Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

[JohannBessler]

JohannBessler -

Some observations I've made about you from this thread, and a couple others (and you can correct me if I'm wrong), I feel you live your life sticking your head in the sand. I'm basing this mainly on your posts here where you caution everyone NOT to EVER put their pictures on line, and one where you said you park at the back end of a parking lot, and about using Linux so you're not hacked.

YES - I do think people should be safe and cautious in all aspects of life - but I think you carry it a little far into the obsessive and extreme.

I hope this doesn't offend you.

I get the same impression.

I agree with you to a large extent, but I think one can't be too careful on the Internet. Indeed, I have already been victimized once when somebody phished my eBay account. Many others I've spoken to have also been victimized in one way or another.

The situation about parking far away from the front door doesn't have anything to do with fear. I do this because if I don't park far away, I can't find my car.

[refujiunderground]

OMGAH!

You're about to have me over here crying and shit.

I'm so proud and happy for you right now.

thanks, man. why are you crying for? this is a happy moment. the good news is that the coming out party will be kicking off soon before the new years. i wasn't expecting to be out this soon. more like when i was 27 or 28.

[JohannBessler]

@Borg:

Actually, there was a second time we got victimized on the Internet. I'd completely forgotten about it until my OH reminded me of it, because it happened so many years ago.

Circa 1998, he downloaded a "dialer". Now I don't know if you remember those, but they posed as an application that would help you "clean up your hard drive" or something, but in fact, when you clicked on it, it dialed some 900 number offshore. I remember now that when we got our bill we were socked with an $80 or $90 bill.

Of course nowadays, hardly anybody has dialup, so dialers have become extinct; in fact, very many people don't even have a land-line anymore.

All of this goes to show you that one can't be too careful on the Internet.

[refujiunderground]

well, my father and my brother are taking me being gay very nicely. my mom on the other hand is already mad at me for not doing my thing as in being responsible and getting myself up out of here. well, she's apparently more angry with me over being gay. we were having a talk today and she was saying how "it's a lifestyle, it's a choice," and started talking about the bible where she said jesus was about to get raped in some town by some gay people. then she told me how i was being dramatic and why i had to tell her at this time where she's back in school, completely stressed out and shit. i guess she feels that i'm a disappointment that i didn't come to be exactly what she wanted to be. from what she told me on monday, as a baby, i guess i caused her much disappointment when i wasn't normal like how other babies were. when she was told by the psychologists and doctors that i may have been "slow" as in "retarded" since i wasn't talking and walking like how other kids were normally, she was hurt. as time went on, i proved to be a pain in the ass to her where i was pretty much living up to what she thought was the expectations of how people thought i would turn out to be.

then i said something to her about "i'm gay, get over it" or something she got offended by and she said "i'm not afraid to disown you or not love you anymore. don't get me mad." i was thinking to myself like "really?" i can fully understand why she's upset that i'm underachieving and not going out and doing my thing and how she says it should naturally occur to me and all. HOWEVER, i'm really getting annoyed how she isn't even trying to understand me or at least be supportive towards me whenever i go through my issues or whatever. it actually upsets me. one minute she's leaning on me crying about how her life is, how my father is abusive towards her, how she can't lose weight, how she's tired and doesn't know how to help herself and then when i come to her on the same sh!t, it's "i'm not your friend, i'm your mother". man..... i love my mother but i just wish she could at least understand where my head is at sometimes. she doesn't get it. i pretty much am rooting for her to get out of the shit she's in BUT she doesn't seem all that interested in helping herself. it's as if she wants someone to save her and then she's blaming everyone for why she's doesn't want to do shit.

but what can i say? i know what i have to do, what i WILL do and you know what even though saying this shit kind of makes me somewhat teary eyed thinking about how i feel like my mom views me a failure to a degree and she was like the only person that believed in me when a lot of people didn't, i don't care because i believe in myself. i no longer feel like running away from life where i want to go to a mental hospital or throw myself in front of a train because i feel as if there is no hope for me. that small ounce of hope that i had is now even bigger. i believe in myself. i could die alone for all i care. i love me and nobody can't break me down. NOBODY. not even myself. i'm standing tall and if you don't like me, then too bad. not saying that i'm a perfect person but it is what it is.

just had to rant trill quick.

[maxpowr9]

Myrtle Beach is in South Carolina. I am extremely disappointed you had no idea where that was person. I thought you were intelligent.

[RazorzEdge88]

That post made no sense at all. Go to bed and have some raspberry iced tea (or coffee if that's not your thing) and a big omelette tomorrow morning - it'll help your hangover.

[johaninsc]

I thought it was directed at me for asking what part of SC he visited

in the post I was responding to he never mentioned Myrtle Beach (#3100) previous page

[maxpowr9]

I didn't want to humiliate him in name but a guy on here thought that Myrtle Beach was in New England because I was just there with my family on "vacation".

[Lefty]

He wouldn't be any more embarrassed than I am,

That tranny I picked up at the Barracks in Cathedral City,

the one with the leather bustier, what I took to my suite

at Riviera Palms downtown for the week-end tolded me

her name was Myrtle Beach. We have a 3some date with

her brother Daytona next week-end.

Myrtle Beach

[JohannBessler]

^That's a sexy picture in your signature, Lefty.

I don't understand myself. My sexuality seems to go all over the place...so what do I call myself? Hetero-curious? Tranny-curious?

I've never acted on it, though.

[Native Son]

I might post in them, but I never, ever actually vote in poll threads. Can't see it. Nope, can't see the point.

[frankfrank]

thanks, man. why are you crying for? this is a happy moment. the good news is that the coming out party will be kicking off soon before the new years. i wasn't expecting to be out this soon. more like when i was 27 or 28.

Happy tears are one of the most exquisite of all emotions. I am more likely to cry if I am off-the-charts happy about something, or I see or witness or am part of something unspeakably beautiful, than in sadness. Hunt's tears come from a good place, trust me on that, and I was nearly doing the same thing.

you're progressing, RU, and may the progress build on itself and become a juggernaut that is unstoppable in your quest to be yourself entirely. I also hope that your parents will have discussions about this, and that your Dad is able to convince your Mom that you're still the same son they've always had, and that there's no going back or changing things. She would do well to learn the "...and the wisdom to know the difference" part of the AA Serenity Prayer, which is something that applies to all of humanity.

[refujiunderground]

Happy tears are one of the most exquisite of all emotions. I am more likely to cry if I am off-the-charts happy about something, or I see or witness or am part of something unspeakably beautiful, than in sadness. Hunt's tears come from a good place, trust me on that, and I was nearly doing the same thing.

you're progressing, RU, and may the progress build on itself and become a juggernaut that is unstoppable in your quest to be yourself entirely. I also hope that your parents will have discussions about this, and that your Dad is able to convince your Mom that you're still the same son they've always had, and that there's no going back or changing things. She would do well to learn the "...and the wisdom to know the difference" part of the AA Serenity Prayer, which is something that applies to all of humanity.

that's probably not going to happen with my father talking to my mom about it. my parents are at odds with each other as in my father is very unstable and will toss a dart to hurt my mom's if it means to control her. my mom on the other hand is basically caught up trying to live a life that she thinks is comfortable but isn't to her at all.

i think that she has to be happy with myself first because she's not happy. she has issues that only she can help herself with. i think that she thinks that her issues will go away if someone comes up and cleans her mess or comes around and saves her. that's not going to happen.

one thing about her that i do argue with is that i need to stop being dependent on her, get me a job, be on out of this house and go out on my own. she's right about that. i think she feels that i'm telling her that i'm gay at the wrong time where she's stressed out over 100 things like her job, me being dependent on her and staying at home, my father, the bills, her being at school and etc. she feels i'm using it as an excuse. it may seem like that but it's not the case. even if i did have a job, moved out on my own and etc, she said that she might still be upset about me being gay but she'll deal with it. she's more upset with me not doing what i'm supposed to do on the responsibility front.

[Nishin]

RFG in the past weeks you have been ranted a lot about your being closeted and dealing with homosexuality and coming-out...
To our surprise (to mine anyway) you did something about it much faster than I expected (given you seemed to still be struggling with admitting being gay to yourself), that was really impressive and telling about your character.
The other thing you complain about a lot is your financial dependency and constant arguments with your mother about it, my question is, now that you're out, will you concentrate on solving this issue and what will you do about it?

[RazorzEdge88]

As much as I'm kind of tired of his constant venting, it might not be refuji's fault if he can't find a job. The economy is just that bad.

[Tadaa]

I ain't got no panties on.

[refujiunderground]

RFG in the past weeks you have been ranted a lot about your being closeted and dealing with homosexuality and coming-out...
To our surprise (to mine anyway) you did something about it much faster than I expected (given you seemed to still be struggling with admitting being gay to yourself), that was really impressive and telling about your character.
The other thing you complain about a lot is your financial dependency and constant arguments with your mother about it, my question is, now that you're out, will you concentrate on solving this issue and what will you do about it?

thanks. well, the only solution i see right now would be simply to get any job BUT i'm actually scared to because i might find myself in the same position that i was in my last job with. a job is a job and it pays your bills but at this point in my life, i'm looking towards something to do with my degree or something that will help me break into my field. so even if i were to find a job, i don't think i would stay there for long as i did with my last job.

As much as I'm kind of tired of his constant venting, it might not be refuji's fault if he can't find a job. The economy is just that bad.

well, it is my fault. i accept full responsibility for where i'm at now. it's not the economy's fault. i've been searching for jobs or whatever BUT i blame myself for not doing any internships or taking advantage of job opportunities while i was in college a year ago. i was in school for 7 years (2004-2011) and yeah, i was going through the same episode between 2003-2005 with my mother on getting a job. it was extremely annoying where i just applied to anything to have her shut up. i wasn't interested in working, just staying home or whatever. i do agree that i should have been working. my mind wasn't in the right place and i blame myself for that.

in this case, i don't even know. i would say that i fucked up my job opportunities from joining the police department where i flunked the tests that i didn't study hard enough for that i could have passed. i would also say that i should have been on my j-o-b with persuing law school way before i even graduated with my associates. my mom and other people always warned me that i should figure out what i wanted to do after i graduated and like an idiot, i was just talking, procrastinating and going like "law school" without really doing my research. well, it's coming back to bite me in the ass. well, when you don't learn from your mistakes, don't think and let fear get into your ass, you find yourself like me.

i know that i'm going to have to do the work, have to study my ass off for the LSAT, have to literally go the distance for it but hey... you know what... it is what it is. regardless of the matter, i'm confident that i'll make it, be out on my own, doing something. i have confidence that i will be successful, go to law school or whatever. i'll be okay. even if it takes me til i'm 40 or i die trying, i'm going to succeed. i'll be looking back at my situation like "remember when i was on jub or on my blog crying about how my life sucks, how i wanted to kill myself, how i was scared to come out the closet, how i thought that i would be broke, naked and homeless on the street with 2 college degrees in criminal justice thinking that i really was going to be the failure i thought i was. well, i'm rich and i'm living my life now." like what huntneo said, this is just a moment in time. things will get better. they have to.


yeah, i complain, vent a lot in here and shit instead of being proactive. i agree, it's annoying. i know i type long ass essays as well. it's funny how people act like i don't know what they're thinking or whatever but to be honest with you, i really don't care enough to change it because i like typing long essays and venting and complaining. that's what i like to do, i guess, otherwise i would have stopped doing it a long time ago. anyways, i pretty much have to be proactive and get off my ass and start making moves because it's really hurting my ass. to be honest with you, i'm not upset that i'm in this problem. when i put in the work, stay persistent, get up when i fail and keep going for mine, i pretty much will be good even if i fail or die trying.

i apologize for the long essay or whatever but that's just how i do.

[RazorzEdge88]

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

You just held up a mirror to my worthless life since I graduated high school.

I really hope I don't end up like that. *praytojeebus*

[RazorzEdge88]

I guess it helps that I'm not trying to be a lawyer.

I ain't got no panties on.

I'm butt fuckin naked right now.

[Nishin]

As much as I'm kind of tired of his constant venting, it might not be refuji's fault if he can't find a job. The economy is just that bad.

Oh I didn't mean it that way at all... was genuinely just asking out of curiosity...

thanks. well, the only solution i see right now would be simply to get any job BUT i'm actually scared to because i might find myself in the same position that i was in my last job with. a job is a job and it pays your bills but at this point in my life, i'm looking towards something to do with my degree or something that will help me break into my field. so even if i were to find a job, i don't think i would stay there for long as i did with my last job.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago, well I wasn't living with my parents anymore, but I needed the money and couldn't decide what sort of career I wanted to get in, so during my uni time I did all sort of jobs like sell employee in at caterer shop, I didn't like it but I knew I was there only until I found something better, then I moved on to another job (basically reading newspapers and magazines) which was kind of boring, and then through a friend I was offered a better opportunity (not wage-wise though, but something I actually liked doing)... I think if your primarily goal is to gain some independence to be able to move out, maybe you shouldn't be too regarding and tell yourself that even if you don't like your job (at least as long as it doesn't drive you completely alienated and depressive) it will still be a start and better opportunities will show up eventually...

[refujiunderground]

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

You just held up a mirror to my worthless life since I graduated high school.

I really hope I don't end up like that. *praytojeebus*

you're a funny guy.

so what if you do end up like me? as long as you're still alive, you still have another day to turn your misfortune around. it's not the end of the world. yeah, i may have a hard time struggling to find a job BUT sheit, the future is promising though. you never know what's going to happen. i look at it like how my mom was told by the doctors and psychologists after assessing me at 2 years old telling her that i might be mentally retarded where there was no way i would be able to live a normal life. well, fuck those doctors and the shrink, i'm living a normal life like everybody else is. bet they thought that i would be in the special home or somewhere. the jokes on them. they can kiss my ass.

[RazorzEdge88]

If I don't get an internship and then a job in my field in the next two years, I'll be sucking dick off the freeway for a living.

[refujiunderground]

Oh I didn't mean it that way at all... was genuinely just asking out of curiosity...



I was in a similar situation a few years ago, well I wasn't living with my parents anymore, but I needed the money and couldn't decide what sort of career I wanted to get in, so during my uni time I did all sort of jobs like sell employee in at caterer shop, I didn't like it but I knew I was there only until I found something better, then I moved on to another job (basically reading newspapers and magazines) which was kind of boring, and then through a friend I was offered a better opportunity (not wage-wise though, but something I actually liked doing)... I think if your primarily goal is to gain some independence to be able to move out, maybe you shouldn't be too regarding and tell yourself that even if you don't like your job (at least as long as it doesn't drive you completely alienated and depressive) it will still be a start and better opportunities will show up eventually...

you're right. i gotta start somewhere even if it's something that i don't want to do again. godforbid it's fast food again or another customer service job though.

- - - Updated - - -

If I don't get an internship and then a job in my field in the next two years, I'll be sucking dick off the freeway for a living.

we both know that you'll be good. you probably interning right now.

[scottbrian]

I have a superhero fetish

[RazorzEdge88]

we both know that you'll be good. you probably interning right now.

Nope, I have at least another year before it's practical for me to get into that.

I'll probably be alright, I'm just worried what will happen if I can't parlay my internship into a real job. Looking at planning and GIS jobs, they all want like 3 years experience. That's the problem with jobs today. If you're entry-level, you're fucked. What's perverse is that you're also fucked if you have too much experience, so pretty much every job out there is tailored to people in their 30's who have some level of experience but don't have to be paid as much as a seasoned veteran.

[herry1]

I occasionally have malt whisky with ice in.

[refujiunderground]

Nope, I have at least another year before it's practical for me to get into that.

I'll probably be alright, I'm just worried what will happen if I can't parlay my internship into a real job. Looking at planning and GIS jobs, they all want like 3 years experience. That's the problem with jobs today. If you're entry-level, you're fucked. What's perverse is that you're also fucked if you have too much experience, so pretty much every job out there is tailored to people in their 30's who have some level of experience but don't have to be paid as much as a seasoned veteran.

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. that's what's fucking up the economy for real. you have all these damn employers talking about 2 to 5 year experience, 3 year experience in said field just doing a simple job. they not only want you to have any form of experience as well. they want you to have the specific experience associated with the duties of that job. that's fucking retarded. worst off, you need a degree to begin with to even be qualified for the position. it reminds me of going into college all over again. they make it so hard to get into a 4 year university where you have to have a good SAT score, have to do well in all 4 years of high school, do sports, have jobs, have volunteer experience and all this bullshit. they were making college out to be something that would really kick your ass in high school and to me, the whole college experience was NOT as difficult as they made it out to be. same thing with work. i got fired from my first job which that shit was wack anyway. i went into my second job where people were saying that fast food was a pain in the ass. it really wasn't that bad actually. it's that i wanted something better than what i was doing because i felt like i was a slave getting paid peanuts but the job in itself wasn't difficult.

my guess is that with law school, it'll probably be the same damn thing. it's crazy how they make these things to be the most fucking difficult thing in the world where you have to pass some bullshit ass standard testing, have to jump hoops and loops and when you get there and see the work you have to do, it's like "you had me stressing out and doing all of that for this?" hell, these jobs that they'll make people backflip over fire for probably aren't even as difficult as they're making it to be. these people are fucking funny.

[loki81]

I haven't showered today because an ex-fuck buddy is coming over later tonight (I'm not able to use the last day on my 4-day Comic Con pass, so I sold it to him)

I don't want to be tempted to invite him inside to hang out... not that there's anything wrong with him, and I'm certainly not in an exclusive relationship (as the guy I've been dating for 2 months spends the weekend camping with another guy upstate), it's just not a well I want to revisit.

[borg69unimatrix]

I have a superhero fetish

I do too!!!

[maxpowr9]

I guess it helps that I'm not trying to be a lawyer.

I'm butt fuckin naked right now.

we need pics for evidence

[Huntneo(PT)]

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. that's what's fucking up the economy for real. you have all these damn employers talking about 2 to 5 year experience, 3 year experience in said field just doing a simple job. they not only want you to have any form of experience as well. they want you to have the specific experience associated with the duties of that job.

Yes...during the time I was considering a career change and looking at a variety of postings, you'd be amazed at some of the "jobs" employers demand X amount of experience for.

No one trains anymore? People have to start somewhere.

Of course this "economy" is making it easier for employers to call the shots now. When you have 500 people applying for one position--you can start making all kinds of demands. I've even heard of people not getting jobs because prospective employers didn't like their e-mail address.

also: if you're applying for a job...they're going to assume you don't care to be hired anytime soon. That's why you MIGHT get a rejection e-mail (a phone call, if they're feeling like being nice) six months after you apply.

[refujiunderground]

Yes...during the time I was considering a career change and looking at a variety of postings, you'd be amazed at some of the "jobs" employers demand X amount of experience for.

No one trains anymore? People have to start somewhere.

Of course this "economy" is making it easier for employers to call the shots now. When you have 500 people applying for one position--you can start making all kinds of demands. I've even heard of people not getting jobs because prospective employers didn't like their e-mail address.

also: if you're applying for a job...they're going to assume you don't care to be hired anytime soon. That's why you MIGHT get a rejection e-mail (a phone call, if they're feeling like being nice) six months after you apply.

that's what's crazy. what's crazy is these places don't even want to hire interns and even internship experience is not regarding the same as job experience. if you ask me, these employers are screwing up the country.

hell, i've applied for jobs and they just haven't said squat to me back. it's messed up.

[CottonBolus]

I confess this is my favorite cat gif.

[justanothershyguy]

My favorite song

[CottonBolus]

I confess I am bewildered at the idea that most of the board do not find Nicholas Hoult attractive and only gave him low number on "the rate his looks" thread.



I mean look at him, he is so beautiful.

[CottonBolus]

I confess that I read the New York Times on a daily basis, and I do not pay a subscription to it because I've found a loophole in the system. If you are using google chrome or firefox, erase your cookies, and you wouldn't have to pay.

[CottonBolus]

I confess that I like the New Zealand accent much better than I like the English accent.

[twinkerbell]

I have no "Plan B". I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm not modelling anymore. Last week was hell. Nothing to do but sit around the house, read, play around on the computer, etc. I was going stir crazy. My partner says I don't have to decide right away, there's plenty of time, and we don't need the money. I don't want to be a 'house husband' or be totally dependent on his income like that. I want something to do that's going to be mine. Thing is... I have no Earthly idea what that is. I'm drawn to creative things, but you can't usually make a living at that. Writing appeals to me most, but photography would be easier for me to get into. I started modelling at 14 so I didn't have any defined idea of what I wanted to be "when I grow up". I'm scared I'm going to become totally financially dependent on him.

[johaninsc]

this is an old clip, but the guys who made it should have had the shit stomped out of them



...not funny

[loveguys72]

I have no "Plan B". I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm not modelling anymore. Last week was hell. Nothing to do but sit around the house, read, play around on the computer, etc. I was going stir crazy. My partner says I don't have to decide right away, there's plenty of time, and we don't need the money. I don't want to be a 'house husband' or be totally dependent on his income like that. I want something to do that's going to be mine. Thing is... I have no Earthly idea what that is. I'm drawn to creative things, but you can't usually make a living at that. Writing appeals to me most, but photography would be easier for me to get into. I started modelling at 14 so I didn't have any defined idea of what I wanted to be "when I grow up". I'm scared I'm going to become totally financially dependent on him.

You won't become financially dependent on him because you recognize it as a possibility now, and you find the possibility unappealing. So, you're going to go out and find yourself something that you can call your own and provide your own income before your modelling days are over.

[maxpowr9]

My favorite song

I find it strangely good too but they aren't a bad band compared to say, Neon Trees.

I did 3 crosswords today out of sheer boredom.

[tombastep]

My favorite song

The singer used to be the lead in a band called "the format", they were pretty good. I prefer them over fun.

[Huntneo(PT)]

Okay...wtf is this thread right now?

seriously...

[Huntneo(PT)]

I have no "Plan B". I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm not modelling anymore.

does this mean something is happening that leads you to believe your time is almost up? Is it already up?

this sentence doesn't necessarily make that clear.

[scottbrian]

I do too!!!

thank god i'm not the only one!

[reone]

I have no "Plan B". I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm not modelling anymore. Last week was hell. Nothing to do but sit around the house, read, play around on the computer, etc. I was going stir crazy. My partner says I don't have to decide right away, there's plenty of time, and we don't need the money. I don't want to be a 'house husband' or be totally dependent on his income like that. I want something to do that's going to be mine. Thing is... I have no Earthly idea what that is. I'm drawn to creative things, but you can't usually make a living at that. Writing appeals to me most, but photography would be easier for me to get into. I started modelling at 14 so I didn't have any defined idea of what I wanted to be "when I grow up". I'm scared I'm going to become totally financially dependent on him.

You'd be surprised at how much money being creative can get you. If you have skills then you just need to find a way to purpose them towards a company that can actually use them. Not that it's easy to do that, but it's not impossible. Think of things that you can do well, that you also love, and try to find a path from there.

I actually don't have a Plan B either but I'm working hard in the path that I've chosen. *fingers and toes crossed*


I also confess to having looked for something that was in my hand...

[twinkerbell]

does this mean something is happening that leads you to believe your time is almost up? Is it already up?

this sentence doesn't necessarily make that clear.

Well, I'm not over the hill yet I'm only 22. But I know that this isn't going to be my life for too many more years. For one, the travelling is hell on a relationship. I'm fortunate that my partner has a flexible job and can travel with me sometimes. Like during the London-Milan-Paris run of fashion weeks, he tries to set up his work so the past two years he's been able to telecommute and come with me. But there's still a lot of being away on this or that gig. I loved the travel when I was single, and even for the first couple of years we were together, but now... it's getting tired.

For the other, unless you're really lucky, most models have a 'sell by' date of 30-35ish at the outside. Even if you still look good, there's the years of exposure you've had. People want a 'fresh face.'

I've been getting a lot of work in East Asia. I travel a lot to Singapore, Hong Kong, and Tokyo. Not to be ungrateful for the luck I've had, but those are the worst trips for me now. I should have probably told my agency to put me up for castings in this week's Japan fashion week, but I just couldn't face being half way around the world again so soon after my last job. However, now I'm restless & bored & worried about things. So I know that I need to start planning for my future and not wait until the last minute.

I talked with some friends when we were out tonight about possibly doing an internship with one of the photographers I've worked with. That'll probably be the direction I go. While I think I've got a 'great American novel' in me somewhere, I can do that in my down time. I guess that this year I've been discovering I have a bit of a homebody streak in me.

[JohannBessler]

I ain't got no panties on.

I was wondering why there were skid marks on the floor. :P

[wilbur33]

I ain't got no panties on.

That neither surprises others nor damages your reputation.

I have no "Plan B".

I don't even have a "Plan A".

[loki81]

I fucking hate it when people call me "sir" in a professional enviornment, especially when I'm not supposed to be their manager/supervisor (and sure as hell aren't getting paid to be) even though they insist on treating me like I am.