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  1. #1
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    Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    last december , i lost my soul- mate - being alone and without him for all these months is really tufffffffff. I met NIKKI , back in highschool at the age of 16 , he was somethingelse .

    Have you ever met that 1 person you just start talkin , 2 and you feel like you have known them for years or have friend up before? Well that was NIKKI , we clicked and pretty much liked and agreed on everything , rarely argued , i can only count 2 x's . A, year after highschool i wanted to quit , make some coin and have my own shit- well my dad gave me the ultimatum , work or school , i chose the latter, and i havn't looked back .

    After quitin school , me and NIKKI kept hangin , till 1 day i , he laid 1 on me - it was euphoria for me , kinda weird but ..... From then on we were inseperable , and after 2 years of workin and livin at home , i wanted my own leaf , and that was the start of a great , but short , confusing at times life for me . M y parents never, really put it together or at least they didn't want to aproach me about it . NIKKI , went to scool and i made coin , after knowing and loving him for ten years , he was taken away, What GOD wants GOD takes , i still think he punished me and maybe NIKKI 2 , for what we were doing , i struggle with this everydamn day . I , feel at times that i'm ol and dead inside , we were so young and didn't know it . When you grow up in a hurry and become responible you forget how young you really are , but when your world is gone , you realise just how ol , and empty you feel. I , dread this comming december , but , gotta go on . At 26 , life should be sweeeeeeeeet , all the time - WRONG. It all depends on what goes down , and what path ur gonna walk , at least that's the crazee way i think .

  2. #2
    Vilified Poster. BENDERBOY's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Its nice to know that in the short time he was here, he managed to find love and happiness.
    Hopefully in the future you will find it again with someone as equally wonderful.
    "You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person"
    - anonymous quote.

  3. #3
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    ya , i know , i will never get over him BENDERBOY , but i really am glad for knowing him , and having the chance , 2 , experience real love , so many told us we were in lust , and infatuation - funny how they were all broke up , and we lasted .... Sometimes life confuses u , it sure played 1 on me . I hope , u find love and happiness 2 , and remember don't let it go , and appreciate every damn day with him , cause , u just never know .

  4. #4
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Wow this is so touching. You experienced the kind of love/connection I've always dreamed about. I'm so sad to hear about you losing it...really, really sad. I know no one could fill his shoes ever, but I hope you do find another love as sincere, fulfilling, and affirming as the one you lost. Sending hugs and hopes for bighter days your way man.

  5. #5

    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Many people never find that level of love. If you loved him that much then he will never truly be gone.

    I hope one day I can find the same level of love.

  6. #6
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    God wasn't punishing you.

    You will see.

    Don't doubt your love. It's fine to doubt God, or your understanding of him, but don't doubt your love.

  7. #7
    Unplugged .... justaguy's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    I agree with Hard-up 1. I don't believe god was punishing you.
    Why would a god create you the way you are and then punish you for acting out the way he made you feel? Wouldn't that be hypocritical?
    Anyway, you were blessed to have that love to share together. All the best for a great future.

  8. #8
    I'm now a grandfather! JUB Moderator Seasoned's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    I'm sorry you lost your love. You are taking care if yourself by anticipating the difficulty of the upcoming anniversary. Find ways to honor him and what you had. Nikki is with you everyday wishing the best for you. Keep making him proud.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

  9. #9
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    thanx ,4 all the great wishes and advice . I do realise that blamiing GOD for everything is weak , and silly. I guess becasue we were both raised and went to catholic schools , it was always ingrained in ur brain , that GOD found homosexuality an abomination ...

    Make no mistake , i do believe in GOD , but i don't conform myself to any religion . And yes i do honestly believe that THE SAME GOD THAT MADE YOU MADE THE GAY AND LESBIANS TO. I guess i just have the need to blame and vent at GOD , because it's the easiest thing to do [weak ] on my part. I , really do appreciate /treasure each and every memory I have of NIKKI, but GOD , how i would dig ditches the rest of my life just ,2, have him back for 5 minutes . Ya , i'm in a pretty f...... up state of mind , i know , so many ppl tell me that , and i do understand that , but many ppl just don't understand how really great that love, friendship was. Again thanx for all the input , u, jub members are very much loved and appreciated by me , and many others , this i do know for certain.

  10. #10
    JUB Addict racer2438's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Your memories, will last you a life time.. keep them close to your heart, but remember you still have to live your self.
    You cant change the way the wind blow's, but you can change the angle of your sail to take you somewhere else!!

  11. #11
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    My deepest condolences on your loss. Take comfort in knowing that you loved him, and that he knew that love. Remember all the good times you shared. You'll never find the same love you had with Nikki, but you will find love when you're ready to accept it.

    Be well, and good luck.

  12. #12
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Thank you for sharing your story. You had such a beautiful love. Nikki would want you to take care of yourself. His love helped shape your life and knowing him and carrying on will make you a stronger and better person in the long run and it is a credit to Nikki's life. Many people still care about you.

  13. #13
    JUB Addict vulgar_newcomer's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    I like your writing style.

    Just think in a impossible universe, with a billion Stars, and a million galaxies of mostly cold dead rock and gas , you 2 found Earth and on a Earth where most life dies before breathing its 1st yr, you both found each other at the right time, and the time was right for what you had. Most can't score half of what you did with longer time and all want more, but time is merciless and gives you less.

    Think of those odds the next time you go to by a lotto ticket. Because you won already.

  14. #14
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your love. I sincerely hope you have a great future that will be coming ahead of you

  15. #15
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Missing you - my soul n mate = true story.

    well, that ended quick.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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