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  1. #1
    Sex God Mr-Brooding's Avatar
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    Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    I just downloaded a gay app, and I don't know whether it would be better for me to not reply to people I am not attracted to or just politely tell them that I'm not interested. No one likes being rejected, and it's hard for me to reject anyone. I've been known to accidentally string guys along by being a tease, and I'm afraid to participate in a conversation with these guys for that reason. I just don't want to hurt anyone.

  2. #2
    JUB Addict loveguys72's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    A simple "thank you, but I'm not interested" is the polite response. Just as you would in real life. Being online does not excuse you from good manners.

  3. #3
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    A old ladyfriend used to hang out on AdultFriendFinders. (She considered herself a "swinger")

    She told me that she never replies to men who don't interest her, because when she did, the men would bombard her with emails in an attempt to get her to change her mind.

  4. #4
    of the 99%
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    I used to reply to all messages I'd receive, but now I'm jaded and ignore most of them. Yes, it irritates me when a guy doesn't reply back to me, but I know the feeling of how even more irritating it is to politely reply back and then get swarmed with conversation dragging messages that ultimately lead nowhere. I've even had some guys go off on me when I just abruptly reply, "Thank you for the message, but I am not interested in conversing." You just can't please people.
    #439th oldest member on JUB.

  5. #5
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Reply that you are not interested or they are not what you're looking for, and if they insist annoyingly just block them

  6. #6
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    ^Nods head

    I think of that idea as a good compromise.

  7. #7
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Its best not to reply = not interested.
    Save everyone's time. I prefer people don't reply to me if they are not interested.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  8. #8
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    exorcist

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    * so wot this place then? *
    dunno but think it call earth
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    thankyou
    wot century a dipwads in a educate nice folk a courses?
    round a century or a flat?*not 1 marsians gon shoppin* ooh a easy tens

  9. #9
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    Its best not to reply = not interested.
    Save everyone's time. I prefer people don't reply to me if they are not interested.
    When someone talks to you IRL and you're not interested you don't reply??
    Or if you're asking something to someone IRL and they don't even acknowledge/answer you, you prefer it like that?

  10. #10
    Formulas Fatal to Flesh.
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    I can make friends with people i'm not sexually attracted to. I don't see what ignoring people like they don't exist accomplishes other than to show that the internet has turned normal people that would get to know a little about the person they'd converse with on chat sites and phone lines into self serving dicks with no pulse and empathy. And I realize i've gone off on a rave, but seriously, some people aren't naturally gregarious, are shy, some have to muster up courage to talk to people that they might feel are "out of their league", and to then have to contend with the fact that this interesting person on the other end can't even have the common decency to reply, even if it's to say "not interested"?

    It's all very maddening. In real life, I tend to humor people(comes from working in retail, especially down here where I seem to be a Mormon magnet)... I do the same online.

  11. #11
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Never been on an app like this, so coudn't tell you. My gut says to say "Thanks for the message, but I'm afraid I'm not interested.", and either ignore or block any subsequent communications. That sounds both simple and polite.

    Lex

  12. #12
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    When someone talks to you IRL and you're not interested you don't reply??
    Or if you're asking something to someone IRL and they don't even acknowledge/answer you, you prefer it like that?
    I'm talking about hookup sites.
    People mainly want to hookup for sex. And most people didn't reply if they are not interested.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  13. #13
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by MoufOfKhaos View Post
    I can make friends with people i'm not sexually attracted to. I don't see what ignoring people like they don't exist accomplishes other than to show that the internet has turned normal people that would get to know a little about the person they'd converse with on chat sites and phone lines into self serving dicks with no pulse and empathy. And I realize i've gone off on a rave, but seriously, some people aren't naturally gregarious, are shy, some have to muster up courage to talk to people that they might feel are "out of their league", and to then have to contend with the fact that this interesting person on the other end can't even have the common decency to reply, even if it's to say "not interested"?

    It's all very maddening. In real life, I tend to humor people(comes from working in retail, especially down here where I seem to be a Mormon magnet)... I do the same online.
    just to add on because i'm the same way too. when you work in retail, you have to socialize with everybody. it's not just a part of the job. it's basically how you are able to get comfortable with your work establishing a relationship with your customers and coworkers. even if you're a shy guy like me, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and it's basically networking.

    this is the biggest problem i have with my fellow gay counterparts for the most part. it's as if every single guy they talk to they either have to be interested in having sex with or dating them. it's like wtf? it's as if they no longer know how to socialize with men without that purpose. they have to get something out of you in order to deal with you. not even a simple conversation about whatever or just hanging out. it's simply if i don't want to have sex or date you, i don't want shit to do with you. it's as if there's no such thing as an acquaintance or being a friend to them. this reminds me of a particular guy who i ran into this week where he seemed a bit annoyed with me simply because i didn't play into what he WANTED. i thought he wanted to be a friend of mine BUT it turns out that he was looking at me as a potential hook up or love interest which was why he was acting a little funny when i saw him. hell, even when i message these guys on sites like okcupid to simply say hello or talk, they're strictly business when it comes to dating and having sex and the funny thing about these dudes are they have "searching for new friends" when it comes to what they're looking for. you're not looking for new friends because you're not even trying to talk to anybody that you're not interested in dating. where do these guys expect to go with this backwards ass thinking? to be brief, a lot of these guys are self centered and selfish.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  14. #14
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    I'm talking about hookup sites.
    People mainly want to hookup for sex. And most people didn't reply if they are not interested.
    In other words, while people in real life deserve respect and acknowledgment, people online don't...
    Bah... Anyhow no-one forces no-one else to be polite in the end...
    *shrugs*
    Personally I try to answer messages at least once and appreciate the reciprocation... OP is free to do as he sees fit

  15. #15
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nishin View Post
    In other words, while people in real life deserve respect and acknowledgment, people online don't...
    Bah... Anyhow no-one forces no-one else to be polite in the end...
    *shrugs*
    Personally I try to answer messages at least once and appreciate the reciprocation... OP is free to do as he sees fit
    I don't want to read "sorry i'm not interested".
    Its just a waste of time and some people might ask "why not" ...

    Off topic, on forums i never hear
    "sorry i'm not interested in your threads" .... people don't bother to write that.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  16. #16
    Quality posting since 2K7 Nishin's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    I don't want to read "sorry i'm not interested".
    Its just a waste of time and some people might ask "why not" ...

    Off topic, on forums i never hear
    "sorry i'm not interested in your threads" .... people don't bother to write that.
    Well your time must be really precious indeed so that you can't "waste" 4 seconds answering a message...
    Regarding your analogy, it is more similar to checking profiles of the guys and writing to them to say you are not interested... that obviously never happens, it is not the same thing as being solicited... or do you also receive emails for any new thread on a forum that asks you to take part?

    Once again, everybody deals with this as they see fit, it will only indicate what sort of credit they give to people/pieces-of-time-wasting-meat-created-for-self-enjoyment. This is just my personal opinion.

  17. #17
    JUB Addict TheFireGod's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Seems to be the norm for me at least for the app and/or location. I've ignored guys based on anything really, and been ignored, so it's a two way street.

  18. #18
    M10000
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Write what Sloppy writes here. Theyll go away

  19. #19
    Sex God Mr-Brooding's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Not to defend my question or anything, but I asked because I wanted an array perspectives, so thank you guys. The last time I had an online profile, I had a guy put me in a really uncomfortable position by smothering me and attempting to contact me via other social media sites ater I tried to cease communication many times (I have an uncommon first name, so it's kinda easy to find me if you look enough). The fact of the matter is that I do not wish to make friends with some people in my area, so maybe it's better that I don't respond rather than fake an attraction or interest. I look for peers with common interests on these websites.
    If they compliment me, I thank them, but I most likely won't respond to a random "wassup" from someone I'm not interested in.

  20. #20
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr-Brooding View Post
    ...so maybe it's better that I don't respond rather than fake an attraction or interest.
    But responding with "I appreciate you reaching out, but I don't think I'm interested - thanks, though" isn't "faking an attraction or interest". It's precisely the opposite of that.

    Lex

  21. #21

    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Sometimes I will compliment someone, but it doesn't mean I want to have SEX with them.

    If someone sends me a message saying something like "You look good", I will reply back with a "Thank You!"

    SOME people really are just looking for friends and social interaction.

    Don't assume just because they wrote to you that they want to have sex with you.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  22. #22
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    But responding with "I appreciate you reaching out, but I don't think I'm interested - thanks, though" isn't "faking an attraction or interest". It's precisely the opposite of that.

    Lex

    But Wasting your time writing this and wasting his time reading it.
    And he may reply with "thankyou for your response, you are so kind, can i see your pic? " LOL

    NO reply means not interested.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  23. #23
    Porn Star floridaboy's Avatar
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    when guys reply to me, i check to see if they look good.

    If i dont like how they look, then i dont reply. Also if guys unlock their dirty pics i dont respond either

  24. #24
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Gay Apps: Are You Supposed to Reply to People You DON'T Like?

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    But Wasting your time writing this and wasting his time reading it.
    Let me time myself really quick.

    "Thanks for the message, but I'm afraid I'm not interested."

    ...seven seconds? And maybe another second to click the "reply" button. Eight seconds. You spent longer than that responding to my post.

    And he may reply with "thankyou for your response, you are so kind, can i see your pic? " LOL
    At which point, as I've said, you can ignore or block.

    Lex

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