Please Help Protect Manhattan From ANOTHER 9-11, Please!

[General_Alfie]

This week, a small plane was able to legally fly up the East River and legally crash into an apartment building. Well, I ask, what if that airplane had WMD in it? What if it were Rove's "October Surprise" and it contained nerve gas or other noxious gasses? I say it's time to DEFEND OUR ISLAND. I'm asking all who love Manhattan to write to Mayor Bloomberg and DEMAND the formation of a "Citizens Rocket Corps," an all-volunteer air defense force, duly authorized to shoot and take down ANY suspicious aircraft in our airspace. Will you join me in this effort?

Citizen-Patriot Mr. Humma Kiddins on his way to Central Park for air defense duty

[smelter]

^If a Wisconsin State Lawmaker wants to arm teachers with sidearms ..... the next logical step in the progression would be to arm New York citizens with shoulder-fired rockets ...... it all makes perfect sense to me!

I only wish I had thought of it first.

[General_Alfie]

If our enemies of freedom and democracy Republican freaks friends join us in this cause, I think we should rename Central Park to MacArthur Park. How's that for bixexuality partisanship?

[smelter]

If our enemies of freedom and democracy Republican freaks friends join us in this cause, I think we should rename Central Park to MacArthur Park. How's that for bixexuality partisanship?

That's why you get the big bucks, General. You're an idea man! The plan is simple, like our President. But unlike our President, this plan just might work!

[CTF]

General Alfie, middle America thinks that New York and New Yorkers are scarey enough without arming them Rocket Propel Grenades, and Rocket Launchers.



What would happen if a rumble broke out between the Upper East and Upper West Sides?



Oh, I know! How about Ronald "Ray-gun" style "star-wars" type defense for the city?

Seriously though. What happened was tragic. But what I fear to be even more tragic, is that the event proves that so long as you're not flying a 707 a nut-job could really reek some serious damage and QUICK!

What was it? 15 minutes from take off after the accident?

In Texas we have a saying, "That's Fucked Up."

[General_Alfie]

What would happen if a rumble broke out between the Upper East and Upper West Sides?

Who said ANYTHING about opening this program up to those snotty so-called "East Siders?" This is a Hells Kitchen/UWS initiative. And I'm not saying we won't get our hair mussed, but What Price Freedom?

[Toriko]

I would be annoyed if outsiders would act to compel my local government into legislation or action. If it is a local government concern then it it is a concern for the locals. The same goes for foreign nation's lobbying Congress, like a certain one you complain about, Alfie---it is our nation, our taxes, and our citizens not to be used and abused for foreign gain.

Your petition should remain within Manhattan and has nothing to do with the rest of us. I wish you luck on your endeavor, mocking tragedies are something decent folk frown upon and all.

[General_Alfie]

...mocking tragedies are something decent folk frown upon and all.

Did I say anything about your haircut? No, I didn't say anything about your haircut.

Now look -- you can hide your head in the sand, you can sing Goerge WTC Bush's praises to high heaven, for all I care, but when it comes to the defense of the homoland, we're ALL Manhattanites. Remember: 9-11 changed EVERYTHING... except fashion tragedies.

[CTF]

General Alfie does have a point.

I seem to recall Dallas Mayor Laura Miller had asked what type of Federal Response should cities expect from Homeland Security in the event of a biological or nuclear (see I can say it!) attack. The response essentially was "your on your own."

All we have to do is to look at the City of New Orleans. I can't help but think if the leaders of that fine city knew what would really happen if they were hit with a Category 3 + hurricane, that they probably would have taken upon themselves to take better precautions/preventative measures for the deluge.

Perhaps the installation of "defensive ground to air batteries" around Manhatten?

That's not such a far fetched idea is it?

[General_Alfie]

Perhaps the installation of "defensive ground to air batteries" around Manhatten?

That's not such a far fetched idea is it?

I'm grabbing my camera and marching down to Times Square -- I just KNOW my idea has the support of good and reasonable people, despite what appeaser/communist sympathizer ico7 says!

[Toriko]

Did I say anything about your haircut? No, I didn't say anything about your haircut.

Did I say anything about your person or initiate any logical reason to bring up mine? No, I did not, mainly because doing so is the sign that someone is desperate and has no where else to go but through logical fallacies---that is why I had no reason to say anything about your person and, obviously, why you had had no other recourse.

Now look -- you can hide your head in the sand, you can sing Goerge WTC Bush's praises to high heaven, for all I care, but when it comes to the defense of the homoland, we're ALL Manhattanites. Remember: 9-11 changed EVERYTHING... except fashion tragedies.

I'm not a Manhattanite nor am I a New Yorker. I've not hidden anything in sand nor have I sung praises to Dubya or to the high heaven. I do know that 9/11 didn't change it so that the death of people after flying into buildings is funny. However, if you have some Flight 77 jokes, then go ahead and make them.

[Toriko]

I'm grabbing my camera and marching down to Times Square -- I just KNOW my idea has the support of good and reasonable people, despite what appeaser/communist sympathizer ico7 says!

Cite where I either supported or denounced your idea. Perhaps you can impress with your ability to photoshop text as you do those oh-so-convincing pictures of yours.

[General_Alfie]

^ We need an extended range interceptor, I can see that now. This is escalating into a "Fight them over there" sort of thing.

[Toriko]

All we have to do is to look at the City of New Orleans. I can't help but think if the leaders of that fine city knew what would really happen if they were hit with a Category 3 + hurricane, that they probably would have taken upon themselves to take better precautions/preventative measures for the deluge.

You think the leaders of New Orleans had no idea that a category 3 or higher hurricane would ever hit them or, in the case of Katrina, hit near them?

Perhaps the installation of "defensive ground to air batteries" around Manhatten?

That's not such a far fetched idea is it?

No, of course not, I think presidents Reagan and Bush II had similar ideas, grander ideas, for protecting the nation with a shield from airborne attack. Why wouldn't Alfie think like Reagan and Bush II? Although they were interested in saving the nation while Alfie's thinking only for his little island.

[CTF]

You think the leaders of New Orleans had no idea that a category 3 or higher hurricane would ever hit them or, in the case of Katrina, hit near them?

Surely you and I can agree that the biggest mistakes that many of our major municipalities make is the idea that the "Feds" will step in to render aid?

One of the reasons that New Orleans was destroyed, as I understand it, is that the U.S. Army Corp of Engineers demanded to have control over the "nation's waterways" around New Orleans, and therefore limited local control. Since the 1930's the parishs around New Orleans have been saying "show me the money."

Sadly, they're now saying the same thing.

My point is that our city leaders are, or should be responsible for protecting the municipalities in which they govern.

No, of course not, I think presidents Reagan and Bush II had similar ideas, grander ideas, for protecting the nation with a shield from airborne attack. Why wouldn't Alfie think like Reagan and Bush II? Although they were interested in saving the nation while Alfie's thinking only for his little island.

Well, Alfie's little Island is usually ten years ahead of the rest of the Nation, and considering it's the Nation's Financial Capitol (among other things) I feel that the protection of Manhatten is justified.

But hey, when the shit goes down, I'll be on my farm growing my own food, and waiting with a loaded shotgun for any son of bitch who wants to give me any greif about it.

[General_Alfie]

Although they were interested in saving the nation while Alfie's thinking only for his little island.

We start with the center of the universe and then franchise the concept.

[Toriko]

My point is that our city leaders are, or should be responsible for protecting the municipalities in which they govern.

I've not disagreed, though I think you give Alfie too much credit with his initial post. After all, from what I can tell you really wouldn't, if you'd remain consistent, have a problem with the minutemen on our Mexican border, but I do recall Alfie criticizing them, which would mean he isn't being consistent and one would consider this to be another satirical offering from him.

Well, Alfie's little Island is usually ten years ahead of the rest of the Nation, and considering it's the Nation's Financial Capitol (among other things) I feel that the protection of Manhatten is justified.

It doesn't change the fact that he is requesting non-locals to influence local politics. I'm certain the locals care about protecting not only the nation's financial capitol (among other things) along with themselves. His was not an analysis of an idea; it was a (faux) plea of assistance.

But hey, when the shit goes down, I'll be on my farm growing my own food, and waiting with a loaded shotgun for any son of bitch who wants to give me any greif about it.

You libertarian, you.

[Sk8ter_Boy]

DONT LET PLANES NEAR BUILDINGS
and for that matter dont let cars or trains either
and last but not least KILL all the horses their our biggest threat that will solve all our problems /sarcasm off

[CTF]

I've not disagreed, though I think you give Alfie too much credit with his initial post. After all, from what I can tell you really wouldn't, if you'd remain consistent, have a problem with the minutemen on our Mexican border, but I do recall Alfie criticizing them, which would mean he isn't being consistent and one would consider this to be another satirical offering from him.

Actually I do have a problem with the minutemen on our Mexican Border. Texas itself has a not so proud past of deputizing Texas Rangers to protect our border with some no so scrupelous results. Study up on the history of Harligen, Brownsville, and Laredo, and the relations between Mexican/Americans, Tejanos, and "Gringos."

To me Minutemen Militias are nothing more than Vigilantes.

So, what you're saying is that Alfie's not being serious. What's the weather like in NYC today? Maybe he's board!

It doesn't change the fact that he is requesting non-locals to influence local politics. I'm certain the locals care about protecting not only the nation's financial capitol (among other things) along with themselves. His was not an analysis of an idea; it was a (faux) plea of assistance.

I lived in Manhatten long enough to know, that New Yorkers can take care of themselves!

You libertarian, you.

I know! I'm busted!



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[smelter]

I've not disagreed, though I think you give Alfie too much credit with his initial post. After all, from what I can tell you really wouldn't, if you'd remain consistent, have a problem with the minutemen on our Mexican border, but I do recall Alfie criticizing them, which would mean he isn't being consistent and one would consider this to be another satirical offering from him.

Say it ain't so Alfie ..... say it ain't so!

[JayHawk]

I am sorry but this is pathetic

[Toriko]

I am sorry but this is pathetic

What is it you find pathetic?

[General_Alfie]

Say it ain't so Alfie ..... say it ain't so!

Well it was a joke earlier today, but by the initial man-on-the-street reactions thus far, this issue could help rocket me into Gracie Mansion! I can see it now, General Mayor Alfie, or Mayor General Alfie, whichever...

[CTF]

Well it was a joke earlier today, but by the initial man-on-the-street reactions thus far, this issue could help rocket me into Gracie Mansion! I can see it now, General Mayor Alfie, or Mayor General Alfie, whichever...

See! I told y'all he was bored!

Now he's suffering from delusions of grandeur!

Alfie come back! Come Back! *squealing like Kate Winslet at the end of Titanic.*




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[General_Alfie]

MANHATTANITES AGREE: "WE WANT TO LIVE!"
Support for rocket corps reaches fevered pitch as city awakens to yet ANOTHER Sunday

Keep sending those letters and e-mails, folks, the mayor hears you!!!!!!

[smelter]

^^ See that ICO7 ...... I knew GA wasn't being satirical! Go New York Rockets, Go!

[General_Alfie]

AMERICA IS LISTENING, SMELTER, SHE'S LISTENING! I THINK THE METS' CHOKING LAST NIGHT HAD A LOT TO DO WITH IT!!!!

[Toriko]

All I see, dear smelter, is a sad man with nothing important to say and nothing better to do. I mean, a thread like this should be in Hot Topics...

[General_Alfie]

More weak and sad laments from the Disassociated Personality. Your seven posts in this spoofing thread could all vanish, and we'd be a better nation for it.

You know, it grieves me to say this, but your posts of, Oh, the last year have been so devoid of cogency and structure that I've sort of given up trying to understand your broken (indeed, fractured) syntax. To even say you struggle with the here-and-now would be a reach.

[Toriko]

More weak and sad laments from the Disassociated Personality.

You're a psychologist now, or did you get that from yours and are projecting?

Your seven posts in this spoofing thread could all vanish, and we'd be a better nation for it.

The same is true for all of your posts and your ability to communicate in any fashion, but if wishes were horses, Alfie, you'd probably get caught indecently with them too.

You know, it grieves me to say this, but your posts of, Oh, the last year have been so devoid of cogency and structure that I've sort of given up trying to understand your broken (indeed, fractured) syntax. To even say you struggle with the here-and-now would be a reach.

I'm curious, as you scrape the bottom of the barrel with Hot Topics-caliber postings such as this, if you really have nothing this close to election day.

[smelter]

All I see, dear smelter, is a sad man with nothing important to say and nothing better to do. I mean, a thread like this should be in Hot Topics...

I'm a Dave Barry fan ..... we need some humor to take the edge off CE&P, every now and then ...... don't you agree?

[Toriko]

I'm a Dave Barry fan ..... we need some humor to take the edge off CE&P, every now and then ...... don't you agree?

Sure, I can agree. A shame no one has brought any. Maybe someone will see your post and try something.

[maltese]

A recently acquired made for TV movie script!

....somewhere on the East Side....




....*thrap* "This meeting of the Manhattanite Citizens Rocket Corps will come to order!"

"Who's the fascist with the gavel?"

"Shhhhh. This is a meeting of proletariat, we're only temporarily giving him any authority."

"....and then each citizen will be issued his rocket!"

"Pig! You mean her rocket!"

"Ok, His and/or Her rocket".

"What about transgendered people, can they have a rocket?"

"Yes, we're all Manhattanites here. Everyone gets a rocket."

"Who made the rockets?"

"What?"

"I mean, they're not made by the military-industrial complex, are they?"

"No, they're handcrafted by an autonomous collective".

"Were the craftsmen given a living wage?"

"Look, we picked them up from a Reuters cameramen returning from Gaza. I don't know who made the damned things. Give it a rest."

"Back to the fascist shit again, I see."

"Then we take our rockets...."

"General, sir...."

"What?"

"Do the rockets violate the assault weapons ban?"

"No. The pervert Republicans let it lapse, anyway."

"But shouldn't we object on principle?"

"Not in an election year. Pretend you're a libertarian, and let's move on."

"What intelligence do we have about these aircraft?"

"They're hitting buildings. We've already voted to shoot them down."

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"What about the dog?"

"What about him?"

"Isn't the camauflage and American flag outfit a bit much?"

"It's just accessories!"

"I think you're using the nationalist military messages to encourage violence and imply that the rest of us aren't patriotic!"

"Can you give it a rest?"

"Help, help, I'm being oppressed!"


....the group disperses amidst the sound of aircraft engines approaching...

[Kulindahr]

I give Maltese the award for "Best Post Yet".

[General_Alfie]

A recently acquired made for TV movie script!

Maltessa, dear, my fucking hat is off to you. That was the funniest thing I've read since Laura Bush's rap sheet -- well done, Sir. It's always a pleasure when civilized, normal people can have fun (unlike some sociopaths).

[General_Alfie]

Sure, I can agree. A shame no one has brought any. Maybe someone will see your post and try something.

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

[Kulindahr]

Maltessa, dear, my fucking hat is off to you. That was the funniest thing I've read since Laura Bush's rap sheet -- well done, Sir. It's always a pleasure when civilized, normal people can have fun (unlike some sociopaths).

Omigod, Alfie, that gets my "Best Pic in Thread" award! The earlier ones seemed cheap and tacky, but THAT is something the government information office might put out!

[Dior]

What the fuck is this insanity?

[smelter]

LOL, great post Maltese!