Lets see, I am not sure how to start this. I've only jo and bj with a couple of my friends a few times, never done anal or actually been with a guy. I'm 26 and decided to finally give it a try but not sure how to find someone, not really comfortable with the gay scene since and didn't want to hook up randomly with anybody. I was in a chatroom and met this guy who lives in bout 15mins away, and just thought what the hell and I came over that night and when I got there is when I told him it was my first time. This was back in the middle of Novemeber. We jo and sucked each other, then he fucked me, at first i wasn't sure if i liked it cause it hurt, we fucked for bout 10mins before i couldnt take no more, he loved how tight i was and i could feel his throbbing cock all in my ass. we jack and sucked each other off till we finished each other and we made some small talk then I left. With the small talk he talked about things we liked, music, gym and both funny guys. He is educated and goal oriented too . I text him a couple days later and asked him to see a movie or something (not knowing what to say exactly), he goes if u just wanna fuck say so. I told him im not sure what im looking for but dont wanna just be a fuck. He told me he was trying to get out of hook up mode and wanted to find someone he can chill with and be close. I came over again that night and we went to eat dinner. Came back to his house and did "it" again. Then we cuddled and watched tv, it felt good to feel that connection with someone. He looks me in my eyes with lust and tells me he never felt this way with another man. We start talking about our relationships and hook ups. He's been with numerous partners @ least 10 i can remember, but theres more. mostly hooking up in bathrooms or at a park with random men, also going to a couple of sex clubs in the bay area. For the first 2 weeks i came over almost everynight and stayed the night we didnt do it everynight but held each other and talked about ourselves. Watched some movies and he made me dinner. We talked about what we want and i told him i really like him and can see myself being with him. He told me the same but doesnt want a bf cause he feels you should be able to be out and not have to hide it. I agree with him to and told him im not looking for a bf but would like more. b/c we both work i started staying the night 3x a week or so. He lets me stay at his house when he leaves to the gym and i clean for him or make breakfast. But recently the last 2 weeks, ive noticed hes been on this website adam4adam while hanging with me. I went home and found him and his profile says how he is looking for someone to make him forget about that website for good. Idk cause he tells me im what he is looking for but still he constantly goes on there. Also while cuddling with him hell get some txt and its from some app he has with naked guys on it. He tells me things like i should go fuck somebody..i bottom but still like to fuck, he's a top but tells me imma fuck him one day ( i take it as a joke). But he also tells me i just like him cause hes my first, how hes been there before, hes 4yrs older than me. I dont think its just cause hes my first i actually like me as a person and attracted to him. I want to know if I should just go hook up with some other guys, to test the waters so to speak. Or tell him i dont want to be with anybody else (how i really feel)? I know he still hooks up with other guys, he brings condoms with him to the gym and not only that i bout a 3pack one time and didnt see him for a 2days we used one and after i came over we were gonna do it but he said we dont have any(i just brushed it off and went to buy some). I dont wanna ruin things by bringing up a relationship but I wanna feel something more than just somebody you can call when your lonely or wanna fuck.