Syphilis and kissing

[mar1981]

I am near to bouncing off walls with panic. I thought I was doing the right thing and was protecting myslef. Myself and a guy met off the internet for mutual masturbation, kissing and oral sex (I only performed on him). For oral he put a condom and and the turned it around...so now I am concerned I could have been exposed to hiv or other stds through pre-cum. Then I read that syphilis is very common in the gay community and it can be passed on by kissing (I thought this was safe)!

[KaraBulut]

Panic isn't particularly helpful.

The most common thing that you will get this time of year from kissing is the flu. Beyond that, worrying about kissing isn't about risk of getting an STD- it's more about your anxiety about having sex with a relative stranger.

There's always a certain about of risk to everything. Your chances of getting into an auto accident sometime in your lifetime are pretty good. You can freak out and never drive again. Or you can take driver's ed, get your license, drive carefully, wear your seatbelt and keep your fingers crossed.

The same is true about sex. You can stay home and jack off to porn and you'll never get an STD. Most people don't do that- they chose their partners carefully, they only do what they feel is acceptable risk and they get tested for STDs on a regular basis.

From what you've described, the risks are low. However, because you are a sexually active adult, you should go and get tested. And if you're going to get this anxious, you need to rethink your strategy about internet hookups and focus more on dating and having sex with a regular partner.