Do You Ever Feel Like Everyone Else Is Obsessed With Sex/Relationships?

[TheFallenAsexual]

...and allow me to start this thread by saying, yes, I realize I'm a pretty promiscuous guy, so I'm not pretending to not care about sex.

But what I find different about myself from others is how often I couldn't care less about sex or a relationship in a given moment, yet people in general seem to be obsessed with it at all times. For example, I mention a guy to someone for any random reason and the question is always "is he gay?" or "is he cute?" or "is he single?" almost automatically. Like, because I'm gay, if I mention a male (for any reason), he's an automatic candidate for sexual relations or dating.

99% of the time I'm talking about some straight friend of mine who I'm not the least bit interested in and I'll be chatting about how we went to a baseball game and whatnot or how much fun we had having drinks, but if I mention a male friend I have to a female or a gay friend or acquaintance, it's always "are you into him? Is he hot?"

Furthermore, a good contingent (not all, thank god) of my straight male friends are nearly always on the prowl for chicks. Like the entire point of going out is always to get a phone number or get laid. Same with my gay friends, actually. Always out looking for a man. It's so odd to me.

Now this isn't really bothersome (I didn't start this thread to complain, I'm just fascinated by the phenomenon and how removed it is from my personality). I'm thrilled and happy to have all the loved ones I have, so if this is a quirk that comes with people, awesome. But it's still something I find rather odd and wonder if maybe one other person here can relate to being around that sort of thing and simply not "getting "it.

Currently, my best friend (straight guy who has been in my life for several years and who I love dearly) is an extreme example of everything I mentioned above. Right down to the codewords he uses to point out hot girls to others without it being obvious. But I find that even with "normal" people, it's always so often that the first response to hearing of a new person is "is he/she hot?" I can be very asexual at times, and I swear that's not even close to the first thing on my mind when folks mention meeting new people to me. I've always found it odd that most people are programmed to think that way right away.

Though I've never been one to preach that one "needs" another, there's an extent to which I appreciate friends in my life who have coupled seriously and go an extended amount of time without acting like the point of their life is finding that man or woman to date or sleep with.

[loveguys72]

It's a life stage thing that goes away gradually as we get older and more settled. Sometimes, those questions peole ask you are their clumsy way of expressing an interest in your happiness. I'm finding as I get older that I, too, can go for long periods where I just don't care about sex for its own sake. And though I can be content single, I'm much more so when I'm in a relationship.

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

has cigar ans think on it

thankyou

[refujiunderground]

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

this has been a theme that i've noticed since high school. there this idea that they always said about teenagers that they have to become obsessed with dating and sex and they stayed that way through adulthood until the day they die. it used to bother me watching these tv shows like the "anatomy of sex" where they're to push this idea that people are naturally obsessed with love and sex to the point where we can't even function without it. well, the reality of the matter is that even though a desire for love and sex is natural and people individually, may desire more or less than others, it's been brainwashed into the people through tv, movies, music and etc that it's normal to be obsessed with sex and a relationship otherwise they're not normal. the biggest bullshit myth that i've ever heard is that "men think about sex every 30 seconds". really? BULLSHIT! however, we're living in a society where sex pretty much is pushed because it makes money. everything from the music that we listen to to the magazines we read pushes sex to either a small or large level where they make sure it captures your attention. it's as if they're brainwashing people to be sex and love addicts.

you have these poor guys and girls thinking that if they aren't drop dead gorgeous where people aren't running up to them with their dicks or titties out, aren't having sex, are virgins, and aren't basically sex or love regularly in their lives that something is wrong with them. they place their value around sex and love. the crazy thing is that a lot of people have self esteem, self confidence issues where they don't even love or like themselves and have issues with masturbation. to me, i think that if someone that has an issue with masturbation as in they're having periods where they're withholding from masturbation because they believe that something is wrong with it and they aren't religious, then that's a sign that they're not sexually comfortable with themselves. so what would be the particular point of having sex with someone else? how is someone else supposed to pleasure you if you don't even know yourself enough sexually? i could give you the blowjob of a lifetime BUT you might not enjoy it if you don't feel comfortable with yourself sexually.


there's nothing wrong with being in love with somebody or having sex. it's a problem when you're basically using it to fill a void in what you lack in yourself. there's also no need to be obsessed with it to the point where you live your life around it. life is much more than loving and fucking.

[RazorzEdge88]

What refuji said.

[maxpowr9]

With sex, that is a function of your sex drive. If you have a low one, it isn't something on your mind too often.

As for relationships, I feel it is definitely a problem in the heterosexual community. Basically what refuji said. Although I have met some gay guys who have severe codependency issues.

[geloge]

This thread is a good example that not everyone else is obsessed, but people who is use to be more vocal about it.

[RazorzEdge88]

This thread is a good example that not everyone else is obsessed, but people who is use to be more vocal about it.

Mostly because they can't stop whining about their relationship issues.

[palbert]

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/thre...=1#post8410714

Sex addiction will soon be recognized as a mental disorder.

[cgymike]

Well yeah can't 2 guys meet normally without treating each other as sex objects or evaluating each other sexually? I wonder too but I just spent a few hours with a guy (no sex though non-stop conversation) so it's possible though I wonder if he was thinking about sex. I can't say I was though he wasn't unattractive. The obsession with relationships is a harder one since I really am looking for that though not obsessing. I think the sexual form of obsession must be far more common.
I'll see him again tomorrow btw....

[birddog7]

I think about sex, and relationships all the time. Perhaps due to never having experienced either...

[mikey3000]

Yup, especially my buds who keep trying to draqg me to a bath house. Not into recreational sex. Never have been and never will be.

[Nishin]

Do You Ever Feel Like Everyone Else Is Obsessed With Sex/Relationships?

Everyone else... I don't know...
I know I'm pretty obsessed with sex and with this guy I want a relationship with myself ...

[Scealle]

Yes I do. Most of my freinds are already coupled and two of my housemates are talking about relationships all the time. One of them just started dating last year and the other so so obsessed with a guy in her class that he can stand a minute without him. Makes me feel like want to have relationship too.