just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[G-Lexington]

I usually wake up around 6am. Not planned - it just happens.

Lex

[G-Lexington]

A couple years back, I decided to film an It Gets Better video. I thought most of them I'd seen up to that point were powerful, but weren't very visually interesting. So I thought I'd try to change that by filming in several locations, starting at my old high school and ending in a group of supportive people. After mulling over the last shot (and the difficulty of getting a ton of people together just to stand near me for a video), I decided to enlist some help.

I asked a local band if I could "co-opt their crowd". I asked if I could film the last few sentences of my video on stage at their next concert, end with me saying "It gets better", have the crowd cheer, and then fade out. The band was really cool and said yes, and helped make it happen. It wasn't a huge crowd - maybe a hundred - but it worked out pretty well, other than being really damn dark. I then introduced the band, and they began playing.

The band's name was Churchill. They've since signed to a label, they're touring the US, and their first single "Change" is climbing the charts. Best of luck to them, and wishing them all the success in the world.



Lex

[refujiunderground]

A couple years back, I decided to film an It Gets Better video. I thought most of them I'd seen up to that point were powerful, but weren't very visually interesting. So I thought I'd try to change that by filming in several locations, starting at my old high school and ending in a group of supportive people. After mulling over the last shot (and the difficulty of getting a ton of people together just to stand near me for a video), I decided to enlist some help.

I asked a local band if I could "co-opt their crowd". I asked if I could film the last few sentences of my video on stage at their next concert, end with me saying "It gets better", have the crowd cheer, and then fade out. The band was really cool and said yes, and helped make it happen. It wasn't a huge crowd - maybe a hundred - but it worked out pretty well, other than being really damn dark. I then introduced the band, and they began playing.

The band's name was Churchill. They've since signed to a label, they're touring the US, and their first single "Change" is climbing the charts. Best of luck to them, and wishing them all the success in the world.



Lex

congratulations to them. lex, you're a known celebrity in colorado but you're humble so you're keeping it on the low. i heard about you.

but i'll get something off my chest. i'm in a bad mood over something personal which has nothing to do with the members on here. at this point however, i feel like taking out my anger on anybody on here preferably somebody that wants drama, has a problem with me or has pissed me off at some point. i'm going to try my hardest to simply not post if i continue to feel like this until i feel better. i'm not going to argue or go back in forth with anybody that pisses me off on here.

okay done.

[BENDERBOY]

God, it's so fucking cold.

[EuroSoccer]

God, it's so fucking cold.

Better?

[refujiunderground]

God, it's so fucking cold.

thought you guys were used to that type of weather over on the other side of the atlantic?

[Huntneo(PT)]

but i'll get something off my chest. i'm in a bad mood over something personal which has nothing to do with the members on here. at this point however, i feel like taking out my anger on anybody on here preferably somebody that wants drama, has a problem with me or has pissed me off at some point. i'm going to try my hardest to simply not post if i continue to feel like this until i feel better. i'm not going to argue or go back in forth with anybody that pisses me off on here.

okay done.

wow. Well, just talk about it.

We're here to listen (well...read). Who knows? it may be something some of us have dealt with/are dealing with. So just toss it out there.

[G-Lexington]

Or we can vote on which JUBber gets your wrath today. Either/or.

Lex

[borg69unimatrix]

God, it's so fucking cold.

Don't look down.

[refujiunderground]

wow. Well, just talk about it.

We're here to listen (well...read). Who knows? it may be something some of us have dealt with/are dealing with. So just toss it out there.

naw, i'll just keep it to myself. i appreciate you guys listening and all but it's just one of those things that can't be fixed regardless. same shit, different day. it is what it is.

Or we can vote on which JUBber gets your wrath today. Either/or.

Lex

naw, not going to do that either now.

[xbuzzerx]

watch @ 0:28 Refuji!

[refujiunderground]

watch @ 0:28 Refuji!

you're most definitely right about that but what's the point in saying something where you know what the response is going to be.

okay, didn't want to say it BUT okay..... i'm depressed again and have been so for awhile. it's one of those strong depression episodes too. the "feel like crying but the tears won't come out. i hate myself and i want to die." the thing that's annoying is complaining about it knowing that nothing's going to come of it. it's irritating where i just feel like shutting up and keeping it to myself. there's some things that are bothering me as well BUT i i won't elaborate on are kind is making me feel even worse than i feel already. i feel like shit and putting those issues into the mix, it just makes me feel worse. i hate being depressed and not being able to hide it. it would be cool to simply brush everything under the rug and pretend that this shit doesn't exists BUT it does and it's very real.

what's weird is that although the zoloft is working towards the ocd and some of the anxiety. it's not working towards the depression. it's supposed to be like 6 weeks til it's supposed to kick in to show it's full effects at least that's what i'm being told but it feels like hell though. i don't know what it is that's making me feel like total shit. i'm exercising. i'm trying to stay positive BUT damn... it's really hitting me up right now. i would say that it's because i'm stressed out, i'm running out of cash, i have things to do or whatever BUT it's just me and my brain, i guess because i certainly wasn't feeling this way about 2 months ago. i was hopeful, feeling happy and i could live with these issues. now it's the total opposite. if this continues up, i'm going to tell the shrink and i also next week am going to confront the intake worker about the individual therapy because she hasn't got at me with that yet. she's basically playing games. she's trying to play me for a fool or something. not having that.

[G-Lexington]

Why do you think your intake worker is playing games, or playing you for a fool? It may be she forgot or something, but I doubt she's deliberately fucking with you.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Why do you think your intake worker is playing games, or playing you for a fool? It may be she forgot or something, but I doubt she's deliberately fucking with you.

Lex

she was supposed to call me back about a month ago about having individual therapy. the agreement was that i was going to go to the shrink, take the group therapy and she would see about the individual therapy for me and let me know about what happened to the individual therapy thing. this was back at the top of december. i went over to the shrink and brought the individual therapy thing to her since i wanted to take cognitive behavior therapy about the ocd thing from somebody along with the meds. she said that she didn't know what the deal with that was so she called her and wasn't able to reach her. the shrink then told me to talk to the group therapy counselor about it since he could put me on to it. i talked to the group therapy counselor about it and he told me to get a referral from the shrink. they're giving me the run around. it would have been one thing if she called me back about the individual therapy thing and said that they couldn't do it but she didn't call me period so yeah.. i think something is up.

my guess is that they were like "the group sessions will work for him. let him take the meds and do that". naw, it's not going down like that. she said it's my treatment so yeah, i want the full benefits of it. they're not going to toss me to the dogs because they feel like it. i know how the system is already. they're basically trying to cut corners with the one size fits all and toss everybody in a group to save their workload and because of they're not getting paid like that to help. i'll try to work with a group and take the meds but i also want to talk with a counselor as well since there's some things that i can't say in a group. not about to be played out for some regular case while some meds kick my ass.

to tell you the truth, the fact that she didn't make the effort to call me back actually discouraged me towards going to the group therapy. i haven't been there in 2 weeks. i plan on going there next week BUT i'm calling her to ask her about the individual therapy.

[Lefty]

Really Sethbert,

Really Really?

Colder than this?


I mean like



Really.........Really?

Really Sethbert?

===============LOL==============

[refujiunderground]

Really Sethbert,

Really Really?

Colder than this?




I mean like



Really.........Really?

Really Sethbert?

===============LOL==============

oh my god, who is that?

left a message on the intake person's voice message machine talking to her about the situation. hopefully, she calls me back.

[RazorzEdge88]

I finally saw Boogie Nights the other night.

To my shock, this song appeared nowhere in the movie:



I felt so ripped off.

[refujiunderground]

I finally saw Boogie Nights the other night.

To my shock, this song appeared nowhere in the movie:



I felt so ripped off.

why???????? it's just a song.

[G-Lexington]

Because "Boogie Nights" is always the best in town.

Lex

[RazorzEdge88]

Oh refuji, you don't understand the mind of an aspie.

It just has to be in that movie. It's CALLED Boogie Nights.

[JohannBessler]

I finally saw Boogie Nights the other night.

To my shock, this song appeared nowhere in the movie:



I felt so ripped off.

I remember Boogie Nights as being the most accurate depiction of the 1970s that I have ever seen.

For youth culture, Fast Times at Ridgemont High gets that distinction.

[RazorzEdge88]

Most people were porn stars back then?

[eastofeden]

I remember Boogie Nights as being the most accurate depiction of the 1970s that I have ever seen.

For youth culture, Fast Times at Ridgemont High gets that distinction.

Not for me...Tales of the City is dead on...at least for San Francisco.... in the 70s.

[G-Lexington]

Oh refuji, you don't understand the mind of an aspie.

It just has to be in that movie. It's CALLED Boogie Nights.

I'm nothing near an aspie, and even *I* thought it should be in there.

Lex

[JohannBessler]

@Razzie: ^haha, no.

We lived in houses that looked like that, we dressed like that, we watched movies like that. In particular, the change in technology mirrored the change in technology depicted in the movie very closely.

We had to watch our porn in seedy, dirty bookstores. The 8mm film clips played on a rotating loop. You put in 25c for two or three minutes of show.

Then I remember the excitement when they came out with something called...what was it? Oh. Videotapes. How much more versatile they were! It revolutionized the porn industry.

The pop culture references were dead-on, too, the hairstyles, the music. Very accurate.

[JohannBessler]

Razzie, one thing that sticks out in my mind is how difficult porn was to obtain in those days. You either had to go to the bookstores, or do without.

Nowadays, the porn comes to us, the moment you turn on the computer you get bombarded with it.

[xbuzzerx]

@Razzie: ^haha, no.

We lived in houses that looked like that, we dressed like that, we watched movies like that. In particular, the change in technology mirrored the change in technology depicted in the movie very closely.

We had to watch our porn in seedy, dirty bookstores. The 8mm film clips played on a rotating loop. You put in 25c for two or three minutes of show.

Then I remember the excitement when they came out with something called...what was it? Oh. Videotapes. How much more versatile they were! It revolutionized the porn industry.

The pop culture references were dead-on, too, the hairstyles, the music. Very accurate.

What did they provide you for um.... cleanliness?

[JohannBessler]

^Nothing.

You either brought your own tissues, or you spilled your seed onto the floor, or into someone's mouth on the other side of the hole.

[maxpowr9]

Boston isn't full of Irish mobsters. Italians are another story courtesy of our instituted mayor. My dad used to tell me of the Irish vs Italian Catholic fights back in the 70s. There is a reason there are two ghettos in Boston for each nationality.

[RazorzEdge88]

^So first I learn that Boogie Nights was accurate, and now you're telling me Boondock Saints was too?

What other insane 90's movies were reflections of real life? Jurassic Park?

[loki81]

^So first I learn that Boogie Nights was accurate, and now you're telling me Boondock Saints was too?

What other insane 90's movies were reflections of real life? Jurassic Park?

[frankfrank]

she was supposed to call me back about a month ago about having individual therapy.

All this time, I thought you were seeing an individual therapst. Group therapy does NOT work well when the individual has complex issues. I hope that you don't have to wait much longer at all for the individual therapy which, after all, you went to seek out. Somebody is trying to cut costs or something.

[refujiunderground]

All this time, I thought you were seeing an individual therapst. Group therapy does NOT work well when the individual has complex issues. I hope that you don't have to wait much longer at all for the individual therapy which, after all, you went to seek out. Somebody is trying to cut costs or something.

exactly, they're trying to be slick BUT being slick only goes so far. hopefully, she calls me back tomorrow and if i don't hear from her next week, i'll go to somebody else in the department. not for any of this game playing that they're doing because it seems like three people coming up with three different stories

[borg69unimatrix]

^So first I learn that Boogie Nights was accurate, and now you're telling me Boondock Saints was too?

What other insane 90's movies were reflections of real life? Jurassic Park?

OMG I loved this movie!!!

[maxpowr9]

All this time, I thought you were seeing an individual therapst. Group therapy does NOT work well when the individual has complex issues. I hope that you don't have to wait much longer at all for the individual therapy which, after all, you went to seek out. Somebody is trying to cut costs or something.

Agree. Group therapy is more to help the individual cope with anxiety issues, AA/drug rehab. I used to help facilitate an LGBT teen therapy group with my roomie and it is the same reason why I avoid the "coming out" section of the forum. Same problems ad nauseum and not willing to absolve their issues.

[JohannBessler]

All this time, I thought you were seeing an individual therapst. Group therapy does NOT work well when the individual has complex issues. I hope that you don't have to wait much longer at all for the individual therapy which, after all, you went to seek out. Somebody is trying to cut costs or something.

RJ, I couldn't agree with Frankfrank more.

In fact, I think I will up the ante. I think group therapy works for very few individuals.

[BENDERBOY]

Thankfully i don't know how to get hold of a gun.

[JohannBessler]

^Benderboy, hearing you say that disturbs me. It sounds like you have begun to show signs of clinical depression.

The medical profession sees depression as a most serious illness. However, in most cases, it responds quite readily to treatment.

If you feel like you want to talk about it, you have a willing ear. I lost my best friend to suicide in 1993, and have resolved to help--as much as I can--anybody else who suffers from that condition.

[BENDERBOY]

Who said anything about suicide.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

I think he meant he wants to shot some one on jub LOL

[BENDERBOY]

I think he meant he wants to shot some one on jub LOL

I know you meant that as a joke, but nothing could be further from the truth.

[sixthson]

Aren't you sorry you brought it up now?

[BENDERBOY]

Aren't you sorry you brought it up now?

No, better out than in. (no pun intended)

[maxpowr9]

^Benderboy, hearing you say that disturbs me. It sounds like you have begun to show signs of clinical depression.

The medical profession sees depression as a most serious illness. However, in most cases, it responds quite readily to treatment.

If you feel like you want to talk about it, you have a willing ear. I lost my best friend to suicide in 1993, and have resolved to help--as much as I can--anybody else who suffers from that condition.

Stop being a white knight. Seriously.

[Anders123]

What other insane 90's movies were reflections of real life? Jurassic Park?

Speaking of which, I recall reading not long ago that the fourth installation of the series is in the works. The movies have been getting progressively worse since the first one, but I still absolutely love all of them. I'm genuinely excited for the next one.

I fucking LOVE dinosaurs.

[dereperez]

^Nothing.

You either brought your own tissues, or you spilled your seed onto the floor, or into someone's mouth on the other side of the hole.

How romantic.

[JohannBessler]

Stop being a white knight. Seriously.

I can't help it, Max.

Speaking honestly, I don't really want to change that part of me, anyway. Gay and lesbians have among the highest rates of suicide among all the various demographics.

If we don't help them, who will?

[JohannBessler]

Who said anything about suicide.

Benderboy, the underlying message of your post seemed obvious.

A man sings of pulling the trigger against his head; another man says,"Thank God I can't easily find a gun"?

[Anders123]

How dare you reach out in support of others? You monster!

[JohannBessler]

@Mr. Sutterthwaite: I feel great. Thanks for asking.