Being older, is it the end?

[JP.]

I have to be clear about my frustration, so here it is..


The thing is..I've been treating life like an unpicky eater who went to cotsco and gobble all free samplers until there is nothing left to taste. Nothing excites me anymore. I've been high, I've been low, I've been poor, I've been rich but nothing can keep me sufficient permanently.
When Im getting older, not only Im thinking.."what can keep me exciting for that such long period of time!?" Plus the fact that our vitality decreasing, that just getting worst.
Maybe there was mishap in the past in how I treating life, but I dont want you guys to think too hard to diagnose me ^^
What Im looking for is the "elixir of life" that makes you content and peaceful for the rest of your life?
That's definitely not sex or is it? Is it euphoria?
The reason I want to castrate myself because I thought my idealist sex drive will be bothersome to live in old age.

Sometimes I think I should've try to get high when I already sufficient enough to provide myself, I dont care of addiction.
Why some people can go to nirvana, but not me? What's the purpose of getting clean unless to get you hired faster?

It's the circle of life, the super boring routine of growing and cultivating just to see your work destroyed/gone repeatedly, the emotional nag and disturb we relentlessly get from others, the sickness...tell me what's new in this world? Whether you're a homeless guy or Donald Trump, you're not immune to world's problems..

That's right, there are high aspects as well..when you're happy and winning, when you're lucky, when you're loved..but aren't those permanent?

To see same things happening all over again under the name "new challenge" is not very exciting to me...(FETCH! .... I refuse )and I dont know if I have willingness to live for such long period of time in this circle of suffering~ like Buddha said
Im..50/60 yo..what am I doing?
I want to go beyond this system, call me heretic, whatever..

you guys are sheeps!
Jk
or maybe Im the weird one ^^

So, no bitchy intention to older gentleman here, please dont take me wrong.

[CupidBoy]

^ I don't think the answer is to get castrated. I'm not sure what life is about, but sex is awesome.

[Lefty]

You're to old to get castrated, your voice has already changed. If you want to get castrated then you might

as well say fuck it and go for the whole remodel. Vagina remodel from testes sack, trim the cock back to clitoris

size and hang a set of tits on you. Then we'll have to call you Princess Josette and not let you into the Mens Room.

[JP.]

^ I don't think the answer is to get castrated. I'm not sure what life is about, but sex is awesome.

I thought you put love as foremost? ^^

[JP.]

You're to old to get castrated, your voice has already changed. If you want to get castrated then you might

as well say fuck it and go for the whole remodel. Vagina remodel from testes sack, trim the cock back to clitoris

size and hang a set of tits on you. Then we'll have to call you Princess Josette and not let you into the Mens Room.

Nvm Lefty, I think I found my answer:

[CupidBoy]

I thought you put love as foremost? ^^

Sex is apart of love.

Ate you saying you want a sex change?

[JP.]

Looooolllllllllll...No!^^ My words are confusing somehow

Im thinking of being an eununch because I have so much sex drive and they bother me every night
Im thinking to cut that off because I dont have to cater to my lower self all the time..
and because the dire outcome as we getting older (the more difficult to appear attractive all the time) and cliche problems, you know..
but I have NO intention to become a women
Although you right, without testosterone...my estrogen increase so..
How bout if I cut my penis and leave the balls?

[CupidBoy]

Don't get castrated, feeling desire a wonderful gift, there are plenty of older gentlemen with partners. And just because someone is young and attractive doesn't mean they have a partner.

I don't have a partner, but I'm happy.

I'm just guessing you want a partner probably.

[Saybrooke]

Joe, I'm worried about you. Have a hug!

<(^.^)>

[JP.]

Nvm...too interesting to leave right now ^^

[CupidBoy]

But why do you feel this way?

[JP.]

Don't get castrated, feeling desire a wonderful gift, there are plenty of older gentlemen with partners. And just because someone is young and attractive doesn't mean they have a partner.

I don't have a partner, but I'm happy.

I'm just guessing you want a partner probably.

I have a guy who wants to take care of me..and willing to go steady..
but I dont love him. But I think all rltship have high and low..but to be partnered is such a practical contract..
Im not in love everyday..and we change..dont we?
When true love in front of my face and I just meh? Whats wrong with me?

Cupid..I'll gotta get something to eat and think clearly..Im starving..it makes me dumb
brb

hug you&saybrooke

[Saybrooke]

Hey cutie, I'm going to bed. Ttfn

[CupidBoy]

Oh......well, if you aren't in love......

Then again, you can't be in love with someone you just meet. Perhaps you mean 'instant attraction' to him? He may be nice, but you shouldn't be with someone you don't want to be with. There is nothing wrong with you, you should do what feels right for you.

[JP.]

I think I know the reason behind my mess
INDIFFERENCE..

high level of indifference in one's life could kill the passion and to could make everything meaningless..
it's like disease..and it's hard when you have one, you just gotta deal with it.
No wonder my plan for future is not only brooding but slightly morbid, I just had to deal with it.

~~
He's knowing me not too long but right now I feel it doesn't matter if I know him earlier or later in life..love will die
and replaced by responsibility and team work. Very dry practical things..
The thing I felt with him..is the long-lasting security, a permanent safe haven, with no expletive passion
eh..I gotta 'private' you about this..I dont want to have melt down in public dear ^

ok, the thing is..in future I want drugs or just die NOT because Im depress but because world didn't offer me new thing to be excited
but can people really understand my reason? It seems I die because I've hurted so much but practically, Im too free and inexperienced with pain! Isn't so confusing?^^

[JP.]

Hey cutie, I'm going to bed. Ttfn

Gnight sweetheart, sweet dream

[CupidBoy]

You can PM me Joswan.

[ozguy]

..... have as much sex as you want when you're young. I did, way more than my fair share too. That's what youth is all about. Have fun. As I'm getting older, I don't want that kind of sex anymore. But I sure had fun when I was young.

Kind of how I feel, too. Spontaneous, frequent, wild sex is great when you're young, but it's definitely not something I yearn for now that I'm in the 55+ age group. A slow & satisfying head job does me quite nicely these days!

[TheFallenAsexual]

You never agree with anything anyone says.

Complete bullshit.

I do often and when I do, I generally write either "co-sign" or "/ t h r e a d" as a result. You can search both of those terms.

Once again, has any study suggested that those who have suffered childhood trauma had those experience expire with age? Because if not, I don't understand the problem you had with my comment.

[sixthson]

If I understand the OP correctly (and I may not be), he has no problem getting sex. He just is not finding it enough.
Not everyone is cut out for non-stop casual sex, especially those who don't know what real love it. Sex does not equal love.

I realize many feel that youth is a time for sowing their wild oats by having lots of sex with lots of different guys.
I see youth as time for love and making lots of love with someone you truly love. The days of our lives pass by so quickly and before we know it, we have built a foundation for our lives. The question is what kind of foundation? You reach the age of 40 and with all the sex partners you have learned to be good at sex, but is that all there is? Have you learned about putting another person first, have you learned about genuine commitment and loyalty? Have you learned about kindness and tenderness? Have you learned how to be genuinely intimate with another person? In other words, have you learned how to love? When you are in your early 20s, life often seems carefree and what a wonderful time that is for learning how the share and laugh and be playful with one other person. These might seem like simple things, but by the time you reach your 30s and life becomes much more serious and demanding, these simple things will pay big dividends because they will be a major part of the foundation of your life.

I can assure you that in your 40s, the passion you feel for each other is great. It's not the passion of a new relationship. It's the passion of deep love, exclusive love, proven love. Have you ever seen the bud of a flower begin to open? It's a beautiful thing full of anticipation for what it will become. But it's not until the flower is fully opened that you can see it's real beauty. This is what love is like--magnificent in it's beginnings, but perfected over time.

Also, when two people are in love and healthy and vital, sex is better than ever.

A long time ago I noticed something. I awakened in the middle of the night and we were holding hands in our sleep. I've awakened to that many times over the years. Even in our unconscious slumber, we are drawn to each other.

I guess my point is this: while we can't help getting older, love matures but never gets old.

[sixthson]

Once again, has any study suggested that those who have suffered childhood trauma had those experience expire with age? Because if not, I don't understand the problem you had with my comment.

I'm not sure what childhood trauma you are referring to, but if you mean molestation, I can tell you, as someone who was molested, that it never expires. There can be healing, but memories rarely die. At least that is what I think. I know I have had to work hard in my relationships to overcome certain things because of it. As a friend used to say "molestation, the gift that keeps on giving".

[HunterM]

Joswan,
You sounded like you are in a depression. Go see a counselor for help. Or get a new iPhone 5! That cheered me up instantly.

[loveguys72]

Ok, Joswan, here's my best shot. Love is about more than sex and physical attraction. You can get those all day every day anywhere you choose. Love is about committing your whole self and your whole life to another person. Not because he's hot, not becuase he's the best lay you've ever had, but because you care about what happens to each other, that you want to be with each other not just when times are fun and good, but even more so when times are bad. And it's true that love will swell and ebb over time. That's natural. He'll drive you mad sometimes, and you'll do the same to him. But if it's real and true, you get past the temporary nonsense and noise and see the bigger picture: that this is someone who has your back, always, who'll be there for you when no one else is. Someone who knows all your secrets, all your hurts, all your regrets, all your flaws, and loves you because of them, because they're a part of the whole you, and the whole you is the man he loves above all others.

Life isn't always fun. Sometimes it's utter crap. Sometimes it's thrills and laughs a minute. But mostly, it's just the day to day process of living, and taking delight in the small joys we encounter along the way. Being in love with someone makes that process richer and more meaningful, as you have someone to share it with.

Finally, love can come along at any time. More often than not, it's quiet and unassuming. There probably won't be fireworks or little starburts all around. You'll be talking to a guy, maybe someone you've known for a while, maybe someone you've only just met, and it will suddenly dawn on you "this is who I belong with."

Live your life, Jo. Love will come along in it's own time. When it does, embrace it.

[rareboy]

Well allow me to weigh in.

My partner and I have been together 30 years.

I know from other men's experience that some of them only found their perfect partner in their 40's or even 50's. One as late as 65, if memory serves me correctly.

There is no age limit for love and affection.

What there is....and let me be perfectly blunt about this....is a trend among the very young toward an anti-socilaism...or a stupid virginal romanticism that I can guarantee you will leave more of you unattached and lonely than you can shake a stick at. Unless you get out there and take some risks...particularly emotional as well as sexual...and by that I don't mean going bareback....I mean letting the sex happen and happen without fifteen dates before you blow the guy.

I met the two loves of my life...including my partner of 30 years and tore the sheets up the very first date with each.

Get out there. Spread love.

[Lefty]

Josie,

First, are you still being silly and mad at me?

Second, leave your penis alone. If you cut it off you will have to pee sitting down
and the world is full of disgusting toilet seats....especially in the Mens' Rooms.

Now don't get all pissy here but think about this...
you got to try on a lot of pants to find the perfect fit.

You got a 'friend' that wants to investigate natural urges with you, wear
protection and BOTH of you have a good time. It's not a great idea to buy
the first car you see on the lot, thats why they have test drives.

Seriously my little neurosis, stop internalizing everything and doing Tab A/Slot B.
Thats for OLD OLD OLD folks that no longer want to bother with the other.

Shuffle the cards, roll the dice and pull the handles. Life is a trip to Las Vegas.
Do what you can while you can now. Save the coulda/shoulda/woulda for when
you can't anymore.

Bottom line, you got to give to get. Last time I was in Neiman Marcus, Bellevue store,
they had no Prince Charmings in stock...shit, neither did Nordstoms or Bealls.

[ravenstar]

I'm heading towards 40 and frankly if my 40's are anything like my 30's have been I'm looking forward to them. I wouldn't go back to being in my 20's for anything.

I don't care what age I am, I'm grateful to make it this far and I look forward to getting older. If I'm no longer attractive to people in their early 20's that's not for me to decide.

I read a tweet the other day from someone who said something along the lines of "I'm sure people go home and masturbate to your personality". It was in reference to someone who had said they were happy to be 38 or something. I thought to myself then, "fuck it's so much work being a young kid, knowing everything, being cynical, being worried if people are masturbating to you or not."

I like that as I've aged I've grown my comfortable in my own skin. For the most part aging hasn't been the end of my life. It has been the end of certain things, but the opportunities I've come across mean a lot more to me than the transience of my "pretty" days did. That said, I was just as obsessed with youth and beauty when I was young.

The trick I think is to realise the changes to your life that occur as you age aren't the end of anything, but the beginning of a whole new adventure. So long as you are comfortable with how you've turned out, nothing else really matters.

[birddog7]

I know of nothing good about getting older...

[JayHawk]

So even in this economy, age guarantees financial stability?

And now the effect of traumatic childhood experiences come with an expiration?

When did this all happen?

If you plan it right... everyday

[JayHawk]

On being older.... life is a blast or it sucks and you make that decision... NOTHING else decides it for you.

[maxpowr9]

I don't think anyone looks fondly back on their 20s. That decade for most people is such a tumultuous time that it is a blur to most people.

[birddog7]

I don't think anyone looks fondly back on their 20s. That decade for most people is such a tumultuous time that it is a blur to most people.

I do, I'd go back to twenties, or teens in New York minute...

[birddog7]

On being older.... life is a blast or it sucks and you make that decision... NOTHING else decides it for you.

It's always sucked for me, aging just makes it worse...

[cgymike]

I don't think anyone looks fondly back on their 20s. That decade for most people is such a tumultuous time that it is a blur to most people.

20's were a nightmare especially after 23 or so so I sure agree with you. But I might go back to my 30's...

[Audio Tech]

I don't think anyone looks fondly back on their 20s. That decade for most people is such a tumultuous time that it is a blur to most people.

Actually, I do. My 20's, despite being in the closet, were full of wonder and excitement. I was working my first job and got to work the 84 Olympics as part of it. There was such a huge explosion of technology it made my head spin. I learned a tremendous amount of things and skills in my 20's. It was one hell of a ride! Yes, had I been out in my 20's it would have been the icing on the cake.
But it was STILL the best time of my life, so far.

Now, life has gotten routine and kind of boring. There are really no new things, just a newer model. Like the iPhone, for example.
Back then, everything I bought was NEW. Now it's just a "newer" version of the same thing. I have more worries, more bills, more responsibilities. And still, no one to cuddle up to at night... Maybe I'll still get lucky, but those chances dwindle with every year, regardless of how young I may still feel.

Being older isn't the end, but it does make you far more aware that your time is precious and finite.

Yeah, I'd go back to that time in a heartbeat! Life today is... boring.

[mikey3000]

^^^ Man, that is well said!!!

[thewiz]

I didn't come out until I was 48....it was one of my worries, actually. I wasn't sure if guys would find me attractive or would date someone my age. A weekend in Boystown Chicago put the attraction worry to bed and DC was equally exciting. My hubby is 31 and I'm now 55...we have sex once or twice a day and went out dancing with friends until 2 this morning (third time this week).

We play flag football, kickball, and he crews. We laugh that we know far too many people and always enjoy new friends. Age is what you make it. And that is our pic in the avatar and our wedding photo in the sig.

[tombastep]

It's always sucked for me, aging just makes it worse...

Trust us, we know.

[Corny]

I don't think anyone looks fondly back on their 20s. That decade for most people is such a tumultuous time that it is a blur to most people.

Hu what? If I could, I'd restart at 20 again immediately I mean it's "only" 10 years for me and sure life was different and I got no income. But hey I had so much fun doing stuff, testing stuff experiencing new things .. not to mention hot guys around every corner. LIfe is more stable now, more serious. It's a good thing, too - but the last 10 years have been a blast

[cgymike]

Life starts at 50 I am convinced of this...

[Lefty]

Recent research at a number of prestigious Universities and hospitals have concluded

getting older does not cause "The End". But, your failure to continue to do so does.

[JohannBessler]

Let me tell you my own story.

When I hit 30, I fell into a major depression. "I was never going to be young again", I thought, and "what have I accomplished? not much".

I got over it.

When I hit 40, I fell into a major depression. "Now, I'm old, I'm losing my looks, it's all downhill from here."

I got over it.

When I hit 50, something happened. I blossomed. I feel great! I can be the person I want to be. I can be as goofy, as eccentric as I like. And,"Wow"! My life has been an adventure! I had a Tom Sawyer youth, I experienced the Cold War, I saw the Studio54 culture; I lived the life that some younger people envy.

I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Yeah, I wish I had my 20-something looks, my 20-something waistline.

But I wouldn't go back to being younger. My OH have been together for 22 years. I feel damn lucky.

[Lefty]

I know what you are saying Johann. Last May I was hauled off to the E/R in a county Limo with 3 aides
sirens and lights and excessive speeds...Damn, I was napping during the ride. The Dr. team told my s/o
'support group' I was in my last moments. Gallant efforts of the E/R team and a 5 day coma later I came
around (sort of) with no clue just a catheter and a million tubes attached.

Got a chance to review my life from day 1 to approximately day 22,275. Good ...bad.. indifferent. It has
been one hell of a ride. Some of it I can hardly believe. I'm still not 100% or even 75 but, working on it.
My organs are promised and I have a no extraordinary effort clause. But they can damn well wait until I
have all the quality mileage I can get. I think we are singing the same song old fart...you were, as usual
more concise.

Maybe one of these days I'll run over the hill and we can do Starbucks or a drink at Jim Kellys....

[twinkerbell]

Whatever age your are you can find guys your own age. Hopefully they are looking for the same thing. Too many idiots out there 60s and up looking for 20 year olds.

And some of us May/December-ists (though I think of it more as May/September ) find love. I'm 22 and my partner's 51. We've been together 4 years now and going strong. I never wanted a guy my own age as a husband. For casual sex or friends, sure. But most guys my own age aren't ready for a life-time commitment or stable enough for me. People tend to assume he's either with me for the sex or I'm with him for the money, but that's not the case at all. It does get irritating after awhile, but then, I'm not living my life for other people.

Age really can be just a number.

[JOHN B]

You know....I had a witty comeback about getting old...........but I forgot what I was going to say.

[oakpope]

A long time ago I noticed something. I awakened in the middle of the night and we were holding hands in our sleep. I've awakened to that many times over the years. Even in our unconscious slumber, we are drawn to each other.

I guess my point is this: while we can't help getting older, love matures but never gets old.

Sigh. I love each time Sixthson writes about his love. So jealous of him So beautiful and heartfelt.

[refujiunderground]

joswan, you're cool people and all but this thread is actually quite offensive. maybe it's because a lot of my relatives are old BUT life doesn't end until death and you can die any day. you don't have to grow old to know that. with that said, life doesn't end when you get old. you might not be young but you can still live an enjoyable life. i'm 26 years old. my life as a child was MUCH better than my teenage years and the first half of my 20s. those years were terrible. hell..... i can't wait til i get old. i just hope that it's much better than how my life is now or rather when i was 13-25. 12 years of my life being absolute trash. never again.

[Beachguyj]

Yes being older is the end, it's been proven that it leads to death.

[handyman76]

Some people are happy in their 20s and unhappy in their 50s; others are happier in their 50s than in their 20s. Life always brings us something new. You will not be the same person in 30 years that you are now.

But, as a recent event has sadly reminded me, life can also be quite unexpectedly cut short. Plan for tomorrow, but don't worry too much about it. It may never come. Seize the day.

[Lefty]

Sorry beachguyj,

All viable indicators show the trauma of conception is

the actual harbinger of a souls corporate body and of

that bodys cessation of existance as such. It has been

accepted as fact in most teachings that until conceived,

like ideas, you are just eggs and/or wigglers. Potential.

[refujiunderground]

Yes being older is the end, it's been proven that it leads to death.

well, i knew a girl that i used to monitor in the 8th grade that was 11 or 12 years old when she died from an severe asthma attack 12 years ago . i also had one of my peoples die at 23 from complications stemming from an illness he was born with. there's just as much young people dying as older people are. life isn't promised to anybody. for someone to assume that they're going to get the chance to live until their 40 or 50 is someone who takes life for granted. you can lose your life any moment from now. you don't even have to leave your house to drop dead. nobody knows when it's their time to go which is why everyday you wake up from your sleep you should be grateful. it doesn't sound like a lot of people are grateful to be living which is quite sad. life may not be good BUT it sure beats death.