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  1. #1
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    help me out here

    why does bi/gay guys think str8t men are so unreachable? i have had quite a few and they seem to be two pump chumps never a good fuck?

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    Re: help me out here

    I guess its because they claim to like girls so much or they are afraid o get beat up. How do you go about it though?

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    Re: help me out here

    Better safe than sorry newt....
    [I]<font color=#EE82EE>Lad of Night[</font>/I] Use every second you have

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    Re: help me out here

    What few gay guys understand is that, for a straight guy, there is no alternative. That doesn't mean that they don't think about it, or that they are disgusted by the idea. It simply means they have a whole life that depends on their "straightness."

    Most straight guys aren't "unreachable". It's fear. The fear that someone will find out. The fear that they will be branded. The fear that everything in their lives will change if others find out. That being said, some Straight guys are simply that. Straight. They aren't interested, they aren't curious, and the very thought of being with a guy repulses them. (Some of you will argue against that, but its reality. Stop fooling yourselves, and deal with it.)

    I was a "Straight" guy for 28 years, except for one month out of a summer when I was 11 and fooled around with a friend from school - oral, jerking off, nothing crazy. (However, that normal part of growing up doesn't make anyone gay.) I knew gay guys who were cool, but avoided them because I didn't want people to think I was gay. Went to college, got into law enforcement, got married, had kids. Lived a straight life. Had been checked out, and had had cute gay guys flirt with me, but I brushed it off. I didn't think I was interested. The problem, was that I was interested. I was curious. How could I say I never liked something if I didn't try it?

    The thing that kept me from exploring was my life, and all the people around me. I'm in a macho job where (like it or not) it is not OK to be gay. (All the queens out there will preach about how that isn't fair, and people should just accept it - but in the real world - it isn't like that. We don't all live in happy-rainbow land where everyone is accepted for who they are.) I had a wife, and kids, and I was very happily married. If I had acted on my curiousity, and someone found out, my career, my family, my reputation in the community - gone. I was "unreachable" because I was afraid. I resisted the temptation because I was afraid. Sure, people are more accepting of gays now than they ever were, but that wasn't enough to squash that fear.

    I worried that if I gave in, and hooked up with a guy, he'd out me. Or try and blackmail me. Turn into a dark secret that wouldn't stay buried. Or worse - be someone who would want to "liberate" me from the life that I was perfectly happy with. On top of all that, I know that gay and bi men are ridiculously promiscuous. Many of them hooking up with a different dude every night. (And don't tell me I'm full of shit - any idiot can look at A4A and see the same dudes night after night cruising.) I always felt that - even if I overcame my fear, and found a guy I could trust, his promiscuity could leave me with some sort of STI or god knows what. Something I could unknowingly pass on to my wife. I found myself on A4A regularly. Chatting, never hooking up. Looking, but never seeing anyone I felt comfortable with. Studying the people more than anything else. I quickly learned that, for the most part, sites like A4A are the worst places to meet a clean, trustworthy guy. A lot of weirdos, guys claiming to play safe, but looking to be pissed on, barebacked, blown, bukkake'd - whatever. Sure, you can use a condom when you fuck, but are you gonna use a condom for oral? (I had worn a condom once getting a BJ from a girlfriend and it was pointless.) There was no way I'd want to wear a condom for oral - yet there was also no way I wanted to chance catching something from a dude who put cocks on his lips as often as a teenage girl used lip gloss. Did I want a guy who I knew was online everynight trolling for cocks to suck to put his mouth on my dick? Unprotected? Not a chance. I couldn't trust any of those people.

    Then it happened. I met a guy when I wasn't looking. I pulled him over for speeding. He had a hot wife and two cute kids. And he was great looking. Well dressed, wicked smile. I let him off with a warning. Walked back to my car and thought - "Man... I would hit that. Hard." Couple weeks later, I was leaving a coffee shop, and I hear some guy shout "Officer". I turned around and it was him. Same wicked smile, this time in jeans and a T-Shirt, but every bit as good looking as before. He thanked me for the warning, and told me that he had been out riding his motorcycle. I had been thinking about buying one, so we chatted about motorcycles for awhile. The more I chatted with him, the more I realized how cool of a guy he was. He knew a motorcycle dealer in town that could cut me a deal, so we exchanged business cards. I got a call, and had to leave. But, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

    He called me out of the blue one day, and we met for a beer. We chatted and met for beer regularly after that. A month down the road, we were sitting on the waterfront shooting the shit, and out of nowhere there was this look between us. I saw his eyes change for a second. Like - there was a shift in the universe. The conversation stopped for almost a full minute and we just stared at each other. I now believe that that look was us realizing that this had become more than two guys who had become friends through an unlikely encounter on a highway. We were two guys in the same life situation. Who had the same feelings and thoughts. The same burning urge that had been limited by fear and the inability to trust anyone. We each had families and careers at stake, and just as much to lose as the other. We had found what we had been looking for all along - someone to explore with. Someone who could fill that space. Someone who, without even trying, had smashed through the walls that us Straight/Bi guys put up to protect us.

    (I just realized I was writing a novel here, and kinda hijackin the thread - so I'll cut all the background stuff out. Sorry.)

    That night began what continues to be an incredible relationship. We are both still happily married to our wives, still happily in the closet, and now living our lives without the fear that kept us from exploring who we are. That empty space that I felt (like most curious guys who are too afraid to act on their feelings) is filled. That fear is gone. I trust him like I trust my wife, and I know that he feels the same way. I'm not afraid of my life changing. He and I are committed to this relationship that we have and we are comfortable because it is safe.

    You wanna know why straight men are unreachable? It's the fear. Be trustworthy, honest, and understanding, and you'll get your straight guy. He needs to be reassured that you aren't looking to change him, or his life. He needs to know that he can be with you, and you'll keep your mouth shut. That you aren't looking to ruin him. He needs to trust that you will be monogamous so that he can enjoy your time together without worrying how many times you got fucked by other dudes when you weren't with him - and what you might be infected with as a result. He needs to know that this will be your little secret until he says otherwise. You play by a set of rules that you both agree to from the start. (Like, clean innocent text messages until you get an "all-clear", or pretending you don't recognize him if you bump into him in public when he is out with friends or family.) Give him those things, and make him feel comfortable, and you will have him - if, of course he's a guy like me. Curious but afraid. You can't make a straight person gay any more than you can make a gay person straight, so don't pursue a guy because you think you can "convert" him. You will fail, and will lose what may have been a really good friend. (Because he will resent you for trying to "convert" him, and will likely push you as far away as he can get you. If he doesn't punch you in the face first.)

    You guys are probably thinking; "Well, that's no way to have a relationship. What kind of life is that - keeping everything a secret?" But the reality is that for a lot of us Straight/Bi guys, that's the way it hasto be. If you can't handle it, stick to the openly gay guys, or the shady characters on A4A.

    PS: Wanna know why a lot of Straight Guys are "two pump chumps"? (A theory based on my personal experience) It's because the sex is hotter. It's more animal. Time doesn't have to be wasted with "love" and "tenderness". It's about fucking. You can kiss and make out forever, but when it comes down to the wire, the intensity makes it nearly impossible to be anything more than a 4 or 5 pump chump.

  5. #5

    Re: help me out here

    Quote Originally Posted by LatinJay View Post
    What few gay guys understand is that, for a straight guy, there is no alternative. That doesn't mean that they don't think about it, or that they are disgusted by the idea. It simply means they have a whole life that depends on their "straightness."

    Most straight guys aren't "unreachable". It's fear. The fear that someone will find out. The fear that they will be branded. The fear that everything in their lives will change if others find out. That being said, some Straight guys are simply that. Straight. They aren't interested, they aren't curious, and the very thought of being with a guy repulses them. (Some of you will argue against that, but its reality. Stop fooling yourselves, and deal with it.)

    I was a "Straight" guy for 28 years, except for one month out of a summer when I was 11 and fooled around with a friend from school - oral, jerking off, nothing crazy. (However, that normal part of growing up doesn't make anyone gay.) I knew gay guys who were cool, but avoided them because I didn't want people to think I was gay. Went to college, got into law enforcement, got married, had kids. Lived a straight life. Had been checked out, and had had cute gay guys flirt with me, but I brushed it off. I didn't think I was interested. The problem, was that I was interested. I was curious. How could I say I never liked something if I didn't try it?

    The thing that kept me from exploring was my life, and all the people around me. I'm in a macho job where (like it or not) it is not OK to be gay. (All the queens out there will preach about how that isn't fair, and people should just accept it - but in the real world - it isn't like that. We don't all live in happy-rainbow land where everyone is accepted for who they are.) I had a wife, and kids, and I was very happily married. If I had acted on my curiousity, and someone found out, my career, my family, my reputation in the community - gone. I was "unreachable" because I was afraid. I resisted the temptation because I was afraid. Sure, people are more accepting of gays now than they ever were, but that wasn't enough to squash that fear.

    I worried that if I gave in, and hooked up with a guy, he'd out me. Or try and blackmail me. Turn into a dark secret that wouldn't stay buried. Or worse - be someone who would want to "liberate" me from the life that I was perfectly happy with. On top of all that, I know that gay and bi men are ridiculously promiscuous. Many of them hooking up with a different dude every night. (And don't tell me I'm full of shit - any idiot can look at A4A and see the same dudes night after night cruising.) I always felt that - even if I overcame my fear, and found a guy I could trust, his promiscuity could leave me with some sort of STI or god knows what. Something I could unknowingly pass on to my wife. I found myself on A4A regularly. Chatting, never hooking up. Looking, but never seeing anyone I felt comfortable with. Studying the people more than anything else. I quickly learned that, for the most part, sites like A4A are the worst places to meet a clean, trustworthy guy. A lot of weirdos, guys claiming to play safe, but looking to be pissed on, barebacked, blown, bukkake'd - whatever. Sure, you can use a condom when you fuck, but are you gonna use a condom for oral? (I had worn a condom once getting a BJ from a girlfriend and it was pointless.) There was no way I'd want to wear a condom for oral - yet there was also no way I wanted to chance catching something from a dude who put cocks on his lips as often as a teenage girl used lip gloss. Did I want a guy who I knew was online everynight trolling for cocks to suck to put his mouth on my dick? Unprotected? Not a chance. I couldn't trust any of those people.

    Then it happened. I met a guy when I wasn't looking. I pulled him over for speeding. He had a hot wife and two cute kids. And he was great looking. Well dressed, wicked smile. I let him off with a warning. Walked back to my car and thought - "Man... I would hit that. Hard." Couple weeks later, I was leaving a coffee shop, and I hear some guy shout "Officer". I turned around and it was him. Same wicked smile, this time in jeans and a T-Shirt, but every bit as good looking as before. He thanked me for the warning, and told me that he had been out riding his motorcycle. I had been thinking about buying one, so we chatted about motorcycles for awhile. The more I chatted with him, the more I realized how cool of a guy he was. He knew a motorcycle dealer in town that could cut me a deal, so we exchanged business cards. I got a call, and had to leave. But, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

    He called me out of the blue one day, and we met for a beer. We chatted and met for beer regularly after that. A month down the road, we were sitting on the waterfront shooting the shit, and out of nowhere there was this look between us. I saw his eyes change for a second. Like - there was a shift in the universe. The conversation stopped for almost a full minute and we just stared at each other. I now believe that that look was us realizing that this had become more than two guys who had become friends through an unlikely encounter on a highway. We were two guys in the same life situation. Who had the same feelings and thoughts. The same burning urge that had been limited by fear and the inability to trust anyone. We each had families and careers at stake, and just as much to lose as the other. We had found what we had been looking for all along - someone to explore with. Someone who could fill that space. Someone who, without even trying, had smashed through the walls that us Straight/Bi guys put up to protect us.

    (I just realized I was writing a novel here, and kinda hijackin the thread - so I'll cut all the background stuff out. Sorry.)

    That night began what continues to be an incredible relationship. We are both still happily married to our wives, still happily in the closet, and now living our lives without the fear that kept us from exploring who we are. That empty space that I felt (like most curious guys who are too afraid to act on their feelings) is filled. That fear is gone. I trust him like I trust my wife, and I know that he feels the same way. I'm not afraid of my life changing. He and I are committed to this relationship that we have and we are comfortable because it is safe.

    You wanna know why straight men are unreachable? It's the fear. Be trustworthy, honest, and understanding, and you'll get your straight guy. He needs to be reassured that you aren't looking to change him, or his life. He needs to know that he can be with you, and you'll keep your mouth shut. That you aren't looking to ruin him. He needs to trust that you will be monogamous so that he can enjoy your time together without worrying how many times you got fucked by other dudes when you weren't with him - and what you might be infected with as a result. He needs to know that this will be your little secret until he says otherwise. You play by a set of rules that you both agree to from the start. (Like, clean innocent text messages until you get an "all-clear", or pretending you don't recognize him if you bump into him in public when he is out with friends or family.) Give him those things, and make him feel comfortable, and you will have him - if, of course he's a guy like me. Curious but afraid. You can't make a straight person gay any more than you can make a gay person straight, so don't pursue a guy because you think you can "convert" him. You will fail, and will lose what may have been a really good friend. (Because he will resent you for trying to "convert" him, and will likely push you as far away as he can get you. If he doesn't punch you in the face first.)

    You guys are probably thinking; "Well, that's no way to have a relationship. What kind of life is that - keeping everything a secret?" But the reality is that for a lot of us Straight/Bi guys, that's the way it hasto be. If you can't handle it, stick to the openly gay guys, or the shady characters on A4A.

    PS: Wanna know why a lot of Straight Guys are "two pump chumps"? (A theory based on my personal experience) It's because the sex is hotter. It's more animal. Time doesn't have to be wasted with "love" and "tenderness". It's about fucking. You can kiss and make out forever, but when it comes down to the wire, the intensity makes it nearly impossible to be anything more than a 4 or 5 pump chump.
    Wow hot story

  6. #6
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    Re: help me out here

    Its hotter than that. But I didn't want to hijack the thread any more than I already had. Just wanted to offer some insight into the Straight/Bi mentality. But thanks!

  7. #7
    On the Prowl MarcForExample's Avatar
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    Re: help me out here

    Agreed. Some straight guys are more than happy to get sucked off by a guy, and comfortable knowing you're into them providing youre respectful about it and not hanging all over them. I've had TWO of my straight friends, who are both now married, ask me in the past to give them blowjobs.

  8. #8
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    Re: help me out here

    True. Like I said. It's about comfort, and security.

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