Dump a Comment w/Lefty

[Lefty]

Often we hear a remark or an aside, even read a quip that
'rings' and echos in our heads. Hell, sometimes we even
create these clever reposte's our selves. I want to invite
everyone to share their favorites here. Please...rude, off
color even crude...FINE...butt, filth is already inexorably
intertwined in many other threads...so please not here.

The next post is my starting offering...please contribute.

[Lefty]

And away we go............







Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

<><>

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.- Mark Twain
<><>The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible- George Burns<><> Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.- Victor Borge<><> Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark Twain<><> By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- Socrates
<><> I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho Marx<><> My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy Durante<><> I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex Levine<><> My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike Milligan<><> Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .- Joe Namath
<><> I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.- Bob Hope<><> I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.- Will Roger s

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..- Phyllis Diller<><> By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.- Billy Crystal

[Lefty]

Oh my God... the response is deafening...

Oh, there is no response...well that's deafening too.

I had a thought......(surprise surprise)

Life is a story, every day a new chapter. Write it, live it, make it so.

That and the sig remark as of 1432 pdst, 13 OCT11...

sum up the way I believe and try to live'''


Life is a wheel...SO SPIN 'n' GRAB 'n' HOLD ON...It is What it Is

...... ... ...

[redfox70]

Leftykins I only found this thread today. Maybe there has been a lack of response because it slipped down the listings so very quickly compared to the regular threads here? Anyway, I really like what you posted and I for one would appreciate any further posts you make. That is if you wish to revive your interest

[Lefty]

Since this thread is to do an ignoble death...until someone in the tower catches on
and puts it to sleep I hereby declare it an open thread.

Scat and items of that ilk still belong elsewhere..otherwise flame on.

The lyrics to this song hit me two different ways...
One day I heard and thought it was about a middle aged
man at the Doctors office, finding out he was going to
be a father. Different day and more somber of mood...
same dude. same Doc...this time, it's in op cancer or
something similar. Either way, powerful music. What
do you think?

Live Like You Were Dying
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it'
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins,
I don't normally listen to country stations, but my ladies do.
This is one of their, and has become one of my, favorite songs.

Very powerful, inspirational.

[Lefty]

The roomie and that side is pissed at me because I have told them
No Funeral...No Casket...No Services...just cremate what the donor
program can't use and spread the leftovers. The Coasties will do that.

Compromise...they do a eulogy or good riddance service....whatever.
This song is one of 3 they have to play at that bullshit thing or I will come
back and haunt them .

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins,
You'll just have to outlive roomie so you can do it your way.

As for the topic of this thread - one quote that comes to mind from time to time -

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it"
- Wm J. Cosby, Ed D.

[Lefty]

It's your dime

You talkin uh me?

It is what it is...the rest is shit

WELL.....That went over like a fart in church
(kinda like this thread)

Shut the fuck up

It doesn't require a penis to be a big prick

[DonQuixote]

Welcome to The Twilight Zone . . .
-Rod Serling

[Lefty]

WOW,

This was worse than a FLOP.

OK, now its Dump a Comment on Lefty

have to see if the warlords in the tower will make the change

of course, by tradition leftover restrictions apply

[redfox70]

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray.

[Lefty]

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray.

^
day late\dollar short

Butt, damn if that isn't 1/2 the reason we love her.
BTW,
she was instrumental in preserving the Bioblogs too

[redfox70]

Damn! Always the bridesmaid never the bride!

I only played a small part in the preservation of the first collection of bioblogs. The bulk of that and the whole of the second is all down to Mistress Paddles

[Lefty]

Damn! Always the bridesmaid never the bride!

I only played a small part in the preservation of the first collection of bioblogs. The bulk of that and the whole of the second is all down to Mistress Paddles

Butt, the Bridesmaid doesn't have to sleep with the Groom...


She has her choice of all the groomsmen you know...

is this so bad?

OOPS I meant

[Kyanimal]

"We were so poor when I was growing up, that if I hadn't been born a Boy, I wouldn't have had ANYTHING to play with!" _ Rodney Dangerfield

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

[GayLad87]

How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Ronald Reagan

[Lefty]

Go Boiz...

Go...Go...Go

[DonQuixote]

All this, and Leftykins, too.

'tain't that we don't want to come play, the durned grey matter is so much mush by the time we git here, we cain't rightly remember nothin' nobody evur sed.

And That's the Truth, phlllft
(that there last part was Lily Tomlin as the little gurl.)

[Lefty]

I believe the only appropriate response there

CheZeKaQues would have to be...



now,

fish or cut bait

[DonQuixote]

Ya try and cum-izerate with a cum-padre, and he shits all over you, ain't that just like this horse apple.

[Lefty]

well, the tower Titans have ignored and missed my request to

change the name of this thread...must be a really bad thread

for the old or new purposes I proposed....

Anyway...off topic... this quote reminded me of an 'ex-'friend'

but...while capable of spinning webs of deceit...his/her name

was not Portia.

Portia exhibits a different mating behavior and strategy compared to other jumping spiders. In most jumping spiders, males mount bottopms to mate. In Portia the bottom drops a lubed condom
before the male mounts, mating anywhere.

Before this happens the top shows off his cock and extends it stiffly and shakes to attract the bottom. The bottom then drums on the Top. Mating with Portia spiders can occur off or on the web. The bottom also practices cannibalism before and after copulation. The bottom usually twists and lunges at the mounted top male (P. fimbriata however, is an exception; it does not usually exhibit such behavior.).

If the top is killed before completing copulation, the male sperm is removed and the top is then eaten. If the top finishes mating before being killed, the sperm is kept and the top is still eaten.

A majority of tops are killed during sexual encounters.

[DonQuixote]

Gee, Sounds like Preying Mantises.

[Lefty]

Nobody is paying attention Donnie...

This might get to be a

Me...Go...Stay...Come Thread.

Or maybe I'll just ask to have it

ex-communicated...that is, if any

of The Tower listens to my requests.

[DonQuixote]

Lefty,
Posting a request to the mods as a normal post is not the way to get them to do things.

You could click on the "Report Post" button, and ask them to make the thread name change that way.

Honest.
Then a mod would at least SEE the post.

[Lefty]

Lefty,
Posting a request to the mods as a normal post is not the way to get them to do things.

You could click on the "Report Post" button, and ask them to make the thread name change that way.

Honest.
Then a mod would at least SEE the post.

Donnie,

I used the much vaunted 'new' forum as per the tower instructions.
I am trying to be a good little horsey. The post...which was directed
to Site Help was hit 22 time with 0 responses. You are saying that I
disregard their advisement?

[DonQuixote]

OH, I thought you just listed in a normal post.

You used "Ask the Moderators"?

I forgot about that area.
It may be that the Moderators do not have the power to rename a thread.

I know they can MOVE them from one forum to another, or MERGE them, when there are two or more very similar threads - I think that happened w/ the Vancouver, BC Olympics.

I don't know if they can rename, though.

You could open a NEW thread titled the way you want it, then ask them to merge this one into that one . . .

Just thoughts.

[Lefty]

Damn Donnie, It seems like using a cannon

at an archery contest...but...Opi said to do the

same thing

It's almost...when in doubt, don't read the instructions.

well, I think I am


Serious...thx Opi.

Happy to all

[Lefty]

Opi and company came through.

Now, will you people do the same?

Brat Pack et al... this is a Wide open zone

just keep your SCAT at home.

Clever quips...bad jokes even I won't tell,

durty pitchers and other players too,

comments on flog blogs..(plz ID the flog.)



don't just stand there


or cry tied up


lets Rock and Roll


gather clanspeople

[DonQuixote]

So, Leftykins,
WHICH thing that I suggested did Opi say the same thing?

Self-Report the post?

or

Open a new thread and ask them to Merge into the new?

Just curious as to which worked.

Gotta go start working in the kitchen.
Have fun, y'all.

[Lefty]

I had to go into the original thread.

Report it, request

and wham.

S'prized me...

I always thought the Report was for

bad stuff, bad boys/girls and posts.

[redfox70]

...I always thought the Report was for

bad stuff, bad boys/girls and posts.

So did I..

[DonQuixote]

That is a primary function, but since it brings the mods/admins directly to the forum you're discussing, it makes it easier for them to do things like this, too.

Service with a Smile!

Even for degenerate ponies, lol.

Check out "If you only visit one thread" for an important update.

You might stop by Last Post Wins, too.

[Lefty]

KyAnimal last Sunday afternoon when the
milking was done and the cows was fed,
supper table tidied and the dishes warshed
up. It were R&R and television time in the
farmhouse homestead. They thought their
guest (Kevbo) was napping but he heard it all...

This is typical of an evening in


UpperWisconsin after the Sunday Go to Meeting.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Chaz and 'hiz Kev' were watching a religious healing program on TV.

The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed.

'Hiz Kev' hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on his arthritic hip. He stood tall after a moment and walk ed back to his rocker.

Chaz, the Animal, made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

'Hiz Kev' looked at him with disgust.

CHAZBURGER "You just don't understand, you Ole Coot. The purpose of the program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!"

[DonQuixote]

OOOoooh,
Leftykins had an exceptionally good time with his kith and kin, yesterday, and is back to share the love with us.

[Lefty]

They weren't no kith nor

kin ove myuns.....

Them were the Roomies...

Myuns missed the Turkey Fest...

(oh darn---I telled them we wuz meeting at Mud Rock Beach)

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins,
Whether by Blood or Law, they'z your'n.

[Lefty]

Consanguineal

or at best


consanguinean inequities

and no DNA match

[DonQuixote]

So go swap spit with all of them, then there'll be a wee bit of you in them, no matter how inconsequential.

[Lefty]

inconsequential?

Hardy, the thought of a lip lock on some of them

critters would take me way past curious, past BI,

even leaving Gay in the dust.......



Monastery time for sure










OOPS SHHH

[DonQuixote]

http://www.smallsandbrownconstructio.../dumptruck.jpg

Shit Happens

[Lefty]

hmmpf

Two threads and a blog...

maybe it's me. oh well

[DonQuixote]

See JUBboggle

I get cornfused with all the different threads.

[Kyanimal]

KyAnimal last Sunday afternoon when the
milking was done and the cows was fed,
supper table tidied and the dishes warshed
up. It were R&R and television time in the
farmhouse homestead. They thought their
guest (Kevbo) was napping but he heard it all...

This is typical of an evening in


UpperWisconsin after the Sunday Go to Meeting.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Chaz and 'hiz Kev' were watching a religious healing program on TV.

The Evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on the TV and the other on the body part they wanted healed.

'Hiz Kev' hobbled to the TV and put one hand on the TV and the other on his arthritic hip. He stood tall after a moment and walk ed back to his rocker.

Chaz, the Animal, made his way to the set and put one hand on the TV and the other on his crotch.

'Hiz Kev' looked at him with disgust.

CHAZBURGER "You just don't understand, you Ole Coot. The purpose of the program is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!"

LAYdies, and GENTLEmen! WELLcome to the Cathedral of Tomorrow! HErar! Syndicated on TV, aROUND the World, I bring YOU the HEALing Powers of Thy LORD Gawd, Incarnate! And, in doing so, request Your most SINcere DOH!nations to continue the UPkeep of my Sainted Mother's modest 50 room log cabin!

BeFORE You, I present Ms. Smith, and Mr. Jones. Ms. Smith was incapacitated by polio, in her youth, and has not been able to walk since! Mr. Jones has had a speech impediment, since his EARLY Youth, and I will HEAL Them, through the Grace of GAWD, right before your very Eyes, as they step behind the veiling screen, right HErar!, on this very Stage!

Dear LAWD! As we BARE ourselves, through the Magic of TV CAMeras, aROUND the WORLD, Grant YOUR HEALing POWers to the SORry SOULS PRAYing beHIND this SACred Screen! A-MEN!!

Ms. Smith! THROW down your Crutches! Mr. Jones, tell us what has JUST HAPPened!

"Uh ... Mith Smith just fell on her ATH!"

Keep smiln'!!
Chaz

[DonQuixote]

Way to go , Chaz!

[Lefty]

Sorry I'm late............

I got tied up elsewhere

[DonQuixote]

Lefty's feeling the need to sew some WILD Oats, methinks, lol.

[Lefty]

Miz Puddles left these originally at left overs post 3131.

Somehow people missed or didn't show enough class to

comment...This is a chance to enjoy them (and say so,

here or in her thread) a few, touched up but by Miz Puddles





COP...
Ms Puddles in a V8 was going way too fast and got pulled over for speeding in Lincolnshire.
Dave Quasar, the Constable on Patrol walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, when Puddles,the sheila said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Lincolnshire Policeman's Ball. David drew a super-cillious breath and responded, 'Lincolnshire policemen don't have balls.' There was a moment of silence.
Constable Quasar just realized what he'd said, closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.

International Airport Pub/lounge
A Scotsman, Seth, a Chinaman, Glaspax, a Pom,
Lord York and an Aussie named Anders were in the
pub debating whose country was the best.
The Sethbert reckoned his was the best, because they have the greenest grass.
The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
The IsaacSan reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
The Anders123Mate said, “We're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your Great Wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's arse with your flag!

More Aussie Wit {you do the names)
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked the priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. Ok, thank you," said the American. He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, mate - it's a local call".


Last of the day...
Centex Farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer named TriBi and gets talking. TriBi. the proud Aussie, shows off his big wheat field and CenTex says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and TriBi shows off his herd of cattle. CenTex immediately says, " SO? We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when
CenTec, the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?

TriBi, a total Aussie stares at him incredulously...
"WOT...really mate...
You don't have any bloody grasshoppers in Texas"?

OKAY PEOPLE. SHOW SOME LOVE and tell a friend.

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins,
I showed the love in Leftovers.
Ms. Puddles does a wonderful job keeping us in topical and tantalizing tales of trysts and other themes.

[EJMichaels]

I don't think we're allowed to show the love in F&G.