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  1. #501
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Good morning Chrizze (afternoon for you I think).

    As Kulindahr suggested, some activities can give balance, contentment, a spark of occasional joy. If tree planting will never be a great passion for you, it is still worth discovering what else people do that can enrich life. So far, I don't know if it is a passion, but you certainly seem to enjoy music.

    I suggest asking people about their activities and also asking what they get out of it. In some cases our activities can bring joy and satisfaction. Other times it is more like brushing your teeth you know? Not so much for the joy of brushing but because it ensures the teeth will be healthier. I think having some activities and interests can similarly ensure benefits for mental health even if they don't seem immediately interesting.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  2. #502
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Yes,I think you are quite right about that.About them ensuring mental health.
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  3. #503
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    When someone shares a video in a serious thread, I always assume it;s a case of "here's is what I want to say, but this says it 'way better than I ever could".

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  4. #504
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    You are quite right,please accept my apologies,and I watched it now.Where that excerpt was taken from? Can you suggest something longer,that will discuss about this subject at hand.
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  5. #505
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    JohannBessler,have you left the building? I always appreciated your comments too.
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  6. #506

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrizze View Post
    You are quite right,please accept my apologies,and I watched it now.Where that excerpt was taken from? Can you suggest something longer,that will discuss about this subject at hand.
    what can hurt in relationships, even ones formed on chat sites such as this, is that a person can presume there has happened a kind of meeting of trust with the other person, especially when the subject is as personal as this. But your having to be told to checkout the video I shared has kinda hurt me a bit, because I had assumed that you respected my sharing stuff with you.

  7. #507
    Porn Star Chrizze's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I am sorry,my apologies.It was never my intention to show disrespect by disregarding
    some of your videos.I hope,that you still....."respect" me.
    Last edited by Chrizze; July 30th, 2013 at 03:12 AM.
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  8. #508

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Of course I do, and always will .

    I just feel it was good to be open how I feel.

    I am glad you came around to watching it. As far as I know Chrizze. regarding your previous question, I am not aware of a longer version of it--but will double check. But what he says is SO true isn't it? Many people are fearful of talking about killing themselves for fear of having theirrself 'supervised for their own good'. You become like an object. The LAST thing you want--at ANY time, especially when feeling so vulnerable.

  9. #509
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    My life would perhaps get better,It is possible,that I could enter opiate replacement therapy.
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  10. #510

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    That is just swapping one drug for another, IMO. I did voluntary work in a Needle Exchange some years ago, and met many users, and many told me that trying to come off methadone was even harder than heroin! They also stressed how the detox people treated them like shit.

    You know Chrizze, there is something that could really help you. Have you heard of Iboga?

  11. #511
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Ibogaine's a really good idea. It's an extract of a bush from somewhere in Africa, and it's used in treating opiate addictions. It doesn't take very long if I remember correctly, and usually with good results.

    I know it's not legal everywhere, but I just checked and it is legal in Finland.

    If you want to read some more basic info about it Google translate the English version of the page, as the Finnish one doesn't tell you much. That's just based on an assumption that you'd better understand the scientific parts in Finnish (which is also an assumption; you do speak Finnish, right?).

  12. #512
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Well,I know that,Ludolfo...but which one is better,to use my last pennies to drugs,or to get them free from government controlled program? Btw,we use Buprenorphine (which Iam intoxicated of right now),and methadone.Mightbe,so is cannabis legal,for decoration purposes,but try to explain that to rushing-in narc agents.If I don't know about Iboga,then The Pope is not catholics. . Whwre you got the idea,that it is legal in finland?Remember,we as continental europe in general,are having Roman law system,not common law,in finland this means,that anything,that is not expressly permitted,is denied.
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  13. #513
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I looked up its legal status, and every place told the same story. "Ibogaine and its constituents aren't controlled substances in Finland." Some said "unregulated" instead. Either way, it means the same thing.

    I did know that Finland uses civil law, like the rest of Europe, but some countries specifically allow it and others specifically do not. Finland, as I understand it, does neither. While it's generally true that in civil law that exceptions prove rules, it certainly wouldn't be inherently wrong for you to ask, just in case. As I understand it, Finnish law leaves a bit more room for interpretation than say, German law.

    And any form of possession of cannabis is explicitly outlawed in Finland, so I don't know where you were going with that.

  14. #514

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Well,I know that,Ludolfo...but which one is better,to use my last pennies to drugs,or to get them free from government controlled program? Btw,we use Buprenorphine (which Iam intoxicated of right now),and methadone.Mightbe,so is cannabis legal,for decoration purposes,but try to explain that to rushing-in narc agents.If I don't know about Iboga,then The Pope is not catholics. . Whwre you got the idea,that it is legal in finland?Remember,we as continental europe in general,are having Roman law system,not common law,in finland this means,that anything,that is not expressly permitted,is denied.
    I would say the choice you ask me about is not a good choice, and I would from my heart encourage you to save your pennies so you can have Iboga sacred healing ritual---or they may call it psychotherapy--because it was very powerful and will release you from this opiate habit, but from there you must also integrate this into daily life which might mean staying away from people and places etc who and which would incite you to take opiates again.

  15. #515
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Mightbe,I think,that you are right,it is "legal",probably because of lawmakers gross negligence. law's interpretation depends about your face,as it is everywhere,I guess.Ibogaine ritual is not a silver bullet,but it has some proven history of success.
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  16. #516
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Oh,where you will go with cannabis,arrested,and your home searched,without court order,even if you spent last evening in your friends house,where someone smoke occasional joint,and that smell is in your clothes,when couple of officers pass you by with K-9.for example,on rock concert,or something.
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  17. #517

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Yesterday I was watching a quiz show on TV, and the questions was 'name these countries named how they are by the native population'. One of them was Suomi. And I thought it sounded very exotic--like near Hawaii . Reminded me/got the image of Bali Hi (you know that song in the musical South Pacific?) And then found out it was 'Finland'....It made me confused. HOW can that word get translated to English as Finland ? lol

  18. #518
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by ludolfo View Post
    Yesterday I was watching a quiz show on TV, and the questions was 'name these countries named how they are by the native population'. One of them was Suomi. And I thought it sounded very exotic--like near Hawaii . Reminded me/got the image of Bali Hi (you know that song in the musical South Pacific?) And then found out it was 'Finland'....It made me confused. HOW can that word get translated to English as Finland ? lol
    No translation involved: foreigners called it Finland, in their language. IIRC, it was the Vikings who called it that -- sort of like how European immigrants renamed everything when they came to North America, regardless of what the natives called them.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  19. #519
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    - They DO still have a little debate about both names,lest their translation to each other ..or to anything. ...there is many good ones,in any language, I believe,take for an example of "Nauru", which means "laughter" in Finnish... "Maine" - "reputation.... Especially small placenames in India quite surely means something in Finnish.This would constitute a good humour thread somewhere else in here.feel free to introduce one.
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  20. #520
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I had read a book about this,..components,and phonemes,that once constitued "Finland",has been traced back to pan-indoeuropean protolanguage,... And the word is Pes-No. From which the word penis cames from,...so...if anyone lived here back then,our invaders called us a "men with huge cocks".how much more macho you can get?
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I guess the question to ask before I start packing my bags--is it true? Haha

    Isn't Suomi (or something like it) also what you call the language?

    Gotta say, Finland is kind of strange from an American perspective. The language is from the same family tree as Hungarian (Uralic family), and sits in its within a diverse subcategory. The trains run on Russian gauge (well, there's a good reason for that) and there are only a handful of Finns that Americans know about. And then Nokia.

    I can honestly say that I know very little about Finland. But if it's true that it's the land of huge cocks, that's a good start. Haha

  22. #522
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Yes,. "Suomen kieli" - "Languaguage of Finland". In single,...well,in Finnish language,it is usually not necessary to explicitly tell who is doing what to whom...it is understood implicitly. So depending on The context,"Suomi" could mean name of the language,state,nation,area of land,where we have been most of the time,etc...
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  23. #523
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Oh,you are particularly well-educated,..not take nokia as Japanese hungary and finnish has parted at least 3000yrs.ago...but estonian,and finnish,are like spanish and portuguese.
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  24. #524
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I like hearing it spoken.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  25. #525

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    This is VERY moving and powerful


  26. #526
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Indeed,moving,and powerful.By the way,have you taken ayahuasca,or ibogaine by yourself?
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  27. #527

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrizze View Post
    Indeed,moving,and powerful.By the way,have you taken ayahuasca,or ibogaine by yourself?
    No. I have had LSD and magic mushrooms by myself though.
    Are you considering trying them Chrizze?

  28. #528

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    true saying DRUGS ARE FOR MUGS

  29. #529
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    I have been taken LSD once,it was very good trip.hard to find with my current "connections".
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  30. #530

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrizze View Post
    I have been taken LSD once,it was very good trip.hard to find with my current "connections".

    Do magic mushrooms grow over there?..............just checked, they do
    You also can order magic truffles from Holland.

  31. #531
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Yes,they do grow over here,but hard to find,I should seek someone,who know where,and is able to recognize them.But I know,that I will go into that maintenance program,if I will be accepted.
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  32. #532
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by mightbe View Post
    That's just based on an assumption that you'd better understand the scientific parts in Finnish (which is also an assumption; you do speak Finnish, right?).
    Quite the opposite,I understand scientific English better than anything; I can talk with you about astronomy,or nuclear science,but suddenly,don't remember the word for some everyday object...as happened with my American friend..I showed part of the door,"what's that thing is in english?" It was "hinge".
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  33. #533

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrizze View Post
    Yes,they do grow over here,but hard to find,I should seek someone,who know where,and is able to recognize them.But I know,that I will go into that maintenance program,if I will be accepted.
    sorry Chrizze,,, what maintenance program do you mean?

  34. #534
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    That Opiate replacement therapy,..I used terms interchangeably.I did not remember at the moment of writing,that I used term "opiate replacement therapy".
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    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    There will now be a six month's evaluation period,about what medical,and social services would be required and necessary for me,one thing in that was "must evaluate need,and fitfullness to opiate maintenance therapy" - excerpt from doctor's order.
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  36. #536

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrizze View Post
    Well,at that time just anything caused controversy.. Perhaps that empowering effect is due to the discrepancy between the music style,and message..But this song does not make me to think slicing my wrists either.. But the "message" is still something,that..I would say,is not what I feel particularly now,..but rather,a view I have had about the life a long time."game of life is hard to play,I'm going to lose it anyway"..etc
    Hey Chrizze, thought you'd be interested in this:
    Last edited by ludolfo; September 21st, 2013 at 01:56 AM.

  37. #537

    Re: Suicide attempt,that almost succeeded.But I only wanted pain to stop


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