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  1. #51
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by JohannBessler View Post
    I feel angry for you, JK.

    The kindest way I can put it is that if that were to happen to me, explanations from the other person would have been demanded.
    Kind indeed.

    Someone who pulled that on me would find his stuff boxed on the porch, with a note to the effect that since he didn't say where he was going, I won't say why I did it.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  2. #52
    Porn Star jknightuk's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    In all honesty, folks... I'm not sure where exactly I stand with him. I can't move out as I have no family (long story which I would rather avoid... still upsetting for me to talk about), no real friends so cant stay with anyone.

    I'm stuck with a man who says he loves, and cares about me... yet I have never felt so damn alone in my entire life.

    Oh crikey... I'm posting all this in the wrong area, aren't I? I offer my apologies to the original topic starter

  3. #53
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    [QUOTE=maxer343;6805781]9. I remember when I was a child, I had a cousin Glenn. No one spoke of him “aloud”. He was no longer part of the family. I was to be the next Glenn. I grew up on a farm so I was able to fight and defend myself from the people who accused me of being a ”fag.” I remember the “You’re so gay.” Years later, I remember having only gay friends as defense mechanism.\ Come to think it before you think of suicide, you’re welcome here 7242560579

  4. #54
    Slut maxer343's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    you're safe here.
    Last edited by quasar; September 28th, 2011 at 01:18 PM.

  5. #55
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    aww thanks to everyone posting help lines

  6. #56

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    It's not easy being bullied. Despite the obvious reasons, like being on the wrong end of a joke, insult, or a group laugh, being bullied takes a toll on the self-esteem. Those that have been bullied know better than anyone that it picks at you until you can't take it any more. And worst yet, even if you told someone, who would understand?

    The fact is there are plenty of people who do understand and are willing to help. But first you have to reach out and tell them what's going on. Worried about their reaction? Start with your closest support system (a friend, sister, brother, parent, or teacher).

  7. #57
    Sex God AndrewC88's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I was bullied when I was kid and it did get better...amongst every other hardship in life. IT DID GET BETTER.

  8. #58

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    llllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  9. #59

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    When I was at boarding school I had my first experience with a guy who went on to bully me for 3 years until he was finally expelled. I was angry with the school for letting it go on soo long. I found out via facebook that he died last year but no one will tell me how he died but I think he drank himself to death, he was aged 26. He never did come out as I saw some homophobic Facebook wall posts nor did he ever talk to me again. Another guy who also bullied me at school hung himself a few years ago aged 20. Not sure what he was though I never remember him having a girl. They were both physically violent. When I was in college, I finally came out in my second year, all my friends supported me bar 1 who turned his back completley on me. He wrapped his car around a tree aged 21 and died instantly 2 years ago. I did attempt suicide aged 14 and my friend who caught me said to me "don't die a virgin" lol. I'm glad I was caught and never tried that again.

  10. #60
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^ wow. there are some pretty "interesting" stories in there. Sounds like people who fuck with you in some way don't end up very well at all.

  11. #61

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    ^ wow. there are some pretty "interesting" stories in there. Sounds like people who fuck with you in some way don't end up very well at all.
    lol I wasn't responsible for what happened to the guys mentioned in my post. I guess two were unhappy and one was unlucky! But it does also show that life is too short, we should enjoy it while we can.

  12. #62
    color outside the lines
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    The holidays can be the toughest time of year for many...

    Suicide Makes the Puzzle Incomplete

    http://www.cuemagazines.com/2011/11/...le-incomplete/

    Thank goodness the definition of marriage does change over time. Women were originally thought of as property and marriage was originally about an exchange of property.

    "When you can't hide, discrimination falls." David Boies

  13. #63

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Gay men: You're being bullied because you're bullying them. Your very existence threatens them. You are naturally different and have different brains so that's why they pick on you so much. It's their way of trying to handle it.

    Acting like a victim 24/7 about it helps nobody. If you weren't scaring the shit out of them, they wouldn't be trying to scare the shit out of you. Gay men are naturally bullied... how else could I relate so much to what you're saying? And you're all gay like me.

    I was treated so badly in high school, like ones of the worst ones. And I hear soooo many gay men report EXACTLY the same thing.

    I never let it make me suicidal though or anything. So that's why I think suicide isn't related to this issue and if a gay teen is suicidal it's more to do with the fact that he has non-supportive parents. My parents are supportive.

  14. #64
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by slnattak View Post
    Gay men: You're being bullied because you're bullying them. Your very existence threatens them. You are naturally different and have different brains so that's why they pick on you so much. It's their way of trying to handle it.

    Acting like a victim 24/7 about it helps nobody. If you weren't scaring the shit out of them, they wouldn't be trying to scare the shit out of you. Gay men are naturally bullied... how else could I relate so much to what you're saying? And you're all gay like me.

    I was treated so badly in high school, like ones of the worst ones. And I hear soooo many gay men report EXACTLY the same thing.

    I never let it make me suicidal though or anything. So that's why I think suicide isn't related to this issue and if a gay teen is suicidal it's more to do with the fact that he has non-supportive parents. My parents are supportive.
    Our mere existence "bullies them"?

    That's ludicrous. They're not harmed by our existence, not disturbed at all except in their own minds. The only bullying going on with them is what they are doing to themselves -- deluding themselves that there's a threat, and purely fantasizing that there's some sort of harm.

    Gay guys, the ones bullying you don't count as people. They're behaving with their hindbrains, like animals. They're beneath you -- so don't let it get to you.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  15. #65
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    This thread is reminding me that I can be nicer to people. You never know what they're going through.

  16. #66

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I hate bullying. It pisses me off so much when i see people bully other people

  17. #67
    JUB Addict mikey3000's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    AS a married guy with a wonderful wife and two little kids, realising my need for male affection was devastating for me. Suicide was (and still sometimes is) a daily thought. Would my family be better off without me? But in the last year I've had two suicides hit close to home and I've learned how truly devasting suicide is. I'm comming to terms with my sexuality a little more every day and learning how to fit it in to my current situation. But still, every day is a struggle.

  18. #68
    On the Prowl xxxMAD376xxx's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I'm just so sick of hearing about LGBT suicides! I can't stand the fact that we don't make more of an effort to fight back! I'm also sick to death of the "Turn the other cheek" approach! It obviously DOSE'NT WORK! Let's try "Fight fire with fire", or "Eye for an eye"! Let's see some of those nazi scum kill themselves! Yes I'm filled with rage. I've been filled with rage my whole life because I'm less than & second class to the government & "society". What I don't understand is how calm everyone else can be during a time like this! I'm not always like this, but it just kills me every time I see that another brother or sister has fallen to hate.
    M.A.D.

  19. #69

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    OMG this really bothers me that people committed suicide cause of bullies, smh this is terrible

  20. #70
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by nathanielby View Post
    OMG this really bothers me that people committed suicide cause of bullies, smh this is terrible
    Be glad that people pay attention now. When I was a swimming instructor, one of my students didn't show up one day. He'd finally had enough of "getting picked on" at school, was the guess; at any rate, he went and hung himself from a tree.

    No one talked about it. It was hushed up. I was told to never mention it. The staff at the Y pretended it never happened.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  21. #71
    here2day
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxMAD376xxx View Post
    I'm just so sick of hearing about LGBT suicides! I can't stand the fact that we don't make more of an effort to fight back! I'm also sick to death of the "Turn the other cheek" approach! It obviously DOSE'NT WORK! Let's try "Fight fire with fire", or "Eye for an eye"! Let's see some of those nazi scum kill themselves! Yes I'm filled with rage. I've been filled with rage my whole life because I'm less than & second class to the government & "society". What I don't understand is how calm everyone else can be during a time like this! I'm not always like this, but it just kills me every time I see that another brother or sister has fallen to hate.
    Would you truly become what you hate?

    Don't you know the damage done 'inside' those who hate, and so much more those who ACT upon it, bringing their WRONG, ABERANT, CREEPY thoughts into reality?

    Please

    PLEASE

    Struggle to see, grow, grow beyond the ignorance, the false certainty that lesser, dead-inside human beings cling to.

    It's not a travesty. It's childish stupidity.

    Those who love life and long for a better world must LIVE, and take a stand with ALL LIKE MINDED HUMAN BEINGS, gay, straight, questioning, who cares...

    All who love LIFE, must LIVE to preserve and protect one another (and the little ones we share this world with.)

    Hate.... worse than useless, those who channel their hate into action, poison and polute us all.

    DO NO BECOME POLUTED.

    Love is no panacea, but it is a start, the beginning from which comes a Way to becoming what we all should strive to be, GOOD HUMAN BEINGS.

    Never perfect, only struggling, failing, learning from the failure, and trying anew, to be better.

    Swim in the sesspool of the least of men? No thank you, I can do better and so can you.


    Forget gay/straight, leave it at Good Human Being, and you're on the right track. We are ALL in this together. One small world for all to share. Those who dream of space, another place... their dreams will not come true--we are made of and for this world, there is no suitable place for us, NO OTHER. Protect and preserve it, cherish it, and ALL EXPRESSIONS OF LIFE upon it. LOVE LIFE, LIVE, LIVE, and make it better for the little ones who come after you by your struggle.

    It is NOT too much to bear. It only seems that way, when you feel alone.

    TRUTH, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    more TRUTH, WE NEED YOU HERE --NOW-- MORE THAN EVER!!!

  22. #72

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Jason you're post seems pretty down. Call this number if you need help.

    Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
    Evil Lyn

  23. #73
    Thankfully Liberal & Gay
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Jason, you have found a place here where there are a lot of [unseen] people who care about you and wish you the best possible kind of life, and I'm one of those. Do you have hobbies or other things which keep you busy, such as gaming, spending time with media, etc.? Are you "fulltime or mostly" working and/or in school? Being busy with things doesn't solve the underlying issue, but it can break the vicious circle of worrying about things and having that become a cycle which grows by feeding on itself.

    Just ask, and there are people here who will gladly talk to you, perhaps even on the phone, as well as there being other general resources which are quoted through this thread.

    Last edited by frankfrank; June 1st, 2012 at 05:39 PM.
    "All legal U. S. residents who are 18 years or older, shall have an unconditional right to vote." - We need a 28th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution which resembles this...NOW!

    VOTING: Just remember: "Be careful of what you DON'T wish for. You might just get it." GET OUT AND VOTE for what you DO wish for.

    "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" - Susan B. Anthony

  24. #74

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Stopping bullying is simple:

    don't have people with such vastly different psychological perceptions in the same building. That's madness, that's insanity. We should be able to interact with people that we are free to interact with. Nothing good comes out of forcing anybody to do anything.

    school is a lie, the knowledge you get is worthless... and the socialization doesn't work for the kids who are actually smart and compassionate.

    If people would just listen to me the world would be better off but obviously somebody 'up there' likes to see so many people tortured and in pain. Whoever it is, it's certainly the world's biggest asshole.

    Yes, you don't have to remind me that evil is fought primarily within. I already know that and spend much of my time meditating and conquering my own inner demons. That is why I am one of the leaders of humanity. Om!

  25. #75
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^
    Better, reduce the size of schools. It's been shown repeatedly that schools where everyone knows everyone else, students learn better, learn social skills better, have more self-esteem, and engage less in bullying.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  26. #76

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Life is what we make it.

    When we are back-slapping 'HAPPY' stupid apes, lost in lies (what are lies? assertions with no foundation -- these are lies; contorted rhetoric mascerading as reasonable thought, leading to (sadly) usually lies, but just to mess with us at times truth.

    Why do I care SO much for the WAY gay dudes? I am one, but I love all life.

    I do not understand but a persistent truth reverberates, one not understood WHICH CAN NOT BE IGNORED--YOU are important, vitally important to our survival.


    Sure, most are shallow and foolish, but those who love, struggle, do not fit into the insane 'perfect' order -- YOU ARE LOVED AND MUST LIVE!!!

    YOU ARE NECESSARY. I'm sorry your lives are so hard.
    ___

    It gets better? No, not unless you grow, struggle and change. It sucks. It's life, and you are MORE alive than most. I'm sorry, and I love you, what more can I say. YOU ARE NEEDED FOR ALL, in some strange impossible way I do not fully understand. Not your suffering, YOUR GROWTH! YOU BECOME MORE. YOU LIGHT UP THIS WORLD. YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE...

    I don't know what I'm trying to say... except YOU ARE LOVED AND LOVABLE. Can't you see that in one another? Not blindly, never that, just... live and love. Make this horrible world, this horrible humanity BETTER!!!!

    YOU CAN DO THIS! Only by living can you do this, NEVER in dieing. We all die. FUCK that.

    LIFE is too hard, FAR too ALL-ENCOMPASSING. Who has time to ponder death? Only those already dead inside, those who fear death and hate life. NOT YOU!

    LIVE!!!

  27. #77

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I miss my partner of 7 years so much all I think about lately is offing myself. In the last 6 months I've thought more about suicide than my entire life. I have no one to blame but myself. I knew what I was doing when I tried to drink myself to death. Now all I have is regret and sorrow.

    Ron if you can forgive me it would literally save my life.

  28. #78
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Having never had a partner, I can't really comment on the pain. But I have tried suicide, and afterward realized something: there may be future joys in my future, but if I take away that future by killing myself, I'll never find out.

    Don't rob yourself that way.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  29. #79

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    This is lovely....but I have to respectfully ask...I'm a little puzzled how the gay community can position itself as being so concerned for our bullied and hurt gay youth yet.....in every other thread there's posters making generalizations, bashing, belittling, berating, judging, and really demonizing FEMININE gay men. And it happens everywhere in the gay community. No, not wanting to sleep with a fem gay man is not my example of femmephobia. But assuming bitchy automatically means fem (it doesn't, and bitchy or mean is not exclusive to being fem) or going out of your way to make our feminine gay brothers feel ostracized and ridiculed (which some posters seem to...and with pride, and when confronted, say "grow a pair!")....

    I mean isn't that counter productive to this whole "we're so concerned about bullied gay youth?"

    Let's keep it really real now...really really real.......which gay youth do you think are more prone to getting bullied? or better yet, what do you think is the typical day of a young gay kid who is inherently fem?

    If you're so concerned about his well being....how about in a few years when he turns 18, and is still inherently fem (not bitchy, not mean, but simply fem) and has to be met with an onslaught of "uhh, stereotypical fem f*gs are just embarrassing. They give us all a bad name! Freak shows!"....and those things are coming at them from....GAY people.

    The irony always puzzles me. And this isn't addressed to all, but some.

  30. #80
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?

  31. #81
    Bammer's Papa
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Florent View Post
    Nothing written makes sense. Put some thoughts together - please. Your scattered - is there a point?
    I read the whole page above this and couldn't figure out who it's addressed to. Care to enlighten us?

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  32. #82
    Slut richanth's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    i just wish that my depresion didnt also make it as hard as it is too no matter what i do i cant stop thinking of somthing i dont want to do

  33. #83
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

  34. #84
    Huntneo(PT)
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Praxus View Post
    I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I haven't been feeling the best about some things (for different reasons) on my end as well, but what keeps me sane (and going) is knowing that things can change for the better in an instant. I know exactly what you mean about trying to put on a smile while you feel like shit inside. Tomorrow could be a completely different story for you. You just have to wake up, face the day, remind yourself (constantly) of things that are going right in your life at the moment.

    If you decide to end it all...you have cheated yourself of the chance at knowing what [good] things could happen for you in the future. I know it sounds like bull...but please try your best to stay positive, hang in there, and find as many things as you can to make your days brighter. Sometimes, it's the little things in life that we get the most happiness from.

    Again...please don't do anything to harm yourself. So many of our trials and personal battles are temporary. It sure as hell doesn't feel that way when you're going through them...but that is the case a lot of the time.


  35. #85
    CupidBoy
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Sometimes it's hard for people to reach out for help. Loneliness is a terrible feeling for anyone to experience. All I can say to anyone feeling sad or alone and depressed is please don't give up on life.

    Our current state of being doesn't define us, nothing is permanent. Today you may feel sad, but tomorrow is always a new day. Often times I feel lonely, but I know that someday everything will be better. You just have to hold on. Life is beautiful.

  36. #86
    Huntneo(PT)
    Guest

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I'm so worried about Praxus.

    I wish he would just log in or answer my PM from the other day, so we'll know he's alright.

  37. #87
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    You are not alone. There are more gay people around than you might think. Make use of the resources posted here. Create an account and post your trouble in Coming Out & Relationships.

  38. #88
    Come again? dereperez's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Praxus View Post
    I hate to say it but I've been seriously depressed for a while now (relationship issues) and I just keep getting darker and darker thoughts about just ending it, soon. My bf will be away this long easter weekend and I just keep thinking this is the time. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I hurt so bad inside and my thoughts have become so black that it's really a struggle to get out of bed each day and pretend that I'm ok. My head hurts all the time, my heart hurts all the time, and when I'm alone, which is a lot, all I do is cry. I just really don't think I can take another week feeling like this. I put on a fake smile when I leave the house and it really feels like I'm dying inside and I just can't take feeling like this anymore.
    It's been a month....I hope you are doing ok buddy. Small consolation, but if you could just see all the support you can get from here.

  39. #89
    Slut Draven's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I've come to terms with the fact that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care.
    gone was the glow of blue velvet....
    I live among the creatures of the night; I'm living in the forest of a dream

  40. #90
    CupidBoy
    Guest

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Draven View Post
    I've come to terms with the fact that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care.
    That's not true.

    Everyone is loved by someone.

  41. #91
    Dr. Good Hands KennyD's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I hope this is the right place to post my story....
    I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
    Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
    This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
    He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
    Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
    I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
    If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
    Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
    I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
    Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
    AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
    Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD

  42. #92
    CupidBoy
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    ^ so sorry to hear that. Please try to find the strength within yourself to carry on. You can find support somewhere, at least on JUB.

  43. #93
    Sex God silentalk's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by KennyD View Post
    I hope this is the right place to post my story....
    I will be 64 years young next month in June ... All of my life; I have questioned my sexual orientation , dealt with the remarks from friends and family .... BUT; I managed to exist in my own private world.
    Recently; an extended family member has come forward and is telling others including his mother (my best friend and confident) that I Molested him some 30 years ago . This is a LIE if there was ever a lie told ....
    This from the guy whom I took places , had in my home many many times even on week ends when he wanted to get away from the lonely farm they lived on .... then; when he was 20 years old or so , I came home one day and he was sitting at my front door with his belongings in garbage bags because he had been kicked out of where he was living .... so I took him in for about eight weeks until he got his self re organized .
    He continued to come to my home now and then for years until I moved out of state, sometimes staying over and sleeping on couch or spare bedroom .... and NOTHING sexual ever happening .....
    Now; out of the blue he begins making these unfounded accusations and I am at my wits end .... my entire extended family is not speaking to me , I haven't spoken to blood family since my sister murdered our mother back in 2006 and go away with it ...
    I've seriously considered taking my own life .... I have NO ONE whatsoever who really cares if I am dead or not and I know this ... and NO ONE can tell me any different ....
    If it wasn't for my little five year old dog ... I would have taken my own life by now .... BUT: I've "Humanized" him to the point where he THINKS he is a little boy .. sleeps in the bed with his head on the pillow, wants to go "Get the mail" with papa" ... etc etc .. and I know that NO ONE would take care of him and treat him / spoil him like I do if I was not around ....
    Yet; I just have this feeling that I am so tired of living or rather EXISTING in the cruel and evil world .... yet; I do so for my little boy.
    I just hope that he goes before me in the land of spirit .. then; I will have NO Problem of doing what I need to do to leave this earth plane , also ....
    Thanks to all of you who read this ... just had to vent and share my own story with maybe someone or those who might understand what I am dealing with ...
    AS I sign off ..One piece of advice that you all need to take very seriously ... NEVER ; under any circumstances or conditions be ALONE with anyone under the age of 18 ... NO Matter who they are , how well you THINK you know them or their parents / family etc ... it can come back to haunt you YEARS later as it has be ....
    Thanks for letting me tell my story ... KennyD
    I'm really sorry to hear this. I've had suicidal thoughts myself last year. I know the feeling that no one can help and that life won't get better. And honestly I don't have a solution. People told me to go to therapy, which I did. It didn't help. But the depression is gone now, and I don't even know the reason. Right now, I want to "live life to the fullest". One thing I did that calmed me down: I prayed a lot and kept praying. I know many people don't believe in God, but to me, it was a place to pour my heart out. If you're not religious, I'm not telling you to pray. Find someone to let it all out. But if you are (or if you prefer not to talk to people about it), maybe you should give it a try, whatever your faith is and whatever you believe in.

    I was deeply touched by what you said. If I could do anything to ease the pain, if anyone here on JUB can do anything, just let us know. Our hearts are with you

  44. #94

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Guess what... this world Is a mess.

    Surprise. It's true.

    ...........
    You are fine as you are.

    You are fare from perfect, but YOU ARE FINE.

    BETTER struggling and fumbling toward BETTER.

    Yeah, it's that simple.

    Those who STRUGGLE,FUMBLE, FAIL BUT LEARN and grow.

    True. Honest. Hard won. but honest,

  45. #95

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks

  46. #96
    Bammer's Papa
    Kulindahr's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by billycollege View Post
    Life is really hard sometimes. I have been bullied my whole life. Not for sexual orientation. but just for being odd. I wish I could be normal sometimes, but then I think that normal sucks and I want to be me. Self esteem is a big issue for me, nothing makes me feel better than a compliment. Being in college isnt perfect, but its far better than high school. So I guess this random thought post of mine is about over. Thanks
    Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.

    "Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

    --Jonathan Rauch, Salon Magazine, March 13, 2000

    *the number is now forty

  47. #97

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Kulindahr View Post
    Affirming thought: just being in college in the U.S. puts you in the stop few percent of the most educated people in the world.
    You just made my day! THANKS!!!!

  48. #98
    CupidBoy
    Guest

    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    No matter what, never give up.

  49. #99
    JUB Addict Gentleheart's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntneo(PT) View Post
    I'm so worried about Praxus.

    I wish he would just log in or answer my PM from the other day, so we'll know he's alright.

    ...and I still see that he never signed in after this post.

    I feel sick. I just hope he didn't hurt himself.
    I like to watch...

  50. #100
    On the Prowl Ichigofang16's Avatar
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    Re: If you're being bullied or suicidal please read.....

    I think we coddle these new batch of kids too much, they are way too soft and I don't understand why. I'm not trying to be insensitive to their pain but there are better and more productive ways to deal with a problem then killing urself. I believe the natural response to some one hurting you is hurt them back. When a crowd of people bully you, sneak around and find other victims, band together and stand up as a unit of your own--strength in numbers.

    Personally I believe that bullying is a natural way of setting up social roles and order, all creatures bully--animals do it and we do it too, it is a means to put all in there place. Boys seem to understand this instinctively --our bullying is a form of testing ones strength against another's and usually ends in respect or friendship if handled right (not counting gay factor, that depends on how much homophobia was programmed into the other party--thought it can easily be exploited). I've been on both sides of the fence....well the Bully--only those who picked on people I liked, and the victim--but I rarely stayed in that position and those who tried regretted it lol (nearly drowned my bully in the toilet and only let him go when he promised to leave me and my friends alone ).
    Though the type of bullying that is leading to the most irreversible violence is the girl type of bullying, that relentless psychological assault that cuts u off socially and drives you insane...leave it to females to come up with a way to kill others with words smh over stupid shit.
    K i'm ranting, but my point is that kids today don't seem to be trying to find ways to fight back--I don't expect hollywood level school revolutions but I do expect one to put up a fight and not wimp out and kill themselves or shoot up a school and kill innocents rather than the ones that actually hurt them. I know i sound sadistic but its a circle of unresolved evil with no justice, no lessons are being learned no strengths are being tested and the punks who bully believe they are untouchable until shit gets so real they are drowning in it.
    I was at work and was watching this kid bully another I told him to stop and he literally asked me what I'm going to do about it I got in his face and whispered exactly what I'd do and sat back and watched the color drain from his face--this aint no message board bitch there is real world ass whoopings to be had out here...I digress but after I dealt with him I moved on to the kid he was bullying and talked him and told him to fight back and how to go about it 3 different ways to strike back. 2 weeks go by no problems.

    My long winded point is this, instead of trying to rid the world of bullying...which is impossible...teach kids how to handle it themselves (no cop outs of tell an adult, teach them to stage a bully event in a public way--scream for help, be dramatic get attention and as the bully is freaking out and is caught--let him/her know that ur not afraid because you know how to deal with them.)

    Bullying is a social teaching tool and can only be rectified by those of that social arena--the kids themselves, no outside interference--

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