So I'll start by saying I'm young and I'm in a relationship with a guy who is in his late fourties. We met online and our first meet was a casual friend with benefits type relationship. We played around and then eventually started hanging out everyday and now we have been together for four months. In the emails that we got to know each other through, I asked him how many guys he had been with before and he only mentioned four but said "there is more to discuss but I dont want to through emails" so it drifted away in my mind untill we were a few weeks into our relationship. One night I asked him about his experiences and he enthusiastically was telling me stories about topping audi dealership guys, doing some mexican in his office, some guy who went crazy for his dick etc. and after hearing all of that I was distraught, I asked how many different guys he had been with and he had to ballpark estimate it. He said about 20 different guys orally, 2 that he bottomed for and about 7 that he topped for over a 4 year period. Ever since I heard that information I cannot let it off my mind. We had a perfect relationship but our first speed bump was when he asked me to share my thoughts, and I told him that it was on my mind A LOT like 5x, because it was all I could think about. He shared many stories and they never leave my mind. He was a straight man up until 4 years ago when some guy came onto him and he let it happen. He was married and he secretly did all of these things behind his wife's back to ensure that he wanted to end his marriage in order to live a gay life.
So I am wondering, does that sound reasonable to fuck around with that many guys? I mean I cant ever get it off my mind.
How can I help get this passed me or will it always haunt me?
Any advice helps.