Thread of Nonsensical Ramblings

[JP.]

This ..how you wear suspenders right

[JP.]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fTT9xlgZ9C...0-h/Beach1.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fTT9xlgZ9C...-h/Calvin2.jpg

[refujiunderground]

bitch, it's time you pucker up..... and take some fujizzy right nnooooowwwwwww ooowwwwwwwww!!!

[refujiunderground]

wow, i'm getting old. 1998 was that LONG ago? my memory is that good.

[refujiunderground]

it's amazing how you lift me off my feet... hmmmmm
everytime you come around me, i get weak
nobody ever made me feel this way
i take a puff and you take my mind away

so... i gotta smoke.. i wanna smoke that cheech and chong
i gotta smoke.. i wanna smoke that sour diesel
i gotta smoke... so i could get myself real high
i gotta smoke...

awwww... fuck it, i tried. this is kind of corny.

[refujiunderground]

grinding, you know what i keep in the lining, midgets better stay in line when you see a midget like me shining (GRIND-DING)
grinding, you know what i keep in the lining, midgets better stay in line when you see a midget like me shining (GRIND-DING)

[BENDERBOY]

[refujiunderground]

what the fuck is that?

anyways..

you don't know how to win
i show you WHAT real winning is
see, i'm winning, winning, wwwiinnnniinngggg
see these eyes see jewels
sipping honeydew
that's real winning
YA'LL AIN'T WINNING!!

[refujiunderground]

you know something. just thinking about it now. i kind of get a little envious and frustrated at all you people whose families came up in this country where all your relatives live here. you can call them from whereever to chill at and all. the reason why i'm saying that is because i only have like a handful of cousins and relatives that live in the states. i only have like 2 cousins on my fathers side (not close to them at all because growing up, we rarely sent time together. don't know why that is. my father and his half brother were fighting half of the time.) don't know the rest of his family. on my mother's side, i'm more lucky. there's a few relatives that live in the states but almost everybody else lives overseas. it would be nice to have a cousin over in tennessee or california or indiana or somewhere like that where i can head over to.

like i remember 11 years ago how out of touch i felt when i was hanging with my extended family in england. it was like everybody was close, knew each other and the whole nine. here my brother and me were basically feeling like strangers for real. i just wanted to ask my mom, why the fuck she distanced herself away from her family like that where we can't even be close to our cousins. like i know they're blood relatives and all but i feel more closer to my friends. they feel more like family to me than my relatives because i don't talk to them like that. even my cousins in the states on my mother's side, we don't talk at all. when i was at one of my relatives funeral 4 years ago, my cousins basically distanced themselves like they didn't know us in which they didn't. we hadn't seen them in years. in a sense, i feel like i've been cheated due to my parents selfishness.

i wouldn't have mind growing up in europe with my aunts, cousins and extended family. over there seems much more interesting than here, at least when i was over there. but fuck all that, i grew up here and unless something happens, i plan on staying here. if i ever move to another country where i have to stay, i'm getting me a dual citizenship for america and whereever. otherwise, i'm not going anywhere.

[DigitalFudge]

I just looked into the mirror, and I am just stunning.

[ChickenGuy]

like i remember 11 years ago how out of touch i felt when i was hanging with my extended family in england.

Really? I never knew you had relatives over here.

Do you mean you travelled to England to meet them or they came to U.S. to meet you?

And where exactly do they live? Did they have a British accent?

[refujiunderground]

Really? I never knew you had relatives over here.

Do you mean you travelled to England to meet them or they came to U.S. to meet you?

And where exactly do they live? Did they have a British accent?

yeah, most of them are over there.

i traveled to england with my mom and my brother to meet up with them for a funeral for my aunt that died out in california back in 01.

they live all over. i don't know where specifically. i think one of my cousins lives in london. back when i was there, my aunt and my cousins were living in watford. it was kind of grimey and ghetto but still cool. we were having fun shooting off bb guns from their apartment windows at random people in the back alleys. haven't come out to either of them yet and i don't know how they'd react either. they all have strong british accents.

[JP.]

I just looked into the mirror, and I am just stunning.

Wreally? I never see you ^^
May I?

[JP.]

[JP.]

Only happening in UK..never seen guys running around street looking like this

[JP.]

Jesus was a fan of Disco



* especially Donna Summer

[refujiunderground]

there was a man who had a dog and bingo was his name oh
B-I-NGO
B-I-NGO
B-I-NGO
and bingo was his name oh.

[refujiunderground]

about to sound like a stoner saying this BUT i could go for some cheese fries right now. didn't smoke any weed either. just didn't eat enough for the day. just had two grilled cheese sandwiches and dinner for the whole day yesterday.



even though it's 1 in the morning. it's not too late to make a midnight snack. the thing is i don't feel like going all the way down to shoprite in clark or pathmark in irvington to buy ingredients. it's not like i can do that anyway. i'm broke.

that, an hot fudge banana split ice cream sundae with sprinkles, some hot fudge brownies fresh out the oven, burnet's bbq or nunzios, and a gallon of water.

[refujiunderground]

double post.

[refujiunderground]

yesterday, i was all happy, extremely irritable, and ready to cause world war 3 where i was thinking and feeling like whooping somebody's ass. NOW, i guess because it's cloudy outside, i feel and numb, more than likely from sleep deprivation. strange because i was sleep deprived yesterday too. not feeling happy, not feeling sad, not feeling angry, more rather indifferent. i've been having the urge to get something sweet to wake me up and get my lazy ass to the shower. *smacks self*

for the first time in ages, i feel completely uninspired to post or say something in here. hell, even if some poster would annoy the shit out of me, i don't have the energy to get them back. maybe i'm growing up or something is wrong with me. as long as i'm not doing anything that's harming myself or am out of touch with reality where i'm acting like martin lawrence waving around a pistol running down the street in 60 degree weather, i'm fine.

[ChickenGuy]

^ What you need is an activity or a group to join - some sort of social venue perhaps, or something that at least takes you out of the house.

Back a few years ago when I was at my isolated stage at home, I used to take a middle-aged relative and two of her friends out for a drive on Saturdays as part of a voluntary-related organisation. All three would normally not get out due to various issues each of them had. My point is - at least it got me out of the house and it was a nice outing if it was a sunny day. We'd often go for a bite to eat at a cafe or something. And it got me a bit of social interaction.

You already said you go to a gym so that's a good step forward. Do people talk to you there and have you made any friends?

Down here I have my walking/badminton/tenpin bowling groups. I made one fairly good friend, and plenty of aquaintances.

Whether there are many groups and clubs and organisations like that in your area, I've no idea.

[refujiunderground]

^ What you need is an activity or a group to join - some sort of social venue perhaps, or something that at least takes you out of the house.

Back a few years ago when I was at my isolated stage at home, I used to take a middle-aged relative and two of her friends out for a drive on Saturdays as part of a voluntary-related organisation. All three would normally not get out due to various issues each of them had. My point is - at least it got me out of the house and it was a nice outing if it was a sunny day. We'd often go for a bite to eat at a cafe or something. And it got me a bit of social interaction.

You already said you go to a gym so that's a good step forward. Do people talk to you there and have you made any friends?

Down here I have my walking/badminton/tenpin bowling groups. I made one fairly good friend, and plenty of aquaintances.

Whether there are many groups and clubs and organisations like that in your area, I've no idea.

about the social activities, i dunno with what social activities i can get involved with. i actually went down to the town hall 2 years ago and got involved with some committee which i don't even get involved in. i get extremely shy when i'm in a group where i just shut down and won't even say a word to anybody. that, top with not being confident with what to say, i just won't say a word. the thing about this place is that everything is spread out, far and few inbetween. you have to go out and search for it. if you don't have a car or money, then you're assed out so it's like why even bother to begin with?

i go to the gym with my brother and my friend whenever they're available to go. even though i'm shy and etc, somehow believe it or not, i can actually be sociable when i reach a comfort zone though i prefer to interact with people one on one and sometimes in a group, if i know everybody well enough. i also actually attract people towards me instead of reaching out to people to. a lot of times, i don't even seek it friends or people to talk to. it just happens. i'll say something or they'll say something and before you know it, we're talking and then we're friends. however, i am not good at keeping contact with people as in my shyness will come in and i'll shut down so i'll have a bunch of people that i should be saying hello to, keep touching bases with but i don't say anything to them. there's tons of numbers on my cell phone of people that i haven't said things to in months. it's ridiculous. it's not intentional. it's that i'm scared and the easiest way to deal with that is staying quiet. anxiety is terrible. i wish to be a more social person where i can talk to everybody without being afraid and keep in contact with folks but something in me just keeps me from doing it.

and like i said, over here pretty much sucks. there's virtually nothing to do. you have to look everywhere and IF you don't live in an area, have money, or let alone have reliable transportation to even get there, you can find yourself at home chilling alone. the same thing applies to work. your options are limited over here. the only good thing is that nyc is an hour away so that makes up for it.

i'm talking a whole lot about myself and etc where it sounds like i'm self centered and making excuses for the way i am. i apologize for that but i'm just saying, i don't wish to be this way BUT at the same time, everytime i push for better, it seems like it's not enough. this is why i'm trying my hardest to go to a psych ward to figure if there's a problem or something i could do because i could have been doing a whole lot of big things eons ago if my head was in the right place. however, i'm scared to change and worst off, i actually have people that are encouraging me to stay this way and at the same time, act like i can simply change at the drop of a hat. as if i'm not doing with anything. it's annoying.

[JP.]

I usually dont watch mv promotion cuz I know it'll be trash...but this one is interesting, a lot of K-pop element in it



interestingly bad

[JP.]

Tonight we celebrating bad music

I knew this bfore..she needs more viewers

[JP.]

not that bad taxidermy














distastefully done taxidermy X_X

[refujiunderground]

speaking of dead animals, i saw something yesterday that fucked me up and still is in my head now.

well, yesterday, my mom and me were heading over to the supermarket to go food shopping for the house. we were talking and i don't know what happened, i was talking about my issues. wait, basically, it started off with my mom telling me that i could have got a seasonal job by now and i needed to work now. it went on to her talking about herself, how her life was back in the day and etc compared to me and mine. at some point, i got annoyed and tried to explain with her how the issues that i left unchecked back in the day had ultimately led to me basically sabotaging myself being scared of change where i think i should sort help. i was basically trying to tell her that she wasn't understanding me and could have be more supportve towards me going out to seek help instead of telling me to brush my feelings and issues under the rug like how she always done. she thought that i was blaming her and then shegot annoyed where she said, not in these words but something like "i don't care. leave me the fuck alone. get out of my fucking life. move on with yours. if you feel like killing yourself, go ahead". i got really upset and we both pretty much were at odds.

okay, we go shopping and head out where she drives out the parking lot to the street. there, we saw a dead pigeon and what i believe to be its mother standing over the body. the pigeon had just died as it was ran over, probably by a dickhead driver, you know how it is out here in new jersey. a lot of aggressive drivers driving crazy simply to go down the street. they have to get their by the second, not the minute. anyways, despite all the car traffic that was passing real close where the mother could have got ran over, she stayed there not even moving at all. it was almost like wow. that just made me a little emotion in a sense because that pain was universal and that mother had lost her child. basically murdered. she looked around, standing over the child spreading the wings across the body. it just made me feel worse than i already was feeling.

eeriely, i felt like it was like a symbolism or a promotion. the strangest thing is my mom had a dream about a year ago where she said that her and me were on the beach. some huge wave came and it dragged me into the water. my mom said that she was trying to reach for me out in the water trying to pull me out but she lost me and i drowned. she then was being consoled by somebody and they asked her if she was okay. she said something like "i lost my son, what do you think?" that dream scared the shit out of me. almost like she thinks i'm going to die soon or something.

with that said, we both said the mother mourning over its child and that's when her and me started talking again, basically trying to understand each other instead of arguing and coming to a compromise. i know i'm going to die. i just hope i don't die before i get to start living my life first.

[G-Lexington]

Ho, ho, the mistletoe
Hung where you can see
Somebody waits for you
Kiss them once for me .

- Burl Ives, "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas"

The next time I'm at a party, and I see someone under the mistletoe, I'm giving them a lengthy, sloppy, inappropriate kiss. As I pull away and see their utterly shocked and confused expression, I'll wipe the excess slobber from my lips and face, and pant "That was from BURL IVES!"

Lex

[BENDERBOY]

Ah, that's better.

[refujiunderground]

anybody see the resemblance? looking at simba got me wanting to sing the beginning of the circle of life song. you know, the one where the dude at the beginning says "awww kenya" and some other words that were a huge huh.

[CupidBoy]

[JP.]

anybody see the resemblance? looking at simba got me wanting to sing the beginning of the circle of life song. you know, the one where the dude at the beginning says "awww kenya" and some other words that were a huge huh.

no...i dont see the connection

[refujiunderground]

no...i dont see the connection

you don't think she looks like simba with the hair around her head like that?

[JP.]

[JP.]

you don't think she looks like simba with the hair around her head like that?

nope ^^
.
..

[refujiunderground]

nope ^^
.
..

was going to say she looked like natalie king cole but naw...

[Essex Boy]

This occured to me years ago but the death of Patrick Moore reminded me of it.
If you were called Pat Moore you could arrange to marry someone with the surname Patmore and hyphenate it so your married name would be Pat Moore-Patmore. Or you could hyphenate it the other way round and be Pat Patmore-Moore.

[CupidBoy]

This occured to me years ago but the death of Patrick Moore reminded me of it.
If you were called Pat Moore you could arrange to marry someone with the surname Patmore and hyphenate it so your married name would be Pat Moore-Patmore. Or you could hyphenate it the other way round and be Pat Patmore-Moore.

Are you on the SayHey forum Essex Boy?

[Essex Boy]

^ No, I just had a look. Not to find out if I was on it, but to see what it was. There are two SayHeys: one's for devotees of Kylie Minogue, the other is for the hearing impaired. Which one do you mean?

[CupidBoy]

^ No, I just had a look. Not to find out if I was on it, but to see what it was. There are two SayHeys: one's for devotees of Kylie Minogue, the other is for the hearing impaired. Which one do you mean?

The Kylie one, someone has the same username as you, go figure.

[Essex Boy]

Wherever there's style, class, sophistication and glamour you'll find the Essex boys.

[Adrock-JD]

Actually, it's a Forum and it's called CE&P.

[CupidBoy]

Wherever there's style, class, sophistication and glamour you'll find the Essex boys.

- - - Updated - - -

Wherever there's style, class, sophistication and glamour you'll find the Essex boys.

[refujiunderground]

i MOTHERFUCKING love porn. thank you to the studios of randy blue. i really NEEDED that. i used to think porn was garbage a year ago because i couldn't get off to straight porn BUT my mind has completely changed choking my chicken to gay porn. i'm busting nuts that i never imagined possible. sheit, i FEEL good. my dick feels even better. the thing i love about gay porn is that i could chose who to jerk off to. whether it's the bottom or the top or both. sometimes the bottom is hotter than the top, sometimes the top is hotter than the bottom, sometimes they both are hot. sometimes, the porn is wack BUT there's too much to chose from. i can also jerk off to solos and etc.

i'll never understand why anybody would want to quit masturbating ever. the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself is yourself. i'll never forgive myself for putting myself through all those no masturbation periods back in 2001 to 2005. i was being stupid. i'll never stop masturbating even if i get a fuck buddy or a boyfriend. i'm not going to have sex every single day so i'm going to keep myself company.

i'll never stop jerking off until i die.

[frankfrank]

^ No, I just had a look. Not to find out if I was on it, but to see what it was. There are two SayHeys: one's for devotees of Kylie Minogue, the other is for the hearing impaired. Which one do you mean?

Of course the site names are most likely an homage to "Say Hey" Willie Mays, the great AllStar baseball player from another time.

[JP.]

Ladies and Gentleman..
I presenting..

"PSY" daughters..

Damn asians

[refujiunderground]

khujo goodie might hatify me for saying this but i still got that oink oink moo moo and foul foul foul foul on my fork. i love eating those dead birds and i love me some ribs cut off of dead cows too. i'll never eat a human though. let all the albert fishes, gary heidniks and earthworm jims do their work with that. props to anybody that can be a vegetarian or a vegan. i love meat too much to do it.

[refujiunderground]

2002 was 10 years ago. scary. 10 years ago, i thought i won the war against homosexuality because i made myself have a crush on a girl who was a grade lower than i was. i really wanted to have sex with her so i can validate myself. shit didn't go as i hoped. 10 years later, i've accepted the truth. also remember buying this game after christmas. got the ps2 and tekken tag for christmas because i was doing well in school. actually made the honor roll. hadn't made the honor roll since i was in middle school.

[refujiunderground]

[JP.]

If dog breeds cat..I think this is the offspring:

[CupidBoy]