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  1. #1
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Men concealing their age

    I find it really weird for men not to tell their age. Not accusing women to be not confident about aging, but it's just that women usually conceal their age, not men.

    But two weeks ago, when I was interviewing a man whose mother was a patient, it became a strange experience.

    Me: "Your age, Sir?"
    Him: "I'm old."
    Me: "How old?"
    Him: *chuckles* "You need not know."
    Me: "I have to. I need to make a pedigree."
    Him: *chuckles again* "All you need to know is I'm definitely older than you."
    Me: *frowns*

    For me it's weird. A man, afraid to let people know him age? Puzzling

    How about you? Do you know any man or guy who refuses to disclose their actual age?
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  2. #2
    JP.
    Guest

    Re: Men concealing their age

    Ask Birdie Dog, he's shameless to concealing his age

    Man, I wish that insecure guy could have bigger set of balls like him

  3. #3
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Does a number on a birth certificate evidence the medical condition, or biological age of a human person?

    I know men in their twenties who as a result of their smoking, drinking, eating habits and lack of physical exercise are already demonstrating illnesses associated with people who have passed the half century.

    When I have been asked by a potential sexual partner for my age, I reply that my age does not determine my aptitude for a healthy sexual encounter.

  4. #4
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    i think honesty is more attractive. don't conceal what you think should be hidden, it just makes you look insecure.


  5. #5
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I think I'm embarrassed for the man who is insecure to the degree he is trying to run with the young bucks as one of them. If he can find peerage among the young, fine, but it shouldn't require deception or passing for young.

    It is no different from the use of ephemeral slang to appear to be younger than one is. That is not to say one cannot be current, but to effect the image of the very young without being so is a denial of who one truly is.

    Of course we can age without becoming hidebound, encrusted, or irrelevant, but we are, in fact, products of our times, and in some ways, should be honest about that.

    Men who look younger than they are, or act it, can be a joy to be around, or they can just be creepy and pathetic. It's a matter of integrity, not deception.

    And, it's not really a matter of privacy. One's age is no secret to one's friends and family. That said, it is not always appropriate in some settings to bring age in as a topic, and can even be discriminatory when in some legal or business interactions.

  6. #6
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    ^Yeah, revealing age can be quite bad in business world, where age can be a strong determinant of your employment. Still, age concealing in casual situations is uncommon for men---to me, they're just mere numbers. Perhaps it's just me
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  7. #7
    Vannie
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Men should be proud of their age without any reservations.Celebrate the maturity and wisdom that only years of experience can provide.Don't be afraid!Time just makes you better and better!I'm 27 years old,and proud of every single year!

  8. #8
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    You know, I used to think you were beyond 50
    *squeals in maturity*
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  9. #9
    Vannie
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    You know, I used to think you were beyond 50
    *squeals in maturity*
    I would be in Shady Pines! LOL

  10. #10
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    We would be deceiving ourselves were we to ignore the reality that the so called gay scene is youth orientated, leading me to believe that appearance is all important.

    A quick glance at the numbers viewing the porn galleries, or the celebrity forum indicates that intelligent discussion is not the primary reason for the existence of this site.

  11. #11
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Well, there is the rot, buying into the scene.

    There are doubtless more gays not into the scene than into it. If one's world is going to be defined by the young, one is left to barter in their currency, which is youth.

    Those of us not young, have our own assets, and they are not limited to youthful beauty, virility, or techno-currency.

    JUB is notoriously twink-oriented in its marketing. If you need a porn forum's buffet to validate your appeal, then visit sites that feature mature men, and I don't mean J a k e Cruise either.

    There is also the hypersexualization of life as an issue. Sex can be a lifelong pleasure, but if we are caught on a treadmill of having to be constantly market-ready, what of the rest of fulfillment in life? I find that is one of the pitfall's of hypersexuality in modern culture -- many are never able to move past the demands of being always up for sale, rather than pairing and moving on to make other things more important in life.

    Of course, I don't know you from Adam, and you are certainly entitled to pursue whatever you choose in life, but I choose not to value sex and youthfulness to the detriment of my true worth.

  12. #12
    JUB 10k Club
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    We would be deceiving ourselves were we to ignore the reality that the so called gay scene is youth orientated, leading me to believe that appearance is all important.

    A quick glance at the numbers viewing the porn galleries, or the celebrity forum indicates that intelligent discussion is not the primary reason for the existence of this site.
    Really?





    I have to agree with some of my fellow members here about age as a number.

    I was told by this "kid" 19/20 the other day that the shirt that I was wearing wasn't appropriate for my age.

    I was wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt that was given to me as a gift by a guy friend who's 26.

    I'm not completely an Abercrombie & Fitch model, and the shirt fits me really well, and friends of mine tell me that I look great in it.

    Now if I had a complete head of grey hair, and looked like a 10lb bag of potatoes stuffed into a 5lb bag he might have had a point.

    When asked my age my first response is typically, "old enough to know better, but still young enough not to care."

    Most "men" in the 20's are proud to be in their 20's so that don't mind telling anyone.

    After 30?

    Well even some of those hot guys that I know in their 20's think that they're 30th birthday is "over the hill."

    When I tell those "kids" again 19/20 that I'm old enough to be their father, well unless their into "Daddy Figures" that's when the conversation, discussion, and in some cases any interest on their part ends.

    Which is sad because I'm not some "dirty old perve" interested in having sex with every 20 something that I meet.

    It just seems like if you're not 30 or younger, some of us don't even get the time of day anymore.

    So for me age is just a number, and so long as you continue to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually I'm sure that there's something that I can find attractive about you.

    But to tell you my real age?

    Really how attractive is it to hear, "You look really good for your age," with that being the caveat expression as they walk away?

    IOW I am attractive enough for you to come up and talk to me, so why are you walking away now that you know my birth age?

    So it may not be so much an attempt to "conceal" but rather a defense mechanism.
    Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

  13. #13
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by centexfarmer View Post
    So for me age is just a number, and so long as you continue to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually I'm sure that there's something that I can find attractive about you.

    IOW I am attractive enough for you to come up and talk to me, so why are you walking away now that you know my birth age?

    Respectfully, this seems inconsistent. Now, why is it you want to be appealing to a young person who is automatically dismissive of someone over 30? Over 40?

    What happened to keeping fit spiritually and mentally? Is disregard for mature people fit?



    For me, I am attracted to people for many things, and I don't have the prerequisites of being healthy physically, spiritually, and mentally. Health is a luxury, not a requirement. Age will teach all of us that over time, else our partners will jettison us when we grow ill in any of those dimensions, no?

  14. #14
    JUB 10k Club
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    Respectfully, this seems inconsistent. Now, why is it you want to be appealing to a young person who is automatically dismissive of someone over 30? Over 40?
    That's a damned good question.

    I guess in reality I don't.

    When I look in the mirror I see a much more attractive "physical" person than I saw when I was in my 20's.

    Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself, who's that old guy?

    For a guy "my age" I'm still considered attractive by a lot of guys; both younger, my age, and older.

    So it's not that I want to be appealing to shallow individuals; younger or of any age for that matter.

    Those aren't the types of people that I would even want as friends to be honest.

    What happened to keeping fit spiritually and mentally? Is disregard for mature people fit?
    I wouldn't think so.

    For me, I am attracted to people for many things, and I don't have the prerequisites of being healthy physically, spiritually, and mentally. Health is a luxury, not a requirement. Age will teach all of us that over time, else our partners will jettison us when we grow ill in any of those dimensions, no?
    Which despite how hard we or they might try, age isn't something that we can hide indefinitely.

    For example, there's a difference between someone suspecting that you're Gay and their knowing that you're gay.

    Just like there's a difference in someone thinking that you're in your 40's, and knowing just how close you are to 50, or 60, or 70, or whatever.

    I have a female bestfriend who I've known for more than 20 years now. To this day I honestly don't know how old she is in birth years.

    I've got an idea, but I could still be off by as many as 20 years.

    Seriously!

    Do I find her any less attractive because of that?

    Is she any less of a friend to me?

    The answer is no on all accounts.

    Youth is fleeting, and always will be.

    I don't tell people my age for the same reason why I'm selective about who truly knows that I'm Gay.

    Both have been used as reasons to discriminate against me, and unless they have any true or honest reason to know, it's none of their business.
    Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

  15. #15
    Canuck rhymes with f*ck
    gsdx's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Admitting your real age to someone else is an admission of your real age to yourself, and a lot of people don't like to do that.

  16. #16
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I use botox to conceal my age. I like the statue-esque frozen in time look

  17. #17
    Once Again Given Flesh. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I'm 27. Couldn't be arsed to care enough about peoples' thoughts on that.

    If you care that much, it's time for a change in how you handle yourself.
    "As anarchism rears its face,

    They are answered by an iron fist..."

  18. #18
    armastus4all
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    i am 33 ....refuse to lie or hide my age.sad that some people feel they have to hide or lie.it can be difficult with the way youth is so embraced...

  19. #19
    THE FLIRT JUB Moderator ronboy's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Fuck them all, if they can't take the truth.....

    Age is just a number.....

    I am 48, and I earned every one of those years!

    I probably just alienated half-the JUB populace, who don't speak to any gay man over age 30.

    Their loss.....

    I am what I am, and I refuse to sugarcoat it!


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

  20. #20
    JUB Addicts Orlandude's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    A lot of men in the gay world conceal their age because age bias is so rampant in the gay world...like it's some badge of honor to be under 30 and a badge of disdain to be over 30. Nowhere, except in the gay world, is the first thing said after "Hello" is "how old are you?". No group of people are as hung up about age as gays and that's a sad testimony to a group that cries for tolerance and equality.

  21. #21

    Re: Men concealing their age

    Well I'm 70 and have no problem revealing my age!

  22. #22

    Re: Men concealing their age

    This reminds me, I've got to get another box of Just For Men.

  23. #23
    WagWag
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    It sounds to me like revealing your age is the way to go. For those of you who have said, "but when I do, men walk away" I have a question for you. Isn't that good? Doesn't that act as the filter for which you can find someone who's worth your time? Revealing your age reveals more about the potential sex partners/boyfriends/husbands than about you, don't you think? I'd happily tell someone my true age and have them walk away than spend a minute pursuing some vapid, youth-chasing moron.

  24. #24
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I think it's understandable that some guys do it, but it's unfortunate that they feel they have to.

    Excellent point, Naughty Arousal!

  25. #25
    JUB Addict
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by Orlandude View Post
    A lot of men in the gay world conceal their age because age bias is so rampant in the gay world...like it's some badge of honor to be under 30 and a badge of disdain to be over 30. Nowhere, except in the gay world, is the first thing said after "Hello" is "how old are you?". No group of people are as hung up about age as gays and that's a sad testimony to a group that cries for tolerance and equality.
    dear Orlandude,

    I am 55 and I am living in The Netherlands. I don't hide my age and I also don't hide that I am gay. I feel very sorry that you have suffered so much problems with age, whilst making contacts with other gays. I don't have this problems, and I am somehow sceptic if your views (as expressed above) are real and valid for all gays.

    I have no idea about your age (no need to tell us if you don't like), and I also have no idea how and where you meet other gays (your profile indicates that you are "Out at home, in the closet at work.")?

    Any idea if there are other gays at your work, and any idea how these guys will treat you (when they will find out that you are gay as well)?

    I tend to think that you are somehow struggeling with this 'problem'. Any plans to be out at work? Any idea of one of your straight work-mates might have a gay brother?

    Are you sure this 'age-problem' is as well the case in any 'gay-group' (can be anything, from a hiking group, a local queer group, etc) in and around Orlando?

    Best wishes, and feel free to react.
    I am Dutch, so please excuse me for my low level of English.

  26. #26
    Ruminating
    sixthson's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by altlover85 View Post
    I think it's understandable that some guys do it, but it's unfortunate that they feel they have to.

    Excellent point, Naughty Arousal!
    I don't think anyone by that name has posted in this thread.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  27. #27
    Pianist
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I turned 56 last month. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?

    Nothing? Yeah, figgered.

    *pours out*

  28. #28
    Hard-up1
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by sixthson View Post
    I don't think anyone by that name has posted in this thread.
    One suspects WagWag's avatar was mistaken for Naughty's -- baseball, you know.

  29. #29
    Sex God MawellEvans's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    i suck at guessing someones age by appearance. so i take what i am told. lie to me about your age. i don't care. as long as its not illegal and will get me put in jail. i am 32 by the way.
    "If you can't do something smart,do something right."-Jayne Cobb

  30. #30
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by freefall View Post
    How about you? Do you know any man or guy who refuses to disclose their actual age?
    I must confess that I have been concealing my age. I am not 24 like my profile indicates, but just turned 21. I was born in 1990.

  31. #31
    nf fbt funw glbhuof gmhp SLOPPYSECONDS's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    con < plus a man plus a wipe asshole ans discova OY parkin meter DUDE!!
    ' ooh how go forgat '

    since only teaspoons a cum float on forums
    MAN no concea NOTHIN ---- but no say nothin cause

    haaaaaaa

    thankyou

    back ta da funny pages

  32. #32
    Are u haleloo ya ? Telstra's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Maybe he is attracted to you and want to be your boyfriend, yes ?


    NEVER LISTEN TO A ONE SIDED STORY AND JUDGE.

  33. #33
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Anybody can see that I'm old, and worn out. No use in me hiding, or lying about my age...

  34. #34
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    It's good to see a thread like this on JUB, because it really gives some perspective on why some guys have issues with revealing their age.

    I see a lot of "older" members on this site who appear to have deep issues about aging, being "older", and assuming that it somehow instantly makes them less appealing in the 'gay world'. Yes, many gay men can be superficial and shallow as hell (and that's an understatement), but just as many of us don't discriminate or look down on anyone based on their age.

    I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about. Keep an eye out, and you'll notice men in their 60s, 50s, 40s, and even their 30s here making apologies and trying to 'lessen the blow' once they reveal how 'old' they are. It screams of insecurity, and that's the only turn off for me. Age is irrelevant. A man who can reveal his age and have confidence in who he is as a person is sexy--*see Iowaguy's post.


    Quote Originally Posted by kallipolis View Post
    Does a number on a birth certificate evidence the medical condition, or biological age of a human person?

    I know men in their twenties who as a result of their smoking, drinking, eating habits and lack of physical exercise are already demonstrating illnesses associated with people who have passed the half century.

    When I have been asked by a potential sexual partner for my age, I reply that my age does not determine my aptitude for a healthy sexual encounter.
    Okay...so basically you have reservations about telling someone your age. It took you all of that ^ to say what can be said in one sentence. Thank you.


    Quote Originally Posted by IowaGuy View Post
    Well I'm 70 and have no problem revealing my age!
    I like you!

    Aging is nothing to be shamed of, and I wish people would start grasping that fact (in the gay community and beyond). It beats the fucking alternative.

    I'm 26 now, and I can only hope to see age 70.

  35. #35
    johaninsc
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by Dduder View Post
    I must confess that I have been concealing my age. I am not 24 like my profile indicates, but just turned 21. I was born in 1990.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dduder View Post
    No one wants to have sex with me. Since I'm not ugly, it must be that hygiene thing. We straight boys sometimes neglect basic cleanliness. I sometimes get home after after rugby practice - I play rugby in college -, and I will sleep all sweaty and stinky because I'm too tired to do that. I will just crash in bed.
    ^this post of yours was from April 22nd, 2008..If your birthday is October 3rd, that means that you were in college 5 months+ before your 18th birthday

    and that you were still 17, a minor,...when you joined JuB in February of 2008

    or is this a lie too

  36. #36
    On the Prowl breakfast4sex's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    im 21 and some people tell me that i look older. ever since i was 19 people have been ell me that i look older. kinda bothers me. but im 21 and working out. so i'll look my age. ^_^

  37. #37
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    One suspects WagWag's avatar was mistaken for Naughty's -- baseball, you know.
    Haha! Yup!

    I'm sorry for the confusion.

    Excellent post WagWag!

  38. #38
    Slut phil69's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Well, I am 42.. I think when I was younger I always worried about getting older... But so far all that worry has been for nothing. I am better off now, than I ever was and I hope that trend continues for many many years to come.

  39. #39
    JUB Addict Anders123's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Ageism is not exclusively inimical to the older male. How often is it assumed that the young are lazy and incompetent? How often is it assumed that the young value excessive inebriation and nights out hooking up over sustaining their responsibilities and forming legitimate relationships? How often is it assumed that the young are narcissistic, immature, and incapable of showing respect?

    Yes, there are the young who carelessly dismiss the aged, but there are also the aged who thoughtlessly dismiss the young. Ageism is indeed parochial, but many people seem to forget that it goes both ways; I know this from experience, but I will never hide (nor apologise for) my age. Nobody should.

  40. #40
    reone
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Hmm, I can't think of any instances where a man seemed insecure about revealing his age to me. The women in my family joke about it all of the time so I can understand the association you have made between that and females, though.

    I don't have any issues with my age but it does seem like I'm always around people that are older than me. Age doesn't come up all that often at school but it's pretty funny when it does and I realize that I'm usually the younger one in the crowd.

    I was joking with my professor last week about getting drunk in the streets in January when I turn 21 and for a second he gave me the strangest look . I'm not sure if he was surprised or shocked or what, but I made sure that I told him I was kidding.

  41. #41
    O is for O-Some TheOscar's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    A lot of people even on here hide their age. At least they don't mention it in their profiles. And they should! I also don't like it when people hide or lie about their age. I don't care if you are older, just tell me if I ask! XD
    Are the eyes truly the windows to the soul?

  42. #42
    BENDERBOY
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by TheOscar View Post
    A lot of people even on here hide their age. At least they don't mention it in their profiles. And they should! I also don't like it when people hide or lie about their age. I don't care if you are older, just tell me if I ask! XD
    I really don't see why people should mention there age if they don't want to,

  43. #43
    Sex God papipaco's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I just don't feel like age should be an issue. I've always been the youngest in my group of friends (having graduated high school at 16 and college at 19). When an older guy tells me his age it isn't an automatic turn off. . .just don't be creepy about it. Age is just a number in my mind.

  44. #44
    Dimples glasvegas's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Well, I guess the fact that I am getting older creeps me out. Hence, I don't like to review my age. I am 20 by the way.

  45. #45
    JUB Addict Audio Tech's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Well, I used to worry about my age. But then I realized that I am in fact aging better than a LOT of my younger friends (who are married, btw) and am generally in great shape. So I wear my years with pride, as I wear them WELL. 47 now, and damn proud of it!

  46. #46
    Count Hedgecula freefall's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by ronboy View Post
    I probably just alienated half-the JUB populace, who don't speak to any gay man over age 30.
    You remind me of a friend of mine. She has this weird thing that men look best before the age 25. Once they pass 25, not matter how handsome or attractive they are, they go dim before her eyes. Dreadfulness...

    Quote Originally Posted by Telstra View Post
    Maybe he is attracted to you and want to be your boyfriend, yes ?
    He looked around 35 and was apparently still single with no indication of having a relationship with a girl (I know it from the way he told his routine ). And he only wanted to speak with me (the other guys and girls tried to talk with him but he always returned to me). To be honest, I think he is gay and you may have a point

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    I really don't see why people should mention there age if they don't want to,
    Not that it's not allowed; it's just weird coming from a man.
    come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
    we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

  47. #47
    Lascivious Lush altlover85's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by glasvegas View Post
    Well, I guess the fact that I am getting older creeps me out. Hence, I don't like to review my age. I am 20 by the way.
    You're still young at 20.

  48. #48
    Curiouser and Curiouser evilest's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.
    Bend me, break me, anyway you need me
    as long as I want you baby, it's alright.


  49. #49
    JUB Addict Audio Tech's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by evilest View Post
    I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.
    I used to pass for 18 at 27..... I matured very slowly and hated it.

    But I love it NOW!!

    Enjoy it, you'll age well.

  50. #50
    O is for O-Some TheOscar's Avatar
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    Re: Men concealing their age

    Quote Originally Posted by BENDERBOY View Post
    I really don't see why people should mention there age if they don't want to,
    In real life? I mean, it can depend on the context, but if someone is genuinely asking in a normal way then I see no reason why not to say it.
    Are the eyes truly the windows to the soul?

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