From HIV neg to HIV pos

[DigitalFudge]

I remember when this guy was trying to tell us that he got infected by trace amounts of precum that got onto the condom when he was putting on a dude.


We were all like, but sis, we know what you do.


Can someone explain the lies? Why do they lie? Like OP said getting HIV isn't like getting herpes. We know you have to work for it, why do they act like they don't put the time in?

[BostonPirate]

If you are wondering whether or not or why someone has lied, then you still don't get that what they say doesn't matter.

What matters is what choices YOU make every time you have sex. If you do not assume that EVERYONE may be lying and take precautions accordingly, then you are in trouble.

It doesn't matter what THEY say.

It matters what YOU do with YOUR body.

[DigitalFudge]

It doesn't matter what THEY say.

It matters what YOU do with YOUR body.

Amen

[G-Lexington]

GL24 hasn't been on in a while. I'm friends with him on FB, though, and he remains a good guy.

And I don't see a problem with removing JUB as a support place. It isn't, really. I don't think it's evil or specifically anti-HIV. It's just standard cross-section of gay society, and it includes all kinds. The young, the old, the helpful, the bitchy, the supportive, the angry.

I'm assuming Empty Closets isn't listed there, either. It's supportive, but more towards the "you're gay and that's OK" sort of direction.

Lex

[Awesomeness]

I can.

About 85% oh HIV infections occur during sexual encounters. That means that most people get infected with HIV through sexual contact.
However, getting infected with HIV is NOT easy, it is actually really hard.

There is only 1-3% chance to get infected, if you are taking part in anal/vaginal sex as a bottom (or woman). If you are the top, this chance is much lower. If you use a condom, the chance becomes thereotically low, unless the condom breaks.

That means, that most of the time you have to have a lot of unprotected sex in order to be infected, and promiscuous guys happen to do that. Not all of them! But some, certainly.
What I say doesn't mean that you have to have a lot of unprotected sex in order to get infected. What I mean is that if you have a lot of unprotected sex with many strangers, than you will be very much likely get HIV at one point of your life.

Those who are paranoid about HIV, go to HIV tests even after protected intercourse, or even if nothing but a kiss happened with little lesions and bleeding wounds in the mouth. They always make sure they are aware of their HIV status and over time they tend to develop a behavioural pattern that gives them more protection.

This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy. If that isn't true I'm sure it's way more than 1-3%. Where are you getting your information? If you keep having sex without a condom, you Will eventually become HIV positive.

And I can't believe there are people in this thread complaining about younger people being more cautious. That's a good thing. I actually think the opposite is happening though. Because of bareback porn it seems like a lot of young gay people are making very stupid decisions in deciding to try it themselves. Back when I was on A4A, a read a young guy's profile that stated he was HIV- but in his texts he says "I refuse to use a condom, don't even bother asking. I know all about safe sex so go preach somewhere else". They think the only thing that's going to happen is that they'll have to take a pill the rest of their life but they don't know that they're going to lose years off their life and a lot of money throughout the rest of their lives.

[Just_Believe18]

I have known several people over the years in my area who have switched their statuses to positive, including a couple of friends.

[DigitalFudge]

This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy.

Google the statistics.

[Laufey]

I'm sorry but if it was 60% chance then much more guys would be infected than there are today.

This source claims it's just half a percent when receiving. 0,065% when giving.

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwr...402a1.htm#tab1

[G-Lexington]

This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy. If that isn't true I'm sure it's way more than 1-3%. Where are you getting your information? If you keep having sex without a condom, you Will eventually become HIV positive.

I've seen the "1-3%" figure elsewhere, and it seems about accurate. That doesn't make that last assertion inaccurate, though. Playing a strict mumbers game, that woud mean after twenty encounters, you'd be facing even odds of having contracted HIV. I'm guessing the reason we don't see these numbers much is because, to put it simply, humans generally don't "get" math. They'll snap up lottery tickets with one-in-ten-million odds, then refuse to get on an airplane because "they don't like their chances". 3-in-100 are decent odds when it comes to gambling, but not for gambling with HIV. Hell, Russian roulette offers 17-in-100 odds.

In regards to your other point, I actually see both happening. Yes, I see some younger people who don't care about safe sex or HIV at all, but for most, I don't think it's because "you can just take a pill" or "I saw it on porn". Instead, it seems just to be the standard "I'm young and therefore immortal" viewpoint - the same that helped lead to the continued spread of HIV through the 80s. But I also see a lot of young people who are terrified of any sexual contact. On Empty Closets, not a week goes by without a panicked newcomer telling me how they haven't eaten or slept for days because they're positive they have HIV...and the story ends up being something like he was kissing a guy at a party, he groped the guy through his jeans a couple of times, and now he's feeling sweaty which means he's positive, right? And no, I don't think that's a healthy attitude to have.

I used the driving metaphor in another thread, and I'll pull it out here, too. The first type are like utterly reckless drivers, who keep the pedal to the metal and swerve into oncoming traffic for the luz and excitement factor. The other group has the nervous Nellies who take half an hour to pull away from the curb, and putt along the road at a snail's pace screaming "I'M GONNA DIE!!!" each time another car comes into view. The smart place is in between. Always wear your seatbelt, follow some safety precautions, and you'll both minimize your risk and have a much better time. Similarly, in the bedroom, always wear a condom, follow some safety precautions, and you'll both minimize your risk and have a much better time.

Lex

[JayHawk]

BTW, on an even further step out off the path of the topic, well maybe not.

That list I mentioned earlier of names? You are the only one left here on that list. You may know of the other people I have always looked for that are on that list. He listed them as "trustworthy, HIV negs" in personal contacts. I think the other names he left were something like GL24, I am sure of that one, I sent him a message when I first joined. The other names were Springerfan, JD, and ughh.... I know I would get the last one wrong.... can't remember it off the top of my head.

Well that is kinda cool... it is like receiving a compliment from beyond the grave... Andreus definitely could make a person feel at ease or challenged... often challenged ...lol. I think springerfan may have been springboksfan from back then...

That is an interesting read vulgar but I could have told you that with no evidence. Gay men are vicious cunts often.... often.

[BostonPirate]

Well that is kinda cool... it is like receiving a compliment from beyond the grave... Andreus definitely could make a person feel at ease or challenged... often challenged ...lol. I think springerfan may have been springboksfan from back then...

That is an interesting read vulgar but I could have told you that with no evidence. Gay men are vicious cunts often.... often.

The last name was Inwood.

A compliment from the grave. LOL. the thread name he left, to direct people, is JUB midnight radio. It was his way of proving that HIV positive people are welcome here, but interestingly enough, it never mentions HIV. Let's just say the kid was complicated.

Let me do a search and a link...

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...midnight+radio

It would seem that the person I give a host of shit to for posting in Haiku, Chance, had a buddy in style. lHA! For anyone that doesn't want to follow the link, it leads to this video with commentary.....



It's interesting that a whole little HIV poz set of people, I'd guess a dozen or so, have passed through here with this video and that thread as their introduction to the forum as a reason to join.

I think that there ought to be an HIV poz forum here for people. God knows I'd be willing to help put it together with thread posts to get it started. I believe this needs more thought than it gets here, and I appreciate that Lucky, I think, the thread starter, for making it and having the chance to be open about my health.

[Huntneo(PT)]

I think that there ought to be an HIV poz forum here for people.

You know...I think that would be a great idea.

and I appreciate that Lucky, I think, the thread starter, for making it and having the chance to be open about my health.

to Lucky!

...and I'm glad you were able to share your story in here, BP. It was very touching and really made me think. I'm sure I'm not alone in that. I knew you were a tough man in more ways than one.

[rareboy]

I'm sorry but if it was 60% chance then much more guys would be infected than there are today.

This source claims it's just half a percent when receiving. 0,065% when giving.

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwr...402a1.htm#tab1

Also this study.

The risk of becoming infected on any single occasion of receptive anal sex with internal ejaculation is 1.43 percent. If the partner withdraws before ejaculating, that risk goes down to 0.65 percent. The infection rate for each occasion of insertive anal sex (topping) is 0.11 percent if a man is circumcised; it goes up to 0.62 percent if a man is uncircumcised. The upshot: receptive anal sex with ejaculation is roughly twice as risky as receptive anal sex with pre-ejaculation withdrawal or topping by an uncircumcised man, and more than 10 times as risky as topping by a circumcised man.

http://www.realjock.com/article/1608

The 60% stuff.....just scary.

[Coward92]

This is not true. It's stuff like this that gets spread around and is the reason why the infection rates keep going up. The doctor at the STD clinic I went to said there's a 60% rate of getting HIV if you bottom without a condom with an HIV+ guy. If that isn't true I'm sure it's way more than 1-3%. Where are you getting your information? If you keep having sex without a condom, you Will eventually become HIV positive.

And I can't believe there are people in this thread complaining about younger people being more cautious. That's a good thing. I actually think the opposite is happening though. Because of bareback porn it seems like a lot of young gay people are making very stupid decisions in deciding to try it themselves. Back when I was on A4A, a read a young guy's profile that stated he was HIV- but in his texts he says "I refuse to use a condom, don't even bother asking. I know all about safe sex so go preach somewhere else". They think the only thing that's going to happen is that they'll have to take a pill the rest of their life but they don't know that they're going to lose years off their life and a lot of money throughout the rest of their lives.

I got my information from various sites that are dedicated to HIV and AIDS.
I don't say it is right, but where is your source?

[Awesomeness]

In regards to your other point, I actually see both happening. Yes, I see some younger people who don't care about safe sex or HIV at all, but for most, I don't think it's because "you can just take a pill" or "I saw it on porn". Instead, it seems just to be the standard "I'm young and therefore immortal" viewpoint - the same that helped lead to the continued spread of HIV through the 80s. But I also see a lot of young people who are terrified of any sexual contact. On Empty Closets, not a week goes by without a panicked newcomer telling me how they haven't eaten or slept for days because they're positive they have HIV...and the story ends up being something like he was kissing a guy at a party, he groped the guy through his jeans a couple of times, and now he's feeling sweaty which means he's positive, right? And no, I don't think that's a healthy attitude to have.

Lex

They're only teenagers on that site though. It's normal for teens to freak out because they don't know much about sex yet. I freaked out when I was a teenager too.

Seeing and talking to guys who are young adults online and in person, a lot of them are making really stupid decisions that they will regret the rest of their lives.

[DigitalFudge]

If the HIV rate was even close to 30% there would be a cure because we'd have civilizations being wiped out

[Telstra]

Lots of Ugly going on in this thread.

I am a long term HIV survivor. Seventeen years. It's why I got involved in politics. My husband is negative. There is a way to make sure that you are safe if you are safe.

To anyone else that thinks that it's not a problem to become infected because there are people like me that beat the odds from the beginning, I have two things to say. One... It's extremely expensive to stay alive and HIV positive on a long term basis. It requires extraordinary committment to fighting every step of every way. On good days I get around with two canes or crutches. On an average day I am in a chair, of the wheels variety, and on bad days I am hospitalized and given morphine intravenously, to keep the pain at bay.

The long term effects of the HIV drugs have devastated my nervous system. I am immobile due to extreme neuropathy.

It's not cute to get it.

It's not attractive to see the things written here in an online forum. Two years ago, I found a listing for this place in a log of resources of a support group I belong to. Someone a few of you know, called Andreus, listed this forum there as a support tool. There are others here who have been sent here by his message in that log. There have been for years after his death apparently.

After reading this thread, I am taking the JUB listing out of the log in next months meeting.

There are quite a few people who need to reconsider a few things, one most importantly being, do I seem like the kind of person that takes this kind of thing lightly?

Thanks for this post, very educational.
This is what people should fear in bold.

Sounds like a death sentence or being dis-able forever.

[BostonPirate]

Thanks for this post, very educational.
This is what people should fear in bold.

Sounds like a death sentence or being dis-able forever.

Not if people find their status early through testing and get educated.

Thanks for the thanks,

[Telstra]

It's not just the medications. Blood tests can cost over a thousand and sometimes they are needed monthly. There are all the side effect medications you take... meds to treat side effects from the damage the old cocktails did... and then there are the meds for the meds.

The chemicals alone are devastating. I was throwing up blood a year ago, with an ulcerated esophagus, and let me tell you how fond HIV neg people are of being around HIV pos people who are yacking blood.

It piles on, layer after layer.

The HIV pos people here by and large will never complain about it though, because they understand the value of life, and the joy of not being treated like a needy freak.

HIV pos people want respect, but not really attention or pity. We just want to fit in.

That is the reason why threads like this can spook people... So I outed myself as an AIDS patient.

BTW... the notes he left gave this site as a resource, it listed a few friendly names only one of which is still here, and the name of a thread here that he wanted to be remembered for within the HIV pos community.

The thread is still here.

Some what off topic here but true story.
A guy i met afew years back was HIV+ and he wanted to eat my poo but i refused. He said he ate poos before He did rim me but only told me after.
I think he should let people know before doing things. He smell different, smells like over medication.
I made a thread about him i think. True story sorry.

[BostonPirate]

Some what off topic here but true story.
A guy i met afew years back was HIV+ and he wanted to eat my poo but i refused. He said he ate poos before He did rim me but only told me after.
I think he should let people know before doing things. He smell different, smells like over medication.
I made a thread about him i think. True story sorry.

I think you're a scary bizarre little troll who needs professional help.

If that is not clear enough english for you let me know.... I can be more direct on request.

[Telstra]

Not if people find their status early through testing and get educated.

Thanks for the thanks,

But still a life sentence if Positive.

[Telstra]

I think you're a scary bizarre little troll who needs professional help.

If that is not clear enough english for you let me know.... I can be more direct on request.

oh dear, so speaking the truth is a troll ...

[BostonPirate]

You have missed the point you silly turnip.

And don't think you are quite as clever as you do.

[Telstra]

You have missed the point you silly turnip.

And don't think you are quite as clever as you do.

Ok be more direct LOL.
I was talking about my experience with that guy and you become some what angry.

[BostonPirate]

Ok be more direct LOL.
I was talking about my experience with that guy and you become some what angry.

Oh sweetcheeks, you have no idea what Angry looks like on me if you think this is it.

What I have for you after reading your posts, is abject contempt for the lack of intelligence you have displayed in your writing. I dare say that there are few here, as bad at playing games as you are.

When you want to have a grown up conversation, try it.

If you are going to write bizarre things in a thread that needs more responsible discussion, go find someone that has a brain and ask them what to say.

Don't troll me, dude. It won't end well for you.

[Telstra]

Oh sweetcheeks, you have no idea what Angry looks like on me if you think this is it.

What I have for you after reading your posts, is abject contempt for the lack of intelligence you have displayed in your writing. I dare say that there are few here, as bad at playing games as you are.

When you want to have a grown up conversation, try it.

If you are going to write bizarre things in a thread that needs more responsible discussion, go find someone that has a brain and ask them what to say.

Don't troll me, dude. It won't end well for you.

Point taken but it is still a true story.

[Corny]

n HIV poz forum here for people. God knows I'd be willing to help put it together with thread posts to get it started.

No, not at all. Everytime we created a new forum because certain topics have been dominating the discussion and we wanted to create space for the variety of all of them (like splitting entertainment from celebs and ce&p from hot topics), a few people understood this as us "Hiding the topic" or making it "less accessible".
Now, if a new forum would be for HIV related topics only, I'd actually agree with those voices. This topic should be out there. To be seen and to be seen as an existant and very real problem that everybody should face (be confronted with), not just those who care enough to open the extra forum for it.

That being said, I am certain that there is more interest in a thread about your experience than you might expect. If you don't seem it suitable for HT, you might use Health & Wellbeing .. or for other aspects even CO&R.

[BostonPirate]

No, not at all. Everytime we created a new forum because certain topics have been dominating the discussion and we wanted to create space for the variety of all of them (like splitting entertainment from celebs and ce&p from hot topics), a few people understood this as us "Hiding the topic" or making it "less accessible".
Now, if a new forum would be for HIV related topics only, I'd actually agree with those voices. This topic should be out there. To be seen and to be seen as an existant and very real problem that everybody should face (be confronted with), not just those who care enough to open the extra forum for it.

That being said, I am certain that there is more interest in a thread about your experience than you might expect. If you don't seem it suitable for HT, you might use Health & Wellbeing .. or for other aspects even CO&R.

I see your point. Well I am not interested in being the poster child for HIV pos people here, but I can certainly try to post threads on the topic in this forum and in some of the other forums already here.

HIV pos people don't need to be separated off to talk to each other. People need to be included in the conversation that are NOT positive, so that they stay HIV negative.

I hadn't considered the concept of segregation by HIV status. That seems like a very BAD idea, I agree.