Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

[sixthson]

a part of my anal cavity is popping out my ass right now. strained a bit too hard on the toilet. i think i didn't completely get all the shit out of me. there's probably 1/20th of a turd still stuck up there. i need a booty sprinkler.

Psyllium husk, 2 tblsp, once or twice daily, plenty of water.

[refujiunderground]

i HATE the words ebony, african american, and all these bullshit terms with this whole seperatism, segregation going on. it's annoying. it's funny how this country basically tries its hardest to create a seperatist mentality where you have the whites on this side, the blacks on this side, the asians on this site and etc. the fucked up thing is how they have it where the whites are basically "american" or the default and the blacks, asians and everybody else have to have their ancestry origin before being called american. like they literally are creating a superiority complex where they want the white people to feel superior over all the nonwhites. nowadays, you even see the 90 babies basically taking it back to the 1950s with the racist attitudes and such. next door studios had to do some bullshit making an "ebony" section. i guess the white models just work for next door studios. do you really have to make a different branch for the models because they're black?

and yo.. another thing that really pisses me off is how you have many white people that take it there making it into a black and white thing BUT then they fall back trying to say "it's not like that". here's a perfect example. the same bullshit with "black history month". american history is american history. does it really matter if it involves black people or not? there should be no such thing as such as history involving black people in america should be incorporated within the whole educational system with history in high schools, jr. high, middle schools and etc. looking back at middle school, they would basically do that bullshit where they took time to talk about history involving black people every feburary. they're basically beating it into your head that you're not shit. then you have some idiots outthere that will tell me when i raise this up about some dumb shit like "black people in america have bet and black history month" not even understanding my point. they can't see the whole "make the black people and every nonwhite person feel like they're not a part of this country even if they're born and raised here. ridiculous.

[refujiunderground]

Psyllium husk, 2 tblsp, once or twice daily, plenty of water.

just googled it up. my guess is that whole foods has it. it feels like i'm going to the store to buy ky jelly or condoms except this time, i'm admitting that i have a problem taking a shit.

[xbuzzerx]

I think you have it backwards. If you think people feel separated because terms like African American exist rather than the difference is there anyway you should hang with more black people.

You're correct that we shouldn't 'need' things like black history month or whatever else. But that's looking at the issue in a vaccum where you don't recognize the fact that mainstream history has traditionally marginalized or completely left out the story of most people who weren't white males. It's gotten better over time, perhaps in your time as a student you felt like you learned constantly about women's suffrage and the civil rights movement and the role of Chinese in building the railroad, but try to bear in mind that university students had to have huge protests in the 60's and DEMAND that these things be included in the history books and taught. Your parents or grandparents (depending on your age) didn't learn about these things as inclusively as you did. And it's hardly like the story is all-balanced now. For me yeah stuff was there about other groups but it was always like sidebar material in the book, an interruption from the main flow of history which didn't really include the roles of these groups.

[Lefty]

Even the Rexall or (yuck Walmart) has it and the clerk won't give a fuck what you buy or
why you buy it. Just be polite and smile.

Re the other above, one last time the way I see it. I was born in and live in AMERICA.
My heritage is not pure Aryan or anything else...but I am pure USA Prime CaliforniaAmerican.
My son is far more Aryan than I am but, he was born Grade 'A' California American on
both sides of his family tree.

I tan well, so some months I'm a brown American, sometimes a red or pasty eggshell colored
American. One of my close friends was born in Tokyo and came to America and got his papers
making him American...a Japanese American. He is also 1/2+- of African heritage and so he is
also...

Well, I hope I got the point across without beating a dead horse. Funny/sad...if you were laying
in a hospital bed dying and they could heal you with some blood or a heart or other body stuff,
or you would die, would you really care what brand the parts were...
black, white, yellow, queer or?

[xbuzzerx]

Even the Rexall or (yuck Walmart) has it and the clerk won't give a fuck what you buy or
why you buy it. Just be polite and smile.

Re the other above, one last time the way I see it. I was born in and live in AMERICA.
My heritage is not pure Aryan or anything else...but I am pure USA Prime CaliforniaAmerican.
My son is far more Aryan than I am but, he was born Grade 'A' California American on
both sides of his family tree.

I tan well, so some months I'm a brown American, sometimes a red or pasty eggshell colored
American. One of my close friends was born in Tokyo and came to America and got his papers
making him American...a Japanese American. He is also 1/2+- of African heritage and so he is
also...

Well, I hope I got the point across without beating a dead horse. Funny/sad...if you were laying
in a hospital bed dying and they could heal you with some blood or a heart or other body stuff,
or you would die, would you really care what brand the parts were...
black, white, yellow, queer or?

You would be SURPRISED.

Ask someone who works in a hospital about the reaction of some people to having black or gay people work on them.

The whole "oh it shouldn't matter, it's stupid that people act like it matters" is a luxury for someone who can wake up in the morning and go "oh I'm not gonna think about race today." Think a black person can do that? It would involve being able to control everyone else and their attitudes.

[AshyPhoenix]

I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. Long-distance relationships are just way too hard, and my financial situation is such that I don't have the luxury of being able to move to the big city. His situation is similar. I still love him like absolute crazy, but I don't want to make things even tougher by stretching it out for a long time. There's no easy way out of this, and I hate it.

[refujiunderground]

I think you have it backwards. If you think people feel separated because terms like African American exist rather than the difference is there anyway you should hang with more black people.

You're correct that we shouldn't 'need' things like black history month or whatever else. But that's looking at the issue in a vaccum where you don't recognize the fact that mainstream history has traditionally marginalized or completely left out the story of most people who weren't white males. It's gotten better over time, perhaps in your time as a student you felt like you learned constantly about women's suffrage and the civil rights movement and the role of Chinese in building the railroad, but try to bear in mind that university students had to have huge protests in the 60's and DEMAND that these things be included in the history books and taught. Your parents or grandparents (depending on your age) didn't learn about these things as inclusively as you did. And it's hardly like the story is all-balanced now. For me yeah stuff was there about other groups but it was always like sidebar material in the book, an interruption from the main flow of history which didn't really include the roles of these groups.

my fault, man. i meant the reasoning behind the usage of the word african american and etc. there's some black people outthere that talk about how they're not american, wanting to deny their american citizenship and call themselves african. they don't realize how many folks before them died just so they and the future generations could be acknowledged as american citizens and have the rights like an american citizen or for that matter to be called an american. hell, i'm still completely weirded out on how this whole entire disaster even started in the first place. it doesn't even make sense. all this prejudice going on doesn't even make any sense. even asking some of these folks behind the reason why they're prejudiced against somebody, they don't even make any sense.

[xbuzzerx]

my fault, man. i meant the reasoning the usage of it. like you have some black people outthere that talk about how they're not american, wanting to deny their american citizenship and call themselves african. it's like do they realize how many folks done died in those civil rights marches and etc just to be acknowledged as american citizens and have the rights like an american citizen should have. hell, i'm still completely weirded out on how this whole entire disaster even started in the first place. it doesn't even make sense. all this prejudice going on doesn't even make any sense.

Well keep in mind that's HALF the picture. The other half is that some of these terms exist because people who aren't straight white males are going to be called something and they'd prefer to be called something that doesn't have an extremely negative connotation in history. You notice in general we tend to call ourselves "gay guys" and not "homos" or "fags" other than when we're being catty or silly (or bitchy.)

[refujiunderground]

Well keep in mind that's HALF the picture. The other half is that some of these terms exist because people who aren't straight white males are going to be called something and they'd prefer to be called something that doesn't have an extremely negative connotation in history. You notice in general we tend to call ourselves "gay guys" and not "homos" or "fags" other than when we're being catty or silly (or bitchy.)

that's very, very true.

crazy how everything was going all good just now until my father called home, saying he just lost his wallet on the subway. to tell you the truth, i don't even know to think. don't trust him for one, i have my reasons, and for two, i'm suspicious of him because he acts like he has some dirt in his closet like he's fugitive or something.

this year feels like a repeat of 2010/2011. dude lost his wallet last year. smh.

[AshyPhoenix]

My post above?

Yeah, I broke up with him. We always agreed that we were friends first, so there's no drama involved. Neither of us wants to move to the other's city, so there's no point in continuing the relationship. I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but I've tried living in the big city before; it didn't work that time, so why expect it to work again?

Ugh. I feel like I'm failing him. I'm going to look back on this constantly and what-if myself into insanity.

[xbuzzerx]

That was quick! So, he was understanding about it? Your post makes it sound like he wasn't really shocked/surprised.

[refujiunderground]

My post above?

Yeah, I broke up with him. We always agreed that we were friends first, so there's no drama involved. Neither of us wants to move to the other's city, so there's no point in continuing the relationship. I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but I've tried living in the big city before; it didn't work that time, so why expect it to work again?

Ugh. I feel like I'm failing him. I'm going to look back on this constantly and what-if myself into insanity.

it sounds like you did. you two will get back together soon and you'll move somewhere together.

[AshyPhoenix]

That was quick! So, he was understanding about it? Your post makes it sound like he wasn't really shocked/surprised.

It's been coming for a while. We broke up two weeks ago, then got back together. I've been doing some heavy thinking on it and I feel it's best for both of us. I'd rather not have to move to the city and then have to move back if we decide that we can't work. He understands.

it sounds like you did. you two will get back together soon and you'll move somewhere together.

It'd be nice to think that, but I'm not going to delude myself.

[JohannBessler]

It's been coming for a while. We broke up two weeks ago, then got back together. I've been doing some heavy thinking on it and I feel it's best for both of us. I'd rather not have to move to the city and then have to move back if we decide that we can't work. He understands.

It'd be nice to think that, but I'm not going to delude myself.

(gives Ashy a bear hug)

[xbuzzerx]

It's been coming for a while. We broke up two weeks ago, then got back together. I've been doing some heavy thinking on it and I feel it's best for both of us. I'd rather not have to move to the city and then have to move back if we decide that we can't work. He understands.



It'd be nice to think that, but I'm not going to delude myself.

It'll be fine Ashy. You have tons in the dating resume department.

[AshyPhoenix]

It'll be fine Ashy. You have tons in the dating resume department.

I have a big dick. I guess that's enough for some.

[maxpowr9]

Ugh, women...

My roommate asked me to buy a rug for our "dining room" and she said buy one that was 5x8. I did such think and she complained it was too big.

[refujiunderground]

Ugh, women...

My roommate asked me to buy a rug for our "dining room" and she said buy one that was 5x8. I did such think and she complained it was too big.

you should take it back to the store and tell her to go out and buy it herself.

[maxpowr9]

Yeah this is the rug I bought...

[xbuzzerx]

Yeah this is the rug I bought...

Way too big take it back.

[refujiunderground]

Way too big take it back.

it doesn't look that big though. max if you take it back, take her along with you so you can shut her up whenever she starts complaining about the carpet.

[Huntneo(PT)]

I still enjoy Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair".

[bankside]

The rug could be turned 90 degrees and it might work better.

[Lefty]

Here's some options MaxPax.

1. Shoot the hemorrhoid, roll her in the rug, place rug/contents in
the rubbish bin. Live with lovely hardwood and a Swisher dry mop...

2. Be a pussy and go exchange rug but take exact dimensions and
colour scheme/pattern she wants YOU to buy for a place you probably
didn't realize was so obscenely naked and lacking in chic.

(some fun, at store keep doing phone pics a asking what she likes)

3. Me, I'd turn the fucking thing from east-west with the boards to a
North-South across the boards giving some play for the difference in
patterns, colours and textures. Smooth out the wrinkles and with my
very best smile, hand her the receipt and in a sexy man-up voice say

'it is what it is bitch...you don't like it? ...you do it your way. Just leave
me out of the fucking equation.

The attitude in suggestion 3 worked best for me with both room mates
and significant others.....7 or 8 of them.

[reone]

It's so...ornate. I'm wondering what kind of furniture will be going on top of it. The size looks okay from the picture.

[refujiunderground]

Here's some options MaxPax.

1. Shoot the hemorrhoid, roll her in the rug, place rug/contents in
the rubbish bin. Live with lovely hardwood and a Swisher dry mop...

she's big enough to fit inside too. i hope. nobody would notice.

[Lefty]

@ reone

Dark wood solid or even an Asian hard wood ....antiqued bamboo and glass?

Nothing like Copenhagen or its cheap knock offs.

and god forbid they do IKEA anywhere.

Trust me on this, my grand auntie was a lesbian
interior decorator in Marin County.

[xbuzzerx]

Just resize the picture of the rug and the size will be perfect.

[borg69unimatrix]

Yeah this is the rug I bought...

I'd suggest a round rug for that area.

[frankfrank]

I'm thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. Long-distance relationships are just way too hard, and my financial situation is such that I don't have the luxury of being able to move to the big city. His situation is similar. I still love him like absolute crazy, but I don't want to make things even tougher by stretching it out for a long time. There's no easy way out of this, and I hate it.

My post above?

Yeah, I broke up with him. We always agreed that we were friends first, so there's no drama involved. Neither of us wants to move to the other's city, so there's no point in continuing the relationship. I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but I've tried living in the big city before; it didn't work that time, so why expect it to work again?

Ugh. I feel like I'm failing him. I'm going to look back on this constantly and what-if myself into insanity.

35 minutes apart. Darn it. I was initially going to suggest a good talk to see what kinds of ideas he had about the relationship - does the friendship still remain? I'll give you a hug, too. Clearly this was something you would have preferred not to have to do, if circumstances were more workable. I can relate to not being able to afford Vancouver or the convenient suburbs. I am in better financial condition than most people (guessing I'd be around the 80th percentile, at least - certainly still deep within "the 99%") and I can't easily envision a circumstance where I could easily afford staying there.

Sorry, I almost forgot the hug.

[mikey3000]

My post above?

Yeah, I broke up with him. We always agreed that we were friends first, so there's no drama involved. Neither of us wants to move to the other's city, so there's no point in continuing the relationship. I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but I've tried living in the big city before; it didn't work that time, so why expect it to work again?

Ugh. I feel like I'm failing him. I'm going to look back on this constantly and what-if myself into insanity.

I thought you just moved in with him?

[AshyPhoenix]

No, I haven't. I'm not sure where you got that from.

[maxpowr9]

I bitched her out and were keeping the rug.

So, I have SAD but while I don't feel depressed and have been more active than usual, I gained 5 lbs since I last stepped on the scale. I think I'm more inclined to blame all the baked goods people are giving me and am having trouble resisting my favorites like white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, mint fudge brownies and Coconut pound cake.

[reone]

^I'm pretty sure that I do as well. Apparently there are medications for it, but I avoid taking benadryl so it's not likely that I'd want to take whatever they prescribe for this either . This year actually hasn't been so bad for me so far. I think I've built a much better social structure to keep me busy.

I'd almost skip my birthday and the rest of Winter for some heat and sunlight, though.

[RazorzEdge88]

My post above?

Yeah, I broke up with him. We always agreed that we were friends first, so there's no drama involved. Neither of us wants to move to the other's city, so there's no point in continuing the relationship. I feel like I'm giving up too easily, but I've tried living in the big city before; it didn't work that time, so why expect it to work again?

Ugh. I feel like I'm failing him. I'm going to look back on this constantly and what-if myself into insanity.

Breaking up is a bitch - hope you feel better soon. You're a great guy.

[maxpowr9]

^I'm pretty sure that I do as well. Apparently there are medications for it, but I avoid taking benadryl so it's not likely that I'd want to take whatever they prescribe for this either . This year actually hasn't been so bad for me so far. I think I've built a much better social structure to keep me busy.

I'd almost skip my birthday and the rest of Winter for some heat and sunlight, though.

Normally I would do some light tanning to combat it but ever since my ex got skin cancer, I've been staying away from those places. It's funny that I had trouble coming up with things I wanted for x-mas but the list started to form kind of quickly.

1. Nose hair trimmer (so gay!)
2. New desk since I'm starting to use my desktop again. Not getting white this time!!!
3. Maybe a light cube for SAD.

[xbuzzerx]

I never thought of a nose hair trimmer as a gay gift idea.... I'd only worry about making someone feel old or unkempt.

[reone]

My grandmother bought me one..and it wasn't even Christmas. She just gave it to me -__-...

Actually, I shouldn't frown at that. At least she cared enough to get me something . Usually she buys me snacks..I think she is still trying to fatten me up.

[JP.]

It's so...ornate. I'm wondering what kind of furniture will be going on top of it. The size looks okay from the picture.

Ottoman chair with hookah?

- - - Updated - - -

Im highly addicted to egg nog

sigh

[JP.]

I hate to skip my daily posting random pic..I feel so un-accomplish right now..

[Anders123]

A woman hit on me while I was eating after work the other day. I was completely oblivious until she asked if I'd like to go out some time. That was after about five minutes of conversation, and it was so unbelievably awkward. I felt like an absolute idiot.

If it were a man approaching me, I would've kept a keen eye on his body language and analysed every word he said, but because it was a woman, I didn't even think about the fact that she might have been interested in me. I really wish I wasn't so clueless, as I could have bypassed some of the awkwardness by making a subtle reference to an ex-boyfriend or a date with a man. Instead, the realisation hit me far too late and she was quite clearly embarrassed by the situation. I was too flustered myself to adequately reassure her that she had no reason to feel that way, and it was just a terrible mess of awkward apologies.

Ugh, I'm cringing right now just thinking about it.

[RazorzEdge88]

A woman hit on me while I was eating after work the other day. I was completely oblivious until she asked if I'd like to go out some time. That was after about five minutes of conversation, and it was so unbelievably awkward. I felt like an absolute idiot.

If it were a man approaching me, I would've kept a keen eye on his body language and analysed every word he said, but because it was a woman, I didn't even think about the fact that she might have been interested in me. I really wish I wasn't so clueless, as I could have bypassed some of the awkwardness by making a subtle reference to an ex-boyfriend or a date with a man. Instead, the realisation hit me far too late and she was quite clearly embarrassed by the situation. I was too flustered myself to adequately reassure her that she had no reason to feel that way, and it was just a terrible mess of awkward apologies.

Ugh, I'm cringing right now just thinking about it.

I used to have that happen and I would feel the same way, but it's really not worth worrying about. Rejection is a fact of life. It's likely she won't dwell on it, so neither should you.

[pat grimshaw]

I hate it when people use the expression "Nice try though". It's rude, glib and SO presumptuous!

[Lefty]

Andy,

Why are you embarrassed? You are a pheromone laden animal with reasonable or
above looks. You carry yourself with dignity and you are articulate. Girls are drawn
to that kind of person as much as 'guys' are.

You don't need to be flustered or even tell that you are gay and not interested in what
she brings to the table. You just smile and say I'd like that but the person I'm seeing
right now has some jealousy issues but thank you for the offer.

My friend, you are quite a package...expect the ballsier ones of any sex to want to try
and open you up.

[JP.]

Love love love my star of David organic soap. ^^ Star of David soap

First try here: Lemon& Eucalyptus flavor..
the soap is mildly fragrance but the sensation after shower is incredible..
it feels like I just went from spa..idk, the wholesome feeling

Love&comfort in Novem brrrrr...

and good to know that the soap is "extra-kosher"

[G-Lexington]

I had my first taste of depression in four years yesterday (into today). Partially external (caused by actual things going on in my life), but the obsessive negative thoughts and insomnia were out of perspective. And i was reminded of a symptom that I'd forgotten - cold. Like my body's metabolism completely shuts down, and I'm not burning fuel anymore. It's a piercing cold that seems to radiate out from my bones. Hot drinks, warm clothes, gloves, heaters on high all help somewhat but can't always work their way into my hands. So I'll be standing there with a large coat and gloves in the 60F weather, sweat rolling down my neck but my hands still feeling like ice.

And I remember that my depression as never been considered anything but "mild". And that this wasn't that bad a day as these things go. And I think of people who say things like "just think of happy things!", and think "It's not like that. Not at all."

I appear to be beyond it now. The external issue has been resolved, and I'm at peace with the resolution. I'm back to happy gargoyle again. But always, there's this after-effect. Minidepression hangover. Which may be nothing but fear that it's not over. That I could start slipping back in at any moment. Here's hoping not.

Lex

[refujiunderground]

I had my first taste of depression in four years yesterday (into today). Partially external (caused by actual things going on in my life), but the obsessive negative thoughts and insomnia were out of perspective. And i was reminded of a symptom that I'd forgotten - cold. Like my body's metabolism completely shuts down, and I'm not burning fuel anymore. It's a piercing cold that seems to radiate out from my bones. Hot drinks, warm clothes, gloves, heaters on high all help somewhat but can't always work their way into my hands. So I'll be standing there with a large coat and gloves in the 60F weather, sweat rolling down my neck but my hands still feeling like ice.

And I remember that my depression as never been considered anything but "mild". And that this wasn't that bad a day as these things go. And I think of people who say things like "just think of happy things!", and think "It's not like that. Not at all."

I appear to be beyond it now. The external issue has been resolved, and I'm at peace with the resolution. I'm back to happy gargoyle again. But always, there's this after-effect. Minidepression hangover. Which may be nothing but fear that it's not over. That I could start slipping back in at any moment. Here's hoping not.

Lex

probably the change of seasons. anything that might have happened that could have set it off though or did it just happen randomly?

[legend145]

I often question people that call me a friend. My "friends" never invite me to go to places, they see each other over breaks and holidays, and regularly text each other. I also don't reach out to them, but when we see each other face to face they still consider me a friend which I don't get. Are they being two faced? What am I to them? The thing that irks me is that I'm a nice guy. I think I have qualities that make me a good friend, but they don't want to hang out with me. My "friend" complains about another friend and talks about all the bad things he has done, but yet he hangs out with him more than me. You call me a friend but we don't hang out. What is that? Even though they call me their friend I don't consider them one. I actually questioned one of "friendships" with one of my "friends" I said something like Oh where friends? and they got offended as if I said something out of line.

[refujiunderground]

i thought i took this site more seriously than a lot of other posters BUT overtime, i'm starting to realize that it's the other way around. even though i'm here all the time, interact with many of you guys, am cool with you and bond with ya, surprisingly, i am not emotionally attached to this site. for some reason, i am not emotionally attached to a lot of things. i can actually do without many things without feeling odd and i'm emotionally attached to some of the strangest things too such as looking at the clock or some of the ocd related rituals i have. weird.