just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[Nishin]

That didn't happen with you, Nishin?

Most people do. 30, in fact, can seem particularly crushing to gay men.

It didn't (yet??)... I know and fell I am getting older... but not Old
No trauma whatsoever, quite the opposite instead, I more than often feel immature compared to my peers so I will at least enjoy the physical respectability that comes with age !

[rareboy]

I am really sad people commenting on my tanned skin and said I look less attractive now, bitches, I spent 2 months on the beach, of course I am getting a tan! And there's no guys around my place for me!

We'd all love your tan.

Is it an all over tan?

Pics please.

[G-Lexington]

Lex, we all go through a phase in our late 20s, and especially when we turn 30, that we feel old. Most people find turning 30, in particular, quite traumatic; everybody I know has fallen into a depression at that point. I see it as quite normal.

I certainly didn't either. I had a bout of depression a few years ago, but I'm positive it didn't have anything to do with my age. And yeah, I sometimes wish I was trimmer or full-headed or more limber like I was at age 21. But compared to everything I've gained since then, there's really no comparison.

Lex

[Huntneo(PT)]

You know what feels completely cuckoo?

When you're insanely attracted to someone because of their intelligence.

And yes--since the confessions thread is AWOL right now--this is going to have to be where I drop my shit for the time being.

[xbuzzerx]

You know what feels completely cuckoo?

When you're insanely attracted to someone because of their intelligence.

And yes--since the confessions thread is AWOL right now--this is going to have to be where I drop my shit for the time being.

Do you have an infatuation with Stephen Hawkings?

[borg69unimatrix]

You know what feels completely cuckoo?

When you're insanely attracted to someone because of their intelligence.

And yes--since the confessions thread is AWOL right now--this is going to have to be where I drop my shit for the time being.

Einstein was sexy, wasn't he???

[Huntneo(PT)]

uh...actually, I mean people that I know on a more personal level.

[xbuzzerx]

uh...actually, I mean people that I know on a more personal level.

.... President Obama?! When did you meet him?

[refujiunderground]

Einstein was sexy, wasn't he???

a 70 year old head on a 23 year old's body.

[G-Lexington]

You know what feels completely cuckoo?

When you're insanely attracted to someone because of their intelligence.

Not cuckoo at all. I get that way too. But it has to be done correctly for it to work on me. They have to show they've got a really quick mind, but without belittling others. That's apparently not so common.

Lex

[loki81]

I love my roommate.

*I walk in the door 2 hours late from work and obviously in a pretty foul mood*
him: shitty day?
me: more like shitty life.
him: ok. *goes back to watching tv*

thanks for the support. haha

[borg69unimatrix]

^^^
Tell him to get down there and suck it.

[loki81]

^^^
Tell him to get down there and suck it.

the fact that he hasn't shown any interest in me whatsoever in like a month is half the problem

at least when we were hooking up, I could ignore what a clusterfuck my dating life is. now I'm just morphing back into a giant ball of horniness, loneliness, and stress.

[borg69unimatrix]

^^^

"Suck it, Bitch!"

[Lefty]

Actually,

A roomy like that is better when you are in the foul mood...
I want to fucking kill when the oh poor baby...wanna tell me
and that other smarmy shit starts spewing.

A really GOOD PISSED OFF MAD is a thing of beauty and it
warrents respectful silence as such...JMHO

Although a blow job offer is part of the above. Still JMHO.

[Sparky-Sparky-Boom-Boom]

well, something tells me that i might not live to see the end of the year. i just can't see me being around january 2014. i feel my days alive are numbered. should i write a will just in case i'm right? might be apart of that 27 club.

Gosh are'nt you be a bit dramatic?

Plus have you any assett or money to leave a will?

[JohannBessler]

I have pondered the fact that when a person puts out an opinion, very often he offends people deeply--even if that opinion seems innocuous itself.

Recently, for example, I offered my opinion about rap music. I can't see it as music, you see, because it doesn't contain a melody. I grew up with Aretha Franklin, James Brown, and the inimitable Donna Summer, trilling up and down the vocal register like Maestros, so my brain simply cannot process the idea that a composition without a melody could be considered music.

Apparently, however, this opinion offended a great number of people. I think music--like food--can become an integral part of one's culture. So when a man says he just can't develop a taste for poi, the Hawaiians get offended, because they perceive it as an attack on their culture. Likewise, when a man says his brain simply can't process rap music, he deeply offends people to whom the genre represents an essential part of their culture.

I can tell that I offended people, because some JUBbers with whom I had prevously shared a warm sense of bon homie, no longer even want to converse with me.

I consider this as one of life's lessons that one must learn.

[Lefty]

Dude,

I am in your corner.

Dirty words spoken with mouths full of mush, discordant instruments in the background.
And viewing...pants hanging below ass (even the fat guys) cock squeezing (girls fake it)
flashing tits and pubic hair shadow on the girls,

How the fuck do you hum that walking down the Blvd or whistle it while you are out fishing.
I don't want to here drugs/sex/death talked about. So I don't listen. Some of them don't
like the multiple venues I like....okay we call it a push.

Thats like somebody getting offended because you wore 505's instead of 501's and did it with
a flannel shirt. if thats what caused the rift in the bon homie
...there wasn't none to rift anyway.JMHO

[xbuzzerx]

I have pondered the fact that when a person puts out an opinion, very often he offends people deeply--even if that opinion seems innocuous itself.

Recently, for example, I offered my opinion about rap music. I can't see it as music, you see, because it doesn't contain a melody. I grew up with Aretha Franklin, James Brown, and the inimitable Donna Summer, trilling up and down the vocal register like Maestros, so my brain simply cannot process the idea that a composition without a melody could be considered music.

Apparently, however, this opinion offended a great number of people. I think music--like food--can become an integral part of one's culture. So when a man says he just can't develop a taste for poi, the Hawaiians get offended, because they perceive it as an attack on their culture. Likewise, when a man says his brain simply can't process rap music, he deeply offends people to whom the genre represents an essential part of their culture.

I can tell that I offended people, because some JUBbers with whom I had prevously shared a warm sense of bon homie, no longer even want to converse with me.

I consider this as one of life's lessons that one must learn.

Johann I think you nailed it exactly as to why people react so strongly.

I know you, so if I Heard you say "I don't like rap" (or any genre), I know you well enough to know you'd probably have a list of reasons combined with a totally fair recognition that much of taste is subjective.

I think where a lot of people come from is an attitude out there where if someone says rap isn't music... they're attacking it altogether as an art form, and usually have a set of very bigoted stigmas about it, the people who make it, and the people who like it.

[JohannBessler]

^Exactly correct, Buzzer.

I see taste in music (or anything,really) as completely subjective.

In my case, my brain simply cannot process the idea that any composition without a melody could qualify as music. Heaven knows I tried to see that point of view, but my brain kept interrupting my thought processes by interjecting with "but they're not singing".

No joke.

My empathy has failed me one other time on JUB, on one other issue. I gave myself a headache trying to process that particular idea.

[G-Lexington]

Well, I'd be a fool not to use this since it's here.

Dirty words spoken with mouths full of mush, discordant instruments in the background.
And viewing...pants hanging below ass (even the fat guys) cock squeezing (girls fake it)
flashing tits and pubic hair shadow on the girls,

Isn't it sad that some people would criticize Lefty simply for having an opinion on a musical style? Apparently the PC police have decided that you can't even criticize popular music anymore. And if anybody has any issue with what Lefty has said, it's obvious where the issue lies, and it most certainly is not with Lefty.

Lex

[Scealle]

You know what feels completely cuckoo?

When you're insanely attracted to someone because of their intelligence.

And yes--since the confessions thread is AWOL right now--this is going to have to be where I drop my shit for the time being.

Haha I can see the intelligence part. Brains over Brawns for sure.

Recently, for example, I offered my opinion about rap music. I can't see it as music, you see, because it doesn't contain a melody. I grew up with Aretha Franklin, James Brown, and the inimitable Donna Summer, trilling up and down the vocal register like Maestros, so my brain simply cannot process the idea that a composition without a melody could be considered music.

I don't really like Rap and I hardly listen to them unless the MV has a super nicely choreographed dance. I don't really like electric Pop either. There are hardly any singing skills since their sounds are so tuned to the maxand TBH anyone can be an electric pop singer.

[refujiunderground]

i came up with the remix to the catchphrase for the trix cereal commercial way back. however, i know that it's pretty damn offensive especially as a gay men so i won't go there. i thought it was pretty funny during the time though. if you don't know what the catchphrase for trix cereal it's, it's "silly rabbit, trix are for kids". replace rabbit with something offensive that rhymes with it, dicks for trix, and chicks for kids and you'll see what i'm saying.

[CupidBoy]

i came up with the remix to the catchphrase for the trix cereal commercial way back. however, i know that it's pretty damn offensive especially as a gay men so i won't go there. i thought it was pretty funny during the time though. if you don't know what the catchphrase for trix cereal it's, it's "silly rabbit, trix are for kids". replace rabbit with something offensive that rhymes with it, dicks for trix, and chicks for kids and you'll see what i'm saying.

You didn't come up with that, homophobes have been saying that for years.

[refujiunderground]

You didn't come up with that, homophobes have been saying that for years.

well.... i may not have came up with it but i definitely was saying it. however, i started to grow more and more guilty saying homophobic comments and stuff. it hurt on a personal level whenever i said it because i knew that i was gay even though at the time, i didn't want to face it.

[Lefty]

Thanks Gargoyle,

Sometimes one can be a fool by using only parts of what here EH?

I am going to pretend I didn't see your post.

JMHO

[G-Lexington]

Sometimes one can be a fool by using only parts of what here EH?

Indeed.

I am going to...JO...your...Gargoyle...post.

I'm here for that.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

^Exactly correct, Buzzer.

I see taste in music (or anything,really) as completely subjective.

In my case, my brain simply cannot process the idea that any composition without a melody could qualify as music. Heaven knows I tried to see that point of view, but my brain kept interrupting my thought processes by interjecting with "but they're not singing".

No joke.

My empathy has failed me one other time on JUB, on one other issue. I gave myself a headache trying to process that particular idea.

Johann, if it helps you "appreciate" the structure of the genre at all.. my English professor used to regard it as a modern day resurrection of one of the oldest musical forms, the recitation of ancient world lyrical epic poetry, which was done to a cadence or beat.

[borg69unimatrix]

Johann, if it helps you "appreciate" the structure of the genre at all.. my English professor used to regard it as a modern day resurrection of one of the oldest musical forms, the recitation of ancient world lyrical epic poetry, which was done to a cadence or beat.

Johann was there !


(just kidding Johann)

[CupidBoy]

Gosh are'nt you be a bit dramatic?

Plus have you any assett or money to leave a will?

Wait.......Bonerfied is now Sparky-Spark-Boom-Boom?

[JohannBessler]

Johann, if it helps you "appreciate" the structure of the genre at all.. my English professor used to regard it as a modern day resurrection of one of the oldest musical forms, the recitation of ancient world lyrical epic poetry, which was done to a cadence or beat.

For some reason,I have never had the ability to "grok" poetry, either.

Some people really get off on poetry, and I respect their sensibilities, but it has never done anything for me.

[G-Lexington]

Wait.......Bonerfied is now Sparky-Spark-Boom-Boom?

If somebody asked me "Would you like to do the sparky-spark-boom-boom", how would I react? Right now, I'm on the fence.

Lex

[bankside]

Johann I think you nailed it exactly as to why people react so strongly.

I know you, so if I Heard you say "I don't like rap" (or any genre), I know you well enough to know you'd probably have a list of reasons combined with a totally fair recognition that much of taste is subjective.

I think where a lot of people come from is an attitude out there where if someone says rap isn't music... they're attacking it altogether as an art form, and usually have a set of very bigoted stigmas about it, the people who make it, and the people who like it.

It's very difficult to form fully-researched exhaustive opinions about something that leaves a poor first impression. Even harder when it leaves a poor second impression. And that's my view of rap. I'm certain it has more to offer than I will ever appreciate, but getting there is such a chore that at some point you have to call off the search. And I'm certain if I knew the genre much better I would be better grounded in my assessment of it. I'd find more things to dislike and probably a few things to like, but for reasons which are thought through better. And, probably in some people's minds, less clichéd.

I'm open to those experiences coming my way just out of a basic interest in humanity. But knowing what I know, when the math is done, my opinion of it rounds down to zero. Aesthetically awful. Uninspiring. Un-insightful. Hollow and commercial. Lowest common denominator. Talentless arrogance. Cultural dead-end. Reverse-elitist pandering populist claptrap….I even hate "cadence poetry" that you hear at "poetry slams" and other hideous and regrettable "spoken word" events. Though again in theory I am open to being amazed.

But my point is not to pile on the I hate Rap bandwagon (though that is fun... ) My point is that the farthest you can get from rap at your local music store, is probably classical music. And it is likely just as pointless and impenetrable and dismiss-able to some part of our common society as rap is to me.

It goes beyond different tastes. It goes beyond "agreeing to disagree" because we have different tastes. It is a bandwidth problem: the world is so big that we humans just don't have the time and brain capacity to fully understand the things we accept or reject. Especially the things we reject. Not just in art, but in politics, philosophy, economics….Even 2000 years ago the Library of Alexandria had hundreds of thousands of scrolls. Now with the internet there is no way to keep up.

It makes me wonder how to promote social cohesion and neighbourliness in people who can be drawn so far apart by their different interests.

[TheSpectatingLoner]

Lately, friends of mine (who know that I am talented with a camera) have been begging me to do portraits for them. Problem is, I don't like portraits, I like street photography. I love candids and the like. Buildings, street scenes, not posed photos. It's frustrating that few of them understand me, and when I try to explain it to them, they seem to not get it. Meanwhile, I never want to come off as a hard ass, so I end up just giving in to their demands. Ugh.

[bankside]

Lately, friends of mine (who know that I am talented with a camera) have been begging me to do portraits for them. Problem is, I don't like portraits, I like street photography. I love candids and the like. Buildings, street scenes, not posed photos. It's frustrating that few of them understand me, and when I try to explain it to them, they seem to not get it. Meanwhile, I never want to come off as a hard ass, so I end up just giving in to their demands. Ugh.

For what its worth I agree with you as part of the audience for photography. Nothing makes my brain wilt more than hundreds of photographs from someone's holidays of nothing but "people enjoying themselves." They could be climbing a mountain. They could be in front of a blank wall at a convention centre in Birmingham. They could be at a shopping mall. Who can say? It's just some close-up of their giant heads. But they're always smiling, and high-fiving, and thumbs-upping, and downing shots in bars, and standing in groups, and generally getting in the way of the one interesting bit of architecture that I saw poking out of the corner of one picture. To hell with the people; show me the sights!

[refujiunderground]

wow. this room is hot and dark. trying to bust a nut to this sexy ass guy here BUT for some reason, i can't see the fucking promise land. it's getting too hot in here. don't know if it's the medication.

[G-Lexington]

Just ride it. Keep the sexy going for as long as you can.

Lex

[xbuzzerx]

It's very difficult to form fully-researched exhaustive opinions about something that leaves a poor first impression. Even harder when it leaves a poor second impression. And that's my view of rap. I'm certain it has more to offer than I will ever appreciate, but getting there is such a chore that at some point you have to call off the search. And I'm certain if I knew the genre much better I would be better grounded in my assessment of it. I'd find more things to dislike and probably a few things to like, but for reasons which are thought through better. And, probably in some people's minds, less clichéd.

I'm open to those experiences coming my way just out of a basic interest in humanity. But knowing what I know, when the math is done, my opinion of it rounds down to zero. Aesthetically awful. Uninspiring. Un-insightful. Hollow and commercial. Lowest common denominator. Talentless arrogance. Cultural dead-end. Reverse-elitist pandering populist claptrap….I even hate "cadence poetry" that you hear at "poetry slams" and other hideous and regrettable "spoken word" events. Though again in theory I am open to being amazed.

But my point is not to pile on the I hate Rap bandwagon (though that is fun... ) My point is that the farthest you can get from rap at your local music store, is probably classical music. And it is likely just as pointless and impenetrable and dismiss-able to some part of our common society as rap is to me.

It goes beyond different tastes. It goes beyond "agreeing to disagree" because we have different tastes. It is a bandwidth problem: the world is so big that we humans just don't have the time and brain capacity to fully understand the things we accept or reject. Especially the things we reject. Not just in art, but in politics, philosophy, economics….Even 2000 years ago the Library of Alexandria had hundreds of thousands of scrolls. Now with the internet there is no way to keep up.

It makes me wonder how to promote social cohesion and neighbourliness in people who can be drawn so far apart by their different interests.

Some musical genres speak to a certain experience or a certain background that sometimes others can't appreciate even secondhand, yes.

For me that genre would be country. I just can't like it. However while I could go off on some rant about hicks and rednecks and annoying twangs and cowboy boots-- I won't because that's not the reason I don't like country.

The fact that people who attack rap can never quite seem to attack the class or quality of the people who make or listen to it is part of why people get defensive about it. Your post unfortunately wasn't an exception. The inability to simply say "I don't like it" and the need to go further and attack what it represents, the class of people who it appeals to or whatever else-- is why people recoil and feel something more than a subjective dislike of the music is driving you.

[G-Lexington]

Lately, friends of mine (who know that I am talented with a camera) have been begging me to do portraits for them. Problem is, I don't like portraits, I like street photography. I love candids and the like. Buildings, street scenes, not posed photos. It's frustrating that few of them understand me, and when I try to explain it to them, they seem to not get it. Meanwhile, I never want to come off as a hard ass, so I end up just giving in to their demands. Ugh.

I was asked to do some portraits for a group. I told them I would under one stipulation - that I was in charge. I was going to take the photos as I saw fit, rather than what they were hoping for. I said "If you want photos of you standing in front of the pretty backdrop smiling vacantly, I'm not the right person for you." They thought it over, and decided to have me do it anyway.

I didn't do anything weird. I just put them in unusual groups, and stood in weird places to get the angles I wanted. (I lay down on the floor more than once.) But the pictures actually came out really well. They were very pleased with them.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

Just ride it. Keep the sexy going for as long as you can.

Lex

i'm trying but damn..... this is too much.

[G-Lexington]

That's precisely what it's supposed to be like. Keep going.

Lex

[JohannBessler]

Apropos rap music:

In my case, my 50-year-old brain just can't process it. Simple as that.

It has nothing to do with the subculture stuff. Honestly.

When I expressed this opinion a while back, it deeply offended some people. It bothers me a great deal that one person, in particular, became offended. When I get up enough nerve, I will ask him about it.

[JohannBessler]

I'd like to repeat a theory I'd heard.

They say it takes 1000 hours of pure listening (no talking) to hear all of the sounds of a foreign language. For example, it would take a 1000 hours of listening to Mandarin Chinese before we Westerners could hear all the tones.

With this in mind, I wonder if it would work for music? I could listen to the 1000 hours of rap music at night while I sleep.

I don't suggest this in any way to learn to kiss anybody's tail, or anything. In my case, I would find it an interesting experiment in neurology, to see what would happen in terms of a physical brain.

[CupidBoy]

If somebody asked me "Would you like to do the sparky-spark-boom-boom", how would I react? Right now, I'm on the fence.

Lex

Just say no Lex.

[G-Lexington]

I'd like to repeat a theory I'd heard.

They say it takes 1000 hours of pure listening (no talking) to hear all of the sounds of a foreign language. For example, it would take a 1000 hours of listening to Mandarin Chinese before we Westerners could hear all the tones.

With this in mind, I wonder if it would work for music? I could listen to the 1000 hours of rap music at night while I sleep.

I don't suggest this in any way to learn to kiss anybody's tail, or anything. In my case, I would find it an interesting experiment in neurology, to see what would happen in terms of a physical brain.

The words "Stockholm Syndrome" come to mind.

Honestly, I've ended up finding things to enjoy in musical forms when I'm forced to listen to them. I was stuck somewhere where everybody listened to modern country in the early 90s for several months. I didn't come away from that with a huge appreciation of modern country (or early 90s country), but I did find songs I liked, and artists I thought were pretty good.

Should people be forced to "get" bands and styles that they dislike? Not at all. There's nothing wrong with saying "I don't like (style)" or "(artist) doesn't do a thing for me". It's when people choose to deride the style, artists, and fans that my hackles get raised.

Lex

- - - Updated - - -

Just say no Lex.

I guess it would depend on what "sparky spark boom boom" is. Right now, I'm thinking it's "sex on weed".

Lex

[borg69unimatrix]

I am having the strangest case of Deja Vu -

I swear I've seen this conversation before ?!?!

[refujiunderground]

That's precisely what it's supposed to be like. Keep going.

Lex

well, i took your advice and WOW!!!!!! i don't know what it was. if it was the pic of the guy that i was jerking off to, the fact that it took like an hour to bust a nut, if the curtains was closed or if it was something else, i busted one of the biggest nuts in my life and i squirted. it landed all over my shirt and my right hand. think some of it may have shot out on the floor. DAMN!!!!! i just whipped some of it off my neck.

then next thing you know, the upstairs phone starts running and i'm in total disbelief figuring whether i should get the phone even though there's still semen all over my hand and shirt or if i should continue to clean up. DAMN!!!!!!!!!! can't even say that it felt good. just can't believe i had all that much semen inside of me. i jerked off twice yesterday then took like a 12 hour break so i dunno if that was it. that's crazy.

i'm contemplating on whether i should go to sleep for a second and then go to the gym because damn, that was too much.

[Scealle]

Wow you jacked for an hour? Damn and you sure is a "hot spring" if you know what I mean.

[tombastep]

Apropos rap music:

In my case, my 50-year-old brain just can't process it. Simple as that.

It has nothing to do with the subculture stuff. Honestly.

When I expressed this opinion a while back, it deeply offended some people. It bothers me a great deal that one person, in particular, became offended. When I get up enough nerve, I will ask him about it.

Being one of those people, I wasn't really "offended" as much as I really don't agree that it is isn't "music." I think that disregards it and tries taking away the credibility of the artists who do rap. And because it has to fit a certain criteria for it to be considered music for you, I think if all music tried to fit a certain criteria and certain artists didn't try new experimental things, music would be boring.

[bankside]

Some musical genres speak to a certain experience or a certain background that sometimes others can't appreciate even secondhand, yes.

For me that genre would be country. I just can't like it. However while I could go off on some rant about hicks and rednecks and annoying twangs and cowboy boots-- I won't because that's not the reason I don't like country.

The fact that people who attack rap can never quite seem to attack the class or quality of the people who make or listen to it is part of why people get defensive about it. Your post unfortunately wasn't an exception. The inability to simply say "I don't like it" and the need to go further and attack what it represents, the class of people who it appeals to or whatever else-- is why people recoil and feel something more than a subjective dislike of the music is driving you.

But my post wasn't even about rap; it was about life events and insights that are so different that it is difficult to even discuss the difference. The rap opinion was beside the point, though it did serve to illustrate it. Probably what rap advocates, perhaps including yourself, forget, is that rap can raise issues that provoke defensiveness as well.

When I was writing my unvarnished opinion of rap, it is because I think it is better to express opinions, particularly when a person is willing to change them, than politely tuck them away. Do you think country music comes from a bunch of hicks and rednecks? If there is a reason you can't like country music (neither can I, btw) then what is it?

I should have added in my earlier post an idea that runs throughout a lot of my posts on JUB: I don't believe calling something "cultural" entitles it to any special respect as an idea. I think we all need to be free to have conversations which are critical of various traits, attitudes, practices, art forms, assumptions, political structures, that some person or another might consider to be part of their cultural legacy. My commitment is to respecting people's individual humanity; but all of us inherit and create our own contributions to culture that are open to criticism by others. Sometimes people confuse the two.