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  1. #151
    tumbling...tumbling down!
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Quote Originally Posted by DonQuixote View Post

    I think HE may by working through you, too. You have developed an incredible story, one that pulls at all of our heart strings.

    Take care of yourself and your studies, your real life. That ALWAYS takes precedence.

    Thank you, for finding the time and energy to devote to crafting this wonderful tale and sharing it with us. If IrishInvader helped you behind the scenes, perhaps poking, prodding you, we thank him, too.

    What a great post!

    I couldn't agree with you more.

    Don't forget to rate this thread, guys. It deserves more than 5 stars!


    We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing

  2. #152
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    I've seen this story at the top of the page a few times but I never really thought to read it until today. After reading two chapters I became addicted. I can't even explain why I like this story. Anyway I've said enough. Great job Inthecloset.

  3. #153

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Everyone don't forget to rate this story. There should be 5 stars next to this thread.

  4. #154
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Hey guys, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. Glad I didn't lose any of you guys with the long wait. Not even 24 hours after I posted the chapter and I had 15 replies o.O totally didn't expect that one haha.

    Thank you SexyCiv for your advice, I'll be sure to work on that more.

    I'm currently working on the next chapter. I'm not planning on taking this story as far as I took Graduation. I already have the final chapter in my mind right now, it's just a matter of how long it takes for me to get there. I'm doing what I can to drag it out, but I don't see this going past 25 chapters.

    Much love,
    - ITC
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  5. #155
    Porn Star ____'s Avatar
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Can't wait for the next chapter!

  6. #156
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    This was a really, really great update. Thanks so much for that! All my best!

  7. #157

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    WOW, Thank you for the update. It was beautiful. I'm so glad I'm glad that this seems to be bringing them closer together instead of pushing them apart.

  8. #158

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Love your stories! Absolutely sweet! Keep them comming!It brings joy to see aaron and luke getting closer!

  9. #159
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Ugh school has been such a drag. I made a presentation on Gay Rights for my Persuasion class and I think it went over quite well

    I'm once again sorry for the delay in writing. I'm about to hit a huge patch of free time again and I'm working on the next chapter now. And trust me, it's gonna be a long one and totally worth the wait.

    Peace out and God bless.
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  10. #160
    Defender of Downtrodden
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    We await your triumphant return to our ranks.
    Now, go focus on finishing up your term!
    lol


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  11. #161
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Quote Originally Posted by inthecloset View Post
    Ugh school has been such a drag. I made a presentation on Gay Rights for my Persuasion class and I think it went over quite well

    I'm once again sorry for the delay in writing. I'm about to hit a huge patch of free time again and I'm working on the next chapter now. And trust me, it's gonna be a long one and totally worth the wait.

    Peace out and God bless.
    Thanks for the update!

    I'm really looking forward to the next chapter now! I actually can't wait.

  12. #162
    Porn Star TimWhite07's Avatar
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    You dont have to rush your chapter. Finish all your finals and then worry about us. We can all wait. not sure how long, but we can....lol
    "If I have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU."

  13. #163

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Best of luck on you exams. As others have said, we will wait for the next chapter. Work on your school work first.
    Vic

  14. #164
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Wings of A Butterfly

    Chapter Twelve:
    The Nightmares


    My eyes opened to a darkness that smelled of whiskey and cigar smoke. I felt something on top of me but I couldn’t see what it was. I was in pain, but I couldn’t feel it. My vision was blurred as he whispered in my ear, “I’ve wanted you for so long.” I tried to move, but my arms wouldn’t budge. I slipped into the darkness again as I struggled to get away.

    I opened my eyes again, but this time I was back in Luke’s room. My face was soaked with tears and Luke was looking at me through the darkness. His arms were wrapped tightly around me as I cried harder when I realized that the nightmare had made me scream and kick in my sleep.

    My shirt was drenched in sweat and my legs were shaking. I retreated into Luke’s arms trying to calm myself down. This was the third time I’ve done this. He held me tightly and whispered “You’re ok,” into my ear. My fear settled into frustration. The nightmares just wouldn’t stop. Luke was protecting me physically, but he couldn’t come into my dreams with me to protect me from the nightmares.

    “Are you ok?” he asked.
    “I think so,” I said.
    “Want to go for a walk?”
    “No,” I said.
    He reached over and grabbed his phone to check the time and said, “It’s about 5:30. The sun should be up soon.”
    “Ok,” I said.
    “Wanna get some breakfast?” he asked.
    “I’m fine Luke,” I said.
    “You sure?” he asked.
    “Yeah,” I said. I kissed him on the cheek and tried to go back to sleep.

    I pretended to be asleep for a while before I could tell Luke had fallen back to sleep. I sat up in the darkness and cried silently. A little bit of light started coming through his window onto my skin. A warm feeling came over me. It wasn’t necessarily a good feeling, but it felt peaceful for a moment.

    ***
    “And then I wake up drenched in sweat,” I said.

    I looked up at Veronica when I finished telling her about my nightmares. She had this concerned look on her face and she ran her finger over her knuckles as she processed the information. She was talking but I was only half listening. I leaned back against the red velvet of the chair I was sitting in and let my mind wander a little bit.

    I heard the words “Post traumatic” and “anxiety disorder,” but I just kept thinking about Henry for some reason. I hadn’t heard from him since he went to rehab and I really needed my best friend right now. He was the only family I actually felt like I had since my mom died.

    My attention was drawn back when Veronica took out her prescription pad. She had a serious look on her face that told me I missed something important in my visit to my mind space.

    “I’m going to prescribe you an SSRI,” she said.
    “I’m sorry?”
    “It should level out the anxiety you’re feeling and hopefully get rid of the nightmares if that’s what’s causing them,” she said.
    “Oh,” I said, “Ok thanks.”

    I stood up to leave and she met me at the door with a hug. It wasn’t a creepy cougar hug, but a genuine show of how much she cared about me. Her dark blue eyes met my bright ones and she gave a half hearted smile.

    “I’m really sorry this happened to you Aaron,” she said, “If you need anything you have my number.”
    “Thanks,” I said, “I really appreciate it.”

    I walked out of her office and saw Luke sitting in the waiting room. He was wearing a light green t-shirt that clung to his chest and a pair of faded blue jeans that hugged his hips. He smiled when he saw me and stood up to greet me with a hug.

    “How’d it go?” he asked.
    “She prescribed me some medication to take,” I said.
    “Oh well you want me to take you to get it filled? I need to pick up a few things from the store anyway,” he said.
    “Sure,” I said with a smile.

    I grabbed his hand and walked out of the building with him. I don’t know what it was about Luke; he just made me feel comfortable being public about our relationship. I didn’t care if people stared; a part of me enjoyed it actually. I just stared right back at them until they looked away.

    We got into the car and he turned on the radio. He switched the station immediately over to his iPod converter and put on a Paramore song. I got a big smile on my face as he sang along while driving. When the song finished, he hit pause and grabbed my hand to get my attention.

    “Aaron I have a proposition for you,” he said.
    “Shoot.”
    “I talked to a couple of my friends about your…predicament,” he said.
    “You what?”
    “Ehh let me finish,” he said, “My friend Travis invited us to his parents lake house this weekend to kind of relax before finals.”
    “I don’t know Luke,” I said.
    “You can invite Carly and Mike if you want,” he said with an enticing voice as he fluttered his eyelashes at me and flashed a big grin
    “Fine,” I said hesitantly.
    “Awesome!” he said happily, “So when do you want to come over tonight?”
    “Uhm,” I said.
    “What?” he asked.
    “These pills are supposed to make the nightmares go away,” I said, “I was thinking I could try sleeping by myself tonight.”
    “Oh…okay…” he said.
    “You’re disappointed,” I said.
    “No,” he said, “I want you to be able to sleep alone.”
    “But…” I said.
    “Well I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want to…”
    “Luke…” I said, “I just need to try.”
    “I know,” he said, “If you need me though I’m just a courtyard away.”
    “Thanks,” I said squeezing his hand, “I really appreciate that.”

    ***
    I popped a pill in my mouth and swallowed some water to wash it down. It tasted bittersweet as it went down the back of my throat, but I tried my best to relax. The silence in my room felt louder than noise. I threw my clothes to the ground and wrapped a towel around my waist as I headed out to the bathroom. It was 1:20 a.m. so I doubted anyone who would actually be awake at this hour would be in the building.

    The shower was quick and easy. The warm water felt good against my skin so I stayed in a little longer than I wanted to. By the time I was done I could start to feel the sleeping pill take effect, but I was worried that the other pill didn’t make me feel different. As I stepped my foot out of my stall onto the bright yellow linoleum, I felt the anxiety start to creep back. I tried my best to push it back and relax.

    The hallway between the bathroom and my room was dark now. Someone must have switched off the light in the common room, because I could barely see anything. There were a couple of lights on in other people’s rooms so it wasn’t pitch black. I slowly crept down the hallway to my room and pushed the door open.

    I froze when I looked through the doorway to a room that wasn’t mine. It was a room that reeked of whisky and cigar smoke. I quickly turned to leave but the door was locked with a deadbolt behind me. I felt my wrists sear with pain as the cloth binding them together cut off my circulation. Somehow I was on the bed now. It wasn’t as much of a bed as it was a pitiful cot in the middle of the room.

    He was on top of me. His breath was foul and his touch made my skin crawl. I tried to scream but no sound could be heard. My mouth was bound by a piece of cloth similar to the one tied around my wrists. I shut my eyes, praying for it to be over. When they opened, it was to darkness.

    I was awake now. I knew because I was able to scream. Someone heard me from the common room and was knocking on my door. I heard someone say “Security” and “Knock it down,” before I could regain my control over my body. The first thing I did was probably the only thing I was capable of doing. I picked up my phone and called Lucas. My eyes were stinging from the tears and I knew that he was the only one I wanted to see me like this.

    ***
    We packed up our things into Lucas’ car. He and I were driving alone and meeting his friends at the lake house. I was exhausted. It had been four more nights of nightmares and the pills still weren’t working. The worst thing about it was, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for Lucas. He wasn’t getting any sleep and it was my fault. But I knew he wouldn’t leave my side even if I asked him to now until he was sure my nightmares were gone.

    I tried to sleep during the 2 hour car ride, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want Lucas to worry though so I at least pretended to sleep a little. There was no music for the ride. He wanted me to sleep. I was a little sad about that. I knew he wanted to take care of me, but we’ve always had this small bond over music. Being with him and not having it just seemed wrong to me.

    I had my eyes closed when we pulled up to the house. Lucas nudged me and I opened them to a small clearing in the trees leading up a path to a gigantic mansion-like cabin. It was the most luxurious building I had seen up close. I must not have been discrete about my shock because Lucas nudged my shoulder when we stopped.

    “Impressed?” he asked.
    “Oh yeah,” I said, “It’s so…”
    “Big?” he asked.
    “Enormous,” I said, “I thought we were going to Travis’ lake house, not Oprah’s.”
    He laughed and said, “Yeah Travis’ family is pretty well off.”
    “I’ll say.”

    We got out of the car and as we approached the house, I became even more intimidated. Not because of the house but because of the people that were waiting inside for me. We came up to the door and Luke reached his hand up to the handle, but I stopped him. I took a deep breath as I clutched his hand.

    “Something wrong?” he asked.
    “I’m nervous,” I said.
    “About my friends?” he asked.
    I nodded.
    “Aaron there’s nothing to be nervous about,” he said, “They’re gonna love you.”
    “Is there anything I should know?” I asked.
    “Well, Cherilyn is Travis’ sister, Kelsey is Travis’ girlfriend, and Nick and Travis were next door neighbors when they were growing up.”
    “So if I want a future with your friends I have to impress Travis?” I asked.
    “You don’t have to do anything,” he said, “I told you, they’re gonna love you.”

    He pulled me into him and hugged me. I felt his lips press up against the side of my head. He was always so gentle with me; it was as if he were afraid of breaking me. I smiled at him when he pulled away from me and we went inside, even though I had become even more nervous than before because of something I just realized.

    The inside of the house was even more intimidating than the outside. There were several hunting trophies and typical stuffed deer heads around the sitting room that was to the left of the front door. The only light coming from that room was a big lamp in the corner of the room next to the biggest armchair. To the right of the front door was the dining room with a table long enough to fit 20 people and priceless artwork hung around the walls.

    We were two steps into the house when Cherilyn came running up to Lucas and embraced him. She was prettier than the last time I saw her. Her hair was longer and she dyed it brown with blonde streaks in it. Her grey band t-shirt and black jeans with a studded belt told me she had fallen into a punk phase.

    “Hey gay boy!” she said.
    “Must you do that Lynn?” he asked.
    “Why? It’s fun,” she said turning to me, “Hey gay boy’s boy.”
    “Hey Lynn,” I said with a laugh, “How’s life in your own little world?”
    “It’s awesome,” she said with a smile, “They just elected me as president.”
    “You’re a dork Lynn,” Lucas said, “So who all is here?”
    “Nick and Travis are upstairs playing video games, Carly and Mike are exploring the house…they’re probably lost by now…oh well,” she said.
    “What about Kelsey?” he asked.
    “She’s cooking up some lunch for us,” she said with a cringe.
    “Oh crap,” he said.
    “What?” I asked.
    “Kelsey’s cooking makes road kill look appetizing,” Lucas said.
    “Yeah prepare your stomach.”
    “Well wanna give Aaron the grand tour?” Lucas asked.
    “You do it,” she said, “He’s your guest.”
    “Oh but why would I deny you the pleasure of talking incessantly?” he said.
    “I’m so getting you back for that later,” she said as she walked away.

    He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side. A smile crept across my face as my heart rate increased. We went up the wood stairs that had small, artistic etchings in them. At the top of the stairs was a long hallway with lamps next to each door. There were gold plaques under each lamp which labeled the room that the door belonged to.

    “They usually throw me into room three,” he said.
    “They number their rooms?” I asked.
    “No,” he said, “Just their guest rooms.”
    “How many are there?” I asked.
    “Five,” he said.
    Holy crap!
    “Here we go,” he said.

    He opened the door and led the way inside. The walls were covered with striped, dark brown wallpaper and the queen sized bed was decorated with a fluffy brown comforter and fall colored pillows. There was a dark red rug covering the hardwood floor and a slick flat screen T.V. across from the bed.

    Lucas dropped his bags on the left side of the bed, and I mirrored him on the right side and sat down. The bed was unnaturally soft and forced a look of surprise on my face. Lucas came around and sat down next to me. He took my hand in his and brought his other hand up to my face. Our eyes met and he smiled as he leaned in towards me. My eyes closed as our lips met and the warm suddenly felt warm.

    ***
    It was too warm now. Even the softness of the bed wasn’t able to comfort me enough to fall asleep. Lucas was turned away from me under the covers. I wanted to reach over and wake him, but my guilt of keeping him awake this week prevented me from doing so. It was too hot now. I threw the covers off of my body and stared at the ceiling. I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a while; I went over the days events in my head. But I decided to mix it up and go backwards.

    I looked over at the clock. It was 12:30 a.m. An hour ago, we were just getting back from the club Carly dragged us to in town. Lucas raided the pantry and found stuff to make smores. We all hung out in the backyard with a small bonfire as we ate. We slowly dropped like flies back into the house to fall asleep. Lucas and I were the last ones besides Travis to go upstairs.

    Two hours ago, Lucas and I were dancing together to a local garage band. They weren’t something I would usually listen to, but Lucas seemed to enjoy them so I gave them a chance. They weren’t horrible; I actually enjoyed their sound, but I enjoyed being with Lucas even more.

    Five hours ago we were all eating dinner. Travis grilled up a load of steaks for us and Carly and Lynn made some side dishes. Even though I had never actually eaten a steak before, I was ready for seconds before Lucas even finished his first.

    Six hours ago, Lucas and I were playing Guitar Hero on the 50 inch T.V. downstairs. He impressed me by scoring over 90% on a Paramore song and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him play. He got really into it and started doing things to make me laugh. He was even able to face away from the screen during the guitar solo.

    Ten hours ago we had just finished unpacking and Kelsey called us to lunch. Everyone seemed hesitant about eating so I was scared to touch my food. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I took a couple bites. Lucas was not kidding; it was like eating a dead rat. How someone could take pasta salad and turn it into that was way beyond me.

    I still wasn’t tired. I sat up on the edge of the bed and laid my face into my palms. I don’t know how long I was like that, but when I looked up, he was standing there. The man who smelled like whisky sat down next to me on the bed and put his arm around me. He whispered something into my ear and pulled my face to look him in the eyes.

    His eyes were red and full of evil. His mouth was dripping saliva and his hands were covered in dirt. My heart was racing in my chest as I wanted to scream. He grabbed my arm and I flung it away from him.

    My arm flew away from him and pulled me off the edge of the bed where I was still sitting. I hit the floor and realized I just woke up from another dream. I stood up and looked around. The man was gone and the room was empty. Lucas was still asleep and my elbow was sore where it hit the ground.

    I felt ridiculous, but at least I didn’t scream in my sleep and wake everyone up. I rubbed my elbow and left the room to go downstairs for some water. I walked into the big kitchen and looked through all the cabinets for a glass, but wasn’t having much luck.

    “Next to the dishwasher, top shelf,” a voice said from behind me.

    I nearly jumped out of my skin as I spun around to see Travis sitting at the table with his laptop in front of him.

    “You scared the hell out of me,” I said.
    “Sorry,” he said with a grin, “What are you doing up?”
    “Just getting a drink,” I said, “You?”
    “I’m not really a night person,” he said.
    “Ah,” I said as I pulled a glass out of the cabinet.
    “You had another nightmare didn’t you?” he asked.
    I turned and looked at him with a guilty look.
    “Lynn told me,” he said, “You alright?”
    “Yeah, I’m fine.”

    He just sat there quietly as I filled my glass with water. I took a gulp and stood there silently.

    “No, I’m not,” I said.
    He sighed and said, “Come with me.”

    He stood up and walked to the back door. I slowly followed him outside as he led me down a path to a building about a quarter of the size of the house. When we got inside, he flipped a switch and the lights came on. They revealed one giant room full of a variety of gym equipment.

    “Travis what is this?” I asked.
    “It’s my training room,” he said, “I joined the army a few years ago.”
    “It’s huge,” I said.
    “Yeah, I never got a chance to get shipped out though,” he said.
    “Why not?” I asked.
    “About a year ago I got into a really bad motorcycle accident on one of my weekends home,” he said, “I was unfit for combat and they discharged me.”
    “That sucks Travis,” I said.
    “Yeah it does,” he said, “But I learned something before I left.”
    “What’s that?” I asked.
    “Bad things are gonna happen Aaron,” he said, “You’re gonna get hurt, you’re gonna get injured, and you’re gonna get wounded. There’s nothing you can do about it.”
    “Well,” I said, “Time heals all wounds right?”
    “Not all wounds,” he said, “Some just go numb with time. They go numb until someone comes along and pokes at it. Then, all that pain you thought was gone comes rushing back.”
    “Travis…”
    “No, listen to me,” he said, “You can’t just suppress your feelings and hope that it’s gonna go away. You need to deal with what’s going on.”
    “Why?” I said quietly.
    “Cause what you’re doing…it’s not healthy,” he said.
    “Well what am I supposed to do about it?”
    “Come here,” he said.

    He walked over to a mat laying on the floor and put on some gloves. He tossed a pair over to me and nodded his head. I put them on my hands and stepped onto the mat. It was soft and squishy, like a wrestling mat.

    “I want you to hit me,” he said.
    “Excuse me?”
    “Picture everything that has hurt you in the past, even the little things,” he said, “And hit me.”
    “I’m not doing this,” I said as I started walking away.

    He grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me backwards. I felt him plant his hands firmly on my shoulders as he forced me to look him in the eye. He looked determined to do something.

    “Aaron I am not letting you walk out that door until you hit me,” he said.
    “You’re insane,” I said.
    “No, I’m annoyed,” he said, “I see what’s going on, and what you’re doing is hurting Lucas. I’m not going to let you do that anymore.”

    I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to hear this. A part of me thought it, but I didn’t want it to be true. He said over and over, “hit me,” as I struggled to resist the urge.

    “The world won’t stop pushing until you push back!” he said.
    “Stop running from yourself!”
    “Quit hurting Lucas!”

    I had enough. I reached my fist around and threw it to his face. I didn’t care if it hit him; I wanted it to. My fist stopped suddenly inches from his face as it made impact with his palm. He was quick, I’ll give him that.

    “Nice to see you’re still alive in there,” he said, “Do it again.”

    My mind flashed with images as I threw each punch at his torso. My mother…my attacker…Henry…everything that ever hurt me was flying through my mind and my eyes filled with tears. I stopped throwing punches and collapsed to my knees. I was able to stop myself from crying as Travis helped me stand back up.

    “Sorry,” I said.
    “Don’t be,” he said, “You could stand to kick a little more ass now and again.”
    “What the hell’s going on here?” a voice said.

    I spun around and saw Lucas standing in the doorway. He looked relieved and furious at the same time. His face was angry but his eyes were terrified.

    “Luke,” I said.
    “Hey man, just helpin Aaron out a bit,” Travis said.
    “Travis…can I talk to you outside for a sec,” he said.
    “Yeah.”

    He walked over to the door and stepped outside with Lucas. I slowly walked over closer to the door to see if I could hear what was being said. Lucas was talking softly but clearly. He sounded really pissed off.

    “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

    I pressed my ear up against the door.

    “Doing what you should have done a while ago,” Travis said.
    “Beating up my boyfriend?” Lucas asked.
    “No, helping him,” he said.
    “I’ve been helping him,” Lucas said.
    “No, you’ve been hurting him,” Travis said.
    “I did what he asked me to do,” he said.
    “But not what you should have done,” Travis said raising his voice, “He doesn’t need to be protected he needed to learn how to stand up on his own two feet.”
    “He asked me to comfort him,” Lucas said.
    “You’ve been babying him,” Travis said, “He’s never gonna get better as long as you hold him back the way you have been.”

    I threw the door open and put myself between the two.

    “Guys!” I yelled, “Stop it!”

    They paused and stared at me.

    “Thank you Travis, but I need to talk to Lucas alone,” I said.
    “Okay…I’ll be in the house,” he said as he started walking away.
    “Luke…”
    “You should have told me you were coming out here,” he said.
    “I’m sorry, Travis thought he could help me,” I said.
    “No, I mean you should have woken me up,” he said, “I woke up and saw you were gone. I didn’t know what happened to you. I freaked out.”
    “Oh…Luke I’m so sorry,” I said as he pulled me in to hug him.
    “Just…don’t do that to me again,” he said.
    “I promise,” I said, “I’m sorry.”
    “Let’s go back to bed,” he said.
    “Okay.”

    ***
    It was out last night at the Lake House. Finals were in a couple days and we all had to get back to campus. We were hanging out in the sitting room together, a few of us drinking and the rest of us eating. Kelsey sat down on a pillow near the fireplace in Travis’ arms. I was sitting with Lucas on an armchair lacing our fingers together without realizing it. The room was full of a nice silent moment until Cherilyn perked up.

    “Hey guys, let’s play ‘I never’ for a bit,” she said.
    “Ew why?” Lucas asked.
    “Cause we haven’t played since like High School,” she said.
    “That’s cause it stopped being cool after High School,” Nick said.
    “Wait,” I said, “What’s ‘I never’?”
    “Oh God! Now we have to play!” Kelsey said.
    “Ugh, fine,” Lucas said, “Thanks Aaron.”
    “What did I do?” I asked.
    “It’s not what you did do Aaron, it’s what you’re going to do,” Cherilyn said.
    “I’m…so lost,” I said.
    “Here,” she said handing me a plastic cup full of beer, “Take this, and we’re gonna go around the room a few times in a circle. Someone says something they never did and anyone who has done that has to take a drink.”
    “Sounds simple,” I said.
    “Okay,” Kelsey said, “I’ll start.”

    She got up and filled her cup with beer and sat back down on the pillow. She took a moment deep in thought and finally spoke after a couple minutes.

    “I never…got caught pleasuring myself by my parents,” she said.
    Lucas and Mike both took a drink.
    “Oh come on there’s gotta be more of you,” Mike said.
    Cherilyn took a drink.
    “Ew,” Travis said.
    “Okay okay,” Cherilyn said, “Travis go.”
    “Alright…I never shot a living thing that wasn’t human,” he said.
    Mike and I took a drink.
    “The hell did you shoot?” Lucas asked.
    “Henry’s dad used to take us hunting,” I said, “I’ve shot three squirrels.”
    “Couldn’t shoot anything that moved faster eh?” Lucas asked.
    “Oh shut up,” I said lightly elbowing him in the ribs.
    “Go Lynn,” Nick said.
    “Okay…I never dressed up like a hooker for Halloween,” she said with a smirk at Lucas.
    Lucas took a drink with a glare shot at Cherilyn.
    “Gross…” I said.
    “I lost a bet!” he said.
    “I never…got pleasured by someone while I was driving,” Carly said.
    Mike took a drink.
    “I never pleasured someone while they were driving,” he said.
    “Oh come on that’s lame…do something else,” Kelsey said.
    “Alright alright,” he said, “I never watched porn while one of my grandparents slept 20 feet away from me.”
    Carly and Nick took a drink.
    “Car…that’s nasty,” Lucas said.

    She shrugged at him and looked towards Nick. As he was saying his I never, something popped into my head, but it wasn’t something I wanted to say in front of everyone. I got up slowly and went out the back door and stood on the porch. Not even five seconds later Lucas was coming out the door with a concerned look on his face.

    “Is everything okay?” he asked.
    “Yeah I just…” I said trailing off.
    He waited a couple seconds and asked, “What is it?”
    “I was trying to think of an ‘I never’ and…”
    “And…”
    “I never told you…I love you,” I said.
    “Wh-what?” he asked.
    “I love you,” I said with tears forming in my eyes, “I realized it yesterday when we got here.”
    “Hey don’t cry,” he said, “I’m glad you said it…cause…”
    Is he saying it back?
    “I love you too,” he said.
    “Really?” I asked with a smile stretching across my face.
    “Of course,” he said.
    I stood there awkwardly and said, “What happens now?”
    “Well first…you kiss me,” he said, “and then we go inside because it’s like 10 degrees out here.”

    I laughed and leaned in to kiss him. Our lips parted and our tongues pushed past into each others mouths. My heart was beating faster than ever. I had never felt this way before; saying “I love you” to someone and having them say it back…it was incredible. It made me feel whole for some reason.

    When our kiss broke he smiled at me and took my hand as he led me back inside. When we got back into the sitting room, Kelsey and Travis had already gone upstairs and Cherilyn was cleaning the room. Carly and Mike were heading in the direction of the stairs as well and Lucas and I took one look at each other and started walking towards them.

    I wasn’t tired though. When we got into our room I went into the small attached bathroom and took off my pants and shirt leaving me in a tank top and my boxers. I stared into the mirror as I made my final decision to go back into the bedroom. I opened the door to see Lucas changing into some pajama pants and a white t-shirt and just stood in the doorway watching.

    “You gonna be warm enough sleeping in that?” he asked.
    “I didn’t plan on sleeping in it,” I said.
    He looked at me confused. I took off my shirt to give him another hint.
    “Are you sure?” he asked.
    “Very,” I said.
    “You don’t get to take this back,” he said.
    “I want it Luke,” I said.
    “Okay…if you’re sure,” he said.

    He walked over to me and put his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me. He was full of lust; I could feel it in the way he kissed me. His hands moved down to my shoulders and down my back. He pulled me closer to his body until our stomachs were pressed together. He pulled away from me for a second to pull off his shirt. His bright hazel eyes stared into my light blue ones for a brief second as he whirled me around to sit at the foot of the bed.

    He pressed up against me and kissed my neck. My hands went exploring and ran through every crevice of his muscles. I never actually noticed before but he was very well built. His muscles were really well defined without being really big. His chest was, for lack of a better term, very beautiful. My hands ran down his back and reached his waist. I decided to go for it and ran them both down his ass cheeks. The fabric of his pants made his butt feel really soft, but still tight underneath.

    He left out a soft sigh when he felt my hands on his ass. He reached back and pulled the waistline of his pants down a bit and pulled them off the rest of the way just using his feet to push them to the floor. The boxer briefs he was wearing were light blue from Hanes and looked really sexy on him. He pushed me further up the bed and climbed up to join me. He pushed me onto my back and got on top of me. I felt his fingers trail down my chest to my stomach followed by his lips. He stopped just above the waistline of my boxers and looked up at me.


    “Aaron, are you sure this is what you want?”
    “Trust me Luke…I’m ready,” I said.
    “But what about…” he said.
    “Luke I’m fine,” I said, “It might not be my first time anymore, but it’s my first time with the boy I love.”

    He smiled at me and leaned back up to kiss me.

    “If at any point you want to stop…just say the word,” he said.
    “I promise,” I said.

    He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a box of condoms.

    “Were you expecting something?” I asked.
    “Travis always keeps a box in every bedroom,” he said.
    “That’s creepy…” I said.

    He smiled and opened the wrapper. He pulled his boxer briefs off and rolled the condom onto his stiff cock. I pushed my boxers off and lifted my legs up a bit.

    “Deep breath,” he said, “I’ll go slow.”

    He pushed his cock slowly up to my hole.

    “You ready?” he asked.
    “Do it,” I said.

    I felt a slight pinch as he penetrated me. It hurt so much for the first few seconds. I could feel his head inside me. I pushed through the pain and tried to relax. He pushed a little further in. The look on my face must have been really bad because he stopped and pulled back a little.

    “No,” I said with a grunt, “Keep going.”

    He pushed in more. I couldn’t believe the pain at first. It took a few minutes for him to get all the way inside me. When I felt his balls rest against my ass, he leaned in and looked directly in my eyes.

    “How does it feel?” he asked.
    “Hurts,” I said with a grunt.
    “Sorry,” he said, “It’ll feel better soon.”

    He slowly pulled out. I felt relief when he was almost all the way out, but he stopped before his head popped out. He slowly pushed back in again. It was easier this time, but still slightly painful. My face felt like it was about to explode. I let out some sharp grunts as he pushed in. I can’t believe I wasn’t more prepared for this.

    I felt his balls rest against my ass again and he leaned down and started kissing my neck. Without pulling off of me, he slid his cock out again; this time a little quicker. With his third push in, I felt the balance shift slightly more towards pleasure. I let out a soft moan to let him know it was feeling better.

    He pushed back in, a little harder this time. It felt good; no it felt amazing. He pushed all the way inside me until his balls hit my ass again. I let out a soft moan again. He slowly made love to me for a while. When he got close to cumming, he leaned in and kissed me so lovingly I never wanted it to end.

    Then it happened. His breathing got rough and his movements sped up. I knew he was close. I pulled on his neck and squeezed my ass around his cock. I felt him erupt inside me as his cock exploded with cum. He collapsed on top of me and kissed me again. We remained entangled in each others arms until we fell asleep. My final thought before falling asleep wasn’t what I thought it was. Until today, I had been wishing for a nightmare-less sleep. But tonight…it was different. The only thing I wanted now was for this, Lucas and I, to never end.

    Is this what true happiness is?
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  15. #165
    JUB Addict BiMike's Avatar
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Very nice ! Great ending , I love it ! Thanks

  16. #166
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    who do u think would play these caracters if this was a movie? id say chad micheal murray to play lucas and jared padaleki to play aaron

  17. #167
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    What a true pleasure to read this last chapter. I could feel the terror as the nightmares took hold; the comfort as Aaron was embraced with the warm protection of Luke and the genuine love between the two. What a wash of varied emotions I had as I read. ITC, it was delightful and now I have that warm fuzzy feeling that all will be well in the world. Thanks!

    Craiger

  18. #168
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Dear ITC,

    A great chapter - or three's worth!

    There is a lot of love and understanding in that "cabin". Travis is wise beyond his years.

    Craiger said it quite well. The imagery and the intensity of the feelings filled me.

    We all do have our own demons and, while I've not been through Aaron's personal Hell, I have my own dark closets of boogey men.

    This was a chapter of transitions, perhaps the chrysallis (SP?) as Aaron undergoes his transformation from caterpillar to butterfly?

    Thank you for sharing with us. There's a lot of emotion pouring from this installment, and the entire story.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  19. #169
    HA! ;-)
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    ITC ...

    That was Awesome, and Greatly Appreciated, far more than you know!!

    THANK YOU!!

    Keep smilin'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

  20. #170

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    I agree with Chaz. That was a great chapter. It took right into the scene. Thanks for great read. H&K
    Vic

  21. #171
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Great Chapter. Love every second of it. You are an amazing author. keep writing..

    Have a happy Holiday
    "If I have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU."

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Yay I love this chapter ITC!

    Happy Holidays!!

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    What an emotion filled chapter. Thankyou.
    I hope the love of Lucas has finally helped Aaron conquer his nightmares.
    More please
    Harry

  24. #174
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Loved it. and truth be told i felt the same way after my first time and during. lol. just shows how good a writer u r. u make it seem so real, almost like reality. BRAVO!

    thanks for writing and with each post and chapter u show us wat love, devosion, and compassion really is. itbrings a tear to my eye to now wat he went thru but it also brings a happy tear that aaron has found love in Lucas.

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    What a great chapter! In honour of the story, I shall listen to Bright New Eyes.

  26. #176

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Another great chapter. Thanks, ITC.

  27. #177

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Great Chapter, thanks for it.

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Hey boys! Sorry for the long delay. I recently came out to my group of friends so I've been dealing with their questions and jokes for the past few weeks. I'm so happy I did it though. I'm one hand out of the closet now!


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Wings of A Butterfly

    Chapter Thirteen:
    A Truth Revealed



    The sunlight seeped through the window and hit my face. The warmth from the sunlight combined with the warmth from the body that was pressing up against me felt really good. I rolled over and faced Lucas and rested my head on his chest. I felt his hand move to the back of my head and brush through my hair. A smile crept along my face as my fingers traced along the crevices of his bare chest.


    I looked up, still smiling, into his bright hazel eyes. The sunlight made them seem even brighter. Or perhaps it was his happiness that was doing that. Either way, I felt better than I have in a long time just looking at his face. He kissed my forehead and ran his hand softly down my back.


    “Good morning,” he said.
    “Well good morning to you too,” I said with a grin pointing at his obvious morning wood.
    “Shut up,” he said covering his face with his hand.
    “Early riser eh?” I said sitting up with the same grin.
    He rolled his eyes at me and laughed. “So how did you sleep?” he asked.
    I paused for a moment and said, “Very well actually.”
    “Really?” he asked, “No nightmares?”
    “Not one,” I said.
    “Yay!” he said with a smile.
    “Yeah,” I said, “Just had this dream that I had an amazing night with the guy I’m kind of in love with.”
    “And did that guy rock your world?” he said with a smile.
    “Sorta,” I said with a grin.


    I leaned forward and kissed him softly.


    “I’m hungry,” I said, “Let’s go get some breakfast.”
    “I’ll meet you down there,” he said, “I’m gonna grab a shower before Lynn gets a chance to use up all the hot water.”
    “Okay,” I said.


    I stood up and went over to the dresser to grab some fresh clothes. Lucas whistled at me when the sheet fell away and revealed my ass and I just rolled my eyes at him and smiled. With my pajama pants and a sweatshirt on I went downstairs to cook some breakfast for me and Lucas. When I got down there, I saw Travis and Kelsey in the kitchen already making some food. I smelled pancakes and eggs at the food of the stairs and my stomach growled when I came into sight of the box of sausages.


    “Morning,” Travis said, “Sleep well?”
    “Yeah,” I said.
    “I’ll bet,” he said under his breath.
    “Sorry?” I asked.
    “The walls aren’t exactly thick in this place,” Kelsey said blushing.
    “Oh…my God…” I said.
    “Glad to see you aren’t givin’ Lucas some blue balls after all,” he said.
    “You heard?” I asked.
    “You guys aren’t exactly mice you know,” he said.
    “Mice are actually pretty loud when they have sex,” Mike said as he rounded the corner from the media room.
    “You heard too?” I asked him.
    “Nah, Carly drowned out your noises with some of her own,” he said with a wink.
    “Over sharing,” I said with a disgusted look on my face.
    “Oh come on,” Mike said, “Hearing you and Luke go at it isn’t exactly conducive to sleep for me either.”
    “Okay! Then can we please stop talking about it now?” I said.
    “Talking about what?” Carly said as she came down from the stairs.
    “Nothing,” I said.
    “Aaron finally put out last night,” Mike said.
    “How romantic of you Mike,” she said sarcastically.

    I sighed heavily and sat at the counter with a cup of coffee. I sat there fiddling my thumbs around the mug and slowly sipped at it until Lucas came barreling down the stairs. His golden hair was darkened by the water that was still in it from his shower. He came around the corner and wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed me on the cheek.


    “Aww look at the little love birds,” Mike said.
    “I may be a homo but I’ll still knock your teeth out Mike,” I said.
    “Ooh I like this feisty side of you,” Luke said to me.


    I smiled at him as he sat down at the counter next to me. Travis brought us each a plate of pancakes, eggs, hash browns, sausage and a piece of French toast. I dove right into my plate as soon as it hit the granite and was finished within minutes.


    “Man this guy works up an appetite after sex eh?” Mike said.
    “You told them?” Luke asked.
    “They heard us apparently,” I said.
    “Oh shit,” he said covering his face with his hand, “I forgot about the walls in this place.”
    “Don’t worry about it,” I whispered, “Mike’s just having his fun.”
    “I won’t if you won’t,” he said.


    I got up and walked out onto the porch with the rest of my coffee in hand. I stared out at the trees and found comfort in them somehow. I don’t know how long I was lost in my world when Mike came out the front door. He stood right next to me and took in a deep breath.


    “Come to make more jokes?” I asked.
    “No,” he said, “I came to apologize.”
    “Why?” I asked.
    “Well, it was rude for starters,” he said.
    “Yeah but if I was bothered by that Carly would have dumped you by now,” I said.
    “I guess I deserved that,” he said, “But I wanna make it up to you.”
    “How so?” I asked.
    “Well,” he said as he pulled something out of his pocket, “Like this.”


    I took the little box from him and opened it. Inside was a beautiful diamond engagement ring with an emerald stone. My mouth dropped to the ground when my eyes adjusted to how bright it was. I was speechless. I turned and stared at Mike, unsure of what to say. Small bursts of attempted words came out of my throat, but I couldn’t actually say anything coherent.


    “I wanna propose to her after finals,” he said.
    “Are you…” I started.
    “Insane?” he asked, “Maybe.”
    “You’re really gonna propose to her?” I asked.
    “Yeah,” he said, “And I want you to be my best man.”
    “W-why?” I asked.
    “I know we never really considered each other as friends Aaron,” he said, “But Carly thinks of you as family, and I’ve always respected you and cared for you because Carly did.”
    “Oh,” I said.
    “And not just because of that,” he said, “You have such enormous strength. If I could be even half as strong as you then Carly and I would be perfect for the rest of our lives. I want you to be the one who stands next to me.”
    “I don’t know what to say Mike,” I said, “Except…of course I will.”
    “Really?” he asked.
    “Yeah,” I said, “I’d be honored.”


    He smiled as he pulled me in and squeezed me in a big bear hug. I hugged him back as his excitement spilled into me. Lucas came out the door with our bags draped over him and gave me a little smirk.


    “You tryin to steal my boy Mike?” he asked.
    “Of course,” Mike said with a lisp, “He’s just so sexy.”
    “Alright, alright get off of him,” Lucas said.
    “I’ll see you later lover,” Mike said as he went back inside.
    “You ready to go?” Lucas asked me still smiling.
    “Yeah,” I said, “If we have to.”
    “Well finals are in a day or so,” he said, “Gotta get studying.”
    “Fuck you’re right. You need a hand?” I asked as he was leaning down to pick up the bags.
    “Sure,” he said.


    ***


    Lucas and I were sitting in the backseat of his car as Cherilyn drove with Nick in the passenger seat. Luke’s arm was over my shoulders as my head rested against him. We were listening to Cherilyn’s iPod which didn’t have horrible music but still wasn’t great. When one of the songs I wasn’t paying attention to ended, she hit the pause button and looked into the rearview mirror.


    “Hey Luke what you doin for Christmas?” she asked.
    “Uh, same old shit,” he said, “Family and all that jazz.”
    “Ha, good luck,” she said, “What about you Aaron?”
    Crap.
    “Nothing really,” I said.
    “Not going home?” she asked.
    “No home to go to,” I said.
    “What do you mean?” she asked.
    “Just drop it Lynn,” Luke said.
    “No it’s okay,” I said, “My mom died a few years ago.”
    “Oh,” she said, “Oh God I’m so sorry.”
    “Don’t worry about it,” I said, “You didn’t know.”
    “I’m really sorry Aaron,” she said.


    We were silent for a moment as I felt Luke’s thumb stroke my shoulder.


    “So, you don’t have anywhere to go?” she asked.
    “No,” I said, “I’ve been going to Henry’s for the past couple years, but he’s still in rehab.”


    The look in her eye aimed at Luke through the rearview mirror told me they were trying to communicate something. The look in his eye told me he wasn’t really excited about what she wanted to say.


    “Why don’t you come home with us?” she asked.
    “Oh,” I said, “Uh, that’d be nice but I don’t want to impose.”
    “Nonsense,” she said.
    “Is that what you want?” I asked Luke.
    He let out a soft sigh and said, “Yeah.”
    “Awesome!” she said.


    ***


    My bags hit the floor almost simultaneously as the door shut behind me. I was glad to be back, but I also missed this weekend already. Lucas was already laying on my bed with a smirk on his face. I looked across the room where Jonathan’s stuff would have been and sighed when I thought of Henry. Three weeks and no new letter; I was starting to feel alone again.


    I looked back over at Lucas and he was sitting up. He grabbed my hand and guided me towards him. I sat at the edge of my bed as he draped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him and took another deep sigh.


    “You miss Henry a lot don’t you?” he asked.
    “Every day,” I said, “How do you deal with it?”
    “Well, John was a little messed up,” he said, “I just remind myself that he’s getting better.”
    “I wish that worked for me,” I said.
    “He’ll be back soon,” he said.
    “I hope so,” I said softly.


    We lay back onto the bed together. His fingers traced every part of my face. I closed my eyes when his fingertips came close and felt him graze them over my eyelids. A smile forced itself across my face when he did this. I felt his lips on my cheek right over my left dimple. My eyes opened and stared into his beautiful face. His smile mirrored mine as he rested his hand on my chest.


    Then something clicked in my mind. I rolled over on top of him and kissed his cheek. I moved my lips down to his neck and kissed him there. My lips went down to the collar of his shirt and kissed right at the edge of it. His hands went down to my back as my left hand went under his shirt to feel his stomach.


    As my hand went up his abs, I stuck my tongue out to lick from the base of his neck to the bottom of his chin. His face was covered with a smile when kissed his jaw. I took his lower lip with my teeth. When I let go I smiled back at him and sat up to take off my shirt. He brought his hands up to my chest and ran them down my stomach to my waist and rested them on my hips.


    I leaned forward again to kiss him. His hands squeezed my hips softly as our tongues mashed together in each others' mouths. His arms suddenly wrapped around my torso and rolled me over. He landed on top of me with my legs wrapped around his waist. I felt my jeans come unbuttoned. I looked down to see his hands working the zipper and trying to gain access.


    He looked confused when I pushed him off of me. That look quickly went away when I slid my pants off. He did the same with his and rolled back on top of me. I felt his rock hard cock grinding into my pelvis. I slid my boxers off and turned over to lay on my stomach. The sound of a condom wrapper being torn open and a lube bottle cap pop off made my heart pound in my chest.


    “Let me know if I need to slow down okay?” he said with a smile.
    “Promise,” I said flashing him a smile back.


    He placed his hands on my ass and massaged it a bit. I felt his fingertip graze over my hole. A second later, he started to push it inside. He had put some lube on it to make it easier. He added a second finger after a moment and started to stretch my hole a little. He removed his fingers and placed his hands on my shoulders.


    “Here it comes,” he said.


    He pushed me up on my knees and pressed his legs against mine. The pressure of the head of his cock against my hole made me jump slightly as he pushed forward. Within seconds he was completely in me and my ass was pressed up against his pelvis. I let out a very audible moan as he forced himself inside me. His hands moved from my shoulders to my hips as he pulled himself away from me. He forced me backwards as he thrust forward and slammed his cock into my hole.


    I moaned louder and stood up on my knees as I reached behind me to grab the back of his head. I twisted around to kiss him as he thrust into me. He worked fast and savagely attacked my hole without breaking our kiss. My knees started to hurt and sweat was dripping from where our legs were pressed together. His thrusts became more rapid as his breathing increased. He wrapped his arms around my torso and forced our bodies together as his muscles clenched.


    His cock erupted in my and a loud roar came from his throat as his orgasm peaked. He reached his hand around and started jacking me off without taking his cock out of my ass. His left arm was wrapped around my torso keeping my arms from helping as his right hand pumped furiously at my eager cock. My breaths became short as I felt myself going over the edge. He quickly pulled out of me and turned me around. He dropped down to position his face in front of my cock as I exploded all over him. I squirted all over him five times and all he could do was smile as he tried to catch them in his mouth. Each one missed but he still laughed uncontrollably trying to do it.


    I collapsed onto my back and he climbed up to me. He grabbed a couple tissues and wiped my cum off his face. I opened my arms to him and he laid into my torso. No words were said. We just sat there in each others arms, each of us smiling. My mind was buzzing with a million different thoughts. But one shot out from everything else and brought a question to my attention.


    “Hey Luke,” I said.
    “Yeah sexy?” he said with a grin.
    “Earlier in the car,” I said, “When Lynn asked me to come home with you guys for Christmas.”
    “What about it?” he asked.
    “Why were you reluctant about it?”
    “Oh,” he said, “Well it's just... no one at home knows I'm gay.”
    “Oh, really?” I asked.
    “Yeah,” he said, “Not even my parents know.”
    “Oh,” I said, “How come you never told them.”
    He hesitated.
    “Luke?” I asked.
    “I don't know,” he said.


    I was silent for a moment. So was he. But another question burned in my mind.


    “Why do you do that?” I asked.
    “Do what?”
    “Avoid talking about your family; your past.”
    “I don't know what you mean,” he said sitting up.
    “Yeah you do,” I said sitting up with him.


    He stayed silent. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. After a moment, I realized he was crying. I put my hand on his back and pulled him into my arms.


    “Luke,” I said, “I'm sorry.”
    “Don't be,” he said with a sniffle.
    “What's so horrible that you can't tell me?” I asked.
    “I killed my best friend...”
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Congratulations on coming out to your friends! Takes balls dude :P

    I don't believe I've commented before but I've read this and your other stories, and I must say they're all great work. Very glad to have you back... and this cliffhanger will kill me if it isn't resolved soon! Hurry back!

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Dear Semi-OUToftheCloset,
    What a wonderful surprise this morning!
    It's great to hear from you. Even moreso because of your news!

    What a transition from wake-up and breakfast with the gang to cliffhanger/dropped a bomb ending, though!

    I'm happy for them in the kindling of their relationship, and their friendships with the others.

    I'm happier for YOU that you've been able to tell your group of friends and the reaction has been favourable. Glad they've been razzing you - means they care about you - as some of the guys at work tell me - "How would you know we love you if we didn't pick on you?". That's why I walk around like a Victor Hugo character instead of my moniker.

    Thanks so much for letting us know that you're alive and VERY well.
    Thanks, too, for remembering us and continuing this wonderful, emotional tale.
    You have a narrative gift, and we are the grateful beneficiaries of your talents.

    p.s. For any of you who may not know my earlier reference ~ Quasimodo ~ The Hunchback of Notre Dame.



    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Quote Originally Posted by DonQuixote View Post
    I'm happier for YOU that you've been able to tell your group of friends and the reaction has been favourable. Glad they've been razzing you - means they care about you - as some of the guys at work tell me - "How would you know we love you if we didn't pick on you?". That's why I walk around like a Victor Hugo character instead of my moniker.


    p.s. For any of you who may not know my earlier reference ~ Quasimodo ~ The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
    I love wikipedia.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_hugo

    I actually didn't know Victor Hugo wrote BOTH Les Miserables AND Notre-Dame de Paris!

    I always thought it took a good, healthy sense of humor to have Don Quixote as a screen name, haha. You're obviously not as insane as he was. Even so, he was a very lovable character :P



    Alrighty, I apologize for hijacking the thread, carry on!!

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    His vision may have been a bit blurred, and he may have tilted at Windmills, but his soul was pure and his motives, true.

    I keep Dreaming the Impossible Dream despite life's ups and downs. I try to keep my feet firmly planted in Terra Firma while I'm doing it but, if they manage to get aloft from time to time, Qué Será Será!

    We now return you to your (ir)regularly scheduled program.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  33. #183

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    IWTC that was another great chapter. Congrats on coming out. H&K
    Vic

  34. #184

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    OOOh Shit...Poor Luke

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    ITC,

    Congratulations on telling your friends. I'm sure there is a lot of relief and the stress of living a double life is finally over. At least with them. And slowly you will find the courage to tell others. I am happy for you.

    Another excellent chapter with another excellent cliffhanger...lol As others have said, I can hardly wait for the resolution of Lucas' story.

    Craiger

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Congrats on coming out to your friends!

    Another great addition, I look forward to the resolution to this cliff hanger!

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Oh Dear!!
    It seems Lucas is carrying some baggage, too
    I do hope the love they have will help each of them through to a happy ending.
    Thanks ITC
    More please
    Harry

  38. #188

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Thanks ITC, another excellent installment.

  39. #189
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Hey guys. I realize it's been a while since my last update. I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive lol. I've been working on my personal life for the past month along with school and work so it's difficult to find time to write. I hope I haven't lost any fans and I just want to assure you that I will post another chapter as soon as I get time to write.

    Much love,
    - ITC
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    ITC,
    No worries. Real Life and School always take precedence. We still Love you.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    I don't think I can put it any better than DQ! We'll still be here when you've got time to write. If that takes a while, well that'll just give me an excuse to read the whole story again when the new chapter arrives.
    You depend on our protection yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth!

    I know you'll find your own way when I'm not with you tonight.

    foREVer

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Hey guys, I am SOOOO sorry for the delay. It's been a rough couple of months and I'm not doing so well. I finally found some time to write so I figured I'd post the next chapter for you guys. For those of you wondering... We're about to get into some really rocky events soon so buckle up and hold on tight cause after this chapter, it's not going to be easy.


    Wings of A Butterfly


    Chapter Fourteen:
    The Best of Me


    My stomach tightened as my breath shot out from my lungs. My heart stopped as he looked me dead in the eye. I didn't know what to say to him. His body was tense. I moved my hand away from his back and moved to sit in a more comfortable position. His eyes were downcast and his face was scrunched in a pained look. I didn't expect what he had just said.


    “You...You what?” I asked.
    “She was in a car accident,” he said, “But it was my fault.”


    I sighed in relief. For a moment there, I didn't know what to think.


    “Luke,” I said as I put my hand back where it was to comfort him, “Tell me what happened.”
    “You remember how I said when I was little, my family moved around a lot?” he asked.
    “Of course,” I said.
    “Well, when I was about 11 we stopped,” he said, “It was the first place I really felt at home. We were unpacking the moving truck when I saw a girl next door playing soccer by herself. She was about the same age as me so my mom told me to go over and introduce myself. I asked her if she wanted a goalie to play against and we were inseparable ever since.”


    He played with the white bedsheets as he summoned the courage to keep talking.


    “Her name was Michelle. We did everything together and she would do anything for me no questions asked. She would probably kill someone for me if I asked her to,” he said.


    He looked up at me and the despair in his eyes was clear. I pulled him closer to me and embraced him.


    “When I was a sophomore, I started noticing these urges. But they weren't the urges I was expecting. I was finding myself more and more attracted to the guys in my classes,” he said, “And I tried my hardest to stop thinking about them. After a year of hating myself and trying to ignore the thoughts, I came up with a plan. I figured I would ask a girl out and then if something happened I could keep those thoughts buried forever.”


    He took in a deep breath.


    “I thought who better to ask out than my best friend,” he said, “But that was a huge mistake.”
    “Why?” I asked.
    “We dated for about a year, and I finally came to terms with the thoughts and the fact that I was gay,” he said, “And I told her the week before Graduation.”


    He took in a sharp breath this time. I wiped a couple tears that had just fallen down his face.


    “She was...so hurt...” he said, “She wouldn't even talk to me.”
    “Luke I'm sorry,” I said.
    “We were supposed to go out the night after graduation, but she wouldn't return my calls,” he said, “I found out she went to a movie with her friends Alexis and Chloe. They were pulling out of the parking lot when a truck plowed right into them. The doctor told me that since the truck hit her side of the car, her death was quick and relatively painless...but I knew she was in a lot of pain.”


    That broke him. He broke out in tears and hugged me tightly. His pain surged through me and I felt tears starting to burn my eyes as well. I pulled him away from me when his sobs slowed down, grabbed his hands, and looked him dead in the eye.


    “Lucas,” I said, “That was not your fault.”
    “Yes it was,” he said.
    “No, listen to me,” I said, “There was nothing you could have done to keep that from happening. You didn't put her in that car.”
    “But she was there because of what I did,” he said, “And so were her friends.”
    “Lucas,” I said as I forced him to look at me, “It wasn't your fault she reacted the way she did. That was her fault, not yours. Her death wasn't your fault either. It was the guy that was driving the truck. You are in no way responsible.”
    “But-”
    “No!” I said, “Not a chance in hell. And you need to believe that right now. You have no reason to feel guilty. You were honest with her. The only way it would have been your fault is if it was a lie that caused it.”


    He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.


    “I miss her so much...” he said.
    “I know Luke,” I said, “But you can't feel guilty for being happy. You owe it to her to be as happy as you can be. She wouldn't want you to wallow in misery for the rest of your life.”
    “Well then what am I supposed to do?” he asked.
    I paused for a moment and said, “You grieve...and then you find a way to move on.”


    He was silent for a moment. He didn't look at me, but he didn't let go of my hands. I pulled him back into me and hugged him as he cried again. I moved my hand up to his neck and tried to comfort him. Gently and slowly, I laid us both down again. I never let go of him as he cried himself to sleep. Shortly after, I drifted off to sleep as well.


    * * *


    I stood outside the room waiting for Lucas. I got bored so I pulled out my iPod and started listening to the band that played at the club we went to that weekend. I closed my eyes as a violin intro penetrated my soul and rushed me into a musical trance.


    If I could find yesterday
    I would take you back to where I'm comin from
    Cause you can see the way
    all these scars have kept me runnin
    and chasin down the past
    But I'm all done; I'm turnin back.


    I swear
    You're the only reason I keep breathin
    I swear
    You keep on givin me the reason to keep believin


    I noticed a slight change in temperature as something warm brushed against my arm. I kept my eyes closed as a smile crept across my face.


    “Hey Luke,” I said pulling my headphones out.
    “How'd you know?” he asked.
    “Beats me,” I said, “How'd you do on the test?”
    “I don't even wanna think about it,” he said.


    We got up and started walking towards the dorms. I felt his hand brush against mine as we walked together so I grabbed it and laced our fingers together. I looked up into his eyes and smiled. His golden hair was mostly hidden by his beanie but poked out at the edges. His face was a little scruffy. His finals schedule was intense and keeping him from paying attention to his appearance. Even though he looked like he hadn't slept in days, I still thought he was beautiful.


    “So, tomorrow's your last one right?” I asked.
    “Yeah. I'm gonna go shower, shave, and pack right now,” he said.
    “Want some company?” I asked.
    “Don't you have a test in an hour?” he asked.
    “Yeah but I can hang out until then,” I said.
    “I don't know,” he said as he let go of my hand and put his around my shoulders, “If you're there I might get too distracted.”
    “What if I promise to keep my clothes on?” I asked as I leaned in to kiss his neck.
    “That'll be a tough promise to keep,” he said with his cocky smirk.
    “Someone's a little overconfident,” I said.
    “No, I just know you better than you think,” he said with a wink.
    “Hmm you're right I better not,” I said with a smile.


    He kissed my forehead as we walked into his building. When we got into his room I dove into his spare bed and started relaxing as he took off to the bathroom. My mind drifted off and thought about meeting Luke's family. My nerves were completely stunned. Even though we had to keep our relationship a secret around them, I was still anxious about what they would think of me.


    Luke walked back in about 20 minutes later wearing nothing but a dark blue towel. His hair was still wet and his face was clean of stubble. He walked in, smiled and struck a superman pose that made me burst into laughter.


    “You are such a dork,” I said still laughing.
    “You love it,” he said with a smirk.
    “Well you don't give me much of a choice,” I said as I sat up.


    He went over to his dresser and pulled out some clothes. He slid on his boxers and took off the towel and grinned at the disappointed look on my face. His body glistened from the moisture still on his skin as he put on his dark green t-shirt.


    “Hmm, I think this is the first time you've put clothes on around me,” I said.
    “Well if you're gonna keep your clothes on then so am I,” he said smiling.
    “You're not gonna make this easy are you?” I asked.
    “Hell no.”


    He didn't put on any pants and went over to the closet and pulled out his suitcase. I sat and watched as he found ways to keep bending over and reach up for things to pack. I got up, walked over to him, and put my hands on his hips from behind him. He stood up and turned his head to look me in the eyes. I brought my mouth close to his and stopped short.


    “Nice try,” he whispered.
    “Damn,” I said with a chuckle.
    “You wanna help?” he asked.
    “I can come back after my test and help,” I said.
    “I'll probably be done and studying by then,” he said.
    “Oh, damn.”
    “We can do a late dinner if you want,” he said.
    “Okay, I'll pick something up for us and bring it over later,” I said.
    “Sounds good,” he said.
    “I'll see you later then,” I said looking at my watch.
    “Okay,” he said smiling, “Love you.”
    “Love you,” I said as I walked out.


    I was walking down the hallway of Luke's dorm towards the stairs when I saw Travis walking into his room. I went up to his still open door and knocked as I poked my head in. He was packing a bag as well and a big smile spread across his face when he turned to see me.


    “Hey Aaron,” he said, “What's up?”
    “Nothing, just heading out for my last final.”
    “Oh really?” he asked, “What class.”
    “English,” I said.
    “Ah good luck,” he said.
    “Thanks,” I said. I stood there for a moment as the question I wanted to ask burned in my mouth.
    “Did you need something?” he asked.
    “Uh... actually it's not important,” I said, “I'll see you later.”
    “Whoa wait,” he said, “What is it?”
    “Uhm...well I wanted to ask you...” I said, “You, uh...own a gun right?”
    “I'm an ex-soldier in training Aaron,” he said, “Of course I own a gun.”
    “Well...” I said, “Do you think you could...teach me how to use one?”


    He stopped what he was doing and froze in his position. He let out a rough sigh and dropped the clothes in his hands. He walked slowly over to me, pulled me inside and shut the door. I felt a little anxious as he started pacing slowly around his room.


    “I was really hoping you wouldn't ask me this,” he said.
    “Well I am,” I said.
    “You shouldn't be,” he said.
    “But I am,” I said, “Were you expecting me to?”
    “A little,” he said.
    “Why?” I asked.
    “Look, I understand because you're a rape victim you want to be sure you can protect yourself,” he said, “But a gun makes things more dangerous, not less.”
    “I don't care,” I said.
    “You should,” he said.
    “I care about my safety, and Luke's safety. That's why I want to know how to work a gun.”
    “You don't have to guilt me by throwing Luke into this,” he said.
    “So you'll do it?” I asked.
    “On two conditions,” he said, “You don't ever touch a gun until I say so.”
    “And the second?”
    “Luke... NEVER finds out.”


    * * *


    I was surprisingly perky when Lucas knocked on my door. When I opened it, I greeted him with a tight hug and a soft kiss. He looked as if he didn't sleep well the night before, but his eyes immediately brightened up after the kiss.


    “Someone's excited,” he said.
    “Just a little,” I said.
    “Ready?”
    “Yeah I just need to pack one more thing,” I said, “I'll meet you down there.”
    “Okay, want me to take these bags?” he asked pointing at the duffel and my backpack sitting on my bed.
    “Sure,” I said.


    He lifted the bags and walked out as I went to my closet and pulled out a white box. I opened it up and looked inside and couldn't resist smiling at the thought of giving it to Luke. I closed it and stuffed it into the smaller suitcase next to me. Grabbing my pillows and my iPod, I flew out the door without a second glance. As I was locking my door, I noticed something on the ground.


    I picked up the envelope and turned it over. “Aaron” was scrawled on the front in cursive writing. My stuff fell from my arms as I tore the envelope open. Inside was a folded up piece of paper that had the same cursive writing inside.


    Aaron,
    I hope you have an amazing break. I miss you and hope to see you soon.


    I flipped the paper over looking for a signature but found nothing. The handwriting looked really familiar, but I couldn't figure out why. The only person I haven't seen in a while was Henry so I assumed it was from him. Another smile stretched across my face with the hope that Henry would be back soon.


    I sprinted down the stairs and across the field to the parking lot where Luke was standing at his car. I walked up behind him and lightly slapped him in the back of the head with my free hand. He turned and smiled at me returning the headslap. With an even bigger smile on my face, I tossed my things into the backseat and climbed through the passenger door as Luke got in too.


    Any musical preference?” he asked.
    The Letter Black?” I asked with a grin.
    You're really obsessed with them now aren't you?” he asked.
    No,” I said, “They just make me think of you.”
    Aww,” he said, “That's so cute.”
    Just shut up and drive,” I said blushing.


    Luke turned on the car and we drove off towards his hometown. A five hour drive was all that was between us and his family. As we got on the highway, Luke put his hand on mine and held it there for a while. The warmth of his touch calmed me down enough to start falling asleep. Before my eyes shut completely, he took a deep breath.


    So, you excited?” he asked.
    Nervous actually,” I said softly.
    Don't be,” he said, “They're gonna love you.”
    I'm just scared that I'm gonna do or say something stupid to make them hate me,” I said.
    Come on Aaron,” he said, “You're the sweetest, smartest person I know. You've got more common sense than anyone else. And I wish I were as smart as you. There's not a chance in hell you're gonna do anything stupid.”
    Well... I'm also afraid that they're liking me because of our lie,” I said.
    What lie?” he asked.
    You know... you haven't come out yet?” I asked.
    Oh yeah,” he said, “Shit I forgot.”
    I didn't,” I said, “And I don't mind keeping your secret. I just don't want them to hate me when they finally do find out.”
    Well,” he said, “I've actually been meaning to ask you something.”
    What?” I asked.
    I wanted to ask you if it was okay for me to tell them tonight,” he said.
    Really?” I asked.
    Yeah,” he said, “I figure as long as you're there with me, I'll be strong enough to do it.”
    Wow,” I said, “What inspired this turnaround?”
    You did,” he said.
    Aww that's sweet,” I said.
    So... will you be there?” he asked.
    Of course,” I said as I grabbed his hand.


    Luke's iPod switched to a softer genre that when mixed with the rising sun, created a warm and relaxing aura in the car. My hand slipped from Luke's as I drifted off to sleep as we passed the county lines and zoomed Northward towards home.
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  43. #193

    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Thanks for a great chapter ITC. I enjoyed it very mcuh. Hope there is more to come.
    Vic

  44. #194
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Dear ITC,
    Thank you for taking the time to remember us and bring us this chapter.

    I hope your "Rough Couple of months" is from a bad bout with the flu or similar, and not from you opening the door, but I sense it's more the latter than the former.

    I know we're just names and avatars at a story site, but we're here as much as we can be. If you find yourself wanting to just talk to someone, feel free to PM me. i don't know that I have any answers, but I have a shoulder.

    Take care, kind sir.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  45. #195
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Thanks Don, that's really sweet.

    But my rough couple of months is more about a boy whom I've loved for years finally loving me back for one night and then pretending I don't exist afterward. He completely cut me out of his life and I've been finding it hard to write about love lately since it's hard for me to accept what happened to me.

    Regardless of what happened, I still miss him very much and wish I could take back that mistake of telling him how I felt about him. I'd rather have my love for him a secret and still have him in my life than to have had him for myself for that one night.

    But I'm doing okay right now. Time is making me feel less and less damaged. And I still have the hope that one day we'll meet again, and maybe he might want me back in his life.

    I'm working on the next chapter already and this one is going to open the door to several events that are going to eventually lead to the end of this story. I don't know how long that will be, but I know it's going to be good

    Much love,
    - ITC
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  46. #196
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Dear ITC,
    I've written in posts, and to a few via PM, of a couple of relationships in my life that I wish had turned out differently.

    I understand your pain.
    It can be very difficult to let people go (or be the one being let go.)

    I'm extending a "web-hug"out to you.
    Life goes on.
    Things DO get better.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  47. #197
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    the letter change through me off a bit because im ocd

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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Yeah Clarinetboy I don't really know why that happened lol. I didn't do it on purpose that's just the way it ended up.

    And Don, again thanks. You're very kind. I'm taking everything in strides and working towards getting my life back together. It's just a little more difficult than I thought.
    Give me one firm place to stand, and I shall move the Earth...more than the 383 miles it would move anyway.

  49. #199
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    Hey ITC,

    Great to have you back writing. There is a twist coming and knowing you, you will make it quite a twist. I can't wait to read more.

    I am sorry to read about your rough times. And, hopefully, as you wrote, your friend will see a different path and accept you back into a closer friendship. Those are positive thoughts I will hold and continue to put them out there. Positive energy can have a strong effect.

    Craiger

  50. #200
    HA! ;-)
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    Re: Wings of A Butterfly

    ITC

    THANK YOU! for that touching chapter, and I'm definitely looking forward to More of this story!

    As for YOUR story, I sincerely hope that your friend will eventually come around. It would seem he has some issues to work out for himself. Unfortunately, there is nothing, at this point, that you can do to help him with that.

    You can help yourself, though. Life will go on. This may not have turned out as you had hoped. Then again, there is still so much before you that might surprise you.

    That is why I most Sincerely say ... meaning it much deeper than it sounds ... no matter what ...

    Keep smilin'!!
    Chaz
    WISDOM is the Knowledge you've gained ... After you could have used it! _Me

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