Importance of porn for young gay men.

[hmarsrob]

I am writing an article about the relevance of porn to the gay youth of today. Do you still think it holds the place it once did for older generations? I’m 47 and came of age at the height of the AIDS crisis and the only; and the first positive images I saw o of gay men were in porn. I was in a small country town but as soon as I could I sought out porn. In it I saw beautiful young men having sex in a loving way. Before this all I had seen were diseased AIDS patients and I thought that must be where I was headed. In fact even as a youth before AIDS I felt that being gay meant I would be a sad and lonely pathetic creature. This was the image despite the fact I grew up in a tolerant household. The first gay characters I can remember seeing were the ones in a TV replay of the Boys in The Band.
I wonder if now that young western gays have positive role models from Glee and other shows or gay singers and actors, whether gay porn still performs the function it did for me with the youth of today. Perhaps I am unique in my experience but I don’t think so. Now that porn is almost ubiquitous is it just like wallpaper for gay youth or is it still a positive thing.
In fact I wonder if it has the opposite effect by encouraging barebacking. I’d be interested in anyone’s experience and opinions.

[Jupiter Street]

I'm in my late 20s, a millenial at that, but I've seen a lot of really great queer films (I call it "queer" not as an offense but because this branch of films originates from what film studies call "queer cinema"). I've seen Torch Song Trilogy, Making Love, To Wong Foo, The Living End and I can go on and on.

To me, they collectively spell "struggle." Regardless of how beautiful the characters are on screen (as in the case of Keanu Reeves in Idaho) or how devastated they are (as in Tom Hanks in Philadelphia).

Those are the images that shaped me and I'm sure with other people.

But NOT porn.

Gay porn, like straight porn, appeals to our voyeuristic tendencies. These tendencies can either be sexual or morbid. Regardless, they apply to all individuals regardless of orientation.

Actually, I keep on remembering this long-debated issue of violence on television and gaming on children. It's the same way as sex, hardcore or softcore.

Some children have lived in real-life violent situations, and they lived normal lives. Of course, there are FACTORS involved, and mass media is just one of them.

[jfrankie]

I can see that without many places in culture for gay eroticism, porn is essentially the only place where gay people can turn to for that aspect of their identity. Heterosexual eroticism is mainstreamed and can be seen in commercials and you can hear it songs. It's everywhere. It's pervasive. Gay eroticism remains subversive. So, porn is normalizing for the subculture -- it makes us feel like there is indeed a normal erotic reality.

[Singularity]

^ To add to jfrankies comment, gay porn has become a way for young men to explore their own sexuality without having to fall out of the closet. Especially the gay-for-pay craze momentarily gives young men the opportunity to jump on the bandwagon, experience sex with another guy in many, many ways, collect the money and go home to their "normal" heteronormative lives.

[Corny]

Porn is what made me realize/know that I am gay. But porn had little to do with the other side of self-identification. The first positive (or better: "real") images of gay men that I experienced were other gay men from an online forum (not this one) - and the characters of the movie "Beautiful thing".

[EJMichaels]

I'm not in the target age group or gender, but I'll comment anyway. In the past, porn and related materials were what sexual minorities had available. Coming out as a lesbian in the late 70's and as kinky in the 80's, there wasn't much information available for me. Now, with the internet, there's so much more than just porn - places like JUB, blogs, digital books other than porn, etc. Porn still has a place, but I imagine it's a bit different in both content and relevance for identity.

[elGeniuoso1721]

I'm currently 19, came out as bisexual two years ago, and just came out as gay 8 months ago. But I've been looking at gay porn since high school, maybe a little before that. Porn was the only way I could secretly explore my feelings, because the first feelings I noticed were purely physical/sexual. It was the beginning of my self-discovery. After I was sure of my sexual feelings towards men, I tried acknowledging them and accepting them, while hoping they would go away. Then I developed my first crush on a guy, and got more confused.

Porn physically satisfied me, but I did experience what the OP saw: men together in a loving way. Sure they are just actors, and lots of porn are scenes of quick fucking and whatever, but there are also videos and pictures where you can see chemistry, connection, and passion. I started to realize that I could potentially have that passion with another man. But I needed to know more about the emotional aspects and forming a relationship with another man. Through porn I found JUB, where I was able to read others' experiences, ask for advice, and look at porn all on one site! And of course the Internet in general allowed me to research more and find things like It Gets Better, Human Rights Campaign, coming out stories, etc.

I feel like a lot of closeted guys start this way. Since you can delete Internet history, it's easy to secretly satisfy your sexual curiosity. It's a beginning to exploring that part of your individual identity.

I'm not saying ALL men experience it this way, but I would argue a vast majority do, considering how easily accessible porn is nowadays too. You can't find porn on YouTube, but you can find guys kissing or making-out.

[hmarsrob]

Thanks guys and girls. This is very useful and eye opening. I had not even considered the growth of mainstream queer films, which really there were almost none of in my time. As I said, The Boys in The Band, and Cruising - but nothing positive.
I also hadn't considered the networking and access to gay communities that the internet has given gay youth - apart from porn. It's interesting that someone of my generation who is s o used to isolation and takes it for granted didn't even consider that.
I guess in the age of AIDS i was desperately seeking an image that wasn't of horrible death and hateful epithets to which i could attach my budding gay identity. I'm glad porn was there - apart from anything else it probably kept me alive.
I am beginning to see that porn still has a major role to play in gay culture and identity, but that it is changing from the way it once was.
Now it's so ubiquitous and there are so many mainstream images and representations of gay life I guess it may have lost some of its potency and importance.
Thanks again for this and any other feedback.

[PhunkSpunk]

That girls at puberty may find
The first Adam in their thought,
Shut the door of the Pope's chapel,
Keep those children out.

I think Yeats' point is well taken. Pornography may set up unrealistic expectations.

[altlover85]

Porn is what made me realize/know that I am gay. But porn had little to do with the other side of self-identification. The first positive (or better: "real") images of gay men that I experienced were other gay men from an online forum (not this one) - and the characters of the movie "Beautiful thing".

I basically agree with Corny here. Porn helped me understand that I was attracted to men and not attracted to women, but in order to understand what it was like to be gay, I had to go to other sources.

For me, it was talk shows and Beautiful Thing.

[Singularity]

I am beginning to see that porn still has a major role to play in gay culture and identity, but that it is changing from the way it once was.
Now it's so ubiquitous and there are so many mainstream images and representations of gay life I guess it may have lost some of its potency and importance.
Thanks again for this and any other feedback.

I think Yeats' point is well taken. Pornography may set up unrealistic expectations.

Porn does set up unrealistic or at least unnecessary expectations in youth - gay or straight. However, there is far more pressure on gay and bisexual men to keep up with their "idols/ideals", which at the moment they can only find in porn since the mainstream media is still avoiding to include homosexual needs and attraction in their products, unless it's for comic relief.

On another note, this is why most mainstream gay erotica - including film - sucks because it's all reduced to sex and the difficulty of fitting into society. It's not treated as normal but as an issue pushing gay youth back to watching porn to satisfy their need of understanding their sexuality.

[hmarsrob]

Thanks again guys. Many of the younger guys I have spoken to seem to feel a bit cheated by what they see in gay porn. In fact there is almost an anger in some of them that it doesn't reflect the reality of their experiences. The whole gay for pay thing really seems to bother them for the same reasons.