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  1. #1
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Often we hear a remark or an aside, even read a quip that
    'rings' and echos in our heads. Hell, sometimes we even
    create these clever reposte's our selves. I want to invite
    everyone to share their favorites here. Please...rude, off
    color even crude...FINE...butt, filth is already inexorably
    intertwined in many other threads...so please not here.

    The next post is my starting offering...please contribute.

  2. #2
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    And away we go............







    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'



    - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


    <><>
    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
    - Eleanor Roosevelt



    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.- Mark Twain
    <><>
    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible- George Burns<><> Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- Victor Borge<><> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark Twain<><> By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- Socrates
    <><>
    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho Marx<><> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy Durante<><> I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex Levine<><> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney Dangerfield
    Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike Milligan<><> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .- Joe Namath
    <><>
    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.- Bob Hope<><> I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..- W. C. Fields
    We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.- Will Roger s
    Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.- Winston Churchill
    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..- Phyllis Diller<><> By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.- Billy Crystal



















  3. #3
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Oh my God... the response is deafening...

    Oh, there is no response...well that's deafening too.

    I had a thought......(surprise surprise)

    Life is a story, every day a new chapter. Write it, live it, make it so.

    That and the sig remark as of 1432 pdst, 13 OCT11...

    sum up the way I believe and try to live'''


    Life is a wheel...SO SPIN 'n' GRAB 'n' HOLD ON...It is What it Is

    ...... ... ...


  4. #4
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Leftykins I only found this thread today. Maybe there has been a lack of response because it slipped down the listings so very quickly compared to the regular threads here? Anyway, I really like what you posted and I for one would appreciate any further posts you make. That is if you wish to revive your interest


  5. #5
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Since this thread is to do an ignoble death...until someone in the tower catches on
    and puts it to sleep I hereby declare it an open thread.

    Scat and items of that ilk still belong elsewhere..otherwise flame on.

    The lyrics to this song hit me two different ways...
    One day I heard and thought it was about a middle aged
    man at the Doctors office, finding out he was going to
    be a father. Different day and more somber of mood...
    same dude. same Doc...this time, it's in op cancer or
    something similar. Either way, powerful music. What
    do you think?

    Live Like You Were Dying
    He said I was in my early forties
    with a lot of life before me
    when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
    and I spent most of the next days
    looking at the x-rays
    Talking bout the options
    and talking bout sweet time
    I asked him when it sank in
    that this might really be the real end
    how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
    man what'd you do
    and he said
    I went sky diving
    I went Rocky Mountain climbing
    I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
    and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
    and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
    and he said someday I hope you get the chance
    to live like you were dying.
    He said I was finally the husband
    that most the time I wasn't
    and I became a friend a friend would like to have
    and all the sudden going fishin
    wasn't such an imposition
    and I went three times that year I lost my dad
    well I finally read the good book
    and I took a good long hard look
    at what I'd do if I could do it all again
    and then
    I went sky diving
    I went Rocky Mountain climbing
    I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
    and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
    and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
    and he said someday I hope you get the chance
    to live like you were dying.
    Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
    what'd you do with it what did you do with it
    what did I do with it
    what would I do with it'
    Sky diving
    I went Rocky Mountain climbing
    I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
    and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
    and I watched an eagle as it was flying
    and he said someday I hope you get the chance
    to live like you were dying.
    To live like you were dying
    To live like you were dying
    To live like you were dying
    To live like you were dying


  6. #6
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Leftykins,
    I don't normally listen to country stations, but my ladies do.
    This is one of their, and has become one of my, favorite songs.

    Very powerful, inspirational.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  7. #7
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    The roomie and that side is pissed at me because I have told them
    No Funeral...No Casket...No Services...just cremate what the donor
    program can't use and spread the leftovers. The Coasties will do that.

    Compromise...they do a eulogy or good riddance service....whatever.
    This song is one of 3 they have to play at that bullshit thing or I will come
    back and haunt them .


  8. #8
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Leftykins,
    You'll just have to outlive roomie so you can do it your way.

    As for the topic of this thread - one quote that comes to mind from time to time -

    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it"
    - Wm J. Cosby, Ed D.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  9. #9
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    It's your dime

    You talkin uh me?

    It is what it is...the rest is shit

    WELL.....That went over like a fart in church
    (kinda like this thread)

    Shut the fuck up

    It doesn't require a penis to be a big prick

  10. #10
    Defender of Downtrodden
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Welcome to The Twilight Zone . . .
    -Rod Serling


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  11. #11
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    WOW,
    This was worse than a FLOP.
    OK, now its Dump a Comment on Lefty
    have to see if the warlords in the tower will make the change

    of course, by tradition leftover restrictions apply

  12. #12
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

    OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray.

  13. #13
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Quote Originally Posted by redfox70 View Post
    There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

    OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray.
    ^
    day late\dollar short

    Butt, damn if that isn't 1/2 the reason we love her.
    BTW,
    she was instrumental in preserving the Bioblogs too


  14. #14
    Whatever
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Damn! Always the bridesmaid never the bride!

    I only played a small part in the preservation of the first collection of bioblogs. The bulk of that and the whole of the second is all down to Mistress Paddles

  15. #15
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Quote Originally Posted by redfox70 View Post
    Damn! Always the bridesmaid never the bride!

    I only played a small part in the preservation of the first collection of bioblogs. The bulk of that and the whole of the second is all down to Mistress Paddles

    Butt, the Bridesmaid doesn't have to sleep with the Groom...


    She has her choice of all the groomsmen you know...



    is this so bad?













    OOPS I meant






  16. #16
    HA! ;-)
    Kyanimal's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    "We were so poor when I was growing up, that if I hadn't been born a Boy, I wouldn't have had ANYTHING to play with!" _ Rodney Dangerfield

    Keep smilin'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  17. #17
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
    Ronald Reagan

  18. #18
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Go Boiz...

    Go...Go...Go

  19. #19
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    All this, and Leftykins, too.

    'tain't that we don't want to come play, the durned grey matter is so much mush by the time we git here, we cain't rightly remember nothin' nobody evur sed.

    And That's the Truth, phlllft
    (that there last part was Lily Tomlin as the little gurl.)


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  20. #20
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    I believe the only appropriate response there

    CheZeKaQues would have to be...



    now,

    fish or cut bait

  21. #21
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Ya try and cum-izerate with a cum-padre, and he shits all over you, ain't that just like this horse apple.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  22. #22
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That


    well, the tower Titans have ignored and missed my request to

    change the name of this thread...must be a really bad thread

    for the old or new purposes I proposed....

    Anyway...off topic... this quote reminded me of an 'ex-'friend'

    but...while capable of spinning webs of deceit...his/her name

    was not Portia.

    Portia exhibits a different mating behavior and strategy compared to other jumping spiders. In most jumping spiders, males mount bottopms to mate. In Portia the bottom drops a lubed condom
    before the male mounts, mating anywhere.

    Before this happens the top shows off his cock and extends it stiffly and shakes to attract the bottom. The bottom then drums on the Top. Mating with Portia spiders can occur off or on the web. The bottom also practices cannibalism before and after copulation. The bottom usually twists and lunges at the mounted top male (P. fimbriata however, is an exception; it does not usually exhibit such behavior.).

    If the top is killed before completing copulation, the male sperm is removed and the top is then eaten. If the top finishes mating before being killed, the sperm is kept and the top is still eaten.

    A majority of tops are killed during sexual encounters.

  23. #23
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Gee, Sounds like Preying Mantises.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  24. #24
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Nobody is paying attention Donnie...

    This might get to be a

    Me...Go...Stay...Come Thread.

    Or maybe I'll just ask to have it

    ex-communicated...that is, if any

    of The Tower listens to my requests.

  25. #25
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Lefty,
    Posting a request to the mods as a normal post is not the way to get them to do things.

    You could click on the "Report Post" button, and ask them to make the thread name change that way.

    Honest.
    Then a mod would at least SEE the post.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  26. #26
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Quote Originally Posted by DonQuixote View Post
    Lefty,
    Posting a request to the mods as a normal post is not the way to get them to do things.

    You could click on the "Report Post" button, and ask them to make the thread name change that way.

    Honest.
    Then a mod would at least SEE the post.

    Donnie,

    I used the much vaunted 'new' forum as per the tower instructions.
    I am trying to be a good little horsey. The post...which was directed
    to Site Help was hit 22 time with 0 responses. You are saying that I
    disregard their advisement?

  27. #27
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    OH, I thought you just listed in a normal post.

    You used "Ask the Moderators"?

    I forgot about that area.
    It may be that the Moderators do not have the power to rename a thread.

    I know they can MOVE them from one forum to another, or MERGE them, when there are two or more very similar threads - I think that happened w/ the Vancouver, BC Olympics.

    I don't know if they can rename, though.

    You could open a NEW thread titled the way you want it, then ask them to merge this one into that one . . .

    Just thoughts.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  28. #28
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Wish I'd Said That

    Damn Donnie, It seems like using a cannon

    at an archery contest...but...Opi said to do the

    same thing

    It's almost...when in doubt, don't read the instructions.

    well, I think I am


    Serious...thx Opi.

    Happy to all

  29. #29
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Opi and company came through.

    Now, will you people do the same?

    Brat Pack et al... this is a Wide open zone

    just keep your SCAT at home.

    Clever quips...bad jokes even I won't tell,

    durty pitchers and other players too,

    comments on flog blogs..(plz ID the flog.)



    don't just stand there


    or cry tied up


    lets Rock and Roll


    gather clanspeople

  30. #30
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    So, Leftykins,
    WHICH thing that I suggested did Opi say the same thing?

    Self-Report the post?

    or

    Open a new thread and ask them to Merge into the new?

    Just curious as to which worked.

    Gotta go start working in the kitchen.
    Have fun, y'all.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  31. #31
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    I had to go into the original thread.

    Report it, request

    and wham.

    S'prized me...

    I always thought the Report was for

    bad stuff, bad boys/girls and posts.

  32. #32
    Whatever
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    ...I always thought the Report was for

    bad stuff, bad boys/girls and posts.
    So did I..

  33. #33
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    That is a primary function, but since it brings the mods/admins directly to the forum you're discussing, it makes it easier for them to do things like this, too.

    Service with a Smile!

    Even for degenerate ponies, lol.

    Check out "If you only visit one thread" for an important update.

    You might stop by Last Post Wins, too.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  34. #34
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    KyAnimal last Sunday afternoon when the
    milking was done and the cows was fed,
    supper table tidied and the dishes warshed
    up. It were R&R and television time in the
    farmhouse homestead. They thought their
    guest (Kevbo) was napping but he heard it all...


    This is typical of an evening in


    UpperWisconsin after the Sunday Go to Meeting.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Chaz and 'hiz Kev' were watching a religious healing program on TV.

    The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed.

    'Hiz Kev' hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on his arthritic hip. He stood tall after a moment and walk ed back to his rocker.

    Chaz, the Animal, made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

    'Hiz Kev' looked at him with disgust.

    CHAZBURGER "You just don't understand, you Ole Coot. The purpose of the program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!"








  35. #35
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    OOOoooh,
    Leftykins had an exceptionally good time with his kith and kin, yesterday, and is back to share the love with us.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  36. #36
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    They weren't no kith nor

    kin ove myuns.....

    Them were the Roomies...

    Myuns missed the Turkey Fest...

    (oh darn---I telled them we wuz meeting at Mud Rock Beach)

  37. #37
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Leftykins,
    Whether by Blood or Law, they'z your'n.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  38. #38
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty


    Consanguineal

    or at best


    consanguinean inequities

    and no DNA match

  39. #39
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    So go swap spit with all of them, then there'll be a wee bit of you in them, no matter how inconsequential.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  40. #40
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    inconsequential?

    Hardy, the thought of a lip lock on some of them

    critters would take me way past curious, past BI,

    even leaving Gay in the dust.......



    Monastery time for sure










    OOPS SHHH

  41. #41
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty



    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  42. #42
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    hmmpf

    Two threads and a blog...

    maybe it's me. oh well

  43. #43
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    See JUBboggle

    I get cornfused with all the different threads.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  44. #44
    HA! ;-)
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    KyAnimal last Sunday afternoon when the
    milking was done and the cows was fed,
    supper table tidied and the dishes warshed
    up. It were R&R and television time in the
    farmhouse homestead. They thought their
    guest (Kevbo) was napping but he heard it all...

    This is typical of an evening in


    UpperWisconsin after the Sunday Go to Meeting.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Chaz and 'hiz Kev' were watching a religious healing program on TV.

    The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed.

    'Hiz Kev' hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on his arthritic hip. He stood tall after a moment and walk ed back to his rocker.

    Chaz, the Animal, made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

    'Hiz Kev' looked at him with disgust.

    CHAZBURGER "You just don't understand, you Ole Coot. The purpose of the program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!"







    LAYdies, and GENTLEmen! WELLcome to the Cathedral of Tomorrow! HErar! Syndicated on TV, aROUND the World, I bring YOU the HEALing Powers of Thy LORD Gawd, Incarnate! And, in doing so, request Your most SINcere DOH!nations to continue the UPkeep of my Sainted Mother's modest 50 room log cabin!

    BeFORE You, I present Ms. Smith, and Mr. Jones. Ms. Smith was incapacitated by polio, in her youth, and has not been able to walk since! Mr. Jones has had a speech impediment, since his EARLY Youth, and I will HEAL Them, through the Grace of GAWD, right before your very Eyes, as they step behind the veiling screen, right HErar!, on this very Stage!

    Dear LAWD! As we BARE ourselves, through the Magic of TV CAMeras, aROUND the WORLD, Grant YOUR HEALing POWers to the SORry SOULS PRAYing beHIND this SACred Screen! A-MEN!!

    Ms. Smith! THROW down your Crutches! Mr. Jones, tell us what has JUST HAPPened!

    "Uh ... Mith Smith just fell on her ATH!"

    Keep smiln'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  45. #45
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Way to go , Chaz!


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  46. #46
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Sorry I'm late............





    I got tied up elsewhere


  47. #47
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Lefty's feeling the need to sew some WILD Oats, methinks, lol.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  48. #48
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Miz Puddles left these originally at left overs post 3131.

    Somehow people missed or didn't show enough class to

    comment...This is a chance to enjoy them (and say so,

    here or in her thread) a few, touched up but by Miz Puddles





    COP...
    Ms Puddles in a V8 was going way too fast and got pulled over for speeding in Lincolnshire.
    Dave Quasar, the Constable on Patrol walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, when Puddles,the sheila said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Lincolnshire Policeman's Ball. David drew a super-cillious breath and responded, 'Lincolnshire policemen don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence.
    Constable Quasar just realized what he'd said, closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.


    International Airport Pub/lounge
    A Scotsman, Seth, a Chinaman, Glaspax, a Pom,
    Lord York and an Aussie named Anders were in the
    pub debating whose country was the best.
    The Sethbert reckoned his was the best, because they have the greenest grass.
    The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
    The IsaacSan reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
    The Anders123Mate said, “We're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your Great Wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's arse with your flag!

    More Aussie Wit {you do the names)
    An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
    On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked the priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
    The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
    Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. Ok, thank you," said the American. He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

    The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
    Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
    The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, mate - it's a local call".



    Last of the day...
    Centex Farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer named TriBi and gets talking. TriBi. the proud Aussie, shows off his big wheat field and CenTex says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

    Then they walk around the ranch a little, and TriBi shows off his herd of cattle. CenTex immediately says, " SO? We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

    The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when
    CenTec, the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?

    TriBi, a total Aussie stares at him incredulously...
    "WOT...really mate...
    You don't have any bloody grasshoppers in Texas"?


    OKAY PEOPLE. SHOW SOME LOVE and tell a friend.

  49. #49
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    Leftykins,
    I showed the love in Leftovers.
    Ms. Puddles does a wonderful job keeping us in topical and tantalizing tales of trysts and other themes.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  50. #50
    Queer enough
    EJMichaels's Avatar
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    Re: Dump a Comment w/Lefty

    I don't think we're allowed to show the love in F&G.

    More info here. Free copies by request.

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