Leftovers with Lefty (flame ok)l

[DonQuixote]

Evening, Andy and Lefty.

[Lefty]

Good evening old boy...

Might want to poke your head into the

Jubber looks like and Dump a comment threads.

[crimsonpaine]

[DonQuixote]

Oooh, cruel, man, cruel.

Continuing with my Easter Chocolate theme - here are some more "eggs" ready for filling . . .

They could almost be sweet Daleks . . .

[Riverrick]

[Lefty]

Just Like Cadburys,



My Eggs are full of creme too...



and almost no Glutens or Glucose,

just Pure Protein and vitamins

[DonQuixote]

I think you're misrepresenting YOUR body there, Leftykins . . .

[Lefty]

Lemurs have relatively low basal metabolic rates and
may exhibit seasonal breeding, dormancy (such as hibernation
or torpor), or female social dominance.

Be careful Don 'lemur' Quixote...
or I'll advise your maternal unit you are being a brat.
She will soon have your ass in another facility that's



designed to correct your snot-nosed wise ass attitude.

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins caught sitting down on the job. . .

[crimsonpaine]

[Lefty]

Gosh Donnie and Andy,
Good Job both of you.

Now, got your reading glasses out?
Since Leprechaun Day is approaching,

I felt compelled to trot this oldie out...



THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over three years.
Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye
been all this time? Why did ye not write to us? Not even a
line. Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye
put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, Sniff, sniff...."Dad.....
I was too embarrassed, I became a prostitute."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this Catholic family, so yer are."

"OK, Daddy...as ye wish...I just came back to give my
Mammy this luxurious fur coat, title deed to an eight
bedroom mansion plus a $5 million cheque. For me little
brother Seamus, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the
sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's
parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Limerick
County Country Club.

She takes a breath and continues, "and an invitation for ye
all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht sailing
in the Caribbean."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad

Girl, crying again, Sniff, sniff...
"A prostitute Daddy!" Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death girl!
I thought ye said a PROTESTANT.
Come here and give yer old Daddy a big hug."

[Riverrick]

Gosh that was funny, Wilbuuuurrrrr!

[crimsonpaine]

stupid posting. wanna put a laughing smilie and keeps changing it to what I don't want it. so

just pretend okay

[DonQuixote]

Doesn't it amount to about the same thing, Leftykins?

BTW, someone caught you in a candid moment . . .

[Lefty]

FW: Don't Start None - Won't Be None

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit
beside you?" The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO
SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was
truly embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly
to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, and I know what a
man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

The guy then responded with a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S
TOO MUCH!" All the people in the library looked at the girl who was
now in shock. The guy whispered in her ear: "I study law, and I know
how to screw people.

[crimsonpaine]

haha love that. Tit for tat.

[DonQuixote]

That's a great one, Leftykins.

I think Taz, Vince, and the gang from down under will too.
Of course, it also would apply to our good friend JustAGuy from NZ.

Oh, Lady Gaga left this for you - it's from a recent video she did. She said to say thanks for loaning it to her.

[Lefty]

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.


A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.


A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.




The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared...




































'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

[DonQuixote]

Leftykins, my poor, poor Leftykins . . .
That was just SOoooo

[crimsonpaine]

[crimsonpaine]

“A man and his wife are playing golf. He shanks one into the rough, and finds an old barn between him and the hole. “No problem,” says his wife, “I’ll open the barn doors and you can hit it through the barn.” She does this, but the ball bounces off a beam, hits her in the head and kills her.

Three years later, the widower and his buddy are playing the same course, and the widower lands again in the same spot. “No problem,” says his buddy, “I’ll open the barn doors and you can hit it through the barn.”

“Hell, no!” says the widower. “Last time I tried that, I came in five over par!”

[DonQuixote]

Was he a Scot by any chance?!

[Lefty]

The importance of walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months alive in a
Nursing home at $4,500 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good, doesn't he.'
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining,
the breeze is blowing, the birds are signing
and the lawn mower is broken.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a bar with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

My wife said “Whatcha doing today?”
I said “Nothing”
She said “You did that yesterday”
I said “I’m not finished.”

While in a drugs store a couple of days ago,
this elderly woman asked me
“What’s the best form of birth control after fifty.”
Although surprised, I answered her honestly
when I said “nudity.”
Do you know why a woman’s work is never done?
They don’t get up early enough.

Did you know that Dolphins are so smart
that within a few weeks of captivity,
they can train people to stand on the very
edge of the pool and throw fish to them.

I over herd two dogs talking about their master.
One said to the other, “What kind of best friend
would have your testicles removed.”

Now that I’m older, I thought it was great
that I Seemed to have more patience.
Turns out, I just don’t give a damn!

And finally, when you think about it,
God is the greatest inventor of all time. He
took a rib from Adam, and made a loadspeaker.
P.S. You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them!
It will save you the walk!
　
　


　
　
　

[DonQuixote]

Ah, yes, the sage commentary from the back side of the hill.

Morning, Leftykins.
In and out quicklike.

[crimsonpaine]

"the breeze is blowing, the birds are signing "

Nothing worse that mute birds

Morning Lefty

[Lefty]

It's not bad once you learn to read between the quills...

Suns up and shooting for 78-80 by Wed/Thurs.

why the sad bye wave?

[crimsonpaine]

I never realized it was a sad wave until you pointed that out. I just saw it as a different wave. I should probably look more closely at things like that, people may start to talk [shifty eyes].

[DonQuixote]

Evening, Andy and Lefty.

I caught that, too, Andy, but decided I would give out poor boy a pass this time - and I was only in for a second.
Glad you Kept him on the (maybe not so) straight and narrow.

It sounds like Leftykins is ready to get out and strut his stuff . . .

[Lefty]

Been over to dump a comment lately?

3 separate 'The Boys' posts...I think

[DonQuixote]

I do believe I have "been to the mount(ing?!)" and seen the UPlifting experiences there.

[BENDERBOY]

Evening folks, everyone still alive i see.

[DonQuixote]

Hi, Seth.
Yup, alive and kicking.
But have to head on off for an Early up and at 'em.

[Lefty]

Alive but bored.

Typical Sunday... Todays big moment was that the temperature made it to 72F.

78-80 Wed/Thu.


Damn Don...seems like we never have any face time anymore.

[DonQuixote]

Yeah, I know.
I've been on for a bit now.

Sadly, it is what it is.
Take care, my friend.

[BENDERBOY]

You two should get it on.

[CupidBoy]

^ I agree, they need to confront all that sexual tension, worked for us.

[BENDERBOY]

^ I agree, they need to confront all that sexual tension, worked for us.

At the very least have a Skype moment.

[CupidBoy]

At the very least have a Skype moment.

Oh Seth don't get me worked up, I'm still sore from the last time.

They should give it a thought indeed.

[Lefty]

Thanks for your imput and concern boys. Just not going to happen.

We're really good buds but the sex thing just isn't there between us.

[BENDERBOY]

Well thats my days of playing Dolly Levi over.

[CupidBoy]

At least you tried dearest.

[BENDERBOY]

Maybe i should give it another try with Pat and Buzzy. they'd be hot together.

[Lefty]

It's just that he is so east coast inhibited and a bit of a prude...

doesn't have a 'Californication bone in his body.


.......................Patsy from Oz and the buzzer?

You do like a challenge don't you? lol

[CupidBoy]

Seth, I'm just now leaving, let's not make me vomit.

[EJMichaels]

Something pretty (and cool!) to offset the previous post.




Monkey orchids (Orchis simia).

[Lefty]

I've never seen anything like those orchids.

And yes, they make up for Jasons little icky ick ick.

[Lefty]

------ Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a
nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I
thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment
on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so
we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault
that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me,
and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He
smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know
why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted
nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He
continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I
decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt
that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I
cried. I don't know what to do.. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with
someone else. My life is a disaster.

-----Husbands Diary:
A two-foot putt..........who the hell misses a two-foot putt ?

[Riverrick]

[Lefty]

Hey boys and others, there are several newer posts in the Dump a comment with Lefty thread.

Two just today....tell us what you think...

a couple of the pics might require one-handed typing...

[DonQuixote]

Hey, Leftykins.

Let me just say YOU've got a hella nerve saying I have "east coast hangups" Mr. afraid to explore the full range of your body's sensory spots.

I was going to suggest that we ask Seth and Jason to join us for some connubial bliss where the sage experience of age and meld with the vitality and eagerness of youth.

But, No. You have to go and step on your dick and open your mouth with all the wrong words - again!