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  1. #51
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    So much outrage over the video I forget to say this about Tom & Shane. What a truly goregous couple they were,outside and inside.

  2. #52
    summerboy24
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I hate to be the one to have to say this...but is it just me, or does the whole thing seem a bit dramatic? I mean, of course it is a really awful situation, no one can deny that; but the editing of this video is too much. Imagine creating this video, editing yourself to be crying in slow motion as a violin plays, including clips of yourself sobbing...I don't know, I think I would have more decency not to do that, somehow creating a sympathy provoking video doesn't seem like mourning.

  3. #53
    JUB Addict operafan's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I think we mourn in different ways. I hope this video was cathartic for him.
    Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard

  4. #54
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    ChickenGuy's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by summerboy24 View Post
    I hate to be the one to have to say this...but is it just me, or does the whole thing seem a bit dramatic? I mean, of course it is a really awful situation, no one can deny that; but the editing of this video is too much. Imagine creating this video, editing yourself to be crying in slow motion as a violin plays, including clips of yourself sobbing...I don't know, I think I would have more decency not to do that, somehow creating a sympathy provoking video doesn't seem like mourning.
    You do have a point, in that I think he could have been upfront about it being an accidental fall rather than implying it was a suicide driven by his parents, but on the other hand, he is understandably going to be angry and furious at them, considering their appalling treatment of him, but yes, a more measured and factual account would I think have been a bit better.

    I'm afraid it's become a common trait amongst YouTube videos and reality TV shows to really go overboard on TELLING YOU what emotion you're supposed to be feeling. It's as if they don't trust you to make your own mind up, or don't seem to think that you can come to the correct conclusion by yourself.

    In this case, I can easily have enormous sympathy for his loss and disgust at his parents WITHOUT it being so forcefully implied to me in the vid. Going too far in that direction can sometimes render stories false and manufactured.

  5. #55
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I didn't need the violins and all to understand/feel his pain.

  6. #56

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguyen View Post
    I like to think of mourning and surviving like being adrift in an ocean, some waves are bigger than others, some come in quicker intervals, some take awhile, and the only thing you can do is hold on and just ride it out and wait -- wait for the next wave, and eventually, the waves get smaller and smaller, and the intervals are longer, but they're still there... and you still feel them.
    Very nicely explained Penguyen

  7. #57

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by summerboy24 View Post
    I hate to be the one to have to say this...but is it just me, or does the whole thing seem a bit dramatic? I mean, of course it is a really awful situation, no one can deny that; but the editing of this video is too much. Imagine creating this video, editing yourself to be crying in slow motion as a violin plays, including clips of yourself sobbing...I don't know, I think I would have more decency not to do that, somehow creating a sympathy provoking video doesn't seem like mourning.
    I was thinking that but I didnt want to say anything...but it is still very sad.

  8. #58
    summerboy24
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickenGuy View Post
    You do have a point, in that I think he could have been upfront about it being an accidental fall rather than implying it was a suicide driven by his parents, but on the other hand, he is understandably going to be angry and furious at them, considering their appalling treatment of him, but yes, a more measured and factual account would I think have been a bit better.

    I'm afraid it's become a common trait amongst YouTube videos and reality TV shows to really go overboard on TELLING YOU what emotion you're supposed to be feeling. It's as if they don't trust you to make your own mind up, or don't seem to think that you can come to the correct conclusion by yourself.

    In this case, I can easily have enormous sympathy for his loss and disgust at his parents WITHOUT it being so forcefully implied to me in the vid. Going too far in that direction can sometimes render stories false and manufactured.
    Exactly. If the point of the video was to be a warning sign to gay men to create wills with their partners then the message could have been communicated clearly...I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to be questioning whether or not he killed himself or getting the actual message/point of the video. It almost feels like he doesn't just want the viewer to be sorry for him, but he wants the viewer to feel REALLLLY sorry for him.

  9. #59
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Or maybe the video was done the way it was to drive the point home.

  10. #60
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguyen View Post
    I like to think of mourning and surviving like being adrift in an ocean, some waves are bigger than others, some come in quicker intervals, some take awhile, and the only thing you can do is hold on and just ride it out and wait -- wait for the next wave, and eventually, the waves get smaller and smaller, and the intervals are longer, but they're still there... and you still feel them.
    Especially the ones that smack you up against the rocks. I function completly normal in all aspects of my life. Deep inside I feel adrift alot of the times, although no one would know that.

    The video may have been a little over the top for some, but what he's feeling is hard to understand unless you have been through it.

  11. #61
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I watched that video on Facebook the other day. It left me numb. I will never understand the hatred some people hold for their own children because of what fundamentally boils down to what they do with their genitals. Defining a whole person by who they love is ridiculous to me. I am so lucky my parents never even blinked an eye when I came out. I know that if anything were to happen to me and I was in a relationship they'd honour that relationship as much as they would if my partner had been female.

    My heart breaks for the guy in the video. I will never understand how any human could treat another so badly. Reminds me of the opening scene in A Single Man and despite that being a movie I had the same mind numbing reaction.

  12. #62
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    indeed Raven..and the saddest thing. Far too many people still believe that someone who is anti-gay due to religious beliefs will magically or slowly change if their child/relative comes out. I'm sure we can all attest to knowing that isn't the case. To families like Tom's and my friend Zach whom I mentioned a page ago,nothing will trump their religious beliefs. And if that means throwing your child out of the house onto the streets,telling him/her they wish they were dead etc..so be it.
    Jeebus will reward them when they get to Heaven or so they think.

  13. #63
    summerboy24
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    this story is so tragic on its own i don't think any points need to be driven home

  14. #64
    Enchanted
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    There are so many similar videos on you tube,but for some reason none touched me like this one.Not only because of the equal rights propaganda,but also because the fact that someone so beautiful,charismatic,young and full of live lost his life RIP Tom.I don't know you,but i love you.

  15. #65

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    So here is an opportunity to help: *** link removed *** Please take a moment to at least consider making a pledge. It will help society realize that homosexuality is much more than the sexuality part.

    Moderator note:The link contained one of our censored words - however the link can be found in the 'Description' of the video on YouTube in the opening post of this thread.
    Last edited by quasar; July 3rd, 2012 at 10:08 AM. Reason: faulty link

  16. #66
    Sex God blublud's Avatar
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    The Bridegroom

    This story, the vid, had been posted on youtube at

    sometime back. Now, they're making a full, professional production of the story. They still need a few donations that will be cut off on July 19.

    Read about it here:

    BRIDEGROOM - An American Love Story by Linda Bloodworth ******** — Kickstarter
    Last edited by blublud; July 9th, 2012 at 11:44 AM.

  17. #67
    Kien
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    Re: The Bridegroom

    I remember watching this a month or two ago. Really sad and also infuriating :/

  18. #68
    THE FLIRT JUB Moderator ronboy's Avatar
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    Re: The Bridegroom

    It sure is an eye-opener for anyone who doesn't realize how important gay marriage really is.

    When two people commit to each other, and form a bond, marriage ensures the legal rights of each partner so that this type of closed-minded, homophobic crap doesn't happen.


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

  19. #69
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: The Bridegroom

    never had any idea that thomas bridgegroom was gay seeing him on the x effect. however, i realized that dude probably was gay upon stumbling on his youtube videos with him singing britney spears on the piano and stuff. crazy how he died though and how his family treated him. horrific.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  20. #70
    still gluten free chrisrobin's Avatar
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    The Best Case for Marriage Equality

    .
    Many hyperlinks:

    http://www.bing.com/search?q=bridegr...7&ShowAppsUI=1



    I heard about this film on my radio yesterday. I posted the above while trying to hold back the tears. I really admire the surviving partner for being willing to make the documentary after all he had/has to go through.

    Bridegroom will be released this November and be available for streaming.

    Here's the trailer:

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...ail&FORM=VIRE5

    Marriage equality now and forever!


  21. #71
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    Bridegroom

    I'm surprised no one posted about this yet...



    It hit Netflix instant stream this morning and it had me crying like baby. Such a beautiful and tragic story. I suggest that you all give it a go.

    And if any of you have watched it, what did you think?

  22. #72
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    Re: Bridegroom

    Okay, so apparently there was a dormant thread about this before my post got merged. Either way, I know the "It Can Happen To You" vid was heavy handed in it's execution, but the actual documentary is well done and heartbreaking.

  23. #73
    JUB Addict jensu846's Avatar
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    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    The documentary "Bridegroom" is on right now on the OWN Network. (Oprah Winfrey Network) I am watching it. It is absolutely unbelievably sad.

  24. #74
    JUB Addict Ohiospeedo's Avatar
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    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    Just watched it. Heartbreaking and sad. Truly sad that Tom's parents are still being self delusional about the whole thing. I tried looking around to see if the media had followup with the parents, and didn't find anything.

  25. #75

    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiospeedo View Post
    Just watched it. Heartbreaking and sad. Truly sad that Tom's parents are still being self delusional about the whole thing. I tried looking around to see if the media had followup with the parents, and didn't find anything.
    Tom's parents have refused all requests for interviews, although some of Tom's other family members have contacted Shane and voiced their support.

  26. #76
    Sex God
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    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    I just finished watching it and it is very heartbreaking and sad. It's sad that Tom's parents are still unaccepting about their son and his relationship with Shane.

  27. #77
    still gluten free chrisrobin's Avatar
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    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    .
    Does anyone have "Redbox" - movie rental dispensers nearby? I was both surprised and glad that Bridegroom is available in Redbox dispensers. Good for them!


  28. #78

    Re: The Bridegroom [merged]

    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrobin View Post
    .
    Does anyone have "Redbox" - movie rental dispensers nearby? I was both surprised and glad that Bridegroom is available in Redbox dispensers. Good for them!
    And a portion of rental profits go to HRC!!!

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