retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

[evanrick]

retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

Ok so quite often where i work we have photo processing (the customers call it 1-hour but nowhere does it say we will have it done in 1 hour). i love when they say stuff like "can i come back for it later?" (meaning their pictures). this implies somehow we are holding their pictures hostage or something. its truly a stupid question when ask if you can have your product when its finished. its like asking if you can drink water out of the water fountain, that's what its there for!! i feel like saying "yes you can come back for it later, unless our store is destroyed by fire"

also when people are buying things that dont have a price tag or are missing a barcode, they often say "that means its free!". i love saying back to them "ive never heard that one before!"

i sure i will think of more later, but does anyone else have stupid customer stories they want to share?

[willilikeit]

I think what they are asking is, "When will my pictures be ready to pick up?"

I think a simple smartass response from you would be, "No!".

[AshyPhoenix]

Oh, Gods.

I have so many of these stories I could add a couple pages to Not Always Right.

I was working in a bakery, and this really big guy comes up to the display. I greet him, ask him if I can help him, and he grunts and points at the donuts he wants. He doesn't ask me what type they are, or tell me which ones he wants; he just points like a 3-year-old. I grab all the cookies and donuts he wants (he got like 3 dozen cookies and 2 dozen donuts ), and then he goes to pay...

Fucker's using American dollars. He asks me what the exchange rate is, I go ask my coworker, she says $1 USD = $1 CAD, so I tell him that...

Dude goes fucking DEFCON I on me. Starts yelling and screaming about how "THIS IS NO WAY TO RUN A BUSINESS" and what a joke country Canada is. I listen to his rant patiently; hold out my hand to accept his American dollars; give him his change; and then I look him straight in the eyes and say, "Thanks, and I really hope you have a better day." He just sputtered angrily for about 10 seconds, then walked out of the door.

[Mikami]

Not stupid, but more-so annoying.

Our store does passport pictures. He called and said he took the picture and wanted to know if he could do it through our online service, I explained to him that it comes out too dark on our Hour machine, we usually do it at our kiosks. He then asks if he can bring the picture on a Memory Card and print it that way, I told him "Yes, but if they have a problem with the picture we don't refund and it would still be normal Passport Picture price". He said that is stupid and he shouldn't have to because he's doing the work, so then decided not to come in.

Well, you're using out print paper, our kiosk and our chemicals to print the picture. Besides the fact that I would be the one developing your picture, so it is not stupid that you'd have to pay full price when you're using our stuff.

Another lady called and asked about a Netbook that was on Sale, we didn't have it and haven't been getting it in. I understand the frustration of the of a store not having things on sale, but we don't always get the stuff and it's out of our control sometimes. She asked if she could get a rain check (these things don't expire). I told her 'No, because we haven't got the product at and it's not a normal product we get in'. She says she should still get the rain check and I told her I can't, then she said bye.

It makes no sense to write a rain check for a product our stores don't normally carry, we would basically be giving her a lot of money for free and we'd or owe you something. Retail doesn't give away free money.

[Mikami]

Also, them asking about when their photo's will be done is justifiable. You could be having problems with your Photo Processing machine, you could be backed up on orders and like you said there is no indication that it's an hour center, so how are they supposed to know when it gets done?

[Ram]

Where do I start? Not dumb, just mental.

Ugh, this cop... he was looking for a patient in the hospital I used to work in. He approached me and told me that someone was brought here and he needed to question the person.

Me: Do you have his/her name
Cop: No
Me: Gender and time of arrival?
Cop: No
Me: Age or race?
Cop: I don't have that information with me.
Me: Is there something you can tell me about this person that you know? It would help me greatly in finding the person.
Cop: Erm, he's pretty sick.
Me: ...

Pretty sick? Pretty sick? Gee, thanks for narrowing it down to every fucking patient in the hospital. Yeah, 99% of the patients are really very well in health and they are just here for the fantastic hospital food. What kind of shit cop are you?

I spent the next 2 hours (including lunch hour) doing detective work while the cop complained about my inability to find a specific person in an enormous public hospital with the very helpful key word of "sick".

[Travisevian]

Ok so quite often where i work we have photo processing (the customers call it 1-hour but nowhere does it say we will have it done in 1 hour). i love when they say stuff like "can i come back for it later?"

What I believe they're asking is if the photos will be available in the same day? How is this a stupid question?

this implies somehow we are holding their pictures hostage or something.

No, it doesn't.

also when people are buying things that dont have a price tag or are missing a barcode, they often say "that means its free!". i love saying back to them "ive never heard that one before!"

It's a common joke. If you think this makes a customer stupid, perhaps, customer service isn't the profession for you.

Where do I start? Not dumb, just mental.

Ugh, this cop... he was looking for a patient in the hospital I used to work in. He approached me and told me that someone was brought here and he needed to question the person.

Me: Do you have his/her name
Cop: No
Me: Gender and time of arrival?
Cop: No
Me: Age or race?
Cop: I don't have that information with me.
Me: Is there something you can tell me about this person that you know? It would help me greatly in finding the person.
Cop: Erm, he's pretty sick.
Me: ...

Pretty sick? Pretty sick? Gee, thanks for narrowing it down to every fucking patient in the hospital. Yeah, 99% of the patients are really very well in health and they are just here for the fantastic hospital food. What kind of shit cop are you?

I spent the next 2 hours (including lunch hour) doing detective work while the cop complained about my inability to find a specific person in an enormous public hospital with the very helpful key word of "sick".

What a fool!

[silverbelt]

I work in a bookstore. When I think of "stupid customers", I get a rapid series of flashbacks... I'll try to pick the best :P

One woman was being an absolute ball-breaker. We finally get to the checkout and as I'm putting the books through, she wanders over to the bookmark stand and picks one up. It was just a plain bookmark, had a tassel on it (for extra prettiness, of course). She looks up at me and asks, "This is a bookmark... (I nod) I know it's a bookmark... but how do you use it?" I stared blankly at her for a few seconds before saying really slowly, "You place it in the book... at the page you want to mark... so you don't lose where you're up to...". Her face transitioned to that of a child learning the most ingenious solution to a problem, put the bookmark back on the stand and paid for her books. All of us working couldn't do much more than stare at each other in awe for a while.

Also, shortly after I'd been hired (still on probation, during a Christmas period) a man wanted to buy a bunch of our bargain novels. They're $5.99ea, or 5 for $25. He had 7. I told him it came to $36.98 for the lot. He argued that he had 7: if it's 5 for $25, then each book should be $5, hence the total should be $35. I told him that the $25 price only applies to groups of 5 and any extraneous books are charged individually. He started fuming and exclaimed in front of the 20 or so other customers around the counter, "Well you can keep your bloody books then!" and threw them all at me. I was new to retail, so I kinda just stood there in shock while my manager told him to leave. Christmas makes customers go funny.

I'm sure I've got more stories... bookstores don't seem to have the intellectual clientele people assume they would.

[BlondeCanadian]

I had a woman call in and bitch about her internet being out. then at the end of her tirade she says that we will have to fix it quickly because her cordless phone is running out of batteries and the hydro is out

[Quanchi]

Here's a website dedicated to stories about stupid customers: Not Always Right

[BlondeCanadian]

Not to mention how many calls i got from people telling me there screen only says no signal... so there is something wrong with their internet

[silverbelt]

Another awesome site for stupid customers (and sometimes bosses/employees): clientcopia.com

[Travisevian]

I work in a bookstore. When I think of "stupid customers", I get a rapid series of flashbacks... I'll try to pick the best :P

One woman was being an absolute ball-breaker. We finally get to the checkout and as I'm putting the books through, she wanders over to the bookmark stand and picks one up. It was just a plain bookmark, had a tassel on it (for extra prettiness, of course). She looks up at me and asks, "This is a bookmark... (I nod) I know it's a bookmark... but how do you use it?"

You should have told her to dip it into her urine and that if it turns pink, she's pregnant.

[redfox70]

You should have told her to dip it into her urine and that if it turns pink, she's pregnant.

Brilliant!

[RobertACE]

Well, I'm sure customers can be pretty stupid but I've run into a few stupid retail workers too.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard... "Are you sure you can afford this?"

or

We don't carry this or that and then I find it in their store!

I wouldn't be looking at something if I couldn't afford it, give me break!

[jdcnow]

God, where to start.

I could write a friggin' book. I think all of us could And it would sell. It would sell like crazy.

And note to evanrick: I love you for creating this thread. Just so you know.

One of the annoyances I'm running into to at the convenience store I work at, is that our debit PINpad machines ask for the PIN number last. It asks, "Do you want cash back?", "Do you approve the total amount of the purchase?" (including any cash back they may have requested), and "Enter your PIN." in that order. I guess folks are so used to entering their PIN number first. You'd be surprised at the people I have to tell in a "sweet-as-sugar" polite tone, "Now, hang on just a sec, now. You have to read the screen, and read what's in front in front of you." I'm always inwardly amused when they look at me like, "Huh?"

I didn't know this little tidbit until I started working at a convenience store: We are required to do a once-a-week test to prove we don't have water in our gas. We go outside and take a kneepad (we're kneeling on stone concrete), a pen, a piece of receipt paper on a clipboard, and this thin, but LONG (12 ft. long) wooden meter stick with me. I also take this tube of water detection paste with me. We smear a little bit on, about 14 inches from the bottom end. We stick the whole stick down off into the underground tanks. When we pull it back up, we write down how many inches of fuel each tank has (our station has 3 tanks). I work the night shift, when we're not really busy, so the job falls to me. I usually pick about 2:00am or so when it's nice and dead, right after I get through mopping, and right before I do my nightly cigarette pack and lottery ticket inventories. It's nice and dead, nobody's there, just me. Just when I get 1 of the three tanks tested and done, here comes an 18-wheeler pulling into our diesel pumps - right where the tanks are! I don't know what these people smoke or if they share, but even with my neon-yellow vest I go out in to do this, they still try to run my ass over. Living proof they'll let ANYBODY drive a mack truck.

[bostonboy20]

I work at a small liquor store and can't stand my customers sometimes..lol


while I have many annoying questions/comments made everyday (You know this is cheaper down the street? [Well go down the street if you know that], I can get this for 5 bucks up in New Hampshire[no shit, they don't have the same taxes we do, so go there if you want])

My probably most annoying situation(which got me so full of rage and shock that this man was yelling at me for this) an old man comes in and buys a 6pk of beer, he places it on the counter and I take my scanner gun and tilt the 6pk to scan the barcode on the bottom of the pack. He then proceeds to remove my hand from the 6pk and place it fully back on the counter and asks me if there was a better way I could have done that, because now they are completely shaken up. "Did you have to tilt it like that", I responded, well sir the barcode is on the bottom that I need to scan to complete your transaction. And then I showed him the barcode and he again swats my hand and says "Don't do it again!" "But wasn't there a better way to do it than that?"
"Well I guess I could have just lifted it straight up sir" "Yeah I guess you could have done that, if these are all shaken up and explode on me I will bring them back and get a refund" now i'm annoyed so I just say "Yup". he pays and leaves. about 2 mins later an old lady comes in with the 6pk and says "My husband just bought these and said you shook them up, can we please get a new one, thanks" so I grab it out of her hand and walk to the coolers and give her a new one. I was soooo annoyed by this cause he was pretty much talking to me like a child.

And just to note, when I tilt a 6pk I barely tilt it, just enough to get to the barcode, the beer barely even moves, and in reality even if they were a bit shaken it wouldn't have been a problem unless he was opening that beer in the car and if that was the case than I would have called the cops on that cranky ass old man.

[Mikami]

while I have many annoying questions/comments made everyday (You know this is cheaper down the street? [Well go down the street if you know that]

Hate this.

'I could've got this for xx amount at x store.' Ok? What do you want me to do? Go there and buy it for cheaper, I'm not forcing you to buy it here. You walked into the store, not me.

[parlercedar]

I work in visuals so I almost always have a daily customer that wants the shirt off the mannequin, only not to buy it and I'll have to put it back on the mannequin. Or, if they buy it, they come back the next day trying to return it saying that it must have been damaged while on display. Like the stain that resembles vomit or the smell of alcohol on it before it was purchased.

[jdcnow]

Hate this.

'I could've got this for xx amount at x store.' Ok? What do you want me to do? Go there and buy it for cheaper, I'm not forcing you to buy it here. You walked into the store, not me.

And that's the little detail people seem to forget. You came to us. We didn't kidnap you out in the street at gunpoint, drag you to our store, and say that you JUST HAD to buy it from us, or else!

Back when I was assistant manager over a dollar store in a nearby town. We had this one woman who owned a local franchise restaurant. Her snootiness was (and still is) known (and hated) all around town. I don't care who you are, when you dealt with this particular dame, you always walk away from her with the feeling of, "OK, who died and made you queen?"

Now our store hours are clearly posted right next to the front door on a huge 2-ft wide by 3-ft tall window poster with giant bold letters. We close at the same time every night: 9:00. What I always did with the few stragglers we'd see right at closing, is that if they knew what they wanted, and they only wanted a few things, and it was still a minute or two before straight up 9 o'clock, then sure, I'd let them in, but politely inform them that we're about to close. But... my rule is: 9 o'clock means 9 o'clock. If somebody showed up at 9:01, sorry 'bout your luck, but there's a 24-hour Walmart right next door that never closes. (The strip shopping center my dollar store was in was literally at the Garden Center side of the parking lot of a Walmart Supercenter.) My boss, the store manager backed me up on this too: every night, it should only take 30 minutes for my cashier and I to close the store, and we only have that much of an hours budget. And it taking 30 minutes means we aren't interrupted by customers coming in at the last minute, then staying 5 or 10 minutes more to look and shop. We're open for 13 hours everyday (8am to 9pm). If people can't make it in *sometime* between there, then we're sorry, but that's just too bad. We've got a time limit to get the store properly shut down and closed for the night, and that's just how it is.

One night, the above-mentioned woman comes in, about 8:30, and wants several cans of Campbell's Cream Of Mushroom soup. After getting a shopping cart full of additional items, she THEN discovers that she left her money in the other purse that she left at home. She does pay for some of her stuff, then says that she'll try to be back for the Campbell's soup. "OK, fine," I tell her, "just please be back before 9:00." She's like, OK. So (you've probably figured this out) 9:00 came and went, and she doesn't show. The cans of soup go back to the shelf. My cashier and I pull ourselves off the registers and go to the back office to shut down for the night. The store is empty, except for my cashier and I, and the sales floor is dark, except for the security lights. Now, we're in the back office. I've finished counting both our registers. It's 9:15, and, like clockwork, we're about to count the nightly bank deposit like usual. All of a sudden the phone rings. Do you know this crazy broad calls us on her cell phone from our front door?

Me: "Good evening, Dollar Tree. This is Joseph, may I help you?"
Woman: "Uh, yes. This is (name censored to protect the ignorant). I have the money for the soup."
Me: "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I did tell you to be back before 9:00. It's now 9:15. Not only have we counted and shutdown both registers, but we're in the middle of finalizing the paperwork before locking up for the night. Now if you come back at 8:00 tomorrow morning, we'll be more than happy to --" (I was going to say, 'sell it to you'.)
The woman interrupts: "You can't open up a register, real quick?"
Me: "Ma'am, it takes about 5 minutes to fire a register back up, and we're on a time limit to get the store shut down. We have to be out of here by 9:30. Now, if you come back in the morning at 8 o'clock, we'll give you all the soup you want. I'm very sorry, ma'am but that where things stand, at the moment. You have a good night, now. " (And I hang up on her.)

I asked my store manager the next day about it, and she again backed me up, and said that I did the right thing. 9:00 means 9:00, simple as that. The onus is upon the customer to bring enough money for what they intend to buy. If they forget and leave it at home, that's not our fault, nor our problem.

[JohannBessler]

I work in a capacity in which I sometimes have to host in a restaurant, when my other duties are temporarily fulfillied.

Our single biggest problem? People who insist on a "booth". You would not believe what a problem this is! If there isn't one available, they'll insist on sitting in a booth in a closed station.

Many, many times, I have had customers create a scene because they couldn't sit in a booth, and storm out angrily.

It never ceases to amaze me.

[Yooper]

A few notes I've gleaned over the years:

1. Customers cannot read.
2. Customers are convinced the POS-level associate created all the company policies, and all of them are designed to rip said Customer off.
3. Customers are convinced Retail Operations have a vast warehouse attached to the store, somehow in a 5th dimension, that stock every product known to mankind, and because we are lazy ignoramuses, refuse to go get whatever it is the Customer wants. This is especially apparent in a Specialty store. Why can't you buy a blender at a shoe store?
4. It is always the retail worker's fault if your credit card/debit card/check is declined. Always. I'm doing this to piss you off.
5. Customers believe retail workers are Psychic. I of course can see what you want when you ask me for the green thing that was over there three weeks ago and of course on sale. Duh!
6. I personally decided we would get Christmas products out in September. Globally.
7. Yes. We have elves that come into the store after we close to clean up after you, leaving fresh produce in the freezer, putting the bedspread you took out of the package back into it, etc., etc.

I'll post more soon. I have to go to bed after 4 ten hour days in a row.

[Thynight]

I work at a small liquor store and can't stand my customers sometimes..lol


while I have many annoying questions/comments made everyday (You know this is cheaper down the street? [Well go down the street if you know that], I can get this for 5 bucks up in New Hampshire[no shit, they don't have the same taxes we do, so go there if you want])

My probably most annoying situation(which got me so full of rage and shock that this man was yelling at me for this) an old man comes in and buys a 6pk of beer, he places it on the counter and I take my scanner gun and tilt the 6pk to scan the barcode on the bottom of the pack. He then proceeds to remove my hand from the 6pk and place it fully back on the counter and asks me if there was a better way I could have done that, because now they are completely shaken up. "Did you have to tilt it like that", I responded, well sir the barcode is on the bottom that I need to scan to complete your transaction. And then I showed him the barcode and he again swats my hand and says "Don't do it again!" "But wasn't there a better way to do it than that?"
"Well I guess I could have just lifted it straight up sir" "Yeah I guess you could have done that, if these are all shaken up and explode on me I will bring them back and get a refund" now i'm annoyed so I just say "Yup". he pays and leaves. about 2 mins later an old lady comes in with the 6pk and says "My husband just bought these and said you shook them up, can we please get a new one, thanks" so I grab it out of her hand and walk to the coolers and give her a new one. I was soooo annoyed by this cause he was pretty much talking to me like a child.

And just to note, when I tilt a 6pk I barely tilt it, just enough to get to the barcode, the beer barely even moves, and in reality even if they were a bit shaken it wouldn't have been a problem unless he was opening that beer in the car and if that was the case than I would have called the cops on that cranky ass old man.

Does it even matter if beer gets shaken?

[jdcnow]

A few notes I've gleaned over the years:

1. Customers cannot read.
2. Customers are convinced the POS-level associate created all the company policies, and all of them are designed to rip said Customer off.
3. Customers are convinced Retail Operations have a vast warehouse attached to the store, somehow in a 5th dimension, that stock every product known to mankind, and because we are lazy ignoramuses, refuse to go get whatever it is the Customer wants. This is especially apparent in a Specialty store. Why can't you buy a blender at a shoe store?
4. It is always the retail worker's fault if your credit card/debit card/check is declined. Always. I'm doing this to piss you off.
5. Customers believe retail workers are Psychic. I of course can see what you want when you ask me for the green thing that was over there three weeks ago and of course on sale. Duh!
6. I personally decided we would get Christmas products out in September. Globally.
7. Yes. We have elves that come into the store after we close to clean up after you, leaving fresh produce in the freezer, putting the bedspread you took out of the package back into it, etc., etc.

I'll post more soon. I have to go to bed after 4 ten hour days in a row.

Cyber-high-5. Tell it like it is.

I especially love it when people let their little kids come in and play Wheel Of Fortune with the reading glass and sunglass carousel display towers. Then, when the carousel display tower tips over and falls from being spun around so hard (as it almost literally did one time, in my store), the parents look at us like we did something wrong. No, it's your fault for allowing your kids to be uncontrolled little turds. We are not your kids' babysitters when you go to the other side of the store and shop.

[jamie_01930]

i HAVE ONE THAT TAKES THE CAKE. WE TOO HAVE INSTORE PROCESSING AND CUSTOMER SEES OUR 2ND SET FREE SIGN AND WANTS THE PHOTOS SHE HAD JUST DONE ELSEWHERE DONE FOR N/C THE SIGN DIDN'T SAY YOU HAD TO HAVE TO HAVE THEM ME DONE AT THE SAME TIME. I'M SURE I WENT OUT FOR COCKTAILS THAT NIGHT.

[jdcnow]

also when people are buying things that dont have a price tag or are missing a barcode, they often say "that means its free!".

I think that customers honestly believe that we in retail think that that joke is actually funny. When in reality, we just want to knock the fire out of them.

[AshyPhoenix]

I think that customers honestly believe that we in retail think that that joke is actually funny. When in reality, we just want to knock the fire out of them.

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I have a friend who used to work at a convenience store, and when I'd occasionally go and hang out there, there'd be at LEAST one person every night who would say that "joke". It got to the point where *I* was getting pissed off at how stupid that is too.

[silverbelt]

I just remembered something from my much-repressed first Christmas in retail.

The issue of bringing shopping trolleys into stores has come up pretty often. I'm pretty sure it's illegal (or just not allowed...) in New Zealand, which I envy.

Back that Christmas, we had a tonne of people in the store (GFC means we are pretty quiet now). It's not a very big store, and the walkways between shelves are just enough for wheelchairs and the like to fit comfortably without hitting anything. For that entire Christmas though, there were so many trolleys in the store that some disabled customers were getting trapped at the back of the store, unable to get around the trolleys.

Did the customers care? I don't think I even need to answer that.

[evanrick]

Also, them asking about when their photo's will be done is justifiable. You could be having problems with your Photo Processing machine, you could be backed up on orders and like you said there is no indication that it's an hour center, so how are they supposed to know when it gets done?

i guess we disagree here. i also disagree about charging 50x more for a passport sized picture since its just another print.

[Mikami]

That '50x more charge' is still 5 dollars cheaper than if you'd get it done at the post office. But hey, it's your money.

I think that customers honestly believe that we in retail think that that joke is actually funny. When in reality, we just want to knock the fire out of them.

"Don't work too hard."

[gsdx]

And just to note, when I tilt a 6pk I barely tilt it, just enough to get to the barcode, the beer barely even moves, and in reality even if they were a bit shaken it wouldn't have been a problem unless he was opening that beer in the car and if that was the case than I would have called the cops on that cranky ass old man.

What's bouncing around on the seat of the car going to do to it as he drives home?

[Huntneo(PT)]

I'm not a retail worker, but this thread is a fun read!

Subscribed!

[ADarkStar1234]

One of my funniest experiences as a cashier:

A couple years ago the entire region I'm in had a massive shortage of wood pellets for wood pellet stoves, people were really impatient and pissed. One cold winter day I was at a cash register at the quiet end of the store, where a woman struts in with her 5 year old son and walks right up to my counter. She slams down here credit card and here is how the conversation went.
Her: "I want 10 bags of wood pellets!"
Me: "I'm sorry, we don't have any in right now."
Her: "Yes you do, I want 10 bags right now."
Me: "Um, there is a massive shortage of wood pellets, no place in the city has them in. I know that we don't have any."
Her: "I know you have them, so I want 10 bags now!"
Me: "If we did have them I would have to send you to the service desk, but I know for a fact we don't have them."
Her: "Yes you do, I saw them outside!"
Me: "Okay, can you show them to me please."
So we go just outside the door and she points at a large box with bags in it that were clearly labeled as Tube Sand. There was also a large sign indictating it was tube sand.
Her: "See, here they are, now I want 10 bags!"
Me: "Ma'am, this is tube sand, not wood pellets."
Her: "They look like wood pellets to me."
Me: "They are clearly labelled as tube sand, and do you see the sign right in front of it saying its tube sand."
Her: "So they aren't wood pellets."
Me: "No."
Her: "When will you get them in?"
Me: "I don't know, but you can put your name on a call list so we can call you when we get some."
Her: "No I need them now, I'll go to *other store* to get them."
Me: "You do that..." - knowing full well that she won't find any.

[Sharkell]

Plenty of times I had people ask me where the cosmetics or the bathroom is when they are standing like a foot away from said area and the huge plastic sign in all bold letters reading "Cosmetics" is hanging directly above their heads. If I hadn't valued my job and let my inner smartass out I simply would've said, "look up".

[Mikami]

Trying to this remember this story completely. This lady I would call absolutely insane, not stupid.

She comes in with an empty bottle of Listerine and the stores gift card. She wants to return the empty bottle, put the credit on the gift card and wants to empty bottle back. Yes, this is what she wanted and I wish I was making this up. I call a Manager up because she isn't listening to me, and she tells my Manager what she told me. Manger tells her she can't give her back the bottle if she wanted a refund and the fact that the bottle was empty so we couldn't do the refund.

So she walks away and buys one of our gift cards for 10 dollars. Manager explains to her again that she can't do what she wants and she gets irritated, says something and walks back to Pharmacy.

So a few minutes later she is back at my register, she has a few things I ring her up. The transaction is about to finish. She gives me the gift card she just bought and tells me to use it. I do, it only takes like a 1.50 off the transaction (she ended up using part of the gift card in Pharmacy). I explained that to her and then she gives me the receipt and tells me to scan the bar code, I told her that's not a coupon. Then she gives me the part of the receipt where it tells you how much is on the gift card she just bought and spent, again I tell her it's not a coupon. She doesn't want to hear it.

So again I call the Manager and she basically says what I told this women already. The lady starts flipping out, cursing, saying we have 'stupid fucking Managers' and all this other nonsense. Manager tells her to leave if she is going to curse. She keeps cursing making a ruckus, eventually grabs her stuff and leaves.

The Manager calls the Pharmacy to find out the ladies name because she doesn't want this person in the store anymore. Turns out this lady was already banned from the store because a year prior she was caught stealing in our store.

Long story, I know. But it was a crazy situation.

[Huntneo(PT)]

Some of this stuff is unbelievable! You guys must be pulling our legs!?

[Musik2400]

I work at one of very few convenient stores in Canada that happens to include a Liquor store as well... on top of which we're in a small town FULL of drunk people. I have MANY stories. I'll try and pick a few.

Setting: Sunday night, after the liqour is locked ( a big meal gate pulled across that side of the store) and beer store closed too. Drunk guy walks in.
Drunk: Awww... liquor's closed? (at 9:30 pm)
Me: Yes
Drunkk: Oh, so you can only get beer?
Me: No, beer store is closed too
Drunk: Oh *tries to open one of the beer doors* Oh, so all the beer's closed?
Me: Yes. The entie beer store
Drunk: So I can't get any alcohol?
Me: No
Drunk: Not even just one 6 pack?

This went on for about 20 minutes...and happens at least once a week.

Empties are another annoying thing.

Dude came in with 18 24's, 2 12 packs, and 4 6packs. He came inside. I was in the middle of filling out a milk order (which involved clearing out our etire milk cooler), and my coworker had a line of customers. I politely told him that if he just wanted to unload them at the side of the building, he could let us know how many he had and we'd give him his money. (regullar procedure at our store when both CSR's are busy). He told me he didn't know how to add them up.... (he's a regular who brings in empties at least once a week... so ya he does know)

I went out to check, and saw what he had. I told him he could go inside and let her know he had 20 24's. He was like "But what about my 12's and 6packs?" Me: Well.. 18, plus 2 12 packs is another 24 which makes 19, and 4 6 packs makes 20 24's
Him: I don't think thats right.
Me: Well then if you would like to count them yourself, I wouldn't mind getting back to what I was doing. Have a nice day.

Or phone calls!
Caller: Hi, what time's your beer store closed?
Me: Sorry, you just missed it. It closes t 6 on Sundays
Callr: Aw, really? You're joking right!?
Me: Nope. Sorry
Caller: So theres no way for me to get any beer?
Me: No
Caller: But don't you have a key? Couldn't you just open it up for me?

At this point I usually hang up.

[bostonboy20]

ooo another fav from my liquor store:

~shouting across the store~
How much is a 6pack?

Me: Of what?

Customer: A 6pk

Me: Yes, but of what kind of beer?

Customer: Oh, Bud.

[Yooper]

The BEST get-even-with-the-dickhead story I've ever heard:

A while ago my neighbor was working for a Home Improvement Center for the summer while he was in College.

Customer comes in to return a toilet he'd purchased, claiming it had a scratch on it. He's being a real dick about it, too, because he claims he had to drive a whole half hour back to the store and has now lost two hours of his valuable day, and wants to exchange the toilet and get paid for his time, too! Whatever. OK, go look it up and there's only one left...in the entire state. So my friend goes to the warehouse and the toilet is at the top of the rack...some 30 feet up. He gets the lift, goes up to retrieve the toilet, and in a moment of questionable judgement, he misses the lift and toilet (it IS in the box) goes flying off the rack.

Wait, it gets better.

My friend opens up the box and puts all the bazillion pieces into bubble wrap, tapes it up securely, returns the pieces to the box and makes sure the box isn't making any noise.

He takes the box to the customer and assured the customer he personally inspected the replacement toilet and it is scratch-free. Places it gently in the back of the customer's SUV.

About an hour later, my friend sees the customer driving back into the parking lot. He goes to the Manager's office and says he's leaving for the day, because he's about to get fired.

Way, way worth the losing the job part!

[DeafFoxDemon]

WOW, those stories are funny as hell

[Mikami]

Some of this stuff is unbelievable! You guys must be pulling our legs!?

I honestly wish I was.

The lady I was just talking about in my last story came into my store today, she didn't cause any trouble but the Manager that was on duty before was there tonight, she hid. lol.

[LemonSquare]

Cust: How Much are your Cigarettes?
Me: Which ones
Cust: Your Cigarettes.
Me: Which brand of Cigarettes, we have lots.
Cust, in a snotty attitude, as if I should know what kind he smokes: XXY Brand.

Cust: You know, these are 15 cents cheaper at XYZ Store.
Me: Yup.
Cust: Why don't you sell them for the same price? A pack of smokes is a pack of smokes.

On hot days:

Custs': OMG, it's so hot in here, you should have an Air Conditioner!
Really? I've only been here for 7 hours, I didn't notice it's 40 god damn degrees in here. Thanks for the tip off, Sherlock.

Lady approaches ATM. Couple mins later:
"Does this work"
Me: As far as I know, no one has reported any problems today.
Cust: Well, it's not giving me any money!!

So I walk over and look. Machine says Declined, which pretty much means there are insufficient funds on the account. She gets all pissed off that the machine won't give her any money. You can tell the woman is struggling financially. I looked at her for a second and she stormed out of the store. I felt like telling her it's not a magic machine, and dosen't give you free money.


Cust: Pack of John Players Regular
ME:*Gets pack of John Players Regular, and place them on the counter*
Cust: *Shoves pack of cigs back at me and yells with disgusted attitude "20 pack!"

If you want a 20 pack. Fucking tell me.


Woman comes up to pay for her Gas:

Me: 40.0? (example)
Cust: yes.
Me, noticing her debit card: Debit? That's 39.25
Cust: What?! 39.25?!
Me: Yes Ma'am, you save 2 cents per litre when you pay with Debit
Cust: I KNOW!!!!
Me: Stare at her. Then turn around and give stupid look to co-worker.


When you pay for gas with cash, we don't give you the receipt, because the computer dosen't auto print one. People give exact change and just stand there until you ask if the want a reciept. Sometimes they do, sometimes they are just standing there, watching you put the money in the till. After I say "Thank You", Walk. Away.

Chick asks for $25 Cash back.
I tell her we can only do 20. Gets mad and says "Well, I just can't do it then". Okay. Fine.

People come up to pay for Gasoline that's $xx.02. They chuck the 2 cents on the counter and say "the rest in Debit" --What's the god damn point of that!?

One old man said "You know, you're really one annoying pain in the ass" when I asked him to sigh his Lottery Ticket before I checked it to see if it was a winner. No signature = No money if you win. I really don't care if you sign or not.





Annoying shit:

-When getting someone their Pull Lotto tickets "Make sure I get the winners".
-Ask for "Twist and Shout" on their lotto ticket. No. It's called "Twist". Shut up.
- Chucking $8 in nickels on the counter and asking if I mind if they pay in change. What If I said yes?
-Getting annoyed when I won't go home with you to unload the new clothes washer off your truck. We have a delivery service. I'm not it.
-"This ticket must be the lucky winner, it has my age on it, 28!!" When the guy is minimum 65. It was funny the first time. After the 50th, it fucking annoys me. Shut up.


Retail. I'm just filling in as a favor to the owner of the store until he finds someone permanent. Not going to miss it.

It's the little things that after a while, eat your soul.

[bostonboy20]

thought of more things at work tonight...haha

this one isn't so much a stupid thing...just more of a, I don't understand why more than one person has asked me this question.

"Are the warm 12pks the same price as the cold ones?"

Like...I just don't understand that...like are they expecting the warm ones to be cheaper?

When customers just throw money at me in a crumpled ball.
When a customer places the money down right in front of my out stretched hand.
When a customer places the money at the other end of the counter making me walk away from the register to get it.

and then of course the cell phone talkers who just point at things assuming I can decipher exactly which tiny nip bottle their finger is pointing to. Use your big person words please and get off your goddamn phone!


OH and probably the most annoying one, when you say the total, they hand you money you ring it up and then JUST as the drawer is opening they go "Oh I think I've got the change"....like I know usually it's fairly easy math...but I hate math and that's what the register is there for...to tell me how much to give back...cause then if I can't figure it out quickly I feel like a complete moron.

[syoBsUtsuJ]

One woman flat-out told me, "You're in the customer service business ... service me, bitch."

[Yooper]

Most annoying question:

"Do you work here??"

Someday I'm actually going to say it: "No, madam, I happened to find this spiffy name tag, cordless telephone, and walkie talkie out in the parking lot and thought I'd come in and move merchandise around just for the hell of it."

OR

"No, sir, I just hit the actual employee over the head with this frying pan, and stole his nametag and thought it would be fun to stand behind the cash register counter and ring up sales."

J. F. Christ, we're all wearing frigging nametags. Honestly.

[jdcnow]

A few notes I've gleaned over the years:

1. Customers cannot read.

Plenty of times I had people ask me where the cosmetics or the bathroom is when they are standing like a foot away from said area and the huge plastic sign in all bold letters reading "Cosmetics" is hanging directly above their heads. If I hadn't valued my job and let my inner smartass out I simply would've said, "look up".

Oh, PandyBoxx, don't feel alone, dear. When I worked at Dollar Tree, our business format was that everything we sell is $1 per item. We had it etched into the front doors, "Dollar Tree: Where Everything's $1". We had window posters advertising our wares in the front windows. We had the green skysigns hanging off the ceiling both at the front and back of every aisle with our big huge ($1) insignia on it that said, "Everything's $1. Believe It!" Down every aisle, we also had the strips along the front edge of the shelves that said "Everything's $1". We had the little index card signs every few feet on items, that said $1.

We'd still get asked on a daily basis, "How much is this?" I often joked with my cashiers, "If we got it tattooed across our foreheads, 'YES, IT'S A $1.' do you think they'd still ask?"

[jdcnow]

Some of this stuff is unbelievable! You guys must be pulling our legs!?

Believe me, you have no idea how much we really wished we actually were making this stuff up. But I assure you, that every one of these stories are the God-honest truth. I kind of think of our job in retail as something along the lines of HBO's Taxicab Confessions, although not nearly as raunchy...sometimes.

My mom is an overnight stocker at a Walmart Supercenter. You gotta understand, in these smaller, rural towns especially, the local Walmart SC is often the only game in town between 12/Midnight and 5:00am. So often times, it also functions as the local hangout. And sometime people come in and let it all hang out. Literally.

My mom told me that this young college guy came in the store one night and started streaking and strip-dancing, all the way down to a Speedo. All the women employees started fishing for dollar bills and gathering at the main aisles in front of fashions and on the west side between fashions and toys/electronics. But the male assistant manager stepped in and promptly kicked him out of the store, and threatened to call the cops if he came back in later that night. Turns out, it was a prank the guy's buddies had put him up to.

[jdcnow]

thought of more things at work tonight...haha

When customers just throw money at me in a crumpled ball.
When a customer places the money down right in front of my out stretched hand.
When a customer places the money at the other end of the counter making me walk away from the register to get it.

and then of course the cell phone talkers who just point at things assuming I can decipher exactly which tiny nip bottle their finger is pointing to. Use your big person words please and get off your goddamn phone!


OH and probably the most annoying one, when you say the total, they hand you money you ring it up and then JUST as the drawer is opening they go "Oh I think I've got the change"....like I know usually it's fairly easy math...but I hate math and that's what the register is there for...to tell me how much to give back...cause then if I can't figure it out quickly I feel like a complete moron.

Believe me, I can sympathize. When people throw money and coins at me, then fakely apologize for it, I simply reply with this snappy comeback:

"Oh, that's OK. My only complain with money being throwed at me is that it doesn't happen more often. When people stop throwing money at me, that's when I'll mind."

[jdcnow]

thought of more things at work tonight...haha

When customers just throw money at me in a crumpled ball.

To all the lady JUBbers here, please forgive my ignorance here, because I'm going to sound like a complete jerk. But could somebody tell me what's with the women who stuff money down off into their bra? What is that about?

There's nothing quite like accepting sweaty nasty dollar bills from a place every straight guy dreams of going.

[Huntneo(PT)]

^

My mom told me that this young college guy came in the store one night and started streaking and strip-dancing, all the way down to a Speedo. All the women employees started fishing for dollar bills and gathering at the main aisles in front of fashions and on the west side between fashions and toys/electronics. But the male assistant manager stepped in and promptly kicked him out of the store, and threatened to call the cops if he came back in later that night. Turns out, it was a prank the guy's buddies had put him up to.

Too bad they didn't get any pictures.