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  1. #1
    Porn Star Phlash's Avatar
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    Weirdo gym people

    It's so weird how insecure some guys are at the gym. I use to go to this really laid back gym that was more my speed, but now it's gotten to expensive so I've had to start going to another that's a little smaller. I'm noticing that I'm one of the only guys that really undresses completely in the locker room. And I don't mean that to say that I'm trying to sneak peaks. At the last gym I always tried my best to keep my eyes to myself just out of respect. But being the only one who's changing competely makes me feel, idk, kinda weird? I guess I don't really know how to describe it. I know I shouldn't care.

    And before anyone thinks that this is all about the locker room, it's not. Even if I go and try to spot a guy sometimes he'll get all weird like "No thanks." I mean, pardon me if I didn't know that you don't need a spotter when you're on the stairmill. I'm just trying to make sure that you don't fall! You know? Is that so bad.

    So anyway, the reason that I'm making this thread is because something extra weird happened earlier today. I had finished my workout and went to hit the lockerroom. Well, halfway through my shower I hear what SOUNDED like my locker opening. It turned out that it wasn't my locker but someone elses but that's not the point because I was pretty sure that it was the sound of my locker opening. So I peak out and there's this nice looking fit guy in his boxer briefs. He was taking off his socks and it didn't look like he was balancing himself very good so I decided to just keep an eye on him to make sure he was okay.

    That's when he looks over at me in the shower and goes "What the hell are you doing? Perving on me?" And I'm like "No, I thought I heard my locker open so I wanted to check." Because you know, that's the truth. And he's like "What? That's so stupid." even though it's not stupid because I already had my credit cards stolen twice I'm not going through that shit with the bank again and if he ever had to go through the hassle of that I don't think he'd be acting all like this. So I'm like, "Whatever, man. I'm not perving on you. I don't do things like that." And then he's like "Well then why is the middle of the shower curtain shaking?" because I'm cold you meat head and I'm shivering a little, god. What does he think that I'm doing?

    Anyway, so now I can't go back there it's so dumb. They just found any reason to kick me out the manager was acting all mad because I left some conditioner on the floor of the shower. That's what it actually was too and I don't know why nobody would believe me. Those jerks.

  2. #2
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Phlash View Post
    It's so weird how insecure some guys are at the gym. I use to go to this really laid back gym that was more my speed, but now it's gotten to expensive so I've had to start going to another that's a little smaller. I'm noticing that I'm one of the only guys that really undresses completely in the locker room. And I don't mean that to say that I'm trying to sneak peaks. At the last gym I always tried my best to keep my eyes to myself just out of respect. But being the only one who's changing competely makes me feel, idk, kinda weird? I guess I don't really know how to describe it. I know I shouldn't care.

    And before anyone thinks that this is all about the locker room, it's not. Even if I go and try to spot a guy sometimes he'll get all weird like "No thanks." I mean, pardon me if I didn't know that you don't need a spotter when you're on the stairmill. I'm just trying to make sure that you don't fall! You know? Is that so bad.

    So anyway, the reason that I'm making this thread is because something extra weird happened earlier today. I had finished my workout and went to hit the lockerroom. Well, halfway through my shower I hear what SOUNDED like my locker opening. It turned out that it wasn't my locker but someone elses but that's not the point because I was pretty sure that it was the sound of my locker opening. So I peak out and there's this nice looking fit guy in his boxer briefs. He was taking off his socks and it didn't look like he was balancing himself very good so I decided to just keep an eye on him to make sure he was okay.

    That's when he looks over at me in the shower and goes "What the hell are you doing? Perving on me?" And I'm like "No, I thought I heard my locker open so I wanted to check." Because you know, that's the truth. And he's like "What? That's so stupid." even though it's not stupid because I already had my credit cards stolen twice I'm not going through that shit with the bank again and if he ever had to go through the hassle of that I don't think he'd be acting all like this. So I'm like, "Whatever, man. I'm not perving on you. I don't do things like that." And then he's like "Well then why is the middle of the shower curtain shaking?" because I'm cold you meat head and I'm shivering a little, god. What does he think that I'm doing?

    Anyway, so now I can't go back there it's so dumb. They just found any reason to kick me out the manager was acting all mad because I left some conditioner on the floor of the shower. That's what it actually was too and I don't know why nobody would believe me. Those jerks.
    you know what.

    i see what you and him are coming from but what's with people in the gym going to the locker room without one of these.



    i remember last week wednesday when i hit the locker room after i worked out, this guy who obviously didn't have a lock was searching all the lockers frantically for his clothes. he couldn't remember where he placed them because he was searching the same 5 lockers he placed them in and then suddenly, he checks some lockers that he didn't check before and there's his clothes. but i could never understand why someone would use a locker in a public gym without a lock. i remember back when i was using my university gym where i witnessed this kid get his clothes stolen. my homeboy also had his clothes also with his car keys stolen from there as well. the moral of the story is get yourself a lock. i'm sure you and him would have not been in a problem if you had a lock. you could take your shower in peace without having to watch for your belongings every minute.

    but back to the weirdos at the gym. yeah, there are weirdos up in there. there's cool, normal, sane people that workout like everybody. minding their businesses or whatever. but then there's the people that work their egos out where they walk around like they're terminator thinking people are supposed to be intimidated by them. they look big, muscular and all but so is their ego where it's oozing off of them where they have to let the whole world know. you also have the guys that are clearly narcissistic that pose in the mirror getting off to their own image. you also have the guys with the anger management issues where they're roaring and the whole nine. SMH. you also have the gym guys that scream their asses off to let everyone know that they're lifting such and such pounds of weight where you can't help but try to hold back your laughter. everybody is looking @ them like either trying to not laugh or waiting for them to hurt themselves.


    there's also the guy at the gym that brings along six other guys with him that hold the equipment and machines hostage, standing there and talking. there's the guys that bring their girlfriends along with them dressed up in such tight clothes where all the guys are checking their girl out. the funny thing is either that same woman gets offended where she can't take guys eyeing her up but i don't see how she's going to act surprised in a room full of men with their hormones raging or the guy gets defensive where he starts handcuffing his broad giving mean stares. i understand where they both are coming from but what do you expect? i can go on and on.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  3. #3
    Marty Saybrooke's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises..... O.o
    I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.

  4. #4
    johaninsc
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    it's a shame that some people can't appreciate a nice guy

    ..trying to lend a helping hand

  5. #5
    Carmine
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises..... O.o
    LOL ..............

  6. #6
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Phlash View Post
    Even if I go and try to spot a guy sometimes he'll get all weird like "No thanks."

    Well, halfway through my shower I hear what SOUNDED like my locker opening. It turned out that it wasn't my locker but someone else's . . . I peak out and there's this nice looking fit guy in his boxer briefs. He was taking off his socks and it didn't look like he was balancing himself very good so I decided to just keep an eye on him to make sure he was okay.

    They just found any reason to kick me out the manager was acting all mad because I left some conditioner on the floor of the shower. That's what it actually was too and I don't know why nobody would believe me. Those jerks.
    None of us were there, so none of us know what happened. But, your story doesn't seem to hold up to reason.

    You've indicated guys didn't want you spotting them, as if your presence was intrusive.

    You also suggest that you watched a man in a state of undress because he looked unsteady. I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound rational or reasonable to me. Guys in the locker room in their underwear don't need "spotters" to ensure they don't fall over. It simply sounds like you got busted and are trying to elicit support here on the boards after the embarrassment of being asked to leave.

    How does one locker sound different than another opening? Why do you not secure it with a lock?

    I know absolutely nothing about you, but your story simply doesn't stack up.

  7. #7
    Porn Star Phlash's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    How does one locker sound different than another opening?
    I have a very keen sense of hearing. It's just something that I've always had. Some people have really good eye sight and they can read from super far away, but I can hear from really far away. One time, during a street fight, a guy blew quicklime into my eyes. I was still able to make it home though by just yelling and listening for where my echo was so that I didn't run into anything.

    And another person brought up the not having a lock issue too, but I assure you that I did have a lock. I also saw one guy walking into the locker room earlier in scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck. So how was I suppose to know that it wasn't him using his stethoscope to pick my lock? Okay, I'm lying about all of this. I'm sorry. I was a little bored tonight and I thought it would be funny.

  8. #8
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: Weirdo gym people



    How you guys thought Phlash was being serious I have no idea.

  9. #9
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    I actually did consider that you might be telling a story, a sort of erotica, because all of it told together just seemed like an exercise in fiction.

    But, I thought erotica had its own forum here.

    Or is this a parody?

  10. #10
    BENDERBOY
    Guest

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Yeah this is nearly as good as your what if threads before xmas,

  11. #11
    The gay gargoyle
    G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    I'm the weird one in the gyms, usually. Although I'm usually only in exercise rooms in hotels and cruise ships. I prefer jogging in place to treadmills, so I'll lay out an exercise mat in an unobtrusive spot and just start jogging in place for anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes. I do some standard stretching and strength exercises, too, and I think watching a fat guy in a cartoon t-shirt doing them in the corner illicits some looks before I even start jogging. Most of this is conjecture, though - I'm usually busy thinking about other stuff to notice if someone's looking, or care.

    Lex

  12. #12
    dances atop the bellcurve fetaby's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    I actually did consider that you might be telling a story, a sort of erotica, because all of it told together just seemed like an exercise in fiction.

    But, I thought erotica had its own forum here.

    Or is this a parody?
    Trying to spot somebody on the stair master was the biggest clue for me...
    Please do not apologize for your opinion.

  13. #13
    johaninsc
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Phlash View Post
    I have a very keen sense of hearing. It's just something that I've always had. Some people have really good eye sight and they can read from super far away, but I can hear from really far away. One time, during a street fight, a guy blew quicklime into my eyes. I was still able to make it home though by just yelling and listening for where my echo was so that I didn't run into anything.

    And another person brought up the not having a lock issue too, but I assure you that I did have a lock. I also saw one guy walking into the locker room earlier in scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck. So how was I suppose to know that it wasn't him using his stethoscope to pick my lock? Okay, I'm lying about all of this. I'm sorry. I was a little bored tonight and I thought it would be funny.
    love your threads, Phlash...I caught it right off the bat

    I was trying to be subtle with my "helping hand" post



    but wait..go back to the gym at night and see if they turn into werewolves

    ..then it would be really weird

  14. #14
    Porn Star Phlash's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    I actually did consider that you might be telling a story, a sort of erotica, because all of it told together just seemed like an exercise in fiction.

    But, I thought erotica had its own forum here.

    Or is this a parody?
    Hmmm... I guess since it is all fake, maybe it should have gone there. But then everyone would know for a fact that it's made up. That kind of takes a little of the fun out of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by johaninsc View Post
    but wait..go back to the gym at night and see if they turn into werewolves

    ..then it would be really weird
    Haha. I could bless the water fountain too. Then I can wait and see if anyone turns to ash on the treadmill. Those vampires better stay out of my gym...

  15. #15
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Phlash View Post
    I have a very keen sense of hearing. It's just something that I've always had. Some people have really good eye sight and they can read from super far away, but I can hear from really far away. One time, during a street fight, a guy blew quicklime into my eyes. I was still able to make it home though by just yelling and listening for where my echo was so that I didn't run into anything.

    And another person brought up the not having a lock issue too, but I assure you that I did have a lock. I also saw one guy walking into the locker room earlier in scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck. So how was I suppose to know that it wasn't him using his stethoscope to pick my lock? Okay, I'm lying about all of this. I'm sorry. I was a little bored tonight and I thought it would be funny.
    WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!!!!! FUCK YOU, BUDDY.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  16. #16
    johaninsc
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    ^ ...and you wrote such a long ass post too



    Haha. I could bless the water fountain too. Then I can wait and see if anyone turns to ash on the treadmill. Those vampires better stay out of my gym...
    vampires would be easy to spot...avoiding the tanning beds would be a dead give away

  17. #17

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    I actually thought it was a believable story, because I have seen some guys freak out over the slightest irregularity in behavior, reading all kinds of meanings into random glances or gestures.

  18. #18
    JP.
    Guest

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Is it me but I think "we" rule?

  19. #19

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    At first I thought your thread would mainly be about this


    (The rest of the comic here http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2aceh9...om/comics/gym/)



    But instead it was about this.


    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises..... O.o
    This made my morning.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  20. #20
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Weirdo gym people

    LOL at the circle of envy
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  21. #21

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    None of us were there, so none of us know what happened. But, your story doesn't seem to hold up to reason.

    You've indicated guys didn't want you spotting them, as if your presence was intrusive.

    You also suggest that you watched a man in a state of undress because he looked unsteady. I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound rational or reasonable to me. Guys in the locker room in their underwear don't need "spotters" to ensure they don't fall over. It simply sounds like you got busted and are trying to elicit support here on the boards after the embarrassment of being asked to leave.

    How does one locker sound different than another opening? Why do you not secure it with a lock?

    I know absolutely nothing about you, but your story simply doesn't stack up.
    That seemed weird to me as well.

  22. #22

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    Quote Originally Posted by mike1491 View Post
    That seemed weird to me as well.
    He mentioned he has super hearing. Basically, he's like a superhero except he just hears things.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  23. #23
    TheFallenAsexual
    Guest

    Re: Weirdo gym people

    I heart Phlash threads.

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