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  1. #1
    je suis charlie
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    You are allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. No one else is doing it for you.

    Either suck it up and be generous for whatever reason seems to validate your own needs or look in your pants, find your balls and let the exes know that the gravy train ends when they betray you and you kick them out of your bed.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Yes, you are being taken advantage of. Stop it. Now.

  3. #3
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    I wouldn't do it, but you're free to make a $30 monthly donation to whomever you wish. He's got me wondering about the $200 figure being that his bill is $30.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  4. #4
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    Be heartless.
    Agreed.

    Cut the fucker off, password protect the account, block his number. Move on with the new lad.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  5. #5
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Heartlessness is taking something away from someone when it means something to them.

    You meant so little to him that he was willing to sleep with someone else when he could have been having a fun time with you, or if you were both in a rough patch, he could have been working on making things better. Instead, he slept with someone else and exposed you to a disease.

    How much more information do you need to realise that you don't matter to him? It's not heartless for you to cut him off because in his mind the only thing he would be losing is $30 a month.

  6. #6
    In Loving Memory palbert's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Very obviously YES!

  7. #7
    Banned
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Well I would stop before 200 bucks becomes much more! "Give him an inch and he'll grab a mile" sort of thing. People can be users but you may be enabling it...

  8. #8
    Oldone
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    How many post do you have to get before your going to do any thing... One would be enough for me. If you can't see what he's doing to you
    then I don't know what to tell you, except WAKE UP!!

  9. #9
    Sex God paatreides's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Yeah, I think so. I'm usually the first one to be jumping up and saying "give him the benefit of the doubt." But, not this time. He continued to take advantage of your generosity when, by all rights, you could've (and probably should have) deleted the line upon breaking up. And, if he was any kind of man, he should have told you to kill the line - that right there gets him the "User" label.

    Cut him off now.

  10. #10
    Sex God
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Do what you want but just remember that you forfeit all complaint rights if you continue to pay. Not another word to friends or family because they don't want to hear it. If you agree to those terms, who cares what you do....well, your new boyfriend my care.

  11. #11
    JUB Addict DigitalFudge's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    It's an ongoing drama in my life. Read the following thread, or at least the OP, to get a little background.

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...ting-and-lying

    Basically speaking, he's now my ex. When we were dating, he was having some financial problems, being a student and all. So, I put him in my phone plan (unlimited everything including 4G data for $30). I even paid for the monthly bill. After we broke up, I kinda left it alone and continued to pay for his portion.

    Been dating this wonderful young man. In an effort to put everything behind me, last month I told the ex I was giving him a month notice to find another phone plan before I cancel his line. Got a call from him and... more drama. Anyway, somewhere in there he asked if he could keep the plan and then pay me $200 in January when he gets his student loan refund. After thinking about it for a couple days, I just texted him I'm extending it for another month and that I didn't care about the money.

    Am I being taken advantage of? A lot of people in my life... actually everyone in my life has told me they would have canceled the line right away as soon as I found out he cheated on me and knowingly exposed me to an std. I considered doing it, but it just seemed too heartless.

    Should I man up a little? What's the right course of action here? I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I don't want to be an ass either.

    I don't like what I'm hearing.

    Cancel that line immediately. You giving him warning and him giving YOU drama was a mess.


    It sounds like your ex needs to be reminded who's name is on that contract.




    Edit: He CHEATED and you are paying for his BILL?


    You know what, disregard this entire post. Let me dip out of this thread.

  12. #12
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Ok, you guys are right. Since I already told him he's got another month to find another phone plan (I keep my word), I'll let him have another month. Please gay god give me the strength to go ahead with the cancellation next month.
    Call your provider today and schedule the disconnect date.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  13. #13
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Don't be an enabler. Don't let others take advantage of you. Remember you make choices in life. No one is forcing you...unless you're being tied up...in bed.

  14. #14
    On the Prowl
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Definitely cancel his line immediately, you are being too nice and he is taking advantage of that and i doubt he will pay you those $200 he says he will give you.

  15. #15
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    You told him you were iving him another month. Give him another month. Just expect another call explaining why he's going to need you to extend it further. And, given past history, I'd say expect to give it to him.

    Lex

  16. #16

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    You really can't be sympathetic at this point. There is no reason to feel guilt, you have done nothing wrong. He put you in danger with the STD so he doesn't seem to care too much about your well-being or he wasn't thinking too clearly. Either way, he needs disconnection from you in order to sort things out and fix himself up. Having him under a phone line is not total disconnection.

    I understand that you may be worried about his financial situation, but it would be best to allow him to gain financial independence.

    Maybe have someone disconnect it with you if you are having so much difficulty.

  17. #17
    je suis charlie
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    It's not made up. I said I decided to compromise before I started this thread. Right now, I'm just not sure what to do.
    Oh for Fuck's sake.

    Liam gave you the answer.

    Call the company and schedule the termination date if you want to keep your word as a gentleman and give him the extra month.

    Grow up. Stop vacillating.

  18. #18
    Dimples glasvegas's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    It's not made up. I said I decided to compromise before I started this thread. Right now, I'm just not sure what to do.
    I don't get the point you started this thread. You said you decided to compromise before you started this thread and then every single post here clearly asking you to cut off and yet you decided not to listen at all. Honestly, man up, pick one and go on with your life. You told him you don't care about the money, you proposed the idea, so he's not taking any advantages.

  19. #19
    Sex God Deandbn's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    YES, YOU ARE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.

    Cancel it now, or switch it to pay for your current boyfriend.
    When, not if, because he will phone to ask why it is cut off, tell him you changed your mind and tell him you are paying him the same sort of respect he paid you previously (with the other guy).
    Last edited by Deandbn; October 31st, 2012 at 08:52 AM. Reason: forgot to answer the question.

  20. #20

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Sure he's using you, but you seem ok with it...actually nice and generous of you to do this for him. I don't see a problem. It's just a few bucks out of your pocket for someone that you care/cared for. He's been given notice of termination...he cannot complain about it.
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  21. #21

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Try this article from slashdot.

    Quote Originally Posted by slashdot
    "New research shows a simple reason why even the most intelligent, complex brains can be taken by a swindler's story one that upon a second look offers clues it was false. When the brain fires up the network of neurons that allows us to empathize, it suppresses the network used for analysis, a pivotal study led by a Case Western Reserve University researcher shows
    Quote Originally Posted by Spock
    Fascinating
    Last edited by mauveb; October 31st, 2012 at 12:26 PM.

  22. #22

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    I just don't want to be an ass like those bastards on judge judy.
    Don't worry about it, like I said, think of it as helping him gain financial independence. It will help him in the long run.

  23. #23
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    I'm glad you're putting your foot down. I hope this doesn't cause troubles with the new bf. Best of luck to you!

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  24. #24
    Sex God The White Stripe's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Its a crime against yourself to care about people who don't care about you. In your life, you are going to have so many people come and go, and you should only take care of the ones who are willing to stick around. The only constant in your life from begining to end is going to be you. Be kind to others, yes, but don''t go out of your way to help those who wouldn't do the same for you.

    "Its better to burn out than fade away"

  25. #25
    JUB Addict Stoowii's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    This happened to me exactly the way it happened to you. I was paying his phone, an iPhone mind you, because I have one of my own. If you have AT&T, you can suspend it. If you are in the middle of a contract, you may have to pay a hefty cancellation fee, so I would suspend it for now.

    And yes, in both this post and your previous post, it seems you are being taken advantage of.

    EDIT: Just saw your post. Good on you.

  26. #26
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Hint - if he calls back to complain again, hang up. That ends the drama.

    Lex

  27. #27
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    That's not hurting him. Or if it is, it's the pain of having the umbilical cord cut. But I'm starting to think that neither of you wants it cut.

    Lex

  28. #28

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    see. many people got ur back

  29. #29
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    I want us to remain friends, though....He currently thinks that I'm doing some kind of power play to get back at him. So, he's holding the password to the account inbox hostage until he gets his old number back.
    Does this sound like something friends do?

    Lex

  30. #30

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    your a sweet guy. Glad you realized you deserved better.

  31. #31
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    I can't do that. That's not me. I'm talking about someone who used to be my honey. I'm not going to hurt him.
    Remember that refusing to indulge his bad behaviour may be a way of helping, not hurting. You don't need to slam the phone down in anger but the steps you are taking to curb his manipulative behaviour may not be sufficent to make the point. And i do feel that curbing manipulative behaviour and his dependence is indeed an act of kindness. BTW, it isn't his phone number. He can request that you have it assigned to him as an act of courtesy, but he can also just change his number like most people who move.

    I also think you should at least consider the possibility that trying to maintain a social connection might not be helping either. Maybe it is fine but I think you owe it to yourself your ex and your new guy to ask that question once in a while, whether he was once your honey or not.

  32. #32
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    May I recommend changing your number? I've done it once before and it is one of the better decisions I've made.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  33. #33
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    It's an ongoing drama in my life. Read the following thread, or at least the OP, to get a little background.

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...ting-and-lying

    Basically speaking, he's now my ex. When we were dating, he was having some financial problems, being a student and all. So, I put him in my phone plan (unlimited everything including 4G data for $30). I even paid for the monthly bill. After we broke up, I kinda left it alone and continued to pay for his portion.

    Been dating this wonderful young man. In an effort to put everything behind me, last month I told the ex I was giving him a month notice to find another phone plan before I cancel his line. Got a call from him and... more drama. Anyway, somewhere in there he asked if he could keep the plan and then pay me $200 in January when he gets his student loan refund. After thinking about it for a couple days, I just texted him I'm extending it for another month and that I didn't care about the money.

    Am I being taken advantage of? A lot of people in my life... actually everyone in my life has told me they would have canceled the line right away as soon as I found out he cheated on me and knowingly exposed me to an std. I considered doing it, but it just seemed too heartless.

    Should I man up a little? What's the right course of action here? I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I don't want to be an ass either.
    Why did you say you didn't care about the money?
    Big mistake !!!


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  34. #34
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    FUCK the ex just texted me saying he wants to kill himself. He wont pick up my calls or reply to texts.
    Here's what you do: if you think it's a credible threat, you call the police and let them sort it out. He's trying to keep himself ingrained in you life; you can't let him.

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  35. #35
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    You did the right thing. I think what should happen next is increasing distance between you. That kind of remark could be a call for help, in which case he has it now. Or it could be a rather twisted way to manipulate you and, knowing you would naturally be concerned, to torment you with no reply while you struggled to reach him. I think that's more than a little shitty, and you need to at least consider that's the kind of game he was playing.

    This guy is 10 kinds of bad news. I think you need to make yourself more available for the decent guy who is in your life now, and to accomplish that by continuing to make yourself less available to your ex.

    If you know he is now okay safe and sound, what condition was he in when the police got there? I'm guessing if they felt he was in any way a risk to himself, he would be in a hospital right now. That leads me to fear he really was being a manipulative bastard.

  36. #36
    JUB Addict Sultan's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    If you have to ask, the answer is more than likely yes and dating someone that you have to constantly need to support financially, and take care of, is not a relationship.

    Judging from the other thread, sounds like he's a manipulative disease bag with borderline personality disorder. Get him out of your life regardless of how much you might be attracted to him. He's not a keeper in any shape or form.

  37. #37
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by looseliam View Post
    May I recommend changing your number? I've done it once before and it is one of the better decisions I've made.
    Now...follow his advice. He could call you again to tell you he's going to kill himself...again.

  38. #38
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    I despise people who are SO utterly selfish and cruel that, as a last resort, they will threaten suicide JUST so they can get back to their neverending mind-games of emotional manipulation and exploitation of people like the OP. It's the lowest of the low.

    I'm no expert but they must be sociopaths or something - the deep psychological need to control and use other people more caring/naive/vulnerable than them, for their own gratification.

    Hopefully this will be the last you hear from him - now he knows that you'll get the police involved he has no cards left to play. But if he persists, sever ALL contact with NO exception.

    I'm glad you've moved on with your life.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    FUCK the ex just texted me saying he wants to kill himself. He wont pick up my calls or reply to texts.
    Tell the police or the local suicide line. It's their problem, not yours.

    Call his friends if you know he's just down. The cheap bitch just needs a shoulder to cry on.

  40. #40
    je suis charlie
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    FUCK the ex just texted me saying he wants to kill himself. He wont pick up my calls or reply to texts.
    Definitely time to change your number.

  41. #41
    JUB Addict Sultan's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Don't inconvienience yourself and change your number because of him. Rather, cut off all contact with him, block his number and don't answer private calls or numbers you don't recognize.

  42. #42
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Can you see that your normal boyfriend is hoping you'll stop taking up so much space in your head with this ex, and so much time in your day?

    As for your ex, you're not responsible for his health, his finances or even his life. He is a troubled adult who is not ready for a relationship, and not ready for a friendship with you. I think you need to sincerely wish him well and not permit any future contact. I think you should apologise to the guy you are snuggling with for all the time it has taken (not to apologise for trying to do the right thing, but for how distracting it is to tie up all the loose ends with your ex) and then follow through by leaving your ex to figure out his life on his own.

  43. #43
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    So which one is hotter? the ex bf or the current ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  44. #44
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    The ex has a muscular body type. Very muscular a actually. The current bf is a twink... hairless and skinny.... and talks and acts like a twink even though he denies it. Two completely different animals.
    I guess he goes to gym alot ...


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  45. #45
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    LOL, dancers don't make money. Money talks too.
    Your current bf looks cool, probably has a nice cock.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  46. #46
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    Here's a video of the ex. He's the guy on the right. If you wanna get together with him, I say go for it.



    Here's the current.



    See? 2 completely different animals.
    man, no offense but i see no difference. @ your ex boyfriend. he was killing those moves.

    you know, i don't know how old your ex is but it sounds like you like dating younger guys and a lot of younger guys don't have their shit straight.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  47. #47
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Gender
    Male
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    Single
    Posts
    30,565

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    You've no idea
    Yes i do, according to porn,
    Your current bf looks like he got a big cock.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  48. #48

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    Quote Originally Posted by animalius View Post
    I just got a text message from the ex. It says "I love you". How would you interpret this message? Is he really not over me yet?

    He needs his phone bill paid before service is cut off...
    Bad decisions make good stories.

  49. #49
    je suis charlie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Orientation
    Gay
    Status
    Partnered
    Posts
    34,590

    Code of Conduct

    Re: Am I being taken advantage of?

    ^ lol.

    My thoughts exactly.

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