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  1. #201
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Well, because my store is a 24-hour one, we have to do a business day change-over right when the manager gets there at 4.00am in the morning. Well, we do have to shut down both registers in order to do it, and cannot ring anything up.

    Most of our out-of-towners and night travellers that are just passing through understand. They're like, yeah, OK, fine. They are the cool ones. The ones who pitch a hissy shit fit are the locals, our regular everyday customers who act like the biggest 3-year-olds when they have to wait 5 minutes while we do this. My boss told me, this morning, "Our story doesn't change. You'd think they'd get it by now that we HAVE TO do this."

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  2. #202
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Folks, please... When you get gas at the gas pump, would you be so kind as to actually, you know, hang up the pump first, before driving off!

    It happened yesterday. Guy didn't pay attention. Trouble is, his gas tank was on the driver's side. Ya' know, where he gets into the vehicle! You think the moron would have noticed, "Um, maybe just maybe, I might just need to take that out first..."



    Now, there's a new work order on our pump number 4. Can't imagine why.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  3. #203
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^

    re remarks above

    sent to those you claim to love

    okie dokie

    artie chokie

    you can snap into it

    just don't forget you

    have to snap out of it.

  4. #204
    radical faerie ixthrock's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    just...please...

    sure, it rained two inches yesterday, and it's a steady drizzle out, and, yes, I'll get in front of eight tons of topsoil going 30 miles an hour in a big old isuzu truck with slightly worn tires and slightly soft brakes (just don't pull out in front of me in traffic, yeh jackwagon!!) because, after all, it is my job and we're taking all the business we can get... but... do you realise that all that topsoil you ordered is going to be a big pile of wet MUD? Are you really planning on shoveling all that in the rain TODAY?!?! Is it really not possible to wait for a few sunny days to let the material dry out a little, if not for my sake, than perhaps for the sake of your back? Is it really that hard to look at the sky and put two and two together? And... sure, if the material's dry, and I'm in a good mood, I might ignore company policy (one drop point) and TRY to put a little here and a little there, just because you seem like a nice guy and I don't mind saving you some labor if I can, but... when eight tons of dirt starts to move, it's going to move fast very quickly and I make no guarantees that the hydraulic lift is going to act fast enough to halt its momentum . Don't get snippy with me if it doesn't come out like you want it. That's if the material is dry. Ever heard of a mudslide?

  5. #205
    radical faerie ixthrock's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    also, I'm sorry the bitch in admin never told you that policy is curbside dropoff, but if you really want me to take all this weight across your pristine lawn during this same drizzle, get ready for the expense of resodding. Also I've already learned far too often the hard way - walking across same lawn is not enough bearing weight to tell me whether my tires will actually roll through the deep ruts they're making...It's late payday and I'm NOT about to risk getting this behemoth stuck. And, yeah, that may not look like much slope to you, but when this bed goes up in the air? Believe me, if I could raise the bed on that slope from far away with remote control, I'd ask you to stand next to the truck while I did it...

  6. #206
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    By golly ixthrock

    I believe you may have planted a seed here

    It may germinate into my next epic ode...

    Yes, I envision a Happy Face peeking out from

    an elephant ferns leaves under palm tree skies

    You open the cover and there it is, a thing of

    beauty entitled...........................

    "A Landscapers Lament"

    smile damn it...I struggled for this one

  7. #207
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    ^

    re remarks above

    sent to those you claim to love

    okie dokie

    artie chokie

    you can snap into it

    just don't forget you

    have to snap out of it.
    When it gets really cold here (which it's supposed to do by tomorrow), it's utter chaos and nothing but headaches. The pipes bust, the internet and phones go out, and (although my house has been fortunate), the power might go out, which means no space heaters, or electric blankets either.

    I enjoy my friends here at JUB (huntneo, redfox, Jerome, summerboy, etc. ...and yes, even you, too Lefty ). Seeing as I'm normally on here almost everyday, I just thought I'd give a heads up. I did get asked, both in threads, and in private comments, where I was during the last cold snap, when I got knocked off the net. I'm just hoping our pipes don't bust this time. They didn't the last time, so let's hope! (fingers crossed...)

    And yes, I love all my friends...


    Y'all take care.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  8. #208
    Back to Creepy Old Fart Yooper's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Not a stupid customer story, but an LOL for the day.

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 543a7bd5-6ae4-431b-ad71-9b0b662dff26.jpg  

  9. #209
    aww I wanted to explode looseliam's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^^ I think that needs a "FAIL" logo!

    Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
    Give a man religion, and he'll starve praying for a fish.

  10. #210
    Be My Baby... Esquire0399's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by huntneo View Post
    ^ I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking at. Are those the anti-theft things they usually put in clothing?
    Sadly, yes.
    "To be nobody but yourself--in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." -- E.E. Cummings

  11. #211
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^
    SMF, SFO, SLC, DEN, LAX, CVG

    Gates, Counters, Clubs even Reservations

    Air Cargo and the 'ramp'.

    They are not really stupid (okay they are)

    but just in an alien reality and their anxieties

    have overridden the I.Q. portions of their brains.

    Be charitable with your thoughts...that way you

    can give freely and for free.

  12. #212
    Back to Creepy Old Fart Yooper's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    While I'm grateful I got to work on the floor today (it was a lovely 40 degrees on the dock today when I arrived, that's a whole other story) I was reminded why although I really don't mind the part of Retail I'm (back) in now, the limited customer contact is pretty cool.

    I was helping with markdowns in Men's today (once upon a time it was my job). A customer came in from the cold looking for pants.

    He was looking for some 'casual pants, you know, the kind with pockets on the legs.'

    (Urm, Cargo Pants are kinda OUT these days. Sorry.)

    I tried to tell him we really don't have exactly that right now, might I show him some nice casual pants/jeans that are perhaps a bit more, urm, modern?

    Apparently he'd come from a Time Warp or something, because he thought to ask where the Parachute Pants were.



    I told him we didn't have any 'right now.' Then he asked what brands of casual pants we carry. (Short answer: most of them. Long answer: Too many to list.)

    I bailed. I saw a salesperson normally assigned to the department and turned the guy over to her. And I went to 'lunch.' At 10 AM.

    (And a good salesperson she is, too. She sold the dude a $95 pair of Polo pants. )

  13. #213
    Sex God mydrew1's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    A man walks into the door asking us where are the belts. I pointed to his left, barely a meter from him. Lol.

  14. #214
    internet junkie JOHN B's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I work retail, and am tempted to start a "stupid managers" thread....but with my luck one of them would be on this....lol....
    <img src=file:///C:/Users/john%20b/Documents/New%20Cleveland%20area%20pics/Cleveland%20view%20stone%20wall.jpg/>

    http://allaroundhere.tumblr.com/

  15. #215
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    John

    There is one of them in existence already. The thread runs through almost
    innumerable corporate forums. It goes by such title as "Moving On Up",
    "Management by Invective" (or objective..I forget), "The Corporate Ladder" ,
    and many similar titles.

    An excellent primer for the working man is "Where do I bury the Bodies"...
    or was it........"I'm Promoted, Where the Hell Did I Bury the Bodies" No Mas,


    Read on Dude, read on.

  16. #216
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by mydrew1 View Post
    A man walks into the door asking us where are the belts. I pointed to his left, barely a meter from him. Lol.
    Oh, we had one guest that came in, and there's snow everywhere. He slid and almost (thankfully didn't) took out one of our gas pumps. Again, thankfully he didn't.

    He then comes in and gives us a tirade because *he* almost runs into the gas pumps. Suddenly it's our fault that the roads are snowed over and slick. Yeah, you caught us, buddy! We put the snow there just to sit back and while you slide, almost wreck out, and damn near total your vehicle.

    My manager was *this* close to throwing him out of the store.

    Yeah, real bright...

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  17. #217
    Slut DBSKIsMine's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I work in the Theme Park industry...not retail.

    Here is a list of random stupid questions I receive on a daily basis:

    • What time is the 3:00 parade?
    • What's the wait time? (As I stand below the sign clearly stating our wait time)
    • Is this a ride or a show? (As I stand next to the sign clearly describing the attraction)
    • Where is stroller parking? (As I stand in front of lines of strollers and next to a giant A-Frame sign that says in 500pt font: STROLLER PARKING)
    • Does this ride go upside down? (You're in a boat)
    • Is this a roller coaster? (After reading the sign next to me stating it is a slow-moving boat ride)
    • What is the wait time for (insert name of attraction clear across the other side of the park)?
    • Is (insert attraction that is any but the one I am currently at) open again?
    • Is the ride closed? (After I've yelled to the large crowd standing in front of the roped off entrance that the attraction is down for technical reasons and we do not know when it will reopen)
    • As a corollary to the above question and a confirmation that the ride is closed, the following questions may be asked: How long is it closed for? What's wrong with it? AND/OR Did someone die?
    • Where can I get (insert obscure food item in a park that has over 20 restaurants)?
    • Where can I buy (insert obscure merchandise item in a park that has over 50 stores)?
    • Where can I meet (insert obscure character that rarely does meet & greets or autograph signings, if at all)?
    • Where is (insert name of attraction that is at a competing park 12 miles northwest of your location)?

  18. #218
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ypu forgot

    why is every thing SO expensive?

    What else is there to do here?

    I paid my monet now what do I get?

    You fucking people are making a fortune off us..(not a ?, statement of fact)

    Do you charge to take a piss too?

    don't you just hate stupid questions?

    I know, I used to be a .............../ or in retail/... the public can be so stupid.

    -------------------------

    Heard any of those?........40 yrs ago buddy, 40 years ago.

    -------------

    oh and my favorites at the airport in 30 yrs.

    Why is the plane Late? (thank goodness I made it, the fog is so thick I couldn't see 6 feet in front of me.)

    Denver airport.....(I'm not joking) What time does the plane get here.

    The woman on the phone said the plane will land at 7 o'clock....what time will it be here in out time?

    Mechanical....well why don't they fix it when we get to Los Angeles

    And my favorite favorite everywhere....ARE YOU SURE?

  19. #219
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Well, in the 7 or so months I've been at my store, I've never had to call the cops on anybody. That changed last night, We had a panhandler woman come in wanting a few bucks for a hit.

    Hitting me up a few nights prior, and hitting my customers up last night. Now, because I'm a nice guy, I did nothing when she asked me (I think last Thursday night?) for a few bucks.

    When I told the night watchman before he came into the store, that she had asked me for money, later, he asked her about it. She turned to me and tried to ask me...and the way she framed the questions, she wanted me to deny what I knew to be the truth, that she did indeed ask me for money.

    I politely told her that it's on tape that she asked me for money. She immediately went off on me, naturally. I raised my voice at her, "Did I not tell you then, and am I not telling you now, that everything we do and say is on camera, Ma'am! It's all on tape! Officer (name censored) didn't have to ask me. He can go into our back office and pull up the tape from a few nights back!"

    While she very slowly got her bag of chips and drink together, she gave me her best 'Go to Hell' look. Which I didn't care.

    I'll do anything within my means to help anybody. But I refuse to lie just to help cover her ass. Sorry. I talked to my manager this morning about it. Not only did my manager back me up, but said that if the woman comes in and does it again, she'll be banned from the store property. She won't even be able to step foot in our parking lot.

    I hope she gets the help she obviously needs.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  20. #220
    JUB Addict roadtripboy's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikami View Post
    I hate when people leave the basket on the floor or some other obscure place around the counter when the stand that they're in is 4 feet behind them. I mean, didn't you get it there in the first place? Is it that hard to put something back where it belongs?

    I can't imagine what some of these peoples living space looks like. Then again they might look fine because they might just be rude people when it doesn't come to their own House/Apartment.
    I've always wondered about this. The supermarket I shop at has 4 self-checks in a pod. Most people who use it are using baskets, not carts.

    You'd think they'd have a basket rack in the middle of the check out pod. It you leave it on the little shelf next to the scanner it's in the way of next customer. It seems natural to put it on the floor under that shelf. But, I sure if that's what they want you to do or not.

    I usually take mine with me and put back in the stack by the door as I leave.

  21. #221
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by roadtripboy View Post
    I usually take mine with me and put back in the stack by the door as I leave.
    I freaking love you for that!!!

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  22. #222
    JUB Addict roadtripboy's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    I freaking love you for that!!!
    That's the most kisses and hugs ever for me on this site. And just for doing something simple. Thanks.

  23. #223
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Roady,

    Just be careful not to drop the soap in the shower.

  24. #224
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    How did you know, Lefty

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  25. #225
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    JD,

    During my travels through parts of Texas, I have been taken to more

    than one 'health' club.

    One was even realistic enough to have a sign posted "CAUTION Drop your

    Soap and Lose more than Hope CAUTION"

    And that was before to got to the cattle ranch or the sheep spread.



  26. #226
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    "CAUTION Drop your Soap and Lose more than Hope CAUTION"
    That is friggin' hilarious!!!

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  27. #227
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^^ Thank you, Huntneo!

    I had one goober come in Friday night. Now, in order to do my job properly, and try and get everything done on my shift, I've established a set routine in the way that I do things. Friday nights I scrub all our coffee pots with table salt and ice, I take an SOS pad to our huge Bunn tea pot, and every other week, I shut down the soda fountain, and clean all of the fountain spigot heads. Well, I also clean our cappucino machine every Friday.

    OK, our hero walks in, sees me at the cappucino machine. The machine is open, and all of the inner plastic parts are taken out. In fact, it's covered in blue SOS pad soap from me scrubbing it. He walks up to me and asks, "Is your cappucino ready?"



    When I tell him that the cappucino machine is closed down for cleaning, he then goes over to our coffee creamer machine that literally says, "MAGICOW FLAVORS AND CREAMERS" in big letters across the top (no where does it say diddly squat about cappucino)...



    ...and has the nerve to ask me, "Does this machine serve cappucino?" DID NOT READ! - FAIL!


    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  28. #228
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Well, my mom had a shoplifter pass through last night. As I've said previously on this thread, my mom is an overnight stocker for one of the regional Walmart Supercenters here, in a neighboring county.

    Well, she worked Health and Beauty and Pharmacy last night. She came across two empty boxes of of the lowest priced condoms that store has. Thing is, whoever stole them didn't need to do that. That particular county's health dept. office will give anyone who asks a small paper sack filled with just about all the condoms you'll need for a good little while, at least. All they'd need to do is show up, and say those 4 magic words, "Hook me up, please."

    Believe me, the health dept. would rather give out free condoms than to have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy, or have to treat somebody's STD.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  29. #229
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Well, I had a doozy last night.

    About 1.30am last night/this morning, I had this one young guy (late teens/early 20s) come in. I wasn't slamming busy per se, but the store was quite bustling. He gets his stuff that he's going to buy and makes his way up to my register. It came to about $10.70 All he had was a $10 bill. OK, no problem. He gives me the $10 bill and goes out to his car to get more money. That's fine. I just cash out the sale and put the $10 bill in my cash register till and think nothing of the matter, assuming that he'll be right back with the rest of the money.

    Then his mom gets out of the car and comes in. She didn't tell him to get the two Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars he did get. So she wants a refund for the Haagen-Dazs. As gently and politely as I know how, I break it to her that we're a convenience store - we don't do refunds.

    She keeps harping on that she doesn't want the merchandise (as if that's supposed to trump the fact that rules are rules, and we still don't do refunds).

    She wants me to call my manager (at 1.30am in the damn morning - SERIOUSLY, LADY?! ). When I politely refuse to do so (it's 1.30am in the damn morning!), she asks me for the manager's phone number. I tell her that we're not allowed to give out co-workers' personal phone numbers, and that that's private info. I tell her that my manager will be in at 5.00am, if she'd like to talk to her. The woman tells me that she'll wait until 5.00am over $10 bucks. She leaves the store and goes back to her car, along with her son and her friend. She cusses me out as she hits the door.

    All 3 of them come back in the store, and the woman asks me to call the police up to the store. You heard me. This lady wants me to call the cops up to the store. For this. Because she can't get her refund.

    I told my assistant manager who came in this morning. And yeah, I did the right thing. No refunds means no refunds. Period.

    Frankly, I would have had more sympathy for her if A) she wasn't so hateful in her attitude, and B) if she was at home and her son came by himself to the store and got the wrong stuff. But no, she was sitting out in their car, just too lazy to physically come inside the store herself and get what she wanted herself.

    And when the police night watchman came up there, shockingly (GASP! ), he told her the same thing I told her. Gee, imagine that?! The assistant manager and I called the store manager this morning, right when I left at 8.00am, and asked her about it, and the store manager said that yes, I did exactly as I was supposed to.

    The fact that she was too lazy to physically come in and get what she wanted instead of sitting in their car right outside the front door, while her son comes in and gets things she doesn't want, at the end of the day, that's not mine or the store's problem. In a convenience store, it is the shopper's responsibility to know what they want, and to buy only those things they actually want. And you'd think that this would be just normal common sense. But I'm finding out more and more in this life that common sense isn't common anymore.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  30. #230
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    (Portions copied from the Journal Thread...)

    So when I get to work, the cashier needs to leave so that she can take her grand-dad to the doctor's because he's got cancer. OK, fine, I'm glad I could pitch in for her. So she leaves at 1.00pm this afternoon, right when I came in. Our store manager (that is not supposed to leave until 2.00pm) decides to leave an hour early.

    Not 10 minutes after she does, my store manager hasn't even made it home from work yet, and the person on pump 5 drives off without paying for their gas - $40 bucks!!!



    It was right after my store manager had left. I see them driving off. I ran out there after them, flailing my arms yelling "WAIT!!!" I was literally where our parking lot physically meets the road. The car is about to take off. I'm now running right behind this red PT Cruiser at break-neck speed. I'm literally about 2 or 3 feet behind the car. If they'd have backed up, I'd have ran slap into their back end, and they'd have probably ran over me. I do catch the license plate number, thought. Now with them right in front of me, they drive off, heading out of town. WTF!!!!! So I'm calling the police, while one of our vendors comes in. Because I don't deal with the vendors on the overnight shift, I don't know that management is supposed to check them in. So I just sign the invoice he gives me and I go on dealing with the customers. I'm slamming busy and everything happened so fast.

    Well, our District Manager calls and asks has *that precise vendor* came yet? I told him, yes, and that I couldn't check him in. I told him that the store manager (who was supposed to be still at work) had left an hour early. And he's like, aw hell!

    To top things off, we had another customer who yet again, couldn't find the self-service coffee pots that are sitting out in the open for all to see, in plain sight. The man and his wife though that our creamer machine dispensed coffee - despite it saying "MAGICOW FLAVORS AND CREAMERS" across the top of the machine.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  31. #231
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Yep, that was my Wednesday in a nutshell.

    Thank you, Huntneo. This job ain't as easy as it looks.

    I don't know what it is, either, but everyone I've talked to had a bad day of some kind, yesterday. WTF?! It wasn't Friday, nor was it the 13th. (Puzzled...)

    On the $40 drive-off, thankfully this is only my second one since I started working there, this last July (2010). And with gas prices going up, oh, brother!

    And with the man and his wife who missed the coffee pots sitting out in the open, I really did have to fight to keep a straight face and not laugh at them. I'm sorry, but how in the sam hell do you miss 3 different coffee maker machines and coffee pots and go for the creamer machine (clearly labeled CREAMER MACHINE) right beside it, thinking, 'Oh, *that's* where the coffee is'?!

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  32. #232
    Slut pohbear's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    i have a stupid question.
    is it me or do most people not know what's in a combo (meal) from the local fast food place ? ! ?

  33. #233
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^^ Naw, the question is fine. No, most people *don't* know. And it's the same darn fries and drink at every fast food joint I've ever been in.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Again with the people with the cell phones, WTF?!

    Again, last night, I had 2 incidences of customers with the cell phones growing out of their ears.

    While I'm making coffee away from the registers, in comes this lady who just hands me money, turns around and leaves. All while yakking away on her cell phone.



    Doesn't speak to me, say hello, ciao baby, or nothing. Doesn't even tell me that she wants gas. I just happen see her car out there as another one is pulling in.

    Then this morning, about 6.00am, this woman comes in. She has some merchandise with her and gas from outside. So I ring her up and tell her her total. She digs in her purse looking for money, and complains about being late - while gabbing away on her cell phone.

    I'm all nice and polite, but I just want to yell at her, "PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN!" She complains about running late, while doing the very thing that is making her run late. Because talking on her cell phone is slowing her down.

    Observation >> I wish that we could do like Subway does - make a rule of "No cell phones at the counter"

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  35. #235
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Airport memories...

    The distinguished gentleman i the expensive suit that was upset when told we
    had a mechanical delay. "Can't you fix it in Los Angeles? No Sir....Whats wrong?
    The #2 Engine is leaking....So? Arent there 3 more?.......Yes Sir but the wings
    won't flap right and the plane can't fly. OH!"

    The lady behind him almost wet her pants.....then he explained the problem to his
    companion and I almost wet mine.

    More to come if anyone is interested.

  36. #236
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    Again with the people with the cell phones, WTF?!

    Again, last night, I had 2 incidences of customers with the cell phones growing out of their ears.

    While I'm making coffee away from the registers, in comes this lady who just hands me money, turns around and leaves. All while yakking away on her cell phone.



    Doesn't speak to me, say hello, ciao baby, or nothing. Doesn't even tell me that she wants gas. I just happen see her car out there as another one is pulling in.

    Then this morning, about 6.00am, this woman comes in. She has some merchandise with her and gas from outside. So I ring her up and tell her her total. She digs in her purse looking for money, and complains about being late - while gabbing away on her cell phone.

    I'm all nice and polite, but I just want to yell at her, "PUT THE DAMN PHONE DOWN!" She complains about running late, while doing the very thing that is making her run late. Because talking on her cell phone is slowing her down.

    Observation >> I wish that we could do like Subway does - make a rule of "No cell phones at the counter"
    Sorry y'all about the wrong thread bomb pic being posted. My fault for signing out of the website before proofreading my post. Shame on me, lol.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  37. #237
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    And I didn't even note it as inappropriate

  38. #238
    Back to Creepy Old Fart Yooper's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Remember, I'm a 'Back of the House' guy but I STILL get stupid customers.

    The phone on my desk rings, itself unusual because anyone actually wanting ME calls on my other line (so much fun to have two extensions! ). On the other end of the line is a Customer telling me she ordered some merchandise a few days ago for her sister and it still hasn't arrived. I ask her a few questions and determine she actually ordered the merchandise as opposed to buying it in the bricks-and-mortar store and having us ship it (a huge fundamental difference).

    I tell her that the merchandise she ordered would be handled by one of our warehouses and not by the store. I refer her to the appropriate phone number and she thanks me.

    About 10 minutes later my desk phone rings again. It is a representative from the order department, asking me about this person's 'order.'

    I explain to the customer service representative that the customer in question ordered the merchandise and didn't buy it in the store to have it shipped. I told the fellow employee that she'd have to search for the customer's order by name on her computer because although at the store level we can order merchandise for customers (as a courtesy) it gets shipped through our internet side of the business and not from the retail location. It's a function called 'search and send' that in some departments we've been doing through computers for over 20 years and through more antique channels for over a frigging Century. And the EMPLOYEE didn't even know that.

    (Yes, at my place if we don't have it in the store but we carry it, we'll find it for you, order it for you and get it for you if it is still available...something we've been doing for over 100 years!)

    She thanked me for the information, found the customer's order rather quickly and told me I taught her something today.

    It kills me that a portion of a company that sells 25 BILLION dollars worth of merchandise a year and that division had a sales increase of 25% last year doesn't understand where a good portion of their sales comes from.


  39. #239
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Huntneo, here's one I know you'd like from earlier this morning...

    I had this disheveled-looking guy come in. He wanted cigarettes - KOOL shorts, to be exact. He didn't have enough on his card to afford the cigs. He asks me, "Well, if I bring the money in the morning...(etc.)" And I'm like, "I'm sorry sir. If you want to take merchandise from this store, it must be paid for right when you get it. That's how stores work. We don't do, 'Buy Now, Pay Later'. If you want it now, you'll have to buy it now."

    Just then, this man and woman pull in. My cigarettes customer goes out there and talks to them. Something told me to go out there and witness it, so I could hear what was being said. Sure enough, he was panhandling them for the rest of the cost of the pack of cigarettes he wanted. The woman gets out of the car and gets into the store. I ask her if she knows the guy asking for money. She tells me that she does, but that he had just gotten paid yesterday (Friday). I ask her if she wants me to call the police. She's like, "No, I can just tell him to go away."

    The panhandler comes in, and goes to her, asking for money. He follows her up to the register where I check her out. She only gets back change - not enough. So she says that she didn't get enough back and tries to blow the panhandler guy off. After I give her her change, she and the panhandler go outside back to her and her boyfriend's car.

    I immediately get on the phone with our local police dept's night watchman. And, it just so happens that he (the night watchman) get off at 4.00am (at which time, the county sherriff's office takes over police protection duties for our town until the next PD officer comes in at 7.00am). I call him up on his personal cell phone number, which he gives to all the convenience stores in town. Turns out he had just gotten off duty and was heading home. (He lives 40 miles away, so it wasn't practical for him to just turn around and come back.)

    I didn't see the panhandler come in when I repeated what the night watchman had told me, that he was off duty. Then I see the panhandler, and realize that he can see me and hear me on the phone. The officer asks me, "Well what to do you need." I'm trying to play it cool, because a situation like this could escalate and I know it. Convenience store clerk is actually one of the most dangerous professions there is, simply because of all the crime (robberies, murders, etc.) that happens in convenience stores.

    So I keep cool. I reply to the officer calmly, "Aw, nothing. I'll see ya' later." I hang up.

    The panhandler asks me, "You weren't calling the police, were you?"

    I know that my response to that question could make or break this whole situation. So what do I do? I take a page from Bugs Bunny's playbook.

    I know that even though the cameras can record what I say, no one ever checks them unless there's a situation (like robbery, major theft, security issue) to come up. So I figure, what the hell? That, and there were no customers in the store at the time.

    Me >> "I was on the phone with my boyfriend."

    The panhandler >> "Boyfriend?! You gay or something?!"

    Me >> "Aw, yeah. Harvey and I have been together for 3 years. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. We're engaged." (I have a ring on my right 3rd finger - a plain, silver titanium spinner I bought for myself to commemorate 100 pounds lost, a few years ago. I show the panhandler the ring.)

    I continue >> "Yeah, Harvey's a security guard. I was just making sure he was going to bring home those handcuffs and chains I like so much."

    The panhandler gives me this weirded-out look, as if I had just stepped off the spaceship from Mars. He replies. "Oh, well, I just remembered that money I had stashed in my other pants. I need to go back home and go get it. So I'll see ya' later." He leaves the store and starts walking down the street into town; and thankfully, doesn't come back. If you can't beat 'em, join'em.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  40. #240
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Back when I was a cashier at Dollar Tree, I took a second (evening) job as a counter person at Taco Bell. And, I gotta tell ya', it taught me a whole new respect for people who work in food service. Props to any jubbers who work or have worked in restaurants before.

    Now, the Taco Bell where I worked was on the southeast corner of the county courthouse square. Our Black Friday was not the day after Thanksgiving. No, our Black Friday is always the last Friday in May. On that night, two major town events happen >> The Fiddler's Festival, held on that evening every year, right at the courthouse square, and high school graduation. Both events on one freaking busy night. For that night, it's like the busiest night of the entire year for that particular Taco Bell location. So busy that asking off for that night is strictly forbidden.

    And guess who has to work that night. Little old me.

    From the time I walk in (6.15pm) until about 12.45am later that night, I do not move out from behind the register.

    Our dining room is a mosh pit of wall-to-wall people. The noise itself, sounds like any given busy day on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. The tile on our dining room floor is 1 square foot. And just about every square of tile had somebody's foot on it.

    OMG, the Grande Meals we sold - per order! I bring this up just to give you an idea our food did not have time to sit around and get stale, or anything like that. We are constantly having orders flying out, and we are constantly doing money hand over fist.

    So in comes this big, tall guy. He wants a burrito. OK. We sell him his burrito. He comes back. "These beans are stale!" We try to tell the man that we've been so busy that our food hasn't had time to just sit around and get stale. He won't hear of it.

    So, to please this guy, we make a fresh batch of beans - never mind that that we have about 150 to 200 other people in our dining room and each one has ordered an average of about $15 to $20 bucks each (and some orders were $50 and up). Never mind that we were all up to our ears in work, we make a fresh batch of beans for this guy's burrito.

    And the thanks we get for it?... "These beans are burnt!" I'm on the counter, taking orders. He tries to interrupt another guest who is putting in his order. I'm polite, but I'm like, naw, buddy, not happening.

    I finally get to him. We, the staff decide to give him two more burritos - the one he ordered, and a free one, just to get the guy out of our hair. Thankfully it worked.

    I lasted at Taco Bell two weeks, before I threw in the towel. I admit I had bit off more than I could chew by taking the job.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  41. #241
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I had one winner come in, last night. Woman comes in and buys a scratch-off lottery ticket. Asks me what to do. Nevermind that the instructions tell her what to do. "If one of Your Numbers match any of the Winning Numbers, then you win the prize for that number." Did not read - Fail.

    I wanted to go so badly, "OK, which turnip truck did you fall out of?"

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  42. #242
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by huntneo View Post
    And I definitely would not have lasted at that Taco Bell for that long! lol I did work at McDonald's for a year and some change back when I was in high school. It actually wasn't that stressful though, because we didn't have a drive thru to worry about.
    OMG, was McDonald's like Taco Bell - did they make you all memorize the entire menu? At Taco Bell, you're actually required to take a test every so often on the menu items - what goes on what, etc. If you fail it too many times, they can actually fire you over it. Before I worked there, I thought "Hell's Kitchen" was just a reality show. I didn't realize that it's actually like that in about every food service operation out there.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  43. #243
    Sex God jdbadboy's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    What time does the six o'clock show start?


    From my first job working at a movie theater.

  44. #244
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^

    sadly JD,


    that isn't always as stupid as it reads here. More better was the guy that

    was pissed when he couldn't get the Saturday night special...........at

    yep, you guessed it........Sunday /brunch.

  45. #245
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I had meant to post this this morning, but I was already half-asleep. But here are some winners from the past few weeks...

    This one woman who comes in at 11pm on my shift to cash in her tickets. Now even though our store's lottery machine legally *has* to shut down at Midnight, our manager has given both the other overnight guy and myself the authority to shut it down at 11pm. We simply have too many chores to do on the night shift to be standing behind the register cashing in people's lottery tickets when we could be out on the sales floor dusting, making coffee, cleaning the soda fountain, or the 10,000 other things we have to get done. (Customers or no customers, we still have a 4.00am deadline to have everything done by. So my time really is precious.) Now, our lottery is open from 6am until 11pm. That's 17 hours out of a 24 hour day. She has 17 hours a day to cash in lottery tickets at our store, and she wants to wait until 11pm at night? Really? And, the thing is, we're not the only establishment in my small town that sells lottery: There are two other convenience store that does lottery, along with our town's supermarket. Four different businesses and a max of 17 hours per day that at least one of those businesses can cash in her lottery tickets. But, no, she wants to wait until the dark of night to do it? I don't think so.

    I've had a few cell phone talkers. My manager says she'd wish they quit treating us just like inhuman vending machines that they simply give money to, then turn around and walk off.

    And every morning, because we are a 24 hour convenience store, we have to shut down temporarily, and transitition from the previous business day to the next one. It requires that I (as the overnight cashier) count down all the money in my cash register as if I'm going home for the day, then the manager or assistant manager (who's ever working that morning) comes in and prints the sales reports from both of our cash registers for their paperwork that they have to do. It's a 10 to 15 minute process, and it happens every morning at 4.00am without fail. And we don't get a choice - we HAVE to do it. Now you'd think that the people who would gripe and complain about having to wait on us to finish would be the night travellers from out of town who are just passing through. And you'd be dead wrong. In fact, the regulars who are locals that live here, come up to our store every morning, and every morning, our story doesn't change - We still HAVE to shut down our registers. OMG the stink these people raise.

    One guy asked me that when he pays with a debit card, can he get cash back. I reply slowly and clearly, "Yes sir. You can get up to $25 cash back." He asks back, "So, can I get $10 back?" And the beat goes on...

    And then, there's the customers who don't listen. Because our debit machine pinpads are different from most other establishments, I walk people through with very easy instructions. The cash back question comes up. I ask the customer myself about cash back. Ususally no, and I tell them to hit the RED button. A child could understand the directions I give, but apparently not some idiot young guys who came throught the other night. I tell them to hit the red button, so naturally they hit green. :rotflamo: And then they say, "Oh, I though you said green." Smartasses...


    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  46. #246
    In Loving Memory Lefty's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Scene....

    Can I gert cash back?

    Yes, up to $25.00

    So, can I get $10.00 back
    --------
    now, how big are your balls?
    -------------

    a. Yes Sir but I have to keep the $15.00 as a service charge.

    b. Look very serious, and thoughtful. Pick up phone and make

    dialing gestures...pause, take a deep breath and say into fun

    Mr./Ms Manager, I have a customer here who only wants $10.00 back

    Can we do that?
    -------------

    Well JD....whatcha think? Can I get a job back in retail?

  47. #247
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    now, how big are your balls?
    I think I've already posted my big balls, but...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lefty View Post
    a. Yes Sir but I have to keep the $15.00 as a service charge.

    b. Look very serious, and thoughtful. Pick up phone and make

    dialing gestures...pause, take a deep breath and say into fun

    Mr./Ms Manager, I have a customer here who only wants $10.00 back

    Can we do that?
    -------------

    Well JD....whatcha think? Can I get a job back in retail?
    I think I'd go with A, simply to be a smartass without waking up my boss. And, I need the money, anyway, so...

    And believe me, Lefty, you wouldn't WANT to work in retail. I've done this for almost 10 years now, and why I haven't been declared legally insane yet is beyond me.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  48. #248
    On the Prowl YeaBaby2010's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    For me working in fast food industry is to be completely honest: hell. I work at McDonalds where its literally the only resturant in town. So of course we are busy 24/7, its a small town so everyone comes here. But the funniest customers are the broke down, red neck, cousin humping, no teeth smiling customers. I work every shift, so of course I deal with this bat-shit crazy everyday. So yesterday was a regular 4am to 1pm shift, pretty easy, but at 5am we get this guy in drive thru, mind you that we dont open until 6am. Of course he is screaming in the microphone that he wants food. I get on the line and tell him we open at 6. So he drives off, about 3 hours later, he comes back. He preceeds to go through the line and come to my window.
    I open and ask how can I help you. He preceeds to tell me that he got food from the neighboring city and he would like a refund because: A. it was cold and B. he didnt want all this.
    Ok so we dont make refunds for other McDonalds stores, so I open the bag and inside is Sonics Tatter Tots and I believe a half of sausage biscuit. So I get my manager, she tells him the same thing and hands him the food back. He preceeds to throw the food at the window and call me a "Stupid Whore"

    That is a badge of honor.

  49. #249
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by YeaBaby2010 View Post
    For me working in fast food industry is to be completely honest: hell. I work at McDonalds where its literally the only resturant in town. So of course we are busy 24/7, its a small town so everyone comes here. But the funniest customers are the broke down, red neck, cousin humping, no teeth smiling customers. I work every shift, so of course I deal with this bat-shit crazy everyday. So yesterday was a regular 4am to 1pm shift, pretty easy, but at 5am we get this guy in drive thru, mind you that we dont open until 6am. Of course he is screaming in the microphone that he wants food. I get on the line and tell him we open at 6. So he drives off, about 3 hours later, he comes back. He preceeds to go through the line and come to my window.
    I open and ask how can I help you. He preceeds to tell me that he got food from the neighboring city and he would like a refund because: A. it was cold and B. he didnt want all this.
    Ok so we dont make refunds for other McDonalds stores, so I open the bag and inside is Sonics Tatter Tots and I believe a half of sausage biscuit. So I get my manager, she tells him the same thing and hands him the food back. He preceeds to throw the food at the window and call me a "Stupid Whore"

    That is a badge of honor.
    Welcome aboard, YeaBaby2010!

    Stories like yours are why I have the utmost respect for people who work in food service, especially fast food. The sheer character it takes to be polite to some of these people and not do what you really want to do (rare back and knock hell out of them) is a type of character most people don't possess.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Here's a doozy.

    Retail Shoplifter's and Defrauder's Rule #36 >> "When trying to return something, make sure you have your facts straight first."
    Retail Shoplifter's and Defrauder's Rule #37 >> "When trying to return a food item, claiming it's out of date, make sure it ***actually IS*** out of date, first. /facepalm

    OK. So one of my co-workers had this guy come in yesterday, when I just happened to be in there at the time. He claim that one of the regional daries here in Texas, Oak Farms, had recalled the gallon jug of milk he bought from us. The man says that his wife had heard about it on the news. She didn't know what to do, so she had called our store manager.

    Our manager says that she hadn't received any kind of recall notice on our milk (we sell Oak Farms milk at my store), and that there isn't anything we can do. Well then, the man tries to say that the milk is out of date - right when my co-worker is looking right at the date - It's still good! So after my co-worker refuses to give back the man's supposed money, and the man leaves, I go home and look up the recall on the internet.

    Somebody didn't get their facts straight first...

    Turns out this recall only applies to the half-pint cartons of chocolate milk - not to the gallon jug that the man brought in. And even then, you had to have bought the milk only in certain specific towns across the state of Texas as outlined in the Oak Farms press release, because Oak Farms has the ability to know which towns and which stores and businesses got sent the bad milk.

    Needless to say, not only is my town not on the list of specified cities that the recalled milk had to be bought from, at my store, we don't even carry that small size of milk that's being recalled!!! All we carry are the gallons and half-gallons.

    Honestly, some of these people make my head hurt. /double facepalm

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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