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  1. #601
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Now that this work rotation is in the books, this last week's stories...

    Not "stupid customers", more like outrageous and folks that make you scratch your head.

    Like the hooker that came in my store and was embarrassed to buy condoms. How'd I know she was a hooker? Well, she came up to my counter with the condoms. She was very well dressed, in a short skirt, boots, and everything. She was self conscious about wanting to look good. I reply back, "Ma'am, you look gorgeous! You look like a million bucks."

    She replied back, "This getup better make me a million bucks..."



    This woman was literally a hooker on the way to a client, and stopped by us to get condoms on the way. But when she came in, she was like, "I need THAT aisle..." I understood what she meant, as we keep our condoms, pregnancy tests, and other sexual goods inside a locked display case, because my store is so high theft.

    In a separate, unrelated incident, I had another woman come through, who was embarrassed to buy condoms. Honestly, I think she was uncomfortable buying the condoms because I'm a guy - which I actually get. Me, myself, I'm actually more comfortable around other men, than I am with women, especially when it comes topics of a personal nature like sex. So I completely understood where she was coming from.

    I tried to be as polite and diplomatic, but at the same time, somewhat dispassionate about the fact that, omg, she's buying rubbers!!!

    I told her, "Ma'am, I've been in this business for almost 12 years - it's just merchandise. I don't care what you buy or what you're using it for. We're just grateful for the purchase, and that you chose to spend your hard-earned dollar here." She laughed nervously...

    And I think that's one of those no-win situations, the whole Y-chromosome thing. She just would have been more comfortable with a female cashier.

    What I don't get is that you're embarrassed to buy condoms, but yet and still, you're about to go home (either yours or the guy's), jump on top of a man and ride 'em cowgirl. Do you know how much I actually wish I were in your shoes right now? - Just because do I want to bust my butt pulling a 10-hour shift, or would I rather go home to a guy and get laid? Tough decision there, I know.

    Then Tuesday night, this girl came through with her friend. She wasn't even trying to hide it - she was horny as hell. I'm not kidding. She saw this guy in a red Ole Miss hoodie. Ole Miss checked out and left a few minutes before they came up. He was clean cut, reasonably cute. But then her and her friend come up, and she starts questioning me, "Did you see him?" "Who?" I ask. "That guy," she repies. "What guy?" Then she starts describing Ole Miss. She literally blurts out that she wanted to pick him up and take him home. She was just as sexually aggressive as she could be. She wasn't bashful about it or anything. But for all her bark, she ended up not having the bite to back it up with. She ended up being too shy to go up and talk to him.

    After I'd told her that he'd already left, I absolutely wouldn't hear the end of it until both girls left. Ma'am, no more tequila for you, honey. Just sayin'...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Did You See What I Just Saw.jpg  

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  2. #602
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Dear retail workers,

    do you feel like you NEED to approach walk-in customers and ask them, "Hi Sir, Mdm, can I help you?"


    Do you have to speak this golden line every day to almost every customers and gets sick and tired of it??


    And how do you feel........ when most of the time, they just said, " I'm just browsing and looking around. Thanks anyway."

  3. #603
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by travis82 View Post
    Dear retail workers,

    do you feel like you NEED to approach walk-in customers and ask them, "Hi Sir, Mdm, can I help you?"


    Do you have to speak this golden line every day to almost every customers and gets sick and tired of it??


    And how do you feel........ when most of the time, they just said, " I'm just browsing and looking around. Thanks anyway."
    It's my philosophy that every customer indeed ought to be greeted. One of the aspects of working an open to the public job is that, to a man/woman, you never know who is going to walk in that front door at any given point in the day or night. You never know what's going on inside people's heads. You never know what's going on in people's lives. Sometimes, quite literally, going to a place of business where the employees are friendly, and provide good customer service may literally be the only act of human kindness that person sees that day, or for quite a while. - Having worked in supermarkets and with Walmart, I've come across some people where this actually was the case. In this day and age, where you can buy even grocery staples and pizza delivery online, and not have to see a soul through the whole process, one of the reasons why people like physical brick-and-mortar stores is simply human interaction with other people.

    Also, in my particular store location, greeting every customer lets them know that you know that they're there. This is also an anti-theft tool - shoplifters will think twice if they know that store employees know of their physical presence in the store.

    I don't get sick of it per se, as much as I get sick of hearing myself talk so much. But I know I have to do it, and that it's part of my job.

    As for the last question, I take no offense at all. I tell customers that my name is Joe, and if they need anything, just let me know. Part of the purpose behind that greeting is to make yourself available to the customer guest, in the event that they do need something. People have enough stress in their lives as it is. Part of our job is to make the shopping process as easy and as low-stress/stress free as we flawed humans can make it.

    If you walk in to my store, I personally want you to know that, no matter how simple or complicated your shopping trip may be, I will bring every resource at my disposal to bear, to make sure that you, the customer, get from my store what you came in to get.

    It's all about taking proper care of customer guests. And frankly, happy customers means a work shift for me that is a lot less stressful, and goes by lots faster.

    Thanks very much for the question.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  4. #604
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    People are shitbags and accuse me of shit all the time.

    Recently I had a customer say I broke his beer bottles and "didn't even apologize".

    Why the hell would I apologize? He grabbed his bag and drug it off the counter where it came out of his hand and shattered on the floor.

    Did the customer forget that I offered to replace HIS purchase that he just bought? No, he was just interested in blaming someone else for his own incompetence.

    Another incredible customer said I "threw their receipt on the floor", what really happened was I went to hand the receipt to the customer, and them being a mile long, you can almost paraglide with our receipts. It caught the air and didnt cut off the machine - so it slipped out from between my fingers. I even said that I was sorry because that has never happened, but no, people don't care they just care about expressing their own fucked up mentality than to admit how rude and inconsiderate they are.

    Another amazing fuck up customer said I didn't give him his receipt, he had it the whole fucking time! They always have it the whole fucking time, I never forget to give receipt, and it is your job to get one not mine. We are not a place that guarantees you will get a receipt, we have other ways of tracking it not to mention im still standing right here! Why the fuck would you make shit up about me not giving you a receipt unless your a fuckup dumbass?

    lately people have been very rude, very needy, and they PURPOSELY abuse us because they KNOW we are not generally allowed to express our own feelings about how they are treating us.

    good people are getting harder and harder to find, the longer you put up with 'the public' the more you start to question, is this what society has become?
    Last edited by evanrick; October 17th, 2013 at 02:40 AM.


  5. #605
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ Oh, there'll be plenty more popcorn moments as we head in to Christmas - dig your heels in, and hunker down.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Some fucker tried to short me $10. His tally came to $41-something. He said in a really loud voice: HERE'S A TWENTY, A TEN AND A ONE FOR YOU!, all the while smiling coyly. He was trying to distract me by putting on an act of some kind...can't say what his tactic was though (charm?). So, I curtly barked back, "But where's the ten?". He immediately produced it as if he was expecting the ruse to fail. I know some make honest oversights when paying; this sack of shit was trying to screw me but it felt good that I cock-blocked his diversion.
    If you could just put a light bulb over every gay person’s head, people would see just how well-lit their streets and cities are.
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  7. #607
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ Good work. Do be careful - the distraction artist and other charlatans will very much try to pull all kinds of shit over the next 10 weeks.

    They will stop at nothing to get one over on anyone.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  8. #608
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by travis82 View Post
    Dear retail workers,

    do you feel like you NEED to approach walk-in customers and ask them, "Hi Sir, Mdm, can I help you?"


    Do you have to speak this golden line every day to almost every customers and gets sick and tired of it??


    And how do you feel........ when most of the time, they just said, " I'm just browsing and looking around. Thanks anyway."
    At my store we are scored on asking if people need help. Thing is there are those that do need help but wont ever ask, as much as I get a person saying they don't need help I get customers that do and they never intended to ask. I always catch them wondering around looking around the aisles.

    Quote Originally Posted by evanrick View Post
    People are shitbags and accuse me of shit all the time.
    To be honest people tend to be scummy, especially when actually trying to rip you off.

    Today a person came in and went to use are photo machine. The cashier lady that runs the front/photo went up to a separate kiosk the lady wasn't using and as she did this, the "customer" flipped the photos she was trying to copy. So the cashier let her know that we aren't allowed to copy Professional Photos, lady gets irritated and raises her voice saying there are her Photos and all this stuff. The cashier flipped one of the pictures to check if they were professional pictures and they unsurprisingly were. She started screaming and hollering, becoming belligerent. We had to call the Police.

  9. #609
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I actually enjoy it if someone offers help and then goes away when I decline, as I almost always do. I enjoy the pleasure of browsing and I don't need a tour guide for that. But if they have said hello, I know I can ask them if I have a question or if I can't find something .

  10. #610
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^I too prefer a friendly staff member, even if you don't want help, at least if they have said hello you know that they are approachable if you need help later. As opposed to some miserable bastards who treat you like the worst person in the world for interrupting them.
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    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Just a heads up if anyone has been seeing this on facebook cause I saw it re-posted twice already. There is a story people are sharing about how cashiers are "scamming" people by putting through cash back for the customer when they use debit to steal money from the customer. The problem with this story is that is not true, cash back options only appear on the debit reader that the customer uses. It does not come up on the cashiers screen at all, they have absolutely no control over it. This is how it works at my store and many other retail places.

    You don't have to worry about using your debit card at these places because you have full control on whether you want cash back or not, the cashier cannot put through cash back at all.

  12. #612
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    Just a heads up if anyone has been seeing this on facebook cause I saw it re-posted twice already. There is a story people are sharing about how cashiers are "scamming" people by putting through cash back for the customer when they use debit to steal money from the customer. The problem with this story is that is not true, cash back options only appear on the debit reader that the customer uses. It does not come up on the cashiers screen at all, they have absolutely no control over it. This is how it works at my store and many other retail places.

    You don't have to worry about using your debit card at these places because you have full control on whether you want cash back or not, the cashier cannot put through cash back at all.
    @MDL, thank you for this!

    I can vouch for what MDL is saying - it's 110% the truth. We live in a (mostly) cashless society. Period. This is 2013. Debit card is the number 1 form of payment at most places of business - it's traceable and much safer than carrying raw paper cash (especially if you live in the city, like I do). As such, most retailers are aggressively updating their cash register systems with more modern technology designed to both streamline the checkout process AND put the customer in complete and total control of the payment process.

    Example - at my store, we're actually taking donations, since it's October, for breast cancer, for Susan G Komen For The Cure. But the donation option comes on the pinpad screen on the customer's end, when they pay out - we as cashiers don't even have to ask the customer if they'd like to donate. The touchscreen pinpad machine asks them itself. You swipe your card like always, then, the first question is the donation question. Simply answer yay or nay, and move on - the customer is in control. We cashiers do nothing.

    Even in restaurants, nowadays, they're actually starting to come out with wireless machines where you can use your debit or credit card to pay for your meal right at your table - you don't have to even give your card to the waiter or waitress anymore - again, it's about putting the customer in control of the payment process. Nothing will be charged to you unless you authorize it.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post

    Even in restaurants, nowadays, they're actually starting to come out with wireless machines where you can use your debit or credit card to pay for your meal right at your table - you don't have to even give your card to the waiter or waitress anymore - again, it's about putting the customer in control of the payment process. Nothing will be charged to you unless you authorize it.
    Saw this at Red Robin restaurant one night when I was eating out. There was a little touch screen device where you can actually see your bill immediately and like you said pay right there. It was pretty neat.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ I want to eat at Red Robin just for that.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I love when customers assume that since they said they called the corporate office that it means I will do what they say or makes me believe them. If someone calls the corporate office about something, the District Manager will call our store and notify us about it.

    Some guy yesterday was trying to buy 5 credit card Gift Cards, $500 each, with a credit card. My cashier turned it down, then the guy asked for the Manager on duty (Me). I came up and told him "No" as well. So then he tells me that he called our Company and they said we were allowed to do it. I told him I didn't hear about any of this from them or even my Store Manager, he keeps insisting this. So I call my Store Manager up and of course she tells me "No" as well. When I tell him this he just ends up leaving.

    Even if there is truth to him calling our Company, I highly doubt he even told them the amount of cards and the amount he was going to put on them. Besides the fact that he didn't use any names of the people who apparently told him it was ok, when actual scammers have tried to use the DM's name to scam.

  16. #616
    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    I love when customers assume that since they said they called the corporate office that it means I will do what they say or makes me believe them. If someone calls the corporate office about something, the District Manager will call our store and notify us about it.

    Some guy yesterday was trying to buy 5 credit card Gift Cards, $500 each, with a credit card. My cashier turned it down, then the guy asked for the Manager on duty (Me). I came up and told him "No" as well. So then he tells me that he called our Company and they said we were allowed to do it. I told him I didn't hear about any of this from them or even my Store Manager, he keeps insisting this. So I call my Store Manager up and of course she tells me "No" as well. When I tell him this he just ends up leaving.

    Even if there is truth to him calling our Company, I highly doubt he even told them the amount of cards and the amount he was going to put on them. Besides the fact that he didn't use any names of the people who apparently told him it was ok, when actual scammers have tried to use the DM's name to scam.
    Scammers, if you're going to scam, scam right!
    Nowadays, with stores selling credit card gift cards from Green Dot, NetSpend, Visa/Vanilla, American Express, as well as gift cards to other places of business (restaurants, and other non-competitive stores), one of the first things you are taught about gift cards when you work in retail is to watch out for people attempting to buy multiple gift cards at the same time - especially the credit card gift cards. Because those credit card gift cards can be used as a tool to accomplish money laundering.

    Now highlights from last night...

    >> I had one woman chew me out about the bathrooms. A couple weeks ago on my last work rotation, it was told to me that apparently, my immediate supervisor - the night assistant manager I work with - apparently wasn't doing a good enough job of cleaning the restrooms himself, because he'd said that our store manager had gotten too many complaints about it. So going forward, the task was to be delegated to me. I don't mind doing this - my other job is that I'm a housekeeper, so it's another day at the office for me. (But my night assistant was not thrilled that he had to delegate that to me.)

    Now I'm back there cleaning the restrooms. I'd cleaned the men's, I'd cleaned the women's. And while I was in the maintenance closet drawing up a mop bucket of bleach water to mop the floors with, this woman comes up to use the ladies' room. I let her in (we have keypad combination locks on our restrooms - high-theft store), and finished drawing up my mop bucket. She comes out and barks at me - "If you're going to clean the restrooms, clean them right! I went in there, and the seat was absolutely drenched in bleach!" (Was there not any toilet paper in there to wipe the seat off first? - There actually was, and plenty of it.)

    That bleach she smelled was actually Tilex bathroom cleaner - what we use to clean the restrooms with. The way I do it is I scrub the toilet bowl, spray the seat, wipe the seat down, and then spray the seat again with the Tilex and let it air dry. I told my night assistant this is exactly what I did. My night assistant is cool as shit. He tells me that yes, the woman said something to him about my cleaning the restrooms. I told him what I'd done. He told me (and these are his words, not mine), "If you sprayed the toilet seat a second time, and it was meant to air dry, then it wasn't meant for her to sit her double-wide right on top of it!"

    >> Then, we had these 3 regulars come in at 5am, two guys and a girl. One of the guys and the girl were husband and wife, and the tall, skinny blonde guy was a friend of theirs. Both of the guys were drunk off their ass, and the girl was the DD. Turns out was the couple's 4th wedding anniversary. The two guys were being kind of loud and crazy (they were drunk). The blonde guy got the girl with a can of spray glitter (they actually ended up paying for), and she's like, "I have glitter titties, now..." And the couple were talking about all of their personal stuff. Aparently, they have an open relationship. I think to myself, "Y'all do what you do... #tmi..."

    At one point, when I was straightening merchandise down the Halloween aisle, the two guys come up to me, and the blonde guy tries to talk to me about something, and he's drunk as a skunk. He literally starts getting up close to me - way close, like over my right shoulder. I seriously thought about actually kissing him just to freak him the fuck out. (I later told my night assistant this, and he thought it was hilarious - he's like, "I'd give you $10 bucks if you did!") I didn't though. I kept thinking to myself, "You're cute and all, but you're drunk, and I'm on the clock, so yeah just no."

    There are passive aggressive people, and then there's me - passive evil. I've learned that sometimes, the worst thing you can do to a person is give them exactly what they wish for, give them exactly what they want. Even though I'm not actively hunting for a man at the moment, I also wouldn't turn you down if you made a move. And if you're constantly hovering over me and right over my right shoulder, up in my personal space, honestly, that did kinda turn me on a bit. Just putting that out there.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers



    So last night, our sexual harasser creep was back, causing trouble again.

    He likes to walk up to women and say completely inappropriate things to them, and make them feel uncomfortable, as if he actually wants to rape them. He's a short little twerp of a guy, but he can get in these women's head and screw with them like that.

    So I was at the front register waiting customers when, unbeknownst to me, a situation had unfolded at the back of the store. He had apparently approached a woman and said something to make her feel uncomfortable. Her boyfriend - this over 6ft tall Hispanic husky gentleman was on the next aisle or somewhere nearby. I could tell that he'd have mopped the floor with the guy if he'd had the chance.

    So the couple checkout and leave. Several other customers checkout and leave, and my night assistant manager tells me to watch him. So I do, as best I can while at the front.

    My manager escorts several female guests who are alone out to their cars for safety, after they checkout.

    Then, this loser comes up. He doesn't ever buy anything of any consequence - just some snacks or a drink. I mean, he's not one of these customers who spends a windfall every time he comes in. Quite the opposite, it's always something petty. Last night, he got a $0.69 cent stick of string cheese, and that was it.

    So I just politely ask him, "So, is that everything you're getting, tonight?"
    Him: "Yeah."
    Me: "Sure?"
    Him: "Yeah."
    Me: "OK, that'll be $0.69 cents please."
    I tender the transaction and give him the receipt. For this next part, I don't even raise my voice, and just stay with a very conversational tone of voice. And my manager is right beside me when I say this, too.
    Me: "All righty. Get the hell up out my store, and don't let me see you back here for the rest of the night. If I do, I'll just call Dallas Police, and they'll take you downtown to Lew Sterrett (the county jail), and you can spend the night there. K? " (with that cheerful customer service smile, cool as a cucumber)

    He gathers his shit up, walks towards the door, turns around and says, "I don't like the way you talk to me."

    That's when my night manager just tells him, that the woman he harassed, her boyfriend was about to come over and beat his ass. You can't be coming in here harassing customers.

    So yeah, I have the authority to kick someone out of the store like that. I can't ban anyone, because I'm not management, but I can kick him out, and I did exactly that.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails achievement[1].gif  

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Fellow retail workers, BE ON THE LOOK OUT!!!

    Stopped a fake $100 bill this morning. Not one of the new ones that just came out but one of the current generation ones, that look similar to the 5s,10s, 20s and 50s.

    After 12 year of doing this business and handling cash money, I'm actually surprised that I picked up on it just by feeling it. But it felt weird. I looked down at it. It looked like a $100. I held it up to the light - no magnetic strip. I saw the ghost watermark face on the right, but I couldn't tell whose face it was.

    In real bills, there would be a vertical magnetic strip that repeatedly says, "USA 100 USA 100 USA 100..."

    It is definitely the Christmas shenanigans season.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Stupidest item either stolen or attempted to be stolen last night/this morning: A roll of Bounty paper towels.

    An old store manager, an elderly woman I used to work under once told me, "People will steal your dirty, used underwear, if they have half a chance." I see now, she was absolutely right!

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I was baby sitting one of our self-checks, this one across from the jewelry department. A woman brings me a watch with a security wire attached to it. She says: "there wasn't anybody in jewelry so I forced open the case and got this watch out myself."

    Now, what was I supposed to say to that?!?!

    In fact there was someone in jewelry. I can see her from where I'm standing. She's helping other customers. This woman just didn't want to wait her turn.

    Anyway, it's a $20 watch, but I don't have anything to cut the wire attached to it. So, I go show it the customer service manager. She gives me her "you've got to be kidding look" and says: "She can't do that". Then cuts the wire and hands it back to me.

    She broke into a locked case for a $20 watch! Could someone explain that to me?

  21. #621

    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by roadtripboy View Post
    I was baby sitting one of our self-checks, this one across from the jewelry department. A woman brings me a watch with a security wire attached to it. She says: "there wasn't anybody in jewelry so I forced open the case and got this watch out myself."

    Now, what was I supposed to say to that?!?!

    In fact there was someone in jewelry. I can see her from where I'm standing. She's helping other customers. This woman just didn't want to wait her turn.

    Anyway, it's a $20 watch, but I don't have anything to cut the wire attached to it. So, I go show it the customer service manager. She gives me her "you've got to be kidding look" and says: "She can't do that". Then cuts the wire and hands it back to me.

    She broke into a locked case for a $20 watch! Could someone explain that to me?
    The locks on your jewelry cases are that flimsy??????? That's kind of a "wtf" in itself.
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    JUB Addict roadtripboy's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^Yeah, not the most secure place in the world.

    But, the funny thing (to me at least) is: By bringing it to me, me looking for customer service manager then going back to wait on her. It took more time than if she had just waited her turn.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ That's usually how it works, and it served her right.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Not a "stupid customer" story, but it still fits here under "Taxicab Retail Confessions"... (for those of you who remember the old HBO reality documentary series - I loved that show, and honestly, I'm finding that retail is a lot like that show...)

    This guy comes in...
    "Good evening, welcome to (store name). How are you?"
    "Fine thanks. My girlfriend wants a dirty magazine. Do you guys sell those?"

    Inside my head...


    What I actually say >> "I'm sorry sir, we don't. The 7-Eleven across the street may have some."
    "Thanks..." then leaves...

    /dies laughing inside my head...

    If he's asking for his girlfriend, then I hypothesize that his girlfriend would want an adult magazine with naked men, instead of naked women. If that's the case, I have a ton of old skin mags I'm sure his gf would love.

    But, no, we don't sell adult magazines of any kind. I know my store's slogan is Happy and Healthy, but I'm sure, not quite that "happy".

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Again with the angst over sexually-natured items.

    So last night, on the last night of this last rotation, my manager meets this couple at our condom display case - we keep them locked for obvious reasons.

    One guy asks my manager in front of his gf, "Do y'all have any lube?" His gf has this look of utter shock on her face and immediately scolds the man, "You're not supposed to ask that! That's private!!!" She is Not Happy. My manager is all professional and shows them the different kinds we have next to the condom case.

    Then, for his next mistake, the guy asks my manager to open the condom case for some Trojan Magnums. Cue the girlfriend chiming in, "You don't need Magnums, you're not that big. And just for that, you're not getting any pussy tonight!!!"



    My manager told me he turned about 15 shades of red hearing the guy's gf tear into him like that.

    From my vantage point at the cash register, I have a direct line of sight at the condom case and sex supplies section, and I see her turn around and storm off without the guy.

    She comes up to my register, where I'm polite and professional. I ring up her snacks and drink she got. Then, the boyfriend comes up and asks me, "Is there anyway I can pay for this in private or does it all go through you?" I'm polite and professional, as I see what they're buying, "It does indeed all come through me. But I've been in retail for 12 years, to where it's all just merchandise. I don't care what you buy as long as you pay for it first."

    He told me thanks, as she just turned around and stormed off again, not saying a word, and clearly furious, albeit keeping her cool.


    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  26. #626

    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Condomed and lubed and no where to go... you should have taken him home and helped him out.
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    I love the way you laugh. Thynight's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    Again with the angst over sexually-natured items.

    So last night, on the last night of this last rotation, my manager meets this couple at our condom display case - we keep them locked for obvious reasons.

    One guy asks my manager in front of his gf, "Do y'all have any lube?" His gf has this look of utter shock on her face and immediately scolds the man, "You're not supposed to ask that! That's private!!!" She is Not Happy. My manager is all professional and shows them the different kinds we have next to the condom case.

    Then, for his next mistake, the guy asks my manager to open the condom case for some Trojan Magnums. Cue the girlfriend chiming in, "You don't need Magnums, you're not that big. And just for that, you're not getting any pussy tonight!!!"



    My manager told me he turned about 15 shades of red hearing the guy's gf tear into him like that.

    From my vantage point at the cash register, I have a direct line of sight at the condom case and sex supplies section, and I see her turn around and storm off without the guy.

    She comes up to my register, where I'm polite and professional. I ring up her snacks and drink she got. Then, the boyfriend comes up and asks me, "Is there anyway I can pay for this in private or does it all go through you?" I'm polite and professional, as I see what they're buying, "It does indeed all come through me. But I've been in retail for 12 years, to where it's all just merchandise. I don't care what you buy as long as you pay for it first."

    He told me thanks, as she just turned around and stormed off again, not saying a word, and clearly furious, albeit keeping her cool.



    Out of curiosity around how old were they?
    I couldn't get my mind off you all day.
    ~~~~ ~~

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    Condomed and lubed and no where to go... you should have taken him home and helped him out.
    Meh, not my type, though... Plus, just me personally, I just feel like I'm there to do a job and be professional, especially when I sense someone around me at the time is angry or tense, as the guy's gf was.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thynight View Post
    Out of curiosity around how old were they?
    Early to mid 30s. Just a touch older than me.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    I love the way you laugh. Thynight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    Early to mid 30s. Just a touch older than me.

    That surprises me. It is usually the younger ones shy about buying condoms and lube.
    I couldn't get my mind off you all day.
    ~~~~ ~~

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Thynight View Post
    That surprises me. It is usually the younger ones shy about buying condoms and lube.
    She kind of struck me in the vein of the puritanical sort - the kind of mindset that "good people don't discuss such things out in open public" type.

    They clearly needed our (mine and my manager's) assistance to buy the items in question. My manager helped them find the lube, and unlocked the condom case for them - things they couldn't have done on their own, and we're happy to help them with. And they needed me as a cashier to pay for their items they were purchasing. Again, I'm happy to help.

    Even if we did have self-checkout machines (thank goodness we don't, for a number of reasons) where they wouldn't have to see anyone face-to-face, there would still need to be someone at the master control register overseeing all the self-checkout lanes. So there would still be someone seeing them buy condoms and lube.

    In 12 years of retail, this is the first pharmacy retailer I've worked for. But I have enough training and enough experience to know, OK, this is a pharmacy - some of the items we sell here are of a very personal, very private, and sometimes, sexually explicit nature. And there is a certain level of adult, grown-up professionalism that you must exhibit when selling these items to customers in a face-to-face setting. When you buy condoms, lube or whatever from me, I'm not going to turn around and say, "Hey, John Smith just bought some rubbers!!!" "Jane Smith just got a pregnancy test!!!" "So-and-so just bought a home HIV test!!!"

    I'm not going to make you feel bad, anxious, or embarrassed at what you just bought. I'm not going to broadcast your business and who you specifically are, for the world to know. I am instead going to do everything within my power to make you feel as at-ease as I can about buying your sexually explicit goods from me. It's just merchandise on a shelf to me, just like everything else we sell.

    I'm just thankful you chose to buy it from my store.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    I love the way you laugh. Thynight's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    In 12 years of retail, this is the first pharmacy retailer I've worked for. But I have enough training and enough experience to know, OK, this is a pharmacy - some of the items we sell here are of a very personal, very private, and sometimes, sexually explicit nature. And there is a certain level of adult, grown-up professionalism that you must exhibit when selling these items to customers in a face-to-face setting. When you buy condoms, lube or whatever from me, I'm not going to turn around and say, "Hey, John Smith just bought some rubbers!!!" "Jane Smith just got a pregnancy test!!!" "So-and-so just bought a home HIV test!!!"

    I'm not going to make you feel bad, anxious, or embarrassed at what you just bought. I'm not going to broadcast your business and who you specifically are, for the world to know. I am instead going to do everything within my power to make you feel as at-ease as I can about buying your sexually explicit goods from me. It's just merchandise on a shelf to me, just like everything else we sell.

    I'm just thankful you chose to buy it from my store.


    One of my life’s greatest regrets was somewhat related to what you just wrote.

    I was at a Walgreens waiting for my meds when a kid/teen asked the pharmacist for help with buying some condoms and lube. The pharmacist intentionally started to talk louder to attract attention from the older people also waiting for their meds. Long story short the boy ran and grabbed his girlfriend and they left the store empty handed. It was obvious the teens were still going to have sex, just maybe not that day or in a safe way.

    At the time I was into giving lectures about sexual stuff as well was giving out free condoms/lube. I have felt since that I should have followed them and either offered to go in and buy the stuff for them or ask them to have waited for me to go home and get the condoms and lube samples I already had.


    The pharmacist was a bitch for embarrassing the kid the way she did. He/they were just trying to be safe.
    Last edited by Thynight; November 15th, 2013 at 01:16 AM.
    I couldn't get my mind off you all day.
    ~~~~ ~~

  32. #632

    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^^^^
    I'm probably wrong, but it's my opinion if someone thinks they're read to have sex then they should be adult enough to purchase their own condoms and lube without acting like a giggling kid. If you wanna Fuck, have enough balls to man up at the counter.
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    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    But in that situation those kids weren't acting immature and the pharmacist shamed him. Which is the reason a lot of people have problems buying condoms/lube, in fear of being embarrassed. If that lady hasn't, she should lose her job for that.

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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    [QUOTE=Thynight;9191044
    LOL!!!

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Thynight View Post
    One of my life’s greatest regrets was somewhat related to what you just wrote.

    I was at a Walgreens waiting for my meds when a kid/teen asked the pharmacist for help with buying some condoms and lube. The pharmacist intentionally started to talk louder to attract attention from the older people also waiting for their meds. Long story short the boy ran and grabbed his girlfriend and they left the store empty handed. It was obvious the teens were still going to have sex, just maybe not that day or in a safe way.

    At the time I was into giving lectures about sexual stuff as well was giving out free condoms/lube. I have felt since that I should have followed them and either offered to go in and buy the stuff for them or ask them to have waited for me to go home and get the condoms and lube samples I already had.


    The pharmacist was a bitch for embarrassing the kid the way she did. He/they were just trying to be safe.
    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    ^^^^
    I'm probably wrong, but it's my opinion if someone thinks they're read to have sex then they should be adult enough to purchase their own condoms and lube without acting like a giggling kid. If you wanna Fuck, have enough balls to man up at the counter.
    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    But in that situation those kids weren't acting immature and the pharmacist shamed him. Which is the reason a lot of people have problems buying condoms/lube, in fear of being embarrassed. If that lady hasn't, she should lose her job for that.
    @Borg >> While I do see your point, if the kids were acting immature, but there's no indication of that here, in Thynight's retelling of events. Even then, if the kids/teens were just goofing off instead of getting off, and just wanted to use the condoms as water balloons for pranks - if there's no parent around to stop them, and the merchandise itself doesn't come up in the register or store computer as age-restricted to where you have to be old enough to buy it, and the kid/teen has the money to pay for the item, including tax (if applicable), then basically, we are duty-bound to sell it to them. And we're also duty-bound to be professional about it and not make a big deal of it.

    An example taken to a logical extreme - If a 10-year-old little boy wanted to come in and buy some Trojan Magnums and use them as water balloons, if there is no parent/guardian present to say no, and the individual in question has the money - and as long as he doesn't disclose to me that he's going to intentionally use them as water balloons and throw them at people's cars for vandalism/mischief purposes, then yeah, we have to sell it to them.

    In the above particular example, the pharmacist was indeed in the wrong for embarrassing them. Again, back to my earlier point >> this is a pharmacy - some of the items we sell here are of a very personal, very private, and sometimes, sexually explicit nature. And there is a certain level of adult, grown-up professionalism that you must exhibit when selling these items to customers in a face-to-face setting.

    And the requirement of the store employee/pharmacist to exhibit professionalism is not dependent on whether the customers are giggly teenagers goofing off, or if it's a 75-year-old man coming in for his Viagra prescription. We are to be professional and courteous, and show respect regardless of the situation.

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    JUB Addict roadtripboy's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ In regards to this: I did have a hard time keeping a straight face during this exchange.

    A college age couple arrives at my register. They buy condoms, chocolate, wine and a woman's blouse. The total comes up: (it's 60 something dollars) the guys looks at the girl and says: "You're an expensive good time". She slugged him in the arm, but didn't seem too upset with him.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by roadtripboy View Post
    ^ In regards to this: I did have a hard time keeping a straight face during this exchange.

    A college age couple arrives at my register. They buy condoms, chocolate, wine and a woman's blouse. The total comes up: (it's 60 something dollars) the guys looks at the girl and says: "You're an expensive good time". She slugged him in the arm, but didn't seem too upset with him.
    One customer service trick I've learned with couples customers in situations like that is to immediately look at the guy and go, "You know, the smartest two words in the English language are, 'Yes, dear...'" That almost immediately makes the women smile, and I've even had several girls turn around and look at their man and go, "See? Even the cashier knows..." Sorry ladies, this gentleman prefers gentlemen.

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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I've witnessed plenty of cashiers not being able to keep a straight face when a customer buys condoms with his/her partner. It's a bit funny to see them attempt to not break into a smile as they suppress their urges to just break out in laughter or chuckle. Usually one can see them blush quite obviously. Is sex that taboo or naughty a subject still?

    I've observed this type of reaction both being the purchaser of the contraceptive as well as being in line next to a purchaser of the item.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    Is sex that taboo or naughty a subject still?
    It goes back to society's (frankly stupid and quite damaging) general puritanical uptightness about sex...

    "Good people don't do such things..."
    "Good people don't talk about such things..."
    "Sex doesn't exist..."
    "You were dropped off at your parents' house by a stork..."

    You show two big muscley guys pointing guns at each other, and that's somehow OK. But if the same guys start kissing each other, some people's universe comes apart at the seams.

    It's that ingrained societal taboo, almost to a paradigmal degree, about sex in general that I believe is the reason behind people smiling. When you buy condoms or lube from a store, you're basically signifying to anyone who is present, including the cashier, "I am about to get laid. I'm about to have my dick sucked/my pussy fucked, etc. I am about to get manhandled good." - in direct defiance of the ingrained societal taboos mentioned above.


    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jdcnow View Post
    It goes back to society's (frankly stupid and quite damaging) general puritanical uptightness about sex...

    "Good people don't do such things..."
    "Good people don't talk about such things..."
    "Sex doesn't exist..."
    "You were dropped off at your parents' house by a stork..."

    You show two big muscley guys pointing guns at each other, and that's somehow OK. But if the same guys start kissing each other, some people's universe comes apart at the seams.

    It's that ingrained societal taboo, almost to a paradigmal degree, about sex in general that I believe is the reason behind people smiling. When you buy condoms or lube from a store, you're basically signifying to anyone who is present, including the cashier, "I am about to get laid. I'm about to have my dick sucked/my pussy fucked, etc. I am about to get manhandled good." - in direct defiance of the ingrained societal taboos mentioned above.

    When I was little, my parents told me they wished me into my mom's womb. I think big giant birds would have scared me.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    When I was little, my parents told me they wished me into my mom's womb. I think big giant birds would have scared me.
    I've never flown or been off the ground before, and I don't much do well with heights (oddly enough, I live on the 3rd floor, but anyway...). So the idea of a wild bird carrying me around in a sack in its beak is just hell to the no! It's a long way down if I'm accidentally dropped.

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    Traveling Through Time BillyT's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I work retail too and we will open Thanksgiving night. At least I have not been picked to work it.

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    ^ Hugs. Because of the way my work rotation falls, I'll be off Thanksgiving/Black Friday (ducks down to dodge the tomatoes being thrown at me), but I do have to work Christmas Eve night into Christmas Day morning, and I also have to work New Years Eve night into New Years Day morning.

    I've already been advised that Christmas Eve night will be a beast - everyone else closes up early, but my store never closes, not even on Christmas Day. It's fine by me - I don't really celebrate Christmas anyway. So I've been told to expect fire marshall's capacity customer traffic that day - Black Friday, Part Deaux

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

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    Chief Meteorologist jdcnow's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    And that puts another work rotation in the books, OMFG, yes.

    And now, complete with the Benny Hill Theme, are the highlights, low lights, and (very) dim lights from this last week...



    >> Yes, the pharmacy open...

    Me - "Good evening, Welcome to (store name)!"
    Man - "Is your pharmacy open?"
    Me - "Yes, 24-hour pharmacy in the back corner of the store." (With me pointing in that direction, mind you.)
    Man - "So it's open?"

    >> Not a "stupid customer" but another female guest had some angst over buying sexually explicit merchandise (a pregnancy test, which we keep locked up in the same case with the condoms). I, as always, am my professional self. Her and her female friend ask me if only us two (my male night assistant manager) work in the store at night. I say that that's right. She asks me, "Could you, like pretend to be a girl just to make me feel better." Understanding the delicate nature of the situation, I'm happy to play along. "Sure, call me Evelyn." Her and her friend are like, "That's awesome..."

    You betta werk, honey!

    >> Shoplifters be trollin' - that never stops... We had this one guy Monday night. I literally followed his ass around the store, only breaking away once to go get my manager, and that's when he got us for something. What can you do? /shrugs...

    >> Be careful what you wish for...

    So this dopey teenage kid - high school age, maybe out of school, idk, he looked kind of late teens if I'd have had to card him for something - he and his dad came in. His dad was this very tall, heavyset Godfather type. Kid snuck a peppermint Hershey bar in with his dad's purchase as I ran it up. Kid did everything but cheat, lie, and steal to get that candy bar. He opens it and took one bite, and you could see excitement literally flip a switch and change over to regret with a blink of an eye. "What is this?" he asks. I tell him that it's chocolate and mint. He's like, "But mint sucks..."

    Read, dammit, read!!!
    Dude, are you that young, dumb and full of cum that you cannot read the front of a candy bar before you bite into it? /facepalm...

    After the guy and his dad left, the guy behind them - the next customer in line - thought it was hysterical! Honestly, it kinda was.

    >> And the cherry on top of the ice cream...

    Guy comes in this morning - "Do you have any knit hats?"
    Me - "No, sir."
    Guy grumbles as he storms out the door - "What kinda place is this?"
    Me - "A pharmacy."

    Swaggering US Olympic Gymnast Sam Mikulak

  45. #645
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    I dont understand why people think "they do it at this store" will wrok. I hear this all the time as if I am supposed to change my mind at that point.

    Two guys came in and they bought a prepaid Visa card with debit. After the purchase they were hanging around in the store, one of them was on the phone. Eventually they are both back at the register with the prepaid card and wanted to buy a new one with that one. No, we dont do that.

    So I tell him this and he asks me why? I tell him because it is store policy (lol I love using that line). He gets irritated and tells me that every other branch does it and that he works for the company. That they do it for him all the time. I still denied him and he asked my name and the Managers name. He actually bought other stuff and they left.

    If he actually worked for the company he would know that is not even a store policy it is a company one.

  46. #646

    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by MakeDigitalLove View Post
    I dont understand why people think "they do it at this store" will wrok. I hear this all the time as if I am supposed to change my mind at that point.

    Two guys came in and they bought a prepaid Visa card with debit. After the purchase they were hanging around in the store, one of them was on the phone. Eventually they are both back at the register with the prepaid card and wanted to buy a new one with that one. No, we dont do that.

    So I tell him this and he asks me why? I tell him because it is store policy (lol I love using that line). He gets irritated and tells me that every other branch does it and that he works for the company. That they do it for him all the time. I still denied him and he asked my name and the Managers name. He actually bought other stuff and they left.

    If he actually worked for the company he would know that is not even a store policy it is a company one.
    I've heard about this type of stuff on the news. It's some new scam going on - I forget exactly how - to cheat the system. It's good you denied them. The original one they bought with the debit card was probably purchased fraudulently to begin with as it is.
    http://www.justusboys.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic216959_1.gif

  47. #647
    The Hard Snow Held Me Alnitak's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by dereperez View Post
    I've witnessed plenty of cashiers not being able to keep a straight face when a customer buys condoms with his/her partner. It's a bit funny to see them attempt to not break into a smile as they suppress their urges to just break out in laughter or chuckle. Usually one can see them blush quite obviously. Is sex that taboo or naughty a subject still?

    I've observed this type of reaction both being the purchaser of the contraceptive as well as being in line next to a purchaser of the item.
    Never had a problem buying lube at Walmart, though that might not be as obvious as condoms.

  48. #648
    26354 MakeDigitalLove's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Quote Originally Posted by borg69unimatrix View Post
    I've heard about this type of stuff on the news. It's some new scam going on - I forget exactly how - to cheat the system. It's good you denied them. The original one they bought with the debit card was probably purchased fraudulently to begin with as it is.
    Yeah and it was weird that they were hanging around in the store after the purchase while the other guy was on the phone. He could have easily be claiming that his card was stolen or didn't authorize that purchase with his bank or his credit card company. Stuff like that happens and has happened.

  49. #649
    Traveling Through Time BillyT's Avatar
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    What it is they are usually using a stolen credit card to buy the gift card. That way if they do not have to worry if the store turns off the original gift card it would already be spent.

  50. #650
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    Re: retail workers: tell us your stupid customers

    Dear retail workers.....

    one important question.


    Is working on Black Friday the worst day of your life??

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