just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[refujiunderground]

shout out to lefty for the idea. anyways, free feel to air yourself out, voice your emotions, people you may have a problem with on here, and etc. just feel free to write whatever you want. it's basically a free zone.

anyways, i really didn't know what to first say to kick this thread off first but even though this really wasn't what i wanted to talk about. i became came out to this web forum where i've known the posters over there for years. they basically knew me as the "emotionally unstable 20 something year old virgin living at home with no job and no friends that couldn't get a woman or pussy to save his life." it was basically a wild overexaggeration where people let their imaginations go off with. they might tell you about the whole long drawn out episode than i could.

the funny part was some of them were cool with it. half of them were ready to with me over it and most of them or at least almost everybody thought i was lying, was trolling or was just surprised as in i couldn't be that. "oh shit, you're gay?", and all of these reactions that i wasn't suspecting. very few of them actually suspected that i was gay or thought that it made since. about 2 people were actually upset with me because they had high hopes for me getting pussy and finally dating a woman. to them, they thought like it was a good tv show that jumped the shark.

anyways, pretty soon, the homophobia of the forums came towards my way where people started dissing and making fun of me for being gay. it's been annoying but at the same time, it's not like they've been able to run me off of the forums. they can say whatever but i'm still going to be there, doing whatever i do regardless.

[BENDERBOY]

[refujiunderground]

bender, cut it out.

[BENDERBOY]

[JayHawk]

^ bendy, I wanted to do that to a particular Mod a few moments ago

[CupidBoy]

Fuck me, that's hot!

[AshyPhoenix]

I foresee this thread turning into a clusterfuck of drama before the halfway point of the first page.

[RazorzEdge88]

[JayHawk]

[BENDERBOY]

Yeah they are kinda hot.



Just gotta make sure they don't mistake your dick for bamboo.

[tombastep]

I said Hi to my roommate and she completely ignored me.

[CupidBoy]

Here's a bridge ...



get over it.

(for the lolz, keep on keepin' on)

Everyone is beautiful, etc.

[JayHawk]

This is the temper tantrum thread....

[RazorzEdge88]

So we don't want refuji venting in the Confessions thread, but we also don't want him making his own thread where he can vent.

Makes sense.

[RonR18]

Yeah they are kinda hot.



Just gotta make sure they don't mistake your dick for bamboo.

Too late for one poor soul...

[johaninsc]

So we don't want refuji venting in the Confessions thread, but we also don't want him making his own thread where he can vent.

Makes sense.

this is sort of a threadwarming party
...the thread will settle into it's own, soon

[ChickenGuy]

poor refuji.

Time to de-stress yourself, and achieve inner calm....

(maybe I'm asking a lot. )

Now, breathe deeply, look at nice relaxing pics....









Put on some soothing music....

Close your eyes....

Take your mind to faraway places of your imagination....



Oh, and please - a straight forum?

As you would say....

"Fuck that shit!"

We love you here.

[Essex Boy]

Thank you for 'jump the shark' Fuji, I've never seen that expression before but I looked it up and now I'm going to - or should that be I'm finna - use it all the time.
(You can't do post comments in the 'mobile skin' so I have to do it as a reply. Excuse me interrupting with my silly remarks. Carry on.)

[refujiunderground]

So we don't want refuji venting in the Confessions thread, but we also don't want him making his own thread where he can vent.

Makes sense.

well, be happy. i forgot to credit you for the idea. this thread serves everybody

okay..... *looks around to see if the coast is clear*

FUCK BEING A NERVOUS WRECK!!!!

since this is a venting thread.

if i had the balls to, i'd tell this guy that i have a crush on him and i like him but there's something that makes me uncomfortable with the whole thing. i admire and look up to him as it is already and he's a good friend. HOWEVER, i wouldn't want to throw a pass at him that would make him go like "okay, he's talking to me because he likes me" and damage our friendship and i certainly don't want to put myself into a situation that could kick me in the ass because i really need his help. besides, i'm almost 100 percent certain that he is in a relationship or is married even though i don't know for sure. besides, who wouldn't date him. i don't even know if he's straight, bi or gay. i'm actually asking him to help me with something concerning my future. it's really annoying the shit out of me.

i would like to say to that person that i like you a lot and if you were interested in me, i wouldn't mind dating you. if you're taken, it's all good. just would like to let you know that you're a cool guy and whoever you're with is fortunate to have you.

it just makes me nervous knowing that i feel this way. fucking crushes. i want to dive in BUT yet i think it's the best thing if i should fall back. sheit, if anything were to come out of this, he would have to lead the way. i'm way too scared to even try to take it there with him even though if he gave me the greenlight, i would. either way, i'm NOT holding my breath as i'm setting my sights elsewhere to other guys but if the chance ever arises and it happens where him and me do link up, then i'll roll with it. i'm glad to have met this person though.

i almost never made the thread out of fear that the guy i'm talking about MIGHT actually be here reading this. nobody KNOWS who i'm talking about and i'm NOT going to say SHEIT. i bet people think i'm talking about somebody in here. maybe i am. maybe i'm NOT. you'll never know.

i bet you nobody would be around to guess who it was anyway.

but back figuring out what to say since my nerves are shot.

[RonR18]

[refujiunderground]

it would be nice to hear one of you guys say this one time.

[refujiunderground]

damn........ i could sure go to suck a dick or take a nut up my ass right now. raw sex so i can feel some warm cum in my asshole, yeah. fuck me!

[AWP82]

I just got a haircut, and the shape-up hurts like a motherfucker!

[counterspade]

I'm pretty mellow at the moment. I have a cluster fuck of issues to deal with, but I'm just tackling them one at a time.

My only vent? I have to use my laptop outside in order to bounce a connection, and it's windy! (first-world problems!)

[BENDERBOY]

[RonR18]

[jdcnow]

When I'm at work, no matter how calm I may appear, this is what I feel inside...

[RazorzEdge88]

The amount of people who don't use turn signals makes me hope for a mass human extinction some time soon.

[tombastep]

After seeing a part of a Andrew Dice Clay movie last night I don't understand how anyone actually liked him.

[refujiunderground]

time goes by too fucking quick. it's already 2:42 pm. why can't time just SSSSSLLLLLOOOOWWWWW DDDDDOOOWWWNNNNN for a second?

and yo.. i was just jerking off just now BUT i felt like my lower abdomen hurting. i just want to bust this nut, wash myself, eat some cereal, fold these clothes, study, and eat again before i have to go to this 7 o clock meeting i have.

and i sure as hell bit myself in the ass staying on the computer til 4 in the morning, listening to music for two hours and then deciding to go to bed at 6 in the morning. DAMNIT!!!!! life sucks.

[refujiunderground]

the hughleys theme song... "this is the right time, i'm back on top again" or however the song went had to be the worst theme song for a tv show. straight up garbage. i thought the link that i posted had the song in the intro BUT that wasn't it. prematurely copy and paste.

[JohannBessler]

After seeing a part of a Andrew Dice Clay movie last night I don't understand how anyone actually liked him.

He played here in Reno back in the early 90s, when he was at his height.

Someone I know catered the event. He told me that most of his fans were really bikers and the like--real roughnecks who, you'd suspect, have been prone to beating their wives.

He thought it ironic that Dice Clay was Jewish. "I wonder if his fan base knows that?" he pondered. "They are rough types who would not have nice thoughts about Jews", he continued.

[Adrock-JD]

just feel free to write whatever you want. it's basically a free zone.

Like Facebook but with a 'Report Post' option.

The gays don't like. We comment privately and bitch to a mod.

[refujiunderground]

Like Facebook but with a 'Report Post' option.

The gays don't like. We comment privately and bitch to a mod.

with that said, with the whole dislike, like, opinionated where people are saying things they approve or disapprove. that is actually encouraging me to turn a new leaf.

i'm going to do my best to control my anger instead of letting it control me.

whenever i see a post on here that angers me or with someone attacking, expressing criticism and etc, i'll ignore it if i can't say anything that will counter them without making myself sound . i'm also going to try my hardest to not argue back and forth with people on here and offline as well if i get heated with them or if they're heated with me. there was something on another forum that someone posted basically dissing me for being gay throwing in my screenname along with hiv positive. being the guy that i am, i was going to spaz out.. i could have gave the guy a 8 page thread with fighting 20 people by myself getting all upset and angry while these people are busy enjoying themselves @ me responding to them catty like. well, i'm ignoring them.

so i decided to let them do what they do. i'm not responding to the thread. the whole anger management thing that lefty, lex, and others on here been smacking me up with is finally getting through to me.

[Lefty]

Sorry to hammer you down twice FUJI. but, it is necessary....
First hammer is that poster in #21. Lefty don't go there.
Butt, the biggie is you starting this GREAT Thread and making me find it by stumble and fall,

Bad Boy Fuji, Bad Boy

Okay, that be done and passed like water under the bridge. Moving on...

This thread could go places and help a few others as well as be therapy for you Mr. O/P.
A place for you and others to blow off rants and fumes, then using this as your big anger
management facility and then, go back and participate in the fun/games/learning part...
Wish more of us all would take a note from this.

Nicely handled by the way...

Enjoy, I'll be back by.

[BENDERBOY]

x 10.

[rareboy]

I am so fucking black with anger and frustration today.

I have staff who are making bad errors and not taking responsibility for them.

I've got a client from hell.

My one cat has a cancerous tumour and the other one is going blind.

I have a bad cold.

I have to go to two unplanned meetings tomorrow.

I want to throw myself face down on the driveway.

there.

should I feel better?

[Telstra]

I am so fucking black with anger and frustration today.

I have staff who are making bad errors and not taking responsibility for them.

I've got a client from hell.

My one cat has a cancerous tumour and the other one is going blind.

I have a bad cold.

I have to go to two unplanned meetings tomorrow.

I want to throw myself face down on the driveway.

there.

should I feel better?

mmm i think you should retire and stop the work that you don't like.
Therefore no stress ....

[rareboy]

^ Nah.

Just give me that cat's machine gun.

I forgot to add. My arthritis has attacked my jaw. Imagine the limitations.

[quasar]

I'm in the middle of another bout of depression (which is being medicated, and I'm fine with daily living) but I have a bitch of a cold which has also raised my blood sugar levels. Already this week...

1. My nan was getting small shocks from plugs and switches in her flat. I told her it was static from her carpet, not an electrical fault. She got the managers in, who got an electrical company in who said it's static buildup from her carpet!
2. My nan's phone wasn't working. I looked at it, and a contact inside isn't connecting. Said it wasn't a problem with the line, but the phone and I'd get a new one. Plugged the spare phone in, working fine. Uncle goes round and gets the phone company to check the line, they say the line is okay, so uncle says I don't need to get nan a new phone. Uncle plugs the old one back in, and it isn't working. Buys a new phone.
3. Mum orders some new bedroom furniture. I tell her it's too much and she'll feel claustrophobic in the room and it'll partly block the loft access. Build furniture up and she now feels claustrophobic and we can't get the large suitcase down from the loft.

Why the fuck do I bother giving advice, or try to sort problems out when no fucker pays attention! I'm not saying I'm right all the time, but why bother asking for help or an opinion if you're going to disregard it completely! And it didn't help that I got soaked in the rain when I walked down to my nan's flat!!!

[Lefty]

Re your arthur-itis...
Your roomie is dancing off to CVS for more lube and losing his ear plugs on the way?

On a more serious note, I hate the cancer word...how do you know when quality of life
should supersede quantity...tough decision.
Hope your friend with the macular issues is a house cat. It's amazing how well they can
get by with the other senses.

As to the staff issue, maybe remind the dumb fucks that taking responsibility for my fail'
is a lot less painful then being caught in denial. As to asshole clients from hell, you just
have to bite the bullet and remember, the fees you charge quell a lot of flames...if that
doesn't help, Raise their fucking rates.

[Lefty]

Queasy - sar.

Find something serious to be depressed about.
Like who the U.S.A. has to choose from for president.
Even drugs don't quell that one.

Tell Uncle to "enjoy the fucking phone you just bought..unless you are giving Nan a present"

Any of mums furniture you might want to put in your place and give her a bit of room?

Get a spray bottle of Static Cling stuff (Fabreeze smells fresh) spray the old girls carpets
lightly and do so once a week during the low humidity or high furnace use times. Works to
cancel out the static electricity (unless she enjoys the cheap thrills) and makes a stuffy
flat feel refreshed.


[or you can just smack Lefty about the head and shoulders until
he bleeds making you feel tons better and getting exercise too.]

[star-warrior]

Fricking cough...




Fricking fricking fricking cough! and sore fricking throat...



I need sleep, not a fricking cough and bruised windpipe



How I'm feeling right now

[DigitalFudge]

I know ain't not a single damn one of you finna roll up in here and complain about me.

[Aymotin]

Life is tought, this kid just learned it the hard way

[CupidBoy]

I know ain't not a single damn one of you finna roll up in here and complain about me.

Not unless they finna get paid dust by my good sis.

[refujiunderground]

man.... I HATE HAVING ANXIETY. it fucking kills me. I ALSO HATE FEELING NERVOUS. I ALSO HATE BEING SHY TOO. like i was at this meeting yesterday right which i won't say. all i can say is that i was sitting across from my town's vice mayor. i was scared to look up around at the table at everyone. i also kept my mouth shut as well the whole entire time, i usually do. i'm scared to talk to people who i'm not familiar with is weird because at my old job, i was actually socializing with the customers. one problem that i had however was that i talked very low where people were like "huh, speak up". my voice would just go down to a complete whisper because i was afraid. however, as always, i started to fall asleep during the meeting and the vice mayor must have saw that so she smacked the table. i jumped like oh shit. plus some of the members were looking at me like "is he sleeping?" i have terrible sleeping habits. hopefully, it doesn't affect me when i'm driving down to dc in a couple of hours.

i also do NOT do well in a group setting or with a bunch of people. it reminds me of how i would be in the classroom hoping that my teacher didn't call on me and when they did, i would still be too scared to talk. i would just be balled up in the corner chilling, listening to the lecture, not saying a single word because i was scared. i also hated catching the attention. you don't know how uncomfortable it felt when the professor to one of the last classes i took in college would just go from one side of the room to my side of the room looking at me when i looked up after looking down at my desk. he was looking dead at me like "you better be dosing off and you better be listening to what i'm saying. this is on your test." i wasn't even dosing off in his class either for the record if he ever reads this. i was listening the whole time.

forget the fucking class presentations too. i just get shakey and stutter and the whole nine. my nerves get shot. i feel like that husky puppy in complete distress, howling like "help me, i want out".

i just wish i was anxiety free where simple shit didn't bother me.

[JohannBessler]

forget the fucking class presentations too. i just get shakey and stutter and the whole nine. my nerves get shot. i feel like that husky puppy in complete distress, howling like "help me, i want out".

.

RJ, cheer up--this part will get easier.

It's hard to believe now, but at one time I had such extreme social anxiety disorder that I wore gloves during most of the year. The gloves gave me a false sense of security, but one time the glove-wearing backfired.

I had to give a book report in English class in 1976 or 77, and the gloves I wore that day were making me too hot. I was so nervous--and so hot--that I passed out. Plop. Faint. (embarrassed laugh)

Even after all these years, telling this story embarrasses me.

[Adrock-JD]

Some (stress) releases I'm looking forward to, except the limited copies of Blue Lagoon has me a bit anxious.

Magic Mike is released on Blu-ray/DVD Tuesday, October 23rd.

Rosemary's Baby is released for the first time on Blu-ray (Criterion Collection) on Tuesday, October 30th. This is up for pre-order at Amazon. Criterion does a grand job of transferring older films to HD.

The Blue Lagoon (1980) is released for the first time on Blu-ray on December 11th. Limited to 3000 copies. Sold by Screen Archives Entertainment online. It isn't up for pre-order yet. Probably sometime next month.

[refujiunderground]

RJ, cheer up--this part will get easier.

It's hard to believe now, but at one time I had such extreme social anxiety disorder that I wore gloves during most of the year. The gloves gave me a false sense of security, but one time the glove-wearing backfired.

I had to give a book report in English class in 1976 or 77, and the gloves I wore that day were making me too hot. I was so nervous--and so hot--that I passed out. Plop. Faint. (embarrassed laugh)

Even after all these years, telling this story embarrasses me.

what happened afterwards? what did you do to get over it?

but anyways, as i think i'm catching a cold, i would like to vent about the self loathing that i have for myself that has creeped up on me increasingly this past week.

i went down to d.c. with my mom who was the one who wanted to go down there for a day. we've been past the city before but we never actually went into it. you know, spending almost 365 days in new jersey where i usually follow a routine which i'm used to, it's hard to look into myself as well as how my environment keeps me from doing better.

i'm going to write a blog entry on this on here later BUT to make a long story short. after talking with my mom, walking around amongst other people, seeing the city landscape, seeing how easy going and comfortable people were with themselves, i started to grow increasing uncomfortable with myself. i was looking for someone to basically project the feelings of self loathing, hate, disappointment, annoyance, insecurity and etc like how i've done in new jersey, but i couldn't because nobody was paying me any mind. i always KNEW that my biggest enemy was always myself. it has always BEEN that. i've always said that it's because i got made fun of as a kid, i've had bullies in kindergarten, i didn't have people to listen to me and my problems BUT here i was in somewhere i never been before in a bunch of strangers READY to look for problems, not even happy, thinking the same way i've had where i thought i had to be a certain way to protect myself from others who may try to hurt me AND but yet it was ME hurting myself.

maybe it was because i didn't eat shit besides cereal, two boxes of fruit by the foot and goldfish cookies from 4 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon that really made me feel worse BUT i realized that i was slowly killing myself physically and mentally. emotionally, i'm a mess. i would like to be this guy that's happy, trying to present himself that he's okay, that i'm tough, that i will kick your ass if you talk shit about me BUT on the inside, i'm a dude that really hates himself. i don't even know why to tell you the truth or where it came from. there's people that believe or see a lot of good in me BUT i don't see what they see at all.

and i also realize that a lot of the anger that i have is actually because is from the self loathing which makes me sad and my sadness turns into anger. i try to take out my anger onto other people which leaves them the impression that i'm an angry person when in reality, it's my self loathing at work.

and when i was walking to my mom's car to get the camera she left behind so she could take a picture of the white house and back, i felt like i was a dead man walking. like i'm pretty much dying. now that i realize that how severe the problem is, i just need to figure out a way where i can help myself before this ends up killing me. if i continue on this route, i can see myself either becoming a dead or incarcerated. i've already been mentioning about how i would smoke weed BUT the reason why i'd smoke would be as a way of "self medicating" the troubling feelings and thoughts i have.

i enjoyed the trip BUT not as much as i could have because of myself.