HIV concern

[Coward92]

Hi!

I'm soory for the question, because I am sure that you have already seen it a million times before, but I must ask:

Is kissing a way to get infected? Im sorry about asking this, but I get so many contradictory answers on this question, that I don't know what to think. I used to have ulcers in my mouth and I often bit my lips, and even though I never kissed anyone with a bleeding mouth, I did kiss someone while having ulcers and non-bleedig wounds.

The other thing that boggles my mind is mutual masturbation. The last time I did this, the other guy's pre-cum entered my urethra. Is that a risk?
I am really sorry about asking theese, but I simply get all kinds of answer, while browsing google for answers, and they are quite various.

I was tested for HIV 3 months ago and the test came back negative.
Ever since that happened I only kissed and I had 1 mutual masturbation with another guy.
What do you think?

[Aymotin]

Theoretically HIV can be transmitted by kissing, practically not realy since there would be a lot of bleeding involved that would turn it more into some cannibalistic fetish thingy than normal kissing. HIV is tipically not transmitted via saliva, which would be the primarily involved bodily fluid in kissing.
So basically kissing is considered a very low risk.

Mutual Masturbation is about the same. A healthy individual without open spots on his body will not become hiv positive since HIV is not transmitted via the skin. Also pre-cum contains a low concentration of HIV if the person is virulent.

You would have to elaborate on the urethra-part, how would you do that?

Ever since that happened I only kissed and I had 1 mutual masturbation with another guy.
What do you think?

I would say you would have to be pretty talented to catch HIV with that.

Educate yourself about HIV. There are official sites, health sections on gay webpages and so on. After that you will know how to be safe and when to be cautious and you can have a fulfilling sexlife without unrational fears.

[TourDeFrance]

Unless you both have bleeding sores in your mouths, it's virtually impossible to get HIV from kissing an HIV+ person.

Unless you're taking loads of cum from positive guys in your ass you're very unlikely to contract HIV.

Same goes for sucking cock. Taking a full load of cum in your mouth has very little risk for HIV infection. In fact swallowing the cum decreases the risk even more.

I'd be more concerned about other STIs than HIV.

[Coward92]

I'm not wooried about getting cum in my ass, because I would never do that without using a condom. I am worried about another guys cum in my urethra (pee hole, if you like) Does that pose a risk?

[Coward92]

Mutual Masturbation is about the same. A healthy individual without open spots on his body will not become hiv positive since HIV is not transmitted via the skin. Also pre-cum contains a low concentration of HIV if the person is virulent.

You would have to elaborate on the urethra-part, how would you do that?

Well the other guy had precum and he used it as a lubricant on my cock. I didn't even have the time to say no. He rubbed it in my urethra with his fingers.

[Benvolio]

Mutual masturbation is not safe for uncircumcized men. Studies in Africa have shown that uncut men are at signicantly greater risk having unprotected sex. The skin of the head and inside the foreskin is thinner than for cut men and the virus can enter microcsopic cuts and tears in the skin. It is not necessarily safe for cut men. Tops and straight men do get infected after all.

[Corny]

^ show me a study or anything to verify your first sentence. And no, the "african" study does not say anything like that or allows the conclusion.

[Coward92]

PLEASE stay on TOPIC!
I am interested if frottage is a risk of HIV infection or not?
Let's assume that a HIV + guy rubs his pre-cum into my urethra. What do you think about that?

[KaraBulut]

Let's assume that a HIV + guy rubs his pre-cum into my urethra. What do you think about that?

When you go into a public restroom, notice that the toilet seat is shaped like a "C", unlike the seat you have an home that is shaped like an "O". That's because there were people who were worried that they might get an STD from a public toilet seat.

These same people might cheat on their partners or have sex with prostitutes and not worry about that. But the toilet seat they worry about.

When get into these discussions about "Can you get HIV if you....", it's like worrying about toilet seats. Sure- it might be theoretically possible that you could get HIV from all sorts of strange and unusual circumstances. But the reality is that most gay men get HIV from unprotected receptive anal sex with someone who has HIV. We've know this for nearly 30 years now.

Anxiety over sex and STDs makes people obsess over all sorts of possible scenarios. Like toilet seats. No one can give you answers to risks and possible risks of all these uncommon scenarios. All we can do is tell you what 30 years of evidence tells us to do- avoid high-risk encounters, reduce the number of partners and use condoms if you're going to get fucked.

[Coward92]

When you go into a public restroom, notice that the toilet seat is shaped like a "C", unlike the seat you have an home that is shaped like an "O". That's because there were people who were worried that they might get an STD from a public toilet seat.

These same people might cheat on their partners or have sex with prostitutes and not worry about that. But the toilet seat they worry about.

When get into these discussions about "Can you get HIV if you....", it's like worrying about toilet seats. Sure- it might be theoretically possible that you could get HIV from all sorts of strange and unusual circumstances. But the reality is that most gay men get HIV from unprotected receptive anal sex with someone who has HIV. We've know this for nearly 30 years now.

Anxiety over sex and STDs makes people obsess over all sorts of possible scenarios. Like toilet seats. No one can give you answers to risks and possible risks of all these uncommon scenarios. All we can do is tell you what 30 years of evidence tells us to do- avoid high-risk encounters, reduce the number of partners and use condoms if you're going to get fucked.

I appreciate the answer, but what do you think? Is a HIV-test warranted for in my case?

[Benvolio]

The studies I referred to show that circumcised men are 60% less likely to receive HIV infection from women. It is a reasonable inference that the transmission of fresh semen from one dick to another also involves significant risk, at least, cannot be regarded as safe. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19932700.../#.UGwre67AFUw Are there any studies actually proving that? Probably not.

[KaraBulut]

I appreciate the answer, but what do you think? Is a HIV-test warranted for in my case?

General rule of thumb that applies to all cases:

1. If you are sexually active, you should get tested for all STDs on a regular basis.
2. If you are being overly anxious about any particular encounter and you feel that getting tested is going give you peace of mind, then go get tested.

[Coward92]

General rule of thumb that applies to all cases:

1. If you are sexually active, you should get tested for all STDs on a regular basis.
2. If you are being overly anxious about any particular encounter and you feel that getting tested is going give you peace of mind, then go get tested.

Thank you. This is what I was looking for.
The funny thing that 3 months have already passes since that "incident" and I had a date with another guy. We kissed briefly. I had ulcers in my mouth and ever since that night I keep thinking "I am infected... I will die..."
Funny thing, because in the past 2 months I experienced how it feels to live without my fears, and then paranoia stabs me in the back.
And no, there is no such thing as psychotherapy in Hungary. Well there is, but I can't afford it :/

[Benvolio]

Each individual must decide how much risk he will tolerate. While we all must practice safer sex, it is never absolutely safe. Some people are more tolerant of risk than others. You need to decide on your limits and abide by them. Have you seen a doctor about the ulcers or sores in your mouth? This is something you should treat in any event.

[Coward92]

Each individual must decide how much risk he will tolerate. While we all must practice safer sex, it is never absolutely safe. Some people are more tolerant of risk than others. You need to decide on your limits and abide by them. Have you seen a doctor about the ulcers or sores in your mouth? This is something you should treat in any event.

I have seen a doctor. It seems that it appears, when I'm going through much stress.
Oral higiene is also a factor here, but since I brush teeth 2 times a day and I use listerine, I doubt that it would be a problem.

My problem is that I am paranoid. I already have decided to wait 6 weeks and get a test. After that I get another test at 3 months.
After theese are done I will seek professional help, because this is sick. I spent 1.5 year with running from one HIV test to the next. I even tested because of kissing.

This summer I found peace. I kissed and I didn't feel the need to go. I can't recapture that peace now.
This monday I had a dream about my own death. This is why I feel so disturbed and paranoid right now.

[Nishin]

At least you seem well aware that your attitude towards sex is clearly irrational, paranoid and excessive... as you said seeking professional help is the best thing to do ... at this rate you're having sex what once a year?? Probably not even enjoying it and feeling guilty for weeks afterward... who can live a happy life in these conditions ??
Meanwhile time passes by.
Good luck to you, don't chicken out on seeking help.

[Benvolio]

Your dream of you death is a reflection or result of your fears and not a premonition. Dreams cannot really do that. It should help if you study the recommendations for safer sex and try to rely on them. Kissing is safe, for instance. Being sucked is safe. Sucking is considered safe as well, but perhaps not when you have ulcers in the mouth. Topping will condoms is very safe, and bottoming with condoms is generally safe. Hopefully, as you gain experience with no bad results, you will lose your fear.

[Coward92]

Your dream of you death is a reflection or result of your fears and not a premonition. Dreams cannot really do that. It should help if you study the recommendations for safer sex and try to rely on them. Kissing is safe, for instance. Being sucked is safe. Sucking is considered safe as well, but perhaps not when you have ulcers in the mouth. Topping will condoms is very safe, and bottoming with condoms is generally safe. Hopefully, as you gain experience with no bad results, you will lose your fear.

I know all this, but I worry about ridicolous things, like kissing and semen or precum getting into my urethra, or giving a massage and having a small tiny little wound on my hand. The only way O feel safe is by being alone, yet I want to be in company. I am lonely, and this is why I do all this crazy stupid bullcrap

At least you seem well aware that your attitude towards sex is clearly irrational, paranoid and excessive... as you said seeking professional help is the best thing to do ... at this rate you're having sex what once a year?? Probably not even enjoying it and feeling guilty for weeks afterward... who can live a happy life in these conditions ??
Meanwhile time passes by.
Good luck to you, don't chicken out on seeking help.

I do not have sex... Not really. I am afraid of having sex, and I have trust issues too, so petting and mutual masturbation is about the farthes I dare to go with someone I do not trust. The problem is that I always try to find a way why am I infected.
I always find some excuse or explanation that would make it plausible that I got the virus.

And you are right I don't enjoy sex. What I want is intimacy, but I hardly seem to get any of that either.

[Adrock-JD]

Go talk to a doctor and get tested again if you're still worried about it.

[Coward92]

Go talk to a doctor and get tested again if you're still worried about it.

I will post an update 6 weeks later.

[Benvolio]

I think you should ask your Doctor to test your testosterone level. One of the functions of testosterone is to make men brave. Those with low levels tend to be excessively fearful. Excessive masturbation can have that effect, but you would probably realize that connection if it were the problem.

[Coward92]

I think you should ask your Doctor to test your testosterone level. One of the functions of testosterone is to make men brave. Those with low levels tend to be excessively fearful. Excessive masturbation can have that effect, but you would probably realize that connection if it were the problem.

I am brave. I face my fears. This is not about hormones, this is about mental and emotional problems.

[Coward92]

Okay guys, I am at the brink of collapsing.
This week I was at the anonym HIV centre and I gave them a blood sample. After I did I felt relief. I will get the result next thursday. I am getting increasingly nervous as time goes forward. I can't study, I can't sleep... I am driving myself crazy.
I just want to walk in there and get my negative results and get the hell out of there, neveer to return again.
I'm really scared now.

[sellotape123]

You are not alone in your paranoia over getting infected!
I would advise seeing a doctor and talking about your worries, there are people who can help you enjoy a healthy yet still responsible sex life. I too worry after having sex with a new partner, but beyond regular testing I don't really know what to do about it. I will talk to the doctor next time I get tested and post here if s/he says anything useful.
Good luck