Last month the Internet exploded with some very serious news: Her Highness Lady Gaga was building a multi-million dollar floating mansion in Greece. It was going to cost $20 million. No, wait, maybe $50 million. Or was it $30 million? Really depends on which site you were clicking on.
It’s supposed to look as if it is floating on the sea, like something Charles Foster Kane would have built if his turf was more jet ski and less sled. This new crib is supposedly going to be an optical illusion house. Rumor has it she’s also going to build a palace and a church to go with it just for fun. Everyone was in a tizzy about this magical floating mansion but really – why all the fuss?
This is Lady Gaga, people. A piano prodigy who wears meat dresses and Kermit the frog suits. Admittedly draping meat all over your body sounds about as pleasant as chomping into a Delta Airlines sandwich at gunpoint, but who doesn’t adore Kermit? Plus the little lifeless Kermy beret really pulled the whole ensemble together. But back to the matter at hand: The case of the floating mansion
Lady Gaga is one of the universe’s most successful musicians, and building a house in Greece might even help their struggling economy. She’ll be employing an awful lot of people, plus when it’s all said and done she’ll need an extravagant staff to maintain the thing.
Maybe she can even keep the ghost-detecting machine she bought in the new house, just to be safe. That was another zany purchase by the pop star, but did you know anyone can buy paranormal detection equipment like “The Ultimate Ghost Hunting Kit” right off the Internet? You don’t have to be a zillionaire celeb to be safe. Just a little kooky – or really afraid of ghosts.
The world will watch in anticipation as Lady Gaga’s floating mansion evolves. Let’s hope it does help the Greek economy and employ some people who need it. Let’s hope she does reveal her magnificent floating living room and her astounding floating bathroom in Architectural Digest. And finally let’s hope against hope that she doesn’t say her construction workers built it with love.