First off, it is great to hear from you again.
Secondly, Craiger is right. Your demons only have power if you let them. I know it is hard thing to work through. I have been down the road before. I lost the desire to live once. But I realized that I have something to live for. The people that I love and care for. They are the ones that kept me from doing something stupid. I would never be here if it wasn't for them.
Look deep inside yourself and find that one thing that you cling to, the one place that you go to make your self feel better. Focus on that one thing. It will help you come out of this. Only you can find that one thing. You may not know what it is yet. Think of something or someone that you love. Use that and just think that you will get out of it.
I believe in you, Even though I dont know you at all. I love you. I care about you. We all do here. Good luck in your search for peace. It may not come over night, but it will come. Don't give up hope.