i'm beginning to realize that if you're happy and content with the way the world is where you think it's "beautiful" then you truly are living under a rock. even if i didn't have depression or any of those other mental issues, i would be just as depressed, angry and upset hearing and looking at the people around me who seem to be full of hate and don't realize the PAIN that they cause other people. when you ask questions wondering why they're doing what they're doing, are paranoid, get upset and angry about the things around you, they say that you're crazy or have a mental illness. isn't it natural to have emotions? would i be offended if i see someone or am getting mistreated? would i get mad if i'm being dissed and insulted? you know, i'm just so sick of hearing people saying to take it and embrace the fucked up ness of what's going on as if it's right when it's NOT. in no way am i saying to be angry and etc BUT damn, any damn person with a working and active brain couldn't be happy or for that matter, comfortable with the way things are right now. to think that crimes against humanity back in the past was seen as normal such as slavery and the nuclear bomb dropping on japan. sorry but i have a conscience and it's just disgusting to see how some people don't have any and think that what they're doing is absolutely normal. just had to vent real quick.
i don't want to be judgemental but the moment, i see some people and get that vibe that they have that same jackass mentality, i tend to avoid them. it's that i don't want to be disappointed again. don't get me wrong. nobody is perfect BUT damn, some people just overdo it and they can't see that they're ignorant or how they're hurting other people through their ignorance. you just wonder why they're so upset or why they hate gay people or why they hate white people or why they hate black people and feel the way they do about someone else where they want to bully this person or hate this person. it's disgusting and sometimes, i really feel like smacking the shit out of them but i don't have the power or the right to do that to anybody. if someone wants to feel that way, they're only hurting themselves. it's disgusting to hear what happened to the guy in manhattan that got his head blown off by that asshole. you know, as much as it's good to see folks come together and realize their mortality and other people's mortality at times like this where people get murdered regardless of who they are whether their kids or the elderly and etc. as time goes by, the gay community will still be just as divided as anywhere else where you'll have gay people warring with other gay people while @ the same time, we're going to war with a world full of homophobes. folks don't have to like each other but damn, show some respect. it's disgusting to see that even in the lgbt community, we have an internal war going on with each other and it takes something like this to bring people together to make them realize that homophobia is still a problem and hasn't gone away. it's as if folks think because there's a few gay people being able to make the tv and aren't getting shitting on on the airwaves that everything is okay. it's still not okay. folks are getting a bit too comfortable as if things have completely made a 180 when it's not even close.