just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[Lefty]

Oh my God Borgie...

Tell me you did not say/ask that.

Okay...that's your ONE free pass for the quarter

and my inner smart ass hurts.

[borg69unimatrix]

... it was kind of a Telstra moment, wasn't it.

[GiancarloC]

You can put this stuff on a stale piece of bread and it would taste good. I call it the rooster sauce. Not really venting or anything but I felt like posting this lol.

[xbuzzerx]

You can put this stuff on a stale piece of bread and it would taste good. I call it the rooster sauce. Not really venting or anything but I felt like posting this lol.

Sriracha is so good.

[refujiunderground]

FUCK ME!!!!! i'm not really mad right now but i have to vent. i was trying to go for the goal just now with masturbating. i was trying to take myself to the promise land, stroking for about an hour and a half. i took you know what today and I. COULDN'T. GET. OFF. i felt it coming. i felt that orgasm about to kick in BUT I WAS DENIED!!!!! MOTHERFUCKING MEDS!!!! FUCK THESE MEDS. TAKING ME AWAY FROM MY FAVORITE FUCKING PASTTIME. MY HAND AND ME WILL NOT BE SEPERATED. for real, i'm about to join into some guinea pig shit to get me some cash and i'm going to BUY me one of those fleshlight things or one of those special devices to help me get off. i WILL not be denied of my dick. i will get off. when i come back from the gym and walmart, depending on how i feel, i will jerk off again and i WILL get myself to the promise land. all skeeting all over the place, all over myself, the computer and everything. i have the youtube video i was trying to get off to with this guy and his sexy pecs. DAMNIT.. i would think that i might be able to bust a nut from having sex BUT i don't think that would help either.

FUCK ME! FUCK ME!! FUCK ME!! and i do NOT mean it like that either. i don't want to have sex. i just hate myself for having this shit while i have to put myself through this in order to be well again. what the fuck is wrong with me? for real, i hate myself. i feel like a fucking failure BUT i'll stand up and take the asswhipping. i'll survive and i will masturbate where i fucking jizz all over myself. zoloft will NOT stop the jerk off king from wearing his fucking sticky crown. i labeled myself the jerk off king for a reason and i don't care if i catch carpel tunnel syndrome in my right hand, if i have to hump the bed in the dark or the floor, buy me lotion that gets my dick extra hot and horny to help me get off, i WILL masturbate. some people will say damn, you need a life and i agree. i need a life and a job. i need to get cracking with my life BUT regardless, i love masturbation and i will NEVER be stopped from it. THE JERK OFF KING! i don't care if i get a boyfriend. it's not going to stop me from masturbate. i might not masturbate as much if i have sex regularly and can get off to that BUT i'll never stop masturbating. zoloft, doctor issued break or whatever. i don't care if my dick breaks. the doctor will fix it back to where it was and i'll pleasure myself like how i am supposed to.

[refujiunderground]

i tried jerking off with vaseline and oh my god, i'm in the promised land. that nut. oh my god. that nut was



that work of art video with that hot ass guy in the shower from luckyhudson. i'd lick that guy and his 2,000 parts.

[G-Lexington]

Read those last two posts, rej, and see if you can understand why we might be a bit concerned for you. Well, that, and it took you 25 years to figure out to try vaseline.

Lex

[Kien]

Ughh I hate it when I have a joke and have no one to tell it to!!!!!!!

[JohannBessler]

Read those last two posts, rej, and see if you can understand why we might be a bit concerned for you. Well, that, and it took you 25 years to figure out to try vaseline.

Lex

RJ grows on you, doesn't he?

In the beginning, he had to listen to a lot of crap, but JUB has warmed up to him.

@RJ, several JUBbers have mentioned bed-humping here before. They say it gives you the best orgasms, but you won't ever get satisfied with your hand again.

I don't know if you'd find it worth the risk.

- - - Updated - - -

Ughh I hate it when I have a joke and have no one to tell it to!!!!!!!

Why don't you tell us?

FULL DISCLOSURE: much of the time, jokes don't translate very well over the Internet.

[JohannBessler]

How old is your laptop? Laptop generally have 3 year or more shelf life depending how you take care of your laptop(

I ran across a man on reddit/r/frugal who repairs old, tossed-out laptops.

He says that 99.9% of the time, a busted capacitor causes the laptops to fry. He learned that, by soldering in new capacitors, he had a fully-functioning, like-new laptop.

He has become so successful at this that he has started his own cottage business.

[Kien]

I don't have one right now, BUT when I do and there's no one to tell, it...it hurts.

Well it really does suck though

[frankfrank]

oh, these problems arent that hard to fix, and its totally our fault for ignoring it and letting it come so far. but its our fault, not my fault.

It's a shower...is it possible that if you remove the drain cover, you would find globs of hair trapped on the "catch" part underneath? A lot of bath and/or shower drains have a drain obstruction, shaped sort of like a "plus sign" that straddles the entire diameter of the drain, which keeps objects from going down and getting lost. However, those tend to get clogged with hair. Clean and dig the hair out and you have a new drain that works like it's supposed to.

[refujiunderground]

Read those last two posts, rej, and see if you can understand why we might be a bit concerned for you. Well, that, and it took you 25 years to figure out to try vaseline.

Lex

actually i used to wack off with vaseline back in 2003-2005 BUT i'd get the papers i printed off the computer that i masturbated too dirty and i killed a couple of computer mouses with it too. instead of taking my lazy ass up to wash off the vaseline, i would go about doing whatever with my vaselined up right hand. smh @ me. i learned from my mistake.

[RazorzEdge88]

Every time I whack off, I'm going to post about it here.

[refujiunderground]

RJ grows on you, doesn't he?

In the beginning, he had to listen to a lot of crap, but JUB has warmed up to him.

@RJ, several JUBbers have mentioned bed-humping here before. They say it gives you the best orgasms, but you won't ever get satisfied with your hand again.

I don't know if you'd find it worth the risk.

- - - Updated - - -


Why don't you tell us?

FULL DISCLOSURE: much of the time, jokes don't translate very well over the Internet.

the humping masturbation method is what i started with when i was 8. i used to do it until i was almost 17 and that's when i started using my hand. i didn't know people used to jerk off with their hands until then. to be honest with you, i had a hard time getting off with my hand at first but after awhile, i got the hang of it.

humping is more work though and it does leave behind a mess on the sheets. i remember back in 2001 when my cousin came into my room. she saw my sheets and noticed that there was some dry spots right there. she was like "oh... so you were doing your thing huh?" i was embarrassed. the jerking method takes away the evidence.

- - - Updated - - -

Every time I whack off, I'm going to post about it here.

please do so.

[refujiunderground]

and i hate the gym because i want to check out the guys but can't do so. today was a good day for guy candy.

[refujiunderground]

i can't wait til i have a boyfriend. nothing but cuddling, sex, more cuddling, more sex. feeling hyper right now.

[JP.]

I hate when people try to name shitty stuff to sound..pleasant ie: when you fly in "economy" class

What is "economy" about that? eh? I know what they think about "economy" - affordable, efficient. But c'mon, that's NOT what you get when you're inside the plane.

This is what you get from Economy class :

[JohannBessler]

^Joe, please don't post pictures of animals in pain.

Please.

[xbuzzerx]

They used to call it steerage, which was more to the point I suppose.

[JP.]

^Joe, please don't post pictures of animals in pain.

Please.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

[U]

1st world economy education or sumthang takin folk a nice day out

thankyou

[refujiunderground]

i'm about to get the fuck out of here before i really go off on my mother. i don't want to put my hands around her neck BUT she's going to push me to that point. busy fucking spazzing on me over me checking the fucking cake. what the fuck? YOU ASK ME TO FUCKING HELP YOU AND I FUCKING HELP YOU OUT AND YOUR BITCHING OVER ME PUTTING HOLES ON THE CAKE? WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT FROM ME?

man, i know i'm not perfect, never said i was flawless and i'll admit my flaws and take the criticism even if it hurts my feelings and gets me upset BUT i'm fucking tired of having to deal with BULLSHIT. i fucking help her out and she's bitching over fucking holes in the cake that you ask me to put in that shit to check the fucking cake. IT FUCKING REMINDS ME OF SCHOOL WHERE I HAD TO DEAL WITH BULLSHIT FROM THE FUCKING TEACHERS WHERE THEY WOULD YELL AT ME OVER SOME LITTLE FUCKING BULLSHIT. JUST YELL, YELL, YELL AND THEY WOULD MAKE ME FEEL ALL FUCKING SCARED OF THEM AND SHIT. sometimes, they would have a fucking bad day and spaz on me and the other students to fucking scare us. they thought they were disciplining us BUT they were only scaring us and making us have pent up anger with their asses. i understand that my mom is angry BUT i fucking hate to be yelled at by anybody. i have anger issues.

yeah, i said fucking this and fucking that because you fucking pissed me off mom. talking about bullying you around. i'm NOT my father. whatever fucking issues you got pent up. FUCKING deal with that shit. I HAVE ONE HUNDRED FUCKING ISSUES ON MY PLATE. DO NOT MAKE ME GO OFF ON YOU. I LOVE YOU MOM BUT YOU WILL MAKE ME FLIP OUT ON YOU AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT SO PLEASE DON'T FUCKING PUSH MY BUTTONS. I DON'T WANT TO FLIP OUT ON ANYBODY ELSE EITHER BECAUSE I WILL BREAK A KNIFE OR SOMETHING UP ON SOMEBODY'S HEAD IF I GET TO THAT POINT.

[BENDERBOY]

[MrRochesterNY]

i'm about to get the fuck out of here before i really go off on my mother. i don't want to put my hands around her neck BUT she's going to push me to that point. busy fucking spazzing on me over me checking the fucking cake. what the fuck? YOU ASK ME TO FUCKING HELP YOU AND I FUCKING HELP YOU OUT AND YOUR BITCHING OVER ME PUTTING HOLES ON THE CAKE?

Refuji, you know we all love you here and you are our poster boy for drama on those rare occasions when you go off. BUT when you test a cake for doneness, you use a toothpick or a special cake-testing wire. YOU DO NOT USE A BROOM HANDLE!!!

[refujiunderground]

Refuji, you know we all love you here and you are our poster boy for drama on those rare occasions when you go off. BUT when you test a cake for doneness, you use a toothpick or a special cake-testing wire. YOU DO NOT USE A BROOM HANDLE!!!

i used the ice pick thing that my mom had out. there's no toothpics.

but i wasn't intentionally trying to screw up her cakes or fuck them up. i wasn't thinking like that. she was all spazzing out on me over a total misunderstanding and that really set me off talking about how i wasn't interested in helping and etc. sometimes, i feel that no matter how hard i try and etc to get into my mom's good graces, i can't do shit to please her or to keep her happy. i know that she feels the same way about us because she says it but damn.. it's one complaint over another and half of the time, it doesn't even involve me but someone else such as my father. i feel that sometimes, she mixes him up with me over her hosilities with him over his shit so i become the target of her pent up anger over him. i'll take the hit if i fuck up and believe me, i do a lot but fuck taking anybody elses shit. can't wait til i move out of here and live on my own because this shit is like a warzone. as for the cake, i won't do the same thing next time.

[borg69unimatrix]

Refuji... we know you're in there...

... step... away... from... the... ice pick !!!!

[MrRochesterNY]

Did you know that spazzing is contageous?

(A house without toothpicks is a house without a soul.)

[refujiunderground]

Refuji... we know you're in there...

... step... away... from... the... ice pick !!!!

i'm stuck in my room trying yo masturbate with vaseline on my dick. actually was worried about stabbing my brother with the ice pick by accident when he came in from work.

Did you know that spazzing is contageous?

(A house without toothpicks is a house without a soul.)

yeah, it runs in the family. anger management issues.

[MrRochesterNY]

i'm stuck in my room trying to masturbate with vaseline on my dick.

If only you lived closer to me, I'd love to help you out there, but I hate using Vaseline.

[refujiunderground]

If only you lived closer to me, I'd love to help you out there, but I hate using Vaseline.

what's wrong with vaseline?

and yes, i busted a nut just now. thanks to a model in his tighty whities. i'd would love to cop a feel of his ass while he's in those briefs then slip my hands underneath those briefs to feel his bare ass. damn.. i'd slap my dick against his ass while he's in those briefs. he's a sexy demon.

i really want to smell his traps, all the way down to chest. man, i still feel horny after jerking off.

[xbuzzerx]

It's horrible to clean up, would be my main complaint with it.

[JohannBessler]

i used the ice pick thing that my mom had out. there's no toothpics.

but i wasn't intentionally trying to screw up her cakes or fuck them up. i wasn't thinking like that. she was all spazzing out on me over a total misunderstanding and that really set me off talking about how i wasn't interested in helping and etc. sometimes, i feel that no matter how hard i try and etc to get into my mom's good graces, i can't do shit to please her or to keep her happy. i know that she feels the same way about us because she says it but damn.. it's one complaint over another and half of the time, it doesn't even involve me but someone else such as my father. i feel that sometimes, she mixes him up with me over her hosilities with him over his shit so i become the target of her pent up anger over him. i'll take the hit if i fuck up and believe me, i do a lot but fuck taking anybody elses shit. can't wait til i move out of here and live on my own because this shit is like a warzone. as for the cake, i won't do the same thing next time.

You used an icepick to check the cake?

<hugs RJ>

Everybody has to start somewhere. You made a beginner's mistake. Be patient with yourself, RJ, beginners always make mistakes. Once, when I first started out, I placed a hot glass bowl on cold marble. The glass bowl shattered into a bunch of pieces.

Cooking can get very frustrating when things don't go just right.

[xbuzzerx]

Way too much talk of icepicks. Is anyone else mentally visualizing Refuji as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct now?

[Huntneo(PT)]

Cooking can get very frustrating when things don't go just right.

I'll say...lol

You should see me when I fuck up a recipe.

[xbuzzerx]

I'll say...lol

You should see me when I fuck up a recipe.

Did you like my foods Adrian?

[borg69unimatrix]

I'll say...lol

You should see me when I fuck up a recipe.

That's because you're trying to stir what's in the bowl AND jerk off at the same time.

[refujiunderground]

You used an icepick to check the cake?

<hugs RJ>

Everybody has to start somewhere. You made a beginner's mistake. Be patient with yourself, RJ, beginners always make mistakes. Once, when I first started out, I placed a hot glass bowl on cold marble. The glass bowl shattered into a bunch of pieces.

Cooking can get very frustrating when things don't go just right.

well, my mom was using it to check the cake, she told me to use it so i used it. *shrugs* she was upset because i put like 8 holes in the cake trying to see if it was ready or not.

and yes, indeed, cooking can get really frustrating. i will never forget when 9 years ago, i was trying to make gravy and somehow, i burnt it to a crisp. don't ask me how i did it but within 10 minutes, it went from light brown water to burnt shit. i was really trying to get my chef boyrdee on, determined to make some nice gravy to pour over the chicken and rice dinner that my mom made and it came out to be something else. still don't know how to make gravy.

[MrRochesterNY]

Reminds me of the old Smoky Stover comic strip saying "Scram gravy ain't wavy." Anybody else remember Smoky Stover?

[G-Lexington]

You put a hole in the cake? Big fucking deal - that's what icing is for. To cover up the mistakes.

And I prefer hand lotion over Vaseline. Easier to clean up.

Lex

[EuroSoccer]

I'll say...lol

You should see me when I fuck up a recipe.

[MrRochesterNY]

*shrugs* she was upset because i put like 8 holes in the cake trying to see if it was ready or not.

As a graduate of the Aunt Jemima School of Pancakery, I can tell you that the proper way to test a cake for doneness is to find the center, or highest point of the cake, then stick your testing implement into the cake at that precise point. Then pull it out. The test is complete. No second jabs.

If the tester comes out reasonably clean, the cake is done. If it comes out with traces of raw dough clinging to it, the cake is not done and needs to go back in the oven for more baking and a repeat test.

Try to do this when you are not feeling horny, because the suggestivness of all this poking and cling-testing may drive you over the edge. And it could be very painful to poke your private tester into a hot cake loaf.

[MrRochesterNY]

And I prefer hand lotion over Vaseline. Easier to clean up.

But neither are very good on a cake.

(Quitting now)

[G-Lexington]

But neither are very good on a cake.

The only thing I've found that works well for both? Lemon curd. And yes, from experience.

...that probably should go in the confessions thread. Oh well.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

As a graduate of the Aunt Jemima School of Pancakery, I can tell you that the proper way to test a cake for doneness is to find the center, or highest point of the cake, then stick your testing implement into the cake at that precise point. Then pull it out. The test is complete. No second jabs.

If the tester comes out reasonably clean, the cake is done. If it comes out with traces of raw dough clinging to it, the cake is not done and needs to go back in the oven for more baking and a repeat test.

Try to do this when you are not feeling horny, because the suggestivness of all this poking and cling-testing may drive you over the edge. And it could be very painful to poke your private tester into a hot cake loaf.

how did you know i was poking the cake up in a hurry to make sure they were done so i can run off to masturbate? i was going to jerk off while the cakes was in the oven but actually got kind of scared that i might have got carried away.

thanks for the advice. i most definitely won't do that again with the cake, cornbread or whatever is going to be baked. the damage is done though. how could anybody tell though? its rum cakes which they're pretty much look semi burnt. my mom could tell whoever she's giving the cake too that the holes are decorations.

You put a hole in the cake? Big fucking deal - that's what icing is for. To cover up the mistakes.

And I prefer hand lotion over Vaseline. Easier to clean up.

Lex

naw, it's rum cake. icing doesn't go well with it.

no disrespect to my mom, i love you mom please don't call me, but she can't make good tasting icing for shit.

[G-Lexington]

how did you know i was poking the cake up in a hurry to make sure they were done so i can run off to masturbate? i was going to jerk off while the cakes was in the oven but actually got kind of scared that i might have got carried away.

Because it's the only activity on your schedule, as far as we can ascertain? And if it's the only thing on your schedule, why the rush?

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Because it's the only activity on your schedule, as far as we can ascertain? And if it's the only thing on your schedule, why the rush?

Lex

well, it was until i had to go all the way to watchung to pay my mom's kohls bill and do cardio at the gym.

another thing too that's bugging me out. i LOVE doing cardio but damn, i'm losing weight. i checked my weight earlier this afternoon and i weigh 141 pounds. i was 150 about 2 months ago. i'm somewhat muscular BUT skinny now. i was trying to feel my ass last night to see if it had meat on it like how it was over the summer because i like having meat on my ass. i felt it and the meat has gone. the meat was gone. i don't want to have a skinny ass again. would hate it let's say if i decided to have sex and the guy that i was with was felt my ass and was like "damn, is that your bones?" shit, i would love to have some padding back there so it won't hurt when i'm getting thursted with a dick. i'm preparing for my first time whenever that happens even though i have nobody to fuck and don't see myself start to fuck anytime soon.

but i love doing cardio though so cardio trumps having a meaty ass.

[G-Lexington]

I'd gladly give you some ass.* God knows I've got enough to spare.

Lex

* - as it were. Or even not as it were.

[JohannBessler]

The only thing I've found that works well for both? Lemon curd. And yes, from experience.

Lex

The best cakes are made from baby batter. :P

[G-Lexington]

The best cakes are made from baby batter. :P

An utter waste of...cum.

Lex