My man takes care of such minutiae.
My man takes care of such minutiae.
Who is that?
That explains your habit of walking into walls.
My Dear Mr. Belamo,
You will not be a little gratified, I am sure, when apprised of the intelligence that I have decided this day, the 5th Inst., to permit the late, but, I am universally assured, talented nevertheless, authoress Miss Jane Austen, another opportunity to entertain, if not enthrall (though I am determined to be optimistic) yours truly through her literary effort Pride and Prejudice, it being many years, nay decades, since I last attempted the feat.
Toward that end I have acquired her novel, complete with illustrations from an 1865 publication of the same, through the intertube to my iPad. It may startle you further to learn that I am half-way through the third chapter, though I must admit none of it has been promising. So far, the characters would be better off in a Monty Python upper-class-twit sketch, perhaps pondering the delights of words that are woody.
Be that as it may, I shall soldier on. The Empire wasn't built in a day, eh wot?
Yrs, as always,
^ You said a very interesting thing last week but unfortunately I can't retrieve it in the JUB Search engine.
Do you know that 'seminal', sexy, gayish film called Women In Love? There's a scene where the poor, Marxist school teacher is out in the fields and starts dancing some orgasmic Dalcroze Eurythmy.
She works herself up into a frenzy but is confronted by a herd of bulls. She taunts then with her dancing—
—until the rich land-owner catches her.
She collapses and he scolds her for disturbing his bulls. Exhausted, she demands to know How can they be YOUR bulls? Did you EAT them?
There was a similar situation here in JUB where someone was boasting that they had DONE Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or someone equally formidable and you replied with your usual beguiling, insouciant sang-froid something along the lines of 'Did you eat them?'.
The implication was that the author's words had travelled from the JUBbers mouth to their anus without receiving any of their author's insight. The words went in one ear and out the other.
I've decided to go back in time and prevent Jane Austen's parents from meeting.
I refuse to soldier on. I blindfolded my iPad, tied it to a post and asked a passing American to shoot it.
Fuck Jane Austen and the carriage she rode in in.
Anyone comfortable with Austen's characters or who can't get enough of them, especially anyone who repeatedly reads that dreck has a pomposity problem. Not me.
- - - Updated - - -
Speelburg says Expectations is the best Dickens for a good story arc but is still five times too long!
^ look at that simpering buck-toothed moll pouting away and showing off her paltry bosom and her just-raped hair-do and pretending to be a Jane Austen character.
Anyway, I won't be bothering with any more picaresque, peripatetic Dickens in my natural lifetime. He devotes 720!!! pages to this story about an idiot.
An insurance company's current account, for instance, comes with 40 pages of Terms and Conditions to the length of 34,162 words.
That is almost twice the length of Macbeth (19,000 words), or around half the length of the average Agatha Christie (between 60,000 and 100,000 words).
It’s a quarter of the length of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (122,000 words) or, at the other end of the scale, around one seventeenth of the best-loved of the seriously long books, Tolstoy’s War and Peace (600,000 words).
Muriel Spark's last ones were about 20,000.
Tibullus The third book is spurious... and only the first one is REAL good
I only have Schoolboy Latin. The unknown source on Wiki says the third book is jejune
Anthony Powell says Dickens is effete and too staid. Balzac has more real characters: Vautrin is homosexual.
I wonder if this hunk is a Dickensite, an Austenite or just a pretender.
"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "
--Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000
*the number is now forty
I bought an antique copy of "Bleak House" for 10cents from a table of public library discards at Neisner's when I was in the 4th grade. Never finished reading it, but I did hand in a book report on it. Also read an anotated copy of "Oliver Twist" my mother won in second grade, but only got as far as where they noted the joke of naming a pubescent male character Master Bates.
I finally voted Austen because -
Ralph Fiennes has just made a movie about Dickens' mistress to appease all those angry feminists who want to pay to see a tear-jerker movie about Dickens' reprehensible behaviour to his sexy little mistress. I shan't be paying to see it.
I can't be bothered with fiction any more seeing as how my attention-span is getting progressively shorter each year. But I feel I must make an effort.
What should I pick up?
As a mystery novel, I found The Name of the Rose compelling^ while still engaging 'serious matters'.
He who has never envied the vegetable has missed the human drama. --Emil Cioran