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Thread: Too scared to come out of the closet

      
   
  1. #1

    Too scared to come out of the closet

    Hey Guys !
    Well, the thing is im a/an 19 year old guy from Swe who lives in a strict culture where homosexual is like strict forbidden. If my parents knows about me im getting like throwed out of the house and like walk on naked feet...

    I have told some friends around 4 close friends that im gay, but they dosent have that experience to assist me...

    Anyone have any idea what to do or like where i can find some pleasure in Europe or just ideas of what to do? Im a mess sorry for the spelling...

  2. #2

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    When you tell your "friends", it won't be long before everyone knows that you're gay. So if you don't want anyone to know then stop telling your ''friends."

    Move out to a larger city, get a job and forget your parents unless they accept you for who you are.

  3. #3
    Rest in peace, mom. JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Welcome. Don't worry about your English. I am happy you found us. Do a search for gay or LGBT support in your country and see what you find. I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. Send me a private message if you would like.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Hi jshshs,

    Welcome and good to hear you have already told some of your close friends that you are gay.

    It seems to me that these friends have reacted on a positive / supporting way. Meaning that they are real good friends of you, and that they don't defriend you because it turns out that you are gay. Bit by bit, you can enlarge this group of people, and have a group of people around you that is supportive.

    Are you living in Sweden? Please be aware that Sweden is very tolerant towards gay people. On the internet, it must be easy to find gay guys of around your age.

    It seems to me that your parents / family have a very religious background. Do you have a muslim or a christian background (or something else)?

    Thanks in advance for some replies. Please be aware that you don't need to give answers on questions, when you feel uncomfortable about it.

    Take care.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  5. #5

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Ok im really not good at reply with quote and so on
    Sorry for the late reply all, canīt be online in this site when my brothers are in the room or even in the house, dont wanna take the risk.
    Could u explain a bit about this LGBT support thing? I live in Sweden, in the hoods of Stockholm. In the hoods you cant like tell people that you are gay, because you will automaticly know that you will be assaulted or bullied for the rest of your time here. Thanks for carrying to all of you, appreciate it alot ! To Ganoderma Im christian, but my family is/are really religious, so homosexuality is like strict forbidden. My friends are really positive and supportive, and we are having so much fun but still they cant provide the support i need. My friends will never betray me because they know that if they would do that, the day after in the news a guy commited suicide (its that tough).

    Im willing to reply to all your questions as long it helps me to improve my self-esteem. I saw this forum like a year back or so dont remeber and have been reading these topics all over.

    If you really could see me right now im bursting in happiness to know that people like you excist and im really happy for your help. Its so lovely to talk with other guys. Do you guys know other who have been in my spot or so? You guys are the greatest <3

  6. #6
    Rest in peace, mom. JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Start by looking at this website. It's a LGBT organization in your country that began in 1950.

    http://www.rfsl.se/?p=3298

    I don't mean to be stupid but in case you don't know, LGBT means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered.
    Last edited by Seasoned; November 15th, 2012 at 11:35 PM.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  7. #7

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Quote Originally Posted by Seasoned View Post
    Start by looking at this website. It's a LGBT organization in your country that began in 1950.

    http://www.rfsl.se/?p=3298

    I don't mean to be stupid but in case you don't know, LGBT means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered.
    Thanks, no its fine. As I said i havenīt been able to do some research at all because of my family. Im really thankful

  8. #8
    Sex God AngolaZee's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Hey I really thought "Nordic" Sweden, Denmark, Finland etc are VERY gay-friendly countries. Looks like I was dreaming.

  9. #9

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Quote Originally Posted by AngolaZee View Post
    Hey I really thought "Nordic" Sweden, Denmark, Finland etc are VERY gay-friendly countries. Looks like I was dreaming.
    Angola Sweden is really gay friendly but it depends on where in sweden you are, in the center of the capital its really common... But if you live in the hoods of the capital where immigrant culture is stronger than the swedish one its not the same thing. In my situation its my culture thats stpping me from coming out...

  10. #10
    Impish and Mercurial Rolyo85's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Every year a bunch of Swedes would come to my school as exchange students. I got friendly with some of them, and others didn't want anything to do with me once they knew I was gay. The ones that were friendly told me Sweden is a place of very deeply rooted bigotries (especially against gays and Jews) but they are buried under the culture of tolerance, and nobody actually talks openly about it.
    That we are capable only of being what we are, remains our unforgivable sin.
    - Gene Wolfe

  11. #11

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Quote Originally Posted by Rolyo85 View Post
    Every year a bunch of Swedes would come to my school as exchange students. I got friendly with some of them, and others didn't want anything to do with me once they knew I was gay. The ones that were friendly told me Sweden is a place of very deeply rooted bigotries (especially against gays and Jews) but they are buried under the culture of tolerance, and nobody actually talks openly about it.
    Thats the crazy thing about them, many of them are civilizied (spelling) with gays and have a normal childhood, other however do not have that in them especially if they have a strict culture or religous backgrounds that forbidds them since young age that homosexuality is Gods forbidden "fruit", its a huge sin and so on.

  12. #12
    JUB Addict Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Do yourself a big favour and start by moving out of your parents' house and community. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.

  13. #13
    loosingyourmind
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Well, I can understand your situation Op, I live in Italy and stuff isn't that easy either.
    But hell, my friends are very supportive (I came out like 2 months ago), and my man is awesome.

    I won't tell my parents though, they're not close-minded but I don't want an awkward situation in this house; so I'll tell them later..maybe
    You don't really have to tell 'em I guess, though, my man is 48 and he never told his family he was gay.

  14. #14

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Quote Originally Posted by loosingyourmind View Post
    Well, I can understand your situation Op, I live in Italy and stuff isn't that easy either.
    But hell, my friends are very supportive (I came out like 2 months ago), and my man is awesome.

    I won't tell my parents though, they're not close-minded but I don't want an awkward situation in this house; so I'll tell them later..maybe
    You don't really have to tell 'em I guess, though, my man is 48 and he never told his family he was gay.
    With some responses and so I thought im going to finish my studies and move out to a new city

  15. #15
    Rest in peace, mom. JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    That's a plan that will probably work for you as long as it doesn't cause a lot of stress.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  16. #16

    Re: Too scared to come out of the closet

    Quote Originally Posted by Seasoned View Post
    That's a plan that will probably work for you as long as it doesn't cause a lot of stress.
    well its the best i can do for the moment haha If i could survive for 19 years 2 more years wouldnt hurt :P

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