^If you DO start another thread...
Could you link to it here on THIS thread???
That way -- those Jubbers who have been following AZ's website might be able to FIND that thread in the future!!!
It MIGHT even BOOST book SALES!!!
^If you DO start another thread...
Could you link to it here on THIS thread???
That way -- those Jubbers who have been following AZ's website might be able to FIND that thread in the future!!!
It MIGHT even BOOST book SALES!!!
Sure I was wondering should it still go into the porn section? Anyone know? On a side note I finished the book and while there were things I already knew in it there were a ton of things I had no clue on. Its sad really I do wish the new owners well with the site and even Austin assuming he continues on as a performer but even I have to say I am shocked at the lack of communication coming from anyone over there. I am really trying to figure out if I am cancelling my membership in the next day or two before it renews. At this rate it really is turning into the old SCM.
The above post is totally my opinion and while in the past I have made a post here or there on behalf of Zane this post in no way reflects his beliefs... just want to get that out there in case anyone reading this had any questions about that.
Do as you wish about a new thread, but my suggestion would be to let the discussion continue in this thread. This thread was created because all of us were interested in Austin and Zane and the web site that they were developing and marketing. Zane's book is the story of that partnership. The partnership of Austin and Zane has now ended. Keeping the book discussion with this thread keeps the story in one place on jub.
austin and zane seemed more exciting when they were still in 2scm
There's so much hype and myth around AZ, it's becoming ridiculous, and comparing it to The Women is about the gayest point of view I can think of. What is it that makes them so special in comparison to the dozens and dozens of other guys in porn that came before them and are following suit?
AZ had potential but I think they made the mistake of making porn - at the time - their priority, which can take its toll on young, impressionable men over a lengthy period of time. Even professional porn "stars" with 20 years of experience have always had a day job that has kept them from losing grip of reality.
So I decided to sit down and read Zane's book "Shame and Fortune". It's less than 200 pages so I was able to get through it pretty quickly. While Zane used his own names (porn and given) throughout the book, he made a somewhat thoughtful attempt to rename others in order to protect their privacy. I say somewhat because there are occasions where several mistakes were made and the actual persons were identified. I'm guessing Zane didn't have an editor for this book as there are loads of errors throughout it.
The ending was a jumbled confusing mess. But the rest of the book was interesting.
QUALIFIER: There are 7 billion humans on planet Earth and with them comes 7 billion opinions. Mine is just one.
I strongly dislike GAY FOR PAY porn stars. I am one of those gay guys with disposable income and none of my money would ever go to the likes of Cody Cummings. Never. Our biggest sexual organ is our brain. The only thing that separates a gay guy from a straight guy is how we view or see a gay guy versus a straight guy. What value or price tag do we assign to a straight guy that we don't to a gay guy? In 2012 gay men are every bit as macho as straight men. Alex Marte, John Magnum, Adam Killian, Kurt Rogers, Peto Coast, Ace Rockwood, Matthew Rush. The list goes on and on.
Today the only difference you will notice between a GAY FOR PAY porn star versus a GAY porn star is "how your mind views each one of them". It all boils down to how we as gay men view being gay.
I like Zane Michaels. He was the main (and only) reason I joined AustinZane in the first place. I never read anything on the site or participated in chats with the guys. I only logged in when there was a new scene between Zane and Austin. If they were in a duo scene, I wanted the video. If the video was a threesome or solo or Zane with someone else or Austin with someone else, I didn't even bother watching it. For me it was all about the chemistry between Zane and Austin.
So the biggest shock for me in "Shame and Fortune" was the fact that they were straight. When I read the first page and saw "As a straight guy. . .", I did a double take. WTF? I was completely floored. Completely.
Austin and Zane are some of the best actors in the world period - Maybe? Whenever I watched their scenes I was so turned on by the fact that they were turned on by each other. I remember one scene where Zane was making breakfast for Austin. They were touching each other, kissing each other, rubbing each other, licking each other. While Zane was standing at the stove making eggs, Austin squatted down and stuck his tongue in Zane's ass. Austin also protected Zane during this scene. When they started fooling around, Austin moved Zane's body away from the stove to ensure Zane didn't get burned. Either they were really into each other or again their acting is off the fucking charts.
In other scenes I also watch erections. It took nothing for Zane to become erect when Austin touches him. I would look for this during uninterrupted scenes where Zane went from flaccid to erect with no scene cuts, splices or edits. Their scenes were hot - especially when no one else was in the room with them.
And I also believe that Zane meant something to Austin. Austin has a child named after Zane (Zane's actual middle name I believe). Who does that? It is no reason the baby's mother had "issues" with Zane. These guys pack a LOT of chemistry between each other. I always assumed that Zane was gay.
After finishing the book I still believe Zane is closer to 6 on the Kinsey scale relative to Austin. It's evident in the book that Austin can become CONSUMED with his girlfriends. I didn't get that sense with Zane and his female consorts. Throughout the book, I got the impression that if Austin ever came up to Zane and told him let's run away together and sell bananas on a tropical island, Zane would already have a bag packed ready in the hall closet.
I believe Austin was conflicted. He loved Zane but he also really enjoyed the company of females to great peril it seemed. His girlfriends wanted unconditional 100% devotion. And for each of them it seemed the ultimate test of that love was to ensure that Austin abandoned Zane in deference to her. And it seemed Zane was looking for the same thing as well. Zane's love for Austin was big enough to allow Austin to have girlfriends but there seemed to be this unspoken mantra of "Bros before Hos" which really equated into me (Zane) before her (insert Austin's femme du jour here). You really never sensed this type of conflict when Zane had a girlfriend. Austin wasn't as bothered. There were never any conflicts between Zane's girlfriends (when he had them) and Austin.
Another thing about this digital book is the fact of what is missing from the pages. Zane never really talks about the sex between him and Austin. He writes about starting and completing scenes. He shares the logistics of the scenes but nothing else. He never speaks of their sexual chemistry. And the reader is also left with the biggest question of all: have the two ever been intimate with each other off camera within the past 5 or so years that they have known each other? The honesty behind that question would be quite telling. Separately they are two interesting guys. But together they are a beautiful display of fireworks.
All of this is somewhat tragic really. In a perfect world, Austin and Zane would be a couple both on and off screen. They would care for each other and love each other immensely, traveling the world, connecting with people all over and building a life full of memories, adventures and strong bonds. But that isn't gonna happen now.
Zane is going to return back home and initially might try to build a relationship with Jacey or Brianna or some other girl that he might think fulfills the void of an absent Austin but I'm guessing no one will replace that void. BUT I DO WISH HIM WELL.
Austin's future is unknown at the moment. I do see another baby on the horizon at some point. And that website isn't going to last. Trust me. I have cancelled my membership. That site was all about Zane and Austin and if Zane isn't returning, my guess is several members will not as well. Only time will tell. The latest scenes added are key indicators. None of the guys are memorable with the exception of the ubiquitous and likable Mitch Vaughn. BUT I DO WISH AUSTIN WELL.
There is a LOT of dysfunction in this book. But they are real guys trying to build solid and stable lives for themselves. I think they are misguided about the ramifications of what it means to be gay. . . . just like many of us may be who fork out money for GAY FOR PAY porn stars.
Thanks for reading my book and I enjoyed how thorough your analysis is Yes, if you bought the digital version off of Amazon, you did indeed receive an early, unedited version and should be receiving the revised and extended version by weekends end (for free). To answer your question, We have never messed around off camera- I didn't include that in the book because I didn't want the book to come across as this macho see-look-how-straight-we-are story that many gay-for-payers promote religiously. I wanted it to be an honest, open look at the dynamic and the struggles that came along with the situation we were in. I didn't speak a whole lot about the chemistry because to be honest, I wrote the book over the past three years and was too busy running a company that it didnt really sink in that our scenes were that amazing. It wasn't until I started finishing the book that I actually began looking back and figuring a lot of things out. As for your bananas and tropical island theory, maybe my bags are already packed, but I would have to think twice from now on and look past the facade. I'm an eternal optimist and would love nothing more than to be friends with Austin again but I don't really think that's going to happen... There's a lot of pain there but regardless of how things went and are, I'll always have a lot of love for that kid and I wish him well in whatever he does.
P.S. thanks to all of you that have read my book. 'Shame and Fortune' debuted at #14 on Amazon right behind a book that was written by Justin Beiber's mom- how awesome is that!?!
I honestly did not know they worked for SCM. When I was reading the book I actually had to stop and go online to research where they were before AustinZane appeared. And when I did a Google search, Just Us Boys answered the question (some post here). I made a mental note to join Just Us Boys after I finished reading the book just because of the assistance. You will see that my post above was my first here. So I had no idea. But that answer and Zane's book did explain why Austin and Zane kept talking about the use of balloons in their first video. When I first saw their 1 year anniversary video, I kept wondering why they linked balloons to their 1st ever scene together. And then I finally got it.
The only person I knew from SCM was a guy named Dean who had an amazing ass. But when I learned he too was GAY FOR PAY I lost interest. He still has a nice ass but so does Adam Killian and John Magnum so I send my money over to Lucas Entertainment or other gay studios. Makes me feel better. Not saying everyone has to do that - just my preference.
I will miss the chemistry between Zane and Austin. I think most will. Their scenes together were really really hot. I don't know how Austin is going to find a Zane replacement. Zane is the only reason I joined in the first place. I liked his butt, his smile and his personality. So finding a Zane replacement will be tough. But I'm sure Austin and/or the new owners will try.
Some pictures of Zane from twitter since retiring:
That is just beautiful . . .
AZ was the last recorded site where Drake Wild performed. Any updates on him?
Hey guys, Zane here. I will be loading up a truck/trailer with supplies and construction equipment and heading to NYC/NJ to assist with the cleanup efforts for the next few weeks. If you have ANYTHING you can donate to the cause, please private message me for details and I can pick them up on the way. Thanks guys!
Heading down there myself to do same.
As a complete non sequitur, you have a stunning cock.
Your help will be greatly appreciated.
Is it safe to say that AZ is transforming into just another Next Door Corbin Cody Blue Strokes site? I miss the experimental intimacy they had with their models but, oh well, good things never last that long.
It's safe to say that since Zane left AZ, the house of cards that they built has fallen. The new owners claim they "are working hard to get back to a rigid 5 day update cycle" but have not made an on-time update since Zane left- a few times going 12 days in between updates. After not updating their members via the blog, they have removed it and have not (as far as I can see) had one single live show since his departure. I follow both AZ and Zane Michaels on Twitter and I have to admit, all of Austin's attempts to bring new members to the site are coming across as cheap and desperate and remind me of SCM. Seems like Zane got out at the right time, me thinks there is more to the story, though. Care to comment, Zane???
Actually, I would rather hear from "Austin." It's clear that Zane has left the site and has no input to the day-to-day management of austinzane. I would much rather hear something from those who are managing the site. Regardless, I think the writing is on the wall. Austinzane is pretty much toast. Austin is off working with Austin Wilde and Anthony Romero and their new site, while his site flounders. That tells me that Austin is not committed to his customers that pay every month. Frankly, without having regular updates and there being no explaination of the future of AZ, I have been foolish for waiting this long to cancel my membership.
Just discovered that you can read Zane's book on a Kindle free if you are a member of Amazon Prime (via the included lending service)
^I hope Amazon is paying him royalties for the privilege.
Darn, I had a trial Amazon Prime membership for a month before his book came out. Maybe the book is available if you try the
30 day trial.
for someone who's retired from porn, zane's sure showing a lot of skin (not that i mind!)
damn, i'd love to be tickled deep by him!
seeing as he hung out and appeared to be friends with the cf guys, i wonder if pete might coax him into doing some scenes for cfselect?
You know what they say, "once a whore, never a bore."
Kinda sad he left AZ. He and Austin had such good chemistry onscreen. Oh well. I am sure Zane will hang around. He already did a scene for men.com.
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'
Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while! Yes, I am afraid it is true, the site the Austin and I created, seems to be dead. I had originally thought that the site was in good hands without me being there but now the site seems to be left for dead. On Christmas, I was trying to show my cousin the Hardball Films logo that I designed (we're a close family lol) so I went to the site to bring it up and I was surprised to see that all traces of the HBF logo have been removed along with the Blog, the LIVEchat, video descriptions, and the update schedule was removed from the 'help' section. I'm not sure if the new year will bring a revival to AZ but it seems that I did get out before things got really bad.
I recently visited Las Vegas and before I left, I chose to go visit Austin and bury the hatchet. We spoke over a 6-pack and I was surprised to learn that he never actually sold his share of the website. The only reason I agreed to sell the site was because as I was laying in a hospital bed in Ohio, I received an email that stated that Austin agreed to sell his portion of the site to the new owners. I knew that if one of us was no longer a part of AZ, the site wouldn't be the same site that we created so I accepted the same offer to be bought out. If I knew he wasn't actually going to sell, I would have never sold my part and AZ would probably still be operating. I'm not sure of any agreements that Austin has/had in place with the new owners but as you can understand, I felt a little betrayed. However, I was there to bury the hatchet and there was nothing that I could do to undo it so I just wished him well.
Now that the site is dead, I do not know what he is doing or has planned but I can only imagine that things are a little tight for him. It pains me to think that he may be struggling which is why I feel that although there is some validation in the thought that I was a big part of the site's success, it brings me no satisfaction to be 'right' in this situation.
As far as my book, Shame and Fortune, goes, I have been very limited in my promotion of it and have almost completely cut communication with my publisher. The book was published with so many errors and silly mistakes that were supposed to be edited by my publisher but were not. If I knew he wasn't going to edit it, I would have took the time and did it myself. Sales are still doing well, but when I received the version to approve for print, almost all of the mistakes that I had since changed were still in the new version for print which I will not approve. I appreciated all of you that purchased the book and were able to look past the mistakes and just focus on the story. If I receive an edited version from my publisher, I will approve it for print but until then, the digital version will just have to do! I hope everyone is having a great holiday season and I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store! I love you guys!
Who got Bret in the breakup?
Shared custody, I suspect.
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'
Lol, I speak to Bret pretty regularly and he'll be coming to Ohio for a visit in the spring he's doing really well!
Sorry, late arrival to this conversation. Sorry to hear about things dissolving. Where in Ohio are you at these days?
I'm in the sticks but the nearest city is Toledo
I can't even begin to say how sad I am. I stumbled accross a video of Zane from SCM and was tottally wowed, so of course I started searching him and was so happy to see not only was he doing porn but even started his own site. I was super psyched and I was seconds from signing up when I stumbled accross this. All in one day I found one of the most beautiful men out there and "poof" he was gone. I will be buying the book, partly cause I super nosey and partly cause Zane seems like a cool (crazy hot) guy. Even though our love affair was quick Zane I wish you all the best.
Anyone see the latest video the "new owners" of AZ posted? I could barely watch it and only did to confirm my suspicions that it was garbage and also to confirm that Austin is no longer with AZ. Below is what I wrote in the AZ comments section after the video but am sure it will never be approved to post so I also sent a separate email to the new owners. I'm sure what I had to say will mean nothing to them anyway but it made me feel better to say it.
"First words that come to mind are "what the fuck was that?" I would normally try to be positive and give constructive criticism but this doesn't deserve it. Obviously, you "new owners" are trying something different and it sucks. Let AZ die in peace and just start a whole new website if this is the content that is going to be on it. This doesn't deserve to be on this site. What Austin and Zane created was very special and the fans and members are all disappointed and sad that it came to an end. Austin was trying to carry on and at least he still had the passion and drive to want to continue to create a quality product. If given the chance, I believe he could have succeeded. Yes it would be different but still a quality product plus he still had his fan base to pull it through. This was just crap. Completely fake and staged from the moment it started. No chemistry and kind of creepy. To the actors themselves, really don't mean to offend, this may be perfectly acceptable porn on some other site, but it is completely misplaced on AZ. Fans/members came here for specific reasons and this latest update is the exact opposite of them. Yes, you can call me bitter and tell me to get over the fact that the real AZ is no more; I can admit I don't like it and miss it. BUT that doesn't change the fact that Austin shouldn't have been restricted then pushed out and should still be running this site. It also doesn't change the fact that this latest update was shit. EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED! Since this will probably never be approved to post, I will send an email also."
Anyone else have any thoughts on this?
What I find most interesting and disturbing is that Austin or the "new owners" have not made any public statements about AustinZane. That crap scene that was posted a few days ago is pretty much a joke. I don't believe that we will ever know the truth that went on between Austin or Zane, the demise of the site or the "new owners." While Zane has made comments here and there, but, the real story is in what has not been said.
In my opinion, they have all taken advantage of the members. By not communicating with the members and not posting regularly scheduled content, what we have is pretty much a scam. They are making money from the site, charging subscribers and not providing any new materials. The "new owners" and the "former owners" have failed their fiduciary duties to their subscribers...not that they care.
It's also interesting that non of the porn bloggers have taken an interest in what happens when a once up and coming and award winning porn company goes belly-up.
Lastly, in following the AZ twitter TL, it looks like porn producer, Tom Moore is somehow associated with AZ. That can't be good at all. The quality and depth of Tom Moore's stuff, IMO, is pretty low class.
After finally speaking with a mutual friend, I was informed that Austin really wanted to prove to everyone that he could do AZ on his own without me but the new owners were making it very difficult for him. When I was bought out, the new owners felt that AZ could only be more successful if they owned it 100%. Now I have heard that the new owners had closed the bank accounts, locked Austin out of the site and the Twitter, and it appears to have been sold or given to that Tom Moore guy- but I really don't know however, there is some tell-tale signs. So all that I know for sure is that Austin and I have nothing to do with AZ anymore and the site has indeed taken a turn for the -strange? Did the new owners get more frustrated with Austin? Did a big blow-out lead to a sale? We may never know, this is all speculation which is why I can only be so informative.
AZ was my obsession. I loved creating content that was unique and fun. Had Austin taken the site as seriously as we both did when we first launched, it would still be the same site that it was. I would grow so frustrated sometimes that I would start manipulating situations to somehow try to get Austin more on board but my efforts usually backfired and made me look like an asshole of a friend. Even now, I sometimes wonder if there was something else I could have done to influence him but after a while, AZ was no longer a priority for him. I was always and still am very devoted to those that supported us. I still Skype with fans (zane.michaels1) and still interact with everyone on my Twitter (zanemichaels1) so please do not include me in the 'scammer/taking advantage of members' group, the new AZ is something that I am not comfortable being associated with.
ZaneMich, there are always going to be people who accuse you of all sorts of things. I for one don't believe any of that, and I think you did your best...but the success of a partnership requires both partners to want it and work for it.
I'm going to follow you on Twitter and I look forward to your next venture.
If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities. -- Voltaire (1694-1778).
Those last couple of pix of you and your glorious ass you posted . . . I know that fuck me! look all too well brother . . . like looking at a hungry child . . . You miss it. You need it. The hard HIM of him deep inside . . .
Last edited by EphGuy; January 13th, 2013 at 06:54 PM.
OH GOD, THEY DID IT AGAIN!!! (Runs to bathroom to vomit) Another new AZ video uploaded. Is it just me or does John Magnum seem like a predator? And who's the creep behind the camera - is it that Tom Moore guy that has been mentioned? ICK ICK ICK!!! Then at the end they ask for positive feedback. Good Luck with THAT!!! A website that once made fans Hot and Happy now make them cringe from the creepiness. Another glaring reminder of how special the real people behind Austin and Zane were.
I shall mourn AGAIN and light a candle in remembrance of what AZ used to be....
I don't think the new guy is bad looking, just not a fan of that kind of nose piercings on a guy.
I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.
latest tease from sexy Zane
Is Zane going to get back into porn?
You could argue that he never left:
There's nothing quite like a HOT, Sexy, Good Hearted, Ohio Guy!
And, Zane certainly qualifies in all of those respects!!
WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me
Ok wow...I don't even know where to start. Everyone might want to skip right over this post and go back to watching some porn because I'm just going to go on a long rant (consisting of a million paragraphs) about everything you already know, sorry in advance...
So thanks for all the updates about the site everyone. I had been wondering for months what was happening with the austinzane site. I should have been checking this forum more regularly and I would have known before now. Clearly I'm months behind on this news. The only reason I finally discovered what happened was because I logged onto Twitter and saw that Zane Michaels was following me. So thank you for that Zane (Jared).
For the past few months I would check the austinzane site occasionally just to see if there was a new update. I was always left disappointed when there would never be a new scene posted that included Austin and Zane. I was starting to grow irritated simply because I only cared about the site because of them. That's what kept me coming back to the site, nothing else, as was the case for many people. I was wondering what the deal was it was obvious from the updates that something was happening behind the scenes. Except whenever I would check the austinzane twitter account nothing was said about any changes to the site so I figured everything must be continuing on. You would think something as big as Zane leaving the site would be posted on the Twitter account or made public. Clearly not. Still I just had that feeling that something wasn't right because last I knew Zane was in the hospital and then nothing, it was like everything changed. Which I know now is accurate...everything had changed.
I am definitely Team Zane in all of this mess, he was always my favorite not only because of the porn but because he seemed genuine and honestly a good guy. I appreciated the fact that he was so open with the fans and always posted on this forum and on twitter. He has responded to my messages many times. Which showed me that he realized he wouldn't be in the position of running a successful site without the fans and that he was appreciative of those fans. He seemed a lot more devoted to the site and the fans than Austin, which once again, has proven now to be accurate. Austin did not communicate with members very well at all. I feel like Zane actually made it a priority and Austin did not. Much respect to Zane for posting here multiple times and sharing his side of what has happened. I will continue to support Zane because from the beginning he has been open and honest about talking with us all.
One thing that is quite odd to me...I don't understand at all why Austin would continue with the site if he didn't put much effort into it when Zane was a part of it. It sounds like he was getting sick of running the site, so why continue after Zane is gone? Doesn't make much sense to me. I do think it's shady that Austin had not sold his share of the company like Zane was lead to believe. However it seems to have backfired anyways since it appears he has now been forced out of the site by the new owners. Maybe you guys know better than me since you have been following the story but has Austin actually addressed everything that has happened or has he completely disappeared into obscurity? I haven't seen any interviews or him acknowledging what went down. You would think that he would at least want to address the fans who have supported him for the past few years about what happened. Has he done so?
I saw that Zane mentioned earlier this month that Austin is no longer involved with the site. It's ridiculous to me that the site has not mentioned at all that Zane and Austin are no longer a part of it. Instead keeping the 'about us' section up like nothing has changed. It seems like most members are aware by now. But it's very misleading to people who may stumble upon the site for the first time and think that Zane and Austin are still affiliated with it. I understand that the owners bought the site and the appeal is the Austin/Zane name and dynamic but how can you just continue on producing videos for the site without addressing the fact that Austin and Zane are gone. I guess that's just the perfect example of what the site has turned into, total crap.
Honestly this whole situation is really unfortunate. The two did have great chemistry which always came across in scenes and seemed authentic. It's disappointing because I was definitely a hardcore fan of them both. I had watched every single one of their scenes that they had filmed together multiple times, even some from SCM. So you could say I was a dedicated fan. I was such a fan that I even created a tumblr fan page for them because there was such a demand for them by the fans. Which will obviously be taken down asap because now there is no reason to be connected at all to the austinzane name. It wasn't only about the porn for me, it was the fact that I really connected with both of them and loved their chemistry together. I never cared to watch any scene that didn't consist of Austin/Zane together. No one else had the chemistry that they shared in those scenes. So it's very unfortunate that their relationship took such a turn for the worst. But I guess that's real life and things are not always what they appear to be. It's good though that Austin and Zane seem to be talking again now, or are at least cordial.
I've unfollowed the austinzane twitter account because I don't care anymore. I'm not interested in the site when Zane isn't on it and the site has majorly went downhill. Even though he is not a part of the site anymore I don't care enough about Austin at this point to continue being a fan. Not that he will care because the fans never seemed to be very important to him anyways. I'm glad that Zane got out when he did. I hope you see this post Zane, I sincerely wish you the best and I will continue to be a fan because you have always been good to me. I hope you're enjoying life in Ohio and taking a step back from all of this to just breathe and get your life back in order.
To anyone who actually read this post, damn you deserve an award and thanks for your time.
There are a bunch of these ex gay4pay porn guys who do general contracting. In addition to Zane, there's CF's Lucas, TommyD, SC's Curtis. They should pool their resources and do a reality show re-modeling rich queens' condos etc. Season One could be "Upper Market", Two Chelsea, etc. Obviously they'll be shirtless most of the time or in denim overalls, like cheesy 70s-80s porn. They don't get naked, though you might see a crack or two like Dan Ackroyd's in the classic SNL "Norge" sketch.
Call it "Tool Guys for the Queer Eye".