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  1. #151

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    ... when i was stretching my legs out while jerking off in this chair, i felt my leg muscles pulling....
    I heard quite a few guys discuss this about getting cramps and discussing it with their doctor. They said it's common for frequent-jerkers to tense up the calf muscles hard rhythmically on-and-off to get a better jerk-off.

    The doctors advised keep the calf muscle stretched during the cramping while continuing to jerk off.


  2. #152
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by joswanprince View Post
    I thought Im subscribed to rent men dot com?

    They keep sending me msgs for new local hooker list in my area.

    Like usual, Seattle is always horrible in prostitution.

    Im curious with the list so I checked them all, mostly they're not pass my standard lol

    meh
    Cute, sorta looks like Counter Spade
    <-----jaw dropped.

    The last one...the last one...looks like a dream come true to me.
    Beefcake, bear, dark beady eyes..

    I would spend splendid $$$ to him, seriously.
    I have saving but should I spend my 'student saving' for a top hooker?

    Only my dick knows
    you got some hot guys in your city. those guys are hot but unless they're giving it up for free, i wouldn't pay them for shit. i'll just jerk off to them.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  3. #153
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    I experience frequent sexual ambivalence.

    When I'm really horny, I'll sit here thinking, "good god I need to have a quick fuck right now. I should just find a hook-up already."

    Then I'll jerk off and the next thing I know, I'm all, "eh, who needs hook-ups. I should find a good man whom I can connect with emotionally and cuddle under the stars. :c)"

    Then a day passes, I'm in heat, I'm back to wanting to bang someone again. Lather.rinse.repeat.
    i can relate to what you're saying which is why i jerk off each day as much as possible. how often do you jerk off?
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  4. #154
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    Either every day or every other day. It's fun to forego sometimes so I can shoot really hard the next time.
    well.. you got a lot of willpower to jerk off once a day or every other day, man. then again, you probably have a phone number on deck whenever you need some ass so you're in a good hands whether it's your own or someone elses.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  5. #155
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    Hah, yeah right. Although I'm working on finding a rare hook-up.
    well.... you're looking to hook up with someone from your past or someone who's out your way??


    but back to the thread topic....

    i get really, REALLY uncomfortable whenever i get the sense that a woman has an interest in getting with me. always have been. it makes me very uncomfortable to the point where it makes me nervous. i don't like women like that and i have no interest in getting with one either. i've had women that straight up let me know that they were interested in me and it made my stomach hurt. i was in freeze mode because it was like "she likes me but i don't like her. what the hell am i supposed to do with her? take her on a date. take her out to eat. have sex with her. wtf? i'm not interested in her like that. i'm not romantically interested in her."

    and i seriously don't know what would have happened if i actually decided to go through and have sex with a woman. that might have been the biggest mistake of my life. i've been to strip clubs, masturbating to women, porn (i've had a hard time jerking off to straight porn because it never really interested me) and the conclusion is still the same-even though i want to be with a woman because it's what i've grown up to think, the norm, societial influences and etc, i don't like women to begin with. i should have realized this with all those lap dances where i wasn't even turned on or when i had no emotional attachment or crushes to any of those women that i've jerked off to.

    i prefer females to be my friend though and i would be really tee'd off if any of them decided to try to do that whole "please be my boyfriend" shit on me because it's not going to happen.

    i know that i'll get a boyfriend, hookup with someone sooner or later BUT shit, i would like to be shown the ropes or have a little fun even though at this point where i'm at in terms of coming out and acceptance, it wouldn't be the greatest idea.

    i would love to eat ice cream but it's 4 o clock in the morning. i should be sleeping.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  6. #156
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>i get really, REALLY uncomfortable whenever i get the sense that a woman has an interest in getting with me.

    Another great side effect of coming out. If a woman makes a move on me, I just say "Oh, I'm really flattered, but I'm gay." Seven words. No stress.

    Lex

  7. #157
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    >>>i get really, REALLY uncomfortable whenever i get the sense that a woman has an interest in getting with me.

    Another great side effect of coming out. If a woman makes a move on me, I just say "Oh, I'm really flattered, but I'm gay." Seven words. No stress.

    Lex
    that sounds like a plan. let's say my coworkers or my friends are there when a woman is showing an interest in me, what then? there was a woman that came around my job that was really interested in me last september and i had to pretty much try to not push it any further than she was trying to take it. i couldn't tell her that i was gay because i was around my coworkers which were nosey as fuck. good thing she stopped coming around though. i fear that if i go to toronto with my friends and my brother over the summer that i'm going to be in such a situation where they're going to push me to get pussy or a woman when they don't know. then again, i think that might be the perfect opportunity to come out to them though.

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    Lex is right. Being out will keep that away.

    I meant that I don't hook up often, so this is a rarity for me.

    God, I found some guy who seems unbelievably hot. Just chatting with him had me pacing around my apartment like a bitch in heat, lol.
    you only live once. i say go ahead.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  8. #158
    On the Prowl Robertwho's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    sometimes I think I enjoy watching other people have sex more than I like doing it myself.
    LOL, I think that's goes for me too!

  9. #159
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>then again, i think that might be the perfect opportunity to come out to them though.

    Exactly. You've been in this stressful "I can't let anybody know" spot for some time now, and coming out gets rid of all that. Yeah, you might have some comments, and some people who need time to come to grips with it, and maybe you'll lose a few friends. (You'll probably be surprised, however.) But people do tend to have respect for people who can hold their ground. Who can man up and say "I'm gay, and I won't be ashamed of it". No, they won't all instantly "get it". But I've found most people, even if they "don't like gay people", can respect the position.

    >>>God, I found some guy who seems unbelievably hot. Just chatting with him had me pacing around my apartment like a bitch in heat, lol.

    Well, Jesus, stop pacing and pounce already.

    Lex

  10. #160
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm having a friend who is gay come visit me this coming week and it is driving my BF bonkers thinking I'm gonna cheat on him and have mind blowing sex despite the fact that we really are just two friends who happen to be gay. I hate that my BF gets totally jealous over things like this. The same type of shit happens when a waiter will flirt with me over him at a restaurant.

  11. #161

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^ loki, you are a gentleman, which is why we —or I at least— like you so much!

  12. #162
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    i would like to be addressed by my other nickname on the internet but that would mean possibly coming out. i had to get my pro gay rights on on this other web forum that i frequented on for 11 years when some users started talking shit about this openly gay rap group. my brother reads that site and he knows my screenname on that site.

    another thing too. to all you lurkers reading this and there's more lurkers than registered users. i know there's some of you that seen my face in that pic thread and may know who i am in the internet universe or even in real life. please have the courtesy to not expose my business. if you want to say hi, even though this might be some scary shit, give me a shout on the pm or on the low.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  13. #163
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    oh god... this cutie has me turning into a little bitch right now. i wish i could have a pet like that. he's so cuddly. puts a fucking smile on my face.

    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  14. #164
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    This could not be any more awkward. My BF and I just went to a 7:30 Easter mass with my family (which was a feat in it of itself) and of all people to run into at it, was an ex of mine from college. Course my parents know my ex but not the fact we dated which only added to the drama of the situation.
    Course my BF took solace in the fact that I told him that I dumped my ex because he didn't know how to peel a potato.

  15. #165
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    was going to type this before i left for work.

    i have to jerk off before i go to work and before i go to bed, otherwise i feel weird as shit. i usually end up late to work or end up sleeping late because of it. I LOVE MASTURBATING. i just wish there was new porn and images to keep up with my masturbatory drive. i don't like jerk off to the same shit over and over. after awhile, it gets old and i get desensitized to it. sometimes i get annoyed and try to jerk off to women instead thinking that it'll get me off when i end up not feeling shit as well. i don't like jerking off to women like that because that reminds me of the whole straight lie i used to live and convince myself that i truly was.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  16. #166

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I want to stuff my face with meat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Saybrooke View Post
    I was at the gym once, and this woman was on the elliptical next to me, making motorcycle noises.

  17. #167
    JUB Addict EuroSoccer's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by AlmondMilk View Post
    I want to stuff my face with meat.
    Let me guess, sausages?

  18. #168
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I want sometimes to kill myself, but that would pained some people so I don't, though I'm living a zombie, empty life.

    In fact it would be ridiculously easy, I have tons of meds and I could take all and sit in the bathtub and go to sleep. So easy and tempting.

  19. #169
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^thank you two very much

    I'm in treatment, I see my doctor very often and I'm seeing a psychanalyst since a few months. I had to changed meds often because some were too strong, some not enough, some produced side effects,etc.

    I'm so tired and feeling so empty right now, the thought of taking all the pills becomes more and more tempting.

    "Nice" (thank you again for thinking that ) is good but not enough. I'm craving for people love, touch, intimacy, smile.
    I came out to my mother 1 year ago, telling her that plus all the psychological problems that have gone with it (like medium social phobia, etc). She was quiet. She just ordered me to not tell my father because it would killed him. Since then she hasn't spoken of it with me once, never ask any question, just treated me like I never told a thing.
    My older brother came out to me parents, and it took years to mend their relationships. And y father reported all his hope of normal family and great children on me .
    I'm not good looking, nobody has ever take more than 0,1 sec to look at me. I'm invisible. The few very good friends I have are people who took the time to know me, and time means years, because I'm shy and don't let myself known very easily. I learned a long time ago to wear masks, to be accepted as other would see me. Nice, harmless, someone you would talk 5 minutes, but not very much else.
    When I was a teenager I was so afraid to speak while asleep, that my 'secret' would be revealed, I was constructing dreams so that I would not be tempted to have erotic ones in case of. When my father was driving I took painstakingly care of what I was looking at, I was so afraid that if I was to look at a car driver and he was male my father would catch me looking at him and thought I was gay. I was so scared. And so lonely, nobody to share with my anguish. I never told my parents I was so scared to go outside my home when they told me to fetch some bread at the baker's. I would take my bike and ride as fast as I could so that I would not have to meet anyone. I was scared to meet an acquaintance and to have to have a nice smalltalk. My father never understood why I was so afraid to answer a phone call, why I'm still so reluctant to phone anyone but my best friends, why the look of other people hurt me so much because I was for so long time thinking I was the lowest of the low because I liked boys and not girls.
    I still fear the look of children, afraid they see right through me and all the lies I told myself just to make my life bearable.
    After I felt in love for the first time, I was 24, I was in so much pain because it was impossible, him being straight. I nearly fail at my degree, five years of study at the bin, had have not been lucky to have a teacher support me and understand there was something wrong with me.
    One year before that I "tried" to go with a girl, very nice and intelligent. It lasted 15 days, it was clear since the first kiss that it was a lie and I couldn't impose that to her, it was unfair. The worst was that she understood very much and even said she was sorry. That was so painful so hear.
    At one of my college's party, she and him kissed in front of me and latter that night slept together (she wasn't aware I was in love with him). That's a nightmare I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
    At that time suffered physical pain of sorrow. I trough table away in tears and suffocating.
    It took 5 years, including 4 years away from him, to heal the wounds. We remain friendly (birthday wishes and new year etc).
    But to withstand the pain, I shut myself off. No more thoughts of future, no carrier plan, no family thoughts, not being able to be really a friend with someone before months or years more so.
    I can't keep a job because sometimes I can't leave my bed. I'm crushed by my non life, the masks I'm wearing at work is exhausting and I have less and less energy to not be myself.
    I'm hoarding now, I can't make myself take out anything that I get in my flat, I live on my bed because there is no other part free of things. And the bed is broken since a few years and I have not been enable to change it.
    Now the piles of things creep on my bed and I'm living in less than 2 square meters. I don't open my windows. I have difficulty now being outdoor for more than 1 hour. Thankfully there is internet, without it I would have gone mad I think.

    I have no gay friends, don't know any, apart from my older brother's but we don't see each other much. He is a stable gay man with a partner, having a good job, and I'm unable to communicate with him all my internal fears/pains/void.

    Now at 43 I am furious at me for having lost all these years, for letting myself so down that I passed from slim to obese, that I wouldn't take care of myself (what for ? who would be crazy enough to express the least interest in me ?), that I erected so massive walls around me that now I'm entrapped and its so difficult to go outside.

    I don't know if you can imagine what cravings I have of a single touch, a caress on my hand, a hand on my shoulder. I don't know those things. I never kissed or been kissed by someone I love (kissed the girl, but that was as enjoyable as kissing a wall). Never been intimate with someone.
    Cuddling with a boyfriend is a dream for me, something I'm so afraid I will never experienced. I'm afraid to die without having been able to experience the sharing of humanity, of love, of intimacy, even for a month, a week, a day that so many of you had.
    I'm so jealous when I read some love story, when someone is so happy with his boyfriend/partner. I'm very happy for them, but it mirrors my own inadequacy.



    Please excuse my apologies for all this verbal puking. It is not the goal of the threat. It's a momentarily weakness from me. I'm ashamed to have bothered you.

  20. #170
    JUB Addict EuroSoccer's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by oakpope View Post

    I have no gay friends, don't know any, apart from my older brother's but we don't see each other much. He is a stable gay man with a partner, having a good job, and I'm unable to communicate with him all my internal fears/pains/void.
    Seriously why don't you have a chat with your brother?
    He is the only one who can understand how you feel, and probably he would give you some good advice.
    Even if you don't see him often, he is still your brother, and I believe he cares about you, but of course if the next time you see him you pretend that everything is great, he won't be able to help.
    You need to drop your mask and tell people how you really feel..............if you want to get intimate with someone you have to learn how to do that.
    Start with your brother, what do you have to lose, your father respect?
    Your father has his own life, you should stop caring about his feelings and think about yours, and start living the life you want to live.

  21. #171
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>I think you're projecting. I don't think you realize that you're an uncommonly self-confident, self-actualized person. That trait seems especially uncommon in the gay community. I can't agree with you at all.

    I'm well-aware that not everybody is surrounded by supportive folks in homophobic clothing. Many people really are homophobic.

    But if I am a self-confident, self-actualized gay person...it's because I took those steps that I'm suggesting others do. I don't think people should feel obligated to keep people in their life if those people mainly are holding you down. I have a great relationship with my friends and most of my family, but there are a couple people who were in my life who apparently were more interested in having me around as something other than a positive influence. Somebody to belittle, somebody to criticize, what have you.

    Guess what? Those people aren't in my life anymore.

    I may have made a "It Gets Better" video, but I don't think life magically gets better just because you have more years under your belt. It gets better when you you get older mainly because you then have the ability to select the people you interact with. You can start cutting out the negative influences and start surrounding yourself with the positive ones. And it's by doing precisely that that I was able to presumably become what I am now.

    refuji has posted a lot about wanting to come out, matched with his fear and uncertainty of how people will respond. It's obviously been on his mind a lot recently. And I think that might be because it's about time. And no, I can't guarantee that everybody, or even most people, in his life will respond favorably. But I think the stronger a position he comes at them from, the better it'll be received. And I do think the sooner he comes out, the sooner he can continue on with the rest of his life.

    >>>another thing too. to all you lurkers reading this and there's more lurkers than registered users. i know there's some of you that seen my face in that pic thread and may know who i am in the internet universe or even in real life. please have the courtesy to not expose my business. if you want to say hi, even though this might be some scary shit, give me a shout on the pm or on the low.

    Hell, if I didn't know any better...

    And oak, it sounds like you're starting to reach out from your small space. It sounds like you understand that your life isn't a good life, and you're interested in changing it. And I think you're taking some of the right steps. Hopefully, we can help you take some of them.

    Lex

  22. #172
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    That reminds me - I haven't updated my blog in forEVer...

    Lex

  23. #173
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    for some reason, i'm sort of having a hard time trying to jerk off to rob riches body.



    those man titties are so sexy. i wonder if he could flex them. i tried to jerk off to him once but for some reason, he just couldn't get me there. i guess he's sexy but not that sexy.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  24. #174
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>Some of the JUBbers do use this thread to update details of their lives, and regale us with their feelings about those events. I have reached out to a few of them to try to help them—to give them some support—but I have noticed that those JUBbers don't really seem interested in hearing any kind of response—which puzzles me as to why they posted in the first place.

    I was offering some advice and suggestions to somebody who was having problems once, and they finally just snapped and said "Damnit, Lex! I don't want my problems solved! I want my problems listened to!"

    I've tried to keep that in mind ever since.

    Lex

  25. #175
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    ^You haven't bothered me one bit, Oakpope. I read every single word. I feel concerned.

    Most of what I read seems to reflect symptoms of that depression we talked about. Don't give up on yourself, I beg you. From what I see in here, you are one of the better people on JUB. You are one man I could look up to, in order to become a better person.

    You don't seem to have one single mean bone in your body. I wish I could say the same for myself. When it comes to bullies, I can be as mean as a junkyard dog. I strive to be more like you, Oakpope. I won't stop trying to better myself until the day I die.

    I hope that your expressing your feelings eased the pain a little bit. I know that, very often, expressing your feelings can ease pain.

    I see the overeating as a symptom of that depression. Once the depression is treated, the overeating will stop.

    Sometimes, it takes doctors more than one try to find a drug that will work. 43 years old might seem to be old to you, but doctors consider that "a young man". You still have 30 or 40 years ahead of you. Thank God you live in a country where you don't have to worry about health care.

    Oakpope, I wonder: do you suffer from insomnia? If so, your brain might be trying to self-medicate.

    We are here to listen. I am rooting for you, Oakpope. I see you as too nice a person to lose to a treatable disease.

    Thank you very much, Johann and all the others for your attention and advices. I was very surprised by the high praises you gave me, I'm pretty sure I don't deserve them

    I'm a little better today, worries about finances, but who hasn't worries of his own

    I snapped yesterday maybe because of all the negative things coming all at the same time, I don't know precisely. It may be also because of some chemical imbalance as you said it yourself.

    I will probably see my doctor soon to reevaluate my meds in light of my darker moods these days.

    Once again, thank you very much to have taken time to write those posts which touched and moved me very much.



    As for my brother, well, the communication is not easy. I think he doesn't understand what a true depression means. A little like when someone tells to an alcoholic, "well then just stop drinking !" If only that was that easy

  26. #176
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>Lex, the trouble is that I find your advice to everyone to "just come out of the closet" a one-size-fits-all solution. So I cannot agree with the blanket advice to "come out, come out, whereever you are." I believe each individual needs to assess his life situation very carefully before making such an irreversible decision.

    Let's get this part out of the way first.

    I do not advocate everybody everywhere in every situation should immediately come out of the closet. Nor have I ever advocated that. I pray that you're alone in thinking that the advice I dole out is predicated on the fact that everybody's first move must be to immediately announce to the world at large that they're gay. Because if not, then I probably have blood on my hands which I need to atone for.

    What I do advocate - for everybody - is to attempt to get oneself to a place where one CAN come out of the closet.

    Personal safety is paramount. If you live in a place where gays are routinely ridiculed if not beaten, then obviously, coming out of the closet there is a terrible idea. But that doesn't mean you then need to resign yourself to a life of being closeted. It just means you need to work on getting the hell out of there. That may be a relatively simple measure, or it may be a multi-year plan of planning, saving money and working towards a job/career that would enable you to move. But whichever it is, I think it's a vital step in living a better life. Because if you're in a place where being gay will not be accepted, that won't suddenly change.

    >>>I have seen you in moving pictures. From that experience, I would classify you as a self-confident, masculine man who doesn't betray one scintilla of femininity, either in his mannerisms, his speech, or his attitude.

    Then you have seen me at what some would classify as "my best". Or at least, "my most straight-acting". As it turns out, many people ARE surprised upon finding out that I'm gay. But just as many aren't surprised in the slightest. And they figured it out from any number of visual and audio clues that I give out, both conscious and unconscious.

    >>>But our society values masculinity in males, and abhors femininity in males, in both the straight and the gay communities. A small, feminine gay man living in a backwoods town who takes your advice exposes himself to bullying, and can lead to both suicide and murder. The FBI counts homosexual murders into the thousands every year.

    Accurate as far as it goes. But I'm also guessing that the small feminine gay man living in a backwoods town probably already gets more than his share of grief - for being a small feminine presumed-by-the-hicks-to-be-gay man living in a backwoods town. I don't expect such a man to suddenly find his voice and announce that he's here, he's queer, get used to it. I hope that he'll decide that there's not much future there, and work on finding a way out.

    My advice to refuji was to him alone. Just as when I advise one person to "make a move on his friend", that doesn't mean everybody should make a move on their friend. Or if I suggest somebody stop talking to their uncle, I don't mean everybody should stop talking to their uncles. You're welcome to disagree with it - and apparently, you're not alone in that assessment. But I stand by my post.

    Lex

  27. #177
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    trill talk, i feel like spilling my entire guts right now

    i'm lazy when it comes to private messaging people back so i apologize to you know who for not getting back at you right away. i'll reply to you later.

    yes, i know i have an attitude problem and anger issues. i also don't respond well to criticism. sometimes i'll be cool about it and other times, i'll get really tee'd the fuck off. i'm going to admit another thing. to moufofkhaos and some other people in here that i've gone off on in the past, ya kind of push my buttons the wrong way when you say your responses back to mine so i say some shit to piss ya off right back. that's just how i am. if i feel like i'm being pushed, i'll get pissed. sometimes i'll shove back and other times, i'll keep quiet. i tend to let my anger build up to the point where i might just spaz out randomly.

    i'm beginning to realize that i don't have to have the last word in everything or i can't get mad or do whatever i want to without there being consequences. there's some people outthere that would like to hear me being in handcuffs or locked up because that's all they expect from me. i have a bachelors degree in criminal justice and i have no criminal record at all so they can kiss my ass for hoping that i go down the tubes. i also am not a drug dealer, murderer, gangbanger, or a billy bad ass. there's some people that judge me without even really getting to know me in the first fucking place. it's annoying as all hell.

    i would smoke weed all the time but i can't because it messes my head up. sometimes i experience psychosis episodes like that time in toronto if that was weed i had, i end up going nuts and etc. i'm looking at this thread on sohh forums about weed strains

    http://forums.projectcovo.com/showth...post1138692461

    and haha... just looking at the pictures like what this one guy posted



    that shit looks delicious BUT let's say i smoke something like this. i'm in another world. i remember last summer back in june when i smoked this, i was gone. i had this pipe that i got from this headshop and i was gone. that bubba kush helped bring me out the closet. i knew that i most definitely couldn't have been straight when i was shouting out said person's name, almost making out with my computer screen and running to my bedroom, jumping on my bed, clinching my asscheeks, yelling out loud to be fucked.

    plus on top of that, the career field that i'm entering is huge on drug testing. you have to be drug free for 3 years plus in order to be considered for a position for some jobs (fbi, state police, etc)
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  28. #178

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    sometimes I think I enjoy watching other people have sex more than I like doing it myself.
    I think that's a syndrome. I've heard lots of guys say that; I might be the same, I think.

  29. #179
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>>a really bad decision with a really hot guy

    This could be an entirely separate website.

    Lex

  30. #180
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    My first time was with a hot and well-hung guy, and I thought I'd totally hit the jackpot. Ends up he was an utter klutz in bed, and couldn't take direction to save his life. It being my first time, I still had a good time, but it remains the least of my sexual experiences. If I had the same guy in my bed right now, I'd tell him to get out...or start applying the duct tape.

    Lex

  31. #181
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I've been gardening for my widowed mother, and watching Suddenly, Last Summer (1993) and Lady in a Cage (1964).

    Both movies deal with overprotective mothers and their homosexual sons.

  32. #182
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    he was incredibly good looking. great body, hung, great in bed, the works... but inviting a guy over whose name I didn't even know to have sex was a pretty stupid/reckless decision.
    I do it all the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    so, while it was pretty hot (and still has a place in my spank bank on lonely nights), in retrospect it seems like pure luck of the draw that he wasn't a psycho or crawling with STD's.
    There's condoms for this situation.

  33. #183
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    So um...
    I was underage when I first joined JUB.

  34. #184
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Normally it sits on a shelf but not wanting to let the bud light go to waste from a party, I brought out "das boot" for dinner tonight (gift to all the groomsmen of a friend's wedding). Fit 3 Bud cans in there. Good times.

  35. #185
    ...is no hippie Harke the Boeotarch's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    in my first ever sexual encounter with a guy... he came in my eye and ran out the door a minute later.
    I hope you had contact lenses in.

  36. #186
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    Doesn't that make it hurt worse?
    To act as eye-condoms, as it were.

    I recently got some eucalyptus oil in my eye, while on my way to the sauna. It did sting, but made my eye feel wonderfully fresh.

  37. #187
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by RazorzEdge88 View Post
    You realize you get banned for that, right?
    Even if that was some years ago and no longer holds true?

  38. #188
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Or they'll ask for proof of age now. You might have to send a moderator a picture of you hold your driver's license or something.

    Lex

  39. #189
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    watching bits of mtv true life: i'm a sex addict is pissing me off for two reasons. one because i'm jealous and two, i don't see why people are bitching about not having enough, having too much sex. shut the fuck up for crying out loud. i don't want to hear that shit. if you're addicted to sex, stop fucking. it's simple. i'm pissed off right now at being a virgin with nobody but at the same time, i don't feel like fucking any guy that jumps into my lap right now. damn.... fuck being a virgin.

    and i feel like punching this pathetic ass loser in the face on true life. his name is isaax. fucking pathetic as well as this sorry ass hoodrat. where do they get these lames from?
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  40. #190
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    >>> if you're addicted to sex, stop fucking. it's simple.

    Yep. And if you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking. Simple.

    Lex

  41. #191
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    >>> if you're addicted to sex, stop fucking. it's simple.

    Yep. And if you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking. Simple.

    Lex
    alcohol, i can understand. sex... forgive me for my ignorance or because i'm a 25 year old virgin that has never been in the dugout to go up to bat yet, i don't see how you anybody can get addicted to sex. i heard of people having high sex drives where they need to fuck everyday but sex addiction? i wish i had a sex addiction so i can feel like a dirty whore and go to the clinic. just thinking about being a virgin almost entirely from my own doing just pisses me off.

    and damn these people are fucking PATHETIC. my generation is fucking pathetic. geez. and mtv.... just watching a moment of this reminds me of why i don't fuck with mtv anymore.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  42. #192
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    If you're literally a sex addict - not like "oh my God, I'm addicted to these chocolate chip cookies!", but seriously an addict - it is precisely the same as being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling. People overrun their "common sense" filter to get their fix, whether that means going back to people that slap them around, or hooking up with strangers on a constant basis (even if they really don't want to). It may sound fun, but it isn't. It's like being forced to eat a huge chocolate cake every day - only sounds fun until you actually have to do it.

    Lex

  43. #193
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    my mother walked in on me masturbating. i almost got busted jerking off to some male strippers. i need to put a lock on my door.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  44. #194

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I found it purely by accident channel surfing, and now I'm a little addicted to "FRED: The Show" on Nickelodian.

    I think he's adorable, and I'm relieved to Google that he's 19.

    I feel like such a perv.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  45. #195
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    i joined adam4adam some weeks ago and i posted up a pic of my body. now i know how women feel when they have multiple guys getting at them with the purpose of only having sex. it's creepy. very, very creepy. talk about looking for love in the wrong places. i'm a bit scared because it's almost predatory. those guys are swarming like vultures. i might delete my account but i actually tried to talk to someone from there. dude and me are in the same town. i'm trying to see where that goes first before i delete my account. that is way too much for me.

    i'm still new to this whole entire experience. not even out yet and i still feel a bit scared to keep on walking along with this. it's who i am but at the same time, this to me is crazy because i knew that this was coming but i never felt that i would be able to have the heart to deal with it. i really want to experience love as cheesy as that sounds but at the same time, at what cost though. when i was in college, i felt like i could easily hook up with another guy because i felt there were guys that actually understood where i was coming from. i was in denial to myself but still, had i been pushed by the right person, i would have hooked up with a guy. nowadays, i don't have that push to come out. i'm basically going out my way to meet other gay people in person.

    at the end of the day, i just want to be comfortable in my skin and as for a partner, someone who basically understand me for me and who i can be myself around without feeling worried that they might shit on me for it. i know i'm weird but at the same time, i'm about as human as everyone else.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  46. #196
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I met this guy online, in a non-sexual context. He wasn't out, because (as he said) he didn't think he was hot enough. He wanted to work out and bulk up and then, once he felt confident in his looks, he'd come out. Well, finally he felt he'd gotten enough muscle to come out, and meet guys. And sure enough, he attracted a fair amount of guys. About which he told me, "I dunno. I think they only want me because of my body."

    I wasn't whether to laugh or smack him around.

    Lex

  47. #197
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    I met this guy online, in a non-sexual context. He wasn't out, because (as he said) he didn't think he was hot enough. He wanted to work out and bulk up and then, once he felt confident in his looks, he'd come out. Well, finally he felt he'd gotten enough muscle to come out, and meet guys. And sure enough, he attracted a fair amount of guys. About which he told me, "I dunno. I think they only want me because of my body."

    I wasn't whether to laugh or smack him around.

    Lex
    you're a funny ass dude, man. i like how you use your smarts and add humor to it. it's genius.

    i wouldn't say that it's not about being wanted but more so about finding someone who understands where i'm coming from first before i do it with them. these guys are about the now. it's like they don't give a shit about who they're fucking more so about busting a nut and leaving. i honestly don't want that right now at this moment. i have the horrible feeling that these guys are just going to thurst their dicks up my ass without even knowing that my asshole hasn't had anything besides a thermometer up there which hasn't been up there since i was like 10 or 11. i'm not looking for the one but i'm looking for someone who's in the same boat or understands my situation. i'm a virgin that is completely inexperienced. i'm looking for someone to show me the ropes or at least be in a similar situation. they're not out yet so two of us have to be on the low in complete secrecy. i think the whole idea of going to another town or sneaking over to such and such place to hook up is kind of fun.

    i just hope that he doesn't have herpes or something.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  48. #198
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    There was something else up there at 10 or 11?
    whoops... nothing else besides that. well, i did try to put a finger or two up there around the hole trying to take bits of shit out my ass but that's nothing though.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  49. #199
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    ROFLMAO!

    What were you trying to do? Give yourself a turdgasm? (google it)
    hell no. as a kid, you never stuck your finger up your ass out of curosity? i remember doing that when i was like 9. i think between that and sniffing my finger after i shoved it up my ass. if i knew then what i knew now, i wouldn't have done that.

    but yo.. i have to confess some things off my head. there was this indian, arab older guy probably his late 30s or early 40s that was walking around in a tracksuit when i was with my mom heading to some clothing store right in some town off of route 3. he had a sexy back and ass. wooooop. he probably wasn't wearing anything underneath but damn, i was about to take a picture of him and put him on tapthatguy. too bad he had a gut though when i got a side view of him.

    i would also like to confess that despite having profiles on okcupid and adam4adam, i'm starting to hate those sites with a passion especially adam4adam. i'm still waiting for this one guy to say something to me. i unlocked my photos for him. i'm waiting for him to give the yay or nay so i can delete my account. you know.... i would like to have sex but i'm a virgin and as a virgin, i'm not trying to bathe myself into the water and get myself completely wet. i want to unleash myself slowly. sort of like how i started out driving. you know... i'm just learning so by the time i get comfortable, i can fuck my way and get as dirty and nasty as i want to be. and if a guy is going to fuck me, i want to be schooled and owned. i want to basically be dominated and at the same time, not to the point where i'm yelling in pain. in other words, if you plan on being the top and i'm the bottom. DO NOT fucking kill my asshole with your dick. i do not want to get pissed off to you to the point where after everything is over, i'm itching to go to the kitchen to cut your neck open because you fucked my ass up literally. be gentle with me but not too gentle like i'm a bitch.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  50. #200
    The gay gargoyle G-Lexington's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    too bad he had a gut though when i got a side view of himtoo bad he had a gut though when i got a side view of him.
    More cushion for the pushin'. I thought you knew that by now.

    As for the rest of it, I'm thinking you need to step way back. If memory serves, you've never been with a guy yet. I'd say your first time with a guy should probably be nothing more than making out, mutual j/o, and maybe oral if you think you're up for it. Get used to having a guy in bed with you first. The "I want to be dominated and a bottom" should probably wait until you're used to that part.

    Lex

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