Now that this work rotation is in the books, this last week's stories...
Not "stupid customers", more like outrageous and folks that make you scratch your head.
Like the hooker that came in my store and was embarrassed to buy condoms. How'd I know she was a hooker? Well, she came up to my counter with the condoms. She was very well dressed, in a short skirt, boots, and everything. She was self conscious about wanting to look good. I reply back, "Ma'am, you look gorgeous! You look like a million bucks."
She replied back, "This getup better make me a million bucks..."
This woman was literally a hooker on the way to a client, and stopped by us to get condoms on the way. But when she came in, she was like, "I need THAT aisle..." I understood what she meant, as we keep our condoms, pregnancy tests, and other sexual goods inside a locked display case, because my store is so high theft.
In a separate, unrelated incident, I had another woman come through, who was embarrassed to buy condoms. Honestly, I think she was uncomfortable buying the condoms because I'm a guy - which I actually get. Me, myself, I'm actually more comfortable around other men, than I am with women, especially when it comes topics of a personal nature like sex. So I completely understood where she was coming from.
I tried to be as polite and diplomatic, but at the same time, somewhat dispassionate about the fact that, omg, she's buying rubbers!!!
I told her, "Ma'am, I've been in this business for almost 12 years - it's just merchandise. I don't care what you buy or what you're using it for. We're just grateful for the purchase, and that you chose to spend your hard-earned dollar here." She laughed nervously...
And I think that's one of those no-win situations, the whole Y-chromosome thing. She just would have been more comfortable with a female cashier.
What I don't get is that you're embarrassed to buy condoms, but yet and still, you're about to go home (either yours or the guy's), jump on top of a man and ride 'em cowgirl. Do you know how much I actually wish I were in your shoes right now? - Just because do I want to bust my butt pulling a 10-hour shift, or would I rather go home to a guy and get laid? Tough decision there, I know.
Then Tuesday night, this girl came through with her friend. She wasn't even trying to hide it - she was horny as hell. I'm not kidding. She saw this guy in a red Ole Miss hoodie. Ole Miss checked out and left a few minutes before they came up. He was clean cut, reasonably cute. But then her and her friend come up, and she starts questioning me, "Did you see him?" "Who?" I ask. "That guy," she repies. "What guy?" Then she starts describing Ole Miss. She literally blurts out that she wanted to pick him up and take him home. She was just as sexually aggressive as she could be. She wasn't bashful about it or anything. But for all her bark, she ended up not having the bite to back it up with. She ended up being too shy to go up and talk to him.
After I'd told her that he'd already left, I absolutely wouldn't hear the end of it until both girls left. Ma'am, no more tequila for you, honey. Just sayin'...