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  1. #1
    JUB Addict JUB Admin JUB's Avatar
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    If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Today was an especially sad day for me, the news hit our staff and mods with sadness and honestly left us speechless. I was bullied too as a kid and it was awful, back when I was a teenager there was no internet, message boards or even community centers to get help. I got beat up and picked on constantly, I attempted suicide when I was 18, but I realized that whatever problems I had in my life suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem and would honestly hurt the ones around me more. In this day and age you have many places you can turn to for help. I want to be a part and say: "It does get better!"

    This information age I do see a new light and help is available. If you are under 18 check out http://www.emptyclosets.com.


    The Trevor Project at 866 4U TREVOR. It's a 24-hour, national help line for gay and questioning teens. You can learn more about The Trevor Project at their website: http://www.thetrevorproject.org.

    Angels and Doves is a nationwide anti-bullying non profit organization.
    Their website is http://www.AngelsandDoves.com

    The National Center for Bullying Prevention is helping to promote awareness
    and teach effective ways to respond to bullying. You can learn more about
    them at their website: http://www.Pacer.org/bullying

    The Matthew Shepard Foundation runs Matthew's Place, an online community and resource center for LGBTQ youth. The website is http://www.matthewsplace.com


    If you are thinking about suicide please tell someone. You can also call the suicide prevention life line at 1-800-273-8255.


    Hang in there things will get better.

    Hugs,
    Mark

  2. #2
    JUB Addict AdmiraalW238's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    To the Mods and Admin team of JUB ...

    You have all handled this situation with the dignity it deserves.

    This thread should be made a STICKY and placed at the top of each and every section of JUB.

    To anyone out there who is having trouble with bullying remember that there are places in your local area that you can go.

    And also remember that we JUBBERS will always be here for you as well.

  3. #3
    I want to believe
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    it breaks my heart to hear about all of these suicides and it angers me that its because of bullying.

    i too suffered my share of it and in my darkest times i thought about suicide but for whatever reason that was as far as it went: only a thought, a notion.

    back then there was no where to go. no one to turn to. thank goodness that's not the case now.

    i am praying for those poor souls we've lost lately and in the past and i do hope that anyone who is thinking about suicide will take a moment and find someone and talk things out.




  4. #4
    The gay gargoyle
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I'd like to also point out that we do have a "Coming Out & Relationships" section here at JUB, where people post about whatever issues they're currently facing. Lots of good advice gets dispensed there (no - not just mine), so do check it out.

    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=70

    Lex

  5. #5

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Bravo to Mark and fellow mods for showing that we do care and there are other options.

    My situation is very similar to Mark's. If the internet and todays tech was around in the early 90's, I dunno how I could of handled it.

  6. #6

  7. #7
    ravenstar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    While I know that there are many more American members than there are Australian members I thought I'd put this link up for any of our Australian members who are currently enduring isolation and fear resulting from bullying and homophobia.

    When I was growing up - like Mark - I didn't have the internet, nor any support groups or centres around. I walked the line between living and suicide and came to the same conclusion Mark did that suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Today there are many places that can help you to deal with your fears and isolation.

    As Addmiral said, there are many people on this forum who are happy to extend a hand and help out, but if you want to speak to someone or you need to find some information and you're in Australia here are some great resources that can help you.

    http://www.comingout.com.au/

    http://glrl.org.au/

    Gay & Lesbain Telephone Counselling Service

    PFlag Australia

    http://www.pinkpagesnet.com

    Lifeline

  8. #8
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I'd like to share my own personal story here. If it'll help one person see things differently, then it's worth posting.
    Dallas Pride - 9.21.2014
    I. Can't. Wait.

  9. #9
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Please remember:

    You are not alone. There are more gay people around than you might think. Make use of the resources posted here. Create an account and post your trouble in Coming Out & Relationships.

    "This too shall pass."

  10. #10

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I remember being in junior high and having a bully kid punch me very hard in the chest. Almost caused my heart to stop (or felt like it at the time) since it was unexpected punch and very very hard. He probably was bullying me since I liked to hang out with a few guys who were known to be gay. Looking back, it's one of the seminal events of my childhood that sticks out. It didn't break me; I can't even remember crying at the time. I do remember the pain in my chest lasted for days. Fact is, I never shared the story with anyone else (not my parents nor any friends). I didn't tell anyone for fear the questions it might raise about my own life and sexuality. Also, there was a worry that telling someone might eventually backfire on me. I'm sure Tyler Clementi had some of the same thoughts. Why he did commit suicide, though, I don't know. It doesn't appear he let the process work itself out. Or perhaps he felt they didn't care. Such a sad ending. I cried when I heard the story. For my own situation, though, I made the big mistake. Gaybashers need to be stopped, reported and held accountable for their actions. Left unstopped, gaybashers learn they can get away with things and move on to higher crimes. We all need to speak up, be strong and not be afraid to report injustices and crimes against us. Tyler apparently did speak up but for some reason the administration or sensitives at Rutgers fell short of being supportive. RIP Tyler.
    Last edited by cowtipper9; October 1st, 2010 at 09:49 PM. Reason: left out stuff

  11. #11
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Wow... This is really amazing. I really admire the staff for doing this. It shows me how strong this small community is. I'm emotional right now because I'm so glad I ever got to this forum where I was able to meet such nice people who really support and care of one another.

    Great work. And hopefully this thread will change a kid's life, so we don't have to suffer any more suicides because of the society's prejudice about the way we are.

  12. #12
    JUB Addict cocksucker4use's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    A couple of guys from my high school killed themselves, and I am guessing it was around gay issues. I was very closeted and afraid in our small midwestern town and battled depression myself, but fortunately overcame. I recall that Bob, a couple of years older than me, somehow sought me out when he was back from school that summer. I remember going out with him for coffee and having a long talk with him. I often wondered later if he wanted to talk about being gay or bi or whatever. Tom was in my class and I had always been in school with him, but did not know him. It is good that there is a heightened awareness of this issue and that hopefully young guys...and older ones, too....will have access to resources and not die needlessly.

  13. #13
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I commend the mods and would tell anyone that there are many wonderful people to help even when you think life is darkest.

    In the winter of 2004 and into the spring of 2005 I, too, was struggling with my sexuality. I had lived a lie for many years and because of the death of a loved one, was thinking perhaps life was not worth living. I knew I was gay but could not or did not know how to admit it.

    I found JUB quite by accident while searching for gay forums. Those on this site helped me get comfortable with myself, helped me as I made my first steps into the gay world and have been here since. I've met both in person and online with wonderful individuals who convinced me that dying may mask the present but would not allow me to experience the great future that was in store.

    I am now out, have a loving family, and will marry the man of my dreams this spring!

    When you think every door has been closed behind you, sometimes you find that instead a window has now been opened; it is sometimes hard to find that window in the depths of darkness but there are those here who will hold the flashlight!

  14. #14
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^

    Beautiful Story! Thanks for sharing that.

  15. #15
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    If you are from the United Kingdom then please consider the following

    http://www.papyrus-uk.org/
    " UK resources and support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress – particularly teenagers and young adults."
    www.samaritans.org
    UK 08457 909090
    ROI 1850 609090

    "We don't know when you might need us.

    That's why we're open 24 hours a day.

    Samaritans provides confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide."
    www.studentdepression.org
    "The site has been developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are included on the site."
    http://www.nightline.ac.uk/Home.aspx
    "Nightline is a listening, emotional support, information and supplies service, run by students for students and open at night when few other services are available. "
    If you live in other countries outside of the US or UK, then please visit the following for more information about support services closer to you.

    http://www.befrienders.org/
    "We work worldwide to provide emotional support, and reduce suicide. We listen to people who are in distress. We don't judge them or tell them what to do - we listen."
    You may also like to consider our own JUB help forums or advice and suggestions from our own JUB community.

    Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk
    Health & Wellbeing


  16. #16
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Was bullied for not being in with jock crowd back in high school.

    The events of past weeks show how the flames of intolerance, hate and bigots add to bulling of one who is gay.

  17. #17
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    There are tears streaming down my face right now. Thank you all for your links for help! I wish I had this support when I was a Teen. I am still haunted by the cruel actions of my High School Classmates, but I have to admit, IT DID GET BETTER! I have had numerous apologies by the "Jocks" and other "Popular" kids, since Graduation. The ones who belittled me the most, are now my friends. High School is a tough place to "come out", but I was lucky. And I wouldn't change a thing..Would I recommend coming out in High School?..I would recommend that you be true to yourself..It can get rough, but as long as you have your true friends to support you, you will be ok...Kick Ass! and take names later!!

  18. #18

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I've just read some news about a guy being bullied and committing suicide. And people got exasperated at these things happening in schools. It really hit me as well. Feeling so sorry for them...

  19. #19
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    To all French-Canadian victims of bullying
    À l'intention des canadiens-français victimes de bullying:

    Gai-Écoute http://www.gai-ecoute.qc.ca/

  20. #20
    JohannBessler
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    It happened to me, too. Being bullied in middle school, for days that turned into weeks, then months, then years. It was my own private war, and I feel like a war veteran.

    The worst of it came when a bunch of guys grabbed my arms so I couldn't move, and began to "chastise" me. One punch, right after another, on my chest. Not enough to cause damage, just enough to cause pain. Over and over.

    Then there was the time I was kicked, over and over, for dropping the ball. Was it my fault that I'm effectively one-eyed?

    (My eyes are wet right now. I've never told anyone, not even here on JUB, until now. No one.)

    Sometimes, in bad moments, these memories come back to haunt me, like some kind of cancer that just won't die away. The scars will never heal.

    But most of the time, I feel fine. It does get better. The private war ends, and we Privates are demobilized. We pick up our lives, which do get better. Then I reconnect with that sense of wonder, of excitement of the opportunities I have. What project am I going to work out, today? Scars or no scars, that sense of excitement over future wonders never fails to surface.

    If anybody being bullied reads this, remember: it really does get better. I promise.

  21. #21
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Thinking back to my suicidal time after coming out, I'm not sure "It gets better" would have had any meaning at all for me then. "Hey -- I'll buy you a drink!" had a lot more affirmative content to it, in that frame of mind. I would have dismissed "It gets better" as some ploy by those without the problem to wish mine away.

    Pondering that, I'll venture that far more effective to me would have been, "That's not the whole world", or maybe, "There's a whole different world". That's a thought that attaches in my memory to the day I almost skipped up the steps of the Red Cap bar in Portland with the feeling I was coming home: that world where sex itself was evil, and even wanting sex with other guys was a sort of slimy wickedness (or wicked sliminess) that even Hell finds disgusting, was not the whole world, in fact two steps more and I'd be in a world where admitting I liked guys brought smiles and even hugs.

    Now, I suppose that qualifies as "getting better". But it wouldn't be what those words would have meant; I would have heard them just as after my first Christmas out the family walked out on me, and someone said, "They'll come around". The fact is, they haven't come around, and even if they had, I was totally certain at the time that they never would. "It gets better" says, "The world you're in will change", when for many, many of us the world we were in just had to be ditched, because it wasn't going to change, ever, at all, in anyway. Raising an expectation that bullying small-minded religious bigots are going to become different can actually drive someone the wrong direction, because it just says, "No one really understands".

    And what needs to be understood is that some worlds out there are not, to use a theme from my JUB story, fit for life: they need to die. Killing one's self removes one's self from that world, but it isn't the death that's needed -- the death that needs to happen is that of a world that believes that there are people who aren't fit for life.

    So the message in many cases shouldn't be "It gets better", but "There's another world out here". Where I was, that's a line that would have caught my attention and given me hope.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  22. #22
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^ Or, better, a mixture of both messages. The above post shows that the "It gets better" message won't be received and heeded by everybody, but on the other hand I don't really gather that yuou're saying that such a message would have had a negative effect on you. I think you're only saying that you would have dismissed it and not really noticed it.

    That being said (and am I correct?), that means that the "It gets better" message is likely to have one of only two outcomes on those who hear it:

    1. The person receiving the message will dismiss it, or it will have no effect on his/her thoughts, or
    2. The person receiving the message will heed it, and act on it, and realize there are people who care, and the person takes that ball and runs with it.

    The "It gets better" project, though its main focus is on antigay bullying of youth, can be applied to many other things in life as well.

    The same, Kulindahr, is true of the "There's another world out here" message. Chances are good that, if one of the messages doesn't resonate, the other one will. Or both will. The messages may resonate only subconsciously, but that has a way of working good changes as well.

    That guy who emotionally delivered his message in an otherwise ordinary and probably boring City Council meeting in Texas on the 12th has undoubtedly saved some lives with his message. I heard today on Sirius OutQ that his delivery has now had more than one million views. No doubt some of the viewers have been anti-gay people who have, perhaps for the first time in their lifetimes, been made aware of the pain that their bigotry can cause. As I said in another thread, an editorial or message of that level of importance reaches the public only once every few years.
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  23. #23
    JohannBessler
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I think the "it will get better" message means a lot more when it comes from someone who's been a victim, himself (or herself).

    When it comes from somebody else—say Hillary Clinton—it's nice, but it doesn't carry the ring of authenticity.

  24. #24
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    I think the "it will get better" message means a lot more when it comes from someone who's been a victim, himself (or herself).

    When it comes from somebody else—say Hillary Clinton—it's nice, but it doesn't carry the ring of authenticity.
    Good point. It's like when I was going through a period when I was utterly certain that if my life ended, intelligent beings several galaxies over would suddenly find that existence was more pleasant, and someone said, "I understand what you're going through" -- my response boiled down to "STFU -- you're so clueless, you make me sick". What did get through to me was "You look miserable. You sound miserable. I can't imagine being that miserable, and I'm not sure I want to. But I'm here, if that helps."
    Last edited by Kulindahr; October 22nd, 2010 at 12:18 PM. Reason: spelling

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  25. #25
    On the Prowl RyanE23's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Hey,

    I'm not sure if I can post this here since it is a YouTube link, and it is a bit long, but it deals with the "It Gets Better" message.

    It is a City Council meeting in Texas, and the man speaking is the head of it, I believe.

    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4&feature=player_embedded[/ame]

    PS- Pass it on to others.

  26. #26
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I'd add to what he said, "To you adults whose attitudes tell kids bullying is fine -- stuff it back somewhere hidden, because it's evil. To you adults who encourage the beliefs and attitudes that make kids think bullying is okay -- stop. Stop being evil, stop sponsoring hatred, stop sponsoring this wickedness.
    "God did not make our children to die before they really lived. If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem, and no matter what religion you are, God -- does -- not -- approve. If you convey to your children that gays or others who are different belong in or are headed for hell, I tell you that you are far closer than they are. If you cannot love others as you would like to be loved or as you love yourself, if you cannot love other people and their children as you want your children to be loved, I just have one thing to say: get out of the way, grow up, and learn to love."

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  27. #27
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Bullying in school should be treated the same way as assault. Bullying which involves actual hitting should be considered to be assault and battery.

    Penalties for children are usually less than penalties for similar adult crimes...but sometimes recalcitrant teens are tried as adults. If the message gets out to teens that they may be sent to "juvie" if they keep this stuff up, maybe-just-maybe a lot of it would stop.
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  28. #28

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I appreciate the responses, as someone who has and is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts this resonates in every part of my soul. While I maybe within the minority here this total outcry of support and sharing of sources has actually worsened my depression and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I get the feeling that being suicide is trendy and that everyone goes though it. I guess I'm still harboring some resentment toward the it gets better campaign. A magic fairy doesn't just pop out of the sky and make it better, it is a fight for your very life. I struggle every day and for someone to tell me it will just get better is a fucking joke.

  29. #29
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by getserviced10 View Post
    I appreciate the responses, as someone who has and is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts this resonates in every part of my soul. While I maybe within the minority here this total outcry of support and sharing of sources has actually worsened my depression and suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I get the feeling that being suicide is trendy and that everyone goes though it. I guess I'm still harboring some resentment toward the it gets better campaign. A magic fairy doesn't just pop out of the sky and make it better, it is a fight for your very life. I struggle every day and for someone to tell me it will just get better is a fucking joke.


    I know the "struggle every day" trip. For long stretches I was certain that if I were gone, intelligent beings on the far side of the galaxy would sudden;y wonder why life was brighter. For longer stretches I just wanted things to stop.

    The first is silly, the second unworkable.

    And that was before I realized my own identity -- so I can't begin to imagine the horror of dealing with that at a much younger age.


    That and what I bolded is why I criticized the "it gets better" bit. My inclination was to ask, even in my current situation, "When?"

    My message is different: There's another world. You maybe can't see it from where you are, but it's there. You may get glimpses from afar, and wonder if it's just a mirage -- 'fear not'; it's there. You may be in a world where you see no way out, but that doesn't negate the truth that there is another world.
    All you have to do is hang on. How long? I don't know; for me it was longer than it should have been, by decades. For you, I can't predict, but I'll say to be ready for a long haul. How hard will it be? Again, I don't know; the only one who can really measure that is you, but when you're in misery no objective assessment is possible.
    But I can tell you one thing about that: you can make it. You are good enough, and tough enough, to make it.
    And I can tell you one thing about that, too: there are a lot of us here in that other world who have been through our own hells to get here. We're rooting for you, even if we haven't met you. And we aren't planning on surrendering this world to the haters and bigots and primitive minds that think they know it all when in fact their heads only have room for their narrow view of the universe. We're here, and we aren't going anywhere, and we're waiting for you. When you make it out of your world into the real world, we'll be here, and we'll welcome you.

    (to borrow an old phrase) Keep on keeping on.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  30. #30
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^ Great post, Kulindahr. I couldn't have said it better myself.

  31. #31
    Sex God PlazaPeej's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I just wanted to add to this thread that we at Pink Triangle Theatre are truly making waves here in the UK with our very passionate and powerful SHOW ONE!

    We are four gay guys, two couples, and the show is written from our own experiences and from those we have read about, heard about or seen for ourselves.

    The performance is only 30 minutes long but covers everything from Parents guiding their children towards certain toys, to homophobia in the media and out on the streets, and even covers heterophobia.

    It really is making waves, but much more than the show, the discussion workshops we hold afterwards are [proving to be extremely powerful and even groundbreaking. We open ourselves up to any and all questions from the audience. These workshops often run on for way over an hour and people, especially young people really appreciate the chance to have their questions answered.

    We are hoping to take the show and workshops overseas when we can, and do offer resources and advice on our website.

    Yes, it really does get better. x

  32. #32
    On the Prowl MIJ-VI's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Youth Suicide Prevention Website
    <http://www.youthsuicide.ca/>

  33. #33
    pittguy
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    So what happens if you are a bully who is suicidal? Do they get treatment?

    You know some bullies are gay, but don't know how to cope with it.

    Just sayin'

  34. #34
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^
    Good point. When you don't want to face what you are, bullying those like you to demonstrate (first to yourself) that you aren't is a powerful route.

    It's also dangerous.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  35. #35
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    9. I remember when I was a child, I had a cousin Glenn. No one spoke of him “aloud”. He was no longer part of the family. I was to be the next Glenn. I grew up on a farm so I was able to fight and defend myself from the people who accused me of being a ”fag.” I remember the “You’re so gay.” Years later, I remember having only gay friends as defense mechanism. Come to think it before you think of suicide, you’re welcome here 72425605879

  36. #36
    On the Prowl MIJ-VI's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    First off, I would like to thank those who've posted suicide prevention and other help links in this thread. Said links have formed the nucleus of this growing thread of LGBT-related help & awareness.

    Next, I would like to draw everyone's attention to this well done and informative video. Though it pre-dates the repeal of DADT its articulate message is still pertinent:

    If you live in Toronto then please sign this petition. I did!
    http://gayrights.change.org/blog/vie..._youth_shelter

  37. #37
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    I'd like to share my own personal story here. If it'll help one person see things differently, then it's worth posting.
    And a follow-up commentary on how things actually have gotten better for me. I hope this helps someone.
    Dallas Pride - 9.21.2014
    I. Can't. Wait.

  38. #38
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    suicide is a horrible thing.... no-one is ever truly alone no matter how dark it is...

  39. #39
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Don't let bullies get to you Let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back

  40. #40
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperNatural55 View Post
    Don't let bullies get to you Let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back
    That takes lots of practice.

    Until then -- come here and scream.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  41. #41
    JohannBessler
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperNatural55 View Post
    Don't let bullies get to you Let it roll off you like water off a duck’s back
    Kinda hard to do when you're being physically assaulted, Super.

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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by spyro2001207 View Post
    suicide is a horrible thing.... no-one is ever truly alone no matter how dark it is...

    I wouldn't bet any large sums of money on that premise...

  43. #43
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    Kinda hard to do when you're being physically assaulted, Super.
    Good point.

    As a gal of my acquaintance discovered when a guy was making a near-successful attempt to rape her, what's most effective to let "roll off" at that point is a pair of rounds from your little snub-nosed .38 -- after which, you can let your attacker "roll off" you, stand up, and scream "Goddammitsomeonecall911!" . . . and hope the sorry bastard moves toward you so you can shoot him again.

    She hated herself for that feeling. I told her not to: it was a mother's instinct wanting the world to have one less disgusting disgrace to the species lurking out there to do other women harm in the future.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  44. #44
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by spyro2001207 View Post
    suicide is a horrible thing.... no-one is ever truly alone no matter how dark it is...
    Quote Originally Posted by birddog7 View Post
    I wouldn't bet any large sums of money on that premise...
    I have to agree with birddog. Unless you've been suicidal, in the deep, dark, deadly cold of being a million miles distant from the nearest objects which are so close they're painful, that's easy to say -- but also repeatedly shown to be wrong in practice. I tie it to the line, "If only he'd said something...", because more than nine times out of ten, 'he' did say something, but it was ignored through the device of pretending 'he' didn't mean it.

    Not many people really want to believe anyone they know could possibly be suicidal, that the world can have grown so dark and unbearable that the only way out seems to be death, for anyone they consider a friend. So they reinterpret warnings, overlook plain cries for help, give pat, "Oh, you don't really mean that", responses (which is a darned good way to kick someone closer to suicide!) I've known a half dozen people who killed themselves, and four who tried but failed, and their experiences matched mine: we hollered, and people dodged. We were, in fact, very, very alone, because the people closest to us ran our words through their filters and heard, "I'm having some problems, and could use some help, if you happen to have the time."

    "Oh, but he didn't say he was going to kill himself!" Yeah, big defense. That tells me you've made no attempt to understand. Listen: a suicidal person already has so little self-esteem left he doesn't want anything to knock him lower. If he comes flat out and says it, he's risking you not believing it, or -- something astoundingly and despicably common -- making light of it. Those are natural psychological defense mechanisms, and he knows it, so he's not going to risk getting kicked in the emotional balls by being blatant. He is hoping that maybe, you really are his friend; friends, see, understand, so if you're really a friend, you'll get it even if it isn't direct, and he won't be alone, and he can get past the moment and fight another day -- but if you don't get it, then you weren't really a friend, in which case he's very, very glad he didn't come right out and say it, because you would have rejected him, which he couldn't have handled.

    Suicidal people holler for help. They holler because they want someone to step out and say, "You're not alone". And your job is to say it -- not on words, but in actions. If you're on the phone, you hang up. If you're watching a movie, you turn it off. If you're in the middle of a final, you walk out. If you're at work, you leave. If you're cooking dinner, you turn off the kitchen. And in all cases, you go, and you do not leave your friend alone until he says he's okay -- and then you leave him with another friend.


    Can't see it from that perspective? Work on it -- it could be your friend next: be ready.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  45. #45
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Us boys have to start giving our strength to one another, and helping as well as loving each other for being who we are. If ANYONE is reading this, and is feeling sad, suicidal, or dealing with something overwhelming, PLEASE PM me, and I will be more than happy to email/IM/or even talk on the phone with you.
    You are all so beautiful, and strong. Don't let the bullies of this world get you down.
    WE ALL HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED. Some more than others. This is a fantastic site, and I thank God that it is here.

    I love you all.

  46. #46
    Travisevian
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Mark, thank you for sharing this and I hope this thread has helped and continues to help those in need.

  47. #47
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    In regard to feeling suicidal... I can relate to that. I would like to, if I may... share a thought with you all.

    Last year, my partner went missing. He went out one evening, telling me he was going to get some milk from the petrol station, and would be right back. It was gone 1am so I just thought "ok" as he has done this before, and the petrol station is about 5 mins away by car.

    3am arrived... no sign. It got to 9am in the morning, and I was frantic with worry, as this was unusual for my partner not to come home. I tried to keep myself busy with housework to take my mind off things, and kept thinking to myself "maybe he fell asleep in the car at the petrol stations car park?"

    His parents both tried to phone here looking for him as they usually do on a daily basis. I had to tell them the news. After a conference call (and it was now 6pm) I decided on calling in the Police. They turned up, asked questions, searched the house, etc... and left. At 8pm an officer turned up, and yet another search on the house. I explained it had already been done, but to only meet ingorance. I was very depressed, upset and close to breaking down.

    10am the next day, a couple of officers arrived at my door, and I assumed the worst. But, turns out they wanted to search the house

    Anyhow, by this time, I had really had enough... I felt I could not go on any more, and overdosed. I was rushed into our local hospital and was kept in overnight. It was only then that the Police really noticed how frantic I was.

    Take some advice from someone who knows how it feels.... TALK to someone. Do you have a close friend, neighbour, teacher, mentor, etc? If not, the Samaritans can help. I was lucky enough to survive, but am paying for it now as I still suffer from bad health. And to top it all off, I have a permanant problem with my spine.

    Remember everyone at JUB is here for you too... and I for one wish to thank both the Admins, and Moderators for making everyone feel welcome and safe. Thanks guys

  48. #48
    Porn Star jknightuk's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quick note: forgot to mention he had gone missing for 6 weeks. He did come back, and confessed he had been in Brighton. Although he wont tell me why.

  49. #49
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^ That was quite a touching story, jknight! *hug*

    I'm very happy that your story had a happy ending, on both counts.

  50. #50
    JohannBessler
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by jknightuk View Post
    Quick note: forgot to mention he had gone missing for 6 weeks. He did come back, and confessed he had been in Brighton. Although he wont tell me why.
    I feel angry for you, JK.

    The kindest way I can put it is that if that were to happen to me, explanations from the other person would have been demanded.

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