Do you ever have sex with close friends?

[Laufey]

My best friend and I occasionally have sex. Maybe two or three times a year.

I don't think it's good for our friendship and I always feel bad about it after. We try to avoid it but it seems like it's just always a matter of time until we slip up. I guess it's difficult to never do it again once you have crossed that line.

I was wondering if this is common for gay guys? I've never heard about it happening with any other gay guys I know but on the other hand I'm guessing it's something people avoid talking about.

I'm talking about a real close friend not guys you hang out with or fuck buddies.

Please share

[PreTTy PeTe]

eeewwwwwwwwwwwww

they're are family.

nope never.

oh and welcome to JUB

[rareboy]

I guess the question is whether there are any deeper feelings involved on either person's part.

If so, you are likely going to hurt your friendship. If it is just that you can have fun together and are comfortable with each other sexually without other feelings of attachment or jealousy...then it is just recreational.

[blublud]

I've had sex with both close and not-so-close friends and never experienced any negative after effects.

I don't understand why this could be considered strange. I certainly don't have sex with my enemies.

[Laufey]

Well probably because there is always the possibility of one person developing feelings which can damage or ruin the friendship.

I wouldn't say that's the case but it's still a strange feeling. I'm having sex with a person I love very much so it always touches me more than a one night stand would. It can fuck up my feelings temporarily. I wouldn't say I'm in love though.

Also you might get jealous when the other person goes steady with someone and suddenly you can't have sex anymore.

Maybe the feelings are exaggerated because he's the only person I care for who I have sex with (I've never been in a relationship before).

So there are reasons for it not being the best idea.

Anyway I was just curious if it's rare or not.

[rareboy]

^ You are in so much trouble.

You've hit on both my caveats.

STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW AND I MEAN IT!!! DO NOT MAKE ME COME UP THERE!!!!

[Coward92]

Nope. I usually become frineds with people I find unattractive

[Laufey]

Nope. I usually become frineds with people I find unattractive

LOL good idea I'll keep that in mind for future friends.

For some reason all of my friends are gay males. Might be a good idea to throw in some chicks and straight guys.

[Coward92]

LOL good idea I'll keep that in mind for future friends.

For some reason all of my friends are gay males. Might be a good idea to throw in some chicks and straight guys.

All my friends are gay males too, but if I'm attracted to someone than I can't be friends with him, because I'm quite straightforward about my real intentions.

[cgymike]

My best friend and I occasionally have sex. Maybe two or three times a year.

I don't think it's good for our friendship and I always feel bad about it after. We try to avoid it but it seems like it's just always a matter of time until we slip up. I guess it's difficult to never do it again once you have crossed that line.

I was wondering if this is common for gay guys? I've never heard about it happening with any other gay guys I know but on the other hand I'm guessing it's something people avoid talking about.

I'm talking about a real close friend not guys you hang out with or fuck buddies.

Please share

I question why you would need to do that. Not saying it's wrong or anything but what about a regular fb or whatever. You live in a good sized city and there always tourists too if it comes to that.
But you may be weakening the friendship by crossing that line and as you say it doesn't feel quite right afterwards. It's a mixed result at best....

[loki81]

I have a friend with benefits... we've discussed it and we're both pretty honest about the fact that we'd have no future as a couple, but we enjoy each other's company as friends and, as long as we're both single/unattached, there's nothing wrong with fooling around.

[youngnihilist]

never. MOst of my friends are gay males but I find virtually none of them attractive. and the ones I may have found attractive in general lose their physical attractiveness as soon as we become friends. it's better that way - less drama, simple, easy.

fuck strangers and boyfriends only

[glasvegas]

No. My close friends are all straight guys and even my gay best friend is super hot, still, not a good idea because he's awesome so I value my friendship more than just sex.

[herry1]

I've had sex in the past with my two oldest friends. I've known one about 40 years the other about 37 years. Never affected the friendship.

[JP.]

I just jumped a shark..I turned a fuck partner to be bff..Im telling you, it's not easy but it's worth it.
But I never detour the other way round: Befriend with a guy first, then secretly effin him...

Because that's the recipe of mess- usually.

[refujiunderground]

Heeeelllll no!

[AshyPhoenix]

No. Just because it's an option doesn't mean you have to do it.

[lucky7]

If they are a close friend, it's bound to get messy.

If they are just a regular friend and you are both mature adults with no feelings involved, go for it.

[Kyanimal]

Yes, I've had sex with close friends, Guys and Girls. And, it didn't have to MEAN anything more than having some FUN! Then again, my teens, and twenties, perfectly coincided with the 60s and 70s. "Free Love", "Flower Power", and all that other "Hippie" stuff!

I've never quite understood how having sex with someone you Love, but aren't In Love with, is generally viewed as a "bad" or "dangerous" thing to do! In my experiences, it's only proved to bring us closer by blasting through ALL possible barriers between us.

And, since they are/were such close friends already, and we got to intimately Know each other, when they did fall In Love with someone else, I was able to support them even more, in their new relationship, because I knew them SO well!

Not only do they know Everything about me, and I them, we also KNOW that we can Trust, and Respect, each other to the Ultimate!

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[birddog7]

No, I've never had sex with anybody.

[PreTTy PeTe]

wow what a bunch of hound dogs bragging about shagging their friends.

truly does the friendship stay the same?

if it does then you are a better person then me.

[JWaggy]

wow what a bunch of hound dogs bragging about shagging their friends.

truly does the friendship stay the same?

Ladies and gentlemen, Prudence McPrude, Mayoress of Prudie Town.

[armastus4all]

Such a healthy way of looking at it

Yes, I've had sex with close friends, Guys and Girls. And, it didn't have to MEAN anything more than having some FUN! Then again, my teens, and twenties, perfectly coincided with the 60s and 70s. "Free Love", "Flower Power", and all that other "Hippie" stuff!

I've never quite understood how having sex with someone you Love, but aren't In Love with, is generally viewed as a "bad" or "dangerous" thing to do! In my experiences, it's only proved to bring us closer by blasting through ALL possible barriers between us.

And, since they are/were such close friends already, and we got to intimately Know each other, when they did fall In Love with someone else, I was able to support them even more, in their new relationship, because I knew them SO well!

Not only do they know Everything about me, and I them, we also KNOW that we can Trust, and Respect, each other to the Ultimate!

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[G-Lexington]

I don't find the idea gross or weird or anything. But it just never occurred to me. Considering it now, would I? Probably not. If I found them really appealing at that time, and was really horny, and really convinced that the friendship wouldn't suffer, I guess I might give it a whirl. But right now, it still doesn't seem that interesting a prospect to me.

Lex

[Kyanimal]

wow what a bunch of hound dogs bragging about shagging their friends.

truly does the friendship stay the same?

if it does then you are a better person then me.

No! I didn't shag ALL my friends!

A LOT of the Hottest ones managed to avoid that!

However, I wasn't always exactly "Shy", nor exceptionally "Modest".

I never bought into the generally taught/held concepts, at least here in the U.S., that Nudity equaled Sex, nor that Sex precluded a sense of "Obligation", or "Ownership".

I did not Actively pursue my Friends, butt if the circumstances provided a possible 'opportunity', I didn't 'automatically' rule out Anything, either!

Of course, just like everyone else my age, in my Younger years, I was fascinated by, and extremely curious about, SEX! I studied, and researched, quite a bit about it, and ALL of it's possible permutations (not All of which I found appealing). And, I didn't hesitate when consenting, mutually interesting, situations became evidently 'executable'!

Did it 'change' those Friendships? Yes! It did! In most cases it brought us Closer! Even when doubts, and possible regrets resulted, I was still able to talk to my Friends, and lessen their concerns. It was all about mutual Respect and Trust! I can't recall loosing a single Friend after we'd opened up, and literally exposed our True selves to each other.

All the more reasons to ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[ronboy]

eeewwwwwwwwwwwww

they're are family.

nope never.

oh and welcome to JUB

I'm with PeTe on this one...

[PreTTy PeTe]

Ladies and gentlemen, Prudence McPrude, Mayoress of Prudie Town.

how sweet you are.

but logically speaking when you start sticking your dick up your best friends butt the the friendship will stay the same?

if you do then I can call you the Mayoress of Ignoranceville

[JWaggy]

how sweet you are.

but logically speaking when you start sticking your dick up your best friends butt the the friendship will stay the same?

if you do then I can call you the Mayoress of Ignoranceville

It'd be ignorant to say that every time this has happened, the friendship changed. Whose to say it doesn't change for the better? Not you or I--both highly regarded Mayoresses.

[PreTTy PeTe]

It'd be ignorant to say that every time this has happened, the friendship changed. Whose to say it doesn't change for the better? Not you or I--both highly regarded Mayoresses.

do you know what best friends are?

sadly it seems you don't.

[mbamike]

Yes! Bob and I hook up regularly for "just sex." He tells me to go hook up with other guys too, but I'm satisfied with just him.

[TheFallenAsexual]

I think I wrote in another thread that I never seem to make close gay friends. I've since concluded that because things like feelings or sexual attraction comes up either from one side or the other, it always seems to be difficult.

The closest gay male friend I have in my life right now, I did sleep with (before I really considered him a close friend) and he got attached pretty soon afterward. Which caught me completely off guard, because the entire reason we got along so well is due to us both being huge whores.

Yes! Bob and I hook up regularly for "just sex." He tells me to go hook up with other guys too, but I'm satisfied with just him.

Would you consider him a close friend, though?

[JWaggy]

do you know what best friends are?

sadly it seems you don't.

Your willful ignorance and idealism are charmingly innocent. Are you and Enchanted in the same grade?

[JayHawk]

Just with bendy.... but who could manage to not diddle the fetching young lad?

[reone]

Nope, sex is reserved for more than friends. I have had some issues with having male friends in general, especially gay males, because attraction does seem to develop or at least come into play for a bit on either side. Seems to be less and less with time, though. It's possible that I'm becoming more specific on what I'm looking for.

[ravenstar]

All my close friends are married so nope, I don't have sex with them.

[Laufey]

Like I already said I know it's not the best idea but it just seems easy to do it again once you have crossed that line... it's like now there is no line to cross because we already have. It's been happening for years though and our friendship is just as strong. The negative feelings are just temporary, a feeling of awkwardness and guilt. Although we are both very attracted to each other physically we both realize that we are not a good match for a relationship so we haven't taken that path. It never feels romantic, we don't even kiss. Just fucking around when we are both careless and horny, usually under the influence.

[holeconfusion]

Just with bendy.... but who could manage to not diddle the fetching young lad?

You got that right

[Hard-up1]

Like I already said I know it's not the best idea but it just seems easy to do it again once you have crossed that line... it's like now there is no line to cross because we already have. It's been happening for years though and our friendship is just as strong. The negative feelings are just temporary, a feeling of awkwardness and guilt. Although we are both very attracted to each other physically we both realize that we are not a good match for a relationship so we haven't taken that path. It never feels romantic, we don't even kiss. Just fucking around when we are both careless and horny, usually under the influence.

Friend, your description of it makes it clear that you do not endorse it yourself. I have no condemnation for it, but your description makes it tantamount to mutual masturbation in its lack of regard for one another.

And, I'll wager that if you really dig into the emotions on both sides, you'll discover that one of you two harbors more feelings of hope for a relationship together than the other one does. I'm happy to admit this is presumptuous by me, but you should explore the thought to see.

[Speeds]

Of course not! Doing that will be awkward. Having friends can be a good thing and I would never try to change that.

[mbamike]

Would you consider him a close friend, though?

Absolutely! He is my best bud. We have been friends for years!

However, us hooking up is something new in our relationship. We started this about a month ago. So far everything is great!

[RaKroma]

I don't have many close gay friends. Most of my close male friends are straight and I treat them as brothers. The close gay friends that I do have now, originally started from sexual relationships, but when those ended, these couple of guys stayed around long enough where our friendships have became strong. But at this point, I just could not hook up with them again. This issue has always been a dilemma with me. When I meet new gay guys, I intend to expand my friendships with them, but some of them try to hit on me and I have a hard time deciding whether I risk a potential friendship over hookups.

[Kyanimal]

I truly do not understand why SEX is viewed as such an Intimidating thing! Why does it seemingly hold such possible Destructive Power? Why is Sex considered so Fearful, something to be Afraid of? Why is Sex held so Negatively?

In my view, Sex is a Positive! It's the Ultimate Sharing of Yourself with someone else! It's breaking through ALL barriers, and a True realization of each other's very Being! It expands our very Physical Existence! Sex is THE Validation of our most intimate connection with LIFE!

And, who better to experience that with than with Friends? People that we already Love, Trust, and hold Close? If we already have let them into our Hearts, why be so "skittish" about sharing our Bodies? Why would Sex with 'strangers' be considered more 'acceptable'/thrilling than Sex with Friends? I truly do not understand that seemingly general Disconnect!

Because they ARE my Friends, I have NOTHING to "Hide" from them! If they want to get "Frisky", I'm more than willing to accommodate them! It is enough that we already Love each other without having to be "In" Love with each other!

We are ALL Spiritual Beings experiencing a Temporary Physical Existence! Why not make the Best of it, with those we Value the Most, to the Full extent that we can?

And, of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[ozguy]

do you know what best friends are?

sadly it seems you don't.

Your willful ignorance and idealism are charmingly innocent. Are you and Enchanted in the same grade?

Come on you two, just agree to disagree, kiss & make up!

My best mate and I have been having sex together for years and we're still best mates so it's never created problems for us and our relationship.