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  1. #251
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    sometimes, when i think about how certain things in this world operate, how society is and think about how it has affected my life and eventually will, i think i would be better off dead sooner than later. things aren't going to get better. they're going to get worse. i would much rather be dead than to have to live my life being miserable in a society like this. you know things will be good, bad or whatever but it's about how you manage it and if your head isn't in the right place, little things that are nothing may hurt you. you know, i would be better off living in the woods by myself off with little to no contact with people, no tv, and whatever. but even so, i think that the reason why i'm feeling so down might be some chemical imbalance upstairs. if it were up to me, i would be keeping busy hanging outside, encouraging my brother and my homeboys to do something together. get some fresh air and hang out with me but everybody wants to be holed up in the house all day.


    even hearing the police cruisers circling around my block and knowing that they've been acting real suspicious for the past week, parked up down the road like they're watching somebody just irks me. they had three cop cars with police officers outside somebody's house just talking on friday. i don't know who they're looking for or who they want word with. i know i didn't do anything BUT being how the police act towards black men out here, it wouldn't surprise me if they wanted to have a word with me over something as well as any young black guys over here. about a month ago, they were circling around the block like 6 times while i was blowing out the leaves on my front yard and to tell you the truth, i think they were watching me. that's me being paranoid though. i don't trust the police. had quite a few run ins with police in the past and they damn sure weren't good ones.

    and even now, just hearing my father singing basically crying for attention and feeling my left foot cringing for whatever reason, i feel sick BUT i'm not physically sick.

    just hope that the trip to the psychiatrist actually helps me out. i won't give up on myself but at the same time, i think i'm reaching my breaking point.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  2. #252
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    I think the Kuli-O is handing us a bit of a

    snow job

    up there in his post #436, yess I do..
    are you saying that the plow guy was him?
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  3. #253
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Getting ready for New Year but nothing great to wear.

    Yawn...btw 2013 looks uneventful...

    Boring is good

  4. #254
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Getting ready for New Year but nothing great to wear.

    Yawn...btw 2013 looks uneventful...

    Boring is good
    same shit, different day. the saga never ends.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  5. #255
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    Those are classic symptoms of sleep paralysis, RJ.

    During medieval times, people had a "first sleep" and a "second sleep". Because of this, they had a whole lot more of these sleep paralysis episodes than people do today. Since many sleep paralysis dreams become sexual, their experiences gave rise to the idea of a "succubis" or an "incubus"--demons that come to ravage you sexually during the night.

    There's nothing to worry about, RJ. It's all a production of our marvellous brains.
    that in itself sounds scary. so you're saying that it's basically a dream about sex that happened BUT there was technical difficulties because of sleep paralysis where it seemed real when it wasn't.

    that's another interesting thing that you brought up though. it would be interesting to read or see a research about how the brain and body reacts during a dream when someone has a dream where they're actual being touched by someone. does the skin and body react the same way to being touched in a dream like how it is when someone is really being touched by someone? that would be crazy because that would be like dreams being another dimension. who knows? maybe there's a world that people awake in when they go to sleep and that we're sleeping in that dreamworld where we're awake. it's just strange.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  6. #256
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    Getting ready for New Year but nothing great to wear.

    Yawn...btw 2013 looks uneventful...

    Boring is good
    I'm so confused, do guys have some kind of special dress code on new year's?

  7. #257
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    just hope that the trip to the psychiatrist actually helps me out. i won't give up on myself but at the same time, i think i'm reaching my breaking point.
    Yes, don't give up on yourself. You know something in you needs to be fixed. Get it fixed and see whether things don't get better for you. GET TO THAT PSYCHIATRIST! ASAP. When is it scheduled for?

    I hope that in your long-range plans there is a plan to get out of your parents' house, if it is as toxic a place as you describe. Maybe even out of the NYC arera entirely. Depending on your skills and education, a place like the Rochester area might be a good choice. But you have to be able to tolerate the cold and snow of our winters.
    Last edited by MrRochesterNY; December 30th, 2012 at 01:16 PM.

  8. #258
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by MrRochesterNY View Post
    Yes, don't give up on yourself. You know something in you needs to be fixed. Get it fixed and see whether things don't get better for you. GET TO THAT PSYCHIATRIST! ASAP. When is it scheduled for?

    I hope that in your long-range plans there is a plan to get out of your parents' house, if it is as toxic a place as you describe. Maybe even out of the NYC arera entirely. Depending on your skills and education, a place like the Rochester area might be a good choice. But you have to be able to tolerate the cold and snow of our winters.
    january 17th. to tell you the truth, it's something that i'm NOT looking forward to. i have mixed feelings about them and from what i've heard from the people at this group therapy thing that i went to, they said that the psychiatrists at that spot do not care about the patients. they're only there to prescribe medication. the psychiatrists in the past that i've been either thought that i had nothing wrong with me, was basically having adjustment problems and had something that i could shake off or they thought that i had something wrong with me where i needed to be medicated. i need help but i don't trust them though.

    i'm just scared that they might make me worse off than i already am. then i realize that if i don't go and try to take care of it all by myself, i'm ONLY going to find myself back in the same situation, whining, crying, complaining, looking for a miracle or a saving grace and etc. the funny thing is that the whole "you can do it all by yourself" thing was the same advice my mother, my brother, and my homeboys been giving me for the longest since way back when and it didn't work.

    and getting out of here is one of the long range plans i have as well as going to law school. it's that i have to get my mind right first because i realize that one of the reasons why i am stuck in the boat that i am in right now is because of my own doing. i really don't care where i move to, it could be buffalo, rochester, england, florida or whereever. it really doesn't matter. it's what i make it. it could suck or be a wonderful experience. the way my mind is right now, i will be miserable whereever i go whether i'm in new york city or in some small town with nothing in west bubblefuck.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  9. #259
    Down But Not Out BillyT's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    I don't like the recent negative attention I've been getting.
    Click image for larger version. 

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  10. #260
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    I don't like the recent negative attention I've been getting.
    All attention is good attention.

    I had my moments where I think people think I am not all that "good". I count on the next idiot to make a fool of myself to take the limelight away. It's works like a charm. And at JUB, there is no shortage of fools to go around.

  11. #261
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by reone View Post
    Although out of my control, I'm a little disappointed with all of the animosity on the forum at the moment. It's carried over into several threads.
    Animosity over what/whom?

  12. #262
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    ChickenGuy's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    I don't like the recent negative attention I've been getting.
    If it was about what Enchanted/Sex Kitten was ranting about before he self-deleted then I'd forget about him, he's a troll and he said worse to AshyPhoenix amongst others on previous occasions.

    To the greater point, however....

    (how do I phrase this)

    Let us say I had a crush or infatuation with someone on JUB. I'd mention it maybe once, maybe most about four or five times in a year. No more than that because I'd feel I'd make the target of my affections uncomfortable, and I'd also over time begin to test the patience of others on here.

    But now let us say I made it known forcefully every single day on JUB, on multiple threads. And not only that, that I agreed and backed up everything that person was saying, ALWAYS. And now let us say that person was sometimes deliberately antagonistic, petty, disrespectful, arrogant, and behaved like an arsehole. But I continued to blindly sing that person's praises every day on JUB, and DEFINED myself as being his counterpart.

    I would never be surprised in those circumstances if I received negative attention.

    That is NOT to say you're always like that, and I know full well you're kind-hearted and trustworthy and I read as much during those bad times about a year ago when you had such terribly unfair treatment from your partner. And you're STILL not like that because I've seen posts from you around here proving it. Those occasions are when you speak truly for yourself and are independent.

    Unfortunately the influence of Benderboy (since we all know full well at this stage that he's who I'm talking about) rather turns you SOMETIMES (not always) into a puppet of his and a rather blind and unthinking one at that.

    I don't expect you to agree with me - no more than I myself would agree with me, say at age 18-21 with my being besotted with best friend (same situation) - it was beyond my comprehension back then, despite my mother calling me a 'lapdog' to him. I'd never listen.

    Maybe in time you can find your own self-identity more on here once again.

  13. #263
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    The only reason why Cupidboy stands out is because Elvin is not here for the rest of you to go gaga over.

    I like Elvin and some of his admirers but some of the other cult members were nuts. Like seriously psycho. In this case, Benderboy is the new Elvin and Cupidboy is just an admirer. Give it a few more months and we can find a new cult at JUB . I don't think there is anything wrong with their interactions. It's what friends do, friends support each other. Though I agree it is painfully obvious that both of them are into each other, it is quite harmless. And most of time, the posts are funny thanks to the gifs.

    The same can be said about Lilbit and me. Although there is no love between me and that skank, I am sure at one point our antagonism got old.

    I don't see CB's bitchness as rude bitchness. I think I have shown I can be worse than that. So why the fuck is no one talking about me? Argh, I just want some goddamn attention!!!!!!!S@!!!!!!!

  14. #264

    Falcon16's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    All these negative waves are seriously depressing in all these threads. Have we nothing else to chat about?

  15. #265
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    It is a bit more intense lately. I think the holidays are stressing some people out and they're just lashing out online to release some bottled up emotions. It is getting really hard to keep track of who dislikes whom and all the various grudges and bad-blood some posters have for each other. Or maybe I'm just really oblivious to a lot of the more subtle stuff until it just blows up but, yeah, I agree. A bit of drama can be fun but if it gets too vicious, or too much, it stops being amusing.
    The animosity other than that which comes in the form of so ridiculous I doubt anyone's taking it seriously (i.e. Waffles Kitten) is SO muted around here that I don't even know WHAT people are referring to when they talk about all the "huge drama on this forum." I swear I wonder how many JUBBers have been to other forum communities to think what goes on here is intense, mean or anything more than a burp in the usual flow of things. Go to other forums and you will see people viciously at each other's throats, responding to EVERY post the other person makes on ANY topic and ripping into them, for dozens of pages, until whatever moderation is around reluctantly steps in-- usually after this has dominated a given forum for weeks or months.

    By comparison around here I literally need to ask people "wait, what? What drama with who?" It's not even big enough to notice.
    Last edited by Corny; December 31st, 2012 at 02:18 AM. Reason: images depicting minors removed

  16. #266
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    I'm not speaking about other forums, or comparing JUB to them. But on here, lately, yes it has been pretty intense. I'm not even talking about trolls, just regular members at each others throats.
    Like who? Seriously. I don't even know what you're talking about.

  17. #267
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    Like who? Seriously. I don't even know what you're talking about.
    Last week, it was me.

    But I was going through something. So there.

  18. #268
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ram View Post
    Last week, it was me.

    But I was going through something. So there.
    It was you being hostile or you having people attack you? :O

  19. #269
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by xbuzzerx View Post
    It was you being hostile or you having people attack you? :O
    Usually, I am a nice cunt who mildly pisses people off but for some weeks, I was a little more cunty. I wasn't hostile... more emotional.

  20. #270
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    january 17th. to tell you the truth, it's something that i'm NOT looking forward to.

    Do stick to it, though, r. - I'll be with you in spirit, at least. I think that JB and others will be as well.

    the psychiatrists in the past that i've been either thought that i had nothing wrong with me, was basically having adjustment problems and had something that i could shake off

    As I've mentioned before, perhaps it could help if you printed out some of the posts you've made here on JUB, especially the ones that came from your venting (when done in flow-of-consciousness style), because those will much more effectively describe your feelings than trying to answer a few questions he/she asks you without even having relevant prior historty about you. Of course, answering those questions is also helpful, and it adds to the tools which may be formed to be helpful to you.

    then i realize that if i don't go and try to take care of it all by myself, i'm ONLY going to find myself back in the same situation, whining, crying, complaining, looking for a miracle or a saving grace and etc. the funny thing is that the whole "you can do it all by yourself" thing was the same advice my mother, my brother, and my homeboys been giving me for the longest since way back when and it didn't work.

    Very true, left "untreated" it is NOT going to cure itself. As I told you privately, if I lived in the neighborhood, I'd seriously consider going with you, so that you could be assured that somebody, who actually wishes well for your success in these efforts, would be in the lobby all the while, and to see you after your appointment.

    and getting out of here is one of the long range plans i have as well as going to law school.
    You're correct, at least to some degree - as toxic as your living situation IS, you may have a tough "go" of trying to make do on your own and without a job, etc. Only you can know if you're ready for any roommates, but my guess is that you would say that you aren't.
    "
    Last edited by frankfrank; December 30th, 2012 at 10:31 PM.
    BOSS: I'm sorry, but I'll have to lay you and Jack off.
    SUE: Can you just jack off? I feel like shit today.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

    BALTIMORE POLICE: To Protect and Sever.

  21. #271
    JUB Addict Ram's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    There is a big difference between this thread and the "Confessions" thread but I am not seeing it.

  22. #272
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ram View Post
    Usually, I am a nice cunt who mildly pisses people off but for some weeks, I was a little more cunty. I wasn't hostile... more emotional.
    I think you're a nice cunt? Plus I have lost mouthfuls of coffee when you and LilBit exchange words.

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl View Post
    I mean, why do you need people to pull up a bunch of specifics, xbuzzerx? If you don't feel that there hasn't been an uptick in negatively recently on JUB, then you are free to feel that way.

    I don't want to get into a bunch of issues because that will only lead to more issues.
    That's fine if you don't want to stir the pot but I still honestly don't understand the :'-( drama here is so bad thing. I seriously think this place is milder than a Jack in the box spicy chicken sandwich compared to 90% of the net where it's like I said.. if someone doesn't like you look forward to them trolling you and following you to every post you make, responding to it and dragging you into off topic vicious flamewars. With mods doing nothing. That's the more typical forum.

  23. #273
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by stacy View Post
    Stop it. Seriously. All ya'll comparing this forum to all the other forums online and saying "JUB isn't as bad." That is not helpful.

    It is the online equivalent of parents telling their kids there are starving people in Africa.

    While starvation is a tragedy the fact that Africa is in peril is not going to make me like brussel sprouts any more than I did before.

    Just like saying other forums are worse is not going to make those of us who frequent THIS SITE like the drama any better.

    This isn't other forums. It's JUB.
    What I'm saying is that what constitutes drama here is almost nothing. And it is. If someone wants to get bent out of shape and say they can barely get up in the morning because of how mean JUB is I can't possibly take that seriously as a reflection of how bad JUB actually is as much as someone is way oversensitive.

    Yes, if someone really thinks it's that bad.. they should never go anywhere else. This is a really really really nice place on the net by comparison. Yes, comparisons are valid.

  24. #274
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by stacy View Post
    Judgmental people are so unattractive.
    Frankly, so are people who enter discussions and tell people what not to discuss.

  25. #275
    Shy-ster justanothershyguy's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Ooh ooh! Me me me! Pick me!
    Author of Lost in a Dream. If you want to make me smile, read it and tell me what you think.

  26. #276

    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    ^^^

    Pix of kids not allowed in JUB.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  27. #277
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    ^^^

    Pix of kids not allowed in JUB.
    Oops! My bad. I'll fix it. Oops. Can't fix it. What do I do, ask a mod to?

  28. #278
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    No sweat buzzer, I sent a note for you.

    btw, that lower left corner..the first icon lets you leave a personal comment to the poster.

    the triangle one lets you report a post...simple, clean. Don't sweat it, The ivory tower won't

    bust your balls over honest mistakes and those oopsie moments. (believe me, I have had

    a lot of experience) Just give them a heads up and if you aren't a flagrant violater they will

    wipe up behind you. Sometimes they even say thanks (well, that part is hearsay) lol


    rammers, you could have just told the poor boy in a comment or omg a p/m.

    You are now sentenced to 72 hours under lilbit (that is 1,440 minutes each day)

    wearing only stale olive oil and nipple rings as your penance. damn bully...the island

    must be getting to you...lol
    Last edited by Lefty; December 31st, 2012 at 12:28 AM.

  29. #279
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    No sweat buzzer, I sent a note for you.

    btw, that lower left corner..the first icon lets you leave a personal comment to the poster.

    the triangle one lets you report a post...simple, clean. Don't sweat it, The ivory tower won't

    bust your balls over honest mistakes and those oopsie moments. (believe me, I have had

    a lot of experience) Just give them a heads up and if you aren't a flagrant violater they will

    wipe up behind you. Sometimes they even say thanks (well, that part is hearsay) lol
    Good to know. I have a pretty good speculation as to why there is a no kids pics rule here but hopefully it's pretty clear my intent wasn't pornographic lol.

  30. #280
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Yeah being a Gay semi porno and international site the main office gets a bit paranoid. But.

    its' corporate safe sex. Lots of stupids out there just looking for the least provocation.

    ok, this started out 10 pages ago as therapy for my NJ bud Fuji...so he could blow off shit

    before entering the front lines...amazing how many jumped on the train...

    thats good, shows Fuji and us we are not alone and then some....

  31. #281
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    Yeah being a Gay semi porno and international site the main office gets a bit paranoid. But.

    its' corporate safe sex. Lots of stupids out there just looking for the least provocation.

    ok, this started out 10 pages ago as therapy for my NJ bud Fuji...so he could blow off shit

    before entering the front lines...amazing how many jumped on the train...

    thats good, shows Fuji and us we are not alone and then some....
    .... is that your third avatar today?

  32. #282
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Yes, it probably is. Don Quixote and the incredibly sexy Mistress eJMichaels
    used to make this old dumbasses avatars and siggys...after much pestering
    from me over the ages they decided I WOULD LEARN to make my own.

    So I am practicing. Some are a little xxxier than others so if I am going
    into SFOW territory, I change. Its good practice for now and I do have my
    3 favorites...one is a drawing shi tzu tylenol did for me, the black horse and
    the morphing priest horse. BTW, I talk a lot sometimes...

  33. #283
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    Yes, it probably is. Don Quixote and the incredibly sexy Mistress eJMichaels
    used to make this old dumbasses avatars and siggys...after much pestering
    from me over the ages they decided I WOULD LEARN to make my own.

    So I am practicing. Some are a little xxxier than others so if I am going
    into SFOW territory, I change. Its good practice for now and I do have my
    3 favorites...one is a drawing shi tzu tylenol did for me, the black horse and
    the morphing priest horse. BTW, I talk a lot sometimes...
    What was your first one today? Was it a swimmer with nothing but his penis sticking out? It was amusing.

  34. #284
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Actually not a swimmer but yes, he had a penis... see?

  35. #285
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    Actually not a swimmer but yes, he had a penis... see?
    That's the one. I like it. lol.

  36. #286
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    I am sick of my current date omg ....why does he need validation????

  37. #287
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by cgymike View Post
    I am sick of my current date omg ....why does he need validation????
    He hates paying for parking I guess?

  38. #288
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    oh mikey, be careful....

    this guy has a wit...

    and some quick answers.

  39. #289
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Sounds like my Hunty bud has a problem....

    Okay dude, you want to bleed a bit...

    see if someone has a tourniquet?


  40. #290
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Dear Refuji,

    I am glad that your psychiatrist appointment is not too far off. Give it your best shot, because you seem to recognize that you will need outside help to handle your inner turmoil.

    From reading your posts I sense this. You are a young, intelligent, black gay man, but inside you are two different persons emotionally. The one "you" is a positive person, calm, friendly, likeable, rational, at peace with himself and the world. The other "you" is a negative person, stressed out, angry, in physical and emotional pain, unpleasant, unable to cope with himslf or his surroundings.

    Of course you want the positive person in you to be the operative one, but what triggers the appearance of the negative Refuji? The trigger seems to me to be stresses that are more than you can handle. Everybody encounters stress in his life. It is how those stresses are handled that makes the difference. It may be that something in your past life has hindered or seriously damaged your stress-coping mechanisms. Does that make sense and seem possible?

    I think you should seize on the upcoming psychiatrist sessions to delve into the conflict between the postive Refuji and the destructive, negative Refuji to discover how that conflict can be resolved through the weakening or elimination of the negative thing living inside you.

    You expressed (in #456 above) some negativity about the psychiatric session scheduled for January 17th. This is not a good frame of mind to approach it with, since you admit that you can't do alone what needs to be done to make your view of life better. The session will undoubtedly be stressful for you ... and that would be a perfect opportunity for the negative, self-destructive Refuji to come out and take over. When you feel that happening, you should stop and say directly to the psychiatrist, "This is not the me I want to be. What you see and hear is how I react to stress, and that is what I want to change." Don't let the negative Refuji prevent you from getting the help you want and that he doesn't want you to have.

    I can't tell you how you should cope with stress except to say that the way you have learned is the wrong way. It produces rage, pain, hatred, and even more stress. I hope the psychiatrist will give you some help in that area. That's his job.

    A lot of us are wishing you success in this. Go get 'em, guy!

  41. #291
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    oh mikey, be careful....

    this guy has a wit...

    and some quick answers.
    Validation may be the wrong word because I said "You are correct. But I heard what you said the first time and I also said you were right the first time you said it"

    Maybe it's an expired bus pass deal...

    But the truth is : A movie starting at 7:45 PM will not start until 8:00 PM

    But he was wrong ...previews ended at 8:11

    I guess I could have been mean and said "you were wrong"

    Wit? No...he doesn't have that much. But maybe it can be all be subsumed under humour.

    One thing I could NEVER accuse him of is complementing someone

    9 dates...ZERO complements (let's see...I got a new job in that time, scored great on a qualification test, made some great biscuits for thanksgiblets dinner etc)

    If he was a balance sheet it would have NO credit side only debits.

    Yes sir there's a dude living in the moment (huge sarcasm in that comment)....he NEVER says "I thought you said" "you told me" etc...gee those phrases are never in his vocabulary....

    OMG...yes you DID say that in the 18th minute of our fourth date when you folded the napkin at Rubio's restaurant and a speck of dust fell on the southeast quadrant of the table illuminated by 18.8 candlepowers of light and the women next to us said " and Mary had 14 minutes last year on the 23rd of her best month which is June..."

    "The Power of Now" reads "The Power of identic memory applied to the almost now"

    Ever met anyone like that Lefty?

  42. #292
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    I received a hot and steamy PM from a JUBber, who asked me to please respond in kind. So I did...only to find that he has "reached his capacity on his PM mailbox". #firstworldproblems

    Lex

  43. #293
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Sadly yes Michael.

    An older intimate (as he chose) cousin I

    stayed with one early puberty stricken summer.

    Fab looks, Build to include Hung, Brilliant.

    If it wasn't in the privacy of HIS barn loft
    and his schedule, it just didn't happen.

    Other than those 'instructional times' and his physical attributes

    he could easily have been the Sheldon Character on

    The Big Bang Theory

    Pedantic starts the supercilious guys identification.

  44. #294
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Okay Jason...

    When you've calmed down and done your breathing exercise,

    You can tell Uncle Lefty what crawled up yoour leg and bit your

    bigger gonad. Here or p/m...just to vent or want to talk or

    need another point of view....I'll be around neighbor.

  45. #295
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    all right, it's 6 o clock in the morning out here in the jerz. happy new years to everybody first off. second off, i know i should be in bed BUT i have something to get off my chest.

    next year around this time, i will be out of the closet to my homeboy as i am already to my brother. i will be out to more people. that is a goal i have for this year. i was hoping to come out to him last year but plans change. i also have to say that i am now either growing up or just had it up to here with the bullshit.

    next year, i do NOT plan on going out on new years or better yet if i do, i'm going to a gay club. that's no question. when i went to that club, i realized how much of a mistake that i made. what the hell was i doing that? i'm gay. of course, i wasn't going to have a good time. i should be at a place with guys like me. i saw like two cute guys and when i was waiting to the bathroom, this guy accidently pushed his crotch against my ass. right now, i should be in bed with a guy or a guy who i call my boyfriend enjoying my L-I-F-E. why was i there? i also realized how stupid it was and how stupid new years is. people are happy that they lived to see another year. i now am happy to live to see another day and this morning showed me that. you had a bunch of people that were acting crazy and some of them got really shitfaced. my brother and my homeboy got drunk BUT i didn't. i didn't want to get drunk because i didn't feel like following along what everybody else was doing. i don't like the feeling of being drunk or intoxicated. i also didn't want to be one of those people that i saw ready to start a fight or being unable to stand up where someone or the police was trying to talk sense into them.

    but yeah, new york most definitely ain't safe as it's cracked up to be nowadays. i saw like three fights. one of them almost turned into a gunfight. my homeboy did the stupidest thing and i'm really disappointed at him for doing this. this is why i didn't drink like that and i don't understand why people do it. we pass by these projects and a fight breaks down between these group of people. they start scuffling, swinging on each other and next thing you know, someone pulls out a gun and starts shooting into the air. that's the first time i ever seen someone fire a gun in front of me. it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be shockingly. the shots weren't loud loud either at least to me. surprisingly, most people weren't freaking out, much rather standing around. my homeboy, must have been because he was drunk, was standing there when it all happened, trying to do some matrix shit. i'm trying to get him to move away from the gunfire and he's just standing there. he's lucky that the commotion didn't go in our direction where whoever was shooting shot in our direction. dude talks about he was going to hide behind a car as if the bullets couldn't ricohet and hit him. man........... i'm a bit pissed off with him @ the fact that dude could have got himself, me or both of us injured or killed doing something stupid like that. even if he was drunk, that was stupid to stand there when something like that happened. he was joking about it afterwards but i didn't think that was funny. much rather stupid. then my brother and my homeboy both were talking shit, acting a fool and these other drunk idiots passed by us ready to fight somebody. my brother and my homeboy start talking shit about them and the drunk idiots that passed us overheard it so they start getting upset. my brother and my homeboy talk shit back and i find myself in the mix with a situation ready to pop off.

    you know, i was miserable already from the jump before i even left the house because i wasn't feeling too good. my brother was forming the ass getting outside the house where we arrived at the club fairly late. i was trying to get there early BUT my brother decided to do some bullshit. i also had my mother when i was telling my brother off jumping on my case telling me to stop arguing with him. basically, i was dealing with a lot of bullshit AND i was having people around me telling me to tolerate it. well, i'm tired of that shit. i love my family and my friends but at the same time, i'm beginning to look at myself more and care. i don't want to get drunk, i want to come out the closet, i don't want to pretend that i am no longer in pain, and basically i don't want to live my life around what other people want me to do or want me to be. i want to live life how i want. my homeboy tells me to be positive instead of being negative. he's right BUT @ the same time, i feel that the things that are in my environment being pushed on to me is negative anyways. so it's time i man up and walk away from it.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  46. #296
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    get job for some coin and self esteem....
    entry level in the work force is okay...you got cycled
    into fast food and stopped for a while...now, try
    something different, Labour is not demeaning...
    you in fairly good shape?...warehouse
    grunt or bargain hardware store clerk. Hell, even
    WalMart pays a pretty good start. It isn't going to
    be your life...but it will get you started.

    dr appt for a professional ear. Tell the white coat you
    really don't want chemicals you want to walk not float.

    Then ask if/how he can help. Your last post shows some
    signs man....but you gotta take the steps.

    Shit man, I'm sorry...always sounds like I'm lecturing.
    Last edited by Lefty; January 1st, 2013 at 04:45 AM.

  47. #297
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    get job for some coin and self esteem....
    entry level in the work force is okay...you got cycled
    into fast food and stopped for a while...now, try
    something different, Labour is not demeaning...
    you in fairly good shape?...warehouse
    grunt or bargain hardware store clerk. Hell, even
    WalMart pays a pretty good start. It isn't going to
    be your life...but it will get you started.

    dr appt for a professional ear. Tell the white coat you
    really don't want chemicals you want to walk not float.

    Then ask if/how he can help. Your last post shows some
    signs man....but you gotta take the steps.

    Shit man, I'm sorry...always sounds like I'm lecturing.
    no need to apologize. you don't sound like you're lecturing at all.

    i do need a job. trying to learn how to manage my funds. make a dollar out of 15 cents. wasted a lot of money on bs with the last job i had. also need to get cracking with the whole law school thing for next year.

    i actually set up an appointment last month with a psychiatrist to meet up on january 17th.

    it's time to take control of my l-i-f-e.

    looking back at what mr. rochester said yesterday, he hit the nail on the head. last night, i was being extremely negative and debbie downish. came in with a negative attitude and etc because i was stressed out with the fact that i was doing something that i didn't want to do. instead of just staying home or having the balls to say to my homeboy and my brother, "i'm gay so i'm going to a gay bar". i decided to make their trip and mine as miserable as possible by complaining and etc. i just was afraid to be open about it and to allow myself to be free instead of storing everything up. i know that coming out is a wonderful feeling. i also am reminded whenever i'm with my homeboy or someone that doesn't know that i'm gay but thinks i'm straight, it's a horrible feeling.

    this year, i HAVE to come out to my homeboy. i plan on going to the gay pride parade. i plan on being out to more people and i don't care what my family thinks. my mom doesn't want me to tell anybody and neither does my brother. the thing i feel that it's holding me back from doing the thing that i want to do. i can't take being in fear anymore. i wanted to be in a gay club grinding to some guys or have some guys grinding on me. dance to whatever and etc. fuck being in some straight club where there's 300 people in a room designated for 100 people. i will NEVER do that again.

    i want to thank lefty, johannbessler, and mr. rochester for giving me advice and looking out for me. i love you guys.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  48. #298

    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    Yes Refuji - it's good you're getting help. Like JohanB said, don't over do it, or this will be your phase 2:



    I've actually noticed a lot of progress with you so far, on your own. I think with guidance, you'll do great.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  49. #299
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    I can't claim to know Refuji well but I do definitely think he seems more settled and such than when I first got here to JUB.

  50. #300
    Sex God MrRochesterNY's Avatar
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    Re: just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

    I love the way Refuji writes when he is not stressed out. He can handle language better than many people can today. He may have the makings of a good lawyer or a writer. I hope he gets the chance to grow his talents and become the person that he wants to be.

    Hoping for the best for a very likable guy who deserves better than he has gotten in the past. May 2013 be the best year yet for our Refujiunderground.
    Last edited by MrRochesterNY; January 1st, 2013 at 01:09 PM.

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