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  1. #1

    Body Image Issues...

    Long time lurker, first time poster...

    So I can't help feeling like I've become more and more obsessed over my body/looks as I've become older. All I see in the mirror is my receding hairline, my womanly hips, and the fat I can't seem to lose. I find myself lying awake at night rather frequently thinking about my body.

    I'm 5'10" 148lbs. On paper, I think I would appear a normal weight, but in person I always look big. My hips are literally the same size as my tiny 36" chest, making me look like i have an hour-glass figure. I have huge thighs and stick-thin arms which just adds to the overall 'feminine' figure. On top of all of this, I can't seem to put on any muscle/tone. I recently lost >30lbs, but I still have fat around my stomach and hips I can't lose. I've tried diets, exercising 7x a week, I even ran 2 half-marathons in less than a month and I lost 0 of it!!

    Have any of y'all had these feelings? How did y'all overcome these thoughts and be happy with yourself?

    I guess tied into this is the fact that I am now 25, single, a virgin, never been on a date, never been kissed, no interest from other guys, etc etc. I feel like I've missed out so much on life. I swear being Asian in the gay community is the worst. Personally, I'm attracted to all races, but I've noticed gay Asians don't want even want other Asians!!

    Sorry for the little rant, but I'm just at my wit's end with my body. It would be one thing if I didn't exercise/diet, but having a body type/features I can't change just makes me very sad. Here's to plastic surgery in the near future...!
    ------------------------
    TL,DR: Have y'all had body image issues? If so, how did you deal with these thoughts?

    Thanks guys.

  2. #2
    Sex God Mr-Brooding's Avatar
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    Re: Body Image Issues...

    Hey, and welcome! I think we all have issues with our appearances, I know I do. The only way I truly got over most of mine are changing my looks or planning to change my looks (braces are expensive). Even though I am still in the process of changing, I really respect my body now and down demean it or compare it to others. I think progress just had a really good effect on me. Congrats on losing so much! That's amazing. I would recommend something like Insanity or P90X for toning.

    Realize that 25 is still young and that you have a lot of time left. Are you fully out? Do you approach other guys? These questions can help explain a lot. Your idea about Asians can be true for some, but not everyone! The same story goes for blacks. Some don't even want each other :/
    Again congrats and go0d luck!

  3. #3
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    Re: Body Image Issues...

    Quote Originally Posted by greatcars View Post
    Have y'all had body image issues? If so, how did you deal with these thoughts?
    I have them every day when I look into the mirror and they add to my motivation to train hard and get better.
    You donīt have to accept what your body looks like or how you are or whatever. You are the master of your life, no excuses. So if you are unhappy, change it.

    On top of all of this, I can't seem to put on any muscle/tone. I recently lost >30lbs, but I still have fat around my stomach and hips I can't lose. I've tried diets, exercising 7x a week, I even ran 2 half-marathons in less than a month and I lost 0 of it!!
    First of all, congratulations to losing 30lbs, that is quite a number. Depending on your overall percentage of fat, it is normal that you struggle to lose the last bit you want to get off since your body treasures fat. I am working on getting back my sixpack and it is a lot of hard work.

    When you say you excercised 7 times per week and didnīt get any muscle the answer is quite simple: You did it wrong. There are people who gain muscle quick and people who struggle with it, but there is no one who doesnīt change with excersise and diet.

    So work over your plan. You have to train AND rest AND eat right to get results. You find some very good threads in this subforum explaining all these three components, so dig in

    As for the whole asian-thingy, there are lots and lots of guys who prefer asian guys (like me). Perhaps you frequent the wrong locations, did you try online dating (grindr, adam4adam, gayromeo)? It might be easier for you to approach or get approached online at first before meeting with guys (it was for me, when I was 21 I was waaay to shy to go to a gay bar or anything like that).


    If you explain to us how you eat and exercise so far, we can probably give some advice how to improve that.

    And 25.... yeah I am 26 and I start to feel old sometimes, but the simple truth is that we are still young exercise, eat and live healthy and you can stay young for a very long time
    You donīt have a soul. You are a soul. What you have is a body.

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