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  1. #101
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Jobbio!
    Welcome back!!!
    I was afraid we'd never hear more about Ernie. I've missed you.

    A Verry nice installment. I see grad school agreed with your horniness, um, WRITING abilities, yeah THAT's it, WRITING abilities, lol.

    Hope all is well in the real world for you.
    Don't be a stranger.



    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  2. #102

    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    wow - just found this story and read from start to present...very well written and hot final chapter...look forward to more!

  3. #103
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Wow! Nick, I'll give you your Doctorate after that chapter. By the way, welcome back. We've missed you and Earnie, but this was well worth the long hiatus.

    I don't think Sandra is going to be kept in the dark much longer. But who knows, she may join in and make this a menage a trois.
    Looking forward to more.

    Craiger

  4. #104

    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Great chapter, thanks for the update.

  5. #105
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Great chapter, can't wait to read what happens next.

  6. #106

    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    OMG loving this story so far but please get rid of that cunt Steven... I want to bash him so much and you should of saved the txts so u can show Grant!!! LOL i get in to stories a bit to much... cant wait for next chapter

  7. #107
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Hey guys, just wanted you all to know I've not given up on Ernie and Co. I've been extremely busy lately in a new role at work and I have very little time to myself. I have a few weeks of for Xmas so will try and get another chapter completed then. Also, for regular readers, I got my Masters results last week and passed with a good mark.

    Apologies for seemingly giving up so close to the end, there is more coming.

    Nick
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  8. #108
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Quote Originally Posted by jobbio View Post
    Hey guys, just wanted you all to know I've not given up on Ernie and Co. I've been extremely busy lately in a new role at work and I have very little time to myself. I have a few weeks of for Xmas so will try and get another chapter completed then. Also, for regular readers, I got my Masters results last week and passed with a good mark.

    Apologies for seemingly giving up so close to the end, there is more coming.

    Nick
    A Happy/Merry Christmas to you, to, "St." Nick!
    Congratulations on the awarding of your hard-earned Master's degree.

    It's been a hectic year for a lot of people, and I've noticed other students, both FT Undergrad and Master's Candidates stressing a great deal the past few months.

    Good luck in your new role at work, too. Hopefully all is good for you, even if running you a bit ragged.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  9. #109
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Well, only a few months since the last update. Many apologies but if you've not come across my tale before, please go back and read from the beginning.

    Again, not a great chapter- it's more of a summary for those who are new to the story but it does show a bit of development in Ernie's unconventional relationships. I hope you enjoy it and I'm going to try and get this finished in due course.

    Hope everyone's well- comments welcome, as usual.

    Nick

    Chapter 21- Awkward moments

    “Get in the shower, NOW!” Matt ordered as he pulled on his jogging bottoms, tucking his meaty cock up into the waistband and pulling his t-shirt down over it. “I’ll stall Sandra for a bit and you can come down when you’re ready. And for fuck’s sake, brush your teeth, your breath stinks of cock.”

    I laughed despite the situation.

    I grabbed my towel, ran to the shower and turned it on. Luckily the bathroom was at the back of the house and I doubted that she would be able to hear me putting it on from the front door. I began washing myself down, trying to erase every sign of the fact that I’d just fucked Matt. I rinsed my mouth out several times using the shower water and scrubbed my body down using far too much shower gel and a sponge.

    By the time I’d finished in the shower, my skin was starting to sting and I hoped I’d removed every trace of sex from my body.

    I rushed to brush my teeth, and it was only when I caught a look at myself in the mirror that I realised that I needed to slow down as it would look even more suspicious if I went down too quickly after turning the shower off. Fuck! Why was I over thinking this? Be cool, Ernie. Be cool.

    In all the worrying about Sandra, I hadn’t stopped to think about the fact that I’d just had sex with Matt. That didn’t actually matter at the moment. Anyway, it was only sex.

    When I came downstairs, Matt and Sandra were laughing over a coffee in the make-shift kitchen which was literally a kettle and a microwave on a plank of wood. He seemed completely relaxed and wasn’t showing any signs of guilt about what had just happened. He was far less panicked about the situation than I was.

    “Oh here you are!” She giggled.

    “I didn’t hear you come in!” I lied, “Have you been here long?”

    “Only a few minutes. Matt said you were in the shower and invited me in.”

    “Thanks, Matt.” I smiled.

    “No problem!” he turned to Sandra, “Anyways, Ernie and I have been working hard today. We’ve built up quite a sweat and I’m exhausted. I’m going to go and have a shower and chill out. I’ll leave you two to it.” He winked at me as he passed me.

    Sandra didn’t stay long. She just called in to say that she’d heard about a kitchen sale at a local home store and said they had some pretty good deals on. We agreed that we’d go and take a look at some point. Naturally, we had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle (and a few fumbles both over and under the clothes) before she left.

    I went upstairs and knocked on Matt’s door.

    “Come in!” he called from inside.

    “Hi.” I said nervously.

    “Well done for waiting until I invited you in that time,” he grinned, “You never know what I could be doing!” He laughed.

    I smiled back but it didn’t take away any of the tension I was feeling. “Can I talk to you?” I enquired.

    “I know what you’re going to say Ernie,” he looked upset, “You’re going to tell me it was all a mistake and that it can’t happen again because you care too much about me and you don’t want to ruin it with Sandra. It’s ok, you’ve said it plenty of times before- I’m getting used to it by now. I would have given up on you if you were anyone else but you know how I feel about you…”

    I stood dumbfounded, he’d taken the words right out of my mouth and he was right. I had delivered that speech many times before and every time I’d gone back on my word and ended up doing things with him. I knew I wasn’t in love with him, was I? I was in love with the sex…Yeah, the sex. I was in love with the sex.

    “If you’ve got nothing else to say,” he continued, “you can go.”

    “Listen, Matt. I’ve just realised that I can’t say to you that it’s not going to happen again because we both know that that would be lie. I’m finally able to enjoy sex again and I’m loving it, but you need to remember that it’s the sex I’m in love with and not you.”

    He looked like I’d just punched him in the face.

    “I know that’s a completely shit thing to say, but it’s the truth.”

    “I know, Ernie.” He looked solemn, “you blew my mind earlier on. It was the best sex I’ve ever had. I know you’ll never love me in the way that I love you and I don't know if I can keep playing this game. I've had my Mum and my Dad walk out on me recently and all I want is someone that is gonna care about me and I'm not sure if you can be that person. You're too confusing and I need consistency. Anyway, it’s late and we’ve both got work tomorrow. Can you turn the light off when you leave? Thanks.”

    With that, he rolled over and I knew that was the end of the conversation. I turned of the light and whispered a ‘goodnight’ but he didn’t reply. I, Ernie Carmichael, am the king of fucking things up and this conversation has just proved that.

    Matt left early for work the next morning so I didn’t see him. I got the impression that he didn’t want to talk to me after the night before and, in many ways, I didn’t blame him.

    When my phone beeped a few minutes after I woke up, I hoped it would be Matt with one of his usual cheeky texts that I so enjoyed receiving. Instead it was Stephen: 5 days, Ernie. Just name a time and place and I’ll be there. I’m sure Sandra would love to know about last night.

    Shit! Fuck! Tits and assholes! Matt had obviously told him already- that’s probably where he’d gone so early this morning. Fuck! FUCK! I was really starting to fret now, was this more than the joke that I’d assumed it was? At first I had though Stephen was just playing with me in order to make me squirm, but the longer it went on, the more I was beginning to think he was serious.

    I tried to call Matt’s mobile and also at work but he didn’t answer at either. I called his mobile again and left him a message. “Matt, it’s me. Please call me when you get this. It’s kinda important and it needs to get sorted ASAP.”

    I left for work and Matt didn't call back all day. I felt like a teenaged girl, checking my phone every five minutes for a call or a text from a boy. I did that thing of putting it on silent and face down and promising myself I wouldn't check it for at least an hour. Only to cave five minutes later and get frustrated when there was nothing from him.

    I don't know why I needed to speak to him so badly. I just wanted to talk to him and explain the situation so he knew not to talk to Stephen about us any more. I didn't know if he'd listen or care after the way I'd treated him. Why should he? I'd been using him for my own selfish gains for the last few weeks and picked him up and threw him away whenever I felt like it. But, the again, I hoped that if he did feel for me in the way that he said he did, he'd find a way to help me.

    The day dragged and as soon as I was able to, I left work and headed to the gym. I wanted to work out but I wanted to see Matt even more.

    He was talking to a colleague when I arrived.

    "Matt, can I have a word?" I interrupted.

    "Not now, I'm working."

    "It's cool, Matt" his colleague said "take five minutes."

    "Thanks, Charlie." Matt smiled before turning to me. "What?"

    "Did you get my voicemail?"

    "Yep, I didn't really feel like getting involved in another one of your important conversations today?" His tone of voice was notably sarcastic as he said 'important conversations.'

    "Please Matt. Just listen for a moment."

    "You've got a minute, I need to get back to work."

    I didn't know how to start explaining so I came right out and said it in one breath. "Please can you not tell Stephen about what goes on with us, he's using it to blackmail me and is threatening to tell Sandra about me and you. He says that if I don't have sex with him by the wedding he'll tell her everything and I can't let that happen." I realised I was almost begging him.

    "I fail to see how this affects me," he said coldly.

    "Please, Matt. The least you can do is keep 'us' private. I thought you might have a word with him and get him to see sense."

    "I have to get back to work now," he sighed and walked off.

    I was astonished. I couldn't believe he could disregard the gravitas of the situation like that. It was as if he didn't care if Sandra found out. I was fuming, too angry to even think or work out. I left the gym and started driving, I needed to talk to someone but I had nowhere to go, I couldn't offload my troubles on Sandra and Grant was out of the question- I didn't want to ruin his relationship and potentially mine in the process. I drove round for an couple of hours until I'd calmed down enough to start thinking rationally again.

    * * *

    Matts car was in the drive as I got home and he was sitting on the front step waiting for me. As I got closer, I could see he'd been crying.

    "I'm sorry, Ernie. I've fucked up."

    "Matt? Whats wrong?"

    "I went round to see Stephen. I wanted to try and make it all better but I think I've made it worse."

    "Why? How? What do you mean?"

    "After work. I went to see him and he was awful. He said that he'd never forgive me for getting in the way of you and him. He kept telling me that he'd been after you for years and years and that I was to blame for you refusing to sleep with him. He was vile, Ernie. I've never seen anyone with that much hatred in their eyes before, even those guys that beat me up didn't look like he did." He was crying again.

    "Come here, Kiddo." I said as I sat and put my arm around him. "Did he hit you?"

    "No. He know's he couldn't hurt me. But he was so...so vicious, I don't understand what's happened to him."

    "Look, Matt. Grant told me that Stephen has a thing for me. I've known for a while but didn't think it was important. Since you and I started...well... y'know, Stephen's somehow got it in his head that something is going to happen with me and him. I told him that he's getting married to my best friend and that's the end of it."

    "Is that the only reason?"

    "What do you mean?"

    "Well, if Stephen was single would you have slept with him?"

    "I....ummm... Err. I dunno, Matt. Probably not. No. Definitely not. Can we not have this conversation now. We need to work out how to dissolve this situation before it gets any worse."

    "Sorry, Ernie." He sobbed.

    "You have nothing to apologise for, kiddo. I've dragged you into my mess and you've done nothing wrong."

    He grinned "You know. I'm so glad I met you, Ernie. I know we are in an odd situation but we always sort it out."

    Still sitting on the doorstep with my arm round Matt, I leant down and planted a kiss on his lips.
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  10. #110
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Y I B. Our Good Author Jobbio has secreted away enough bits and pieces of time to write another chapter.

    Welcome, Back!

    I'll be back - watching The King's Speech this fine, sunny Sunday Mother's Day afternoon.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  11. #111
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Welcome back, Nick. Ernie's problems seem to get worse as the time goes on. I still can't get a grip on how easy it is for him to pick such tactless things to say to Matt. He needs to be honest with himself, Sandra, Steven and Matt. To wake up and smell the coffee, as they say. Sorry, I'm not feeling too much remorse for him at this time. Matt's vulnerability along with his loyalty to Ernie has been proven and yet he still mouths off before he really thinks. Hopefully things will get better before they get worse....lol,,,,but where would the story be if it didn't have all this turmoil.

    Craiger

  12. #112
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Ernie's problem is that he genuinely thinks he doesnt have any feelings for Matt and that's why he can manage to say such horrible things to him. For him, it's all about the sex.

    I've written the epilogue already so I have some idea of where everyone will end up. And, to be honest, it's a pretty shitty end for most of the characters. I reckon there will be about 6 more chapters, or thereabouts- culminating at the wedding. Then the epilogue will then be a time shift into the future.

    I'm not going to say anymore because I'll give too much away. But I'll endevour to finish it within the next few months.
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  13. #113
    JUB Addict Craiger's Avatar
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Quote Originally Posted by jobbio View Post
    Ernie's problem is that he genuinely thinks he doesnt have any feelings for Matt and that's why he can manage to say such horrible things to him. For him, it's all about the sex.

    I've written the epilogue already so I have some idea of where everyone will end up. And, to be honest, it's a pretty shitty end for most of the characters. I reckon there will be about 6 more chapters, or thereabouts- culminating at the wedding. Then the epilogue will then be a time shift into the future.

    I'm not going to say anymore because I'll give too much away. But I'll endevour to finish it within the next few months.
    That sound ominous, Nick. I look forward to it.

    Craiger

  14. #114
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Nick,
    You told us, a long time ago, that we'd not be real happy with Ernie and his arsehole actions as we progressed.

    You're not wrong, I'll say that.

    Matt is such a mensch, a real good guy to the bone.

    Stephen is a B-I-T-C-H!!!

    Grant knows what Stephen is, and loves him, anyway.

    Sandra is going to be blindsided.

    Other than that, it's just another day in paradise.

    It's good hearing from you and your not so merry cast of characters.



    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  15. #115

    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Really good update. Very intriguing.

  16. #116
    On the Prowl therealm1's Avatar
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Glad to see this story is back in action!

    I'll take the unpopular approach and say that I understand exactly what Ernie thinks he's feeling. I don't agree with his delivery and plus if he wanted sex without strings he shouldn't be fucking a friend. Particularly a friend that's pretty much damaged goods.

    And Stephen is just sick. If I were Ernie, I'd definitely go to Grant about the bullshit Stephen is pulling. If we're such good friends, my friend deserves to know how his "better half" is treating me.

  17. #117
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Great story. Just read from beginning.

  18. #118
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Hi all, I've just realised that I've still not finished Ernie's adventure and that it's been nearly a year since my last chapter.

    I'm going to endeavour to finish it ASAP. Im posting this quick message now in the hope of attracting some new readers before the next chapter.

    Thank you all for bearing with me.
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  19. #119
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    It's great to hear from you!


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  20. #120
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Not the best chapter, but it's been difficult trying to get back into it after so long.
    Chapter 22- Going Back to go Forward.

    "Ernie! Stop!" he said as he pulled away from the kiss.

    "I'm sorry, Matt." I replied.

    "No! I've had enough of your apologies. It's the same every fucking time. You say nothing can happen and then you end up doing exactly what you've told me that we can't do. Your girlfriend has just left, and you're kissing me. For a guy that isn't gay or interested you're doing a very good job of showing me otherwise."

    "I'm a mess, Matt. You're the only stable thing I have right now. Stephen is doing his best to either fuck me or fuck me over and I'm still not getting any closer to having sex with Sandra. You're pretty much the only thing keeping me sane and I'm confused about my feelings towards you."

    "What the fuck do you mean by that? You just want me for the sex? Or something more?"

    "At first it was just the sex- you were able to get me what I wanted but now... Now, I don't know. Like I said, you're the only thing I can truly rely on at the moment and... I..."

    "And what, Ernie?"

    "And I think I'm falling for you..." i said. Matt sat there in silence staring at me. He looked at me like I'd just slapped him with a tickle- a mixture of shock and pleasure all at once but then I went and fucked it up by saying: "but I'm in love with Sandra more."

    And the pleasure in his eyes drained away. He now looked like he'd actually been slapped and, even worse, like he wanted to slap me too. Then he rolled his eyes, stood up and went back inside."

    My phone beeped, another text from Stephen: you two looked cosy on the porch- Sandra will love the picture I've just taken. 4 days left.

    Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

    As far as I could see it, I had three options now. Each option either meant losing Matt, Sandra or Grant or any combination of them. I had no idea what to do- if I told Sandra, she'd leave me; if I told Grant, he'd take Stephen's side and Matt, once again, didn't want to have anything to do with me. There was only one person I could talk to about this, the one person who knew me better than anyone in the world, but also the person that I'd vowed never to talk to again.

    Without thinking, I picked up my phone and dialled the number that, even though I'd deleted from my phone, I still knew by heart all these years later.

    The phone rang six times and then it was answered.

    "Hello?" said the all-too-familiar voice.

    "Hi," I said "it's me."

    "Ernie? What are you doing calling me? We said we'd not speak after we left..."

    "I know, Debbie, I'm sorry but I'm in a bad state and you were the only person that I could think to call."

    "This isn't a good idea, Ernie." She retorted. "I'm trying to move on fro you, our marriage and...well, you know..."

    "I know, Debbie, but I've fucked up on so many levels and you were always the one who would put me straight. Please! Just this one phone call and I promise that you'll never hear from my again."

    "You have five minutes."

    I didn't know where to start, so I started from the beginning. There was no need to keep secrets and she'd be able to tell if I was lying. I told her about Sandra, my breakdown, Dr Hillard, Matt, Stephen, more Matt, about Hillard's diagnosis and then my turbulent Matt and Sandra love triangle. In the five minutes I was talking she didn't say a word and, when I'd finished, she sighed and spoke in a reassuring way.

    "Nothing's ever simple with you is it, Ernie?"

    "No," I laughed "it's not."

    "Knowing you as long as I have, I can tell you this- you're clearly not gay. You're just confusing your enjoyment of sex with genuine love and, as this 'Matt' is the only one you're getting any from, you think you love him. I want you to be happy, Ernie, and Sandra seems like a great woman for sticking by you in all of this. Give it time with her and, maybe, just maybe, a few years down the line, it'll start working again. I'm going to put the phone down now, please don't call me again. It just brings back too many memories for me."

    "Is everything ok with you though, Debbie?"

    And, with that, she hung up.

    I sat quietly, reflecting on what had just happened. Debbie, as usual, was right. Right about not needing to talk to each other again, but also about Sandra and Matt. Matt was convenient in its most basic terms, Matt was a means to an end. He served a sexual purpose that I'd been deprived of for years, but nothing more than that.

    "Who was on the phone?" He interrupted my thoughts about him.

    "Debbie."

    "Your ex wife?"

    "The one and only."

    "What on earth were you calling her for?" Matt seemed shocked, he had every right to be.

    "I needed her advice. She'd always tell me the truth and she's given me some good guidance."

    "And..."

    "Well, you're not going to like this, Matt, but she said that I clearly love Sandra and I should make a go of it with her. I think she's right, too. Sandra's stuck by me through all of this and she deserves it's only fair that commit to her. I don't have any feelings for you, Matt. It's just sex. Yes, it's great, but it's not enough of a basis for anything sustainable between us. As of now, I'm off limits- I need to concentrate on my relationship with Sandra and, although you're welcome to stay here, you need to understand that, as of now, it's purely plutonic."

    "That's fine, Ernie," He replied coldly "but please remember this. When your bored or horny, or when Stephen's text you or you've tried to have sex with Sandra and you can't. You will find my door firmly locked and my headphones on drowning you out. If that's how it's going to work, it's going to work both ways."

    "Do you mean that?" I was shocked by his honesty.

    "Of course I do," he replied "and, unlike you, I stick by what I say. Anyway, I only really came out to say I'm going out. I've got a date... With Chase."

    "Chase? The guy from the party?"

    "Yup. I'll see you later. I'm gonna be late." He turned and walked away.

    As I watched him leave, I tried to reassure myself that I'd made the right decision. Debbie had told me I was better off with Sandra and Debbie was usually right. Yes. I'd definitely made the right choice- there was more chance of a steady happy future with Sandra.
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  21. #121
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Hi, Nick.
    Don't be too hard on yourself - not bad installment at all - I mean, feels shitty from where Matt's sitting, and Ernie's head if fucked up royally, but the tension and the plot line are good.

    It's great to hear from you. I hope all is well in your life.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  22. #122
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Great to have a new update, Nick. It's always been such a fantastic story with all the twists and turns. This chapter needed no re-reading of the prior ones as it felt as though it had just been a day or so from the last. I worry about Ernie's dependence on Debbie's advise however. She may have known him, but much has transpired since their last contact. I hope, for Matt's sake, Ernie's decision is not written in stone. Time will tell and I certainly look forward to reading how it will all play out.

    Craiger

  23. #123
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Chapter 23- Definite Drama; Dangerous Decisions
    As the evening rolled on, I kept thinking about how I was going to make it work with Sandra. She was was such a great girl and we had so much in common that it should be the easiest thing in the world. I was glad for my chat with Debbie as it had really sorted out my thoughts and clarified exactly what I was thinking. There was no doubt, Sandra definitely held more prospects for the future but, still, I couldn't stop thinking about the situation with Matt. He was a great kid and he deserved to be treated right.

    I was sitting, watching a movie when Matt arrived home. Alone, this time.

    "How was it?" I asked, trying to sound as breezy as possible.

    "Disastrous." He replied bluntly.

    "How come?"

    "He's a lot more camp than I remember. I must have been really drunk that night- he's not my type at all."

    "Oh..." I didn't know what else to say.

    "You want a beer?" he smiled at my awkwardness.

    "Sounds good."
    He returned from the makeshift kitchen a minute later with two room-temperature bottles of been. He handed me one, took a swig from his and nearly spat it out.

    "Fuck! You really need to get a fridge," he laughed.

    I took a gulp of mine and he was right, "yup, it's fucking disgusting."

    We both laughed and this seemed to ease the tension between us. However, I still didn't want to be the one to bring up what had happened earlier and I didn't think he would either.

    "Right, I'm going to bed then." he said.

    "Already?" I questioned, "It's still early,"

    "Well, there's no beer so I'm going to go to sleep."

    "Why don't we go out? Your call."

    "What, like a date?" He smiled. He had a great smile.

    "No, not like a date!" I giggled back. "Like two mates, because that's what we are now."

    "Yes, Ernie. I'm more than aware of that." he sounded disappointed. "Anyway, get your glad rags on we're going to Pretty."

    "Pretty?!"

    "Yup, you said it was my choice and I want to go to Pretty."

    "OK..." I sighed "but we can't be too late, we've got the wedding rehearsal tomorrow."

    "Oh yeah- that's going to be awkward! What with Stephen not talking to either of us!"

    "Screw Stephen!" I replied.

    "Hah! If you did, that would make the situation a hell of a lot easier!" he smiled. "Now got and get ready, I'll call the taxi."

    Thirty minutes later, we were sitting in Pretty trying to have a conversation over the whirring beats and heavy bass line of today's favourite pop song. It was difficult to hear what Matt was saying so we spent a lot of the time sitting in silence, people watching. Matt seemed to get a lot of attention from guys. Those that didn't come and introduce themselves to him would give long, lingering glances as they passed our table.

    Of those that did come and speak, not one of them last more than an exchange of a few pleasantries; he seemed to be an expert as dismissing guys without leaving them upset.
    By this point we'd been in Pretty for a few hours and both of us were marginally drunk.

    "What are you saying to get rid of them so quickly?" I asked when the seventh guy had left after giving me a knowing nod.

    "Oh! I'm just saying that we're a couple."

    "Are you fucking serious? So everyone in here thinks I'm a fag?"

    "It's just easier to get rid of them that way, if they think I'm unavailable, they stop pestering me. I do it all the time with my gay mates."

    "Yeah, but I'm not one of your gay mates, Matt. How many times do I need to tell you that?"

    "I'm just messing. It's better than having some ugly guy bothering me."

    "Can't you find another way? Rather than having everyone thinking that I'm gay?"

    "Oh, for fuck's sake, lighten up! Your so fucking highly strung. You're in a gay bar! If you're that worried about what people think, why don't you fuck off and go home. In fact, even better, I've had enough of being around you today, I'm going."

    "Matt! Wait!" I jumped up and followed him.

    He was walking out the door as I caught up with him.

    "I'm going home. You're more than welcome to come but please don't try and talk to me. I'm only sharing with you so that the cab fare is cheaper." He extended his arm, and hailed the next taxi that came past. "Blinco Avenue," he told the driver as a I got in next to him..

    We sat in absolute silence for the entire journey home. I tried to catch his eye to see him smile but he pulled up the collar of his jacket and looked out of the window. When the taxi driver told us the fare, he handed me half the cash and jumped out, heading for the front door.

    As I paid the driver, I noticed Matt waiting on the porch. I happy that he'd obviously stopped to clear the air.

    "Are you alright," I asked as I approached him.

    "Fine." he replied.

    "Why haven't you gone in? Did you want to talk?"

    "No, I have nothing left to say to you. Ever. I've just forgot my key."

    "Oh," I said as I opened the door, letting Matt in first.

    "Actually, Ernie, there is something I want to say. I'm going to move out tomorrow. I'm going to start looking for somewhere to live."

    "Where you going to go in the meantime?"

    "I don't know, i'll stay in a hotel or something. All I know is I can spend a minute longer in this shitty house with a guy I fucking hate."

    "Hate?" I was shocked. just hours before this guy was telling me he loved me.

    "Yes, Ernie. Hate. I can't fucking stand you anymore. After what's happened with my family, I thought you'd look out for me. But all you've done is fuck my head up even more."

    "Matt, don't be like that."

    "Like what? Acting hurt? That's exactly what I am, Ernie. Hurt. And you're the cunt that's hurt me more times in the last few months than anyone I've ever met before. So, can you see what I'm leaving now? CAN YOU?"

    I stood in silence.

    "Yes, you can," he continued "because every time you've hurt me, you said you're sorry about you've just gone and hurt me again. I'm leaving first thing, Ernie. You can explain to Grant and Stephen why I'm not at the rehearsal. And, now I come to mention Stephen, I hope he does manage to split you and Sandra up, because, maybe then you'll feel a tiny bit of the hurt that you've made me feel recently."

    He stormed upstairs, slammed his door and the last thing I heard from him was the key turning in the lock.

    ***

    True to his word, Matt had already left by the time I got up the next morning. He left a note on his door which simply read: Will be back for my stuff later.

    Fuck! I'd done it again. Why did drama seem to follow me around? If it wasn't Sandra, it was Stephen and if not Stephen, it was Matt. Thinking about Stephen reminded me of the text he'd sent. He now had a picture of Matt and I kissing and I knew he wouldn't have any harm in using it.

    I couldn't believe it but I was starting to think the only way to resolve the situation was to sleep with Stephen. Could I do it though? Not only physically but also mentally- could I go behind Grant's back just to sort out my own drama? It would make things a hell of a lot easier. It would mean that I could just move on without the fear of Sandra knowing about me and Matt and it would get Stephen off my back. But what if Grant found out? Or Sandra? Or Matt? I'd obviously pissed him off- what would he do if he found out that I'd been with Stephen just to keep Sandra?

    How shit does that sound anyway? Fucking a guy just to keep my girlfriend.

    I showered quickly and got ready for the rehearsal. I was apprehensive about what was about to come. I'd be seeing Stephen for the first time since he'd started trying to blackmail me and, even worse, Grant would be there so I couldn't even begin to try and iron things out with Stephen.

    I arrived late. Everyone was already inside and Stephen turned to greet me.

    "Hurry up, Princess Ernelia. You're late." He said in a tone that implied there was absolutely nothing wrong.

    "Sorry, guys." I smiled at them all.

    "Where's Matt?" asked Grant.

    "I'll tell you later." I said.

    We were talked through the ins and outs of the ceremony. It wasn't like a normal wedding where the groom waits and the bride enters later. Grant and Stephen had decided that they were going to walk in together at the start of the ceremony. It didn't look like it was going to be a long ceremony and I was quite happy about that. When all of Stephen and Grant's questions had been answered, Grant approached me.

    "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met, I'm Grant. And you are?"

    "Huh?" I replied.

    "Where the fuck have you been for the last few days? I've heard nothing from you. I was actually surprised when you turned up today."

    "I'm sorry, Grant. I've had so much on with the house and..."

    "Yeah, yeah... Here you go again, there's always an excuse, Ernie."

    "What do you mean?"

    "You know exactly what I mean. Now, where's Matt?"

    "No idea. He's moved out."

    "Moved out? Where's he gone?" Grant was obviously shocked.

    "Like I said, I have no idea. We had a bust up because he couldn't handle the fact that I want to be with Sandra. He got drunk and irrational and I've not seen him since."

    "Oh... So you fucked up again then?" he asked.

    "No. He's had it in his head for ages that we're going to be together and he's pissed off because I told him that it wasn't going to happen."

    "And how did that idea get into his head, I wonder." Grant mumbled.

    "I've never fucking said it was going to happen... He got the wrong end of the stick."

    "Then wrong end of your dick, more like." Grant said sarcastically. "Look, I don't care what's happening between you two- I'm bored of your drama. But, if there is any chance you're going to fuck up mine and Stephen's big day, I'd rather you didn't come."

    I was about to get angry about what had just been said but Stephen interrupted us. "Can I just have word with, Ernie a second." He said to Grant, "Its nothing important I just need to know something for his wedding favour."

    Grant grunted- he hated the idea of wedding favours as he saw them as an unnecessary expense- and sloped off to talk to the others.

    "Thanks for replying to my texts." Stephen said coldly while smiling sweetly.

    "Thanks for blackmailing me, you little cunt." I replied.

    "Now, now, Ernie. I've got pictures, you'd do well to remember that."

    "So what if I do sleep with you? Will you promise to leave it?"

    "I will delete the photo as soon as I've cum and we'll never speak of it again."

    "Is that a promise?"

    "Yes, Ernie, that's a promise. I'll even let you video us so that you have something to use against me, should I go back on my word."

    "OK. I'll do it. Come to mine tomorrow at 8pm." I said, hoping this would be the end of it.
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  24. #124
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    And if you believe THAT, Ernie, I have a Bridge to sell you - the LONDON Bridge - its current location is Lake Havasu City, Arizona, USA.

    The bastard is going to fuck you over big time, Ernie.

    You're doing an excellent job of grabbing our attention, Nick.


    And I know, if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest . . .

  25. #125
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Do I feel sorry for Ernie???? Not in the least. He seems to be willing to screw up his relationship with his old mate Grant, because you know Grant will find out and he is doing it for a woman he can't even get a hardon with. Not to mention a young guy, Matt, that has been able to supply him with the where-with-all to get that erection and giving him more love than he really deserves. But, if he wants that sloppy ass of a blackmailer that he can't tolerate, let he have it. I would just hope he has an epiphany before he sticks Stephen and that the muddled mess of a brain clears itself of his arrogance. How's that for a rant........................lol

    Craiger

  26. #126
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    I'm so glad to see new installments of this tale. Thanks, Nick.

    Oh Ernie, Ernie. What are we going to do with you? I hope he will come to his senses sooner rather than later, but given how drama seems to follow him around, I expect him to be discovered mid-sex with Stephen by Grant and/or Sandra.
    "It's not a question of gay or straight. It's just a question of love."

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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Haha! So close! You'll see soon enough!
    "The difference between fiction and reality: fiction has to make sense."

  28. #128
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    Re: The Impotence of being Earnest.

    Great additional chapters as always. Can't wait to read what happens next!!

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