"I've made women swoon, and Matt Damon cry,
made Nicole Kidman melt when she gazed in my eyes.
My looks don't fit the common belief,
that Englishmen have big ears and, bad teeth."
Girls [singing] "He's the most beautiful man in the world."
Jude: You know when you're this good looking people think you're gay. I'm just English. I'm so good looking I don't even need to be funny to make people laugh. Watch this. Tina?
Tina: What is it, Jude?
Jude: What's that over there? (points offstage)
(Tina looks then looks back at Jude)
Jude: Made you look.
Tina: Ha ha ha ha ha ha, good one!
Jude: See what I mean?
Tina: That is so funny, and I'm a professional comedian.
Jude: It's so easy. No one even ever corrects me. Everyone, tonight's musical guest, Jessica Simpson!
Ashlee: (comes onstage) Actually it's- you can call me Jessica.
Jude: Maya? Maya, have you met Jessica?
Maya: (Shakes Ashlee's hand) Hi Jessica.
Ashlee: Actually it's Ashlee.
Ashlee: Ashlee, yeah.
Jude: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Maya: Oh, it's okay.
Ashlee: It's totally okay.
(Ashlee, Maya, and Amy all talk at the same time. It's hard to tell what each one is saying.)
Amy: I love you!
Jude: [sings] "I'm just a regular guy."
Girls: [singing] "No you're more than okay."
Maya: [singing] "I'd like to get to know you in a big way."
"We don't mean to be rude,
but we can conclude,
that we're in the mood for a man named,
(start to make a circle around Jude)
na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Hey Jude!"
Jude: [sings] "Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Jude, Wow!" (girls still singing in the background) Thank you very much. ASHLEE Simpson is here. Stick around. We'll be right back.