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  1. #1
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    I Don't Like the word Partner!

    OK here's the deal... I watch sooo many gay themed movies and shows... AND in every day life where a gay male will refer to there boyfriend as "there mate" or "there partner" and this truly makes me upset. I mean are we (gay people) so low to the ground that we cant refer to or boyfriend and every straight person does!?!? I know when I talk about my boyfriend i use the word "boyfriend." Well what is everyone's thoughts on this subject?

  2. #2
    theReckless
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I don't like 'partner'. It feels too formal.

    But I'm 21, so ohwell.

  3. #3
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    ok, then dont say it.

  4. #4
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    i don't really have an issue with the term "partner."




  5. #5
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by WordLife View Post
    OK here's the deal... I watch sooo many gay themed movies and shows... AND in every day life where a gay male will refer to there boyfriend as "there mate" or "there partner" and this truly makes me upset. I mean are we (gay people) so low to the ground that we cant refer to or boyfriend and every straight person does!?!? I know when I talk about my boyfriend i use the word "boyfriend." Well what is everyone's thoughts on this subject?
    ok, after reading your post. Usually when someone calls their boyfriend their partner, it means they are committed to them for life essentially. Seeing how it is illegal in most places for gays to marry, partner has been the substitute to calling them husband.

    As for "their mate" that is just a cultural thing.

  6. #6
    Mikami
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Sometimes I say it, other times I say partner. I don't know, doesn't really bother me too much/

  7. #7
    JUB Addict 12fear99's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I never use the word "partner". I usually use boyfriend or my best half or we use each others names.

  8. #8
    THE FLIRT JUB Moderator ronboy's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I introduced my "significant other" as either my partner or my boyfriend. I never really thought to distinguish between the two terms. The were interchangeable for me.


    The Three Musketeers... Bashful, Chrisglass, and Ronboy!

  9. #9
    jav1231
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    How about "podnuh!"

  10. #10
    F22-Raptor
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    If you're on the down low, then the word "partner" is safer than the word "boyfriend".

  11. #11
    JUB Addicts Orlandude's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    "Partner" doesn't bother me. I prefer it in longer term relationships. "Boyfriend" sounds so temporary and depending on the age of the person, he may not be a "boy". I guess if you are just dating or seeing each other, boyfriend is ok. It's almost like the words "cute" and "handsome". I think it's fine to say someone in their late teens or 20's is "cute" or hot or both. But a 30+ guy is "handsome" or hot. Or both!

    What really grates on my nerves is when someone introduces you to their partner or boyfriend and refers to him as "my LOVER". That is so dated and non-descript. Fortunately, I don't hear that much anymore. Mostly I hear "partner".

  12. #12
    On the Prowl HARDROCKERS's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    "Partner" doesn't bother me. I prefer to call mate.

  13. #13
    OrionFyre
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Orion: "Hey how's it going"
    Old friend: "man not bad, it's been forever!"
    Me: "yeah man it has."
    friend "who's this?"
    Me: "Gimp. he's my cum slave."

  14. #14
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I, too, have no problem with partner. I actually prefer to a lot of other terms. And, I think it's more appropriate to use when a relationship is more serious than just "boyfriend"
    There are people who love command and in their eagerness to assume it they are impatient at the formalities of taking
    over from someone else. I love command since it is the ideal welding of freedom and slavery. You can be happy
    with your freedom and when it becomes too dangerous you take refuge in your duty.

    -Ernest Hemingway, True at First Light

  15. #15
    Know thyself kallipolis's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    In those countries where civil unions/marriages between homosexual couples is now an accepted fact of life, the word partner has become a legal term to describe the two persons living in partnership.

    Utilising the word partner obviates the embarrassment, and even silliness of referring to a husband or wife.

    I appreciate that in the United States the gay community is just beginning to witness the birth of legally recognised civil unions between homosexual couples.

    I would feel rather self conscious being referred too, as my partner's "boyfriend." I have walked on this planet for far too many years, not to have grown out of my boyish obsessiveness with how others should address their partners.

  16. #16

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I don't think you quite understand the usage of the word "partner". Plenty of gay people refer to their significant other as their boyfriend or girlfriend. But as in straight couples, when you've committed yourself to someone, you no longer call them your boyfriend or girlfriend.

    It's just that unfortunately for us, we can't get legally married. So while our straight counterparts move on to calling each other "husband" or "wife", we're left with "partner", to differentiate a somewhat new or frivolous relationship with a committed, long term one.

  17. #17
    Cum_Slave
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by OrionFyre View Post
    Orion: "Hey how's it going"
    Old friend: "man not bad, it's been forever!"
    Me: "yeah man it has."
    friend "who's this?"
    Me: "Gimp. he's my cum slave."
    XD.

    I think that cum slave should replace every other word for a gay partner.

  18. #18
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    so do i, it's just not comfortable..

  19. #19
    Hard-up1
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Oddly, I think there are two forces at work here.

    One is that partner conveys sexual connotation in that sexual partner may be the implication when talking, which is unwanted when the conversation is more general about a life partner.

    The other is resentment that gay men are not given a term in law or in common culture that has the equal of husband and wife. Hetero couples do not commonly refer to one another as partner, or lover. They have a normalized term that clearly is understood to mean companion for life.

    Mate is the best I can find. One's mate generally is not a sexual expression, and has more of the companion meaning without the Victorian obfuscation that companion has.

  20. #20
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I think older gay couples, that arent married, use "partner" because it sounds weird to use boyfriend after being torgether for 30 years.

    In my house, we use partner for straight and gay couples.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  21. #21

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by WordLife View Post
    OK here's the deal... I watch sooo many gay themed movies and shows... AND in every day life where a gay male will refer to there boyfriend as "there mate" or "there partner" and this truly makes me upset. I mean are we (gay people) so low to the ground that we cant refer to or boyfriend and every straight person does!?!? I know when I talk about my boyfriend i use the word "boyfriend." Well what is everyone's thoughts on this subject?
    We're not straight people, sweetie. Are you saying we should aspire to be like them, or simply that there shouldn't be a reason that we shouldn't be able to use some of the names they have for a significant other? If it is the latter, then I agree with you. Also, I'm going to go out on a limb, and correct your grammar. There is a difference between THERE, and THEIR, You said "A gay male will refer to THERE boyfriend, as "there mate" or "there partner"" WHAT?! C'mon man, we're all educated here. Correction: "A gay male will refer to THEIR boyfriend as "THEIR mate" or "THEIR partner"" Sorry, but I just couldn't resist.
    Last edited by GregKII; December 2nd, 2012 at 06:58 AM.

  22. #22

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Well when your Mr Barak Obama finally gets around to just deign to change the law to accommodate all your bleating the word will be in your marriage contract.

    (I will not get married because I am an outlaw)

  23. #23
    Hard-up1
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by pat grimshaw View Post
    (I will not get married because I am an outlaw)
    Oh, SURELY there are other reasons, Pat.

  24. #24
    Of Nightmares & Secrets. MoufOfKhaos's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Different terms can apply. Pick one that you like.



    Fuck you, Spider Man.
    "I snuff their tongues, my heart a-flutter,

    These words i speak are gates to Hell..."

  25. #25
    ecce homo rareboy's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAnne View Post
    I think older gay couples, that arent married, use "partner" because it sounds weird to use boyfriend after being torgether for 30 years.

    In my house, we use partner for straight and gay couples.
    This is it exactly.

    We don't use husband because that seems to imply role playing.

    Partners are equals.

  26. #26
    AshyPhoenix
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I only use "partner" in cases where people may not be gay-friendly. Otherwise, I say "boyfriend". It's a bit too soon to be thinking about calling him my husband.

  27. #27
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard-up1 View Post
    Oh, SURELY there are other reasons, Pat.
    It must be comforting to not have to put the idea to the test since it is 'outlawed' down under.

    I'm sure though that all the suitors who have been calling at Grimshaw's door are crushed.

  28. #28
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I'm going to put this thread back where it belongs.

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  29. #29
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I hate the word "Partner" as well. I prefer to say, "He's my bitch!"

  30. #30

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    My first boyfriend used to refer to me as "his love." I thought it was sweet and more personal, so I use "my love" when in casual conversation.

  31. #31
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    when i introduce my other half I use the words my doll...this is my doll Rick. Sometimes I say he's my sweet doll, but that's reserved for people who come to the house to do work for us, like the painters or plumber......
    FPNY
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  32. #32
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Partner implies a business or work association.
    "Consort", "Lover", "Cicisbeo" are much better for social connections.

  33. #33

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Partner works for me.

  34. #34
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    The term for a married person's spouse who is male is "husband."

    I don't get where it is silly or implies role-playing or what have you. "Husband and husband" is just as valid as "husband and wife."

    I'm comfortable using the word, but I don't do so religiously. Probably because it sounds slightly old-fashioned in an era where so many relationships, hetero or homo, endure between people who are not formally married. In social contexts where my straight friends might refer to their boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner, I'd likely do the same.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  35. #35

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    Probably because it sounds slightly old-fashioned
    There's that.

  36. #36
    美しいヨーロッパ Scealle's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I feel like Partner is such a loose term. It could mean anything basically from status to business to friendship. I would prefer date/lover to refer me to a closer term if possible.

  37. #37

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by bankside View Post
    in an era where so many relationships, hetero or homo, endure between people who are not formally married.
    Ah. I was thinking of the poor odds for long term wedded bliss. Strikes me as the thing not to do, marriage.

    But when I think of it as just another legal arrangement...the negative connotations kinda disappear. Suddenly it's much more appealing a proposition.

  38. #38
    PerScientiam AdJustitiam bankside's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by Native Son View Post
    Ah. I was thinking of the poor odds for long term wedded bliss. Strikes me as the thing not to do, marriage.

    But when I think of it as just another legal arrangement...the negative connotations kinda disappear. Suddenly it's much more appealing a proposition.
    Ah.. but I would not have a partner or a husband if I didn't think we could go the distance. I don't think of "marriage" as a subtype of legal contract. I think of it as a decision to spend a lifetime together. It used to be the only term that held any credibility in my mind for that type of relationship. But the fact that people have achieved that goal, in the absence of marriage equality and resorting to the term "partner," has increased the credibility of the word "partner" for a lifelong intimate relationship to the point where I feel comfortable using it on occasion.

    I don't think I can think of a negative connotation to the word "marriage," not at least since heterosexual people stopped negotiating marriage between a man and his future son-in-law. And not since marriage was made possible regardless of the ethnicity of the couple. And not since you had to go to a religious institution to get their approval.

    But civil marriage, which is really the only way I think about it, is a damn fine institution, now that those correctives are in place.
    Last edited by bankside; December 2nd, 2012 at 02:33 PM.
    Americans need to keep their guns so they can protect themselves from gun violence just like Nancy Lanza did. And like Chris Kyle did. And like Gabby Giffords did. And like Tom Clements did. And like Michael Piemonte. And Joseph Wilcox.

  39. #39

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I prefer anything but lover. Lover just sounds soo.... awkward. Especially in casual conversation.

  40. #40
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    While I sometimes use the word, I don't really care for it. It's better than lover or companion. I generally say husband, even though it is not legal. There is nothing role playing about it.
    Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to listen.

  41. #41
    CE&P Secret Police xbuzzerx's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I don't like it either. It always leaves people with somewhat uncomfortable confusion as to whether you two are in business together or trying to discreetly hide being a couple or what.

  42. #42
    JUB Addict HunterM's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    ^ Oh...there's nothing discreet about your relationship with him. I like your direct approach to call a spade a spade. Just call him your boy-toy already! There's no confusion there.

  43. #43
    JUB Addict roadtripboy's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I don't like it either. It makes sound like cowboys in an old western movie.

  44. #44
    Slut ZmercTheDuke's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Kind of funny situation with my dad who can be a bit dense headed at times; hes is the source of my foot-in-mouth disorder.

    so hes meeting a new doctor that he is going be in charge of, and shes obviously pregnant. My dad ask "When are you due, is your husband excited", female doctor " oh well my partner and I can't wait". Dad " oh you have a business outside the field of medicine? ", then before she can reply he finally realizes what she meant by partner . It was mix of hilarious and embarrassing moment. But to give him credit he is 65 years old.

  45. #45
    Gimmecat
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I don't like it either, I've always said boyfriend.

  46. #46
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I hate it with passion and I'm glad this bad habit is nonexistent over here.

    It's just a too common word. It feels strange that you can use the same word for someone you work with and someone you are in love with.

  47. #47
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    The word partner makes me think of an old male couple walking their dogs, it's not for me.

  48. #48
    The Mother of Loki Laufey's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    I also hate "special friend".

    Ruth Fisher: David, are you bringing a special friend to dinner? David Fisher: Why are my friends always special?

  49. #49
    Respira MissAnne's Avatar
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    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by WellingLuv View Post
    I prefer anything but lover. Lover just sounds soo.... awkward. Especially in casual conversation.
    An aquaintance spoke to me about his lover that introduced him to Judaism. "My lover was Jewish.." Both hilarious and awkward.
    " For all there is to feel, let it be felt"
    ― Emeli Sande

  50. #50

    Re: I Don't Like the word Partner!

    Quote Originally Posted by WordLife View Post
    OK here's the deal... I watch sooo many gay themed movies and shows... AND in every day life where a gay male will refer to there boyfriend as "there mate" or "there partner" and this truly makes me upset
    What word would you prefer, Wordlife?

    I get queasy when women refer to the "father of my Children" or a son refers to his "Mother and her Husband".

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