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  1. #1
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    The Bridegroom [merged]



    Could barely make it through the video without crying at certain times, and being outraged all at once. And the sad thing is,this story has happened over and over again. The sad truth is,these two could have taken all the legal steps to protect themselves..and in many cases it's still not enough.
    And for the life of me,I will never,EVER understand how a parent could reject their own flesh and blood but we see it again and again,often from people who profess to be "loving" Christians.
    Mr and Mrs. Bridegroom,you both are miserables pieces of flesh. I hope you see your son at the pearly gates..before you both get dropped into hell.

  2. #2
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    From someone who also lost the love of his life, I can't breathe.

  3. #3
    JUB Addict operafan's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I was going to post this as well. Thanks, Ninja for spreading the word. I only hope Tom's parents/relatives see this -- but I'm sure they won't.
    Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard

  4. #4
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    didn't dude die a year ago from a freak accident while taking photos of some model on top of a building? i remember dude from the x effect on mtv when it aired and yeah, dude was hot despite kind of seeming a bit awkward for a tv host like he was reading cue cards or remembering his lines. but yeah, that's still fucked up how he died though.

    i didn't know he was gay though. not that it's a big deal but i've had my suspicions when i peeped his myspace way back when he was still in the public eye and he would talk about his spending time with "his friend".
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  5. #5
    Sex God PKMO's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Such a sad story, and proof things need to change.

    What horrible human beings his family are.

  6. #6
    JUB Addict EuroSoccer's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Thanks Ninja, that was awesome

  7. #7
    Are you man enough? unloadonme's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Having a will is a sensible thing to do, but this case is another example of why people have fought for gay marriage (or civil partnership, call it what you will) and continue to fight for it in the US and elsewhere. If you're married to your lover, you become his legal next of kin. Bigoted family members like the Bridegrooms lose the right to take over in death and airbrush your homosexuality out of history.

  8. #8
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Sad thing is..domestic partnerships would have only been good for them in CA. In many states they would travel to,they'd be complete strangers despite all the paperwork they would have. This is why marriage equality is so important.
    As for Tom's family..I hope they end up like the parents of one of my friends did. They threw him out on the streets when he was 16 and told him they would have rather have a dead son than a gay one.
    Long story short,twelve years later he's healthy and living with his bf of several years when his father calls him and tells him they both lost their jobs and are in danger of losing their home. "Zach" told his father good and to go to hell. You reap what you sow.

  9. #9
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    here reccyle fa world body of a so call civil li zation

    civil lie zation got lot work a do catch up ta --------

    ans no just humans wear human cause it there day job

    there go

    thankyou
    shabadaba shabadabababa oohwawaaaaawaaaaa shabadaba
    baba

  10. #10
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I cried then got angry then cried again..Its one thing to be bullied but when the bully becomes your parents..well thats so wrong on so many levels..And yes ever person (not just couples) should have a will...We have a Living Will,Power of Attorney and a regular will..our relatives each have a copy of it so they know they cant change what w want done in the event of death..I lost my first husband after 2 years together and even though I have moved on there are days when he comes back to me in memories..So for all those who have lost loved ones I would like to share this..I dont know the author..I thought of you today,But that is nothing new.I thought about you yesterday,And days before that to.I think of you in silence,I often speak your name. All I have is memories,And pictures in a frame.Your memory is a keepsake,From which I'll never part.God holds you in his arms,But I have you in my heart..RIP Tom

  11. #11
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Good god what selfish parents. I can't believe that they chose blind hatred over what should have been love for their son. They went out of their way to deny him happiness. Truly awful people. Well I'm very glad that the vid was made and broadcast to the world. They can't pretend to deny the past and what their son's life was. They should be ashamed of themselves.

    So was Tom's death a suicide, or was it as refuji says an accidental fall? I know that it's somewhat beside the point, but I'm just curious.

  12. #12

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickenGuy View Post
    Good god what selfish parents. I can't believe that they chose blind hatred over what should have been love for their son. They went out of their way to deny him happiness. Truly awful people. Well I'm very glad that the vid was made and broadcast to the world. They can't pretend to deny the past and what their son's life was. They should be ashamed of themselves.

    So was Tom's death a suicide, or was it as refuji says an accidental fall? I know that it's somewhat beside the point, but I'm just curious.
    Accidental. He was photographing a model on a rooftop, leaned back to far to get the shot and tripped and fell over the edge.

    Thomas Bridegroom - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

  13. #13
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Thanks for sharing this video. Very touching and even stronger message.

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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by coscott75 View Post
    Accidental. He was photographing a model on a rooftop, leaned back to far to get the shot and tripped and fell over the edge.

    Thomas Bridegroom - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Thanks for clarifying that..I thought maybe his parents words and actions just got to him..

  15. #15
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Despite what anyone says, being gay is not a choice. It is a choice, however, to hate your child if he is gay. How does the love you have for your child, suddenly turn to hate? How do you turn off love?? There is only one way to do that--you never had any love in you to begin with.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  16. #16
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    How absolutely heartbreaking. I don't understand how, in a country thar screams equality, shit like that can go on. It is absolutely, incredibly hipocritical to say the least. In Canada same sex marriage has been legal for years and discrimination from sexual orientation protected under our Charter Of Rights and Freedoms since 1977. I can't comprehend how The United States Of America is still trying to deny gays equal rights.


  17. #17
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    Despite what anyone says, being gay is not a choice.
    One's sexuality being a choice or not is not the issue. One's freedom of choice is. In a truly free society, you'd be able to make a choice if you want to.

  18. #18
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    Despite what anyone says, being gay is not a choice. It is a choice, however, to hate your child if he is gay. How does the love you have for your child, suddenly turn to hate? How do you turn off love?? There is only one way to do that--you never had any love in you to begin with.
    That's exactly how I feel. And for the life of me,I can't understand how something written in a book would trump the love for your own child.

  19. #19
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by mikey3000 View Post
    One's sexuality being a choice or not is not the issue. One's freedom of choice is. In a truly free society, you'd be able to make a choice if you want to.


    I didn't say it was the issue. I was trying to say hate was the issue. Had his parents not behaved in a hateful way toward their son, the son's partner could have dealt with the death instead of all the additional pain they heaped on him by their hatefulness.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  20. #20
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Sorry, I just get worked up when people talk about homosexuality like it's some kind of defect.

    "He can't help it, he was born that way, poor guy."

    No thank you! If I can choose where I live, what I do for a living and what I want to do with my life, I sure as heck better be able to choose who I spend that life with. Just my two cents.

  21. #21
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Now the story is tragic.
    Is someone going to take Tom's parents to court for hate crime ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  22. #22
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Ninja108 View Post
    Sad thing is..domestic partnerships would have only been good for them in CA. In many states they would travel to,they'd be complete strangers despite all the paperwork they would have. This is why marriage equality is so important.
    As for Tom's family..I hope they end up like the parents of one of my friends did. They threw him out on the streets when he was 16 and told him they would have rather have a dead son than a gay one.
    Long story short,twelve years later he's healthy and living with his bf of several years when his father calls him and tells him they both lost their jobs and are in danger of losing their home. "Zach" told his father good and to go to hell. You reap what you sow
    .
    I love this story and yes i hope Tom's parents lost their jobs, lost their home and live on the street.


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  23. #23
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    In the USA, discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation doesn't exist according to the courts. If it did, Westboro Baptist would have been shut down years ago. It's called freedon of speech.

  24. #24
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Ninja108 View Post
    As for Tom's family..I hope they end up like the parents of one of my friends did. They threw him out on the streets when he was 16 and told him they would have rather have a dead son than a gay one.
    Long story short,twelve years later he's healthy and living with his bf of several years when his father calls him and tells him they both lost their jobs and are in danger of losing their home. "Zach" told his father good and to go to hell


  25. #25

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    It's unbelievable that the family threatened Shane not to go to the funeral. When he visited the grave, I just lost it
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  26. #26
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I learned a long time ago that when it comes to anti-gay religions,NOTHING will change their minds,not even having a son or daughter that is gay or lesbian.
    Tom's parents are sadly not uncommmon,and they don't think they did anything wrong,that's the worst part.

  27. #27
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Did anyone else feel a bit "better" about this ordeal because he didn't die of suicide? I really thought he jumped off that roof but at least it was a tragic accident and he did not let his parents win by taking his own life. These types of sad family dramas occur all the time when parents do not approve their children's marriages or relationships. I know a woman who has not seen or spoken to her brothers and her own mother for 18 years now because they did not approve the man she married and disowned her for that. I strongly believe that Tom's parents are not at peace and will not be at peace till their graves.

  28. #28
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by RaKroma View Post
    Did anyone else feel a bit "better" about this ordeal because he didn't die of suicide? I really thought he jumped off that roof but at least it was a tragic accident and he did not let his parents win by taking his own life. These types of sad family dramas occur all the time when parents do not approve their children's marriages or relationships. I know a woman who has not seen or spoken to her brothers and her own mother for 18 years now because they did not approve the man she married and disowned her for that. I strongly believe that Tom's parents are not at peace and will not be at peace till their graves.
    uhhhhhhhhh.... honestly, i don't think that tom's parents wanted him to die. they're just ignorant towards what being gay is and their actions is a result of that. even though you might think i'm full of shit in saying this, i think they just wanted what was best for him just like any other parent outthere. but yeah, i agree with you on them not being at peace with themselves because their son is dead and there's no way that they can take back the things that they said or did to him.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  29. #29
    Sex God PKMO's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    uhhhhhhhhh.... honestly, i don't think that tom's parents wanted him to die. they're just ignorant towards what being gay is and their actions is a result of that. even though you might think i'm full of shit in saying this, i think they just wanted what was best for him just like any other parent outthere.
    His dad attacked him and threatened him with a gun.

    They've got a funny way of showing they wanted the best for him.

  30. #30
    Suck my dick, Scalia! FuryOfFirestorm's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    My condolences and my heart goes out to Shane.

    Tom's parents should be stabbed in the genitals with a rusty screwdriver, repeatedly.

    Especially the mother. She disowns her son, then picks through his belongings and bank account before his body gets cold? FUCK THAT BITCH.

  31. #31
    JUB Addict honooryuu's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    i have already posted this to my Facebook. stuff like this is sad... for the family to disown because of who you love...
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic252537_2.gif

  32. #32
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by PKMO View Post
    His dad attacked him and threatened him with a gun.

    They've got a funny way of showing they wanted the best for him.
    well... who knows. i guess they thought that beating him up and threatening him with his life would scare the "gay" out of him.

    i just think that with homophobes and with prejudiced people. even though this might sound crazy, you have to show them mercy because they're ignorant and they just don't get it. you know, they were raised and taught that it wasn't okay to be gay and i guess, with the death of their son, they're probably going to have to reexamine their views now.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  33. #33
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I sadly know several gays and lesbians who have been disowned. My bf and I have the paperwork but we are lucky to have two loving families who will be behind us always.
    Many sadly don't.

  34. #34
    Suck my dick, Scalia! FuryOfFirestorm's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Just a thought: The video said that Shane and Tom shared a business and a mortgage, but no will. Do Tom's parents have any legal claim on Tom's half of the home and business? Tom's fuckwad parents expected Shane to pay for the funeral, then didn't let him attend, so I'm sure those greedy assholes would love to fuck over Shane some more and get free money in the process.

  35. #35
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    There is no heaven or hell anyone who believes in any God is an idiot. This what all religions have done to control people Straight Bi or gay. When my partner and I lived in the States we have to have not only wills but power of attorneys just to see a partner in Intensive care, to be able to get there body for a funeral for everything. We now live in and have dual citizenship in England. We are civil partners and unlike the states that do have partnerships we have all the benefits that married people have. In the case of the U.S. you do not even get the lousy $200 or so that Social Security gives for funeral expenses because your partnership is shit in the states. I will never live there again no matter what happens. As to his parents there is no hell and they have no clue.

  36. #36
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    There is no heaven or hell anyone who believes in any God is an idiot. This is what all religions have done to control people Straight Bi or gay. When my partner and I lived in the States we had to have not only wills but powers of attorneys just to see a partner in Intensive care, to be able to get there body for a funeral for everything. We now live in and have dual citizenship in England. We are civil partners and unlike the states that do have partnerships we have all the benefits that married people have. In the case of the U.S. you do not even get the lousy $200 or so that Social Security gives for funeral expenses because your partnership is shit in the states. I will never live there again no matter what happens. As to his parents there is no hell and they have no clue. They have been brain washed.

  37. #37
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    relgion ans brainwashin

    all relgions mean gangs of males world ova playin dressup
    ans othda gangs a males of many labels make arrange ments with
    or woteva get um their bit of wank or hide their pissy asses

    from little boys grow spineless pissy nothins froms Lands long dead ta anythang

    people of so lands sit on asses playin their own wank wot pay fa by life

    is much shit lands got wipe their faces offs

    well this was nice
    @ so wot happen 22 nd century? @
    dat classfied

    thankyou
    shabadaba shabadabababa oohwawaaaaawaaaaa shabadaba
    baba

  38. #38
    Virgin Penguyen's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I balled my eyes out watching this video, it's making the rounds around my friends now. I can't even imagine what I would do if I were him. I remember a few years back when my heart was broken, how I was -- it wasn't pretty. To have a six year relationship and a home together -- I'd probably just go numb and become a recluse.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by joswanprince View Post
    I understand your anger and frustration over there but you ought not to add this part:

    Because that's not making us better than straighties
    SOrry,I disagree. They are scum and should be known as such.

  40. #40
    GAYVIATOR ibill1's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguyen View Post
    I balled my eyes out watching this video, it's making the rounds around my friends now. I can't even imagine what I would do if I were him. I remember a few years back when my heart was broken, how I was -- it wasn't pretty. To have a six year relationship and a home together -- I'd probably just go numb and become a recluse.
    That is what I did, for almost a year.

  41. #41
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by joswanprince View Post
    I understand your anger and frustration over there but you ought not to add this part:

    Because that's not making us better than straighties
    Better that straighties? How about better than biggots?

  42. #42
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by ibill1 View Post
    That is what I did, for almost a year.
    I like to think of mourning and surviving like being adrift in an ocean, some waves are bigger than others, some come in quicker intervals, some take awhile, and the only thing you can do is hold on and just ride it out and wait -- wait for the next wave, and eventually, the waves get smaller and smaller, and the intervals are longer, but they're still there... and you still feel them.

  43. #43
    JUB Addict Ninja108's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    So much outrage over the video I forget to say this about Tom & Shane. What a truly goregous couple they were,outside and inside.

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    JUB Addict operafan's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I think we mourn in different ways. I hope this video was cathartic for him.
    Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard

  45. #45
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by summerboy24 View Post
    I hate to be the one to have to say this...but is it just me, or does the whole thing seem a bit dramatic? I mean, of course it is a really awful situation, no one can deny that; but the editing of this video is too much. Imagine creating this video, editing yourself to be crying in slow motion as a violin plays, including clips of yourself sobbing...I don't know, I think I would have more decency not to do that, somehow creating a sympathy provoking video doesn't seem like mourning.
    You do have a point, in that I think he could have been upfront about it being an accidental fall rather than implying it was a suicide driven by his parents, but on the other hand, he is understandably going to be angry and furious at them, considering their appalling treatment of him, but yes, a more measured and factual account would I think have been a bit better.

    I'm afraid it's become a common trait amongst YouTube videos and reality TV shows to really go overboard on TELLING YOU what emotion you're supposed to be feeling. It's as if they don't trust you to make your own mind up, or don't seem to think that you can come to the correct conclusion by yourself.

    In this case, I can easily have enormous sympathy for his loss and disgust at his parents WITHOUT it being so forcefully implied to me in the vid. Going too far in that direction can sometimes render stories false and manufactured.

  46. #46

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguyen View Post
    I like to think of mourning and surviving like being adrift in an ocean, some waves are bigger than others, some come in quicker intervals, some take awhile, and the only thing you can do is hold on and just ride it out and wait -- wait for the next wave, and eventually, the waves get smaller and smaller, and the intervals are longer, but they're still there... and you still feel them.
    Very nicely explained Penguyen

  47. #47

    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by summerboy24 View Post
    I hate to be the one to have to say this...but is it just me, or does the whole thing seem a bit dramatic? I mean, of course it is a really awful situation, no one can deny that; but the editing of this video is too much. Imagine creating this video, editing yourself to be crying in slow motion as a violin plays, including clips of yourself sobbing...I don't know, I think I would have more decency not to do that, somehow creating a sympathy provoking video doesn't seem like mourning.
    I was thinking that but I didnt want to say anything...but it is still very sad.

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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Or maybe the video was done the way it was to drive the point home.

  49. #49
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    Quote Originally Posted by Penguyen View Post
    I like to think of mourning and surviving like being adrift in an ocean, some waves are bigger than others, some come in quicker intervals, some take awhile, and the only thing you can do is hold on and just ride it out and wait -- wait for the next wave, and eventually, the waves get smaller and smaller, and the intervals are longer, but they're still there... and you still feel them.
    Especially the ones that smack you up against the rocks. I function completly normal in all aspects of my life. Deep inside I feel adrift alot of the times, although no one would know that.

    The video may have been a little over the top for some, but what he's feeling is hard to understand unless you have been through it.

  50. #50
    Young at Heart ravenstar's Avatar
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    Re: Heartbreaking video and a warning to us all

    I watched that video on Facebook the other day. It left me numb. I will never understand the hatred some people hold for their own children because of what fundamentally boils down to what they do with their genitals. Defining a whole person by who they love is ridiculous to me. I am so lucky my parents never even blinked an eye when I came out. I know that if anything were to happen to me and I was in a relationship they'd honour that relationship as much as they would if my partner had been female.

    My heart breaks for the guy in the video. I will never understand how any human could treat another so badly. Reminds me of the opening scene in A Single Man and despite that being a movie I had the same mind numbing reaction.

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