So I've gotten to a point in life where I'm sick of the chase, sick of finding new sex partners. Yet fuck buddies are a no-go because I don't have many gay friends I'm attracted to and the few I do are a risk to develop feelings and I'm not up for that awkwardness. Relationships aren't an option either, and I'd see looking for one for the sole purpose of getting laid to be shallow and manipulative anyway.
Dealing with this, I've pretty much accepted celibacy is all I got for 2012. Then the other day, I randomly picked up Next Magazine (one of the free gay mags that you find in bars and clubs). I rarely read these and go for actual newspapers, but randomly it caught my attention and I suddenly realized the escort section in the back.
Some of these guys are hot. They offer the types of sex they like, what they're into, rates, etc. I briefly (well maybe not-so-briefly since I'm posting here) humored the notion of getting one guy to see maybe twice a month (settling on solo jack-off sessions between those intervals).
-I'd be able to get someone in amazing shape (usually out of my league)
-I'd be able to get my specific needs and my most superficial physical desires met
-Safe zone where no feelings are made/hurt
-Knowing that at the end of a stressful two weeks, I have a nice ass to fuck/cock to suck on
-The possibility of having an amazing lover despite maybe not being that amazing myself
-Money (though I could afford twice a month if it meant not going out as much)
-Shame. (I actually don't think this would be a problem, but maybe it would get to me if I knew this guy wouldn't touch me if I wasn't paying him? On the other hand, my esteem is up because I'm much slimmer...paying to get with a '10' won't exactly make me feel like chopped liver)
I've honestly been considering it. A while ago, I had a lapdances by a breathtaking gogo boy. The sensations I felt looking at/feeling his perfect ass and beautiful smile were unreal. This kind of guy would be so out of my league no matter what I do. But if I could have sex with him (or someone like him) regularly for a fee, would that be wrong?
At this point, I'm probably gonna try it once anyway. But had anyone else done or thought about this?