just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[loki81]

Loki, I'll give you the advice that would be my immediate, consistent reaction to this scenario, and I think should especially be so given that this guy is sorta sidelining you a bit:

Just say no. You don't have to be hostile about it, but just say no, sorry, I scheduled around the original time and if you have another date that night we can just cancel.

Then see what he does. To me the reaction at that point would be critical as to whether or not I completely cut the guy loose.

If you go along with it you're just willingly being a doormat and you'll get treated like one.

oh, for sure. already done... we had planned on Friday, but when he asked to reschedule our dinner/drinks/night out date into a quick drink after work, I gave him a pretty vague "nah, maybe next week."

[JP.]

Ugh, I hate ass pics when they're gaping wide open.

Lex

I think the last ass pic you complain was frm rareboy, i forgot from what thread..it was ..
indeed, the flattest ass ever

[Lefty]

Damn Lex...

Had no idea that would offend you...

He was supposed to be in lieu of a boring lol.

Here try these and LOL while you're at it...

[JohannBessler]

Oh, ^good gracious, who's the guy at the top with the bubble butt?

[G-Lexington]

Oh, ^good gracious, who's the guy at the top with the bubble butt?

Who is he? "Mine". That's an ass I could spend a good hour or two on.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

zoloft can't hold me back. zoloft can't hold me back. zoloft can't hold me back.

i jerked off just now which makes it twice today. i jerked off twice. first time, i was able to jerk off in less than 30 minutes. second time, it took about 2 hours. that's the typical time for me. thank you zoloft for not stopping me from playing with myself. I WIN!!!! i remember on sunday or monday, forgot which day, i was crying about not being able to get it up and bust off. but damn.... the male stripper and the body building working out in the jockstrap did it. don't think i'm going to do it anymore today. that's enough. tomorrow, i'm going to get it off to some porn. it's been awhile. maybe a week or two since i busted off to some gay porn. haven't seen a few interesting porns out. will download and make space for the other porns i have but weren't able to get off to.

[refujiunderground]

Oh, ^good gracious, who's the guy at the top with the bubble butt?

first guy's ass is cute. the second one, i want to lick it down and bite.

[ixthrock]

The first guy looks like a gecko, the way he's climbing that cabinet.

[G-Lexington]

The first guy looks like a gecko, the way he's climbing that cabinet.

And I'd totally climb on top of him.

i jerked off just now which makes it twice today. i jerked off twice. first time, i was able to jerk off in less than 30 minutes. second time, it took about 2 hours. that's the typical time for me.

I'm getting to the point where I'm wanting to watch your jerk-off sessions. Not for salacious reasons - OK, not for completely salacious reasons - but because they sound almost clinical now. It almost sounds like a psychological/sexual research project.

I jerked off early this morning, when I woke up really early. I thought about a guy I think is pretty hot, and whom I've exchanged some words with. I built a longish scenario involving him and me wasting a day together in a large hotel room, and it was a damn enjoyable ride. But I only think it took fifteen minutes.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

And I'd totally climb on top of him.



I'm getting to the point where I'm wanting to watch your jerk-off sessions. Not for salacious reasons - OK, not for completely salacious reasons - but because they sound almost clinical now. It almost sounds like a psychological/sexual research project.

I jerked off early this morning, when I woke up really early. I thought about a guy I think is pretty hot, and whom I've exchanged some words with. I built a longish scenario involving him and me wasting a day together in a large hotel room, and it was a damn enjoyable ride. But I only think it took fifteen minutes.

Lex

Maybe we should work out some kind of royalty deal for this kind of action.

[G-Lexington]

Maybe we should work out some kind of royalty deal for this kind of action.

Bust-a-Nut Enterprises?

Lex

[The Fly]

The first guy looks like a gecko, the way he's climbing that cabinet.

"The way he's climbing that cabinet", was the first thing I noticed as well.....

[refujiunderground]

And I'd totally climb on top of him.



I'm getting to the point where I'm wanting to watch your jerk-off sessions. Not for salacious reasons - OK, not for completely salacious reasons - but because they sound almost clinical now. It almost sounds like a psychological/sexual research project.

I jerked off early this morning, when I woke up really early. I thought about a guy I think is pretty hot, and whom I've exchanged some words with. I built a longish scenario involving him and me wasting a day together in a large hotel room, and it was a damn enjoyable ride. But I only think it took fifteen minutes.

Lex

well, that would be interesting. that sounds like a good idea. how would you go about the experiment though?


speaking of masturbation, when i don't do it, i experience things like withdrawals, get really moody and angry. i'll even say that when i didn't do it, it's what kicked my ocd in full swing. remember it like yesterday, it was january of 2001, wasn't masturbating at all-a self imposed ban, was going through this issue at school with some guy who i was cool with who also trying to try me on some bully bs. one minute, he was trying to be my friend and the next minute, he was trying to be all aggressive with me. between that, not masturbating, having a crush on this guy in the same grade as me where he had class across from me , trying to get interested in girls where i can start dating, get laid with a woman, being in denial of my orientation (it really wasn't bothering me that much to tell you the truth at that moment) and etc, it just caused great anxiety where i started to look at the clock and some thought popped up my head. then it just clicked and i've been fucked up ever since.

i honestly believe that if i had just masturbated like i should have, i would have been better off.

[Lefty]

@The Fly...

really?

funny, it was his climbing gear that drew me.

[dereperez]

I came down with the flu...

[sixthson]

Refuji, you know I think you are a good man. I hate psychobabble and I hate playing arm chair shrink, but let me say this about your masturbation: I suspect it is one of the few places in your life you feel you have control. You feel controlled by your family because you are dependent on them. You feel you have no control without a job. I think masturbation provides you with an escape from thinking about not having control and and your loneliness. If you are masturbating, you are not dwelling on all that is wrong in your life. It also provides you with pleasure and relief and you probably have very little of that. You are not free to fully enjoy the friendships in your life with the people you love because you can't fully be yourself. The fact that you tend to be so open and honest with us here only reminds you that you are not that way in real life. You will get there.

As an adult, I can now look back on my childhood and better understand some of the things I did as a boy. Long before puberty, I used masturbation to help me feel better about the hell we lived in. For those few minutes of escape, I could forget about it all. If I was alone or singing or pleasuring myself, I felt good. Kind of like the escape of a pleasant dream rather than the usual nightmare.
Or like getting lost in a good book. After puberty, I began to realize I had attractions that were not "normal". Masturbation was not only a way to express my sexuality but it was a source of deep guilt. Because I did it so much, I felt guilty and ashamed all the time. The shame of what I was doing and my attraction to guys caused me to put up walls with absolutely everyone. I consider myself a pretty emotionally and psychologically healthy man today, but I still struggle with trust with people I don't know well. The shame, guilt, fear and walls caused me to mistrust others. When I was 18, I knew the escape and pleasure I sought in masturbation could have been traded for sex with others. I think this would have destroyed me. Literally. All I would have done was to trade one compulsion for another. It would not have been about love. It would have been about me using sex instead of enjoying sex within a healthy relationship.

I'm not telling you that you shouldn't masturbate. I'm just telling you that masturbation is sometimes more than just about masturbating. If you work to understand yourself now, one day, when you find a guy to love, you will be glad you did. I think you have a lot of energy and passion to share with another person and that includes sexually, but until then know thyself.
In the meantime, keep boxing the bishop.

- - - Updated - - -

I came down with the flu...

I told you to stop kissing all those strange boys.

Get well soon.

[Ryuukie]

Stupid fucking People magazine just spoiled Downton Abbey for me. No warning of a spoiler either.

[MissAnne]

Im really very close to accepting a sales position. They seem to be the only companies that are open to hiring recent college grads.

Its so frustrating. Has anyone here ever had a sales job and could you give me some advice ?

Are they worth it ? Will they fire you based on commission ?

[Huntneo(PT)]

Sometimes parents have a habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time that just makes you want to fly off the handle. I can't...

And sorry--I haven't had any sales experience, MissAnne.

[refujiunderground]

about 11 days before my 27th birthday. YES!!! much better than it coming by the spring. i most definitely will have some money by then.

[refujiunderground]

Refuji, you know I think you are a good man. I hate psychobabble and I hate playing arm chair shrink, but let me say this about your masturbation: I suspect it is one of the few places in your life you feel you have control. You feel controlled by your family because you are dependent on them. You feel you have no control without a job. I think masturbation provides you with an escape from thinking about not having control and and your loneliness. If you are masturbating, you are not dwelling on all that is wrong in your life. It also provides you with pleasure and relief and you probably have very little of that. You are not free to fully enjoy the friendships in your life with the people you love because you can't fully be yourself. The fact that you tend to be so open and honest with us here only reminds you that you are not that way in real life. You will get there.

As an adult, I can now look back on my childhood and better understand some of the things I did as a boy. Long before puberty, I used masturbation to help me feel better about the hell we lived in. For those few minutes of escape, I could forget about it all. If I was alone or singing or pleasuring myself, I felt good. Kind of like the escape of a pleasant dream rather than the usual nightmare.
Or like getting lost in a good book. After puberty, I began to realize I had attractions that were not "normal". Masturbation was not only a way to express my sexuality but it was a source of deep guilt. Because I did it so much, I felt guilty and ashamed all the time. The shame of what I was doing and my attraction to guys caused me to put up walls with absolutely everyone. I consider myself a pretty emotionally and psychologically healthy man today, but I still struggle with trust with people I don't know well. The shame, guilt, fear and walls caused me to mistrust others. When I was 18, I knew the escape and pleasure I sought in masturbation could have been traded for sex with others. I think this would have destroyed me. Literally. All I would have done was to trade one compulsion for another. It would not have been about love. It would have been about me using sex instead of enjoying sex within a healthy relationship.

I'm not telling you that you shouldn't masturbate. I'm just telling you that masturbation is sometimes more than just about masturbating. If you work to understand yourself now, one day, when you find a guy to love, you will be glad you did. I think you have a lot of energy and passion to share with another person and that includes sexually, but until then know thyself.

wow, you pretty much figured me out.

[refujiunderground]

gonna rant about a demon that some guys have in here towards themselves just like i do.

about a year ago, there was a thread where some cute jub members made about being jealous of someone who looked better than them, they were ranting about how they thought they weren't good looking when they had boyfriends, were having sex regularly and etc. i was trying to act like the fake ass life coach where i was like "you guys aren't ugly" and i really meant that shit because nobody in that thread complaining about being unattractive were unattractive to begin with. it was ridiculous. compared to somebody such as myself who really ain't all that good looking, i felt that it was a bit of an insult.

anyways, i dunno if it's because i have my curtains closed now where it's affecting my mood because i've been feeling (not actually crying) but depressed lately BUT i've been looking at myself in the mirror lately. i always do and i'm NOT the biggest fan of my face. i think i'm ugly as fuck and i mean that shit too. really ugly as fuck. around a month and some change ago, i thought that i had a shot because i FELT that i was somewhat attractive. maybe it was just me being delusional because there's times when i daydream too hard where i believe the lie or can convince myself to believe that shit. well anyway, i think and know that i'm ugly as fuck. it actually makes me a bit depressed BUT to tell you the truth, i can live with that. i might struggle with that depression shit but i can live with being unattractive. now that i think about it, i never was attractive to begin with. i'm sure there's more people that will go like "you look okay, alright, or you're ugly" then i'll find folks saying that i look handsome or good and geniunely mean that shit too because i know people who will say that shit to be nice or drop the pity comment because they feel bad for me. it's all good. i'm not mad. i'll take whatever i can get. makes sense why nobody on okcupid wants to date me. when you're black, your chances of getting messaged is pretty much cut in half because for some reason, folks (it doesn't matter if they're white, black, asian, middle eastern or whatever) aren't checking for black men to begin with. if you live somewhere where the search option doesn't give you the people in your area and give you people from 20 miles away, your chances get slimmer. if you aren't super attractive where you have model shots and shit, then you pretty much might as well delete your okcupid profile. okcupid and most of these dating sites are no offense to anybody here is pretty much for white people on some super model shit.

[Huntneo(PT)]

^ You don't give yourself enough credit, refuji! It may sound like bullshit, but I find you attractive and I would date you if you asked me out.

Also, I don't see myself as much of a looker either (as I stated before...I think I have a boring face), but I've managed to pull more than enough guys who confirmed that I was attractive to somebody. I don't see you being any different when it comes down to it.

And you said it yourself regarding websites like okcupid and such--there are certain "types" of guys who get most of the luck on through that arena. I think some of it comes down to sheer numbers, while the rest is prejudices and "preferences". When people are *honestly* thinking about hooking up in the back of their minds, their preferences dictate who they interact with or even give the time of day to. You may have to rely on other avenues to meet guys. I'm sure you've heard that spill before...so I need to be redundant. If you can just expand your gay circle (if it's even existent), or even meet some gay guys through your straight friends (if at all possible), try make it happen.

[Huntneo(PT)]

Sometimes when I see my straight acquaintances posting pictures of their "pregnancy" and engagements, etc. on facebook (or in person)...it makes me feel some kind of way. It doesn't really "bother" me, per se...but there's something that I don't like about it, (while I am generally happy for them) and that confuses me. As I've told someone in another thread--I think part of it comes from the fact that they can put everything about their relationships on display (and always have been able to), while having rights, privileges and such that we as gays don't. I don't know...it's not jealousy proper that I feel, but something in that arena.

Can someone put it into words? Besides calling me heterophobic and/or crazy? lol

It's just strange because that feeling isn't there at all when I hear of such things from other gay couples. But when they're straight--part of me is resentful.

[justanothershyguy]

Can someone put it into words? Besides calling me heterophobic and/or crazy? lol

Nah, I don't think it's all that crazy. Maybe the right word is a feeling of injustice (moreso if you posted something similar than what they are posting). Part of you knows/believes/thinks you couldn't get away with the same thing while having the same reaction?

That's the thought that came into my head, at least. I feel the same way about some of the people I'm not particularly close to.

[G-Lexington]

I dunno. I guess I feel I CAN post the same thing. Well, not the pregnancy part, I guess.

The annoying thing to me on Facebook are posts like "Our four month anniversary, OMG, I love you Shnooky Lumps", I don't care what orientation you are - that's just annoying. And it feels so...phony. I've seen plenty of caring, I-really-feel-for-my-partner posts on Facebook. But many don't come across that way. They read like either insecure reminders - "You still love me, right?! Because I still love you - DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!" - or limp bragging. "We made it to four months somehow!"

Lex

[EuroSoccer]

Jebus.......

[Huntneo(PT)]

Yeah--it's not so much about feeling like I can't (or should be ashamed) of posting such things, but why it irritates me a little when straights do it. I don't feel my relationship is inferior to any straight person's...so why do I have somewhat of a negative reaction when it comes to open displays of their relationships, etc.

LOL and yeah, Lex...the 'pregnancy' deal isn't likely on our end--but it's just another example I wanted to throw out there.

Edit: Eurosoccer...stop distracting me!

[JohannBessler]

Im really very close to accepting a sales position. They seem to be the only companies that are open to hiring recent college grads.

Its so frustrating. Has anyone here ever had a sales job and could you give me some advice ?

Are they worth it ? Will they fire you based on commission ?

My OH worked sales for a while.

They won't fire you based on commission but you sure might starve to death. The pressure is really on.

[Lefty]

@ Fuji...

Okay man, you are ugly as fuck. Wow, I've had some beautiful fucks in my time
but can't recall any really ugly ones. Some were bland...but, vanilla is good at times
(not the race kind, drop that shit)

@Miss Anne,

Commission sales is tough, no wimps need apply. Aggressive is a good word here, your
technique will make or break. If you go straight commission, they won't have to fire you.
Something about empty wallet syndrome will put you back on the street. Lot s of bucks
to be made if it is in your personality.

And Euro, glad you can appreciate the young man in that photo, his symmetry is for
sure in 10+ catagory....photo shop or not.

[Scealle]

I was looking through Netflix for gay themed movies and I have to confess that I have very little interest in lesbian love stories. I am a bad homosexual, I guess.

Not only that, but about 99% of gay themed movies are shit...bad acting, directing, story line and the low budget shows.

Most gay films are from indie productions hence they lack the quality. Though I think Gay shorts these days are actually better. There are some pretty good ones I have watched lately I would recommend Girlfreind Boyfreind (2012 Taiwan) and Amphetamine

I was discussing gay cinema with a friend. He says he can't watch or read "straight" love stories as they "simply reinforce heteronormalism and therefore I cannot relate to them in the slightest". I can't say as I love romcoms or anything, but I think I can relate to "falling for somebody" and "falling for somebody you can't have" pretty easily.

Lex

Straight love stories tend to be really formulated and have gotten really bored of their falling in love scenarios over the years. I can relate to the fall fro somebody part.

[MissAnne]

Thankyou for the sales advice!

[JP.]

I cant see that ass pic yesterday frm school..now I see it Thx Lefty

* That boy needs to cast for Spiderman return

[G-Lexington]

Please stop posting that picture of the hot guy with the amazing ass. I'm supposed to be working, not getting horny and thinking about fucking yet again. At least if you're going to post it, offer to help a gargoyle out.

Lex

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Jebus.......

he a anga manaagement professioanl? wen upset climp up wall?

ha

[Scealle]

That ass is indeed heavenly

[G-Lexington]

Great - now even SS is conspiring to make me horny as hell.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

^ You don't give yourself enough credit, refuji! It may sound like bullshit, but I find you attractive and I would date you if you asked me out.

thanks, man.

Also, I don't see myself as much of a looker either (as I stated before...I think I have a boring face), but I've managed to pull more than enough guys who confirmed that I was attractive to somebody. I don't see you being any different when it comes down to it.

well, you are a looker even if you don't think so because there's guys in here that i've seen throw themselves at you and etc. even if you don't think so, there's people that let you know that you're hot. i'm sure you could get a date quicker than me based off your looks.

And you said it yourself regarding websites like okcupid and such--there are certain "types" of guys who get most of the luck on through that arena. I think some of it comes down to sheer numbers, while the rest is prejudices and "preferences". When people are *honestly* thinking about hooking up in the back of their minds, their preferences dictate who they interact with or even give the time of day to. You may have to rely on other avenues to meet guys. I'm sure you've heard that spill before...so I need to be redundant. If you can just expand your gay circle (if it's even existent), or even meet some gay guys through your straight friends (if at all possible), try make it happen.

it's that it's frustrating to tell you the truth. i hate myself because of the personality flaws and qualities that i have that i feel kick my ass despite me trying to live with them. i'm angry with myself because of that. then there's the things that i'm disappointed with myself for not doing such as having a career, still living at home, not being responsible, not being able to cook, not being able to handle adult responsibilities and feeling like a kid amongst other things. all that pressure. i have to fight self loathing and get myself to live life despite me wanting to put myself down to sleep for good because it feels too much. then i have to live in a world that despite what people will say won't give me a fair shake because of my skin color. you know how it is, man. i have to basically be on my p's and q's period because there's always somebody ready to take mine because that's how people are right. then the stress with coming out, being openly gay in a world that is homophobic. it's basically a fight everyday even when i'm by myself so i look at something such as simple as finding someone who i can simply talk to on a friendly level where i can take a deep breath around, it means something.

dating is a complex thing don't get me wrong and people are going to be people BUT i hate the fact that i still have to deal with the same bullshit that i would nothing but to spend about a minute away from as quick as that is and face in my everyday life with dating. it is ONE of the few things that keep me hopeful towards a better life then to deal with the same bullshit. i don't have time for that. it pisses me off. i understand people have preferences and the whole nine. that's cool BUT you mean to tell me that in a pool of 1,000 people, every last one of them are ignorant as fuck or have the same bullshit mentality? it's annoying have to deal with 100 guys have their heads up their asses where they're thinking they're hot shit that they simply can't humble themselves to simply treat me like a human being because i'm not attractive, white, tall or whatever. then the guys that DO want to talk simply are just being friendly so they can have a quick hookup then discard me like trash. it's like on either side, there's NO RESPECT that these guys have for anybody not even themselves but yet they demand it from people. they don't deserve that shit because they don't give it. then i might run into a regular guy who's just like me but that's like 1 out of 50 people and depends on how many people i interact with which varies. it's hard to find some regular down to earth guys such as yourself and guys on here and easier to find some lames with their heads up their ass. it's like damn... is this really happening? it's frustrating. even to simply have a talk with one or two of these guys on a simple friend level like how people do on here, it's like pulling teeth. i have a much easier time making friends on here than in real life. it's fucking annoying. i'm not really asking for much, man. i'm just a regular down to earth dude trying to survive that is trying to learn how to live with his imperfections in a cold world. i'm just tired of the bullshit, man.

@ Fuji...

Okay man, you are ugly as fuck. Wow, I've had some beautiful fucks in my time
but can't recall any really ugly ones. Some were bland...but, vanilla is good at times
(not the race kind, drop that shit)

indeed.

[EuroSoccer]

Please stop posting that picture of the hot guy with the amazing ass. I'm supposed to be working, not getting horny and thinking about fucking yet again. At least if you're going to post it, offer to help a gargoyle out.

Lex

Ummmmhhhh.................what?
What guy wiv what ass?





By the way his body is perfect, but what really turn me on is his face and his expression......
He is such a babe

[refujiunderground]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_2586352.html

how fucking stupid can you be?

man, she should be fired asap. as someone said in the comments, it would be NO surprise if she slept with a student or two. she seems like the type. this is someone that has NO business teaching high school kids or teaching for that matter.

[G-Lexington]

Ummmmhhhh.................what?
What guy wiv what ass?





By the way his body is perfect, but what really turn me on is his face and his expression......
He is such a babe

...I give up. I'm officially horny as fuck. Anyone want to join the gargoyle in the back room for awhile?

Lex

[sixthson]

Yeah--it's not so much about feeling like I can't (or should be ashamed) of posting such things, but why it irritates me a little when straights do it. I don't feel my relationship is inferior to any straight person's...so why do I have somewhat of a negative reaction when it comes to open displays of their relationships, etc.

LOL and yeah, Lex...the 'pregnancy' deal isn't likely on our end--but it's just another example I wanted to throw out there.

Edit: Eurosoccer...stop distracting me!

I don't think what you are saying is unreasonable at all. Heterosexuals have lots of freedoms we don't. One of them is the freedom of expectation. People just expect them to date, fall in love, get married, have babies and make a life together. Too many people in the world see a straight couple together and they think 'love'. They see two gay men together and they think 'sex'.
How often do you hear someone say about a guy a girl "they're dating, don't they make a cute couple?" What do they say about two guys? They say "they're gay, you know?" GMAFB. We can be in love and a cute couple, too, you dumbasses.

I have never and will never feel my relationship is inferior to anyone's. We don't hide, either, but still we have to endure gossip that heterosexuals don't.

[sixthson]

wow, you pretty much figured me out.

So...did you beat your dick into submission yet today?

[refujiunderground]

So...did you beat your dick into submission yet today?

oh you bet. black spark did it. that new video he has with the guy in the glasses and the underwear . oh my god.

but you most definitely are on point with what you said, man. i'm pretty much using masturbation to sort of mask the pain underneath and i just need to confront it before it really takes me under. that's been the story as of late. been feeling a bit depressed thinking about things and i'm starting to realize that no matter how i've tried to escape or cope with things, the demons are still there.

[G-Lexington]

Perhaps it's time to put your armor on and go slay those sons of bitches. Or at least find another outlet for your issues besides keeping the monkey's backside red.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Perhaps it's time to put your armor on and go slay those sons of bitches. Or at least find another outlet for your issues besides keeping the monkey's backside red.

Lex

well journal writing didn't work. neither is going to the group therapy or talking with therapists and apparently, the medication although it is helping with the ocd and anxiety for the most part, it mostly isn't working with the depression. might start drawing again.

you know, it's kind of hard to explain it though. have you ever been felt pain inside that you just want to get out, that you don't know where it's coming from BUT just can't? there's really no explanation to why i feel this way. it makes no sense. maybe i do know what it is BUT i don't know how to express it or want to talk about it. i know i haven't been sexually molested or abused or at least my memory serves me right. i know i haven't been physically abused by either of my parents although i would say that i did have bullies in school. i am upset with my father for the way he is and what he has put my mother through. i'm angry with myself for the things that i've put myself through and etc. there's many things that i'm upset about but none of it explains why i'm depressed. *shrugs*

i was going to talk about two incidents that happened back when i was a kid BUT that has nothing to do with what was just written. might put it in a blog entry instead.

[justanothershyguy]

Refuji, have you tried Morning Pages?

[G-Lexington]

Definitely. Try different things. Writing, and drawing, and music and whatever else. See what happens.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Refuji, have you tried Morning Pages?

from what i read, it's basically writing a journal entry in the morning. never tried it before but it's worth a shot. it's that sometimes, the thought that should come out during the writing doesn't come out. the thought using comes out during the day where there's something that happens that pushes my buttons but there's no access to a paper and pen so i just bottle my feelings up, toss it away, forget about it, write that journal entry where it's a lot about nothing for a page or so, then the thought that i wanted to write about earlier resurfaces another time like say when i go to bed. then when i'm lying there, listening to music and the thought comes up, i'm like "damn... that's what i was going to write about". it's that the venting thought or the idea doesn't show up when i want it to.

but morning pages sounds like a good idea though. the energy is all there to just write, write, write, and write. tried writing a journal entry in the morning before and there were thoughts that were on my mind that surfaced that i was able to get out. it felt good. i'll start tomorrow morning. thanks, man.

Definitely. Try different things. Writing, and drawing, and music and whatever else. See what happens.

Lex

that most definitely would work. can use all the time that i spend on here whining, complaining, talking about my masturbation exploits and put them towards drawing, learning how to play the guitar, how to dj properly, play the keyboard and etc. funny thing is during that blackout back in late october/early november during hurricane sandy, that's when i was all getting busy keeping myself occupied. time to treat it like it's a blackout again.

i want to thank you, sixthson, huntneo, borg, frankfrank, loveguys72, justanothershyguy, lefty, ixthrock, xbuzzerx, naughtyarousal and everybody else on here that's been supportive towards me for all your support and love during the times when i really needed it because i was down and out and basically hanging on a limb ready to give up. you guys are wonderful.

[refujiunderground]

my mom once again ready to look for a fucking argument over one simple thing. i just had to get out of the kitchen because she just goes on and on and on turning one simple thing into 99 fucking problems about what's wrong with me, my brother and my father.

i think it's ironic because here she is ready to tell me to be positive, to stop arguing and etc BUT yet she does the same fucking thing. wtf.