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  1. #2001
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    being a guy is awesome, I totally understand Female -> Male transsexuals.... but I don't get why a guy would want to become a girl.
    So they can have sex with lots of awesome guys?


    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    It wasn't so much wanting to be a woman, but more so jealousy over their ability to be sexy/sensual. And I have to admit, I liked all the accessories on the women I listed. Men's clothing is quite bland, and boring by comparison.
    That too.

  2. #2002
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    this may sound stupid and immature, but lately--I don't bother to compliment people (on their looks) who I know don't find me attractive as well.

    It seems that a good number of people don't take a compliment seriously or give a damn about it unless it comes from someone they find "hot".
    I have a terrible time taking compliments because I was a fat, acne-ridden teenager (your childhood really does form some nasty habits when you become an adult). In turn, I hardly compliment someone but when I do, it is very sincere. I have dealt with enough saccharine people to loathe them.

  3. #2003
    Hockey Players' Butts > desertboi's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    The very first time I had sex with a guy, I was going to bottom for this really cute guy I met at college. Things were going really well... Until the point when he was rimming me and I accidentally farted. I was so embarrassed! I sat up, looked at me, and started laughing. Luckily it didn't kill the mood. We still hook up sometimes and he still laughs about it.
    Hockey is life.

  4. #2004
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I hate my job right now. I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow (typically 9am) because people are assholes and took a holiday tomorrow.

  5. #2005
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    I hate my job right now. I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow (typically 9am) because people are assholes and took a holiday tomorrow.
    wow. i feel your pain, man. do you get out early?

    i realize that when i'm not eating fruit by the foot or any of these sugary foods and drinks, i am . just jerked off about some minutes ago and wow... i was feeling tired before and now i know that i'm about to feel extremely tired now. i feel like going to off to sleep right now BUT why? still have to fill out job applications and clean up my room because my cousin from england is going to be taking over my room. she's going to be sleeping in my bed while i'm going to sleeping on the fucking makeshift cot in my brother's room.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  6. #2006
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I was just thinking a bit here.

    (hows that for fucking up a reputation?)

    my thought...
    if Max hates his JOB so much,
    why doesn't he just quit and
    join the 47% I heard about?

  7. #2007
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I don't typically hate it but because like nobody is gonna be in the office tomorrow, I have to stick around and do coverage and phones like a bitch. It's why I bought a book this week. At least I'll be getting paid to read.

  8. #2008

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by maxpowr9 View Post
    I hate my job right now. I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow (typically 9am) because people are assholes and took a holiday tomorrow.
    I have to BE at work at 620 AM. I get up at 4AM. I have been doing this since early October, with NO days off. I work 10-15 hours a day. I will have to do this for another few weeks.

    Frankly I have very little sympathy for you.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  9. #2009
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Enchanted View Post
    I'm confessin' I think some jubbers are way too sensitive,and make a big deal of literally nothing.
    that's jub right there for you. some people get uptight over nothing and worst yet, some folks actually are ready to over obvious jokes.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  10. #2010
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    My reputation may be shot on here butt,

    out of respect for the holi-phuque-dayze

    I will pass on the caustic and sarcastic

    bon mots I am beloved and noted for.

    Mr 69, what the phuque do you do that

    no one else can help you...sperm donoring?

    Max, buy one of the Kindles. You can hook

    up at the library and have a virtual library on

    hand 24/7. They even 'return' them for you!

  11. #2011
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    1. I hate being bored at work. It's not mind numbing like my old job which could be done in the span of about 3 hours while spend the other 6 wasting away. It's the reason I am trending more and more towards accounting because I'm one of those that don't mind repetitive tasks (I have played MMOs for over 6 years).

    2. Correcting other's mistakes that could have been avoided should be a crux for everyone. People would rather make the mistake and let someone else fix it than ask for help about how to do something correctly. This is why I hated tutoring and would never teach. People would just come ask me to do the problems for them and not learn anything.

    3. Much of my frustration/anger comes with my age and how many companies irrationally think that because I am some mid-20s guy, that I cannot be in management. I call it reverse ageism. My bosses are not as bad as the ones at my old company but there is at least one who is the laziest piece of shit. He's like the asshole CPA I had to deal with for one of my part-time jobs who let his interns do all the work without checking it and they made simplest mistakes. The "asshole CPA" is her husband which makes it that much more fucked up. I sense a divorce in their future.

  12. #2012
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by MoePhoenix7 View Post
    You already know that I'll do the honors.



    But it always come from a place of love.
    10 years ago, she was the shit. oh man.... how time flies.

    but anyway, i confess to contemplating about growing my hair out into a big ass fro. haven't done that since i was in the 8th grade. my dumbass elementary, middle, junior high school wrapped all into one was against guys getting cornrolls and twists and stuff like that. i was THIS close to getting twists or cornrolls and i had to shave it all off. it took me months to grow it. MONTHS. i look back @ my baby photos and damn, i was looking really good with the twists/cornroll combination in my hair. so far, it's been about a month (october 18th) since i got a haircut when i went with my mom on a trip down to dc for a day. my hair is nappy as fuck but it's growing for sure (that used to be a problem). i'm sort of worried about the left side of my hairline on my face. it might be receding. i want to get twists or cornrolls or possibly both.

    another one of my ocd tendencies..

    -i have a thing against scratching my hair when it itches because my personality might change, i'll look angry as hell and unattractive. i'll let my head itch the daylights out of me but as of recent times, i've been rubbing my hair around out of sheer boredom or when i'm feeling stressed out.

    -i also have a thing against hand against my face like this. i think that it'll have me feeling depressed or make my depression come back up.

    -i don't like to scratch myself for the same reason why i don't want to scratch my hair.

    -i actually think that i'll be less nervous when i don't drink tea.

    -i think i'm smarter when i leave my curtains open 24/7 especially at night where the light from the streetlights are shining in my room.

    damn, my mind is fucked up.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  13. #2013

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Right now I'm kind of obsessing on Dez Duron from "The Voice". Physically, I think he's about ideal.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  14. #2014
    A Total Bottom mbamike's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    My BFF put a hickey on my ass. It's about an inch from my asshole.

  15. #2015
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I don't have a reputation!

  16. #2016
    Dragon hugs and wolf kiss alister's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by mbamike View Post
    My BFF put a hickey on my ass. It's about an inch from my asshole.
    That' sounds hot, I confess that right now I'd love to be putting a hickey on my boyfriend's butt. I'm horny as hell right now

  17. #2017
    Dragon hugs and wolf kiss alister's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    It's been almost three months since I've seen my boyfriend, he's on his way here to spend the weekend. I'm seeing a lot of and in my future

  18. #2018
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Unlax 'Q-P',

    Ms attitude that wanted to go balls to balls with you apparently

    has become DISenchanted

    here and gone elsewhere to spread her cheer and warmth.

    Stiff upper lip and all lad, try not to
    Last edited by Lefty; November 21st, 2012 at 07:23 PM.

  19. #2019
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    ^Me, too.

    About once or twice a month my hormones overwhelm me..
    Hot flashes? j/k

    So today, I went to a bar after work and I swear I met my psychological twin. I actually spent about 4 hours just chatting with him (he's totally straight) and it was just amazing basically watching how I would existentially respond to myself.

  20. #2020
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Enchanted View Post
    CupidBoy...You indirectly said you are hotter than me!
    So I challenge you we both to take topless pics and make a poll.
    If you won me,I promise I'll move my ass from this site!

    Let's see if you have enough balls!
    well damn. looks like cupid won.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  21. #2021
    JUB Addict Tadaa's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by AWP82 View Post
    Not really.
    Then where was the opportunity to get his number?
    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3139/2530446427_a5004ed715_o.jpg

    SiriusXM 11am to 3 EST

  22. #2022
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Dude!

    If you did not have an intimate relationship with either of his parents and you did not

    spend his formative years providing day care for him, it's an open field... My vote says

    nine years is nothing....not to many years ago on the str8side 9-10 yrs was a norm...

    Guy would go to college, start his career and then look to snag a permanent piece.

    Most important, it is nobody elses freaking business what 2 adults do willingly.

  23. #2023
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    What kind of attention are you craving?

    Doesn't Bennie like you tonight?

    Just Bored? Frustrated? Horny? YES?

  24. #2024
    Rambunctiously Pugnacious JayHawk's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by joswanprince View Post
    Homo-drama -_-



    goes well with country music
    That isnt homo-drama that is a tragedy
    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  25. #2025
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    haha... back when i was 9 or 10, i masturbated in my late uncle's house. hump the floor in one of their rooms. i think i did that like twice. one of those times, my father and me were laying down on the floor watching tv. we were like itches away from each other and i fucking humped the floor right in front of him without him even knowing. i tried to use a piece of cardboard to hide what i was doing though since he was right next to me. the funny thing too was it was during an episode of ocean girl and ocean boy which was on the disney channel back in the day.

    my brother, my father and me used to all sleep in the same bed at one point for some weird reason and i would masturbate there too. i would hump the bed and they would tell me to stop rocking the bed. little did they know what i was doing. i was a horny little fucker back in the day. i had no bounds.

    i used to have a drowning fetish as a teenager where i used to get turned on by people that were in the process of drowning. it was an instant masturbation thought.

    about a minute ago, i actually jerked off in my brother's room while he was sleeping. right now i'm typing this in my brother's room since my cousin is sleeping in my room tonight. he doesn't even know that i fucking skeeted in his room while jerking off to some naked guys pictures in his line of view. lucky he didn't get up.

    i started masturbating when i was 8. i've been jerking off for the past 18 years. before that,used to tickle myself and touch my skin all sensually. i remember as a 5 year old isolating myself in my room where the song "the kissing game" was playing in the living room and me just feeling all over myself. it felt good. even back then i was horny.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  26. #2026
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    Attachment 900061

    LOLwtf?



    You were just on a roll there, huh?
    yeah, i really didn't give a fuck back then. didn't even know that what i was doing was masturbation. i connected the dots much later and unfortunately, this was around the time when i was being told that masturbation was wrong and "sinful". when i figured it out, i felt ashamed and embarrassed with myself where i tried to get myself to stop masturbating. that right there was a huge mistake. i was dealing with that as well as my sexuality at the time as well as trying to be accepted. basically made me into a really angry mess.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  27. #2027
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Is Benny dating Now?

    Other than that, you sound like you need a friendlier friend with benefits or at least a casual acquaintance

    that doesn't mind doing occasional 'stand ins.'

  28. #2028
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    I was in 4th grade when I started masturbating... I knew enough not to do it in front of anyone, but I'd jerk off any time I had the chance. if my parents dragged me to a family friend's house and I got bored, I'd make an excuse to go to the bathroom and go beat off.

    but I couldn't cum back then, which made it easier.
    that was the best part about masturbating back in the day. you could orgasm without busting a nut and sometime later like 10 or even 5 minutes later, you can do it again. it was the best.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  29. #2029
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Nothing wrong with those my friend.

    Somewhat on the sick society sad but,

    I don't think anyone other that a complete

    ass would complain. Can't violate anything

    here, you're not violating any rules, scamming,

    slamming, dealing or selling.

    BTW, Santa and Rudolph have been displayed in

    fully illuminated RedNeck mode by public media.

  30. #2030
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    ^I can't send it by PM either.

    I don't know if this is against TOS, but if it is, mods may delete these two messages.

    Link:

    http://www.snopes.com/holidays/chris...s/badsanta.asp
    that isn't so twisted. funny indeed. i bet you there is someone outthere whose real name is santa clause. that would be funny.

    I AM HAPPY AS FUCK THAT AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW HAS BEEN CANCELLED. ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!!!
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  31. #2031
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    i think i'm sick. my throat feels weird, i have a headache and my left ear feels sore. maybe that's why i feel like being extra mean and bullying people today. i just feel like randomly punching other guys in the face for no reason, throwing them on the ground and kicking their faces in. i could chase another guy right now for their life and kick the shit out of them. well, i can say that would be attributing to my self hatred and frustration with myself as well with life. last night, i was doing so deep thinking about what if i was stuck in this very same position around this time next year. i was already made with myself. i was also getting a bit heated with certain people that were talking shit about me. i was like "yo... if i'm in this position next year, i'm probably going to hurt somebody or hurt myself, for real. if i hurt somebody, i'm whooping the life out of one of those dudes that stay talking shit about me. i'm going to make them feel exactly how i feel about myself right now and i'm going make sure they never forget the beating i'm going to inflict on them. i want to make sure that they lose teeth, have black eyes, have their noses busted up, have broken ribs, fractures and the whole shit. i'm really going to fuck them up.

    oh well, i would never do anything like that even though i'll admit, i certainly am not in the mood to deal with anybody's bullshit right now. even walking through walmart yesterday during black friday with my brother and my cousin, i simply didn't give a fuck. my attitude was like "i don't care" and "fuck everybody". i accidently bumped into one woman and she was yelling "excuse me" with an attitude. i simply didn't care enough to look back or say anything to her.

    there was also a little girl at walmart who asked me "could you please buy me this pink jacket?" that was her words. i looked @ her with with this . she gave me this serious look. i looked back at her, laughed and walked away back to my brother and my cousin who were in back of me looking at these dvds. i don't know if she seriously wanted me to buy her that jacket or if she was just asking me to help her get it off the rack. me being the guy that i was i acted like she wasn't talking to me and strolled off like "did she seriously ask me to buy her that jacket?"
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  32. #2032
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    So my brother and I haven't talked since my bday and I had thanksgiving at his condo. It was hilarious to see me getting along with his wife and him getting prissy over it. He is a bigger drama queen than me which I severely relish. He has gotten FAAAAAAT too! He has to be at least 250lbs now.

  33. #2033
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^Nope.

    When my dad married my mom, he was 6-foot 150lbs. Now he is at least double that weight.

    My brother was the "jock" of the family. In high school he was very similar to my dad. My brother is on track to mimic my dad. The funny part is at least physically, I have my dad's features and my mom's personality while my brother has the inverse.

    I was the fat fuck of the family. I love telling the story that I weighed 13lbs when I was born and my mom gave birth to me naturally. At my worst, I was 6-foot, 215lbs. Now I am 6'3" and 175lbs. Reckon I am "skinny fat".

  34. #2034
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I hate that sometimes just because things are going really well for them, they get all judgy when it isn't with me and think that I have a lot of excuse when in fact I have very very bad luck and unlucky enough to have a lot of bad things happening to me at the same time. I got a really bad fever and sore throat until I have literally no voice on the day that I have to attend 2 finals presentation and people start talking shi** about me not responsible and not taking care of my body. B*** Not everyone lives in a mansion with maids and have your parents near by you where they can plan out every single meal for you so you don't need to worry about what to eat and you can just go back to you sweet luxurious home and do your work everyday like a robot.
    Last edited by Scealle; November 23rd, 2012 at 02:20 PM.

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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    i finger fucked one of my sister's friend a few years back. He came over to play yugioh but we ended up watching porn. The man was receiving a blow job and the female started fingering him and he wondered how that felt like.

    oh and i was 16 and he was like 12, he added me on facebook last year.
    Last edited by bi-4u2; November 23rd, 2012 at 05:37 PM.

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    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    @Johann

    The common denominator is that they both got married. There is actually a strong correlation between being married/coupled and overweight. Yes, your metabolism does slow down overtime but that isn't the main reason.

  37. #2037
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    When I see a pine tree air freshener dangling in someone's car, I assume they're a bit of a dim bulb.

  38. #2038
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    When I see a pine tree air freshener dangling in someone's car, I assume they're a bit of a dim bulb.
    Actually, it's like the HRC symbol for smokers. You ever see one of those in a car, they're a proud smoker.

    For some obscure reason, I stepped on a scale at my bro's house and I lost 2lbs?

  39. #2039

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I found this song by accident looking for something else, and LOVE it !!

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I finger fucked one of my sister's friend before. He came over to play yugioh but we ended up watching some porn my cussing had stashed but left in the dvd player, anyway one guy was getting a blowjob and the girl started fingering him.

    He wondered how that felt like so wile he was jacking off i started fingering him and then finger fucked him till he came.

    the damage reputation part was that he was 12, i was 15 back then so.... I felt really bad after but hey last year he added me on Facebook

  41. #2041
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    well, i had like three crazy dreams in a row.


    don't remember my first dream but i do remember my second and third. the second dream, it was a class reunion from grade school, high school, and college with random people i knew. one of them outed me and i flat out denied it. it then turned into a party in somebody's living room. at some point of the party, my brother was on the phone with my mom who just came from the doctor and she had some really bad news. it was something that i had to hear and it turned out that she had a serious heart condition which was irreversible and incurable which was pretty much going to kill her. i tried to act like i was okay, admitted that i was going to experience a nervous breakdown and was damn near ready to flip out. it was at this point where i was talking to two guys that were 2 grades lower than me in high school. they were pouring out drinks and i told them that i didn't want any. one of them caught an attitude when i said that, i got upset, then they started arguing and that was when shit went downhill. i just went off on them and pulled out a gun and shot the guy that caught an attitude with me although it didn't show me shooting him. he was on the ground and surprisingly, no bullet holes was shown on him and no blood was leaking out of him. he was just on the ground clutching his stomach and all. i was trying to shoot this other guy but he just back up on the wall while i hand my gun in my hand, having a fit. never was so mad in a dream before. i just spazzing out, threatening folks, cursing and waving around my gun in a burst of rage while some guy, i dunno if it was the other guy didn't look like it, was pushed up against the wall, looking at me really terrified in fear for his life. he looked scared as fuck.

    now i can recall my first dream which was basically christmas shopping. we were going in and out of stores looking for gifts and i was looking for a video game for my brother as well as the strategy guide that comes with it. it was fun.

    the third dream was me driving through irvington, seeing how the town got further ran down, driving a purple lambo speeding down a main street. i saw a house fire while i past by and i was about to run into some kids playing in the street.

    but anyways, i don't know what it was but i confess to having suicidal thoughts this morning when i woke up. i woke up feeling tired of life. i was just thinking to myself that i couldn't spend another year living or feeling like this. i was just feeling fed up. however as the thoughts about blowing my head off and slitting my wrist in a bathtub came up, i also thought about my mother and how much what i would have done would affect her. i hate seeing my mom all stressed out and in pain. i didn't want to make her even worse than she is by doing that. then i started to think about some happy thoughts and i went back to sleep. the thing that bothered me besides the thoughts was just feeling that i was living life feeling like there was no hope and that there was nothing or nobody in this world to stay alive for. it was like the way i was living now was the way my life was going to be forever. i was cringing and was like fuck this shit. at that point, i don't think there was anybody that could convince me to not off myself.

    i was wondering if i should say this or not because i didn't want to generate any form of attention to myself or have people looking at me much more weirder than i already am. i also didn't want anybody to say anything about it telling me that i need help or acting worried and concerned. i don't feel like that right now so it's nothing worth to trip over. just disregard what was said.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    refuji, just a few days ago I caught a post of yours where you were listening to music and you were as happy as you could possibly be. Now all of a sudden you're (briefly) feeling suicidal. And in a few days you'll probably be happy again.

    Have you ever been diagnosed for manic depression/bipolar disorder? These SEVERE mood swings should be treated.

    If you think back say 5 years ago or 2 years ago, were the swings worse back then, better, or much the same?

    At this stage I'm worried that it gets SO uncontrollable that you risk harming yourself during a 'bad phase'.

    You should see about possible medication.

  43. #2043
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickenGuy View Post
    refuji, just a few days ago I caught a post of yours where you were listening to music and you were as happy as you could possibly be. Now all of a sudden you're (briefly) feeling suicidal. And in a few days you'll probably be happy again.

    Have you ever been diagnosed for manic depression/bipolar disorder? These SEVERE mood swings should be treated.

    If you think back say 5 years ago or 2 years ago, were the swings worse back then, better, or much the same?

    At this stage I'm worried that it gets SO uncontrollable that you risk harming yourself during a 'bad phase'.

    You should see about possible medication.
    that's funny because i've been to a couple of shrinks over the years with mixed diagnosises. some thought that i was just fine, was faking it and was having adjustment issues. some of them thought that i legitmately had a mental issue where they wanted to give me meds. however, it was just me talking to them about why i came to them and that's what happened. it left me with more questions then answers. either way, it felt like a waste of time because we never got anywhere. i know i have to see another shrink soon but i'm hesitant though. it's a lot of energy and time consuming plus there's no guarantee that the shrink might actually be able to help. i dunno.

    well, i would say that i think i started experiencing my mood swinging around back in high school. i believe that i was depressed though and that in itself really messed me up. i would say that my my mood swings were worse 5 years ago and past that then but since then in recent years, they remained the same. i actually expect it. like in that same post that you read awhile back where i said i felt good, i think i said that in a couple of days, i'll go back to feeling extremely shitty. it always happens. one day, i'm happy and feeling excited enough to do whatever. the next day, i'll feel upset, thinking about what's wrong with my life. to be honest with you, i don't think that i'm bipolar. depressed, yes but i'm not someone who is bouncing off the walls, hyperactive and etc one minute then crying my eyes out the next like one woman i saw on youtube.

    i'm going to tell them to give me psychiatric evaulation at a mental hospital instead of having to go to a shrink. i'm tired of going to these shrinks and them literally having me sit there, where i'm trying to tell them everything and they go like whatever. one thing that pisses me off is that i have some ocd issues going on. i mentioned it to them and they skip over it as if i didn't say it. the only time i was able to get help for that was at a program where they were experimenting on me for research. it's really disheartening.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    @RJ, the only part of those dreams I'd feel comfortable with interpreting is the one about your mother having heart failure.

    Putting the pieces together, it sounds as if when you came out to your family, your Mama took it the hardest (broken heart, heart failure...get it?)...is that correct?

    None of the other dreams really make any sense to me. (They were pretty wild, weren't they?)

    I agree with ChickenGuy. If those self-destructive thoughts become a pattern, you may have a mood disorder. In most cases, they can correct mood disorders quite easily these days. You might want to look into seeing a doctor. I see no reason why you should have to put up with those horrible thoughts.
    yeah, she did. she wasn't pissed off or whatever at the time when i did but she wasn't too happy about it. eventually things did get heated where we talked about it and she got pissed off with me to the point where she threatened to disown me.

    the crazy thing about it is that i've been dealing with this for years now. it's almost like it's normal and expected. even when i was depressed and going through the ocd thing in high school, i didn't know how to deal with it so i turned to my mother who i was very close to at the time. she told me that nothing was wrong with me, that i needed something to do, that i was going through a phrase or whatever. it was almost like why even bother to say anything about it because nobody's going to help you or give a fuck. my mom's whole attitude towards the thing confirmed that to me.

    then when i go to shrinks and etc, i get told the same thing where the same people around me in my inner circle tell me there's nothing wrong with me or make me feel bad for actually seeking help like my mother. then when the shrinks come at me with the same kind of attitude, it makes me feel like i'm wasting my time because i feel like i'm being put down for saying that i have a problem. like the last shrink i went to made me feel exactly like that. it was like "why are you in my office? you can help yourself by crying into a tissue, getting a manager position at your job or working towards law school. you have no reason to be depressed. you're not crazy. unless you're hearing voices and seeing people that are not there, i can't help you. you have to help yourself."
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  45. #2045
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    ^You may have gone to the wrong kind of professional.

    Your situation seems to reflect a mood disorder, not adjustment trauma, RJ. Mood disorders relate to brain chemistry. Think of it this way: what happens when your car runs too low on oil? It begins to malfunction. If your car runs completely out of oil, it will malfunction and break down completely.

    If you do indeed have bi-polar disorder, you want to look for a psychiatrist, not a psychologist or therapist.
    that's another problem that i had. the last time i was looking for a shrink. i was looking for psychiatrists, i called one up and i got the receptionist who told me what they did. they said that before i could see a psychiatrist, i had to talk to a psychologist first and get diagnosed then they would refer me to go to a psychiatrist.

    on that note, i've had the same issue with the psychiatrists that i've been to too. i remember going back to one in 2008 which my mom's friend put her on to and she pretty much said that there was nothing wrong with me. however, she referred me to some research clinic which would offer me therapy and even meds if i signed to be apart of this research program. what pissed me off about it was how my mom's whole attitude towards it. she was like "i actually took my time out to show you support towards this bullshit so you better take the treatment and shut up about it already" . i was skeptical towards the whole thing because the therapy itself was apart of the experiment. hell, the whole basis to get into the program was you had to have symptoms of a mental problem but it cannot manifest itself fully where you have it or be undiagnosed.

    the other psychiatrist i went to about 2 years later, i told her what was going on and she straight up told me that there was something wrong with me. she didn't say what it was but she let me know that if i chose to not continue to go to her that it could get worse and she wished me luck in sorting it out. *shrugs*

    the whole thing just gives me a headache.

    i'm just going to go to get a psychiatric evaluation but i heard that you have to be going through a psychosis or having a nervous breakdown in order to get checked out.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  46. #2046
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I watched a mechanical bull being ridden by multiple folks -- mostly Women -- but the best ride was by a guy -- anyways i kept encouraging a guy next to me to go out there but he didnt... him and his gorgeous friend needed to ride that mechanical bull to give me the proper mental material.... sigh... that is alllll

    Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.
    ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.


  47. #2047

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Yeah it gets on my nerves too.
    Sarcasm? Most of the 'fan-girls' I see seem to be directed at you.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  48. #2048
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    Some people are beyond help.
    When someone on this board is going through the torment and suffering of a serious mental condition beyond anything either you or I could ever imagine, for you to come along with a glib remark like that is selfish and spiteful beyond belief. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  49. #2049
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    And yet i'm not.
    You may be buying his b,s,, i ain't.
    there are times on here where you push it, get disrespectful, thinking you're being cute and funny when you're not. right now is one of those moments. i don't know if you think that i was supposed to brush that shit off like all the other times i gave your ass a pass. there's times where i see you throwing shots at random posters myself included and am like "damn, this dude is really feeling himself and he thinks because there's some guys all drooling over him that he can get away with that shit".

    you say things on here as well as do things such as trolling other people's threads you think are bullshit with gifs and having the whole fan club shit running up in people's threads for whatever reason. it's okay from time to time but you need to cut that bullshit out. it's not cool, it's not funny and someone is not going to take it as well as some of us other folks have. just had to get this off my chest for a second.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by CupidBoy View Post
    ^ you are a shit stirring drama queen who wants everyone to feel bad for him. It's not our fault we see you clearly. We both used to be supportive but you are eternally a victim.
    the irony of that coming from you. breh, just stop and shut up. wasn't your ass doing the same thing sometime ago? you certainly didn't see me coming around being disrespectful now like how you're doing it taking up for your boy. that's not my style at all, man.

    and shitstirring drama queen when your ass was all running around fighting with enchanted or whatever. acting all innocent now like your words don't apply to you. sit your ass down.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

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