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  1. #501
    Carmine
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I have been known to jaywalk on occasion.

  2. #502
    loki81
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    a couple years ago, I was madly in love with this guy... for various reasons, things didn't really work out but we stayed sociable.

    within the past couple months, he's come down with a disease that seems to have at least left him partially disabled (I don't know the specifics, just what I gather reading his twitter updates from the hospital about needing nurses to bathe him and not being able to get around in his wheelchair)... as much as I feel terribly for the guy and my heart breaks, there's also a small part of me that wonders if I dodged a bullet when our relationship ended before it got more serious.

  3. #503
    JUB Addict maxpowr9's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I almost could not board my flight last nite because I was borderline too sick to travel. Spent much of Saturday puking my brains out due to alcohol and food poisoning. My BF was puking too but he was not as bad as me. Surprisingly, this was actually not a bad vacation although I doubt I will drink again for at least a week.

  4. #504
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Getting too old, or just pushing it too far?

    Lex

  5. #505
    WagWag
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Hey everyone, I'm not sure if this is the place for this post, but I didn't think starting a new thread was necessary.

    I joined JUB two years ago after a particularly difficult break-up. I had stumbled across the forums through some random google search and just latched on to so many of the topics being discussed here, especially in the Coming Out & Relationships area. I read so many interesting posts and wanting to be able to respond and share my experiences, I registered.

    In that time I was able to go to a JUB meet, get to know a handful of users fairly well and even call some of them 'friend'. The interactions within this amazing cacophony of personalities were what I needed to make sense of some of the harder turns of events in my life--whether I was able to work it out by giving my own advice or reading through the experiences of others, or PM'ing someone one-on-one to solve a problem.

    I've reached a point where that need no longer exists for me and I'd like to say a quick and warm goodbye to you all. Like life, this forum is filled with all kinds of bounding point-of-views (some amazing and some I consider to be bullshit) and I've always been impressed at the quality of many of the people on here defending the dignity and lives of people. I've been impressed with the abilities of many of the people on here to be positive, but realistic. I've been impressed with the abilities of many people on here to make others laugh and enjoy life. So with great respect for those people, I say "goodbye". Take care of yourselves gentlemen and ladies!

  6. #506
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    i am so full of shit right now. that's what i get for eating mac and cheese with my lactose intolerant ass.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  7. #507
    tiexgrr
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I had rather loud sex with a ginger this weekend and I still have my soul!

  8. #508
    RazorzEdge88
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by WagWag View Post
    Hey everyone, I'm not sure if this is the place for this post, but I didn't think starting a new thread was necessary.

    I joined JUB two years ago after a particularly difficult break-up. I had stumbled across the forums through some random google search and just latched on to so many of the topics being discussed here, especially in the Coming Out & Relationships area. I read so many interesting posts and wanting to be able to respond and share my experiences, I registered.

    In that time I was able to go to a JUB meet, get to know a handful of users fairly well and even call some of them 'friend'. The interactions within this amazing cacophony of personalities were what I needed to make sense of some of the harder turns of events in my life--whether I was able to work it out by giving my own advice or reading through the experiences of others, or PM'ing someone one-on-one to solve a problem.

    I've reached a point where that need no longer exists for me and I'd like to say a quick and warm goodbye to you all. Like life, this forum is filled with all kinds of bounding point-of-views (some amazing and some I consider to be bullshit) and I've always been impressed at the quality of many of the people on here defending the dignity and lives of people. I've been impressed with the abilities of many of the people on here to be positive, but realistic. I've been impressed with the abilities of many people on here to make others laugh and enjoy life. So with great respect for those people, I say "goodbye". Take care of yourselves gentlemen and ladies!
    Ugh, the good posters continue to fall by the wayside. /selfish

    Well, good luck out there!

  9. #509
    AWP82
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I literally felt suicidal about 3 years ago, after getting rejected by a crush.

    Long story short, it was the "last straw" after a continuous series of extreme dating woes, depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues that I had for about 7 years, since I was 21. Kind of like a second adolescence, filled with 20's angst. It all started with a guy who broke my heart, and went downhill from there. I had one bad dating/social experience after another, which I now realize were all normal rites of passage in hindsight, but somehow seemed unique at the time. I felt like a total loser compared to everyone else around me, who seemed to have it much easier than I did. I tried to seek counsel, but virtually all I found was bad advice and bullshit dogma, which only made it worse.

    Basically, life was unfair, I couldn't cope, and I eventually hit rock bottom. I saw no way out of my troubles, so I contemplated suicide, but thankfully, I was too chicken shit to actually do it. Then, out of nowhere, I started having these weird epiphanies that snapped me out of it and put things into perspective. It's hard to explain, but everything suddenly made sense, and I figured out how to cope with it. All the right stuff just hit me like a ton of bricks at the right time. After 7 long years of pain, I finally wised up, let go of the past, and got over it within a year. Now, I'm OK. My depression and social anxiety are virtually gone, and my self-esteem has improved a lot. It's like waking up from a nightmare. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

    I don't know if anyone here remembers, but I've even posted about some of this on JUB in the past (i.e. crushes, dating woes, etc.), so the angst might have showed a bit in my persona. Although, I'm sure I downplayed a lot of it. Sorry if it rubbed anyone the wrong way, and thanks to anyone who tried to help. I appreciate it.

    On a weird sidenote, the 2 guys I mentioned (the first guy who broke my heart at 21, and the crush who rejected me 3 years ago) were both named Joe. This whole 7-year phase I went through started and ended with 2 Joes. Strange coincidence, huh?

  10. #510
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    last night, i was thinking really deeply about my life.

    you know how some people see themselves being different from the time they were a kid to the time they're an adult.

    well me on the other hand, i feel the same way i felt as a kid and now that i'm an adult. you know, *sigh* this is going to suck for me to say this but i always been someone trying to fit in and being accepted by others. i always wanted to be apart of the crowd and be considered to be a normal person like everyone else, you know, because as a kid, i was different. i don't know what it was. me not being able to talk until i was 5, me not being able to interact or get along with the other kids, me being put in special ed just to learn how to talk or whatever, me not being into guy stuff, acting extremely effeminate, or whatever. i was just thinking about wtf was up with me back then that lead to all that. in the long run, it was basically me fighting. i was always fighting somebody or something. whether it was fighting not to sleep at night, fighting some kids on the block that hated me or something else. i was always fighting. i would just get annoyed and wonder if my life would be much better when i got older because i felt like i didn't belong or like i was an alien. that was one of the reasons why i remained hopeful and decided not to run around doing any criminal activities, get involved with drugs, gangs, the streets, or even try to kill myself. zip past jr high, my teenage years, my early adult years and then now. i still feel the same way where i basically feel like i'm not accepted for who i am as a person and have to constantly fight and explain myself to people who look and treat me as if i'm not a human being. you know, i was getting really angry about it to the point where i just felt like saying fuck it, i should just do whatever since things won't change anyway. you know, it's like if i knew that my life would have came out to be like this, i would have probably just got locked up or tried to kill myself anyway. i hate other people treating me like i don't fucking belong or like i'm a weirdo and don't breathe the same fucking air that they do. like goddamn, do i have to kill somebody just to send a message that i'm the same as everybody else? i don't look disfigured or act crazy or whatever. i'm just like everyone else and i want my cake to eat it too. why the hell are people treating me so fucking different? that's the honest truth since it's supposed to be honesty day.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  11. #511
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Where are you where people treat you so hostilely for being different? Because I don't get that. Some people aren't interested in me because my interests differ from them, but nobody treats me like I'm from space or anything. "Society" isn't one huge homogenous blob. If you're not fitting in where you're at, go a bit further down the block. Maybe you'll fit in with the emo folks or the punks or the jazz crowd. You might just need to look a bit harder to find people to accept you for you, but they ARE out there. If somebody isn't accepting you, stop trying to force them to do so - just stop dealing with them altogether.

    Lex

  12. #512
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by WagWag View Post
    I've reached a point where that need no longer exists for me and I'd like to say a quick and warm goodbye to you all.

    Hello WagWag, I'm sad that I hadn't got the time to know you, your farewell post shows a good, if somewhat wounded, heart, and I would gladly have read more from you.

    Why do you feel the need to stop being here ? You can lurk as you please, just read, or be absent for few weeks/months without saying a definitive goodbye.

    Whatever your choice is, I wish you a very happy and fulfilling life wherever your feet will make you go !
    Magna Veritas


  13. #513
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm very ashamed : I go more frequently to McDo's than to French restaurants here in Paris
    Magna Veritas


  14. #514
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm a music fiend, I love going to concerts, and I've lived in Colorado for roughly thirty years.

    Number of times I've gone to Red Rocks: 2.

    Lex

  15. #515
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    Where are you where people treat you so hostilely for being different? Because I don't get that. Some people aren't interested in me because my interests differ from them, but nobody treats me like I'm from space or anything. "Society" isn't one huge homogenous blob. If you're not fitting in where you're at, go a bit further down the block. Maybe you'll fit in with the emo folks or the punks or the jazz crowd. You might just need to look a bit harder to find people to accept you for you, but they ARE out there. If somebody isn't accepting you, stop trying to force them to do so - just stop dealing with them altogether.

    Lex
    you're right. it's that i hate to be redundant but ever since i decided to you know... dealing with being gay, the whole issue about being accepted by other people has made it's way back again. before i even questioned myself, i was cool with having a small circle of people that i can fall back on because at the time, the person i was was accepted by them. now that i'm looking at a new aspect of myself, it's like that stability that i had in that small group of people is now threatened because i don't know if they'll accept me anymore for being gay. i guess because they feel that i lied to them or that they may be homophobic. i know you've said many times when you come out to someone that if that person really cares for or loves you, they'll reexamine their views towards gay people in accepting you. i'm sort of afraid to find out if they really are the friends that i think they are. i'm already feeling a bit insecure about being accepted by others already. it's that coming out just makes matters a lot worse.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  16. #516
    RazorzEdge88
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    I'm a music fiend, I love going to concerts, and I've lived in Colorado for roughly thirty years.

    Number of times I've gone to Red Rocks: 2.

    Lex
    Are you saying that's too little?

  17. #517
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by oakpope View Post
    I'm very ashamed : I go more frequently to McDo's than to French restaurants here in Paris
    Mon ami, you should feel ashamed. You gave up la belle cuisine for McDonalds? I will fly to Paris so that I can spank you for your sins.

    Escoffier probably rolls over in his grave after hearing your words.

  18. #518
    loki81
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I always say "please" and "thank you" in my daily interactions.

    it's amazing how far simple pleasantries and respect can go towards winning people over.

  19. #519
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Are you saying that's too little?
    In Colorado, even people who don't really go to concerts much tend to go to Red Rocks a couple times a year. From April through October, it's usually where any of the "currently big" artist or perennials are playing. But I've just never been sussed to get up there. I've been there to see a friend's band open for a national act (and I left before that national act took the stage), and once to see a bunch of 80s bands play (and my friend bought my ticket). The thing is - it IS a gorgeous venue, and it is a lot of fun seeing a show there. I just never seem to get up there.

    Lex

  20. #520
    ForeverSingle+Unloveable 72-Jay's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I've lived in Colorado most of my life, and have never been to a concert at Red Rocks
    There was a time because of where I lived, if they set things up just right (and a perfectly clear night) I could see some flashing lights from nighttime concerts...
    (but not like I lived right close to it or anything LOL just a matter of being at the right angle to see it)

  21. #521
    Ruminating
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    When we were in Romania to adopt 2 of our sons, the courts required us to track down any family members of theirs to sign away their rights to the boys before we were allowed to take them to the US. The boys were in very bad condition and needed to get to the US fast. While my partner took care of the boys, I hired private investigators. One of them was this huge Hungarian. I'm 6'3", 180 and he was at least a head taller and double my weight. He was the hairiest person I ever saw and mean looking. Frankly, I was afraid of him. To make things worse, I felt I needed to share with him who we were. I was scared to tell him we were a gay couple in case he had a problem with us. I needed his loyalty. Like any good coward, I wanted the support of others when I told him, so I invited others to be with me. It turns out his little brother was gay and he loved his brother. I began to develop trust in him, even though he still scared me. To make a long story short, I had told him all about the man who had abused the boys. He asked me if I wanted the man to have a taste of his own medicine. It was as if the devil whispered something tempting into my ear and I liked it. Alot. I mean, 2 broken legs would be a small price to pay for abusing children, I rationalized. Fortunately, my husband talked sense into me, after he laughed at me.
    I laughed too, but the thought of revenge was so sweet. If you know anything about Romania, you know it's a dark place where there is precious little justice, especially for the most vulnerable. Had we been in the US, we would have had legal recourse and I wouldn't have felt so helpless. I felt powerless to prevent him from hurting any more children, which I am sure he would have. That is what bullies do. I did have the hairy Hungarian have a talk with the creep to let him know he was being watched.
    I like to think of myself as a gentle man, but the way I enjoyed the thought of revenge still pricks my conscience.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  22. #522
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm disappointed to see that WagWag left before I had the opportunity to say goodbye. I'd only just started interacting with him in recent weeks and was greatly impressed by his character. I must admit I was really looking forward to getting to know him better. Still, I am delighted to hear that he has overcome what ever difficulties he was facing in life and feels content to move on. Good luck with everything, bud.

    Sixthson, the desire for revenge is a perfectly natural psychological mechanism, and is often parochial and heated - but what's important is that you felt conflicted enough to second-guess yourself, and that you ultimately rationalised a more diplomatic solution. Whereas our thoughts can ultimately become our words and actions, as your story depicts, it needn't be invariably so. There is no need to punish yourself harshly for negative thoughts when it is largely how you act upon them that defines who you are. Personally, I'm glad that there are men as gentle and kindhearted as yourself in this world, and even more so that your sons were(are) lucky enough to be brought up having two of them as parents.

    As for a confession, I suppose I do have one that is pertinent to JUB. Sometimes at night when I'm finding it particularly difficult to sleep, I feel a calming warmth and comfort when I imagine a particular member of JUB lying beside me. What's odd is that since knowing him, I've had crushes on other men, I have dated other men, and have even had sex with another man, but find that my mind so often goes back to him when my head hits the pillow at night. I suppose that's not particularly surprising or damaging, but it is a confession nonetheless. You'll have to make do.

  23. #523

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm a part time Buddhist so I'm not sure if I should be asking for salvation here but I have sex with every guy I meet! Ten Hail Mary time I think!

  24. #524
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I have a perfectly unusual love of notebooks.

    I have in my possession a leather-bound Oprah Life-book notebook, and I have a yellow Moleskine pocket notebook that I carry everywhere. Once when I lost my Moleskine, I tried but just couldn't live without it—I quickly had to go out and buy another one. I use Moleskines to write down random thoughts that occur to me throughout the day, and to keep track of all the myriad details that thread through our daily lives.

    Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble. I do read books there, but I also spend time browsing through the notebook section. I find the leather-bound notebooks particularly fascinating. How I wish I could afford to buy a few dozen.

    Asian countries sell a bamboo-paged notebook through B&Noble. The pages look more like parchment than paper, and the pages are bound with a bamboo stick. I want one.

    I love the smell of pencils. Does anybody buy pencils anymore?

  25. #525
    Slut Puddle's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I don't think I post here often enough to have a reputation, but whatever...

    I don't care for dead pet stories. For some reason, they just don't get to me in the way they do others. I've had pets, and of course I was dejected when they died, but I've never been able to revisit that level of dispiritedness as others seem to. The sheer overuse of such stories when the topic of sadness comes up prevents me from ever seeing them as anything but maudlin (I recall a thread on another forum where people decided to start posting sad material, and it was basically just ten pages of stories / videos of how someone's pet died). I don't think it's a case of me being impassive either, since I cry all the time...
    Mechanical Birds

  26. #526
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I used to carry a notebook everywhere. But I cared little what they looked like. Sometimes, I'd have a little spiral notebook with dancing dinosaurs or fighting unicorns on it. As long as I had a place to write things down. I didn't carry pencils, though - only pens. Once I found a pen I loved - Bic black retractables - I started stocking up on them. Usually had two in my pocket at all times.

    I still have standard sized spiral notebooks and retractable pens at home, but my iPhone has replaced the notebook I used to carry. I use the "notes" secrion to write down my ideas, and I have an app for sorting thru my "things to do". Is it the "same"? No. Just different. Less personal but more convenient.

    Lex

  27. #527

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    I used to carry a notebook everywhere. But I cared little what they looked like. Sometimes, I'd have a little spiral notebook with dancing dinosaurs or fighting unicorns on it. As long as I had a place to write things down. I didn't carry pencils, though - only pens. Once I found a pen I loved - Bic black retractables - I started stocking up on them. Usually had two in my pocket at all times.

    I still have standard sized spiral notebooks and retractable pens at home, but my iPhone has replaced the notebook I used to carry. I use the "notes" secrion to write down my ideas, and I have an app for sorting thru my "things to do". Is it the "same"? No. Just different. Less personal but more convenient.

    Lex
    I wouldn't concern yourself with spiral notebooks - take it from me I'M BRITISH!

  28. #528

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    and where on earth is Lexington?

  29. #529
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Britguy View Post
    and where on earth is Lexington?
    The oldest city in America with that name is in Massachusetts, either named for a British peer or the British town of Laxton. It was the site of the first shot of the American Revolutionary War. There's a larger city in Kentucky with the same name. A large avenue in New York City also bears the name, and it's perhaps best known for being the location of Marilyn Monroe's iconic "blowing dress" scene from The Seven Year Itch. In the cartoon Gargoyles, all clan members other than Goliath named themselves after New York landmarks - the youngest member selected Lexington.

    Lex

  30. #530
    RazorzEdge88
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    The oldest city in America with that name is in Massachusetts, either named for a British peer or the British town of Laxton. It was the site of the first shot of the American Revolutionary War. There's a larger city in Kentucky with the same name. A large avenue in New York City also bears the name, and it's perhaps best known for being the location of Marilyn Monroe's iconic "blowing dress" scene from The Seven Year Itch. In the cartoon Gargoyles, all clan members other than Goliath named themselves after New York landmarks - the youngest member selected Lexington.

    Lex
    Interesting. I want to know what time it is. Can you tell me how to make a watch? :P

  31. #531
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Lexington View Post
    I used to carry a notebook everywhere. But I cared little what they looked like. Sometimes, I'd have a little spiral notebook with dancing dinosaurs or fighting unicorns on it. As long as I had a place to write things down. I didn't carry pencils, though - only pens. Once I found a pen I loved - Bic black retractables - I started stocking up on them. Usually had two in my pocket at all times.

    I still have standard sized spiral notebooks and retractable pens at home, but my iPhone has replaced the notebook I used to carry. I use the "notes" secrion to write down my ideas, and I have an app for sorting thru my "things to do". Is it the "same"? No. Just different. Less personal but more convenient.

    Lex
    everybody has an iphone nowadays. i'm telling you, it's a trademark of the new world order. steve jobs was an evil man.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  32. #532
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Interesting. I want to know what time it is. Can you tell me how to make a watch? :P
    If you want. I only answered at length because I was unclear what the real question was, and felt like being thorough.

    everybody has an iphone nowadays. i'm telling you, it's a trademark of the new world order. steve jobs was an evil man.
    It's an iPhone simply because that's the one I chose. I wouldn't have minded any of the other smartphones. Most of my friends have Androids and Blackberrys, actually.

    Lex

  33. #533
    loki81
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I'm sitting in my home office playing video games while a plumber does work in my kitchen/basement.

    he popped his head in and asked me if I was working from home... feeling guilty about spending all day playing games, I said that I was :/

  34. #534
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    I'm sitting in my home office playing video games while a plumber does work in my kitchen/basement.

    he popped his head in and asked me if I was working from home... feeling guilty about spending all day playing games, I said that I was :/
    don't feel guilty. there's NOTHING wrong playing video games. fuck it, i was playing the dreamcast-sonic adventure and soul calibur earlier. i need to get back into gaming.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  35. #535
    loki81
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    don't feel guilty. there's NOTHING wrong playing video games. fuck it, i was playing the dreamcast-sonic adventure and soul calibur earlier. i need to get back into gaming.
    I just feel like an ass playing video games while they're toiling away in my basement... not that I could do anything to help, and if they weren't here I'd probably be doing productive stuff like cleaning and cooking and laundry.

  36. #536
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    I just feel like an ass playing video games while they're toiling away in my basement... not that I could do anything to help, and if they weren't here I'd probably be doing productive stuff like cleaning and cooking and laundry.
    after you clean, cook and do laundry, what will you do afterwards? that just doesn't make you look any worse or better playing video games before or after you do housework or whatever. it's not like you're never going to get around to it. as long as you're having a good time, you don't need to feel guilty.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  37. #537
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    it's been almost a year since i smoked marijuana. i most definitely am not going to smoke weed anymore since i can't handle it but let me say this though, i think weed should be legalized. it is a thinking drug. if you are a person that enjoys thinking about life, the ills of the world, science, history, and etc, you need to smoke some weed one time in your life.

    i will never forget when i was smoking in my friend's backyard behind his garage. we were getting weeded out and the effects of the weed hit me. i just remember being back there huffing and puffing all that weed into my lungs and my body and mind just going into another world. i felt warm, my hands went numb and i just lost my sense of reality. i went into another world. you know how people say that they die and go to heaven or hell or the after life, that's what i experienced. i was present in my physical form but my mind was in another place. i had to constantly tell myself if the people that i had talked to and interacted with really existed and if certain events really happened. it was crazy to say the least. it was similar to me feeling completely out of wack when i was at my job where i felt like i loss sense of reality that i wrote sometime back.

    then here's where it gets good. i started to think deeply about the ways of the world. then a serious thought hit me. i suddenly asked myself did people seriously kill and hate other people for being a different skin color than them? it really hit me like i was dumbfounded. it actually sickened me like wow, "you mean to tell me that back in the 1920s, 30s, before and after those times that people were being lynched and killed and etc for having black skin by people with white skin tone." i was like, wtf is the difference between blacks and whites. i started to ask the same question about if women were really being discriminated against for being women. did gay people really get discriminated against for being gay? were people really mistreating and hating people because of small characteristics that were different than theirs even though they were pretty no different than them and basically, the same human beings that they were. i was just horrified that there were people that thought like that and continue to simply because they have nothing better to do with their time. this was all when i was high out of my mind. then i started to look at america and realized that this country really is a horrible place to live in. why is this type of thinking normalized? then i thought about how people would get defensive about people challenging their way of thinking such as being racist or self segregating and etc and how they would be willing to kill me to prove how right they're are and how wrong i am or people like me was.

    but being weeded out just makes you realize how horrible the world is. we are basically living a lie when people say that they're happy with the way things are when there's a lot of things that need to be done to make the world a better place. reality truly does suck. i think that marijuana would actually make people explore the parts of their minds that they don't want to acknowledge and see themselves and the world in a light that they may know of already but may not truly understand.

    also when i was weeded out, the truth about me being gay came out. i basically came out to myself even though i was still in the closet. the guy who i had a crush on, i was hallucinating about him and basically making out with the air and acting out sexual positions while thinking of him drilling me. i remember being on my bed lying face down grabbing my ass saying "have your way with me please?" i was questioning if i accidently emailed him or someone else saying the feelings that i was hiding at the time or if i really said that i was gay and really was acting out when i remembered everything clear as day. i felt guilty for days and weeks trying to forget everything that happened basically being in denial and that's part of the reason why i decided to finally question my sexuality.

    marijuana is a powerful drug. try it.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  38. #538
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    everybody has an iphone nowadays. i'm telling you, it's a trademark of the new world order. steve jobs was an evil man.
    I bought a smart-phone (not an iPhone) some time back and I hated it—and I mean, really hated it! It powered down for no apparent reason when I tried to dial. I thought I'd gotten a defective phone, so I'd already exchanged it for a newer one, but the new one did it, too.

    Besides, I saw the smart-phone as bloatware (full of features I'll never use) and too fragile. I hated the touchscreen, which I found hard to use due to my finger width. Even worse, you have to go through more than one step just to answer the phone; with my old one, all I have to do is slide the phone quickly upward—it takes a split second.

    I put that smart phone in the closet and got out my old Samsung Propel, which I infinitely prefer. Old, but reliable.

    Anybody else here hate smart phones?

  39. #539
    Look, listen and rejoice oakpope's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by loki81 View Post
    while a plumber does work in my kitchen/basement.
    When I was at University in Strasbourg and my student's flat was being installed a phone line, the technician was beautiful. And I was in my pajamas the whole time it took him to install the line. He would populate my dreams for a long time. All I dared to do was offering him a drink (it was hot in the flat). So what is shameful, Loki, is that you didn't take pictures of your plumber while he worked your basement
    Magna Veritas


  40. #540

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^ Did your pyjamas have a draw-string and fly?

  41. #541
    WTF????? refujiunderground's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    I bought a smart-phone (not an iPhone) some time back and I hated it—and I mean, really hated it! It powered down for no apparent reason when I tried to dial. I thought I'd gotten a defective phone, so I'd already exchanged it for a newer one, but the new one did it, too.

    Besides, I saw the smart-phone as bloatware (full of features I'll never use) and too fragile. I hated the touchscreen, which I found hard to use due to my finger width. Even worse, you have to go through more than one step just to answer the phone; with my old one, all I have to do is slide the phone quickly upward—it takes a split second.

    I put that smart phone in the closet and got out my old Samsung Propel, which I infinitely prefer. Old, but reliable.

    Anybody else here hate smart phones?
    well, you know what they say, they built smart phones for dumbasses. with that said, i need a smart phone. my phone is about 3 years old and is in dire need of an upgrade.
    one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

  42. #542
    holeconfusion
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by refujiunderground View Post
    it's been almost a year since i smoked marijuana. i most definitely am not going to smoke weed anymore since i can't handle it but let me say this though, i think weed should be legalized. it is a thinking drug. if you are a person that enjoys thinking about life, the ills of the world, science, history, and etc, you need to smoke some weed one time in your life.

    i will never forget when i was smoking in my friend's backyard behind his garage. we were getting weeded out and the effects of the weed hit me. i just remember being back there huffing and puffing all that weed into my lungs and my body and mind just going into another world. i felt warm, my hands went numb and i just lost my sense of reality. i went into another world. you know how people say that they die and go to heaven or hell or the after life, that's what i experienced. i was present in my physical form but my mind was in another place. i had to constantly tell myself if the people that i had talked to and interacted with really existed and if certain events really happened. it was crazy to say the least. it was similar to me feeling completely out of wack when i was at my job where i felt like i loss sense of reality that i wrote sometime back.

    then here's where it gets good. i started to think deeply about the ways of the world. then a serious thought hit me. i suddenly asked myself did people seriously kill and hate other people for being a different skin color than them? it really hit me like i was dumbfounded. it actually sickened me like wow, "you mean to tell me that back in the 1920s, 30s, before and after those times that people were being lynched and killed and etc for having black skin by people with white skin tone." i was like, wtf is the difference between blacks and whites. i started to ask the same question about if women were really being discriminated against for being women. did gay people really get discriminated against for being gay? were people really mistreating and hating people because of small characteristics that were different than theirs even though they were pretty no different than them and basically, the same human beings that they were. i was just horrified that there were people that thought like that and continue to simply because they have nothing better to do with their time. this was all when i was high out of my mind. then i started to look at america and realized that this country really is a horrible place to live in. why is this type of thinking normalized? then i thought about how people would get defensive about people challenging their way of thinking such as being racist or self segregating and etc and how they would be willing to kill me to prove how right they're are and how wrong i am or people like me was.

    but being weeded out just makes you realize how horrible the world is. we are basically living a lie when people say that they're happy with the way things are when there's a lot of things that need to be done to make the world a better place. reality truly does suck. i think that marijuana would actually make people explore the parts of their minds that they don't want to acknowledge and see themselves and the world in a light that they may know of already but may not truly understand.

    also when i was weeded out, the truth about me being gay came out. i basically came out to myself even though i was still in the closet. the guy who i had a crush on, i was hallucinating about him and basically making out with the air and acting out sexual positions while thinking of him drilling me. i remember being on my bed lying face down grabbing my ass saying "have your way with me please?" i was questioning if i accidently emailed him or someone else saying the feelings that i was hiding at the time or if i really said that i was gay and really was acting out when i remembered everything clear as day. i felt guilty for days and weeks trying to forget everything that happened basically being in denial and that's part of the reason why i decided to finally question my sexuality.

    marijuana is a powerful drug. try it.
    I figured this stuff out without being high but I'll have to try some weed and see what happens.

  43. #543
    holeconfusion
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Quote Originally Posted by Puddle View Post
    I don't think I post here often enough to have a reputation, but whatever...

    I don't care for dead pet stories. For some reason, they just don't get to me in the way they do others. I've had pets, and of course I was dejected when they died, but I've never been able to revisit that level of dispiritedness as others seem to. The sheer overuse of such stories when the topic of sadness comes up prevents me from ever seeing them as anything but maudlin (I recall a thread on another forum where people decided to start posting sad material, and it was basically just ten pages of stories / videos of how someone's pet died). I don't think it's a case of me being impassive either, since I cry all the time...
    Confession: your use of vocabulary gives me a hard on

  44. #544
    Slut Puddle's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    Well, that's probably the first time I've elicited such a response from someone.
    Mechanical Birds

  45. #545
    JohannBessler
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^I'd classify you as "desensitized" to dead pet stories, for whatever reason. Maybe you read too many of them?

  46. #546
    Slut Puddle's Avatar
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    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I don't know... I don't think I've ever come across one that brought me to tears, and I certainly don't seek them out. If anything, I've probably read less than most people. Maybe I just don't like animals as much as others...
    Mechanical Birds

  47. #547
    JohannBessler
    Guest

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    ^I've met more than one person in my life who just didn't like animals, so I think I could agree with you. ^

    I wish I had the same "problem", but in fact I have a perfectly unnatural sensitivity towards animals. Once, when I had to kill lobsters in order to make Lobster Thermidor, I felt a need to face them away from each other so they wouldn't have to watch each other get slaughtered.

    Having a keen sensitivity towards animals can feel like a curse.

  48. #548
    loki81
    Guest

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I lied to a friend about a concert tonight.

    he was supposed to come with me, but had to cancel at the last minute... I told him I had a backup plan because I didn't want him to feel bad, but I'm going by myself and eating the cost of the extra ticket.

  49. #549
    RazorzEdge88
    Guest

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I drank a cosmo the other night.

    The flavour they were offering at the bar intrigued me, but then it just ended up tasting too sweet - like Jello or something - and I didn't care for it.

    Back to beer.

  50. #550

    Re: Confess something that might surprise others or damage your reputation on JUB - 2012

    I was feeling woozy from a medical procedure during the day yesterday.

    I got up in the middle of the night to exercise my bladder. It's cold here, My tracky-dacks fell to my ankles, I tried to hobble but fell full-length slamming my considerable body down to the ground. Ouch!

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